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00:31Good afternoon and welcome to the Countdown Studio. Here we are in Media City and all around us you can
00:36hear the sound of laughter. Why is that? Because there's a huge event happening in Greater Manchester. All around us
00:42is called Women in Comedy. The Women in Comedy Festival.
00:46And let me tell you, Rachel, it started on the 11th, goes all the way through to the 26th, the
00:51month, 80 shows featuring 125 female comedy acts at 16 different venues. Isn't that something?
01:00Brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. And if you fancy a laugh, get out there because some of the funniest women in the
01:06country are performing just for you. And we've had some wonderful laughs, Rachel, here in the studio.
01:10Because we've had some of the great comedians. We've had Joe Brand, Maureen Lipman, an actress and a comedian. And
01:17of course, Jenny Eclair, quite recently. They always make us laugh.
01:20But of course, The World Lost, one of the great comedians, not so long ago. That was, of course, Joan
01:26Rivers, passed away. Controversial. Why not?
01:28But a very, very witty lady. Had that wonderful New York Jewish sense of humour. And she'll be sorely missed.
01:35My favourite? I think I'd go for Joe Brand, because I love her.
01:39Yeah. How about you? She's brilliant. Oh, favourite? I might go for someone who's been here, but in Cat Stars
01:46Countdown. Sarah Millican.
01:48She's fun. She's a lovely lady as well. Yeah? Yeah, she's local to up here. She's got pussycats. Just very
01:53nice and very funny.
01:54Good for her. I've not met her, but she has that show. What's it called?
01:58The Sarah Millican TV programme. Is that what it is?
02:01That lovely title is that. All right. Now, who have we got here? We've got Johnny Rye is back.
02:07Two wins under his belt, winning with a score of 101 yesterday. Well done.
02:10Student from Loughborough. Politics and French are his subjects at Southampton.
02:15And I'm sure you'll be delighted to know that Rachel is wearing your team's colours.
02:21Yes. Lester, look what she's done for you, Johnny. So are you.
02:24We're teaming up. Didn't, um, what's his name, play for Leicester in the early days?
02:30Lineker. He was a Leicester City chap. He's from Leicester, isn't he?
02:34Yep. Yeah. Anyway, enough about Mr. Lineker. What about George Ford? That's much more important.
02:40He's here, a sixth-form student from Whittlesea near Peterborough. Loves anything to do with maths.
02:45I think Pi was your favourite, uh, your favourite film. Yeah, yeah.
02:49All about maths, of course. And what do you hope to do? You want to do a maths degree and
02:53then?
02:53Um, just stay in maths education for a while, try and get a master's and then see where it goes
02:58from there.
02:58Good for you. Well, I expect to see you testing Rachel all during, uh, today's programme.
03:04And good luck to you both. Big round of applause then for Johnny Ryan, George Ford.
03:09APPLAUSE
03:14And, in the corner of Susie, you have a favourite comedian?
03:18Uh, well, yes, I'm with you. It'd have to be Jo Brown, but also JC Long is very, very funny.
03:24Yes, indeed.
03:24And from the younger comedians. She plays at the Blackheart in Camden. She's very, very funny.
03:28Very good. All right, you're joined once again by the wonderful Dave Myers, TV presenter, hairy biker, not a professional
03:35chef, more a lifelong foodie, I guess.
03:38Mmm, almost a good cook.
03:40A good cook. And we'll hear more from you a little bit later on, but now it's time to get
03:44down to business with Johnny Rye.
03:46Johnny, let us go.
03:48Hi, Rachel.
03:49Hi, Johnny.
03:49Can I have a consonant, please?
03:50You can, thank you. Start today with D.
03:53And another consonant.
03:55M.
03:56And a third.
03:58R.
04:00And a vowel.
04:02U.
04:03And another vowel.
04:05E.
04:06And a third.
04:08O.
04:09And a consonant.
04:11T.
04:13And another consonant.
04:15G.
04:16And a final vowel, please.
04:19And a final E.
04:21And here's the countdown clock.
04:24R.
04:24R.
04:25R.
04:25R.
04:49MUSIC CONTINUES
04:53Well, Johnny?
04:54Seven.
04:55How about George?
04:56Seven as well.
04:58Johnny?
04:58Tongued.
05:00And George?
05:01Undergo.
05:02Undergo.
05:03Very good, yes.
05:04Excellent.
05:05Two neat ones.
05:06What has the corner got to offer?
05:08We've got another seven.
05:09Grunted.
05:10Thank you, Dave.
05:13Anything from Susie?
05:14No, we couldn't get beyond seven, I'm afraid.
05:19Grunted, indeed.
05:20Seven points apiece.
05:21George?
05:22Letters game.
05:23Hi, Richard.
05:24Can I have a consonant, please?
05:25Thank you, George.
05:27S.
05:27And another.
05:29M.
05:30And a vowel, please.
05:33A.
05:34And another.
05:36I.
05:37And another.
05:39E.
05:40And a consonant, please.
05:42L.
05:43And another.
05:45R.
05:47And a vowel, please.
05:50A.
05:51And a consonant, please.
05:53And lastly, N.
05:55Countdown.
05:57And a vowel, please.
06:01And a vowel, please.
06:01And a vowel, please.
06:07And a vowel, please.
06:07And a vowel, please.
06:09And a vowel, please.
06:10And a vowel, please.
06:11And a vowel, please.
06:11And a vowel, please.
06:11And a vowel, please.
06:11And a vowel, please.
06:12And a vowel, please.
06:13And a vowel, please.
06:14And a vowel, please.
06:16And a vowel, please.
06:18And a vowel, please.
06:26Well, George?
06:28Um, a seven.
06:29Yes, Johnny?
06:30Eight.
06:31So, George?
06:32Mariners.
06:33Mariners and?
06:34Minerals.
06:36Minerals.
06:37Minerals, well done.
06:43Mariners, yeah.
06:45So, Dave?
06:46Um, we've got a seven, really.
06:49Manlier.
06:50Yes.
06:51Following Grunty.
06:53Yes, grunting Manlier.
06:55In a manlier sort of way.
06:57Susie?
06:57If you turn that around a little bit, you can have Marline, the nautical rope.
07:01A Marline?
07:02Marline.
07:0415 points to George's seven, and we're back with Johnny for a numbers game.
07:08Johnny?
07:09Can I have one large and five small again, please, Rachel?
07:11Your usual, thank you, Johnny.
07:13One from the top row, five from the other ones.
07:15And for the first numbers game today, the selection is five, ten, three, six, another ten, and fifty.
07:25And the target, two hundred and thirteen.
07:27Two, one, three.
07:28Three.
07:28Three.
07:30Three.
07:31Three.
07:41Four.
07:49Five.
07:58well Johnny two one three two one three and George two one three thank you
08:03Johnny 50 minus 10 50 minus 10 40 times 5 times 5 200 plus 10 plus 3 and then
08:13the other 10 213 lovely now then George Ford um I went differently I did 10
08:18minus 6 is 4 yep times by the 50 for 200 200 and then the 10 and the three
08:24well done
08:27well done 25 plays 17 but let's have a tea time teaser
08:36which is am parent and the clue you don't need to be a parent to show how much
08:41you love your son you don't need to be a parent to show how much you love your
09:01son
09:03welcome back I left you with a clue you don't need to be a parent to show how
09:07much you love your son and the answer is permittan cryptically permittan 25 plays
09:14that George is 17 George letters for you a vowel please Rachel thank you George e and
09:22another hey and a consonant please V and another T and a third L and another please
09:38V and another vowel please and the last one a standby
09:52stand by
09:53now
10:01THE END
10:02THE END
10:33THE END
10:34How are you spelling it?
10:34G-A-V-E-R-N-A
10:36Absolutely fine. Yep, very good.
10:38That's all I heard. So what else have you got there, Dave?
10:41We managed to squeeze an eight. Relevant.
10:44Relevant, very good. Susie?
10:46Yes, relevant for eight and eternal for seven.
10:48Thank you very much.
10:50OK, Johnny, you're back with the letters game.
10:54Can I have a consonant, please, Rachel?
10:55Thank you, Johnny.
10:56G?
10:56Can I have another consonant?
10:59D
11:00And a third.
11:02T
11:03And a vowel.
11:05E
11:06And another vowel.
11:08A
11:08And another vowel.
11:10I
11:11And a consonant.
11:13D
11:19And a final consonant, please.
11:22And a final S.
11:24Stand by.
11:25And a vowel.
11:45And a vowel.
11:46And a vowel.
11:46And a vowel.
11:46And a vowel.
11:46And a vowel.
11:55well Johnny nothing nothing that's a turn up for the books George I'll go with a risky seven
12:05we don't need to be risky anymore what is it George adjusted I just is excellent yes it's a
12:12good old-fashioned countdown word it used to mean and probably still does to take in livestock in
12:17return for payment so to look after somebody else's animals basically yeah excellent very good now then
12:23Dave did just for a six we've got staged staged Susie yeah I just did was as to yeah well
12:30done
12:30George well done indeed does the world for your score as well you're still behind but only by one
12:35point 32 plays say you're 31 and it's numbers time George I'm crowd four from the top please
12:42Rachel you can thank you George for big ones changing up and two little ones and this time
12:48the little ones are two and eight and as we know the big ones 125 75 and 50 and the
12:57target 318 318
13:30now and George yep 318 Johnny 318 not written down
13:35so Johnny 75 over 25 is 375 over 25 3 plus 50 plus 50 53 8 minus 2 is 6
13:45yep and times them together
13:47well done 318 very good George I went slightly differently I did 100 times 75 100 times 75
13:55is 7500 and then 50 times 8 is 400 50 times 8 400 add the two together for 7900 7900
14:04divided by 25 and then
14:20well done 32 plays 41 but now let's turn to to Dave and you've had a great career really because
14:28you were in the makeup business and you went into the uh I guess cooking and writing and the rest
14:33of it but
14:33you started off actually as a fine art student and then you got a master's I think yeah yeah I
14:39was very
14:40very lucky at school um I said went went to a local grammar school and our art teacher was an
14:45amazing
14:45man gentleman called uh Philip Eaton he's passed away sadly but he was one of those teachers who
14:51changes your lives you know you you you grow up with no boundaries and I did indeed go to art
14:57school
14:58um my dad worked in a paper mill so really the one toy I had in abundance was paper and
15:04I did a foundation
15:05course and I went to Goldsmiths and did a degree in fine art uh which is you know it was
15:10just pre
15:10Damien Hirst and and that's that era it's a very interesting place to be but my art was always very
15:16kind of old-fashioned I used to paint with egg tempera you know for the egg yolk and walker at
15:21water and
15:21rock pigments and I'd I'd make my own gesso panels out of plaster a real rabbit skin glue and whiting
15:27and
15:27and it was it was lovely you know I did did exhibit and they used to sell paintings but I
15:32applied after
15:33art school I applied for two jobs one was a trainee restorer at the National Gallery working in their
15:39picture frame department and the same week I applied for a trainee makeup artist at the BBC you know how
15:44your life takes a different course yeah I remember I had my interview at the BBC and and there was
15:50somebody there was taking me from one building to the other this was the old television centre it's quite a
15:54magical place and I said what's it like working here so it's great she said I said what you're doing
16:00now she well I'm just off to film with the two Ronnies on the Canberra for six weeks in the
16:04West
16:04Indies I thought hmm we'll give that one a go there and what was your first makeup job was it
16:11Blake
16:11seven yes my very first makeup job and it came in as just on my rotor and it was Blake
16:16seven and it
16:18was an episode that Roy Kinnear was in I was very much very junior in the department and part of
16:23my job
16:23was making up a band of aliens on holiday in outer space I say with Roy Kinnear was like it
16:28was the
16:29caterpillar leading alien wonderful but it really was that the spaceship in those days it was fabricated
16:36from tinfoil roasting tins but we all believed it excellent and here you are enthralling us on
16:42the countdown thank you very much Dave thank you all right now then 42 plays George's 41
16:47Johnny's point in the lead letters came for you Johnny can have a consonant please Rachel thank you Johnny
16:55T can have another consonant P and another T can have a vowel E and another O and another A
17:09consonant S and a final vowel please and a final O countdown
17:21one
17:26well
17:52Well, Johnny?
17:53This is six.
17:54Six? Yes, George?
17:55Seven.
17:56Seven.
17:56So, Johnny?
17:57Petals.
17:59Petals and...?
18:00Apostle.
18:01Apostle.
18:02Very good.
18:03Very good.
18:04Now then, what have we got in the corner, Susie?
18:07Dave?
18:08We've got an eight.
18:09We have.
18:10Potatoes.
18:11Potatoes.
18:11Look at that.
18:12Spuds are in there.
18:16And, anything else?
18:18A couple of sevens, otherwise.
18:20Yeah, we've got teapots for seven.
18:23Yes.
18:23Pootles.
18:24Pootles?
18:25Pootles.
18:26Pootling about.
18:27O to pootle.
18:29Yeah.
18:30I love that word.
18:30Not advising, really.
18:3142 to George's 48, my word.
18:35And George is back on.
18:37Letters.
18:38Grab a consonant, please.
18:39Thank you, George.
18:40V.
18:41And another.
18:43T.
18:44And another.
18:46W.
18:47And another.
18:50N.
18:51And a vowel, please.
18:52A.
18:54A.
18:54And another.
18:55O.
18:56And a third.
18:58E.
19:00And a consonant.
19:02K.
19:03And another vowel.
19:05And lastly, O.
19:08Done.
19:09Bye.
19:09.
19:39well George six a six Johnny six George no fate no they yes awoken awoken
19:48excellent the legal term when you substitute an old contract with a new
19:53one and and I working also good yeah Dave that was it really just token for
20:00five very good 48 page George is 54 as we go into a numbers game for Johnny I'm
20:07gonna change things up can I try three large and three small please you can
20:10indeed thank you Johnny three from the top this time and three little ones and
20:15this round is seven nine five and then a large three one hundred fifty and seventy
20:22five and the target nine hundred and thirty five nine three five
20:58well Johnny nine three five not written down and George nine three five so Johnny a
21:04hundred times nine one hundred times nine nine hundred seventy five over five
21:10seventy five over five fifteen fifty minus fifteen thirty five and add it on
21:16perfect nine three five all done thank you George I started off the same but I did
21:21seven times five for the thirty five uh yeah
21:32kind of you Johnny to go to all that trouble really and I think about it 64
21:37please Johnny 58 let's have a tea time teaser token ban and the clue think number
21:43ten think brown think number ten think brown
21:47think number ten think brown
22:03welcome back warm welcome back and through the clue think number ten think brown and the answer is banknote
22:09banknote banknote 58 to 64 George in charge at the moment and George is back on
22:15have a letters game George I'm cover constant please Rachel thank you George n and
22:21another s and a vowel please you and a consonant f and another consonant s and a vowel please e
22:37and a consonant
22:40are and another vowel I and a consonant please and the last one c countdown
22:51is
22:51is
22:51is
22:51is
23:19is
23:19is
23:22is
23:26is
23:28is
23:28is
23:28is
23:29A fissure.
23:30Fissure, yes, a crack.
23:32Very good.
23:34Two good ones, and what are the corner?
23:36Dave?
23:37Just infusers for eight.
23:39Put the R on it.
23:41You can have an infuser.
23:42Well done.
23:43Suzy?
23:43That was our best, Nick.
23:45Well done.
23:4571 plays Johnny's 65.
23:48Johnny's back on.
23:49Letters game.
23:50Can I have a consonant, please, Rachel?
23:51Thank you, Johnny.
23:52W.
23:53Can I have another consonant?
23:56H.
23:57And another?
23:59G.
24:00And a vowel?
24:01A.
24:02And another?
24:04E.
24:05And another?
24:06A.
24:07And a consonant?
24:09Y.
24:10And another?
24:12D.
24:14And a final consonant, please.
24:16And a final S.
24:18And here's the countdown clock.
24:19And a팝 clock.
24:20The countdown clock.
24:48And then the键 clock.
24:50Yes, Johnny?
24:51I'll try an eight.
24:53An eight, George?
24:54I'll try a seven.
24:57And your seven?
24:59Wash day.
25:00Wash day. Now then, Johnny.
25:03Headways?
25:06Wash day is absolutely fine. It is all one word.
25:09I was really hoping you weren't going to say headways,
25:11because I was just debating that myself.
25:13But unfortunately, the dictionary does say mass noun.
25:16There is a second definition, which is the interval between trains or buses on a regular service,
25:21but it doesn't say that that is a count noun,
25:23and so I think the same rule applies, unfortunately.
25:26Sorry, Johnny.
25:27Oh, bad luck.
25:28Sorry.
25:28Bad luck, Johnny.
25:30That's a groan from the audience there, particularly from Johnny's mum and Dave.
25:35Over the same, wash day and headway.
25:37Very good. Susie?
25:38Sorry, Johnny's mum, that's all I can say.
25:41All right, 78 plays, 65.
25:43Now then, oh, it's time for Susie.
25:46Susie, you have the wonderful audience of words.
25:48Now then, Susie, what have you got for us?
25:50Well, it's a bit early, Nick, but I'm going to talk about splicing the main brace,
25:54which is something that we might do at the end of a hard day's work.
25:59You might splice the main brace and have a stiff drink.
26:03But why do we say that?
26:04The expression comes from a comparison between the reviving effect, if you like,
26:08of a stiff drink and the repair of the main brace on board a ship,
26:12and the main brace is the rope for holding or turning one of the sails.
26:17And within the Royal Navy, it was a pretty rare event to have to do this,
26:20but it was also quite a tricky one.
26:21So the sailors might be rewarded with an extra tot of rum if they were lucky.
26:25And again, if they were lucky, they wouldn't have had Admiral Edward Vernon as their boss,
26:31because he was the first to order diluted rum for his sailors.
26:35He wore a grogram cloak, grogram being a very coarse cloth,
26:41and eventually he became known as Old Grog,
26:43and that is where, over time, grog became the rum itself or the drink.
26:49There was one bright side, because the rum he ordered was also served with lemon or lime juice,
26:53which was part of the diluting effect,
26:55but that could have saved his men from the scurvy that was so often suffered
26:58due to a lack of vitamin C on the high seas.
27:00And as I've mentioned before, that is why British sailors became known as limeys.
27:05There's a couple more drinking terms.
27:08To have one over the eight is to have had more than eight pints, i.e. a whole gallon,
27:12so that's a pretty excessive intake of alcohol.
27:15Enough to make you go on the wagon,
27:16and that harks back to water carts and wagons,
27:19which carried water in the US in the 1900s.
27:22And anybody who was abstaining from alcohol, the teetotalers,
27:25would flock to the wagons, they'd clenched their thirst,
27:28and also sometimes had to sign a pledge stating that they were on the water wagon.
27:32Very good. Well done.
27:34Thank you, Susie.
27:38Thank you, Susie.
27:41Now, letters game, penultimate letters game for George.
27:45Hi, Rachel. Can I have a consonant, please?
27:46Thank you, George.
27:47D.
27:47And another.
27:51R.
27:52And a third.
27:53P.
27:55And a fourth.
27:58B.
27:59And a vowel.
28:01I.
28:02And another vowel.
28:04O.
28:05And a third.
28:08E.
28:09And a consonant.
28:12S.
28:13And a final consonant, please.
28:17And a final C.
28:19Countdown.
28:21And a continuing Microwぇ.
28:23And a fourth.
28:23And a third.
28:28A estás.
28:32Guaatos.
28:32And a fourth.
28:33And a second.
28:37You.
28:37And then.
28:49And a third.
28:50And a third.
28:50George? A seven. A seven. Johnny? Just a six. And that six? Priced. Priced and George? Copiers. Copiers. Very good.
29:01Not bad. Increasing now. 85 to 65. 20 points ahead. Dave?
29:07We've got a couple of sevens. We've got periods. Yes. And corpsed. Corpsed. Corpsed. When an actor laughs when they
29:15sort of collapse. Yeah. Comes from actors who were trying to be dead bodies on stage. Corpsing. Very funny. All
29:25right. So 85 plays Johnny's 65. And it's Johnny back on with the final letters game for today. Can I
29:33have a consonant please, Rachel? Thank you, Johnny. R.
29:36And another. S. And a third. L. And a vowel. O. And another. E. And a third. I. And a
29:50consonant. X. And another. T. And a final vowel please. And a final E. And here's the clock.
30:34Yes, Johnny?
30:35A seven. A seven. A seven. George? A seven as well.
30:39Two sevens. Johnny? Toilers. And George?
30:42Loiters. And loiters. Any advances there, Dave?
30:47That's the same. Yep. Same here.
30:49Exactly our two. All right.
30:51All right. So 92 plays 72 as we go into the final numbers game. And it's for George. I'm going
30:57to hopefully play it safe with one large, please.
30:59Okay. Thank you, George. One large and five small. A tactical choice, I feel. Right. For the last time today,
31:06the numbers are four, one, eight, five, two, and 25. And you'll hopefully save target.
31:14Eight hundred and forty-nine. Eight four, nine.
31:17Eight hundred and five.
31:18Eight hundred and five.
31:21Eight hundred and five.
31:33Eight hundred and five.
31:36Eight hundred and five.
31:38Eight hundred and five.
31:40Eight hundred and five.
31:42Eight hundred and five.
31:43Eight hundred and five.
31:45Eight hundred and five.
31:46Eight hundred and five.
31:46Eight hundred and five.
31:47Well, George?
31:49849.
31:50Johnny?
31:51849.
31:52Tell me about it, George.
31:538 times 5 is 40.
31:558 fives are 40.
31:56Take the 4 and the 2 for 34.
31:5934.
32:00And times by 25 for...
32:02And then take the 1.
32:03Well done. 849.
32:05Johnny?
32:06Slightly different. 8 times 4.
32:088 times 4 is 32.
32:09Plus 2.
32:104 of the 34 again.
32:12Times 25.
32:13Again, 850.
32:13Minus 1.
32:14And again, another 10 points. Well done.
32:15Well done.
32:17Very good.
32:22Two good countdown competitors
32:25as we go into the final round,
32:27the conundrum round.
32:28So, Johnny and George,
32:30fingers on buzzers,
32:31please let's reveal today's
32:32countdown conundrum.
32:51Johnny?
32:52Paintwork.
32:54Paintwork.
32:55Let's see whether you're right.
32:55Well done.
32:58Well done.
32:58Good man.
33:04Well done.
33:06But George, young George Ford takes the day,
33:10but Johnny, a very good competitor.
33:12Thanks.
33:12Will you take this teapot and a goodie bag...
33:14I'd love to.
33:15...back to Southampton?
33:17George Ford, well done.
33:19See you tomorrow.
33:19Now then, before you go,
33:21are you in the harness yet for your appearance in Panto?
33:26Who will you be and where will you be?
33:28Oh, it's another first, Nick.
33:30Another couple of weeks and I'll start rehearsing Cinderella
33:33in the Hexagon Theatre, Reading,
33:35and I'm barren hard up.
33:37And what do you have to do for that then?
33:39I'm not quite sure yet,
33:40but I think I've got two ugly sisters and Cinderella
33:42and, you know, I'm the dad, really.
33:44It'll be good fun.
33:45And you'll have prosthetics,
33:46a big nose and Lord knows what else.
33:48Oh, no.
33:49No, a bit of rouge and that's it, really.
33:51They'll just look a bit corpulent and drunk, really.
33:54So it's Christmas.
33:55It'll be fun.
33:56Who's the fairy godmother?
33:57Lisa Goddard.
33:58Lisa Goddard.
33:59Oh, that's nice.
34:00Excellent stuff.
34:01Well, we'll all come down to Reading to see you.
34:02Thanks, Nick.
34:03Look forward to it.
34:04See you tomorrow.
34:04See you tomorrow.
34:05See you tomorrow, Susie and Rachel.
34:07See you tomorrow.
34:08You ever fancied being an ugly sister?
34:11Well, that would be very easy for me.
34:13Well, thank you for that suggestion.
34:14I should give you that great thought.
34:15We shall see you tomorrow.
34:16We'll leave that with Dave.
34:17Word in.
34:18Same time tomorrow, same place.
34:20You'll be sure of it.
34:21A very good afternoon.
34:23Contact us by email at
34:25Countdown at Channel4.com
34:27By Twitter at
34:28C4Countdown
34:29Or write to us at
34:30Countdown Leeds LS3 1JS
34:33You can also find our webpage at
34:35Channel4.com forward slash countdown
34:39How can an old private jet get turned into an amazing maze?
34:44George Clark's brand new series later at 8.
34:47Next up, the questions could scare you,
34:49but not this lot.
34:50It's 15 to 1.