00:00those attributes sadly this makes this film i think even worse than what rise of cobra watch
00:06it again i think when i first saw this i went you know maybe it's better but watch it again
00:11it's even more of a missed opportunity and that makes me even more fucking pissed
00:18because you have little attributes that work snake guys looks like snake guys yes they have
00:23these weird funky lips like he did in rise of cobra snake guys is cool cobra commander actually looks
00:31like cobra commander but then let's not do jack let's do jack shit with him that's more jonathan
00:37price as zartan's movie i mean you look at it it is more his movie than cobra fucking commander
00:43or ray stevenson as firefly the rock dwayne johnson he's not bad but
00:54compared to even the other films he's done there's really nothing that makes his character stand out
00:59and it doesn't help that the action scenes suck because you get the fucking director
01:03who did a justin bieber concert film step up two and step up three dicks in my face 3d
01:10maybe you should not get the fucking director who did justin bieber concert films
01:14oh he did crazy rich asians that does not equal a fucking action film an action director
01:21so you get action scenes heavy heavy into the cut cut shaky cam business
01:30and the action scene anyone remembers is the cliffside battle between snake guys
01:35and his protege jinx with these ninjas and all that you saw in the fucking trailer
01:39they gave the entire fucking thing away
01:47it doesn't work as a sequel because most of the cast from the first film just disappears
01:51with no word or iota where's marlon wayne's character ripcord where's dennis fucking quade
01:58and his character hawk where's scarlet where the fuck is anybody the only one you see is duke
02:06channing tatum and then surprisingly he dies but maybe not surprisingly because he hated
02:12do what he didn't want to do the first movie
02:15and channing tatum is a guy that i've actually warmed up to a little bit
02:18because i liked him in 21 and 22 jump street i liked white house down
02:24i did so
02:27but he was not a good fit for gi joe he wasn't should have been a number of other actors
02:32so okay they killed him off surprising but what where's marlon wayne's where's dennis quade where's
02:37anybody it's as fucking weird as a sequel to not even mention them and then storm shadow how they
02:46completely do a 180 on his backstory which i call bullshit well actually he didn't kill his master
02:55zartan killed the master with his disguise but why why would he kill a master so that hopefully
03:04this little kid will join him even though in the first movie storm shadow hated zartan and thought
03:09he was a piece of shit for how he acted and killed people but then he even kills people at
03:16the beginning
03:16of this film when he's trying to get cobra commander out he's killing people but now he's supposed to be
03:21a good guy and we're supposed to root for him even though he was killing people left to right
03:28not only in the first one but at the beginning of this film
03:33and
03:38in the first film there's a moment where he is looking at a picture and he's got these fearful
03:43eyes he's remembering the moment that he killed his master and he's haunted by it
03:47and yet he hates zartan but yet he fouls zartan it's like the people who made this did not watch
03:54the first fucking movie and if you don't be lazy
03:57you
