- 2 days ago
Parenting by example starts with a truth we sometimes forget: children learn how to live by watching the people who raise them.
They notice how we treat others, keep our promises, handle setbacks, and show love. Those everyday moments are teaching them what adulthood looks like.
Yesterday, I spent the day with my youngest daughter, and I couldn't stop thinking about the remarkable person she's becoming. I can't wait for the world to see what I already see in my children.
But I know that supporting their future means being present in their lives today.
I parent my children. I show up. I listen, hug them, encourage their interests, and stay involved in their education and decisions. Our children have never earned less than an A in school. I'm proud of their achievements, but we don't demand perfection. We give them the love, guidance, and support to do their best.
There's a belief at the heart of our home: alone, any one of us is pretty hard to beat. Together, as a family, we're virtually impossible to beat.
That's not about being better than other people. It's about knowing that when life gets difficult, nobody in this family has to face it alone.
Now think about your own home for a moment.
When the front door closes, what do your children experience? Are they surrounded by encouragement, kindness, and meaningful conversations? Or is everyone absorbed in a separate screen?
Technology can be helpful, but it cannot replace the love and guidance of a present parent.
Jesus welcomed children when others tried to turn them away (Mark 10:13–16). His example reminds me that children deserve our time and attention, not just whatever we have left over.
Proverbs 22:6 also calls us to take the responsibility of guiding children seriously. And our actions often teach more powerfully than our words.
In this personal Christian motivational talk, I share why being involved in my children's lives matters so deeply, how faith and family support help build confidence, and why setting the right example may be one of the greatest gifts we can give.
If you've been exhausted, distracted, or wondering whether you're doing enough, I hope this message encourages you. None of us is a perfect parent. But every day offers another chance to listen, say 'I love you,' pray together, and make your family a priority.
Watch the video, and ask yourself: What are my children learning from the way I live?
For more faith-based motivation, Christian encouragement, and conversations about the things that matter most, subscribe to
Douglas Vandergraph on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph
Please share this with someone who cares about raising a strong, loving family.
God bless you.
They notice how we treat others, keep our promises, handle setbacks, and show love. Those everyday moments are teaching them what adulthood looks like.
Yesterday, I spent the day with my youngest daughter, and I couldn't stop thinking about the remarkable person she's becoming. I can't wait for the world to see what I already see in my children.
But I know that supporting their future means being present in their lives today.
I parent my children. I show up. I listen, hug them, encourage their interests, and stay involved in their education and decisions. Our children have never earned less than an A in school. I'm proud of their achievements, but we don't demand perfection. We give them the love, guidance, and support to do their best.
There's a belief at the heart of our home: alone, any one of us is pretty hard to beat. Together, as a family, we're virtually impossible to beat.
That's not about being better than other people. It's about knowing that when life gets difficult, nobody in this family has to face it alone.
Now think about your own home for a moment.
When the front door closes, what do your children experience? Are they surrounded by encouragement, kindness, and meaningful conversations? Or is everyone absorbed in a separate screen?
Technology can be helpful, but it cannot replace the love and guidance of a present parent.
Jesus welcomed children when others tried to turn them away (Mark 10:13–16). His example reminds me that children deserve our time and attention, not just whatever we have left over.
Proverbs 22:6 also calls us to take the responsibility of guiding children seriously. And our actions often teach more powerfully than our words.
In this personal Christian motivational talk, I share why being involved in my children's lives matters so deeply, how faith and family support help build confidence, and why setting the right example may be one of the greatest gifts we can give.
If you've been exhausted, distracted, or wondering whether you're doing enough, I hope this message encourages you. None of us is a perfect parent. But every day offers another chance to listen, say 'I love you,' pray together, and make your family a priority.
Watch the video, and ask yourself: What are my children learning from the way I live?
For more faith-based motivation, Christian encouragement, and conversations about the things that matter most, subscribe to
Douglas Vandergraph on YouTube:
https://www.youtube.com/@douglasvandergraph
Please share this with someone who cares about raising a strong, loving family.
God bless you.
Category
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CreativityTranscript
00:00I want to tell you something that's really important to me.
00:03Yesterday, I spent the day with my youngest daughter.
00:07And somewhere in the middle of that day, I found myself looking at her and thinking something that filled my
00:16heart with joy.
00:18My children are going to be amazing when they grow up.
00:23I genuinely cannot wait until the world gets to see what I already see in them.
00:28And I'm not talking about money, fame, or some impressive job title.
00:35I'm talking about the human beings they are becoming.
00:40Their character.
00:42Their hearts.
00:44Their intelligence.
00:46Their compassion.
00:48Their potential.
00:50And you know something?
00:51I believe there's a reason they're becoming such extraordinary people.
00:56I parent my children.
00:59I don't just live in the same house with them.
01:02I don't just provide a paycheck, put food on the table, and figure my responsibility ends there.
01:10I show up.
01:13Every single day.
01:16100%.
01:18My family is the most important thing I have in this world.
01:21And I make sure my children know that.
01:24Not because I tell them once in a while.
01:28Because I show them.
01:29You see.
01:31I hug them.
01:32I kiss them.
01:34I tell them.
01:35I tell them I love them.
01:38I listen to them.
01:40I support their activities.
01:42Encourage their interests.
01:44And stand beside them as they make decisions and discover who they are.
01:49And I want to ask you something today.
01:54Are you doing that?
01:56I'm not asking to criticize you.
01:59I'm asking because I think there's nothing more important.
02:05This is one of the most important conversations we can have.
02:11What's going on inside your house?
02:14Not what your house looks like from the street.
02:16Not how much you paid for it.
02:19Not how beautiful your furniture is.
02:22I'm asking what happens when the front door closes.
02:26Is there love in that house?
02:30Is there encouragement?
02:32Is there laughter?
02:34Do your children feel comfortable coming to you when something goes wrong?
02:39Do they know they're loved even when they make mistakes?
02:44Or is everybody sitting in a different room, staring at different screens, living separate
02:51lives under the same roof?
02:53Because there's a difference between having a family and actively being a family.
03:01And I think that's what we need to talk about.
03:04Let me share something with you.
03:06My children have never received anything less than an A in school.
03:12Not once.
03:15And I'm extraordinarily proud of them for that fact.
03:19But here's what I want you to understand.
03:23We don't achieve that with them by standing over them, demanding perfect grades, threatening
03:30consequences, or making them feel like their worth depends on a report card.
03:36But we don't have to.
03:39They have support.
03:41They have encouragement.
03:43They have parents who are involved in their lives.
03:47They have people who believe in them, help them when they struggle, celebrate their accomplishments,
03:54and remind them they're more capable than they realize, and that they can do extraordinary things.
04:03And that's what makes the difference in our home.
04:07Not an A on a report card.
04:09That doesn't determine the value of a child.
04:12Some children face challenges that require different kinds of support.
04:17But what matters is that they have somebody standing beside them, helping them become the best
04:24versions of themselves.
04:26And there's something else I've taught my family that I believe in every fiber of my being.
04:35Individually, any person in my household is pretty hard to beat.
04:40But together, as a family, we're virtually impossible to beat.
04:47And I mean that.
04:48Not because we're better than anybody else.
04:52Not because life can't knock us down.
04:55But because nobody in this family has to face life's challenges alone.
05:01When one of us struggles, the others stand beside them.
05:05When one of us succeeds, we all celebrate.
05:12When somebody falls, there are hands reaching down to help them back up.
05:18And that's what family means to me.
05:21We don't compete against each other.
05:24We strengthen one another.
05:27And I want my children to carry that understanding into adulthood.
05:31Because no matter what the world throws at them, I want them to know that they belong to something
05:38stronger than any individual challenge.
05:41They belong to a family.
05:44A family that loves them.
05:47Now, I want you to think about what that kind of security can do for a child.
05:53And think about the responsibility that we have, as adults and parents, to create it.
06:02Proverbs 22, verse 6 teaches us to train up a child in the way he should go.
06:10It doesn't tell us to hand our responsibility over to an electronic device.
06:15It doesn't tell us to let strangers on social media determine our children's values.
06:22It calls us to guide them.
06:26To teach them.
06:28To raise them.
06:30And I believe that responsibility is sacred.
06:34But here's something that concerns me.
06:38Technology has become a substitute for parenting in too many households.
06:44Don't misunderstand me.
06:46Technology can be wonderful.
06:49It can educate, inspire, and connect people.
06:54But a screen cannot replace a parent's love.
06:58An algorithm cannot teach your child everything they need to know about integrity.
07:04And no electronic device can substitute for being held by someone, by someone who loves you unconditionally.
07:16So, let me ask you something.
07:19Who's raising your children?
07:22You?
07:24Or whatever happens to appear on the screen next?
07:29That's a serious question.
07:31Because children are learning constantly.
07:35And your children are watching you more than they're listening to you.
07:41So, we've got to be sure to set that premium example for them.
07:46And we don't have to be perfect.
07:48But we do have to show up.
07:51And you know what?
07:53If we're not showing up and actively guiding them, other influences will help shape what they become.
08:00I want you to think about Jesus Christ.
08:04In Mark 10, people brought children to Jesus.
08:08And his disciples tried to turn them away.
08:12Jesus was busy.
08:15Apparently, they thought Jesus had more important things to do.
08:19But Jesus stopped them.
08:21He welcomed those children and took them into his arms.
08:25And he blessed them.
08:27Think about that.
08:29Jesus Christ had time for children.
08:34He didn't consider them an inconvenience.
08:37He made them a priority.
08:40And shouldn't we?
08:42If the Son of God could stop what he was doing to embrace a child,
08:47shouldn't we be willing to put down our phones, close our computers, and give our children our attention?
08:55Because I'm going to tell you something that I've personally learned.
08:59Your children are watching your life more closely than they're listening to your lectures.
09:06You can tell them to be kind all day long.
09:10But how do you treat the people around you?
09:13You can tell them to be honest.
09:16But do they see you telling the truth when it costs you something?
09:21You can teach them about faith.
09:24But do they see you turning to God when life gets difficult?
09:29You can tell them to respect others.
09:32But how do you speak to the people living under your own roof?
09:38That's where parenting really happens.
09:41Your children are learning how to become adults by watching you be one.
09:46They're learning how to handle disappointment by watching how you respond to yours.
09:54They're learning how to love by watching how you love.
09:59And they're learning what matters in life by watching what you make time for.
10:05That's powerful, isn't it?
10:08And it's a little frightening as well.
10:11Because none of us gets everything right.
10:15I certainly don't.
10:17I'm not a perfect father.
10:19I make mistakes.
10:21I have weaknesses.
10:23I have moments when I could have done better.
10:27But I keep showing up.
10:29And that's what I want you to hear today.
10:33Parenting isn't about perfection.
10:35It's about presence, commitment, consistency, and love.
10:42And listen, I understand that some parents are raising children alone.
10:48I myself grew up in a single-parent family.
10:51My father was killed when I was nine years old.
10:56And you know, some of us are working multiple jobs.
11:00Some of us are exhausted.
11:02Some of us are doing everything we possibly can with limited time and resources.
11:10And I'm definitely not suggesting that every family must look exactly like mine.
11:16A loving single parent, grandparent, or guardian can provide an extraordinary foundation.
11:26What matters is whether the children know somebody is there for them.
11:32Somebody who believes they're worth the effort.
11:36And if you've become distracted or disconnected,
11:40today can be the day you begin changing that.
11:44You can sit down and have a real conversation.
11:48You can tell your children you're proud of them.
11:52You can pray together.
11:54You can hug them simply because you love them.
11:59And you can start setting the example you hope they'll follow.
12:03Because someday, those children are going to enter the world as adults.
12:09And the world will encounter the people we've helped to raise.
12:13I want my children to be people of faith, people of integrity, people who love others, show compassion, work hard,
12:25and have the courage to do what's right.
12:28And I want them to know without the slightest doubt that their father loves them.
12:36Not because they earn straight A's.
12:39Not because they make me look good, and they do.
12:44Not because they achieve something impressive.
12:47But because they're my children.
12:50And you know what?
12:51That's enough.
12:53Yesterday, while I was spending time with my youngest daughter,
12:58I caught myself looking toward her future.
13:02But then I realized something.
13:05The future isn't the only thing worth celebrating.
13:10I get to be her father today.
13:13I get to be present today.
13:16I get to love her, encourage her, and help her discover who God created her to be.
13:24And there's nothing more important I could be doing.
13:28One day, the world will see how amazing my children are.
13:35But until then, I'm going to keep doing what I believe God entrusted me to do.
13:41I'm going to keep parenting them.
13:44I'm going to keep showing up.
13:45I'm going to keep putting my family first.
13:50Because I know something about this family.
13:54Each of us has strengths, gifts, and the ability to accomplish extraordinary things.
14:01We already have.
14:03But when we bring those strengths together, when we stand united in faith, love, and commitment,
14:13we become something even greater.
14:16Alone, we're hard to beat.
14:20Together, we're virtually impossible to beat.
14:25And that's the kind of family I want my children to remember growing up in.
14:32Not a perfect family.
14:35A family that always showed up for one another.
14:38So let me leave you with this question.
14:45I parent my children.
14:47How about you?
14:49What examples are you setting?
14:52What kind of home are you building?
14:55Because the greatest legacy you can leave may not be the money you earn,
15:00the house you own, or the accomplishments you collect.
15:05It may be the faith, love, character, and confidence you help build inside your children.
15:15And that, my friends, is a legacy worth giving your very best to.
15:23God bless you all.
15:25God bless your families.
15:27My name is Douglas Van Der Graf.
15:30And I believe in Jesus Christ.
15:33God bless every single one of you.
15:37Every single one.
15:39And everyone you love.
15:43God bless you all.
15:44God bless you all.
15:45God bless you all.
15:45God bless you all.
15:48God bless you all.
15:48God bless you all.