00:00You know as you know I'm a father of two teenage girls. Sometimes I wish I was a
00:07better father than I am. But if you're the parent of a teenager then you know
00:13there are days that can hurt your heart more than almost anything else. You try
00:20and that's what makes it hurt so much because you're trying to do something
00:25good. You're trying to spend time with them. You take them somewhere you think is
00:31amazing because you're trying to create a memory and you are also trying to be
00:36thoughtful. And then somewhere along the way the attitude shows up. The tone
00:44changes and the tension rises and suddenly the whole thing that was meant
00:51to be good turns painful. And that's hard. You know I think sometimes parents
00:58need somebody to just say that plainly. That is hard. It's hard being a parent.
01:07And it's hard when your child talks to you like you are the problem after you were
01:13just trying to bless them. And it's hard when you put your heart into a moment and
01:19they act like it meant nothing. And it's hard when you know they're young. You
01:26know they're emotional. And they're changing. But you know what? It still hurts
01:33anyway. And it does hurt. And you can understand that they're teenagers and you
01:40can still come away wounded. You can know hormones are real and emotions are
01:46unstable. And still feel the sting of disrespect. You can love your child with
01:55your whole heart. And still sit there afterwards wondering why it has to be
02:00this damn difficult. So if that's where you are today I want to speak to you like
02:09one parent to another. Do not shame yourself for hurting. And do not act like you are
02:18supposed to feel nothing. Do not pretend those moments don't get to you. They do. They
02:26get to me. They have to get to you. Because when you love your child sometimes the price you
02:35have to pay is the price of having a real heart. But I also want to say this. Don't
02:44let one bad day become the whole story. Teenagers can be all over the place. One
02:52minute they want your attention. The next they act like they don't want anything to
02:57do with you. And one day they laugh with you and you think hey we're getting a
03:01connection here. And then the next day they're upset over something you did not
03:06even know was wrong. And they're changing fast. And a lot of the time they do not
03:14even understand themselves. Let alone know how to explain themselves to you. And that
03:21does not make bad behavior okay. It doesn't mean there should be no boundaries. It does
03:29not mean parents should just have to absorb everything and say nothing. We're the
03:36parents. We should be setting the guardrails. But you know it also does not mean
03:43this is always as simple as my child just doesn't love me. Sometimes it's
03:50confusion. Sometimes it's their immaturity. And sometimes it's pain that they're
03:56dealing with that's coming out sideways. Sometimes it's just a storm in them that
04:02lands on you. And that's why we need strength. Not just parenting strength but
04:10soul strength. Because if you're not careful repeated hurt will harden you no
04:18matter who it comes from. And it will make you stop trying inside. And it'll make you
04:25expect disappointment when dealing with them before the day even begins. It will
04:32make you protect yourself instead of staying present like a parent should. And
04:39that's where I think faith matters. Not in a fake way. And not in a way that ignores the
04:46pain. I mean in a real way. In the way where you have to take that hurt to God and
04:54say
04:54Lord help me. Because I do not want this to turn me cold. Help me. Because I do not want
05:05to react out of pain. Help me. Because I need wisdom for this child. And strength for my own
05:15heart too. You know you'll never forget the first time your child tells you. I hate you.
05:24You know sometimes God does not remove the heart season right away. Sometimes he just
05:32steadies you in the middle of it. And maybe that's where you need. That's where your need
05:40is most right now. You don't need some perfect technique from some book that was
05:47written by some PhD who learned how to parent from some book at some college or
05:54university. Parenting doesn't come with a guidebook. And we don't need some magic
06:02sentence. We just need grace to stay steady. Enough wisdom to hold our boundaries. And enough
06:12love to keep our hearts open. We need enough faith to not let one painful season define everything.
06:23So to the parent who is listening. Hear me. You're not weak because this hurts. You're not
06:31failing because your teenager is difficult right now. And you're not a bad parent because the day
06:39fell apart. You're in a hard season and hard seasons require deep strength. So keep loving. Keep leading.
06:52Keep setting boundaries. Keep bringing your heart to God. And do not give up inside. Because one day the child
07:02who does not understand your heart right now may see it clearly. One day they may look back and realize
07:11you kept trying. You kept loving. And you did not walk away just because it got hard. And until then,
07:21my friends,
07:23stay honest, stay wise, stay steady. And when it hurts, and trust me, it will hurt. Do not carry it
07:34alone. Take it to God.
07:36And if you want, I can pray for you. And if you want, I can pray for you. And I
07:41will every single day. Because
07:44together as parents, if we work together and pray to God, we can get through this. My name is Douglas
07:53Vandergraaf. And I believe in Jesus Christ. God bless every single one of you. Every single one.
08:05And I believe in Jesus Christ. God bless every single one of you. Bye-bye.
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