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Texas, Brooklyn & Heaven (1948) – A Wild Journey of Love and Adventure follows a charming story filled with romance, comedy, and unexpected adventures. Set between Texas and Brooklyn, the film brings together colorful characters whose lives take surprising turns as they chase love, dreams, and a better future.

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Fun
Transcript
00:00:01Texas
00:00:02Texas
00:00:06Brooklyn
00:00:08Texas
00:00:11Brooklyn
00:00:12and
00:00:14Heaven
00:00:16Before you learn your ABC's
00:00:19you learn that good things happen
00:00:20in dreams like Texas
00:00:22Brooklyn
00:00:23and Heaven
00:00:26They made the blues
00:00:27a legal time
00:00:28The devil has such a terrible time
00:00:31in Texas
00:00:32Brooklyn
00:00:33Heaven
00:00:36Yippee-i, yippee-o for the Alamo
00:00:38where the flames are above the mat
00:00:41Yippee-o, yippee-i
00:00:43for the lucky guy
00:00:44who hangs his hat in a flat
00:00:46You wanna meet an angel
00:00:49face my angels live
00:00:51all over the place in Texas
00:00:55Brooklyn
00:01:25Heaven
00:01:25and Heaven
00:01:27What's with that?
00:01:28What's with what?
00:01:30Without.
00:01:31Oh, how special. You have one?
00:01:34Yeah.
00:01:35I'll have the fourth one.
00:01:38Funny fellow, huh?
00:01:40With or without?
00:01:42With or without what?
00:01:44The story.
00:01:45Is it long?
00:01:46Depends on how many you drink.
00:01:49Okay, start mixing.
00:01:51I'm gonna work my way up to that free one.
00:01:55Hey, Mike.
00:01:57Why Texas Golden Horse?
00:02:00Why not Brooklyn Golden Horse?
00:02:03Cause Eddie Taylor came from Texas.
00:02:05Dallas, Texas.
00:02:11This is Dallas, Texas.
00:02:16Dallas, Dallas, Dallas, Dallas.
00:02:25New York City.
00:02:27Hey here.
00:02:29Oh no!
00:02:39Hey follow me.
00:02:41Cheryl, right over from Texas.
00:02:51I remember the Goldeniej çevres.
00:02:51Yeah.
00:02:52Yes.
00:02:58Have a good day.
00:03:14Say, copy.
00:03:15Got anything for me?
00:03:17Nope.
00:03:17You don't expect to get anything for that place.
00:03:20Not on the Dallas news, do you, Eddie?
00:03:22That's good. I'm kind of busy here anyhow.
00:03:25Who are you kidding?
00:03:26Copy!
00:03:27I'll see you.
00:03:34Give this to Talo. It might interest him.
00:03:36Yes, sir.
00:03:39Copy.
00:03:42Got something for you?
00:03:43Yeah, for me?
00:03:45San Angelo is your hometown, isn't it?
00:03:46Yeah.
00:03:47Got a story here just came in about old TX Talo.
00:03:50Any relation of yours?
00:03:51My grandfather.
00:03:52It says here he's dead.
00:03:58He was a very old man.
00:04:00Left an inheritance, huh?
00:04:02Yeah.
00:04:03His own private money belt and a couple of 1875 Colt revolvers.
00:04:09Well, he remembered me.
00:04:11I'd forgotten him.
00:04:15Seems he didn't believe in banks, so he left me $6,000 in cash in his money belt.
00:04:20Copy.
00:04:20I'll see you.
00:04:38Mr. McGonigal?
00:04:40Yeah?
00:04:41This is my last day here.
00:04:44Quitting?
00:04:45Since the first day I came here, three years ago, I've been waiting until I had enough money to do
00:04:49what I really want to do.
00:04:51Money?
00:04:51Your grandfather left you $6,000, not 60.
00:04:54That's enough.
00:04:55What are you going to do with this enormous fortune?
00:04:57Buy a ranch half the size of Texas?
00:04:59I'm going to New York to finish my play.
00:05:01Uh-huh.
00:05:02Well, when your smash hit pops on Broadway, the Fort Worth section will still be open.
00:05:06On the Dallas News?
00:05:07That's right.
00:05:09No thanks.
00:05:10So long, McGonigal.
00:05:11So long.
00:05:12Well, good luck.
00:05:34And he got off to a swell start.
00:05:38Twenty-six miles out of Dallas, he had car trouble.
00:05:41But if there had been no car trouble...
00:05:44Say, mister, would you give me a lift, please?
00:05:48I'm not very heavy.
00:05:50Where did you come from?
00:05:52I was asleep there beside the road.
00:05:54Then I heard you making all that noise.
00:05:56I guess it woke me.
00:05:58Go away.
00:06:01You're a very rude person.
00:06:03You're not a nice girl.
00:06:05Not on the highway this time of the night.
00:06:07There's nothing nice about you either.
00:06:09Not a single iota.
00:06:10It so happens I'm running away from home.
00:06:13Some people do it in style, some have to do it my way.
00:06:15So for your information, I am a nice girl.
00:06:18And now if you'll excuse me, good night.
00:06:34I can't sleep with all that racket you're making.
00:06:39I'm sorry my car broke down in your boudoir.
00:06:43If you had one iota of friendliness.
00:06:46Just one iota.
00:06:48I could fix your car for you.
00:06:51That I'd like to see.
00:07:03Thanks for fixing my car.
00:07:05You've already said that four times.
00:07:07I'm only trying to make conversation.
00:07:10Please don't exert yourself.
00:07:12I'm sure it must be very exhausting for you to try to be nice.
00:07:15I'm a fellow who's always been alone.
00:07:19Even when I work with others, I'm still alone.
00:07:21I'm not used to helping or being helped.
00:07:29I'm not used to helping others.
00:07:29Isn't it funny that I should be running away from the ranch when that's what I like most of all?
00:07:34What ranch?
00:07:36Oh, didn't I tell you?
00:07:37It's the family ranch in Texas.
00:07:40It's just outside of Kalinimo City.
00:07:42It covers about 115,000 acres.
00:07:45And you should see the horses we have.
00:07:472,800 of them, not counting the wild men and their foes.
00:07:51Look, Miss.
00:07:52I know Kalinimo City pretty well.
00:07:54There isn't a horse ranch within 200 miles of that place.
00:07:57And we both know it.
00:07:59Yeah, but if there was such a place, wouldn't it be wonderful?
00:08:03What are you really running away from?
00:08:05A gasoline station.
00:08:08That's why I know so much about cars.
00:08:11My brother and I ran it until he got married.
00:08:13And then when his wife moved in, I felt sort of unnecessary.
00:08:17You know, like I was crowding the place.
00:08:19Still, it's better than bucking the world on you.
00:08:22Unless you have a grandfather who left your hunk of dough.
00:08:27All I have is a diploma from the correspondence school.
00:08:30It's a very attractive diploma, though, and it says I'm a perfect secretary.
00:08:34Shorthand, typing, and business management.
00:08:37You've got a job waiting for you someplace, huh?
00:08:40No, but I'll get one.
00:08:41And then when I've made enough money, I'll come back to Texas
00:08:44and buy myself a ranch with horses.
00:08:46All the loveliest horses.
00:08:50You haven't told me anything about yourself.
00:08:52You've been awfully quiet.
00:08:53We interrupt this broadcast to bring you a very special bulletin.
00:08:56Red Carr is still at large.
00:08:58Red Carr, who robbed another bank in East Texas this morning,
00:09:01was last seen steaming away in a fast black coupe.
00:09:03Up to ten minutes ago, he had not been apprehended.
00:09:06Special warning to anyone who might see him.
00:09:08Red Carr always carries at least two heavy-caliber revolvers.
00:09:15Approach with caution.
00:09:21What kind of work do you do?
00:09:24Oh, I'm going to New York to write a play.
00:09:28You still haven't told me your name, or, or, uh, would you rather not?
00:09:34Talo.
00:09:35Eddie Talo.
00:09:36How do you spell the Talo?
00:09:38T-A-Y-L-O-E.
00:09:41My name is Peruna Dunklin.
00:09:43I spell the Dunklin.
00:09:44D-U-N-K...
00:09:47Watch out!
00:09:53Put those guns down.
00:09:55They might go off.
00:09:56Thank goodness you've come out of it.
00:09:58I thought it was the sheriff and the posse.
00:10:01Sheriff?
00:10:03But it was only Mr. Tebow and the doctor.
00:10:05Now, think quick.
00:10:06They'll be in here in a minute.
00:10:07We'll use the name you gave me last night.
00:10:09Eddie Talo.
00:10:10That's what I've already told them your name is.
00:10:12Are you listening to me?
00:10:13I'm listening.
00:10:14My name is Eddie Talo.
00:10:15Good.
00:10:16And I'm your sister, Perry.
00:10:17My sister?
00:10:19It makes it look better.
00:10:20Red Carr wouldn't be riding around with his sister.
00:10:23What's Red Carr got to do with this?
00:10:27Who are you?
00:10:28Eddie Talo.
00:10:30That's fine.
00:10:31And don't worry about your money, Gov.
00:10:32I put it under the couch,
00:10:33and Mr. Tebow helped me get you in the bed last night.
00:10:35I'm getting out of here riding.
00:10:37What happened to my shoulder?
00:10:38You're lucky you're alive.
00:10:40I don't know.
00:10:42And who's this Mr. Tebow?
00:10:44This is his house.
00:10:45He lives here alone.
00:10:46His wife ran away with the dentist.
00:10:48But he doesn't care, he says,
00:10:49because now he doesn't have to pay the bill.
00:10:51Anyway, he helped me get you here after the accident.
00:10:54You remember the accident.
00:10:57Don't you?
00:10:58Remember it.
00:10:59I'm still in it.
00:11:00It's getting worse.
00:11:02And we're so fortunate that Mr. Tebow didn't recognize you.
00:11:05Let's get something straight.
00:11:07I'm not Red Carr.
00:11:09Of course not.
00:11:10You're Eddie Talo.
00:11:11We agreed on that, didn't we?
00:11:12It's not a matter of agreement.
00:11:14I am Eddie Talo.
00:11:16And I'm your sister.
00:11:17I have no sister.
00:11:19You better have one if you know what's good for you.
00:11:24Hello, Doctor.
00:11:26Hello.
00:11:26Miss...
00:11:27Uh, Talo.
00:11:27Perry Talo.
00:11:31And, uh...
00:11:32You're...
00:11:33I'm Red Carr.
00:11:36You've heard about me, Doc.
00:11:37Haven't you?
00:11:38Uh, why, uh...
00:11:40Everybody around these parts knows about Red Carr.
00:11:44What are you nodding your head for?
00:11:46Don't you believe I'm Red Carr, don't you?
00:11:49Yeah.
00:11:50And now, perhaps it would be better if I talk to the patient alone.
00:12:00It's his left shoulder, Doctor.
00:12:02We'll know soon enough.
00:12:03I'll call you if I need you.
00:12:05Try to behave.
00:12:07Get in touch with the rest of the mob.
00:12:08Tell them to lay low until the heat's off.
00:12:11Oh!
00:12:15You got a good buy in this car, Ed.
00:12:17You did the buy?
00:12:18Four hundred miles from the motor sound like a hummingbird.
00:12:21You still getting off at Birmingham?
00:12:23Sure, if you're sure.
00:12:25Why don't you stay with me and...
00:12:27Or is that too big for you?
00:12:29I hadn't figured on New York.
00:12:32Why not make it New York?
00:12:34It's about time somebody like you went there and changed the place.
00:12:38Oh, I don't know.
00:12:42Perry.
00:12:45Yes?
00:12:47My shoulder doesn't bother me anymore.
00:12:49It hasn't hurt me for the last two days.
00:12:51Uh, I didn't say anything because...
00:12:54Well...
00:12:55What I mean is...
00:12:58You're a good driver.
00:13:01You mustn't fall in love with me.
00:13:03Who said anything about...
00:13:04Who'd spoil everything?
00:13:06What makes you think...
00:13:08I give up?
00:13:10You must admit there's always the possibility that you might want for us to become sweethearts.
00:13:14You admit that possibility?
00:13:17True?
00:13:18Well, you must fight that possibility.
00:13:20It'll be a struggle.
00:13:22A love affair at this time would interfere with my plans.
00:13:26You see, Eddie...
00:13:27I've always lived in a world of...
00:13:30Well, call it make-believe.
00:13:32But one thing is a reality.
00:13:35I have a great capacity for love.
00:13:37For people. For all kinds of people.
00:13:40Oh, I could fall in love, but that would be selfish of me.
00:13:44I feel I sort of owe it to those people to kind of ration out my affections.
00:13:49So, that's why you must deny yourself the prospect of loving me.
00:13:53When the time comes that I feel I've done all I can do for others, when that time comes, then
00:13:58perhaps we can sit down and talk things over.
00:14:01Goodie.
00:14:03I don't care whether you're laughing at me or not.
00:14:05That's the way I feel about everything, and this is the first time I've had an opportunity to do anything
00:14:09about it.
00:14:09So, please, be strong, show character, and don't fall in love with me.
00:14:14Perry.
00:14:15Yes?
00:14:15Do me a favor.
00:14:16Good.
00:14:17Shut up!
00:14:27What are you gonna do? Walk out on me right now?
00:14:30You said your shoulder's okay?
00:14:33Well, I'm a little tired. You drive for a while.
00:14:36After all, it's a long way to New York.
00:15:02For six states, she talked his ears off.
00:15:05Of course, Perry knew he wasn't red car.
00:15:08But she kept up her act just for the fun of watching him blow his top.
00:15:12And all the time, he didn't know that she was giving him the needle.
00:15:18It's funny how some gals know just when to use reversed English.
00:15:26Well, anyway, it's not expensive like the others.
00:15:33It'll make a good hideout.
00:15:35For the last time, I don't need a hideout.
00:15:42Well, goodbye.
00:15:43I hope you finish your plate pretty soon.
00:15:46Thanks for everything.
00:15:47What's your rush?
00:15:48Let's have breakfast first and talk things over.
00:15:51We've had plenty of time to talk.
00:15:53Now, I'm on my way to Brooklyn.
00:15:56Brooklyn?
00:15:56Did you come all the way to New York to end up in Brooklyn?
00:16:00I've heard so much about it.
00:16:01It sounds like a truly wondrous plate.
00:16:04What's so wondrous about it?
00:16:07Brooklyn appeals to me.
00:16:08Is there any reason why I shouldn't make it my destination?
00:16:11Well, that's not a logical question.
00:16:13I can't give you a logical answer.
00:16:17Well, goodbye.
00:16:25I hate to see you rush off like that.
00:16:30Eddie, you're being romantic.
00:16:32I give up.
00:16:33In plain and simple language, goodbye.
00:16:39Will you get in touch with me when you get settled?
00:16:44All right, Eddie.
00:17:11Let me have a room and bath, please.
00:17:20Eight.
00:17:24105.
00:17:36I'm not a bellhop, you understand.
00:17:38I'm a kind of a general all around everything.
00:17:43A bellhop would start to death in a flea bag like this.
00:17:46Present company excluded, the customers here are anti-tipping.
00:17:50That's why I gotta be illegal to make a living.
00:17:53Like I take small bets from the horse-playing set.
00:17:56I got a regular clientele.
00:17:58You can become a member.
00:18:01Where's the phone?
00:18:02No phone.
00:18:03A hotel without a telephone?
00:18:07Downstairs, near the bar, there is a public phone for the accommodation of the guests.
00:18:12That's very accommodating.
00:18:13Frankly, it's a plot against the customers to make them drink.
00:18:17You see, every time you go down and answer the phone, you buy a drink.
00:18:20Well, what if I don't want a drink?
00:18:21Don't be a character.
00:18:23You get into the habit.
00:18:24That's why Mr. Simpson yanked all the phones out of the rooms.
00:18:27Let them do their phoning in the bar, he said.
00:18:29That'll make them drink.
00:18:32Understand the psychology?
00:18:33Well, I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I don't understand the psychology.
00:18:36Look, I'll explain it to you very simple.
00:18:41Say you're a guy, and you answer the phone, and it's your girl, and she says,
00:18:45Harry, take it like a man.
00:18:48From now on, Joe has took your place in my heart forevermore.
00:18:52What is Harry gonna do?
00:18:54There is a bar, all laid out for him.
00:18:57Congenial company, and a bartender will listen to anything.
00:19:00What is Harry gonna do?
00:19:03Right, and it doesn't make any difference whether it's his girlfriend, or it's the boss,
00:19:08or even if it's the book he's trying to collect the debt.
00:19:11Good news or bad news, he's bound to take a drink.
00:19:14Sometimes to forget, sometimes to remember.
00:19:17And then there's a... there's the nervous type.
00:19:20He's gotta have a drink before he answers the phone.
00:19:23This type of character...
00:19:24Maybe you don't have to work, but I do.
00:19:27A writer.
00:19:28Do you mind?
00:19:29A regular character.
00:19:31If anybody calls you...
00:19:32Nobody's gonna call me.
00:19:33But if I get a call from Brooklyn, and it's a girl...
00:19:37Nobody's gonna call me.
00:19:38But if anybody does, I'll come up and get you.
00:19:40You don't have to worry about tipping me.
00:19:42I make my money illegal, but legitimate.
00:19:45Only... I gotta figure you out first.
00:19:50Yes. Yes.
00:19:52We'll do everything we possibly can.
00:19:54Goodbye.
00:19:56And now, Miss Taylor, what kind of room would you like, and what district?
00:19:59You know, the YWCA may not be able to find it for you.
00:20:03I'd like to live in the loft of a stable.
00:20:06A stable.
00:20:08Did you say you wanted to live in a stable?
00:20:11Yes, please.
00:20:12If it isn't too much trouble.
00:20:14You're aware that there might be horses in that stable?
00:20:17Oh, yes, of course.
00:20:19I'd favor a stable with horses in it.
00:20:22But if you can't find one with a horse in it, I'd still favor a stable.
00:20:26Even if it was empty.
00:20:28Oh, well now, that makes it much simpler.
00:20:30I thought...
00:20:32I hoped that I would be able to find such a place here.
00:20:36After all, this is Brooklyn, so...
00:20:39Naturally...
00:20:40Oh, yes. Naturally.
00:20:44Naturally.
00:20:46Naturally.
00:20:52I would be happy.
00:21:04Sorry.
00:21:05Here, Charlie.
00:21:05Share this with me.
00:21:10Good night, My dear.
00:21:11Good night.
00:21:21I don't know what it is, I don't know what it is, I don't know what it is, and I've
00:21:28been told dozens and dozens of doctors.
00:21:47That wasn't a nice thing to do. My dear child, I am ashamed of myself. You'd never think I used
00:21:53to be able to empty a purse with a hand as light as a goose feather.
00:21:57You could have asked. I asked no one. In any way, with my police record, I shouldn't even be seen
00:22:02on the streets.
00:22:05By the way, honey, before you call the coppers, would you treat me to a meal, a mere gesture, and
00:22:11I promised not to run away, I couldn't, I...
00:22:20But you've got to answer some questions.
00:22:23Why? Because you have a pencil and a notebook?
00:22:26Because it's the law.
00:22:28I've told you, she doesn't feel well. Now isn't that enough?
00:22:32Okay, we'll let it go at that. Now how about a nice, clean ambulance?
00:22:37None of that, dear boy. No ambulances.
00:22:40But you're sick lately.
00:22:41Why make her sicker?
00:22:43Ambulances, hospitals, a lot of questions. I know the whole routine. Very unhealthy, all those questions.
00:22:50Okay, then just give the facts. What's your name?
00:22:54Perry Calo.
00:22:55You know, I think that the safety...
00:22:56Mind if I get the facts.
00:23:00T-A-Y-L-O.
00:23:03Add an A.
00:23:07And the lady, you ever seen her before?
00:23:10Enough of this.
00:23:11Child, I don't want to burden you with...
00:23:14Oh, dear.
00:23:16Send for the wagon.
00:23:18You know, they should send you home.
00:23:20Two will get you five, she hasn't even got her home.
00:23:22She asked you got her home.
00:23:24And how would you know?
00:23:25Because...
00:23:27Because she's my mother.
00:23:31Your mother, huh?
00:23:33What kind of a daughter are you not to feed your own flesh and blood?
00:23:37Because she was too proud and independent to accept help.
00:23:41And then one day she ran away from home to see what she could pick up on her own.
00:23:49I didn't catch up with her until today.
00:23:51She didn't want to be a burden on me.
00:23:54Or on my brother.
00:23:56You see, I have a brother, too.
00:23:58His name is Edward Taylor, and he lives at the Grand National Hotel.
00:24:02She's his mother, too.
00:24:06Now, that makes everything fine, doesn't it?
00:24:09Uh-huh.
00:24:10Uh-huh.
00:24:12Okay, you gonna take her home with you and take care of her?
00:24:15Of course.
00:24:17And your address?
00:24:18Grand National?
00:24:20No, no.
00:24:21It's 9006 Flatbush Place.
00:24:24Not the house itself.
00:24:26The stable.
00:24:339006 Flatbush Place.
00:24:34Now you're doing the right thing.
00:24:36And where do you live?
00:24:37Oh, I don't want to get mixed up in this.
00:24:38I was just waiting for a downtown express, but, uh, I'll take a local.
00:24:55But I have to win.
00:24:56Will one of you sweet girls please say something?
00:24:58My daughter and I have answered all of your questions.
00:25:01How much longer do we have to stand here?
00:25:06Maybe they don't want us to rent the stable off.
00:25:08We do.
00:25:13You appear to be satisfactory.
00:25:15You don't drink. You don't smoke.
00:25:16And you're not given to entertaining gentlemen calls.
00:25:19Very satisfactory.
00:25:21Then we can have it?
00:25:25Yes. We'll show it to you.
00:25:48Come in.
00:25:49Telephone for you.
00:25:50For me?
00:25:51The police department.
00:25:52Well, it's a gag.
00:25:53What should the police want me?
00:25:55Don't be disturbed, character.
00:25:56When the police use the telephone, it can't be anything serious.
00:25:59Maybe they just want you to... to identify a corpse.
00:26:03It's okay. You can go that way.
00:26:04We're informal here.
00:26:21Hello?
00:26:22Yes.
00:26:23This is Eddie Taylor speaking.
00:26:26My mother!
00:26:28Well, if my sister Perry told you that, you can take her word for it.
00:26:33Yes, sir.
00:26:35I'll see to it that my mother's properly fed from now on.
00:27:09Another telephone call. Your sister.
00:27:12Tell her. Tell her that I...
00:27:14I'll take it.
00:27:32Hello. Now let Perry, I'm getting...
00:27:36Yes, the police call me.
00:27:38No, they didn't fingerpin me.
00:27:41Listen, Perry.
00:27:42How can you get yourself into so much trouble in so short a time?
00:27:46There's been no trouble, not one iota.
00:27:49As a matter of fact, I have something good to tell you.
00:27:51I found a wonderful mother for you.
00:27:54But I don't want a mother.
00:27:56But Redcar needs a mother. Don't you understand the psychology?
00:27:59I don't care if Redcar needs a mother. I'm trying to write a play.
00:28:04All right, but don't get hysterical just because I was trying to help a nice lady who was hungry.
00:28:11So I arranged to have our mother stay with me.
00:28:14Go on. Give me the facts.
00:28:16Now if you'll promise not to get mad, I'll explain something about our mother.
00:28:19You see, many years ago, she had a sort of, um, a tendency to, um, to pickpockets.
00:28:28Did you say that our sweet, loving mother has a notorious pickpocket with a long prison record?
00:28:34Will you or will you not stand by me?
00:28:36Of course I'll stand by you.
00:28:38What else am I going to do?
00:28:40But Perry, please, can't you get yourself involved in something simple?
00:28:46Like a triple murder.
00:28:48Oh, Eddie, I'm terribly sorry I've been such a burden to you.
00:28:50And you have my solemn word that I'll never do anything to make you angry or upset you again.
00:28:57Okay, Perry, okay. I'm not angry with you.
00:29:07Hello? Hello, Perry? Perry?
00:29:20Let me have a double ceremony.
00:29:25Let me have a double ceremony.
00:29:56Yes?
00:29:57Oh, I'm Eddie Tello. I'm expected, I believe.
00:30:07These are my sisters, Miss Pearl Cheever and Miss Opal Cheever.
00:30:11How do you do?
00:30:13He doesn't resemble his mother.
00:30:15He doesn't resemble his sister.
00:30:17No.
00:30:19I take after my father.
00:30:21Oh.
00:30:24We do not permit smoking here.
00:30:28I'm sorry.
00:30:29We're very disagreeable.
00:30:31Everyone in the neighborhood says we're mean and spiteful.
00:30:34And utterly selfish.
00:30:36And we are.
00:30:37Yes.
00:30:39I'm sure you're not.
00:30:40We do not deny the truth.
00:30:42We're most unpleasant indeed.
00:30:44And we'd rather you didn't go around Brooklyn saying nice things about us.
00:30:47No.
00:30:52My son.
00:30:54My dear, dear son.
00:30:57It's been so long, my darling boy.
00:31:08You may use the sitting room.
00:31:10Thank you, dear girls.
00:31:11Come along, my sweet.
00:31:13Remember, no smoking.
00:31:22Excuse us, please, dear girl.
00:31:28You could have called me mother.
00:31:29But I wanted to call you a lot of things.
00:31:31But that triple threat out there stopped me cold.
00:31:34I called you about Perry.
00:31:36Well, it's about time.
00:31:38If I'd known this address, I would have been here three weeks ago.
00:31:40Well, Perry didn't want to get in touch with you until she had a job.
00:31:44Now she's got a job.
00:31:46Why didn't she call me?
00:31:47Well, it's a strange kind of a job she's got, my boy.
00:31:52If this job is something you've got her, if you're getting her mixed up in something crooked, I'll...
00:31:57Just look who's talking.
00:31:59I may have lifted a lever now and then, but I never pulled a bank job.
00:32:03But for Perry's sweet sake, your secret shall remain locked deep within my heart.
00:32:08What about Perry's job?
00:32:10What's wrong?
00:32:11That's why I thought we'd drop down and watch her while she's at work.
00:32:14Then you can decide what course of action to date.
00:32:17Oh, can't you tell me about it?
00:32:19Where's she working?
00:32:21Coney Island.
00:32:22And imagine we can get some hot dogs while we're there.
00:32:25Come along, my sweet.
00:32:36What time will you be back, Mrs. Taylor?
00:32:38Oh, in an hour or two or three.
00:32:42And thanks for a most unpleasant time.
00:32:45You must come again, Mr. Taylor.
00:32:47Oh, I will.
00:32:48Anytime I want to get depressed.
00:32:56We should have listened in on their conversation.
00:32:58We should have.
00:32:59Next time we will.
00:33:19Hey, I'll get your hot dogs.
00:33:21Giant size hot dogs.
00:33:22Coney Island special.
00:33:24Twelve inches from head to toe.
00:33:25I'll have one.
00:33:26You'll have one what?
00:33:28Well, I was under the impression you sold hot dogs here.
00:33:31Well, speak up, buddy.
00:33:32I can't read your mind.
00:33:34Hey, I'll get your hot dogs.
00:33:35Everybody likes them.
00:33:37Only tend to a customer, Mustard.
00:33:39No.
00:33:41Take it or leave it, buddy.
00:33:42In this business, we've got a short season.
00:33:49Excuse me, sir.
00:33:49I didn't mean to offend you.
00:33:51Oh, the Park Avenue type.
00:34:00But I told you I didn't want another hot dog.
00:34:03Well, don't eat it.
00:34:04I'm just trying to keep both your hands occupied.
00:34:06Now, here, hold these for me a minute.
00:34:10Excuse me.
00:34:11Excuse me.
00:34:12Excuse me?
00:34:14I know that little guy.
00:34:15He didn't recognize me, but I spotted him right away.
00:34:18He's called Doc because he looks like a nerve specialist.
00:34:21One of the smoothest operators in the profession.
00:34:24Your profession?
00:34:25Uh-huh.
00:34:26By the way, you better look and see if you still got your wallet.
00:34:35I knew he was lifting levels the minute he bumped into you.
00:34:38And I suppose you lifted it from him to prove to me that you've reformed.
00:34:41No, child.
00:34:42I just want to see if my technique is better than the doctor.
00:34:46Maybe I didn't prepare it.
00:34:48I wish you would, you said.
00:34:50And now, ladies and gentlemen, for your pleasure.
00:34:53I give you the greatest entertainment value on the Midway.
00:34:58Ziggy's internationally famous Water Nymph.
00:35:01This is it.
00:35:03What's Fairy doing in there?
00:35:04We're down here to find out.
00:35:06And I hope she can swim.
00:35:08Presenting...
00:35:09The Water Nymph.
00:35:16There they are, everybody.
00:35:18Ain't they out of this world?
00:35:20And each one born and bred in Brooklyn.
00:35:24And this one, all the way from Texas.
00:35:28Oh, look at that fairy!
00:35:30She's all right!
00:35:31Well, these girls are not only gorgeous, they're chairdevils.
00:35:35As you will soon see for yourselves behind these closed walls.
00:35:39And now, ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to have you meet the girls personally.
00:35:45Honey, tell the folks your name.
00:35:47Jean Dean.
00:35:51Linda Lombard.
00:36:10And you, honey.
00:36:13Hey, you!
00:36:15Hey, you!
00:36:21My name is Perry...
00:36:27My name is Perry Taylor.
00:36:29My name is Perry Taylor.
00:36:34Keep your hands off of her.
00:36:39Go away, Sonny, you bother me.
00:36:45I'm so proud of you.
00:36:45Right down this way, folks.
00:36:47Come on down, right down this way.
00:36:48The biggest show on the midway.
00:36:50Come on down, folks.
00:36:51The biggest show on the midway.
00:36:52The show is going on now.
00:36:54Right this way, folks.
00:36:55The biggest show on the midway.
00:36:56See the fire in it, folks.
00:36:58Come on down, right down this way, folks.
00:37:00Come on down, way.
00:37:01Keep the jungle, the beautiful Tiamese Cymbal dancers.
00:37:04Take it right this way, folks.
00:37:05Go right in.
00:37:05Right over there, folks.
00:37:06Get your tickets.
00:37:22I'm obliged to you, Eddie. Even though you made me lose my job. I'm obliged to you because I know
00:37:28you meant well. But in the future, please let me pick my own jobs and you stick to your playwriting.
00:37:33Oh, what's the use? I give up. Here. Call it a loan or whatever you want. You'll need it until
00:37:42you get another job.
00:37:45Thank you, but I'm not looking for charity. Good night.
00:37:54Hey, mother of mine. Here, you try to give it to her.
00:38:00Well, she said she didn't want to. I know, but you're slick enough to figure out a way of getting
00:38:04it to her.
00:38:05Or are you going to get high hat on me, too?
00:38:10Frankly, yes. We, and I speak for my daughter and myself, want no further interference from you.
00:38:40I told you, Mr. Arco never does musicals.
00:38:43Junior, how many times do I have to tell you to keep that phone off the hook when I'm trying
00:38:48to eat?
00:38:48Eating?
00:38:50Yeah, I was having a little snack in there, but I've got a very sensitive stomach.
00:38:54And I can't eat a thing with the phones bringing a...
00:38:56Do you mean to tell me that you've been eating all the time I've been waiting?
00:38:59Junior.
00:39:00Yeah?
00:39:01Who is this man?
00:39:02He wrote a play.
00:39:06I returned it to him, but he insisted on a personal interview with you.
00:39:09I told him you'd be tied up for at least an hour.
00:39:12And all that time you were only eating.
00:39:14Well, why not?
00:39:15I didn't bother you when you were working on your play, did I?
00:39:18Why do you feel that you should bother me when I'm trying to eat?
00:39:21Oh, stop that. This is no beauty parlor.
00:39:24Now, do you mind if I return to my chicken sandwich on white toast with no dressing?
00:39:29Wait a minute.
00:39:30Before you go, I would like to know something.
00:39:32In fact, I've reached the point where I must know.
00:39:35You see, everybody on Broadway has turned down my play.
00:39:38Now that I've exhausted the field, I've got to know.
00:39:41Should I try to write another play?
00:39:43Well, I never read your play.
00:39:45You never?
00:39:46Well, how could you turn it down?
00:39:48Because Junior didn't like it.
00:39:50Junior didn't like it?
00:39:51How could you let a thing like that pass judgment on my play?
00:39:55Now, wait a minute, son.
00:39:56Take it easy.
00:39:57Junior has an uncanny eye for anything that looks like a potential hit play.
00:40:01Why, he could get a million jobs tomorrow anyplace on Broadway.
00:40:04But he's my son, and I won't let him go.
00:40:07Junior, tell the gentleman if he has any talent.
00:40:09I don't care what he thinks.
00:40:10Well, you ask me a question.
00:40:12Junior will have to answer you.
00:40:13I can't.
00:40:15All right.
00:40:15I'll take his opinion.
00:40:19So, Eddie asked Junior.
00:40:20But even Junior didn't like it.
00:40:22Nobody liked it.
00:40:23Eddie was a bust.
00:40:24When I met up with him, Eddie had fire coming out of his eyes
00:40:27and smoke coming out of his ears.
00:40:29Hold it, Mike.
00:40:32You better hitch up that third horse.
00:40:42What's more?
00:40:44What's more with what?
00:40:46What's more with a story?
00:40:48How many times does that horse have to kick me before I get the end?
00:40:52Mm-hmm.
00:40:53So far, pal, you've only been riding side saddle.
00:40:55Now we really go places.
00:40:57Because here's where I met up with Eddie.
00:41:00You remember the bellhop?
00:41:02Well, Eddie tried to pass that bar once too often.
00:41:05It was the night that Joe was sick and had asked me to stand in for him.
00:41:11Bartender.
00:41:12Bart.
00:41:14Good evening.
00:41:16Sorry to keep you waiting.
00:41:18I'm just getting ready to close up.
00:41:22Okay, what do you have?
00:41:24Poison.
00:41:25What kind of a chaser?
00:41:27Don't be a comedian.
00:41:29Give me a bourbon and water.
00:41:31A bourbon and water.
00:41:37You can call me Mike.
00:41:39Why?
00:41:40That's my name.
00:41:42Oh.
00:41:48I want a bourbon.
00:41:49Yeah, I know.
00:41:50But I want you to try one of these.
00:41:52It's a little concoction of my own.
00:41:55Look, I ordered a straight bourbon.
00:41:57Yeah, I know.
00:41:58But just try one of these.
00:42:08Now, can I have a straight bourbon?
00:42:21Good, huh?
00:42:24What do they call this drink?
00:42:28Golden horse.
00:42:29All okay, Mike.
00:42:31Let me have another golden horse.
00:42:38You're new around here, aren't you, Mike?
00:42:40Hmm?
00:42:40You're new around here.
00:42:42Oh, yeah.
00:42:43I'm only here for the evening.
00:42:44Joe has a coal.
00:42:45Oh, say, Mike.
00:42:47How do you make this, uh, golden horse?
00:42:50Well, first a little dab of Texas sunshine.
00:42:54Then, some rain.
00:42:58A little hail.
00:43:01Gotta have some hail.
00:43:04Some snow.
00:43:13And then, you make a very tiny waterfall out of it.
00:43:17Just a little titsy one.
00:43:19And you top it off with some good old Mother Earth.
00:43:25I like you, Mike.
00:43:26You've got a great sense of humor.
00:43:28Pour one for yourself.
00:43:31Thanks, Eddie.
00:43:32How'd you know my name was Eddie?
00:43:34Oh, um, he told me when you first came in.
00:43:48Eddie really tied one on that night.
00:43:51Six hours and 12 bars later, I got the whole story.
00:43:56How he cost Perry a job, and how he was the world's worst playwright.
00:44:01Along with it, I got the idea that there might be something I could do for these kids.
00:44:08Smart thing first.
00:44:10Got Eddie sobered up to easy weight.
00:44:13Flat on his back in Prospect Park.
00:44:24Mike.
00:44:25Mike?
00:44:28How is it, Eddie?
00:44:32New world's record for a hangover.
00:44:36Well, the Turkish bath ought to help you a lot.
00:44:38There's one near here, too.
00:44:39Best Turkish bath in Brooklyn.
00:44:41Brooklyn.
00:44:43A truly wondrous place.
00:44:45I thought you'd like it.
00:44:47And Prospect Park.
00:44:51Oh.
00:44:53Oh, I could lie here for hours.
00:44:56It's like Texas.
00:44:58Without the sagebrush.
00:45:02You know what I need?
00:45:04A long ride on a horse.
00:45:07That picks me up.
00:45:09Well, let's try the Turkish bath first.
00:45:13And while we're there, you can get your clothes clean.
00:45:16Then, if you want, you can rent a horse.
00:45:19I'll go along with you on that Turkish bath deal.
00:45:23The horse is out.
00:45:26It's going to be pouring here in a few minutes.
00:45:29I wouldn't take a mule out in such weather.
00:45:31Say, I know where we can rent a horse and the rain won't even touch us.
00:45:34You can have any kind of a gate you want.
00:45:36Fast or slow.
00:45:37Or one that'll rock you like a baby in a cradle.
00:45:40And you can have your Texas sagebrush, too.
00:45:42And where is this heavenly spot?
00:45:44Right here in Brooklyn.
00:45:46This Brooklyn is truly a wondrous place.
00:45:54The Turkish bath was one thing.
00:45:56But this I don't believe.
00:45:58Here I get to ride a horse through sagebrush?
00:46:00Come on, Eddie.
00:46:03So, I took him to Mr. Gabulian's riding academy.
00:46:09It was strictly out of this world.
00:46:12And that included Mr. Gabulian.
00:46:15He was a whacked up guy.
00:46:17A fugitive from Ripley.
00:46:20Wow.
00:46:21What is it?
00:46:22A zoo?
00:46:23Mike, a man of your work.
00:46:25It's all here.
00:46:27I'm wondering if I am.
00:46:28Well, it was a place a man could go when he got fed up working nine to five.
00:46:33But two bits of Mr. Gabulian's, he could live dangerous.
00:46:37Sail the seven seas and track down wild game.
00:46:42Yeah.
00:46:43The academy was something.
00:46:45And it was just what the doctor ordered for the kid.
00:46:48Soon as Eddie got one foot inside the place,
00:46:50I could see his troubles begin to peel off.
00:46:53I give you your choice of any horse in the place.
00:46:56Use that one.
00:47:24Oh, hello, Mr. Gabulian.
00:47:26Sorry to disturb you.
00:47:29Oh, hello, Mr. Gabulian.
00:47:30Meet my friend, Eddie.
00:47:33Eddie and I want to ride your horses.
00:47:35Excuse me, please, gentlemen.
00:47:37The rain was so heavy, so I think nobody comes.
00:47:40So I have me sleep in the house on the elephant.
00:47:44Excuse, gentlemen, please.
00:47:46Please.
00:47:47What's he doing up there?
00:47:49Well,
00:47:57That's Captain Lars Jeanne.
00:48:01He was a real skipper once.
00:48:19That boat teaches you not to become seasick, huh?
00:48:24I guess so.
00:48:32Excuse me, please, gentlemen.
00:48:42Excuse me, please, gentlemen.
00:48:50It's a miserable day out.
00:48:52Oh, sure.
00:48:53It's good that they are here.
00:48:57It's good that they are here.
00:49:06It's good that they are here.
00:49:22Here's what they are!
00:49:37Here's Mr. Robert Bruce McQuirter.
00:49:42He owns a nice birch store on Fulton Street, so every day he rides the camera.
00:49:58He looks like he's having a lot of fun.
00:50:00A lot of fun? That's the only thing that makes him happy.
00:50:10Now, this is to start. When you like it fast, move forward.
00:50:19Boy, Perry would really love this.
00:50:21He'd go crazy for this machinery.
00:50:26Hey, Mike, look at me. Right across West Texas.
00:50:31Come on.
00:50:33Give me your hand.
00:50:35Oh, you're good.
00:50:39Mr. Kaboulian.
00:50:58Yes.
00:50:59I want to make you a business proposition.
00:51:02You see?
00:51:03I want you to hire a young girl to help you run this place.
00:51:05Maybe I better wash my face.
00:51:08My eyes, maybe they are open, but my mind is asleep.
00:51:12Excuse me, please.
00:51:14Mr. Kaboulian.
00:51:16Yes?
00:51:17She'd be wonderful for you.
00:51:19She loves horses and...
00:51:20And she could fix any mechanical gadget in case something should go wrong.
00:51:26You make a joke.
00:51:28Excuse me, please.
00:51:30Mr. Kaboulian.
00:51:32And yes?
00:51:34I mean it more seriously.
00:51:35She would be a real help.
00:51:37Help me what, sir, please?
00:51:39Help me not to see a customer?
00:51:41Help me not to pay the rent?
00:51:43Help me not eat like a man should eat?
00:51:46Help me that way, mister?
00:51:48No.
00:51:49It's not right.
00:51:50You shouldn't make fun of me.
00:51:52Excuse me.
00:51:53I go back to sleep.
00:51:55Mr. Kaboulian.
00:51:59Yes?
00:52:00I know you can't afford it.
00:52:02So I'll give you her salary every week and then you can pay her.
00:52:05In other words, she'll be getting the job on her own.
00:52:07Understand?
00:52:08Why should I go back to sleep?
00:52:11I stand here and I sleep already.
00:52:14Don't you see?
00:52:15This girl needs a job.
00:52:17And I want her to have this one.
00:52:18Here.
00:52:19You'll have someone to help you.
00:52:21And it'll cost you nothing.
00:52:24It will cost me nothing?
00:52:26Absolutely nothing.
00:52:27I'll even pay for the ad in the paper.
00:52:29Wanted.
00:52:30Young girl from Texas.
00:52:31Must know and love all kinds of horses.
00:52:33Must be honor graduate of correspondence course.
00:52:36Now remember, the only one you hire is Perry Telo.
00:52:39Perry Telo?
00:52:40I'll write it all out for you later.
00:52:41What have you got to lose?
00:52:43Just think, Mr. Kaboulian.
00:52:45You can sleep as much as you want.
00:52:47I think it over.
00:52:49What is there to think about?
00:52:52Nothing.
00:52:53Only it makes it sound like better business.
00:52:57So I think it over for a minute, please.
00:52:59Then I give you my answer, which will be yes.
00:53:02Swell.
00:53:06Now, we each put in a nickel to begin with.
00:53:14That's my girls.
00:53:15Now, let me see your hands.
00:53:18Now, you remember you all promised Perry you'd learn to play games.
00:53:22You know how anxious she is to liven up the place.
00:53:24And how are you going to play poker if you don't let me teach you?
00:53:29That's my girl.
00:53:31Well, you have a very bad poker hand, dear.
00:53:33Two, four, seven, ten jacks.
00:53:35Just nothing at all.
00:53:37And if I were you, I'd hold on to this jack, because that's your highest card, see?
00:53:40And ask for four more cards.
00:53:42I'd gladly give them to you.
00:53:43Nice, fresh, new ones.
00:53:45Now, no, you hold on to that, dear.
00:53:48Now, Ruby, let me see what you have.
00:53:51Why, that's wonderful.
00:53:53You've got a pair of fours.
00:53:55Now, if I get a pair of twos or threes, you'll beat me, you see?
00:53:58You see how simple it is to play poker?
00:54:00Now, dear, let's see what you have.
00:54:07Oh.
00:54:08Well, you have a very good hand, dear.
00:54:11Three queens and a pair of aces.
00:54:13A very good hand, indeed.
00:54:15In poker, one must always try to improve one's hand.
00:54:17So, I'd draw away these two aces.
00:54:21And try to buy another queen, because four queens, you see,
00:54:24would give you a perfectly lovely hand.
00:54:27Now, we'll each put in another nickel in order to buy fresh cards.
00:54:32Come along.
00:54:33Oh, how I wish, Perry, we're here to see you at play.
00:54:38Now, three for you.
00:54:39One, two, three.
00:54:41And two for you.
00:54:43One, two.
00:54:45And four for you.
00:54:47One, two, three, four.
00:54:50Now, I'm not taking anything.
00:54:55That's what's called standing pat.
00:54:58Now, we'll all show our hands in order to see who's won.
00:55:03Well, now, come, come, girls.
00:55:05If we don't show our hands, how are we gonna know who's the lucky girl?
00:55:08And the lucky one wins all the money in the center of the table.
00:55:13Now, now, I have a straight.
00:55:17Five, six, seven, eight, nine.
00:55:20Now, you remember what I told you about a straight?
00:55:24I'm gonna be awfully hard to eat.
00:55:27Awfully hard.
00:55:29But that's the game of poker for you.
00:55:31That's what makes it so terribly exciting.
00:55:33Now, let's see, dearest, what you have.
00:55:35Come along.
00:55:37Oh, you're a poor unlucky saint.
00:55:42I haven't got anything, not even a pair.
00:55:45Now, let's see what you have, dear.
00:55:50Well, you still have only a pair of fours.
00:55:53That doesn't beat a straight.
00:55:56Now, dearest, let's see what you have.
00:56:06Four queens.
00:56:08Four of a kind beats a straight.
00:56:10That's what you taught us.
00:56:11I sure enough taught you that.
00:56:13I sure enough did.
00:56:16Well, we'll have to try another time.
00:56:18I've got a job.
00:56:19A new job.
00:56:20A wonderful job.
00:56:21A most heavenly job.
00:56:23Oh, good news is always good news.
00:56:25I'm so happy for you, darling.
00:56:27It's just what I've always wanted.
00:56:29Horses and a camel and an elephant and a lot of other things.
00:56:32I didn't know the circus was in town.
00:56:33It isn't.
00:56:34We always know when it comes.
00:56:35We always get free passes from our grocer, Mr. Brickle.
00:56:38No, no, no.
00:56:39It's a riding academy.
00:56:40And all the animals are mechanical.
00:56:42But they're so lifelike to practically real.
00:56:44And I'm to be executive manager.
00:56:46Isn't that too good to be true?
00:56:47Oh, no.
00:56:49But I've got to have a riding habit.
00:56:51I wouldn't look as if I were running the place unless I did.
00:56:53You know, I've noticed that our dear, dear Chiva sisters are very handy with the sewing machine.
00:56:58We've never made a riding habit.
00:57:00Only Mother Hubbard's.
00:57:01And slipcovers.
00:57:02Yes, but under my supervision, dear girls, you'll make a riding habit.
00:57:06A more than suitable riding habit.
00:57:08But first, let's return all the losers to the losers.
00:57:11You were the only loser.
00:57:13Well, I guess I'll have to teach you how to play gin rummy.
00:57:16There were about 50 other girls for the job, but I got it.
00:57:19All in all, those three girls downstairs clicked me for eight bucks and 40 cents.
00:57:24I tried blackjack, casino, double solitaire.
00:57:27I even invented a game and called it Chuck Full of Luck.
00:57:30But that's a commodity on which the Chiva sisters seem to have a monopoly.
00:57:33But it's worth it.
00:57:34Do you notice how congenial they've become?
00:57:36I knew it would work, and I'm so grateful to you.
00:57:39After all, it's your money, child.
00:57:40If you don't mind spending it trying to warm up those three ice cubes and petticoats, turn around.
00:57:46Not that I think they ever will warm up.
00:57:47Oh, yes, they will.
00:57:49I've already convinced them to come to the academy one of these days and try a ride on the animals.
00:57:53I don't get it.
00:57:55This concern you have for other folks.
00:57:57I don't get it at all.
00:57:59I've met a lot of people in my day, both inside of prisons and outside.
00:58:03But somebody like you, what do you expect to get out of it?
00:58:07Oh, if I make people happy, it makes me feel good, that's all.
00:58:09But what about making yourself happy?
00:58:12But I am, very.
00:58:15I'll let you in on a little secret.
00:58:18You're not.
00:58:19And I'm referring to that certain party named Eddie Taylor.
00:58:23You know, I was in love with my probation officer once.
00:58:26I had such a crush on him, it gave me a thrill just to report to his office.
00:58:30But, of course, I had to curb any display of affection because, after all, he was my probation officer.
00:58:35But you and this Eddie.
00:58:39How do I look?
00:58:40Don't ask me.
00:58:41Ask Eddie Taylor.
00:58:42I'm sorry.
00:58:42I'm sorry.
00:58:43I'm sorry.
00:58:45But, dear child, you interfered in my life, so I feel I have a right to interfere in yours.
00:58:51You did something that state prisons, penitentiaries, small jails and eight parole boards couldn't do.
00:58:59You made an honest woman of him.
00:59:01Of course, there's enough larceny left in me to keep me attractive.
00:59:05But I want to do something for you.
00:59:08May I, sweet?
00:59:12I know what you're going to say.
00:59:14Well, then why don't you do it?
00:59:16I can't.
00:59:17I, I can't now.
00:59:18Not until he's finished his play.
00:59:20Because that's what he wants to do more than anything else in the world.
00:59:23And, and I wouldn't want to, to clutter things up for him.
00:59:27You could help.
00:59:29That's what a woman's for.
00:59:30To make a man think he's successful.
00:59:33Oh, no, no.
00:59:34He, he told me definitely.
00:59:36He works alone.
00:59:37After he's a success in the theater, then maybe...
00:59:43Well, maybe that.
00:59:44Well, I tried to help.
00:59:48But you have.
00:59:51If I was certain.
00:59:53If I were really certain that Eddie wanted me.
00:59:58You know what I mean.
00:59:59Well, the least you can do is to call up that idiot and tell him you're working and where.
01:00:05I'll do it.
01:00:07I'll do it right now.
01:00:12Do you think you'll like me in this outfit?
01:00:14Well, I don't know about him.
01:00:16But a normal male...
01:00:18Well, a normal male would be very normal about it.
01:00:26Eddie.
01:00:32I took the liberty of coming here.
01:00:34You don't have to apologize for visiting me.
01:00:37I'm not apologizing.
01:00:40I came to say goodbye.
01:00:43Goodbye.
01:00:44Goodbye?
01:00:46You mean like...
01:00:48Farewell?
01:00:49I've been wanting to say...
01:00:52Farewell to everyone.
01:00:53To you, to Mike.
01:00:54Except Mike isn't around.
01:00:58So...
01:00:59Farewell, Barry.
01:01:02Farewell, Eddie.
01:01:04And...
01:01:06Goodbye.
01:01:09They turned down your play.
01:01:11And you're giving up?
01:01:14That's not right.
01:01:15You've got to have faith.
01:01:17Particularly in yourself.
01:01:18Faith?
01:01:19Yes, faith.
01:01:20And don't make it sound like some cheap commodity flooding the market.
01:01:24I didn't come here to argue, Perry.
01:01:27Let's part as friends.
01:01:30Now we're partying?
01:01:34After I say goodbye, I...
01:01:39I guess the next step is...
01:01:41For us to part.
01:01:45How do you go about it?
01:01:47Well, I wasn't planning on shaking your hand, if that's what you mean.
01:01:51Of course not.
01:01:52Or...
01:01:53Waving so long, or slapping you on the back.
01:01:56No.
01:01:57That would be in bad taste.
01:02:09You may fall in love with me now.
01:02:11Thanks.
01:02:16Mr. Kaboulian.
01:02:19Yes?
01:02:21I have figured out just how this business should be run.
01:02:24You see?
01:02:25I've made a graph, according to seasonal changes.
01:02:30Excuse please, I go back to sleep.
01:02:33And Mr. Kaboulian.
01:02:37Yes?
01:02:38I have made a very detailed study as to why business has been bad up till now.
01:02:43A study she makes.
01:02:45It's easy like pie.
01:02:47When nobody comes in and uses the machine, then business is bad.
01:02:51So far, six months, one people, three people come in, so I know business is bad.
01:02:56I know it, Mrs. Kaboulian knows it, and all my relations know it.
01:03:01Now she comes and makes it with pen and paper and tells me that business is bad.
01:03:07Big surprise.
01:03:08Excuse please, I go back to sleep.
01:03:13He's upset because I had him print up a thousand handbills to advertise the place.
01:03:18Mandy's going to give them out in various sections of Brooklyn.
01:03:21You think that'll help, huh?
01:03:22Oh, yes.
01:03:23The point is, so few people really know about the Academy.
01:03:26All we have are two regulars like Captain John over there and Robert Bruce McWhirter who comes in every day
01:03:33to ride across the track.
01:03:34Is he still at it?
01:03:36Huh?
01:03:37How did you know about him?
01:03:39I think I'll take a pony ride.
01:03:44Why, Mr. McWhirter, are you going to take another ride today?
01:03:47Indeed I am.
01:03:48I've been feeling restless all day.
01:03:51And I thought, if no one else is going to use it.
01:03:54Oh no, Mr. McWhirter, that camel is yours.
01:04:28I just brought you three more customers.
01:04:30All right, girls, come in.
01:04:35They were a little unwilling at first, but here they are.
01:04:39I'm sure you'll all have a perfectly wonderful time.
01:04:42Why shouldn't they have?
01:04:43I just taught them how to shoot craps.
01:04:45They won close to six dollars from me.
01:04:48And the dice were loaded.
01:04:55I'll give you the finest horses in the stable.
01:04:57Oh, two girls, take this horse.
01:04:58Have a many.
01:04:59Thank you, Adam.
01:05:00We didn't help her.
01:05:01Miss Cheever.
01:05:02All right.
01:05:03Come on over.
01:05:04Stir up.
01:05:05Up, you go.
01:05:06There we are.
01:05:16What did I get?
01:05:17Hold me up.
01:05:20Let's go.
01:05:31Come on.
01:05:35Come on, boy.
01:05:39Wouldn't it be wonderful if we could have business like this every day, all day long?
01:05:44Then you'd be completely happy, huh?
01:05:47Almost, Eddie.
01:05:50If only Gabulion would change the name of the place.
01:05:53Yeah, that's a good idea.
01:05:56I've got a name for you.
01:05:57The Golden Horse Academy.
01:06:01The Golden Horse Academy.
01:06:03It's perfect.
01:06:05It'd be a good name for a ranch, too.
01:06:08Let's figure it out.
01:06:15Come on!
01:06:36What can that be?
01:06:38Maybe they're using too much juice.
01:06:39It could be an overload.
01:06:45Do something!
01:06:46You hear me, Mr. Gabulion?
01:06:48You do something right now!
01:07:26Your surprise!
01:07:28Whoa!
01:07:30Where's the main switch?
01:07:32Yeah!
01:07:37Hey!
01:07:41Whoa!
01:07:43Hey!
01:07:44Whoa!
01:07:45Where's the main switch?
01:07:57The main switch, tell me where it is.
01:07:59The switch.
01:08:03The master!
01:08:06Hey!
01:08:07Parrot!
01:08:09Parrot!
01:08:10Man the lifeboats!
01:08:12You landlubbers!
01:08:14Come with the war beans!
01:08:15Headin' for Davy Jones' locker!
01:08:47What happened, please?
01:08:50What a ride!
01:08:52Too much business.
01:08:55Just too much business.
01:08:57Yes.
01:09:07You still ridin' with me?
01:09:10Leave us having no small talk, pal.
01:09:13You better get that horse goin' again.
01:09:14Mm-hmm.
01:09:16This one you get for free.
01:09:19That's the one I've been waitin' for.
01:09:23Well...
01:09:24By this time, Gabulian had enough and decided to sell the joint.
01:09:28And who do you think bought it?
01:09:30Eddie. And you know why?
01:09:31Just to keep Perry working. Just to give her a job.
01:09:35Of course, Perry didn't know that Eddie sunk his last 800 bucks in it.
01:09:39Eddie and I figured that this academy deal would clear up everything.
01:09:43But the place just didn't seem to catch on.
01:09:46Even with Perry running it and with all the faith he had in it.
01:09:50Christmas Eve came along and Eddie and Perry were only two jumps ahead of the sheriff.
01:09:58Say, what do you think could be happenin' up there at 11 p.m.?
01:10:02That's Gabulian's place, isn't it?
01:10:03Used to be.
01:10:04It's been called the Golden Horse Academy the past couple of weeks.
01:10:07Think maybe they're havin' a Christmas party up there?
01:10:16Lovebirds Joel
01:10:19We had a big party...
01:10:22Where...
01:10:23It was supposed to be big.
01:10:25But we wound up just trying to be gay.
01:10:30Robert Bruce McWhirter showed up, along with a whole gang of Santa Clauses, all members
01:10:37of the Big Brothers of St. Nicholas, South Brooklyn Branch. The old boys rode the stuffing
01:10:44out of the menagerie, but the cash register never rang once.
01:10:56Then, Officer Carmody came in. Well, Merry Christmas, Marcus. I'd like to have you meet my friends, Perry and Eddie.
01:11:03How do you do? How do you do, Marcus?
01:11:07I said I'd like to have you meet my friends, Perry and Eddie.
01:11:09Oh, how do you, how do you do when it very matters to you? I've noticed the lights up here
01:11:14ever since I've been on duty, but I did nothing about it.
01:11:16That's right. Tonight's the night for leaving people alone.
01:11:18Yeah. Then I see what looks to me like a crowd of Santa Clauses come into this building.
01:11:23I follow them in. Get the point? Oh, great work.
01:11:26When I saw his eyes pop at the place jumping with Santa Clauses, something snapped in my noggin.
01:11:32Strange, yes. But nothing that would make me report this incident to headquarters.
01:11:36You see, Christmas Eve is a night for leaving people alone.
01:11:39What do you mean there's nothing wrong?
01:11:41How would a look of a passerby saw them come in and reported it to your superior officer?
01:11:45How would you look if you said you didn't think it was important enough to call the station
01:11:48when you saw a heart of Santa Clauses come in here and take over the writing academy at this time
01:11:52of night?
01:11:52Did you go to check with the sergeant?
01:11:54Is that the sort of thing that happens to you every night?
01:11:56But this is Christmas Eve.
01:11:57Well, does that explain the situation as far as an officer of the law is concerned?
01:12:01Don't let anyone leave. I'm going to call the station.
01:12:05Come with me.
01:12:09Give me the numbers of all the newspapers.
01:12:11Manhattan is Willis, Brooklyn.
01:12:16Hello? City desk, please.
01:12:20Soda, Pop?
01:12:21Yes, dear.
01:12:22I'll have just a tea, see?
01:12:24Well, really, girls, there's a limit to how far we can go.
01:12:27Why?
01:12:28I don't know.
01:12:29Yes.
01:12:30Well, just a few.
01:12:40You sure you're not drunk, Comedy?
01:12:42All right, I'll check on it.
01:12:44I'll check on you at the same time.
01:12:47Sure there's a story in it.
01:12:49Sounds like a lot of human interest.
01:12:51I'll send him in, though.
01:12:54Try it.
01:12:56Well, if you won't help me, I'll call the police commissioner.
01:13:00I tell you, he does this every Christmas Eve, but he always gets home in time for dinner.
01:13:04Something must have happened to him.
01:13:07Here's a newspaper in the book.
01:13:08Well, give it to me.
01:13:09We want complete coverage.
01:13:11Fifty Santa Clauses?
01:13:13This time of the night?
01:13:15Have you got the address?
01:13:17Yes, Alice, I've already called the police.
01:13:20Oh, you have, too?
01:13:22But what could have happened to them?
01:13:24We just got a tip about a hundred Santa Clauses, all drunk, running wild, someplace in Brooklyn.
01:13:30Yes, lady, I got all that.
01:13:31Now, how was your husband dressed?
01:13:34Oh, like Santa Claus, huh?
01:13:37Maybe he got stuck down the wrong chimney.
01:13:41Now, look, lady, don't take it so serious.
01:13:43We'll find your husband, all right.
01:13:46No sense of humor.
01:13:48Gin.
01:14:00Now, listen to me.
01:14:02Listen to me, all of you.
01:14:04Your wives and your children, your friends and your neighbors, burning up the telephone wires,
01:14:08asking if any of you is behind bars at the police station,
01:14:11or lying all torn to pieces on a hospital bed,
01:14:14or stretched stone dead on a coal slab in the morgue.
01:14:17Well, are you?
01:14:20Santa, I got a list of names to check on.
01:14:22You lads are going home right away.
01:14:24Big smile now.
01:14:25Oh, come on, bigger than that.
01:14:27Just smile.
01:14:27There we are.
01:14:29You know, um, with this publicity and everything, you have here a pretty valuable piece of property.
01:14:36Well, Achiever sisters want to buy it.
01:14:38What do you think, Perry?
01:14:40We could always use the money to buy a ranch.
01:14:43In Texas, perhaps.
01:14:45I merely offer it as a suggestion.
01:14:53We'll raise herds of golden horses, Eddie.
01:14:56Real golden horses.
01:14:58Maybe 50 of them to begin with.
01:15:00And a lot of little golden coat.
01:15:02A hundred golden horses, Perry.
01:15:04To begin with.
01:15:05And after that, well, maybe many more.
01:15:08You know, my grandfather used to have several thousand on his ranch.
01:15:12Eddie Taylor, now don't you start pretending.
01:15:20And so, Eddie and Perry got their ranch.
01:15:23Which is what they both wanted all the time.
01:15:26Now, in Texas, babies come on golden horses.
01:15:30None of that stock business in Texas.
01:15:33No, sir.
01:15:34And that whole ranch was loaded with golden horses.
01:15:39You expect me to believe all that?
01:15:45How'd you like the drink?
01:15:47Fine.
01:15:52Didn't even feel them.
01:15:56Come on, Mike.
01:16:01So long.
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