- 22 hours ago
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00:20Oh, there we go.
00:23I can't have a minute, peace.
00:26Iris.
00:30Where are you?
00:31I'm here.
00:31Where are you?
00:33What do you mean you're here?
00:35I'm in the middle of a lake.
00:38Drop me a pen.
00:39Drop me a pen.
00:41What's he doing?
00:43He says he's in the boat.
00:54What the...
01:05Have you caught anything?
01:07Where the hell did you get a submarine from in Switzerland?
01:11It's landlocked.
01:15Right.
01:17So was in.
01:21Good throw pad.
01:23Hands Peter.
01:24To port please.
01:37Me and Chris have test driven cars all around the world together.
01:41Have you missed me?
01:42I thought I had.
01:43And now we're going back behind the wheel.
01:46If you're going to do that, drop a window and it's dealt with.
01:48I'm not farting.
01:51I've hit the big 5-0 and it's coming for Chris too.
01:55I'm not giving up.
01:57But instead of getting weird about it...
01:59What are you doing?
02:01We've decided to tackle getting older head on.
02:04Oh!
02:08So we're visiting some of our European neighbours.
02:11Cheers.
02:15To see if any of them can let us in on the secret.
02:18Hello chaps.
02:19Hello.
02:20That's it Chris.
02:23I can't hold on.
02:25To living healthier, happier and longer lives.
02:28You are a changed man.
02:30I'm so proud of you.
02:31Nearly there Chris.
02:32Come on son.
02:38Let's go.
02:41Let's go.
02:46Mountains round here are absolutely stunning.
02:50Look at it.
02:51Magnificent.
02:57We've already visited two countries looking for the recipe to getting it right as we age.
03:02And this is our final stop.
03:04Switzerland.
03:11The wellness industry is big here.
03:14Sweden.
03:15Getting out and about.
03:17Using your body.
03:18Greece.
03:18Putting good things into your body.
03:20Switzerland.
03:21This is the capital of the cheat.
03:23This is the shortcut.
03:23Come here.
03:25Pay a load of booner.
03:26And they'll make you look good and they'll make you feel great.
03:28I have heard people shout that at you.
03:34I don't think it was shortcut.
03:36It's something else.
03:40Behind Switzerland's rustic charm sits a multi-billion pound wellness industry.
03:45Which combines cutting edge science with luxury treatments.
03:51And for two balding middle-aged men eager to fight back the years.
03:56A scientific route might be the best approach.
04:00Which old do you feel?
04:03I can't put an age on it, but much older.
04:05Things have changed.
04:06For example, I now realise there was a point in my life when you make involuntary noises.
04:11Yeah.
04:12Like when you put a shoe on or a wellington boot and you go...
04:17But, that's a big point in life.
04:21And I think it started a long time ago for me.
04:23Obviously, we love a car.
04:26And when it comes to MOTs and stuff like that, you know, you're on it.
04:30We neglect the best engine you've got, which is this, what we're in.
04:36This should be running like a sports car.
04:39And we don't treat them like that, do we?
04:41I've never, ever described myself as that.
04:43Good point, Chris.
04:44Well, even if you're driving a knackered old transit van, you need to look after it.
04:50So, for our first stop, we're heading to one of the country's top wellness destinations
04:55to get a full body health check.
04:57To see how bad it really is.
05:07This is the Grand Resort Bad Regas.
05:10A five-star wellness hotel offering over 40 medical treatments to make you look and feel younger.
05:18This place is like catnip to the rich and famous.
05:23Look at this gun, Chris.
05:26Oh, this is proper.
05:28Look at this.
05:29It's like in a film pad.
05:32Everything's gonna be alright.
05:34That's what it says above it.
05:36I mean, I think they're over-promising, aren't they?
05:39What makes this resort so special is their medical and scientific approach to wellbeing.
05:46Think more hospital than hotel.
05:49On site, there are 23 doctors, a state-of-the-art spa and an Olympic training facility.
05:56I'm normally happy enough with free Wi-Fi and a Troza press.
06:01Look at this pad.
06:02Beautiful.
06:03This is a bit of you.
06:05Look at this.
06:07Hello there.
06:08Hi, welcome, gentlemen, to the hotel.
06:10Thank you very much.
06:11May I start you off with some welcome drinks?
06:13You certainly can.
06:14Look at that.
06:14We have a detox and a multivitamin juice.
06:17Good health.
06:20Maybe this health check thing isn't gonna be that bad.
06:23And then I believe you're starting out with the doctor's appointment today?
06:27Or maybe it will.
06:31Do you know what, I hate doctors.
06:33It's better than ringing up and waiting four weeks for an appointment, isn't it?
06:36It's still gonna stick his fingers inside you.
06:39Well, I'm not sure what doctors you've seen.
06:44We might be 50, but today we're gonna find out how well we're really ageing
06:49and what, if anything, we can do to turn back the clock.
06:54Like many of the guests here, our first stop is to see Dr Isabel DeCurtins.
07:01DeCurtins?
07:02The name doesn't exactly inspire confidence.
07:05I've been dreading this moment.
07:07I hate doctors because I'm gonna get the truth, aren't I?
07:10It could be bad news.
07:13Pull yourself together, Chris.
07:14Nice to meet you.
07:15Hi there, Paddy.
07:16Dr DeCurtins MD is a specialist in preventative and internal medicine.
07:24So, nice to see you here at Bad Ragaz.
07:26It's very different to the doctor's surgery where we live.
07:30We have a very holistic approach, and that's why we look at everything today.
07:34We look at your nutrition, at your exercise,
07:37and then we make a final conclusion on how to get you to be an athlete.
07:41Okay.
07:41Oh, wow.
07:42I'm not an athlete. I can't speak for him, but I'm not an athlete.
07:46I don't think that's come as any surprise to the doctor, if I'm like this.
07:50You've got a psychologist I can see afterwards.
07:53Talk us through it, doctor.
07:55Okay, I have a couple of questions for you.
07:57First, do you take care of your nutrition?
07:59No.
08:01So, next, what is about vegetables and fruits?
08:05How many fruits do you eat a day?
08:09What?
08:12Ah.
08:13When a doctor starts asking you stuff, like the vegetables and fruit, you're going,
08:18oh, actually, no, I couldn't think about it. I don't really do a lot of that.
08:23So, what about exercise?
08:25You work out?
08:26Yeah, I try and do something most days.
08:29Mm-hmm. What about you?
08:31No.
08:32Our stories, you know, are quite divergent. He does look after himself.
08:36I'm now doing that thing that all blokes do. Why didn't I do this ten years ago?
08:41Do you drink alcohol?
08:43Oh, yes.
08:44Do you drink?
08:46I've been known to drink a bit.
08:49Mm-hmm. And what?
08:51Whiskey.
08:53One glass, two glasses.
08:57Five.
08:58All right, we'll see.
09:00You're probably better off writing in bottles.
09:02Mm-hmm.
09:03As opposed to glasses.
09:05Oh, God.
09:07So, that was the easy part, I would say.
09:10Now we're doing the fitness test, and you just have to give everything you can.
09:19Having grilled us on our health, the doc has sent us to the hotel's very own Olympic training facility to
09:26test our fitness.
09:27Let's come in.
09:28OK.
09:28We're going to run you through a couple of exercise tests.
09:31We have the endurance test here, and over there, we're going to do the strength testing.
09:36Before the ab crunching, it's time for some number crunching.
09:39Let's see the real state of our figures.
09:4287.9.
09:45So, what's your guess?
09:47Ah, it's more than that.
09:50Moment of truth.
09:52Is that one of them speaking ones?
09:54Get off me!
09:5585.6.
09:56Great.
09:56How is that possible?
09:58Look at the sizing.
10:00How can...
10:01I don't know.
10:02I think I've breathed in.
10:05So out of my comfort zone, from the moment I was in the door, my brain's gone to, I can't
10:11do this.
10:12Good, Chris, I think you can come over here.
10:14But being an Olympic training facility, I think they're used to working with a different kind of athlete.
10:20Younger, lighter, stronger, and above all, a smoother.
10:28Matthias, step... This needs a delicate hand.
10:33Just round the...
10:34Just round the left side.
10:36I'm actually...
10:37What's his body sculpting now?
10:38What are you doing?
10:39I'm giving you a chest.
10:40Mate!
10:41Who's that, Doctor?
10:42A little bit that way.
10:43No!
10:43Just there.
10:45It's enough.
10:46Are you sure I knocked down the...
10:47No!
10:48No, okay.
10:48My God.
10:49Get that on eBay.
10:51The petrolheads will be going mad for that.
10:54We'll save that.
10:55Good luck.
10:57I mean, this is a disaster.
11:01How am I supposed to go on the other day now?
11:04Listen, too many since that test, you'll have forgotten all about that shift, Jess.
11:10Okay.
11:11One, two, and go.
11:12Push, push, push, push.
11:13To make sure the tests are accurate, we've been asked to push our bodies to the limit.
11:18Push, push, push, push, push, push.
11:19Come on.
11:20And pull, pull, pull, pull, pull.
11:21And come on.
11:21Push, push, push, push, push, push, push, push.
11:23And considering I'm sweating already, this shouldn't take long.
11:27Please breathe in maximum.
11:29These tests have been designed to measure the amount of oxygen in our blood and muscle strength.
11:35Two key factors in determining if we're ageing well.
11:38Push, push, push.
11:39And...
11:40Well done.
11:42All we need now, a training montage.
11:47Go on, go on, go on.
11:50Keep breathing and as fast as necessary.
11:54Though with Eris, it's more stocky than rocky.
11:56Push, push, push, push, push, push.
12:00And one more time.
12:03One, two, and jump.
12:05Come on.
12:08Breathe in maximum.
12:11And breathe normal.
12:13Go, go on, paddling.
12:15Go on the paddling.
12:16Go on, go on.
12:18Quite a little bit, yes.
12:23Go on, go on, go on.
12:29I'm getting tired now, though.
12:36Bravo, Chris.
12:37You did well.
12:41My God.
12:43Thank you, Sean.
12:44I'm gonna go and lie down now.
12:47That separates the wheat from the chaff.
12:50Oh.
12:51My goodness me.
12:59Oh.
13:01This is lovely, innit?
13:04I'm a bit fine.
13:06Yeah.
13:07Life's about balance, and after the pain comes a bit of pampering.
13:15Hello.
13:15Hello.
13:16Good afternoon.
13:17Paddy.
13:18So, we have a couple massage.
13:22We've seen your question.
13:23Couples massage?
13:25We...
13:26Okay, we'll go.
13:27We're colleagues.
13:28Sorry.
13:28We work together, but...
13:30Is there anything we need to concentrate or anything to avoid?
13:32Can I have some earplugs?
13:33I don't have to listen to him.
13:34He has a very, very hairy back.
13:40Oh, here we go.
13:42Believe it or not, some studies say a regular massage has genuine health benefits.
13:48Oh, I need this, Chris.
13:50And can help reduce stress, anxiety, and pain.
13:54Now, this is the type of shortcut I was looking for.
14:04Oh, God.
14:05Oh, God.
14:09How are you in pain?
14:11Because she's sticking her thumb into my back.
14:15This is heaven.
14:17Heaven?
14:17Yep.
14:23You see, the thing when you work with someone like Chris,
14:25and I've worked with him for a few years now.
14:28God.
14:29If it's pleasurable, if it's lovely, if it's what people go,
14:33oh, that's nice, he will instantly dislike it.
14:37And that's just it.
14:38Once you've got your head around that, you know, you can get on with things.
14:43I'm actually getting...
14:44She's doing a Russian pressure point.
14:45She's going to kill me.
14:50What?
14:51What?
14:51Can I ask what your colleague's doing to him over there?
14:53Because he doesn't seem to be having that effect over here.
14:56He knows we're having a little massage.
14:58Yeah.
14:59You know, is it not something you put into your routine this once a week?
15:02You know, get a nice little massage.
15:04Me?
15:04No.
15:06What about in the morning?
15:07You know, part of your routine, you get up.
15:10Do you moisturise?
15:12Do I moisturise?
15:14Yeah.
15:14Do I look like I moisturise?
15:16I can do all my washing and personal hygiene with one bar of soap,
15:21because I wash my head with it, my body with it,
15:24and I don't need anything else.
15:25The thing about blocks of soap for me is,
15:29I've never seen a block of soap on a sink ever that I didn't have a pube on it.
15:33Yeah, but my...
15:33It's my soap, so they're my pubes.
15:36Yeah, but it's just not a good look, is it?
15:39But what about me is a good look?
15:41This is the...
15:41Why would you try and polish a turd?
15:43I am what I am.
15:44Maybe not, Chris, but you can definitely roll it in glitter.
16:00As if today couldn't get any more distressing,
16:03I still have to get the results of my health MOT
16:05and find out my future from Dr DeCurtens.
16:14Ah, look at this view.
16:17Eh?
16:18Listen to him.
16:20Not a care in the world.
16:22Are you worried about the outcome of this at all?
16:24Er, are we what?
16:25These results are not... I'm fairly...
16:27Chris, you need to relax some.
16:30Look at this.
16:31Someone's about to tell me I've got months to live with foodborne with you.
16:34Well, you might as well enjoy it in these gorgeous surroundings.
16:37Look at this.
16:39You know what?
16:40Little church there.
16:42Get you in there, get the funeral sorted.
16:45Gentlemen, thanks for waiting.
16:46Oh, hello, doctor.
16:48You can have your results.
16:51So, we start with the basic results for the blood.
16:55So you both have a little bit of an elevated cholesterol.
16:59It's kind of a sign of an aging.
17:01It's nothing serious, it's not harmful at the moment,
17:03it's just something you have to watch.
17:04What is very good is your blood sugar levels.
17:08They're completely normal.
17:09Your liver results are normal.
17:11Your hormone levels are very good,
17:13and also your prostate levels are very good.
17:15So you're in a good shape for a man and a good health.
17:17Petty, you have a slightly elevated testosterone.
17:26Chris, you have a slight vitamin D deficiency,
17:30which could read, sometimes you have a bad mood.
17:33It's unusual, because you don't really get in bad moods.
17:36So it's unusual to hear that.
17:38It's not that severe.
17:38It's a really happy disposition in life, so...
17:42OK.
17:44OK.
17:45Then we have the endurance test on the bike and on the treadmill.
17:50From that, we have age estimates for the metabolic age.
17:53So your metabolic age, 20 to 29.
17:5720 to 20.
17:59Mental age as well.
18:01That'd be 12.
18:04Thank you, Doctor.
18:05Yours is 60 to 65.
18:08And a little bit up.
18:10Oh.
18:1260.
18:1365.
18:14You might need glasses to read that at your age.
18:18Can I check into a different type of clinic here now
18:20and just get it done with?
18:22You can just start.
18:23This is the most depressing.
18:26It takes me 10 minutes of my life.
18:28The good thing is, it's still in the normal range
18:31and it shows that you can do a lot to improve your health.
18:33And especially, I would start with the basic endurance training,
18:36do some interval training between, especially cycling.
18:40Besides doing the sports, the endurance training,
18:42I would recommend to change your diet, improve your nutrition
18:45and you will be in a much better shape in a couple of months.
18:50Doctor, thank you very much.
18:52I'm going to get on a BMX, go down, get myself a One Direction ticket.
18:57And what else do young people do these days?
18:59I'm going to buy myself a Honda Jazz and start whinging about life.
19:02Thank you very much.
19:03Thank you so much.
19:04Thank you. Thank you, Doctor.
19:07As a parting gift, the Doctor has arranged for separate dinners
19:11which have been nutritionally designed based off our results.
19:15Right, you ready?
19:17Yeah.
19:18Three, two, one.
19:21Oh, lovely.
19:22Of course.
19:23Paddy gets a nice bit of beef.
19:26And I'm stuck with a quinoa stuffed courgette.
19:31I don't know about my nutritional needs,
19:33but this isn't doing much for my self-esteem.
19:37Actually...
19:39Er, can you blend Chrissie's?
19:42Cos you can't get...
19:43Is it?
19:44Yeah.
19:46The officer will have looked after you,
19:47to get blended up a nice bit of soup for you.
19:52I expected bad news, but I suppose
19:55we always harbour a little bit of hope
19:57that it won't be as bad as you expected, but it was worse.
20:01As you receive bad news and your mate gets good news,
20:03that doesn't help.
20:06Think about us young people.
20:14I really dislike you quite a lot now.
20:19I now know I've got to work at fixing this.
20:22I think it's small steps.
20:26I've got to eat better, do some exercise,
20:28and I've got to stay on top of it.
20:45Look at that.
20:46Beautiful.
20:46You're driving.
20:47Service with a smile.
20:48I thought I'd take Grandad out for the day.
20:50So we're heading north to Zurich.
20:53But before we get there, I need to address the elephant in the room.
20:57This was quite delicate for yesterday, this age thing.
21:01I felt your head go down a bit when she said,
21:06you were late 60s.
21:08I've had a good night of not sleeping to contemplate all of this.
21:11Obviously, it was a bit of a shock to the system.
21:13What I take from the event is I've got to sort myself out.
21:16With you, I think within two months, if you start training,
21:21you will definitely improve.
21:23Why not?
21:26I remember walking back to my room last night going,
21:29I felt a million dollars.
21:31Got undressed, caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror,
21:35came crashing back down to earth.
21:37Because I'm now looking at a 50-year-old middle-aged man.
21:43Although I have the inner body of a 20-year-old,
21:46the outside isn't holding up as well.
21:48But I've heard of somewhere that helps men
21:50with life's little insecurities.
21:54We're going to a place today.
21:57Gentlemen's Clinic.
21:59What?
21:59They do everything here.
22:01So you've got your Botox.
22:03Yep.
22:04They do the facelifts.
22:05Oh, come on!
22:06They do penis extension.
22:10What?
22:11Yep.
22:12But the one that's piqued my interest,
22:15the old...
22:17I've got a full head of hair,
22:19I just choose not to display it.
22:20What you are,
22:22is one of the worst members of society.
22:25What you are is a bald denier.
22:27You've got that bald bit there.
22:29Right.
22:29So, if you grew your hair, essentially what you'd have is,
22:33you'd be like a unicorn.
22:34You'd have this cone of hair stuck out of the front and a bald bit,
22:40and then your mane at the back.
22:43How much would you pay to have a perfect head of hair?
22:47Everything.
22:47Would you?
22:47Yeah, everything.
22:49Would you?
22:49Yeah.
22:50I'd take the house, take the kids,
22:52sorry kids,
22:53we're on the streets,
22:54but look at your dad's hair.
22:56Isn't it gorgeous?
22:59I feel a bit guilty that I've taken the piss for so long,
23:01I didn't realize it was that important to you.
23:03I hate it.
23:04You know, losing your hair,
23:05it's the biggest thing for men I think that.
23:07Yeah.
23:08It's not morning,
23:09noon and night thinking about it.
23:11Yeah.
23:11But it does,
23:12it does,
23:13you do,
23:13you do go,
23:16is it, you know,
23:17is it getting worse?
23:18Is it getting better?
23:20So I'm going to get something done today.
23:22If it worked,
23:23how quickly would you be back here?
23:25Well, I'd probably move to Switzerland.
23:37With a cosmetic clinic on almost every corner,
23:41Zurich is truly the land of the beautiful people.
23:44And it's not just women keen to look their best,
23:47from chin chiselling to Brotox,
23:50male procedures are massively on the rise.
23:55Lovely around here,
23:57very, very clean.
23:57Spotless, Pat.
23:59Beautiful.
24:00Is this the,
24:01er,
24:02the banking capital of the world?
24:04No, but there's lots of money here, Pat.
24:06Well, there's lots of money,
24:07there's lots of people that want their face off.
24:10Founded in 2014,
24:12The Gentleman's Clinic was the first in Switzerland
24:15to dedicate itself to male-only treatments.
24:18It's good to see the era of the metrosexual is here to stay.
24:23What's a metrosexual?
24:25Don't you worry about that, son.
24:27Leave that sort of thing to me and David Beckham.
24:34Hey, hey, forget the lift.
24:36Sturs.
24:37Get you to about 65 at the top of these.
24:40Get them years off you.
24:41Absolutely no need for that at all.
24:44The Gentleman's Clinic offers a wide range of treatments,
24:47from penis injections to plastic surgery.
24:50You can get it all done here.
24:53I wonder if they can do a personality transplant for Chris.
24:58Oh, these are the menus.
25:00Let's have a look what's on offer.
25:02What?
25:04Oh, dear God.
25:07That's...
25:07What's that?
25:10I didn't expect that when I walked in.
25:12We're not having that done, are we, Pat?
25:14Is that a thumb?
25:17Here we are.
25:17Hamilton Norwood scale.
25:20Right, let's find us on this scale.
25:23Right, I'm saying you are...
25:26That's you.
25:29That is exactly you.
25:32If you are ready, Giuliano is waiting.
25:35Here we go.
25:37In we go.
25:38Right.
25:40Hello there.
25:42Come on, John.
25:43Welcome, welcome.
25:43Paddy, please.
25:44Come in.
25:44Giuliano.
25:45Chris.
25:46Chris, welcome to the Gentleman's Clinic again, Chris.
25:49Welcome to the Gentleman's Clinic.
25:50What do you want to get done?
25:52We want to leave here with as thick a hair as possible.
25:57I know it's thin.
25:58I don't like sitting on the direct lights in here.
26:01No, it's not thin.
26:02What would you say it is?
26:05Imaginary.
26:10Could you take some of the hair from my back and put it on my head?
26:13He's got an extremely hairy back.
26:15We can.
26:16Wow.
26:17But we don't recommend.
26:18We do a plasma treatment, which we do to maintain hair, to increase hair density.
26:23Yeah, we'll do that, that's fine.
26:25As long as we can go about our day and it's not too invasive.
26:29No, absolutely.
26:32It might be non-surgical, but this plasma treatment
26:35does involve taking some of your blood, separating out the plasma,
26:39which is then injected back into your scalp, which apparently helps regeneration.
26:44But you have to have enough good hair for it to work.
26:49This is the moment of truth.
26:53You can already see you've got some thick ones, some very thin ones.
26:57That actually looks like the hair on a different part of his body.
27:02Now, what we cannot help you with is those red ones that you see here.
27:06The issue that we have here is we don't have the amount of hair to give you back a massive
27:13amount of volume.
27:14This is, in all honesty, the plasma treatment probably, I would say, if you want to have more hair,
27:20I wouldn't recommend the plasma treatment in this moment.
27:23I would say, look, let's do a hair transplant.
27:25Nope, not a chance.
27:27All right, go.
27:28Your turn, Pat.
27:30Come on, then.
27:32Daddy wants a perm.
27:34Can I just stop you?
27:36You're spreading it apart.
27:37Oh, I make it.
27:38Keep it what you're doing.
27:39I make it pretty again.
27:42He's going riding.
27:45Come back forward.
27:46This one will show you exactly what it's like.
27:50He's pulled the hair apart.
27:55Loads of it there, Pat.
27:56Look.
27:59The back of it.
28:00This is my concern here.
28:02This here.
28:03Why?
28:03Why are you concerned by that?
28:04That's the bit what's proper gone.
28:08Look at that thread bur.
28:10There's a few greys in there, isn't there?
28:12There you go.
28:13Right, okay.
28:15That's shocking.
28:16The middle one's shocking.
28:17No, look.
28:18Look, it's better than mine.
28:22Your main issue is thin hair.
28:24Mine's a bigger area, isn't it?
28:26Big area.
28:26Yeah.
28:27Your main issue is thin hair.
28:28So, in the case of plasma treatments,
28:30for your situation,
28:31it would make more sense to do plasma treatment?
28:34I'm in.
28:35Good.
28:38Okay, make a fist.
28:40Okay.
28:41Okay, take a deep breath.
28:43Exhale.
28:44Okay, relax the fist.
28:46Yeah.
28:47Good job.
28:47I'm a bit squeamish when it comes to giving blood,
28:49but if it gets me her back, I'd donate a kidney.
28:53Look at all that.
28:54That's a lot of blood.
28:55It's all going to go back in.
28:58Yeah.
28:58Can you be careful with that?
28:59Because we don't need his stupidity spreading.
29:02That could make the whole population of Zurich
29:0530% less articulate if that got out.
29:09So, just, please, be careful with it.
29:11They stick the blood in a centrifuge and spin it at 3,000 RPM
29:16to separate out the plasma.
29:18I'll be honest, it's witchcraft.
29:20Oh, look at that.
29:22This is the plasma.
29:24And it's this liquid gold that should help my hair grow.
29:29Just got to inject it now.
29:31Easy.
29:32So, this is the wonderful machine.
29:35What the hell is this?
29:37I didn't sign up for this.
29:40Okay.
29:41What the hell?
29:44Can I have a go, please?
29:48There were five little tiny needles.
29:50Look it.
29:51Oh, dear God.
29:52Can you see that?
29:53I've got to be honest, they don't look so tiny.
29:54Something got quite warm in here.
29:58The plasma goes right in here.
30:00Here we go.
30:01Right here we go.
30:02Oh, my God.
30:03Here we go.
30:04Okay.
30:05This is what it feels like.
30:07One, two, three, go.
30:14That makes the eyes water.
30:19Oh, that's tender there.
30:21For this to work, I'd need 500 injections every visit.
30:25Oh, God.
30:26It's enough to make your hair stand on end.
30:30Oh.
30:30Chance would be a fine thing.
30:35Oh, fair amount of carrot coming out there.
30:38Oh, God.
30:42Feels like when someone's trying to pull your hair out.
30:48I'm really glad that I was identified as being unsuitable for this treatment.
30:53God, I'm sweating.
30:55So, take a deep breath.
30:58And exhale.
30:59No pain, no gain.
31:01No pain.
31:02How far down the tube are we, Doctor?
31:06Just breathe.
31:07Breathe, enjoy.
31:10I like seeing a certain amount of discomfort put his way,
31:14but this looks like it's too much now.
31:16They're telling me, for maximum effect,
31:19I'd need five more visits.
31:21That's more than 2,000 injections.
31:23Oh, God.
31:25Okay.
31:26Perfect.
31:27Oh.
31:27Now, you're done.
31:29I think once is enough for me.
31:36It's uncomfortable.
31:37It's like you've got someone pulling your ears out, weirdly, then, in an injection.
31:42It's sort of like someone keeps tugging at your ear all over your head,
31:46but, like, really hard.
31:48You could totally get that done in your dinner hour.
31:50I am all for blokes looking after the self,
31:54and I think the more we can have places like this
31:58and make men feel comfortable,
32:01every little helps.
32:02But I am now looking forward to having my hair dried off
32:07and seeing it blossom in the next few weeks.
32:13Oh, that's better.
32:18Like it never happens.
32:22Beautiful.
32:26Oh, already feeling bigger.
32:38After yesterday's treatment,
32:40I can't say I'm a massive fan of Swiss needles,
32:43but there's one sharp bit of Swiss kit I do love.
32:48Oh, Lord.
32:50It's a beautiful bit of design, Swiss Army knife.
32:54That's your classic knife.
32:55That's just your blade.
32:57No.
32:58Look at that.
32:59Little pair of scissors.
33:01That's your smaller blade.
33:05Classic corkscrew.
33:07Yeah.
33:10That little white thing there that pulls out.
33:13I...
33:14Tweezers.
33:15And toothpicks.
33:17Oh, no, don't tell me.
33:19You have absolutely blown my mind.
33:22What?!
33:26I never knew that.
33:28You're not?
33:29I never knew a toothpick and tweezers with a Swiss Army knife.
33:33I didn't even know they had detachable bits.
33:35This is major for me.
33:37This is massive.
33:39Live and learn, Pad.
33:43Cutting edge design is one thing,
33:44but it's not going to help me fix my MOT results.
33:48So we're heading into the Alps for a more natural Swiss shortcut
33:51to feeling good.
33:55It's funny, when you're in a place like Switzerland,
33:57which is so beautiful,
33:58you kind of become a bit sanitised to the beauty.
34:01I suppose it'd be like being married to Claudia Schiffer.
34:04At first, you're going round I-fiving yourself all the time.
34:08After a year or two, it's like,
34:10well, that's Claudia.
34:11Wondering about the house.
34:15You do choose the strangest analogies.
34:18Well, Pad, I think you're going to be impressed
34:20by what we've got lined up today.
34:23A little treat for you.
34:25There.
34:27Look at that.
34:27My word.
34:30Now, I'm not telling you how we're getting up there,
34:32but don't worry, it doesn't involve your legs.
34:36Thank God.
34:37Thank God.
34:42Mount Rigi is one of Switzerland's most popular mountains.
34:46Standing at almost 1,800 metres,
34:49its fresh alpine air and ancient springs
34:51have been attracting people
34:53in search of a healthier lifestyle for centuries.
34:59But to reach the summit,
35:00there is only one way to travel.
35:04Beautiful.
35:06We've never discussed this before,
35:08but do you love a train?
35:09I do love a train, actually.
35:11I love these kind of trains.
35:13It's gorgeous.
35:15Turntable.
35:15I had one of those as a kid.
35:17This is basically the classic Bentley of trains, isn't it?
35:21Settle in.
35:22Also, a bit of velour.
35:25Feel that, feel that.
35:26Bit of velour.
35:27This is what it's all about, isn't it?
35:31Here she goes.
35:34This mechanical masterpiece was built in 1937.
35:38Its electric engine delivers 450 horsepower
35:41and it can hit a top speed of 18 kilometres per hour.
35:44Chris, you're boring people.
35:46They're not here for tech spec.
35:48This is good stuff.
35:50You really know how to take the magic out of a moment.
35:53Wow, look at this.
35:55Wow.
35:57Amazing.
35:58This is the best way to travel.
36:01Well done on this.
36:03I think train travel done well,
36:05it's the very, very peak for me.
36:08I'll tell you who's got it made.
36:09Michael Portillo.
36:11That's all he does now.
36:12Have you seen him?
36:12He's always talking about trains on the telly.
36:15I mean, this is just boring.
36:17Look at that down there.
36:21Beautiful.
36:25It's not only the views which are impressive.
36:27When it comes to engineering,
36:29the Swiss think of everything.
36:33Do you know what's a treat about this?
36:35Look at these glasses.
36:36Because it's all uphill, see the other shape?
36:39So that is pretty much level there.
36:46These are, look at that, Patrick.
36:48That there is Blue Peter.
36:51Blue Peter meets the Krypton Factor.
36:53Have you ever thought about being a physics teacher?
36:56Yeah.
37:02We're off to the summit for a celebration of traditional Alpine living.
37:06It's all a little bit Julie Andrews,
37:09and I feel we might be a little underdressed for this party.
37:13What?
37:14Blimey, what are these lot here?
37:15Look at these guys.
37:20My word.
37:22There's some horn on him.
37:24There we go.
37:25Have some party today.
37:30We're off.
37:36Very Horvitz.
37:54Looks like we're here.
38:02Beautiful.
38:03We're full of them.
38:05We're not going to lose them, are we?
38:12Oh.
38:14Check this out.
38:16The Alps are the gold standard for healthy living.
38:19Great walks, fresh air, and views that kick stress and anxiety to the curb.
38:24And today, I'm embracing it all.
38:27This is the type of shortcut I like.
38:29Healthy living without the sweat of a gym.
38:33It's just smiles, it's altitude, it's sun, it's outdoors.
38:38This is just the way it is.
38:40Good, healthy life, smiling, enjoying company.
38:43This is the way forward, being outdoors.
38:48This is the way it is.
38:49It's just the way it is.
38:52It's the way it is.
38:53Everywhere's good its local celebrity.
38:54Round here, it's William Tell.
38:56A man who, when it comes to archery, had a very relaxed attitude to health and safety.
39:03to celebrate this legendary tale the Alpine festivities include a little contest
39:09yes Patrick and I split the arrow I split the arrow it's Robbie not style right McGuinness
39:18competition time isn't it oh he loves a competition okay you're the left I'm the right
39:32oh beautiful straight in are you missed it's 1-0 to me yep that is
39:55what's the shop you might have hit me there I'm glad because you've not had a good time
40:02in Switzerland look at your little face now look how happy you are we put can we please give him
40:09a
40:09yeah yeah of course you know what thank you thank you first thing that's gone right in days should we
40:17go
40:17up do you think my 66 year old steady hand helped let's have a look two four four one two
40:24three three
40:26oh you lost sorry about that I don't like to talk about it you know the beating of Chris Harris
40:43but
40:44luckily Chris Harris isn't competitive so he doesn't bother about that at all you might see him somewhere
40:50now punching a wall if you you'll be around somewhere seething oh that's him there now he's getting
41:00ready to jump out without a parachute there he is it's not all that bad Chris oh he's oh it's
41:09too late
41:10so late but I know something that'll lift Chris's spirits who doesn't love a bit of singing Swiss style
41:20yodeling is something you have to do while you're in Switzerland huh so our friends from the train have
41:25kindly offered to teach us how to yodel why do you yodel well this is an expression of the heart
41:30yes like on a spot like this such a beauty it just comes out of you right away let's do
41:37it is my posture
41:38right well a little bit yeah like this like you like do your hand in the pocket also like this
41:44there we go
41:46there we go
41:50Bernard here is a big deal in yodeling he's the Alpine's answer to Elvis
42:09okay listen now I start with the melody and you do the bass
42:15stand stand back Chris I'm gonna show you something special here son
42:32yeah yeah you're good you're good you're also a little bit close
42:43singing like this can improve blood pressure and even lift your mood mostly for those of us singing
42:51everyone else for miles around would rather we put a sock in it
43:04you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good
43:22you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good
43:22you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good
43:22you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good
43:22you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good
43:22you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good
43:22you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good you're good
43:22you're good you're good you're good you're
43:33you look just like a fella at a Pink Floyd yeah Roger Waters Roger Waters
43:40right gentlemen beer or what I was just gonna say let's get a beer took your
43:49don't on that opener there's no two ways about it it knocks him getting them results and it would
44:04do it knock anyone I think but being out here today top of the mountain in the sunshine and
44:09he loves the old trains he I wouldn't say happy because he's he's never happy he's not comfortable
44:15being happy but he's back on a sort of mildly unhappy keel and that suits him he runs just nice
44:22on that
44:24I understand if alterations make you feel better about yourself ultimately feeling good about
44:30yourself is worth investing in I'd invest in getting a train up here I really would think
44:34it's stunning if you have a chance to come here come up this train and look at this view it's
44:39awe-inspiring and do you know what I already reckon I'm trimming that 66 back
44:56today we're taking the doctor's advice so I've arranged a final challenge to kickstart a more
45:02active lifestyle for us both how are you feeling today that's a loaded question well I'm only saying
45:15you've got the you've got the readers on life's good you look cool I'm relaxed the reason I'm asking
45:22how you're feeling today is obviously it's been a bit of a shock with a doctor but not a surprise
45:28you
45:28know become 66 was a surprise I was looking at thinking I was late 50s right okay fair enough
45:36yeah well it's a shock then so I was saying like chin up chinkers off with a place that looks
45:44this good
45:45you'll actually take any opportunity to soak up the scenery maybe that's why 2.4 million of the swiss
45:52off and squeeze into lycra the world's most unforgiving fabric and get out onto one of the
45:59country's many cycle tracks and why shouldn't we join them what we've got lined up I don't think there
46:06is any shortcuts this is fabian cancellara nicknamed sparticus he's a world champion and olympic gold
46:19medalist in cycling and he's agreed to let us join his racing team for the day here we go
46:27what have you got us into here pad i think i've overreached here
46:36hello there hello welcome paddy i like i like this you're strong
46:43sound hey i'm not as strong as him the bikes are ready for you guys let's go
46:50that's it we're straight in yeah of course no little pep talk no warm-up
46:55no why you're fit i mean hey there's no engines you don't need engines this is the engine yes you're
47:05man one cylinder needs a full rebuild one cylinder all right let's go and get ready right okay let's
47:12lycra up the thing about lycra is that some people can pull it off and some people should never even
47:20try
47:21we make you looking pro right that's not possible there's a few things so helmet first of all
47:28you're totally wrong safety first then something else yeah
47:37wait then this oh hello you're looking good man you should also have everything look good
47:44but now guys that's the magic it's a chamois cream is this like a moisturizer yeah oh god
47:52you need more put it out on the legs no no no no i thought you said it's not for
47:57your legs what's
47:58it for it's for saddle soreness a bit so you go like this yeah and then you go under your
48:03balls and
48:04then that you don't have pain yeah but turn around because it's not for people that's not gonna go oh
48:12this adult this is oh my god i just had a little glimpse of little chris there what are you
48:20doing
48:20that's fine all good don't go too deep no what has this show become oh oh someone put on some
48:32slow
48:32music i'll just i'll just stay here doing this no no now we go for a ride sorry for anyone
48:41who had to
48:41watch that in hd but we're all greased up and ready to go and we need all the help we
48:47can get if we're
48:48to survive a session with spartacus he's kicking things off with a 10 kilometer warm-up one for you
48:55fantastic thank you one for you hope there's a paramedic at the other end that doctor said go
49:01cycling so this is the start of my the new part of my life paddy i'm shortcutting my way to
49:08not dying
49:08let's take this seriously it's never too late to learn new things right absolutely so i'm ready
49:13the bikes are ready you're ready wagons ho
49:29look at this pad look at that mate absolutely gorgeous in it
49:36right i've never seen a view like that god got everything it's got green it's got sunshine
49:41it's got trees and it's got mountains yeah and for a 60 something like chris cycling is one of the
49:48best low-impact cardio workouts around it torches through calories aids weight loss and can even help
49:56boost your mental health yeah and it's not about you have to do two hours three hours 100 miles or
50:0350
50:04miles i mean this is not sport this is just experience a small exercise small movement yep
50:11i bought a bike because this is the way forward
50:19so now we go down boys be careful here
50:25if we're going downhill it means we want to go uphill at some point yeah we go don't worry
50:30i should be worried left here oh my god
50:36this is the michael is cross a 3.8 kilometer continuous climb with an average incline of 9.4
50:43percent and it's part of the tour the swiss i did it in the race in tour the swiss a
50:49few years ago and
50:50it was really tough but now it's up to us pain is temporary memories will last forever come on guys
50:59are
50:59vultures this is not a good sign guys vultures professional riders can climb it in under 15
51:08minutes but we are far from being professional off it a little rocket all good a little come come
51:20so when it comes to a longer climb it's finding a certain pace but it's not a problem if it
51:26hurts
51:26a bit guys it's not a problem if it hurts a bit yeah because if it doesn't hurt you say
51:33oh it's too easy
51:35i don't think we're gonna do that mate
51:48knackered already pad it's good i'm impressed you're talking
51:54so now we go to the next phase that's the longer part
51:59go on pad he's being very clever and quiet pad it's not clever i just can't breathe
52:04reach out touch base
52:06oh feeling that chris i am feeling that mate good burning
52:21halfway through boys oh my god only halfway stuff 66 right now i'm feeling more like 80.
52:36i'm just about out here my god i'm feeling it now like chris you're gonna make it
52:45i have never been a natural sportsman but there's one upside to being a grumpy old git
52:52a stubbornness to prove people wrong and i'm not quitting before mcginnis rule number one don't stop
53:00pedaling i'm trying not rule number two you're gonna reach the top i really hope that's it up there
53:09oh my god come on come on come on guys we are almost there a few hundred meters nearly there
53:24chris
53:29come on come on come on come on
53:57you want a little bit of water very impressed
54:05oh why is no one out of breath oh i've got to say though
54:12i'm surprised that the pair of us because this isn't our thing
54:17he's done it though he's done it he's done it he's done it the lad
54:26i honestly thought the pair of us would have been off the back and pushing it at some stage because
54:30that was steep i was blowing going up there and i was thinking how's he going on i knew we
54:36were kind
54:36of there or thereabouts and the fact that he got up here um honestly i was buzzing for chris really
54:44because i think that'll be the real kick for him when we get back to the uk
54:50i have to say it's up there with the most unpleasant things i've ever done especially
54:54when you've got a national international cycling hero to your left just chatting
54:59doesn't feel bad you know i think there's a fear of breaking through the unhealthy barrier that
55:04particularly men have and that's why you stay in the pub it's why you stay on the sofa it's why
55:08so every time you every time you think i could go out and do some sit-ups or i could
55:14do something
55:14different you look at your phone or you get on deliveroo and this reminds me that last thing there
55:19up the hill hated it wanted to give up straight away but my brain's gone to a place now where
55:24i don't
55:24want to give up so uh if there's a message at the end of this it's don't give up
55:42it's been a real eye-opener for the poor of us and what started off as an adventure has really
55:49turned out to be something much more special i've got to say i think everything we've done sweden
55:57a career in switzerland that bike ride's got to be the toughest yes i agree my legs are still hurting
56:04now really took it out of me i'm so glad you kept going because if you hadn't i would have
56:10given up
56:11as well out of everything we've done in all the three different countries what have you enjoyed the
56:17most enjoyed i think in many ways i've enjoyed all of it pat this is real look at that down
56:30there
56:33i'm not stressed now
56:38i loved swimming in that lake in sweden as well there was something cleansing about that
56:44it's not the physical side of things it's more the mental side for me it's more about
56:49de-stressing your life a little bit
56:55it feels like a long time ago that we were looking at 80 year old naked men
57:01how are we boys let's keep looking out there so what have you garnered from the whole thing
57:11that i was in an absolute state yeah i still am in a state but i've got the tools to
57:17get myself
57:17out of the state yeah i'm gonna get on the bike yeah and i'm just gonna i'm not going to
57:23be scared
57:23of it and this has got me beyond the scared point before we finish uh can i ask you and
57:29this is a
57:30really important question does my ear look thicker
57:37yes it's a win-win it's a win-win i know i drink pad i love you very much you're
57:42just you're not like
57:43anyone else i've met well yeah i grow on you
57:46so
58:02so