- 2 days ago
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00:01Do you think I'm going to mind if I have this hand?
00:03Oh, no, Sharon, but it's pretty old and slimy.
00:05Oh, I don't mind, Mrs. D.
00:06I have got my indoor cricket semi-final on tonight.
00:09We are going to win for sure.
00:11I've got a plan.
00:12Guess what?
00:13We've got some news.
00:14You're falling again.
00:15No, better than that.
00:17You've bought a home unit.
00:18No.
00:18Oh, well, come on.
00:20Spill your guts.
00:21I'm shivering with antithesis.
00:23Patience.
00:23Brett is taking me on a romantic holiday to the height, Koolham.
00:28Oh, wow.
00:29Wow.
00:29Oh, wow, Koolham.
00:31That's exy.
00:32So that's how can you afford that?
00:33Well, a stretch, but it'll be worth it.
00:35I owe it to Kim.
00:36Oh, wow, Kim, Koolham.
00:39You are a lucky duck.
00:41It's going to be so good for our marriage, isn't it, babe?
00:43Yeah.
00:43We just need some time on our own.
00:45Yeah.
00:46Yeah, just need a little bit of space.
00:48Get away from everything, everyone, you know.
00:49Oh, well, you know, Brett, come on, I do try and keep out of your head,
00:54but it is a small home, I grant you that.
00:56It's not always possible.
00:57Oh, I didn't mean that.
00:58Oh, no, it's an embrace.
01:00Gee, you know, Koolham and I wouldn't mind going to a nice Queensland resort,
01:03having some time on our own.
01:04Gee, I don't need any more time on my own.
01:12Penny for your thoughts, lovely lady.
01:14Oh, I'm just tired at the moment, Kool.
01:17You know, I seem to have lost my Russell Sayang, as we say in Indonesian class.
01:21You're what, Koolham?
01:22Well, you know, my life's for life.
01:24I'm just glad it's a pack at the moment.
01:26Not from this angle.
01:27Oh, Kool, turn around.
01:28I'll wash the bed.
01:31Oh, yeah.
01:32Oh, yeah.
01:33Oh, yeah.
01:33Oh, yeah.
01:36Oh, yeah.
01:37Oh, yeah.
01:38Oh, yeah.
01:38Oh, yeah.
01:38Oh, yeah.
01:38Oh, yeah.
01:39Oh, yeah.
01:41Oh, yeah.
01:50Can I run something up your flagpole?
01:52Fire away.
01:54Thank you, Brett.
02:01Tim, I've just been talking to Cal upstairs, and he reckons he can take some time off from
02:06the shop.
02:07So we were thinking maybe we'd come up to Koolham too.
02:10Would that be a problem if we came?
02:12No, I couldn't give a fat rat.
02:14How, Brett?
02:15What?
02:15They can look after it while we go to happy hour.
02:18Brett, have you got an issue with us coming?
02:20Oh, Kat, no.
02:22Just thought it might be a chance for Kim and I to be alone.
02:25Oh, yeah.
02:26But, you know, we can all be alone together.
02:27It'd be great.
02:28All right, that's settled.
02:29We're coming.
02:30Cal, get on the net, though.
02:32We're going.
02:33Kim, we'll have to hit the shop.
02:34It's too sweet.
02:34Oh, goody.
02:35Shopping.
02:36Some time's ahead.
02:39Right.
02:45So we leave Saturday on a 4.55 flight, so we should aim to be a Tullamarine about,
02:50what, 11?
02:51Oh, hell.
02:53So much organising to do.
02:55Gee, I've got to cancel the papers.
02:56Tell my Indonesian class.
02:58Once we're on that plane, we can leave it all behind.
03:01Oh, gee, Cal, I can't believe we're going to be a class.
03:04Well, I've had a great year.
03:06I mean, what's money for if you can't turn left and sit up the point of year?
03:08Oh, actually, just one issue, doll.
03:10There could be a hiccup with the accommodation.
03:13Has it been confirmed?
03:14I mean, we're paying top dollar.
03:16Yeah, but look, Cal, I've been looking on TripAdvisor,
03:18and one review says the hotel provides a soap sachet and a shampoo sachet,
03:23but no conditioner sachet.
03:25You know, Cal, I don't want to be lugging my huge bottle of Pantene.
03:29Maybe we should change hotels.
03:31Better leave that with you.
03:32Got to go.
03:32Oh, OK.
03:34Gee, there's so much to do.
03:36Hmm, maybe if I measure the Pantene bottle,
03:39or I could decant something to a smaller bottle.
03:41That might work.
03:43Kim?
03:44Kim, are you ready to go?
03:45Oh, missing babies!
03:48Those ones, mate, look fat.
03:51Oh, what's up yours?
03:52You've been to Fatal Moon all morning.
03:55We live on top of you, Mum and Kel,
03:57now if you're going bloody holidays with us.
03:59Hello, Brett.
04:00How are you?
04:01Good.
04:01Kim, are you almost ready?
04:03It's all right, Brett.
04:04I'll buy Kim new babies.
04:05Don't worry about it.
04:06We can afford babies, Captain.
04:07No, I insist.
04:08You need your money for essentials.
04:10I could pay for et cetera, et cetera.
04:11Come on, Kim, let's go!
04:14Oh, guess what, Kim?
04:16Yes?
04:16Kel got a business class pickup?
04:18Oh, Brett's such a tight arse.
04:20We're at the going economy.
04:21Oh, I'm so excited.
04:25Oh, hello, Sharon.
04:27You're here early.
04:28What's with all the issues, love?
04:29Oh, nothing.
04:30Really?
04:31Well, don't take the bait.
04:33She's just looking for attention.
04:34Him?
04:36What's happened, love?
04:37Well, they've accused me of ball-tabbering, Mrs. D.
04:40I've been dropped from mine into a cricket team.
04:43Oh, Sharon, did you, love?
04:44No, Mrs. D, I would never cheat.
04:47Oh, that up-post had an infamy
04:48ever since my Googling got caught in her slip.
04:50Oh, Sharon.
04:53Hi, Sharon.
04:54Hi, Brittany.
04:55Are you out of your filthy means?
04:57Yeah, sorry, Kim.
04:58We'll have a great holiday.
05:00Oh, what am I going to do now?
05:02And all of you are going away.
05:05Oh, poor Sharon.
05:08We've been so selfish, so wrapped up in ourselves.
05:12Sharon, would you like to come to Koolham too?
05:14Yes, please.
05:15All right, we'll pay for your ticket,
05:17and I'm sure Kim and Brett won't mind having you
05:19on a rollaway in their room.
05:20That'll be good, actually.
05:21Oh, you're good.
05:22You know what?
05:22To me, I'll look great, you baby.
05:27Oh, I love the berry.
05:36I look like Kate Moss in there.
05:38I've got a bit of Kate Moss sticking out there, Kim.
05:41Well, shut up, Mum.
05:42I haven't had a chance to whack.
05:43Oh, poor Chris.
05:45Love it.
05:48This is going to look great
05:49around the hype Koolham Hotel lobby.
05:52Kim, cowboy boots are the beach.
05:55Oh, God, I know.
05:56Go for a little walk.
05:57Let's have a look.
05:58Oh, look at your back sack.
06:00You're ballooning out on all sides.
06:02You're going to be airborne in a minute.
06:04Is that a look, Kim?
06:05Yep, it's Jessica Simpson.
06:08Oh, I'm a Simpson more like it.
06:09Mum, can you stop with this night aside?
06:12Do you have to belittle me all the time?
06:14A little?
06:14A little?
06:15She wouldn't be little.
06:17Mum!
06:17What can I do about that thing?
06:19I mean, your weight issues reflect badly on me as a parent
06:22and on my jeans, too.
06:24What are you talking about?
06:25That reminds me, make a mental note, Kath.
06:27I've got to get some pearl jeans.
06:28What are they, Mrs. D?
06:30Oh, you know, a nice light flack
06:31for around the Hotel Lagoon area, Sharon.
06:33Oh, Mrs. D, I'm so excited.
06:35Do you think we'll get to go swimming with dolphins?
06:37I'm not sure this time of year, Sharon,
06:39but I think we get to swim with a whale.
06:40Really?
06:48Oh, hi, Peter, it's Kath.
06:49Yes, look, I'm just being to cancel the papers.
06:51We're going away to Coolum this week.
06:53Yes, we're going business class, which is exciting.
06:56Oh, hello, Wendy at Ausnitz.
06:57It's Kath Day night here.
06:59Yes, look, I'm just being to say
07:00I can't pick up the cow neck
07:01because we're going away.
07:03Yes, Qantas, business class.
07:06Is that apricot flowers?
07:08Yes, look, I haven't got an order in or anything.
07:10I just thought I'd ring to let you know
07:11that we're going away this week
07:12and we're going business class.
07:14Marty?
07:16Oh, Salamadatang, Marty.
07:17Kath?
07:18You're bog bog sad you're tearduck.
07:20Business class.
07:22Right you go.
07:22Just going back and be waiting.
07:23Oh, okay.
07:24All right.
07:30Come on, Brett.
07:31Hurry up.
07:32Oh, can you carry that for me, Brett, please?
07:34Hit it.
07:34Oh, yeah, I got it.
07:37Come on, Brett.
07:38Yeah.
07:39Okay.
07:39Oh, she's got a hand.
07:48It's nice.
07:49Yeah, it is nice, isn't it?
07:51Mom, I want to have a manicure.
07:53Can you look like her straight away?
07:54All right.
07:55All right.
07:56Let me take you to my V.
07:57Look at this, okay?
07:58No.
07:59Oh, hello, Lee.
08:00How are you?
08:01We're on Captain Arnish, right?
08:03Oh, yes.
08:04Oh, she listens to Bill's son.
08:07Oh, pretty.
08:08Oh, boo-kicking doll.
08:10All right.
08:10Brett, get it to me.
08:12Yeah.
08:15Yeah.
08:40I think I can order breakfast.
08:44No, no, no.
08:44We've got it sorted.
08:45Can we all get it to me?
08:46Sharon, you are fine.
08:49Room's 49 and 50 for Continentals.
08:53I'm not having Continentals.
08:55Ow.
08:56What did you do that for?
08:58Oh, look at the Bain Marine.
09:04Just find the table.
09:05I'll get my yogurt and move to it.
09:07Oh, grab that chair.
09:08Brett, grab that chair.
09:09Oh, good table.
09:15Oh, actually, Brett, you might have a good watch.
09:17I really want to see the rain for it.
09:38Look, I think I'll go up, Brett.
09:40Would you mind minding my bag?
09:42No?
09:43All right.
09:44I'll take it then.
09:58Go back and hide, Sharon, or we'll get sprung.
10:03There's one more of those.
10:05Go on.
10:09So how do we all sleep on our first night, people?
10:13Sharon kept me awake most of the night, going up and down from the toilet.
10:16Oh, sorry about that, Brett.
10:17I've got a dicky pelvic floor.
10:18So I've got the program here.
10:20I thought we'd sit by the pool this morning for, say, 20, 25 minutes.
10:23Then I'll book us in for a sausage ride and snorkel.
10:26Then to the other side of the resort for lunch.
10:28Then later on in the afternoon, we can either go coconut throwing.
10:31Coconut throwing?
10:32Oh, I'm so doing that.
10:34I'll show them my flick.
10:35Or there's a talk by the marine biologist.
10:38Now, look, it's good, Cap, because it's on sea science.
10:41Um, I thought Kim and I'd do something on our own.
10:43No, I've already paid for a break, so it's locked in, OK?
10:46Come on, Brett, it'll be fun.
10:49Kim, I'll play it in your danger field bag.
11:09Oh, hell.
11:10Yeah, please come in here.
11:11Thank you, smuggling.
11:12Oh, more like coffee, too, smuggling, though.
11:15Here, come here.
11:15I'll put some sermon to that.
11:18Oh, Brett, Brett, there's the waiter.
11:20Could you go and ask him for some e-news?
11:22I want to see if they do nut shows.
11:24Yeah.
11:25Thanks, Brett.
11:26Oh, and also, can you get some more towels while you're there?
11:29Get beverages.
11:31Oh, great.
11:32Everybody can stay in kids' club till 5.30.
11:35Oh, my God.
11:37What?
11:38Nothing.
11:39It's my new camouflage canteenie.
11:41Oh, you've got the tank bit right.
11:43I'm not camouflaging much, Kim.
11:45I think that's the part calling the kettle fat, don't you, Sharon?
11:48Where'd you get those?
11:50At the gift shop.
11:51Oh, at the gift shop?
11:52Yep.
11:52Oh, good.
11:53Oh, good.
11:55Oh, good.
11:56Oh, fresh.
12:11Okay, everyone, I'll be dry in five minutes.
12:14Yay!
12:22Okay, everyone, hang on.
12:23Oh, hang on, Brett.
12:27All right, here we go.
12:32Stop and overboard.
12:35We need directly not stopping.
12:38Woo!
12:41Woo!
12:43Woo!
12:44Woo!
12:45Woo!
12:46Woo!
12:48Woo!
12:49Woo!
12:51Woo!
13:09Hurry up, Brett.
13:11Mum and Kel will be there already.
13:12Oh, God.
13:13Dad, breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
13:15It's worse than a hoe.
13:21Woo-hoo!
13:22We're over here.
13:23We got our table.
13:25Oh, Kim and I just got to sit here.
13:26No, Brett, we sit with Mum and Kel we'll pay for breakfast, so I want the full Aussie
13:30again.
13:31Brett?
13:31Brett, Kel and I have been here for half an hour, bagging the table and saving the chairs.
13:35I just want to sit here.
13:37No, I don't care where we sit.
13:38I need breakfast.
13:39I'm ravishing.
13:42Brett?
13:43Brett?
13:45Brett?
13:46Brett, look at me, please.
13:48Look at me.
13:49Look at me.
13:52Look at me.
13:53Brett.
13:54Brett.
13:55Brett.
13:56He had a tube, Brett.
13:57I think you could drop it for five minutes.
13:59You think you could stop telling us what to do all the time?
14:01I think we could all relax and have a holiday.
14:03Hey, listen, mate.
14:03You're out of line.
14:04Don't talk to Kat like that.
14:05No, look.
14:06It's all right, Kelly.
14:06It doesn't mean it.
14:07I do.
14:08It's just the way there.
14:11Your voice is driving me crazy.
14:12Oh.
14:13It's really slow.
14:14Will you take it down, Kat?
14:15It's all right.
14:15It's all right.
14:15No.
14:16Look, actually, it's not all right, Kel.
14:19You know, I don't need this.
14:22Thank you, Leslie, for ruining the holiday.
14:27Kat?
14:28Back off, Brett.
14:29Kat?
14:31Back off.
14:31I mean it.
14:32You're out of control.
14:33Kat?
14:36Hurry up and get Brett with Brett.
14:37We've got to get back to the banana lounge before somebody moves our stuff.
14:42Kim.
14:43Kim cannot come out now.
14:45No.
14:46Kat?
14:46No.
14:48No.
14:50No.
15:01Well done.
15:02Give her a clap.
15:04Next!
15:05Me?
15:05Me?
15:06I'm next.
15:07I see the moi that Fitzgaff's gonna lose.
15:09Okay.
15:14YAAAAA!
15:15YAAAAA았는데 satisfaction!
15:16How's that?
15:17How's that?
15:34Those people have made my stop.
15:36I bagged space lounges.
15:38Say something, Brick.
15:40Oh, I thought out of this is you can't bagged lounges.
15:43Why don't we sit over here sharing?
15:44Why don't we sit over here sharing?
15:46Oh, Sharon.
15:46Those are a mustwrap.
15:48Don't call you a mustwrap.
15:52Don't call you a mustwrap.
16:00Stop crying, Sharon.
16:03This is you.
16:05Just looking for attention.
16:09What's up, Sharon?
16:10Oh, Freddie.
16:12I've been black banned from all non-motorized beach sports.
16:15Why?
16:16What happened?
16:16Don't choose me of coconut tampering.
16:20Oh, did you do it?
16:21No, Kim, I would never do that.
16:24The activities obviously just got it in for me.
16:26Well, I'd be good for my god.
16:28No, I'm black.
16:29Sorry.
16:32I'm black.
16:35I'm black.
16:45You've got this.
16:55Oh, boy.
16:56Hey!
17:08She's nice, isn't it?
17:12Heads for the Chief Clive.
17:14And they'll kill her off somewhere.
17:19You, uh...
17:20Want to go back to the room?
17:23You're a fool!
17:25I don't know.
17:27Really?
17:29You're insane, Brett.
17:31I'm waiting for those people to move so we can get the good lounges.
17:33Yeah, yeah, of course.
17:35Kim?
17:36Have you, um, seen Taff?
17:38No, haven't seen her all day.
17:40I can't find her.
17:41She's been gone since this morning.
17:43I'm scared she might have run away.
17:44She was so upset with Brett.
17:46Oh, she'll turn up.
17:47I'm worried she might have gone over a cliff.
17:49They're lost in a rainforest.
17:51Lying somewhere half-pecked to death by a bush turkey.
17:53They can turn, you know.
17:54I'll help you find her.
17:55Oh, damn it.
18:00Sharon, can you get me some more fries, please?
18:04Sharon?
18:05Yeah?
18:07Oh...
18:08Oh, can you imagine me?
18:10I don't know.
18:13Oh.
18:14Oh.
18:16Oh.
18:17Ah!
18:18Ah!
18:19I'm right!
18:21Ah!
18:24Ah!
18:31If you can hear me!
18:32I'm sorry!
18:34Oh, Cal.
18:36I feel so guilty.
18:38Oh.
18:38I'm so sorry.
18:39You've been so kind.
18:41Maybe we should call the police.
18:44Come on, let's alert the hotel security.
18:49I'll pass you.
18:52Put your foot down, Greg.
19:09Let me out here.
19:10I'll have a quick look around the resort closet.
19:12I'll check on Kim one more time.
19:22Oh, hi, Kel.
19:23What do you think?
19:24MacLeod's daughter?
19:26Taff, we thought you were dead.
19:28What's that?
19:29Quite cool about looking for you.
19:30Oh, no, I've just popped in here after breakfast
19:32and do a bit of gift shopping.
19:33Taff, it's 5.30.
19:35Oh, really?
19:36Oh, well, I've got a lot to buy.
19:38Look what I've got.
19:39Look what I've got for Marday and my Indomates.
19:41Pet rocks.
19:42Aren't they cute?
19:42Look at that.
19:43And look, I was thinking,
19:45what about this for Marion?
19:46Oh, I love it.
19:47Look, it's a peanut pod necklace
19:49and then this one for Barb Cousins.
19:50Look, it's a sexy pig on a blanket.
19:52Isn't that cute?
19:53And this one, look.
19:55Dinosaur and a tutu.
19:56I thought that'd be great for showing us
19:57a bit harder.
19:58She'd love that.
19:59Yeah, I'm going to get her.
20:00Yeah, I found her.
20:01Yeah, she's all right.
20:03And my credit card's taking a bit of a baffering.
20:07And I found your parrot earring.
20:09Oh, that's not mine, Kel.
20:10And it's not a parrot, it's a cassowary.
20:13Yeah, I've never been able to wear cassowaries.
20:15I've got a square face.
20:31Oh, that's a good bit.
20:33Oh, that is.
20:35Oh, who took a big bite out of the snowball
20:37and just left it there?
20:38Oh, sorry, Mrs. D.
20:40That was me.
20:40I'm allergic to marshmallows.
20:43Oh.
20:43Oh, so now you're snowball tampering.
20:45That is not funny, Tim.
20:47Oh, yeah.
20:49Oh, Brett.
20:50Here.
20:51Here's a present I got for you in Coolant.
20:53I forgot to give it to you.
20:55Yeah.
20:57Yeah, it's a bit old joke, half-earned.
20:59Oh.
20:59But no, seriously, I think we all learned some important lessons on the holiday.
21:03Like, for instance, I learned that I've been a bit cavalier with your privacy.
21:07You know, that what you and Kim do is your own business.
21:10Thanks, doll.
21:11What?
21:12Anyway, Brett, tell me, did you get to have an orgasm at the resort?
21:16Sorry?
21:16Oh, because Kel and I had about eight on the last night.
21:19Yeah.
21:19A happy hour, didn't we, doll?
21:20Yeah, they were fantastic.
21:22Must have been that fresh Queensland pineapple.
21:24Oh, yes.
21:25I asked the waiter for the recipe.
21:26Oh, thank you.
21:27We could have a couple tonight, I reckon.
21:30Mmm, yum.
21:32Kim, did I tell you that on the plane up here to Curlham, Kel and I joined the Mile High
21:35Club.
21:37Hello?
21:38Revolting?
21:38Oh, no, it was great.
21:40Well worth the initial outlay, because now I get to have a point every time I fly.
21:44Literally.
21:45Yuck!
21:45Oh, we've got to use the business class toot.
21:48You can even have a spread in the lounge, if that's your thing.
21:50Oh, look at casting.
21:52You had sex on the plane.
21:54What?
21:55We joined the Qantas Club membership.
21:58Oh.
21:59Actually, I haven't read if sex is included.
22:01I think that's the premium club members, actually.
22:03You know, Ray Fines, et cetera, et cetera.
22:06Mum?
22:07Yeah?
22:07I'm thinking I have to go to rehab.
22:10Rehab?
22:10Yeah, well, you know, everyone I know is there.
22:13Brittany, Lindsay, Robbie, Keith.
22:15No, I've realised now I think I'm an addict.
22:17Yeah, well, a food addict, absolutely.
22:19The number of hash browns you put away this morning at breakfast.
22:22No, Mum.
22:23This is serious.
22:25Haven't you noticed how many times I've been going into the toilet?
22:28Brett says he can smell it on me all the time.
22:30I'm getting paranoid.
22:31I know people are looking at me, knowing I'm using.
22:35Using?
22:36Using what, Kim?
22:37What, cocaine?
22:38Ice?
22:39No.
22:39Who?
22:40Spray tins.
22:41I can't stop.
22:43I'm spraying whenever I can.
22:45I need to go to rehab.
22:46Yes, well, I have noticed your fluorescent at the moment.
22:49Yeah.
22:50Oh, well, all right, Kim.
22:51I'll talk to Brett.
22:52Maybe we should stage an exfoliation tonight.
22:55I think I'd be for the best.
22:57All right.
22:58I'll just put it down there.
22:59Where are you going?
23:00Yeah, I've got to go to the toilet.
23:02No, Kim, don't.
23:03Don't sit down.
23:03No, no, I really have to go to the toilet.
23:05That's gone straight through me.
23:06I think it's the coconut.
23:07All right.
23:07Nature calls.
23:09Nature calls.
23:09But your nature is calling.
23:11So pretty sound.
23:13Sound of Australia.
23:14Beautiful.
23:15Sound of Australia.