00:00I know you care about me like I know you love me like I know you love me bro
00:05sometimes it just gets so intense and then that's what creates the misery
00:15misery is about this really important like connection I have in my life I was like going
00:21through it I was like oh my gosh like we can't talk anymore and that's kind of painful that's
00:28basically what it's about just about those feelings and going through that really
00:32I miss that kind of misery the kind where you were nice to me but only in the evening so
00:38I ask am I
00:39just streaming you know obviously it's like oh why would you miss misery but you have to remember
00:43they're nice to me only in the evening though and in the evening when I said the evening I thought
00:47hey that's kind of symbolic like the evening like maybe at night maybe when other people aren't
00:51around maybe when I'm only feeling bad you know and I'm only depressed and then you feel like you
00:55have to be nice to me it creates the juxtaposition very quickly in the first like chorus and that's
01:00just like the that's the conflict you know I love you so much that it's dripping dripping from my arms
01:07and such I'm sorry I know I'm too much to love to trust I'm nothing but I'm that kind of
01:12imagery with
01:12the dripping from my arms and such I thought it rhymed first of all I need something to rhyme
01:16and also I was like I don't want to be too blunt and just outright say it like I kind
01:21of want it to
01:21be implied and be something you can visualize more and then also like maybe it's subtle enough that
01:26people won't directly clock it unless they're they're that kind of person it was meaningful to
01:31me and I thought this is an okay way to put it which obviously later I contradicting myself because
01:36I say it pretty bluntly I've been trying to do less saying and more showing in my writing
01:44you were what I could believe in since I have nobody else I keep screaming I keep breathing
01:49it's the living I can't help the person who this song is about it's pretty much the only person
01:54in my life I feel like I can truly trust when you're living like that and you're living in a
01:59constant like seeking for the next breath that you can inhale just to like like I imagined it like
02:04someone just gasping for air and trying to breathe because that's how it feels it's just like this
02:08sense of helplessness some people might say it's uh self-imposed but I think some people just uh
02:14get a little unluckier when it comes to social life than others it's the misery because you can
02:19tell me how much that you care and I know it's true but yeah you need to get me out
02:24your hair
02:25I know you care about me like I know you love me like I know you love me bro but
02:31you still trying
02:32to act like you don't love me and I know you love me I don't know you know what I
02:35mean but like we
02:36can't really be talking because I mean we can't be talking but sometimes it just gets so intense
02:41you know so it's kind of like it's kind of like that and then that's what creates the misery because
02:44it's like again the conflict of interest is what we have special what's that mean why can't you choose
02:50me is it greed this isn't lust no fairy dust it's fun it's what you see I know that some
02:54people say
02:55like when you have those intense feelings oh you can't have intense feelings for someone like that
02:58and it not be something based in lust or like you're just being delusional but like no like I'm serious
03:03it's like everything I see and everything I've done and everything in the way I care and everything
03:06how I feel that's genuinely 100% how I feel that's not me putting on an act that's not me
03:11being
03:11delusional no no no no no I'm not being delusional like it's for real how I feel and I thought
03:16that also
03:17did like a good visual because when I thought about that about that I thought of like Tinkerbell
03:20in the movies and now she kind of sprays her little fairy dust and she can get a little jealous
03:24and that was like I thought that was cute in my head misery and knowing I love you and had
03:29to leave
03:29the misery that I can't shake the misery I bleed so when I said the misery I bleed actually when
03:36I
03:36recorded it the first line that I had written was the misery I breathe but then I was like hold
03:42up
03:42I should have said bleed instead because that goes back to what I said in the verse and references it
03:46and then you pull together the visualization
03:49first to feel the kind of misery the kind where you are nice to me but only in the evening
03:55so I
03:55ask am I just dreaming how to heal the kind of misery the kind where you are nice to me
04:01but only in
04:02the evening so I ask am I just dreaming when I write my songs I don't think of them in
04:07terms of chorus
04:08verse or anything I just kind of sing whatever I'm gonna sing and usually I have a hook and then
04:13I
04:14write the rest of how I feel around the hook when I wrote that I think I was thinking like
04:17I want to
04:18show that like I'm also wanting to heal it you know like I don't want to feel that way
04:24because I know that you care because I swear it ain't fair I'll slim my wrist and show you I'll
04:33dare
04:34to do anything I love you I love you with everything yeah that part of the song was definitely like
04:41a
04:41break point and I and I like I think I said I freestyled that part of the song because I
04:46was
04:46like yo I can't just repeat this bridge again I gotta put something else in here so while I was
04:50singing I just started singing what I felt and then I was like hey that ended up rhyming that
04:53sounded good and I like got to like a really high point with the vocals and like really strong
04:57it is very blunt which kind of you know it's like oh no more visualization we know exactly what
05:03I'm talking about now and I think it kind of is like desperate like the I love you I love
05:07you
05:08like it's like a it's just a desperation and that's just how I how I felt because I feel like
05:12the rest of the song is kind of like a like oh I'm just talking I'm just telling you but
05:17then it's
05:17like there it's like it's bubbling up and that's how I feel and I'm also a big fan of like
05:21when songs
05:21have like a really big build up and then I I know it talks a lot about things that are
05:27very like
05:28sensitive subjects those are all things that I've been through myself at least having some place where
05:33you feel like someone understands me can sometimes make it a little bit easier to not always indulge
05:40in the misery
