00:00You think any of these thugs can change?
00:01I'll suck your feet.
00:02Hm, okay, I'm down.
00:04The movie begins in a Zootopia wannabe ass-like world,
00:06except humans also coexist with talking animals,
00:09and the people here treat the animal predators like they're criminals.
00:11So these two animals are like,
00:12well, if you're gonna treat us like criminals based on our appearance,
00:14might as well be one.
00:15And their names are super interesting,
00:17Mr. Snake and Mr. Wolf.
00:18So does that mean there's only one wolf in this whole world and only one snake?
00:21Cause if so, then how are they even born?
00:23Like, so they don't even have any parents and just came to be?
00:25So Wolf leads a very successful criminal gang known as the Bad Guys,
00:28and the members consist of Miss Tarantula,
00:30who's a computer hacker nerd played by the Asian Aquafina.
00:33Yes, of course, the Asian's the super nerd.
00:35Then there's Mr. Shark, who's apparently the master of disguise,
00:37which just tells me the people in this world have the IQ of a brown turd.
00:41And there's Piranha, and I'm not making this up,
00:42the film describes him as crazy as he proceeds to speak Spanish.
00:45Dreamworks, what are you trying to say that? Latinos are crazy?
00:48You already made the Asian the nerd, like, come on.
00:50Oh, I see bad.
00:52Oh, the fuck's so bad, the cops are hallucinating.
00:55And we meet Officer She-Hulk,
00:56who I won't be surprised if she was made in a lab,
00:58as she can literally pull a moving car towards her with her bare hands,
01:01like, God damn, how much you bench?
01:03She looks like her middle name is Protein.
01:05She looks like if Hulk Hogan, Brock Lesnar, and Brock Lesnar's daughter
01:08all had a baby together with a ginger.
01:10As Wolf decides to drive like the Asian parent
01:12who just got their kid's B-plus report card.
01:16And they get away.
01:18No, no, no!
01:19I need more steroids!
01:20So the bad guys enter their secret hideout man cave,
01:22and they are absolutely loaded with stolen items and cash
01:25as they celebrate Snake's birthday.
01:27Snake, make a toast.
01:28I hope you'll die from AIDS, and just know one day I will eat you.
01:31So Snake tries to act like this nonchalant,
01:33I hate everyone kind of guy,
01:34when deep down he loves the gang and is happy he found a sense of belonging.
01:37Then he fights over a popsicle glizzy.
01:39Ooh!
01:40You want this glizzy?
01:41Give it zaddy, uh!
01:42Yeah, shark is definitely gay.
01:44Shout out to Dreamworks for including LGBT glizzy hungry characters.
01:47Then Snake swallows the glizzy and grown-ass animals start fighting over
01:50a two-dollar popsicle when Snake could buy a lifetime supply of it.
01:53Is he stupid or is he stupid?
01:55Then group leader turns on the news and it's a reporter glazing the bad guys
01:57on how they're like the best thieves to ever do it,
01:59and we're introduced to the governor, Diane Foxington.
02:01Oh, you just know the furries are going to the shit.
02:04Dreamworks, y'all knew what you were doing.
02:06This movie was made for the forties.
02:08So Governor Diane deliberately pisses off the bad guys,
02:10mocking them like they're unoriginal nobodies.
02:12Then says she'll present the golden dolphin award to the
02:14goodest citizen of the year at the annual Good Samaritan awards,
02:16pretty much baiting them to go steal it.
02:18Wait, wait, wait, did that fox just say the Good Samaritan award for the goodest citizen?
02:22First of all, yay!
02:24And secondly, that sounds like the most narcissistic,
02:26pretentious, Ellen DeGeneres, self-righteous ass award ever.
02:29So Wolf suggests to steal it as we're told no criminal has ever stolen it,
02:32not even the Crimson Poor.
02:33And cuz he's the group leader, what's his minions gonna say?
02:35No?
02:35So they create a carefully calculated plan to steal an award that looks like it cost
02:38less than a couple grand to make.
02:40Did you know it only cost $400 to make an Oscars trophy?
02:42So I won't be shocked if that golden dolphin is made in China.
02:46So bro puts on glasses and a mustache as a disguise,
02:48acting like he's not the only wolf in this whole world.
02:50But hey, it works because the people here are stupid.
02:53Then we meet this short king guinea pig who looks like James Corden,
02:55by the way, and speaks in a British accent.
02:57Coincidence?
02:58I don't think so.
02:59Like this reporter-
03:00The back end of the book is a stock of brazen and a hybrid man.
03:03I've seen a cool couple grand if he is not.
03:03I have seen some people on the left hand from the right hand to the left hand.
03:03But we've seen some people on the left hand.
03:04They say five thousand years ago.
03:04they know it's a big deal.
03:04So I've seen some people on the left hand.
03:04So we can't live as an oil in this way.
03:04So we can't have a great deal.
