- 2 days ago
Three Men, One Secret is a classic 1950 comedy with a touch of film noir, mystery, romance, and unexpected twists. As secrets begin to surface, relationships become complicated and hidden truths create a series of entertaining situations. Starring Eve Arden, this vintage film delivers a charming blend of humor, drama, and classic Hollywood atmosphere.
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00:06:11supermarket on the way home here you are what's this max left that for you but I
00:06:17thought the world was to be read isn't that why tomorrow I'll let you know the
00:06:20time
00:06:44yesterday I remember you know what's in this letter no as executor I was instructed to
00:06:53hand it to you not bad news though oh no nothing like that just about the business well I'd better
00:06:57be getting off working now I'll phone you about the will yes the world oh yes sir well bye bye
00:07:11must be good news get it won't be too long then good afternoon Miss Randall
00:07:40going down
00:08:15what a guy imagine him pulling a gag like this even on the day of his funeral gang sure I
00:08:22got a
00:08:23nose for it I can smell a gag ten miles away and that's what this is and I'll tell you
00:08:26something
00:08:27else that would told me everything else okay so I'm wasting your time bill me I can afford even
00:08:32your fees you don't think it's money yeah well yeah you didn't know max the way I admire your
00:08:37sporting spirit now you're talking that with a natural born sport that's me and a great sense
00:08:43of humor that'll pull you through anything okay I won't waste any more of your valuable time you
00:08:49gotta see a man about a horse a bookie forgot something what oh yeah I got to show this to
00:08:56somebody who my wife she got a great kick out of this well Lucille's got an even better sense of
00:09:14humor me what's the matter Kenny bad nose okay none of my business wait a minute Joe read that
00:09:27dear Kenneth your wife and I what'd you do if somebody said that about your wife my wife
00:09:41impossible why she ain't got the time you know what I'd do if I was you I'd beat the living
00:09:48bejeebers out
00:09:48of a guy like that wish I could well why can't you a big guy like you it's not that
00:09:53well suppose
00:09:53he's smaller suppose he's weaker he deserves it don't he I can't well now why can't you just answer
00:09:58me that why not he's dead well but look what he done to you dead well in that case there's
00:10:08only one
00:10:09thing you can do now what there was another party involved wasn't there oh I don't beat women oh neither
00:10:15do I only when it's necessary
00:10:38Jane good afternoon mr. Evans isn't mrs. Evans here didn't you give her my message she didn't call you're sure
00:10:45you don't know where she is she usually tells you doesn't she she didn't
00:10:47tell me why not suppose one of the children got sick what would you do I'd phone the doctor haven't
00:10:52you any idea where she might be usually Fridays go on she went to the symphony concert with poor mr.
00:11:01Mac why do you talk about him all the time oh I'm so sorry mr. Evans I know how badly
00:11:07you must feel about poor mr.
00:11:09don't mention that name again
00:11:39no no no no it's not possible why are you so smart you have a very attractive wife it can't
00:11:46be are you afraid to remember think about it think back
00:12:03after I have a feeling I've caught you bluffing what makes you think so you know you ought never to
00:12:08try to
00:12:08conceal your feelings you haven't got a poker face you know what I'm going to do I'm going to raise
00:12:14you again
00:12:27you might give us a look for our investment not only all life two things one must be reckless about
00:12:33poker the
00:12:35women you want to know you're lucky with both well deal me out of this will you oh hello my
00:12:42dear
00:12:42hey Max is she pretty of course she's pretty what do you think well well it's true isn't it got
00:12:49a nice day
00:12:49mm-hmm tell me about it she's married oh no hey Max see you got a friend tall and skinny
00:12:57with good legs
00:13:00yes yes she married she's alone you got a bottle what do you think I'll toss you don't risk your
00:13:07money he's bragging
00:13:08sorry what disturbing me no on the contrary you're rescuing me from a bunch of second-hand Romeos
00:13:20oh don't you be so smart boys there's plenty I could teach you cut-rate casanova do you hear that
00:13:28hmm yes yes of course have a right right thank you for calling that all right goodbye
00:13:34why do you suppose he's never gotten married that he don't like dames you're absolutely right old boy I
00:13:39like women far too much of it to make wives of them what's wrong with wives husband oh nothing
00:13:45not for me I gotta go home break it up oh it's early yet it's after two he's got a
00:13:50bunch of time clock
00:13:51when he goes home I wish I did there he's on night duty why isn't I married a trained nurse
00:13:56you're
00:13:56trying going home to an empty apartment at least you don't have to lie when you get in late gentlemen
00:14:00I beg of your marriage is a sacred institution I agree with you Jane and I have never found it
00:14:04necessary to lie to each other they aren't what do you do for fun they didn't you ever tell it
00:14:09doesn't want a little studied honor at Harvard sorry Arthur no nightcap for you Jane just said
00:14:14to remember your stomach what was that Jane look Max I want to talk to you before I leave about
00:14:19those
00:14:19new posters Arthur aren't you going to ask me why your wife should bring me up at this time of
00:14:22night to tell you the latest bright things of your godchildren or that Mozart is being played on
00:14:26station KXXY you underestimate your wife's emotional quality Jane is a very sentimental woman
00:14:32well what did she want to remind you to take your pills that's Jane for you she's happiest when we're
00:14:38all tucked in bed at 8 30 with hot milk come off it Arthur you'll love going to bed at
00:14:438 30 with hot
00:14:44milk you seem to forget that I'm in the office every morning at 9 I'll take out on whose wife
00:14:49it is
00:14:49this time tell her I left 20 minutes ago wait I'll write down with you how do we go hello
00:14:57and no dear
00:14:59he hasn't been here all evening well I would know where he is I was probably with a woman that'll
00:15:06put
00:15:06her in that place oh Arthur I really will try and come and see you tomorrow in the office you'd
00:15:10better
00:15:10Max we're way behind schedule on that new design well if he's not home with you in 10 minutes time
00:15:14uh you ring me up and I'll come along and put so dear what you say all right yes goodbye
00:15:19I'm glad
00:15:20you reminded me Arthur I've got just the artist for you meet us at five o'clock tomorrow Guglielmo's
00:15:26bar I'll be there is Matilda Clay but she signs herself just Matilda very chic nowadays in her profession
00:15:35oh Max how do you do how do you do well I never thought Max's artist would be like you
00:15:40that's very
00:15:41conventional does an artist have to wear smocks and have untidy hair why not conventional it's
00:15:48just that you were such a pleasant surprise you're very good luck well he's the salons a lot of the
00:15:52suburbs well let's not pay any attention to him my dear I wouldn't like you to misunderstand Arthur
00:15:57he's interested in you as an artist she's very good too in spite of her appearance oh I like her
00:16:02appearance she's she's she's very nice there you see don't you let yourself be taken in she likes to
00:16:09drink with her gloves on because it makes her feel like an adventurous isn't he wicked joking
00:16:16apart though she is clever and she does need the work I have a feeling she'd make a first trade
00:16:20job of
00:16:21those posters I'm sure she would thank you would you like me to leave now or shall we discuss the
00:16:29project we might do that over dinner I'll go and see what old Guglielmo's got in his refrigerator shall I
00:16:39tell me about your work well there isn't much to tell really Max thinks differently I'd love to show
00:16:44you my drawing I'd love to see them when whenever you'd like the sooner the better my studio is not
00:16:51far
00:16:51from here North Beach well that's right on my way home perhaps I could take you there tonight why not
00:17:00excuse me will you oh Arthur I congratulate you you've succeeded in getting her to take off one glove
00:17:05which is further than she's ever gone with me do the Guglielmo's found some small squad chickens even
00:17:11tenderer than Matilda just get Jane to join the showy oh well I'll call her oh no no I'll take
00:17:18care of it
00:17:18excuse me I'm dying I'm just dying now my dear control yourself will you the purpose of this
00:17:30meeting was purely professional he looks wistful he's very unhappy Matilda when you feel one of these
00:17:36sentimental romantic urges coming on why don't you take up an old bachelor like me I never take up oh
00:17:43sorry I'm very sincere that's why I don't fall in love with you Max frivolous men don't touch me too
00:17:50bad
00:17:50would you like to see a picture of my god children no but they're handsome through the change their
00:17:56mother and she's also Arthur's wife they've been married for nine years and they have never told each
00:18:03other a lie mm-hmm why do you carry another man's wife in your wallet Max oh is Jane coming
00:18:11she's very
00:18:12sorry but it's the maid's night out and there's no one to stay with the children oh too bad poor
00:18:16things that means you'll have to go back and keep her company won't it oh never mind another time
00:18:21one more squab chicken for us eh oh I'm so sorry darling I neglected to tell you I have another
00:18:28day
00:18:46good morning good morning dear I hate to do this to you but it's later than you think oh no
00:18:53you don't
00:18:55already let you sleep the absolute limit come on now up to go hey open up how many fingers huh
00:19:02six oh darling
00:19:06hangover late conference these dear never lied to each other before and let's not start now yeah Max
00:19:14called me up and told me everything I can see by your face you were very guilty conscience come on
00:19:23dear take your pill you'll feel a lot better how much did you lose what's the matter with you anyway
00:19:34are you so in love with that game you have to play poker two nights in succession
00:19:39well not to blame you playing with Max he's such fun is that uh all he told you oh what
00:19:48else is that a
00:19:48well nothing nothing oh so you did lose I didn't lose at all as a matter of fact I won
00:19:56won and I'm
00:20:00going to take my best girl out on my winnings we'll have lunch at the palace oh darling I think
00:20:08I may
00:20:08get to like this game oh oh I'm sorry dear but I can't go why not today's Friday Friday symphony
00:20:18oh yes you know how Max loathes being late for the symphony hmm so you're going with him again huh
00:20:28uh-huh do you mind why should I well you know Max's reputation he doesn't feel that way about you
00:20:37he values
00:20:39you for your intellect. My intellect hmm?
00:21:01Before you before me. Before you I never met such a place love.
00:21:09Solitaire, désiré, sans but. Famille des jours et des nuits sans fin.
00:21:15Cherchant, cherchant un idéal sans jamais le trouver. Tu comprends?
00:21:19Oui, voilà.
00:21:21Mais je sens que tu comprends. C'est la lettre affamée, brûlée par une soie insasiale, errant, errant dans des
00:21:30vignes aux vignoles.
00:21:32Plein de graves succulents, mais les voyants sans jamais les désirer.
00:21:38Ma faim devenait plus exigeante et ma soie plus ardente.
00:21:42Tu comprends?
00:21:44Oui, voilà.
00:21:48Alors? Alors tu es mésapparée?
00:21:51Alors tu es mésapparée?
00:21:54Oui, voilà.
00:21:55Et subitement, subitement, la nourriture, la poisson reprirent leur sens pour moi.
00:22:02La lumière, l'espace, l'existence, rejoignent leur place dans le monde universel.
00:22:10Fini les cauchemars la nuit, les angoisses sur ma lierre.
00:22:16Une seule chose comptait pour moi, c'était de voir s'écouler plus vite les heures qui nous séparèrent.
00:22:24Mais tout cela, c'est une histoire ancienne.
00:22:27Oublions le souci et le tracate, alors une seule chose compte maintenant, c'est l'avenir.
00:22:35En ce qui me concerne, je connais un petit village sur la côte d'Azur, pas loin de Tamaris.
00:22:41Des maisons aux toits rouges, des grands arbres, des paparasols.
00:22:47Oh, pas de grandes plages mondaines, ni de casinos, non.
00:22:51Mais des petits criques au sable fin.
00:22:54Où l'on peut vraiment oublier le monde civilisé.
00:22:59Je ne puis pas imaginer de meilleur endroit au monde
00:23:02pour commencer une vie heureuse, tout l'été.
00:23:05Veux-tu venir avec moi?
00:23:07Ah oui, mon amour.
00:23:08Bienvenue!
00:23:19Bienvenue!
00:23:23Bienvenue, Annette.
00:23:35Bienvenue!
00:23:35Bienvenue!
00:23:37You can certainly never see anything like that in an American film.
00:23:44Arthur!
00:23:45Mr. Mascara.
00:23:48Arthur!
00:23:50Your French is so emotional.
00:23:52Shall we go?
00:23:53And miss the cartoon?
00:23:55Well, he's getting home.
00:23:56Why, weren't you worried about Arthur striding up and down, eating his heart out?
00:24:00Well, he could surprise me.
00:24:04It's called Love in the Blood.
00:24:06It's a French picture.
00:24:07They talk French in it, but it tells you underneath what it means.
00:24:10Even if it didn't, you'd understand it all right.
00:24:12And this guy is absolutely sensational.
00:24:16He's a kind of romantic type, but with muscles, you know.
00:24:19There's a scene in it that's so terrific, he grabs this girl and he says,
00:24:23Mon amour, je t'adore.
00:24:26Je t'adore.
00:24:27Oh, I tell you, I got chills.
00:24:30The girl was good, too.
00:24:33What did she say?
00:24:34She said, oui, mon amour.
00:24:37She'd had a lot of trouble in the picture.
00:24:39I tell you, I've seen it three times already, and every time I bawl like a baby.
00:24:42You ought to see it, Jane. You would love it.
00:24:45You would really love it.
00:24:46I know I would.
00:24:48You ought to take her sometime.
00:24:49Oh, I will. I certainly will.
00:24:51Gee, I'd like to learn French.
00:24:53I got an idea they don't translate some of the best parts.
00:24:56Absolutely right.
00:24:57Would you like me to teach you French?
00:24:58Would you, Max?
00:24:59Oh, I'd be delighted, of course.
00:25:01Oh, George, have you got any beer?
00:25:03Yes, ma'am.
00:25:03How do you like that?
00:25:04They serve champagne.
00:25:05My wife wants beer.
00:25:06I happen to like beer.
00:25:08So do I.
00:25:09Draw two, George.
00:25:09Yes, sir.
00:25:11Oh, just a minute, please.
00:25:18Come in, darling.
00:25:20Dear Max.
00:25:21Oh, dear Matilda.
00:25:24How nice it all looks.
00:25:26Well, how nice of you to say so.
00:25:33Now, this, everybody, is Miss Matilda Clay, a young lady.
00:25:35Mary seems to be enjoying herself.
00:25:38Why shouldn't she, Mother?
00:25:40I didn't know she was so fond of music.
00:25:42Oh, she's over.
00:25:44I'm awfully bad.
00:25:44This is Mrs. Werdemann.
00:25:49I could listen to a piano all night.
00:25:52Too bad your husband doesn't play.
00:25:53Oh.
00:25:55Putting in dance.
00:25:56Do you mind if I steal her?
00:25:57No, I'll furnish the accompaniment.
00:25:59Thanks.
00:26:02And this is a great friend of mine, Jane Evans.
00:26:04How do you do?
00:26:05Her husband, I think you know.
00:26:07Oh, this is an unexpected pleasure.
00:26:09I've heard so much about you.
00:26:11About me?
00:26:12My husband's simply mad about your work.
00:26:15As a matter of fact, so am I.
00:26:17Your posters are simply magnificent.
00:26:20Haven't I seen you somewhere, Mrs. Evans?
00:26:22It's a spot of caviar, don't you think?
00:26:24Say, two girls need to start with your work.
00:26:26You'll have to watch your step, my pretty.
00:26:30I'm dying.
00:26:31Well, I've heard you die so often.
00:26:33I can't believe you can be serious this time.
00:26:35You think you're so subtle having us both to your silly party?
00:26:37I'm not going to be influenced, I assure you.
00:26:39That's an important dress.
00:26:40Must have cost $200.
00:26:42No wonder he's always worrying about money.
00:26:44You don't seem to realize we're both sincere.
00:26:46My dear, if you could just manage.
00:26:47You see, I'm not really very bright.
00:26:48If you could manage to have your remarks follow each other
00:26:50in some sort of logical sequence.
00:26:52I know why you did it.
00:26:53To show me the good wife whose life I'm destroying.
00:26:55What about my life?
00:26:57Your life?
00:26:58Well, a minute ago you were dying.
00:27:00Poor little Mathilda.
00:27:01Don't pity me.
00:27:02It's glorious to love.
00:27:04Glorious to love?
00:27:05Haven't I had that remark before somewhere?
00:27:07In a French movie?
00:27:08I think I hate you.
00:27:10Oh, I'm sorry, because I like you very much.
00:27:12You hate me.
00:27:13If you liked me sincerely, you'd have some sympathy
00:27:15instead of treating me like a homewrecker.
00:27:17A homewrecker?
00:27:17Anybody think you had a guilty conscience?
00:27:19I've always treated you like a naughty child,
00:27:21which is exactly what you are.
00:27:23Do nothing to be ashamed of.
00:27:25Can I help it if I'm in love?
00:27:26Oh, I thought it was something serious.
00:27:28No, there is somebody here that I would like you to meet.
00:27:30He's a composer.
00:27:30He's just back from Paris.
00:27:32He's talented, and once more he's unattached.
00:27:35He's that handsome young man at the piano.
00:27:37That infant?
00:27:38Really?
00:27:39I never thought you'd do anything so often, isn't it?
00:27:43You will?
00:27:43No, it's not funny.
00:27:45Should I help that?
00:27:46Yeah, I'll help you, Max.
00:27:47Danny, do you think the moment has come for our silly number?
00:27:49Well, do you think they can stand it?
00:27:51Oh, who cares about them?
00:27:52We enjoy ourselves, don't we?
00:27:54So let me know, everybody.
00:27:57I heard that.
00:28:03Anything wrong?
00:28:04Oh, darling, I'm in despair.
00:28:05Please, Matilda, indiscretion will get us nowhere.
00:28:08Where are we now?
00:28:09Hiding in corners, sneaking down side streets?
00:28:12As if I were ashamed of loving you.
00:28:14And this, this is the last straw.
00:28:18A husband brought two tickets home
00:28:21to take his wife to Tosca.
00:28:30I found the note which told him the...
00:28:34Quote?
00:28:34I am out with your friend, Oscar.
00:28:39Oscar.
00:28:41Oscar.
00:28:42Oscar.
00:28:43Unquote.
00:28:44Poor chap.
00:28:46Poor chap.
00:28:47This party.
00:28:48I'm sure he just gave it to humiliate me.
00:28:51Don't be absurd.
00:28:52Max has a birthday every year.
00:28:53He always throws a party.
00:28:55Men can be so cruel and blind.
00:28:57Why must you always exaggerate?
00:28:59Blood, there's a limit to my endurance.
00:29:01I can't go on like this any longer.
00:29:04You've got to decide now.
00:29:06Tonight.
00:29:07Oh, darling.
00:29:08I don't care if we never go to Paris.
00:29:10I don't have to live on the left bank.
00:29:13I could live in an American suburb with you.
00:29:16You've got to tell her.
00:29:17You can't do a thing like that quickly.
00:29:20There's too much involved.
00:29:21Five months isn't quickly.
00:29:23We've been married eight years.
00:29:24I can't hurt her.
00:29:26She's never hurt you, I suppose.
00:29:28If you really knew her, you wouldn't ask ridiculous questions.
00:29:34Poor chap.
00:29:36Poor chap.
00:29:37Poor chap.
00:29:38Poor husband's all.
00:29:39Eh, Max?
00:29:46Just because she's your wife, she's no holier than other women.
00:29:49What are you implying?
00:29:51Can't you see it with your own eyes?
00:29:52They're old friends.
00:29:54Ask her where she was last Friday afternoon.
00:29:56You're getting hysterical.
00:29:57Please, you're hurting me.
00:29:59You're angry with me now.
00:30:00You hate me.
00:30:01Oh, don't be a little fool.
00:30:03I guess it doesn't matter how much you hurt me.
00:30:06I want to make you happy.
00:30:08Believe me, darling.
00:30:09Both of you.
00:30:10Then I'm afraid you'll have to face the truth.
00:30:12She goes to the symphony on Friday.
00:30:14And after the symphony?
00:30:15I assure you I'm not the least worried about it.
00:30:18Why not?
00:30:19Are you afraid to know?
00:30:20Oh, don't be a little fool.
00:30:23What?
00:30:23I'm tired of having to beat about the bush while our love is sacrificed.
00:30:27If you don't ask her, I will.
00:30:30Matilda!
00:30:32Yes.
00:30:33It's the restaurant.
00:30:34Let's welcome.
00:30:35Hi.
00:30:36A gentle snack bar, everybody.
00:30:38Come on.
00:30:39Come on.
00:30:40Follow me.
00:30:41Now, let's spread it for you.
00:30:42Max, absolutely.
00:30:44Nobody does like as beautifully as you.
00:30:45See, I don't need a wife, do I?
00:30:47Oh.
00:30:47I beg your pardon?
00:30:48I'm not crowding you, am I?
00:30:50Oh, not at all.
00:30:51There's plenty of room.
00:30:51A little white meat themselves, please.
00:30:53Oh.
00:30:53Don't you just adore things in Aspix?
00:30:55If you mean just a jellied salad, send me.
00:30:57Definitely not.
00:30:58Your face is so familiar.
00:30:59I know I've seen this.
00:31:00Excuse me.
00:31:01Oh, hello, dear.
00:31:03Arthur Evans, are you trying to break up our marriage?
00:31:05Mm-hmm.
00:31:06Well, I don't know if we ever even looked at another lobster.
00:31:08It was grounds for divorce.
00:31:09Don't you remember what happened last time?
00:31:11Now I know where I saw you last Friday.
00:31:13I think I will have some lobster after all.
00:31:15I'm sure it was just my imagination last time.
00:31:17Now, dear, may I give you some advice?
00:31:19If you ever marry, pick a man with a strong stomach.
00:31:22A great love overlooks trifles.
00:31:24Oh, well, if you'd lived with him for eight years,
00:31:26you'd hardly call Arthur's stomach a trifle.
00:31:28Couldn't we talk about something else?
00:31:30We could talk about the three days you spent in the hospital.
00:31:31Let him go to the hospital again,
00:31:33and we'll have as much fun as we had last time, hmm?
00:31:35Oh, man.
00:32:04Hello, dear.
00:32:05You're home already?
00:32:07Oh, I got the tickets saved.
00:32:08They were wonderful about it.
00:32:09Stop chattering.
00:32:11Arthur, what's wrong?
00:32:12It isn't the children.
00:32:13Doesn't your conscience tell you?
00:32:15My checking account isn't overdrawn.
00:32:16Don't look so innocent, you.
00:32:19You...
00:32:20Jezebel!
00:32:21Arthur!
00:32:29Well, come to any conclusions?
00:32:31Yeah, give me another drink.
00:32:33Oh, this ain't gonna do you any good, Ken.
00:32:35Might make you feel a little better up to a point,
00:32:37but conclusions...
00:32:38Uh-uh.
00:32:39Okay, okay.
00:32:40I don't know what to believe.
00:32:42I don't know.
00:32:45Yes, you do know.
00:32:48You've always believed it.
00:32:51After all, she was my nurse.
00:32:55Do you remember?
00:32:58Think back.
00:33:01So there I found myself at last, in the promised land.
00:33:04Columbus, Ohio.
00:33:05Among my American cousins.
00:33:07I'd been expecting cowboys and Indians.
00:33:09What did I find?
00:33:10Your mother-in-law.
00:33:11Oh.
00:33:11Only just as pretty then as you are now.
00:33:14Well, not quite so pretty.
00:33:15Oh, do tell us more.
00:33:16Hello, Ken.
00:33:16You're early, aren't you?
00:33:17Yeah, we didn't expect you till six.
00:33:19If I'm interrupting a tender moment, I can leave.
00:33:21Oh, no, no, no.
00:33:23You must enjoy working overtime.
00:33:25Mm-hmm.
00:33:25Will I have to pay a time and a half?
00:33:26You bet you do.
00:33:27Oh, don't be silly.
00:33:28I wouldn't stick around if I didn't love it so.
00:33:31Doesn't Max look wonderful?
00:33:32He's the healthiest looking invalid I ever saw.
00:33:35Shall I tell you something?
00:33:35I'd be putting the whole thing on so as to keep this radiant creature near me.
00:33:39Oh, Max.
00:33:40Let me tell you something.
00:33:41I believe it.
00:33:41You ought to be grateful for my heart attacks.
00:33:43If it hadn't been for your ailing cousin, you'd never have met her, wouldn't you?
00:33:47And when you snatched it away from me, I wasn't too pleased either.
00:33:49Were you jealous?
00:33:50Max, were you jealous?
00:33:52Jealous?
00:33:52You know perfectly well that when he first met you, you and I were madly in love with each
00:33:56other.
00:33:57Oh, you want me to get a heart attack too?
00:33:58Oh, just keep this up.
00:33:59I love it.
00:34:00I bet you do.
00:34:01You about ready?
00:34:02Mm-hmm, I'm all packed.
00:34:02Now, you're breaking my heart and it's in pretty bad shape already.
00:34:05I shall probably have a relapse.
00:34:07Oh, how can I thank you enough?
00:34:08The only way that you can thank me is by taking care of yourself.
00:34:11Hmm?
00:34:11Now, you'll remember your promise.
00:34:12If at any time you feel even, even slightly uncomfortable, I want you to call me.
00:34:17I don't care if it's day or night.
00:34:19Oh, sure.
00:34:193 a.m., 4, 5?
00:34:21Call me and I'll be there in 15 minutes.
00:34:23Just like that.
00:34:24Now, you're making promises and rash ones too.
00:34:27What happens the night when I'm feeling perfectly well, only just a little bit bored?
00:34:31Oh, it'll be a pleasure.
00:34:33Hey, break it up.
00:34:35It's a date.
00:34:35We'll be late.
00:34:36Oh, we've got plenty of time.
00:34:39Hey, what's that?
00:34:40Isn't it beautiful?
00:34:42Where'd you get it?
00:34:43A grateful patient.
00:34:53Surprise!
00:34:58Surprise.
00:35:01Oh, that funny man's here again.
00:35:03What have you got?
00:35:04Uh-uh.
00:35:04What did you bring me?
00:35:05Uh-uh.
00:35:05Payment in advance.
00:35:07Oh.
00:35:09Oh, Ken, an orchid.
00:35:11Happy second anniversary.
00:35:12Oh, I haven't had an orchid in years.
00:35:14I'll wear it tonight.
00:35:16Wait, wait.
00:35:16That's not all I've got.
00:35:19Oh, another present.
00:35:20Madam, you have a doting and extravagant husband.
00:35:23I thought we weren't going to spend any money on presents.
00:35:26What?
00:35:27Huh?
00:35:29Why'd you get me?
00:35:31Well, it's not a diamond wrist lot.
00:35:33Oh, Ken.
00:35:34Oh.
00:35:38Hey, mine's bigger than yours.
00:35:40Well, mine's imported.
00:35:43Mmm.
00:35:46Smell.
00:35:48Mmm, yummy.
00:35:53Ooh!
00:35:55On your way!
00:35:56Oh, yeah.
00:35:57Our reservation's at Louie's.
00:35:59We're going to stop at the top of the mark for cocktails.
00:36:02And that's only a beginning.
00:36:04Ken, do you know what I'm thinking?
00:36:06What?
00:36:07That will cost an awful lot of money.
00:36:09Well, I thought you wanted to go out.
00:36:11Oh, but we haven't spent an evening alone, just the two of us, for such a long time.
00:36:17Holy cat, I've been trying all day to figure out how to sell you that idea.
00:36:20I was afraid to mention it.
00:36:21And I thought you wanted to go out.
00:36:23Oh!
00:36:25Oh, I've got a little chicken ready for the broiler.
00:36:28And champagne on ice.
00:36:30I'll build a fire.
00:36:32Champagne?
00:36:33Uh-huh.
00:36:37Where'd you get that?
00:36:39Max gave it to me, don't you remember?
00:36:41Oh, yeah.
00:36:43Let's drink the whole bottle by ourselves.
00:36:47Oh.
00:36:48Uh, did you talk to Mother today?
00:36:51What do you think?
00:36:52Did you tell her we were going out?
00:36:53I told her we were going out.
00:36:55Was she, uh, angry?
00:36:57Well, if she was, she's too much of a lady to mention it.
00:37:00We'd be entitled to one evening alone on our anniversary.
00:37:04But if we stay home and don't ask her, she'll be terribly upset.
00:37:13Hurry up! Let's go!
00:37:14We'll be late!
00:37:17Coming!
00:37:24I'll open the champagne.
00:37:26We're out.
00:37:31Uh-oh.
00:37:37Uh-oh.
00:37:38We'll just keep on ringing all evening, Mr. Buss.
00:37:41I'll tell them I'm not taking any calls tonight.
00:37:43I don't trust you.
00:37:44Remember what happened last time old Mr. White was, uh, Fenifus?
00:37:47All right.
00:37:48You answer it.
00:37:49Tell them I'm out.
00:37:50If they know definitely they can't get me, well, they'll call another nurse.
00:37:53Tell them yourself.
00:37:54You're a big girl now.
00:37:54You know how to say no.
00:37:56Go on.
00:37:57I want to see how much our anniversary means to you.
00:38:02Hello?
00:38:04Are we lucky?
00:38:06Saved by the bell.
00:38:10I'll get the chicken ready.
00:38:12I'll open the champagne.
00:38:13No, you make yourself comfortable.
00:38:14I'll take care of everything.
00:38:15Okay, I'll get shaved.
00:38:17I thought we weren't going out.
00:38:19We're not.
00:38:21Hey, hey, phone Louise and cancel our reservation, will you?
00:38:24All right.
00:38:29Hello?
00:38:31Yes, this is Mary.
00:38:34Oh, hello.
00:38:36No, not tonight.
00:38:38It's our anniversary.
00:38:40Oh, I'm...
00:38:42I'm terribly sorry to hear that.
00:38:46Well, I know, but...
00:38:48But couldn't you...
00:38:51Oh.
00:38:52Well, I'll be there in 15 minutes.
00:38:56Ken, listen.
00:38:56I won't be gone long.
00:38:57If you just let me explain...
00:38:58You've explained it now.
00:38:59Now I know how much our anniversary means to you.
00:39:02But...
00:39:02But this is serious.
00:39:02Show me the details.
00:39:03I've been hearing them for two years.
00:39:05I know all the answers.
00:39:06I know all the answers by now.
00:39:06If you just let me explain.
00:39:07Why bother?
00:39:08Your patient's waiting.
00:39:09Oh.
00:39:11Who is it this time?
00:39:13An old man, 94 years old, dying of double blood pressure with a touch of fungus?
00:39:18Bad case, huh?
00:39:19No one else can save him.
00:39:20Only Mary.
00:39:20Our Mary Whittaker.
00:39:22Always obeys the call of duty.
00:39:24Said it all wrong.
00:39:25My patient's not an old man.
00:39:27He's young and handsome.
00:39:29Divorced three times in a regular playboy.
00:39:31He's not sick at all.
00:39:32He's crazy about registered nurses.
00:39:34Always gives them gold things and emeralds to the ones that he likes best.
00:39:38I've been waiting months for this call.
00:39:40Maybe that's not all kidding.
00:39:41What makes you think it is?
00:39:43And cook that chicken whenever you want to because I probably won't be back all night.
00:40:02Happy anniversary.
00:40:08Hello, son.
00:40:09Hello, mother.
00:40:11Isn't Mary here?
00:40:13No, she went out.
00:40:14Emergency call.
00:40:15On your anniversary.
00:40:18I thought you were going to have dinner in a restaurant.
00:40:21Want me to fix something for you?
00:40:23No, she'll be back in an hour.
00:40:24Better let me fix you a little supper.
00:40:26Remember the last emergency?
00:40:28What was it this time?
00:40:30I didn't ask.
00:40:32Couldn't be too much of an emergency for only an hour.
00:40:36You want a drink, mother?
00:40:38I thought you were saving this for some special occasion.
00:40:41Isn't this my anniversary?
00:40:43Perhaps I will have a little sip with you, son, to cheer you up.
00:40:47Here's to you, son.
00:40:48May the later years of your marriage be happier.
00:40:52We're doing all right now, mother.
00:40:55Did Max call again?
00:40:57No, he called at all.
00:40:58Just before you came in, she didn't answer and he called me.
00:41:01He seemed very anxious to get hold of her.
00:41:03Why didn't you tell her?
00:41:05You know Max, he usually gets what he wants.
00:41:08Is he ill again?
00:41:10I can't take Max's heart attacks too seriously.
00:41:13He always seems to recover so quickly.
00:41:16Mother, you know he's got a bad heart.
00:41:18Oh, can't I have my opinion?
00:41:21She's with old Mr. White.
00:41:22He's 75.
00:41:23He's got high blood pressure.
00:41:24I thought you didn't know what the emergency was about.
00:41:27Then there's nothing for you to worry about.
00:41:28Who said I was worried?
00:41:30Don't shout at me, son.
00:41:31I'm not deaf.
00:41:31She's not with Max, mother.
00:41:33I know she isn't.
00:41:33Who ever said she was?
00:41:36Well, not in a very good mood, are you?
00:41:39I think I'll go up and eat my little dinner.
00:41:43Good night, dear.
00:41:47Good night, mother.
00:42:17Good night.
00:42:19On a clear day, you can see Alcatraz.
00:42:21I know.
00:42:22You're just out for a breath of fresh air.
00:42:24Well, is there any law against it?
00:42:25Oh, no, no.
00:42:25Go right ahead.
00:42:29Well, if you see anything suspicious, let us know.
00:42:43What do you think he's up to?
00:42:45I don't know.
00:42:45Let's just mosey along and come back.
00:43:22Good night, Mr. Bard.
00:43:23Good night.
00:43:23George.
00:43:24Yes, sir.
00:43:25Bring me a quarter of champagne.
00:43:27Two glasses, will you?
00:43:27Two glasses, sir?
00:43:29Yes.
00:43:29If you're expecting somebody, I can take another night off.
00:43:32Yes, sir.
00:43:32It's all right, sir.
00:43:32You get the glasses, sir.
00:43:33Yes, sir.
00:43:34Leave your heaven coat here, will you?
00:43:35Yes, sir.
00:43:55Darling, the champagne's just coming up, dearest.
00:44:22That's right, George.
00:44:23Put the two glasses down there, will you?
00:44:27George.
00:44:28Take the night off.
00:44:29Yes, sir.
00:44:30And don't hurry back in the morning.
00:44:31Yes, sir.
00:44:36George.
00:44:38Remember, I spent the evening alone.
00:44:42Darling, will you come down for the champagne or shall I bring it up to you, hmm?
00:44:50What did you say?
00:44:59Let's go.
00:45:02Darling, I think you'll love this champagne.
00:45:06I only give it to my favorite.
00:45:09Oh, must be those hoodlums again.
00:45:10Sorry, sir.
00:45:15I don't want to alarm you, sir, but there's a burglar in the house.
00:45:17A burglar?
00:45:18In the house?
00:45:18We saw him enter from your terrace.
00:45:20Better let me go ahead.
00:45:21Be careful.
00:45:21I'll see.
00:45:21It might be dangerous.
00:45:23Wherever you are, come out.
00:45:24We've got you covered.
00:45:25I want this house searched.
00:45:27You what?
00:45:28Say where you are.
00:45:28Keep him covered, officer.
00:45:29He looks a desperate character.
00:45:30Where do you think you're going?
00:45:32I'm going to look around upstairs.
00:45:33Don't you like it down here?
00:45:34He can explain everything.
00:45:35Me?
00:45:36The judge would rather hear it from you.
00:45:37Come on.
00:45:38Let's be fair, officer.
00:45:39I'd like to hear what he's going to say for himself.
00:45:40We caught him red-handed, illegal entry.
00:45:42I was only looking.
00:45:44Oh, a peeping Tom, huh?
00:45:46He could get 10 years for that alone, couldn't he, officer?
00:45:48At least.
00:45:49Don't let him kick you.
00:45:49He's my cousin.
00:45:50I've never said eyes on the fella before in my life.
00:45:53Why, you!
00:45:54McCarthy!
00:45:55Surround him!
00:45:55Come on, let's go.
00:46:04Come on.
00:46:06There are two of the gas chamber.
00:46:07Someone's gone bail for you.
00:46:09Oh, nice.
00:46:17Ken.
00:46:18Oh, it was you.
00:46:19Thanks for nothing.
00:46:20Don't thank me.
00:46:25Hey, you can't go back.
00:46:26You got bail.
00:46:27I don't want any bail.
00:46:29Royer, please.
00:46:30Ken, please don't make a worse fool of yourself.
00:46:32Come on.
00:46:37Excuse me, sir.
00:46:38Haven't you forgotten something?
00:46:39No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:46:41If it had been up to me, I'd have kept you in there for three or four years.
00:46:43I didn't ask you to bail me out.
00:46:44No, but she did.
00:46:45Some joke.
00:46:46Suppose I gave you both a big laugh.
00:46:47Ken, please.
00:46:48The next time you visit me, Kenneth, come in by the front door.
00:46:51It looks better to the police.
00:46:55Aren't you ashamed of yourself?
00:46:56Never mind me.
00:46:57Suppose you start explaining and it better be good.
00:46:59I'm not going to tell you anything.
00:47:00Where did you go tonight?
00:47:01I started to tell you once and you wouldn't listen.
00:47:04Now I'm never going to tell you.
00:47:05Either you trust me or we're quitting right now.
00:47:08Which, Ken?
00:47:10Oh, come on home.
00:47:21Joe.
00:47:24What are you going to do?
00:47:25I'm going to take your advice.
00:47:27There's a time when a man's got to be a man.
00:47:36Hello, son.
00:47:37Hi, honey.
00:47:38What happened down at Werterman's office?
00:47:40Was it the will?
00:47:40Mother, would you mind leaving us alone for a few minutes?
00:47:42Harry and I have something to talk about.
00:47:44Couldn't it wait, honey?
00:47:45I've got to hurry.
00:47:46It's old Mr. White.
00:47:46He asked for it.
00:47:47You're not going anywhere.
00:47:48Now, you stay out of this.
00:47:50What's the matter, darling?
00:47:51What?
00:47:51I once asked you to explain something.
00:47:53You refused.
00:47:54Well, now I know.
00:47:57We'd better talk about it when I get back.
00:47:59Go out that door.
00:47:59You're not coming back.
00:48:01Make up your mind.
00:48:03I'll send for my things tomorrow.
00:48:13You're not alone, son.
00:48:15You still have mother.
00:48:17Oh, dear.
00:48:42I...
00:48:48What's eating you I got 20 bucks in Audacious King Max told me to watch that leg rest his soul
00:48:54where you gonna get your tips now Max is gone how am I gonna miss that guy look at you
00:49:00look
00:49:00at some show for the neighbors what's wrong I'm just getting a little suntan can't you wear a
00:49:06sunsuit you got plenty of dough to spend charge accounts in all the stores I got three sunsuits
00:49:10I'm just too lazy to put one on James give me the sheet no if I had on the sunsuit
00:49:15you'd tell me I
00:49:16was getting fat again so why bother remember what you look like last year have a piece it'll sweeten
00:49:23your disposition okay get fat see if I care you care all right you'd like a streamlined model to
00:49:30brag about I don't know what's got into you lately you just have such a sense of humor which do
00:49:34you
00:49:35want McCabe a sense of humor or a glamour girl I happen to like candy yeah and I like beer
00:49:41and
00:49:41sodas and mashed potatoes we worked hard for our dough what's the good of it if you can't enjoy life
00:49:47I can enjoy life without going in training for the fat lady in a side show you're awful crabby today
00:49:53what'd you have for lunch I'm crabby how about you I can home the hand you'll laugh something
00:49:57the word of it gave me what I get from you caramel well what was the big laugh
00:50:25that dick Tracy all right so don't tell me
00:50:39what do you want to know what word would give me I don't care if he gave you a black
00:50:42eye
00:50:44you're the one that got the black guy from word he's not the type that'd make cracks about a lady
00:50:49a gentleman huh like your friend Max you should be such a gentleman McCabe no gentleman to pull a
00:50:56gag like this don't speak ill of the dead on the day of the funeral what's the gag
00:51:17what's so funny
00:51:21most husbands would be sore if someone said this about their wives sure I would too
00:51:27if I believed it you're awful sure it's a gag I got a nose for it I can smell a
00:51:33gag 10 miles away
00:51:34you might be surprised McCabe you mean you are Max yeah don't try to kid me oh I didn't have
00:51:41class
00:51:41enough huh I'm not saying anything against you but I'm a man I know what men go for Eskimos go
00:51:48for blubber he
00:51:50was no Eskimo glass of beer or romance Max would have only the best that's why I picked you for
00:51:57a friend I
00:51:57suppose but didn't he from the very first moment we met we were just like like that sure at the
00:52:03stables oh
00:52:04you were all right for a judge of horse flash or a few laughs how do you like how do
00:52:09you like that I
00:52:10was over this place all the time a poker games but did he ever ask you to dinner or come
00:52:15to see us or
00:52:16invite you to his party till he met me I'm not a woman I don't remember things like that well
00:52:25jog your
00:52:25memory you'll remember all right hmm me and Matt you'll remember
00:53:00I got 50 bucks on glamour boy come on boy throw him your tail shut up and sit down will
00:53:06you we're
00:53:06in the box you don't act like it listen for my 50 bucks I got a right to yell come
00:53:10on keep going
00:53:11most of these people 50 times 50 bet on the horse see them jumping up and yelling
00:53:33I'm a boy
00:53:34I'm a boy
00:53:45General President of Amalgamated Associated is looking at you.
00:53:48What am I supposed to do, drop dead because Associated Amalgamated looks at me?
00:53:52Amalgamated Associated.
00:53:53You see, Amalgamated Industries associated with Amalgamated...
00:53:56No, Associated Amalg...
00:53:57He's one of our best customers. Smile for Pete's sake.
00:54:06I'll bet you 50 bucks those two zombies are after some dough.
00:54:09Don't point.
00:54:10With you it's always dough.
00:54:11He does a lot of charity work.
00:54:12He's probably members of the committee.
00:54:13You can join one of them.
00:54:14Not me. My mother was scared by a committee.
00:54:19The next bar is here. Put it back on your hat.
00:54:21I can't see with an arm.
00:54:22For $80 it don't make no difference whether you can see or not.
00:54:24What will people think?
00:54:25They come to see the horses, not look at me.
00:54:28What are you going to bet on? Thunderforth or be yourself?
00:54:30That must be Evan's wife. The long-legged type. Some class.
00:54:33Too thin.
00:54:38Put it back on. He's looking at you.
00:54:41What did he ever do that's so special?
00:54:43Besides taking your money at poker.
00:54:45The one thing he owns Glamour Boy.
00:54:47Glamour Boy. If that's high society, excuse me.
00:54:50Where are you going?
00:54:51Get a hot dog.
00:54:52If you're hungry, why don't you go to the clubhouse?
00:54:53Get a club sandwich.
00:54:54I feel like a hot dog.
00:54:56Where do you think you are? Seal Beach?
00:54:57Was it so bad there?
00:54:59You'll get me crazy sometimes. We work hard all our lives.
00:55:01We finally meet some classy people. What do you do?
00:55:03Eat hot dogs.
00:55:04Listen, McCabe.
00:55:04I started out in life selling popcorn.
00:55:07And if my luck don't improve today, it looks like I'll wind up that way too.
00:55:11Uh-uh.
00:55:12Associated amalgamated is calling you.
00:55:17One dog without. One coke here.
00:55:20I'm telling you, lady, it's Thunderforth. Look at the yard.
00:55:23I know.
00:55:23It's not my place to pass an opinion, madam, but I've worked the whole thing out mathematically and the odds
00:55:28are right.
00:55:28I don't know. That Thunderforth just don't appeal to me.
00:55:31You got a better choice?
00:55:32I got a feeling about Be Yourself.
00:55:34A sticky feeling? Like he was close to the glue factory? That's Be Yourself.
00:55:38Take my word for it, madam. Be Yourself is a fool's gamble. Mathematics never fail.
00:55:43Yeah? How many races did you win?
00:55:45Cleaned up $432 this season.
00:55:47On paper?
00:55:48I'm telling you, only the schnooks are putting their dough on Be Yourself. He ain't got a glimmer.
00:55:51Forgive me for butting in, sir, but you know that's only one man's opinion.
00:55:54You're a dog, madam, without.
00:55:56Thanks.
00:55:57Okay, Jack. Do you want to join the schnooks?
00:55:59The schnooks, well, it sounds an admirable organization to me, but I'm afraid I only join clubs when they become
00:56:03widely unpopular.
00:56:04I'm sorry. My money's on Be Yourself.
00:56:06Don't take any tips from him. He owns Glamour Boy.
00:56:09I bought Glamour Boy on the advice of one of the greatest horse racing experts in this country.
00:56:13Which one?
00:56:14Your old man.
00:56:17Ask his advice about women sometime. He's an expert on that, too.
00:56:20If I notice. I don't blame him for keeping this fellow a secret, do you?
00:56:24Say, I think I'm going to like you.
00:56:26Same here.
00:56:27Be yourself, huh?
00:56:28Always.
00:56:29It's going to cost you money, lady. I'm warning you.
00:56:31So you're Max Barr.
00:56:33And you're Lucille McCain.
00:56:34How do you do?
00:56:35How do you do?
00:56:35Send it now, but I think we're being followed.
00:56:37Just protecting the lady's interest, Bert.
00:56:39You've got exactly 45 seconds left to get your money down on the right horse.
00:56:42Hmm.
00:56:42And we can place it for you.
00:56:43Thank you for reminding me. I'll put five on the nose for you.
00:56:45Why bother with the machines, Jack?
00:56:47I'm mechanically minded.
00:56:48That for me ain't going to put any bets down for you, lady.
00:56:50That's his racket. Why don't you give him the brush?
00:56:52We happen to know the bona fide owner of Glamour Boy.
00:56:54Yeah, and it ain't him. Now, if you want to listen to us...
00:56:56Oh, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you.
00:56:58Just a minute, Jack. This lady and I was talking.
00:57:01You happen to know this lady?
00:57:03Yeah.
00:57:04To you?
00:57:05Slightly. She's my wife.
00:57:07Oh.
00:57:07Oh, love.
00:57:09The odds are that he will be surprised.
00:57:12Clubhouse ain't good enough for you, huh?
00:57:13I'll leave you alone for a minute. What do you do?
00:57:15Associate with Plotsam and Jetsam.
00:57:16How did you know their names?
00:57:18How did I...
00:57:18Those two gentlemen happen to be friends of mine.
00:57:21So I see. The kind of characters you'd expect in an environment like...
00:57:23Hey, Max!
00:57:24Dan!
00:57:24What are you doing here?
00:57:25Hey, I want you to meet my wife.
00:57:27They always wanted to get you two together.
00:57:29Be yourself!
00:57:30Be yourself!
00:57:31What are you doing in the morning?
00:57:33How can you beat them?
00:57:34I see you two are mad.
00:57:35Yes, we ran into each other at the hot dog counter.
00:57:37Do you like a pint?
00:57:38No, I got to be going soon.
00:57:40You had something back with me.
00:57:41Oh.
00:57:41Oh, don't change.
00:57:42It couldn't look nicer than it does now.
00:57:44I got bad news for you, Lucille.
00:57:46I can't drive you home.
00:57:47What's bad news about that, the way you drive?
00:57:49What happened?
00:57:50Associated amalgamated needs a free ride?
00:57:52One of my associates, Jonathan Rim, on the way over to Oakland, he wants to talk over a deal.
00:57:56Yes, Jonathan Rim, we all know him.
00:57:58Why don't let me take you home?
00:57:59I drive even worse than your husband.
00:58:01You couldn't, but you got a deal.
00:58:02You don't have to bother.
00:58:03She can take a cab.
00:58:04She's found her way home before.
00:58:05You have any chance to eat for dinner?
00:58:07I certainly am.
00:58:08Good.
00:58:09See you later.
00:58:10Do you mind?
00:58:10Oh, no.
00:58:11No.
00:58:12Your wife, huh?
00:58:14I suppose you own two horses.
00:58:16Dang.
00:58:25Did I wake you, honey?
00:58:27A fine time for a decent woman to be getting in.
00:58:30I thought you'd been killed or something.
00:58:32I wasn't killed.
00:58:33Where have you been?
00:58:34Having fun.
00:58:35Fun, huh?
00:58:36That Max.
00:58:37He's great.
00:58:38He is so funny, that guy.
00:58:41You want to know what he told me?
00:58:43Yeah, why?
00:58:44Come out of bed.
00:58:45I'm tired.
00:58:51You want to hear my story?
00:58:57We used to have so much fun together, you and me.
00:59:00Remember?
00:59:06What's the idea of getting me all worried, huh?
00:59:09Were you worried, kid?
00:59:12Were you worried?
00:59:18Isn't he cute?
00:59:20Max bought him for me.
00:59:22Says he looks just like you.
00:59:27Hurry up, will ya?
00:59:29Don't wait for me.
00:59:30Why not?
00:59:33Oh, that's how you're wasting your time, huh?
00:59:36You used to yell at me because I dressed so fast.
00:59:39Now I waste time.
00:59:40How do you like the outfit?
00:59:42You're okay.
00:59:42Come on.
00:59:43I hope it's classy enough for you.
00:59:45Max picked it out.
00:59:46What are you putting that stuff on for?
00:59:48You like it?
00:59:49I suppose Max picked that out, too, huh?
00:59:51His favorite.
00:59:52What taste he's got.
00:59:53Come on.
00:59:54Well, we're gone.
00:59:54Nobody will smell you.
00:59:55Why not?
00:59:56It's obvious.
00:59:57Where do you think I'm going?
00:59:59To the stable.
00:59:59Biddy's waiting to be fed.
01:00:00Go on, feed her, then.
01:00:02You mean you're not coming?
01:00:04Not today.
01:00:05I got something more important.
01:00:06More important than your own horse?
01:00:08Forget it.
01:00:09You're calm with me.
01:00:10I can't possibly.
01:00:11What is it so important?
01:00:13I got a committee meeting.
01:00:15I never thought I'd live to see the day when you ditch your own horse for a bunch of female
01:00:18zombies.
01:00:20You ain't putting on that perfume for them.
01:00:22You want your wife to go out with society people smelling of stables?
01:00:27Well, why don't you get going?
01:00:28You were in such a hurry.
01:00:30I'll take you wherever you're going.
01:00:32You needn't bother.
01:00:33I'm getting picked up.
01:00:34By whom?
01:00:34By whom?
01:00:36By whom?
01:00:36The chairman of the committee.
01:00:47What are you waiting for?
01:00:48I thought your poor horse was starving.
01:00:50What's worrying you?
01:00:51One of the zombies might see you with the lower classes?
01:00:53Don't answer that.
01:00:53Here comes the chairman.
01:01:04There must be two other zombies.
01:01:07Hi, Max.
01:01:08Taxi, ma'am.
01:01:10I thought you'd never get here.
01:01:11Oh, darling.
01:01:12Am I late?
01:01:12I'm so sorry.
01:01:14Hello, Pam.
01:01:15I wasn't expecting to see you.
01:01:16Who?
01:01:16I thought you were going to a committee meeting.
01:01:18Well, she is.
01:01:19I'm the chairman.
01:01:21Did you tell him?
01:01:22What don't I know?
01:01:23He's going to be one of those long meetings, too.
01:01:24You know what it is.
01:01:25Passing resolutions, seconding motions, votes of thanks, yak, yak, yak.
01:01:29And I'm afraid that this ravishing creature, she may not be home for dinner tonight.
01:01:33Hope you don't mind.
01:01:34Oh, no.
01:01:35That won't bother him.
01:01:36He'd rather be with his horse.
01:01:37Sure.
01:01:38With his horse.
01:01:38Well, chacun a son goût.
01:01:40What side?
01:01:41French.
01:01:41Every man to his taste.
01:01:43Shut the door, old thing, will you?
01:01:45Well, Lord.
01:01:46Merci, mon petit.
01:01:48Au revoir.
01:01:49Au revoir.
01:01:50Merci.
01:01:54French.
01:01:56Il pleuvra demain, mon oncle et moi, nous n'irons pas aux courses.
01:02:01It will rain tomorrow.
01:02:02My uncle and I cannot go to the races.
01:02:05Right.
01:02:06Le gratisiel a trente-six étages.
01:02:09Gratis...
01:02:10Oh, the skyscraper has 36 stories.
01:02:12Right.
01:02:13Mon mari d'or, il a bu, trop de bière.
01:02:16My husband's sleeping.
01:02:18He's had too much beer.
01:02:19Right.
01:02:20100% perfect.
01:02:21I talk French.
01:02:22Okay, only be careful what you say around the kids.
01:02:24What's that?
01:02:24Oh, who cares?
01:02:25Je suis en francais.
01:02:27Perfect.
01:02:28Get that McCabe, je suis en francais.
01:02:30Yeah, je suis cheese.
01:02:31Leave me alone.
01:02:31I am now going to demonstrate a very famous continental custom.
01:02:34Very elegant.
01:02:35Watch me.
01:02:38One continental custom coming up.
01:02:41Oh, wrong continent.
01:02:43Hey, hey, what's wrong?
01:02:45Oh, look, Dan.
01:02:47What?
01:02:47Oh, the Oakland Ferry.
01:02:49The what?
01:02:50Well, don't you remember?
01:02:51Yeah, I remember.
01:02:52May 10, 1938.
01:02:53What happened then?
01:02:54We spent our honeymoon on that.
01:02:56Ah.
01:02:56Riding back and forth on the poor man's Atlantic.
01:02:59Ah.
01:03:00Ah.
01:03:00Why don't you talk to a few more people, huh?
01:03:02Get a megaphone.
01:03:03Broadcast on the radio.
01:03:04We're all young ones, Dan.
01:03:05Oh, was this one ever young?
01:03:07Full of beans.
01:03:08He was always going to take me traveling to Europe and places.
01:03:11You ain't done so bad.
01:03:12Yeah, but I always wanted to see the world.
01:03:14The world got the California.
01:03:15Come on, let's go home.
01:03:16Yeah, I'm going to get you another beer.
01:03:17Sit down.
01:03:17No, I don't want, I don't want the milk.
01:03:18Go get it.
01:03:19I'll drink it if he doesn't.
01:03:20Do we always have to hang around here until the rooster crows?
01:03:23Oh.
01:03:23We got a home.
01:03:24Don't be a big cow.
01:03:26Okay, I'm a big cow.
01:03:27But at the 3 a.m.
01:03:28I can't give milk.
01:03:30I'm tired.
01:03:31That's what you always say, just when I'm having fun.
01:03:33I get up early and I work for a living.
01:03:36So do a billion other people.
01:03:37They don't complain.
01:03:38They do, but you don't hear them.
01:03:39You're too busy running around the committees, learning French, buying new dresses.
01:03:43I thought that was the kind of wife you wanted, McCabe.
01:03:47Oh, you're just in time.
01:03:48I was getting thirsty from arguing with him.
01:03:50Danny boy, there's one rule in this house, no arguing.
01:03:52One beer coming up.
01:03:53I ain't thirsty.
01:03:54Oh, make it a nice, Captain.
01:03:56Okay, I'm a sport.
01:03:58Here's to you, Mac.
01:03:59Here's to us.
01:04:00Here's to us.
01:04:00Here's to us.
01:04:01To fun, frolic, and jolly.
01:04:02Mmm.
01:04:03Honestly, we've had more darn fun this last year, haven't we, Dan?
01:04:06Thanks to a certain party.
01:04:07Now's a laugh to me.
01:04:09Remember the night I cooked the goose?
01:04:11See you, Pete.
01:04:12You know, it's got poison.
01:04:14Remember the Italian restaurant?
01:04:16Bigger game.
01:04:17Yeah, but how about the rubberneck puffs?
01:04:18The muffins?
01:04:19I gotta thank you, pal.
01:04:21You've been a real foul, pal.
01:04:22I gotta thank you for that.
01:04:23I gotta thank you for teaching my wife how to talk first.
01:04:26I gotta thank you.
01:04:27No, I gotta thank you.
01:04:29No, I gotta thank you.
01:04:30I gotta thank you for being the biggest sport that ever drew breath.
01:04:35Yes, he is, isn't he?
01:04:36I gotta thank you, pal.
01:04:38I gotta thank you for being the biggest sport that ever drew breath.
01:04:41I can't tell you what you mean, darling.
01:04:43I don't know.
01:04:44What's the matter, honey?
01:04:45He's crying.
01:04:46Oh, don't cry, honey.
01:04:48Poor chap.
01:04:50Poor chap.
01:04:51Poor chap.
01:04:51Poor chap.
01:04:52Poor chap.
01:04:52He just couldn't understand.
01:05:06He was left with the paper, the mean wicked paper.
01:05:12He was left with the paper in his hand.
01:05:14Woo!
01:05:14He was left with the paper in his hand.
01:05:17He was left with the paper in his hand.
01:05:19Woo!
01:05:28Paper in his hand
01:05:32Sucker
01:05:33You remember all right
01:05:35Well ain't that great
01:05:36My wife
01:05:37After all I've done for you
01:05:40What were you when I met you?
01:05:42Selling popcorn for a living
01:05:43And I didn't quit when we were married
01:05:45Remember Dan?
01:05:46You didn't have a cent
01:05:46Now look at you
01:05:47Real diamonds
01:05:49French perfume
01:05:50$80 hats
01:05:51What do you do with them?
01:05:52Carry dogs in them
01:05:53And do you thank me for it?
01:05:54Do you?
01:05:55I'd thank you to quit yelling
01:05:56Sounds to be a sucker
01:05:57Not say anything about it, huh?
01:05:59Rise above it
01:06:00Be a nice fellow, Dan
01:06:01Have you heard what they're saying
01:06:02About Dan McCabe?
01:06:05A letter like this
01:06:06Most wives would take a thing
01:06:07Like this seriously
01:06:08So would most husbands
01:06:09I do, I do
01:06:11What do you think?
01:06:13Penny guard au voisin
01:06:14Please the neighbors
01:06:17Shut up, you
01:06:18I'm still the man in this house
01:06:19And you'll be the wife
01:06:20The way I see it
01:06:21Or else
01:06:22You'll get out
01:06:23Do I hear correctly?
01:06:25You sure do
01:06:27There are some things
01:06:28No man will stand for
01:06:29Not if he's a man
01:06:29Some things no woman
01:06:31Will stand for either
01:06:32Maybe you forget
01:06:33This is my home too
01:06:35It is, huh?
01:06:36Yeah, and I'll fight for it
01:06:38To the last toothpick
01:06:40Okay, so it's a fight
01:06:43You'll see
01:06:45Left with a paper in his hand
01:06:47Not Dan McCabe
01:06:48Hey, where are you going, stupid?
01:06:51To see a smart lawyer
01:06:58You can send us over now
01:06:59All right
01:07:01Good morning
01:07:02I'm Mrs. Evans
01:07:03I received a telegram
01:07:04Oh yes, Mrs. Evans
01:07:05Isn't Mr. Evans with you?
01:07:08He'll be along later
01:07:09I hope
01:07:09The telegram specifically
01:07:11Asked for both of you
01:07:11Mr. Worderman will be upset
01:07:13Aren't we all?
01:07:17Jimmy
01:07:17Good morning, Mary
01:07:19Why are you...
01:07:21Yes
01:07:21I'm glad we finally reached you
01:07:23We couldn't get you at home
01:07:24I wasn't there
01:07:25Is your husband coming?
01:07:26Did you tell his mother?
01:07:27Oh, yes
01:07:28He's coming
01:07:31Well, good morning, all
01:07:32Lucy
01:07:33Good morning, Mrs. McCabe
01:07:35Morning
01:07:36Where's Mr. McCabe?
01:07:37I thought you might know
01:07:38I don't
01:07:38Well, at least you ladies
01:07:40Are here on time
01:07:40Mr. Worderman will appreciate that
01:07:42Promptness is one of his standards
01:07:43He'll be a few minutes late
01:07:45Will you step this way, please?
01:07:53A committee meeting, huh?
01:07:55I wonder what's cooking
01:07:56I don't know
01:07:57But apparently our husbands
01:07:58Are expected too
01:07:59Oh, no, no kidding, Lucille
01:08:01Don't you know where Dan is?
01:08:02I thought I was sent for
01:08:03To talk over the case
01:08:04Of McCabe versus McCabe
01:08:06What?
01:08:07A divorce?
01:08:08You two?
01:08:09Both of them?
01:08:11So suddenly?
01:08:12Last night, about 10 o'clock
01:08:14That big ape calls the butler
01:08:15And says to pack his things
01:08:17Not just his pajamas and toothbrush
01:08:18All his things
01:08:20And bring them someplace
01:08:21Well, didn't you ask the butler where?
01:08:23I got pride
01:08:24But I wish I'd had him followed
01:08:25Then this morning
01:08:27I get Worderman's wire
01:08:28I should be here
01:08:29You having trouble too?
01:08:31I left him
01:08:32It just couldn't be a coincidence
01:08:35No, it certainly wasn't
01:08:36We've been in training
01:08:37For it a long time now
01:08:38No, no
01:08:39I mean
01:08:39All three of them
01:08:41Not Arthur too
01:08:43Arthur too
01:08:44Well, at least you know
01:08:46Where he is
01:08:46I certainly do
01:08:48Snoring on the living room couch
01:08:50He didn't come in
01:08:51Until 4 a.m. this morning
01:08:52After making the most
01:08:53Incredible accusations
01:08:54He dashed out of the house
01:08:55And I
01:08:56I found him asleep
01:08:57On the couch this morning
01:08:59I left the telegram
01:09:00On his chest
01:09:01Like a lily
01:09:02I wonder what's got into them all
01:09:04I don't know what's eating
01:09:06Your boys
01:09:06But Dan got a letter
01:09:07A letter?
01:09:08Worderman gave it to him
01:09:10Kenneth saw Worderman
01:09:11Yesterday too
01:09:12Do you know
01:09:14What was in the letter?
01:09:14Oh, nothing much
01:09:16Your boys couldn't have got
01:09:18The same news
01:09:19It was about
01:09:21Me and Max
01:09:23Max and you
01:09:25You and Max?
01:09:26In love?
01:09:28Yeah
01:09:28What's so impossible about that?
01:09:30You
01:09:31You and my husband both
01:09:32Oh, that's what Arthur
01:09:35Was so upset about
01:09:36Arthur suspected you?
01:09:38Oh
01:09:39Then why not?
01:09:41A symphony concert
01:09:43Well, of course you would
01:09:44Hear that way, Arthur
01:09:45But afterwards
01:09:46We had tea together
01:09:47We had tea together
01:09:49We certainly did
01:09:50But at his house
01:09:51Was always his man's day off
01:09:53Oh, yeah
01:09:54You're both bragging
01:09:57How would you know?
01:09:58Yeah, a kid like you
01:09:59Oh, I took care of him
01:10:01Through four heart attacks
01:10:02I was with him
01:10:03Day and night
01:10:05When a man's as sick as that
01:10:06He's not interested in women
01:10:08He always kept me on
01:10:09Through convalescence
01:10:15That Max
01:10:17Good morning
01:10:17Good morning, girls
01:10:18Hi, Ed
01:10:19Good morning
01:10:19I'm sorry to be late
01:10:21But I was late in conference
01:10:22The divorce case
01:10:25I believe the others are here
01:10:26Won't you come into the library?
01:10:28Mm-hmm
01:10:55And the bequests for the aforementioned organizations and institutions
01:10:58To be distributed in the manner provided for in paragraph 12 of his last will and testaments
01:11:04I think you'll find that what follows will interest you more
01:11:09To Mathilde Clegg
01:11:10For the development of her unique talents
01:11:14Tuition for two years and living expenses
01:11:16Provided the beneficiary studies and takes up residence in Paris, France
01:11:23And to my cousin Jenny Bard Whitaker
01:11:26Our grandfather's house and property in Columbus, Ohio
01:11:29Providing she takes up immediate residence there
01:11:32Will contains only two more clauses
01:11:35I'll leave the first clause first
01:11:36Naturally
01:11:40The remainder of my estate is to be provided equally among my dearly beloved friends
01:11:44Jane Evans
01:11:46Mary Whitaker
01:11:48Mary Whitaker
01:11:48And Lucille McCabe
01:11:51Look at that man
01:11:53But it's not right
01:11:54They were nothing to him
01:11:56We are the next of kin
01:11:57It's his will, Mother
01:11:58Oh, you ought to be angry
01:12:00You were cheated
01:12:02Because I'm so high
01:12:04If he thinks I intend to return
01:12:06We are going to fight this to the end, son
01:12:08Don't worry
01:12:10I won't take the money
01:12:12Don't be crazy, Mary
01:12:13Max meant you to have it
01:12:15I'm rich
01:12:16Me, McCabe
01:12:18Please, please
01:12:19Now, if you'll allow me, I'll continue
01:12:22In making these requests
01:12:23I am expressing my belief that women are better wise
01:12:26If they are not dependent on the peccadilloes
01:12:31The weaknesses
01:12:35The whims and pretensions
01:12:38Of their husbands
01:12:41There are no provisions or restrictions attached to these requests
01:12:44The legacies may be used as the beneficiaries see fit
01:12:47Either to enhance their marriages
01:12:49Or to make themselves independent of financial restraint
01:12:53To my friends, Arthur Evans, Kenneth Whitaker
01:12:57And Daniel J. McCabe
01:12:58I solemnly bequeath the good news
01:13:00That the confidential letters delivered to them yesterday
01:13:02Were written for the best purpose
01:13:04Of causing them grief and disturbance
01:13:06So that they reconsider the charms and virtues
01:13:09Of their respective wives better to appreciate them
01:13:12And the additional information
01:13:14That said letters
01:13:15Being intentional fabrications
01:13:17Are false, deceitful, and untrue
01:13:23That's all
01:13:24Thank you
01:13:24I think it was all
01:13:25It's the most ridiculous one I've ever heard of in my life
01:13:27It's not going to be the end, I assure you
01:13:29I assure you
01:13:34I want to talk to you, Ed
01:13:36Oh, I'm sorry, my wife's waiting for you
01:13:37I only want to ask you one question
01:13:39That divorce complaint you talked about before
01:13:41Is it Dan McCabe?
01:13:42No, your husband is not my client
01:13:43Then I am
01:13:45Hey, James
01:13:47Oh, Arthur, I'm so glad I caught you
01:13:49I must talk to you
01:13:50Couldn't we talk about this later?
01:13:51What I'm about to say
01:13:52Will affect the course of our entire lives
01:13:55Hurry, I've got to talk to you
01:13:56Oh, let me go
01:13:57You don't have to act like an heiress so soon
01:13:59I don't want the money
01:14:02Then at least you can listen to me
01:14:07Hey, hey, hey
01:14:09What's the idea of changing the lock on me?
01:14:10I couldn't get in
01:14:11Is that your idea of a gag or something?
01:14:12I didn't want you in my house
01:14:14Your house, huh?
01:14:15Okay, get technical
01:14:16I suppose that's the advice of your lawyer
01:14:18I'd file on the counter suit
01:14:19I'm the one that's got the grounds
01:14:21Not so loud, McCabe
01:14:22What'll people think?
01:14:24Let me tell you what I think
01:14:26Well, now I hope you'll understand
01:14:28Why I've arrived at this tragic decision
01:14:30I couldn't come between a man and his children
01:14:33And his wife
01:14:34No
01:14:35Time will heal our wounds, dear
01:14:37If that's the way you want it, Matilda
01:14:38We must face it bravely
01:14:40This is goodbye
01:14:41Goodbye, Matilda
01:14:49Arthur
01:14:50Jane
01:14:51Now that the economic barrier is removed
01:14:53I feel it's only fair that you should have your freedom
01:14:55I'll see my lawyer in the morning
01:14:57If that's the way you want it, Jane
01:15:01There's just one thing I'd like cleared out before I go ahead
01:15:04You believed that letter of Max's, didn't you?
01:15:06No, not for a minute
01:15:08Don't lie, you called me a Jezebel, why?
01:15:10All right, I did, I believed it
01:15:11I was jealous
01:15:13You were?
01:15:14Oh, thank you, darling
01:15:16That's wonderful
01:15:22Oh, darling
01:15:29You don't have to be jealous of any man before we met or since we're married or ever
01:15:41I have nothing further
01:15:42Didn't you tell me that it was true?
01:15:43You confessed it of your own free will, didn't you?
01:15:45Well, didn't you?
01:15:46Well, you must be slipping, McCabe
01:15:48I thought you could spot a gag a mile off
01:15:50Then it was a gag
01:15:50You and him made it up just to fool me, huh?
01:15:54What's that?
01:15:55French
01:15:55French
01:15:55What's it mean?
01:15:56You'll have to wait and ask Max
01:16:04If I were a lawyer, I'd get rid of my clients rather than keep my wife waiting
01:16:08If it be
01:16:09Yes, sir
01:16:11Wait a minute
01:16:11I want you to tell me something truthfully
01:16:14How well did you know Max?
01:16:20Aim for
01:16:37Cousin
01:16:39A
01:16:55THE END
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