00:06Food is an essential part of our daily lives, but most people have a complicated relationship
00:11with what they eat and how they eat.
00:13So today we're talking to R29ers about how they've come to love their bodies and make
00:16their relationships with food work for them.
00:19But it's important to remember that their relationships with food are very unique, so
00:22keep that in mind while watching the video.
00:24Hey guys, I'm Joe.
00:25I have a love, love, sometimes hate relationship with food.
00:29Sometimes I overdo it.
00:30Sometimes I eat too much.
00:32I have the biggest sweet tooth out of anybody you've probably ever met, but I've definitely
00:37struggled with food at the same time.
00:39I like to eat a lot.
00:41I like to eat a lot, a lot, a lot, a lot.
00:44The kind of foods I'm consuming aren't the healthiest, and then I guess the way I'm consuming
00:49them also aren't the healthiest.
00:51About a year ago, I was pretty unhappy with my life situation on the whole.
00:55One kind of unexpected turning point in the whole process was a stranger on the street
01:00said, uh, get out of here, chubby little bitch boy.
01:03And I didn't really know where he wanted me to go, but the chubby part kind of stuck.
01:07My weird relationship with food really started through cheerleading.
01:11I would always have to wear a crop top uniform.
01:13And even though I was always working out and eating normal, come competition day when I had
01:18to put that uniform on, I would always eat the minimum because I didn't want to feel
01:22like I looked bad in any way, which food wouldn't have done.
01:27My relationship with food stems from my relationship with my dad.
01:32And like one aspect of our relationship that I loved is like we both like to eat.
01:36We both like to snack.
01:37And it got to a point where my mom, she said, okay, we're cutting out snacks.
01:40We're cutting out sweets.
01:41You guys like can't have them anymore.
01:43Did that stop us?
01:43No, we just had to like become sneaky with it.
01:46So we would be like, oh yeah, we're going to the gas station.
01:48But then, you know, of course, moms know all.
01:51So she finds out even again.
01:53So he kind of stopped the snacking as much as he used to, but me, it only got worse.
01:59After that, I started to really take a good hard look at what I was eating and how much
02:02I was eating and when I was eating it and lost 20 pounds since then, which is kind of cool.
02:06That's reassuring.
02:07I thought food was bad for my body, but actually it was nourishing for my body.
02:12It was good for my body and I needed it to survive and I should never have had that crazy
02:17idea.
02:18I'm kind of in a place where I'm trying to find the right balance.
02:22It's just kind of finding a healthier alternative so I can have my cake and eat it too, but be
02:27healthy about it.
02:28It's important to know that restricting our diets against what our body is telling us
02:32can be just as harmful as binging junk food.
02:34I did ballet and I would see ballerinas smoking cigarettes so they could suppress their appetite.
02:41Sadly, the media did influence me pretty heavily growing up.
02:44You're cool if you eat this and move this way, you're not cool if you eat this way and
02:48look that way.
02:49There's so many things in life you can't control, so controlling my food is something
02:54that I still do.
02:55There's a really specific time where I would only eat a bowl of steamed broccoli for dinner.
03:01I felt like my body wouldn't allow me to be any skinnier and I still didn't feel good.
03:06I felt like this is the lightest I'm going to be and I'm still not happy with it.
03:10Everyone has a different relationship with food, but when does your relationship become
03:15dangerous?
03:15When I was 12, I saw a young woman in a magazine and I really, really, really wanted to look
03:23like her.
03:23I picked it up and I was like, Mom, I really want to look like this girl and she was
03:26like,
03:27you'd have to lose a ton of weight to be able to look like that girl.
03:31I started looking at other magazines and this girl was telling a story about her sister
03:36who had died.
03:36She was bulimic and she was making herself throw up, but my brain didn't even care that
03:41her sister died.
03:42All my brain heard was like, oh, her sister lost a ton of weight.
03:46I could do that.
03:47I could stop myself before I die.
03:49So from when I was 12 to when I was about 24, I've had this very intense up and down
03:58bulimia life and journey.
04:05That being said, these illnesses are treatable.
04:08So I'm 24, maybe 25, and I'm going to a figure drawing class.
04:14In comes this woman, the most beautiful plus size woman I've ever seen in my entire life.
04:20She came up to me and she was like, hey, you would be great at this.
04:23And I was like, no, no.
04:26I'm too ugly and gross and too fat to do this.
04:29And she was like, people love to draw curves and people love to see curves, whether they're
04:33willing to admit it or not.
04:34But if you admit it to yourself, then everything will be great.
04:37She understood where I was in the world.
04:39I remember being like, what I am doing to myself is not a way to live, it is a way
04:44to die.
04:45And I am going to end up just like that girl in the magazine when I was 12.
04:48So I remember like the next day, my goal is that I'm just going to eat something and I'm
04:54not going to throw up.
04:56I didn't have a choice at that point.
04:57I was going to die.
04:58We are here to tell you that you can overcome an eating disorder.
05:01At the end of the day, we think that all body types are beautiful.
05:05Lean into it.
05:05Lean into your body and be really proud of it.
05:08And confidence will take you further than any single digit jean size you'll ever have.
05:16I think we need to encourage people and young girls to just love themselves and live their
05:21lives.
05:22If you're insecure about your body, I would try and figure out where those insecurities
05:27stem from.
05:28You have to feel good about yourself.
05:30Food is not going to be the enemy for you.
05:33You can eat food.
05:34You can eat whatever you want.
05:35I think it's important to just look yourself in the eye every day and be happy with what
05:38you put in your body.
05:40Educate yourself in a smart way.
05:42Don't limit yourself.
05:43If you want to eat something amazing, go for it.
05:45I have a s'mores cookie sitting at my desk right now.
05:47Moderation is the best way to go about living your healthy food lifestyle.
05:51As long as you're healthy and happy, you're doing things right.
05:55If you or a loved one might be suffering from an eating disorder, call the National Eating
05:59Disorders Association for confidential help at 1-800-931-2237.
06:06Thank you so much for watching and we'll see you next time.
