How To Have COURAGE! Listener Questions

Stefan Molyneux

Philosopher Stefan Molyneux explains how to have courage by showing that standing up for truth and right action requires allies and the willingness to risk betrayal or humiliation. He encourages choosing courage over regret so people stop shrinking from public battles and moral tests.  0:00:00 Credibility  0:05:59 Marriage and Moral Authority  0:11:47 When Teachings Survive Failure  0:19:07 Nothing and the Universe  0:21:26 Reaching a Radical Son  0:26:48 Meaning, Meaninglessness, and Purpose  0:27:38 The Dating Market Debate  0:37:09 Finding the Exceptional Match  0:41:41 Courage and Loyal Allies   GET FREEDOMAIN MERCH! https://shop.freedomain.com/  SUBSCRIBE TO ME ON X! https://x.com/StefanMolyneux  Follow me on Youtube! https://www.youtube.com/@freedomain1  GET MY NEW BOOK 'PEACEFUL PARENTING', THE INTERACTIVE PEACEFUL PARENTING AI, AND THE FULL AUDIOBOOK! https://peacefulparenting.com/  Join the PREMIUM philosophy community on the web for free!  Subscribers get 12 HOURS on the "Truth About the French Revolution," multiple interactive multi-lingual philosophy AIs trained on thousands of hours of my material - as well as AIs for Real-Time Relationships, Bitcoin, Peaceful Parenting, and Call-In Shows!  You also receive private livestreams, HUNDREDS of exclusive premium shows, early release podcasts, the 22 Part History of Philosophers series and much more!  See you soon! https://freedomain.locals.com/support/promo/FREEDOMAIN2026

Transcript

00:00All right, good morning everybody, Stephen Molyneux from Freedomain, and lovely questions

00:06from the lovely people on xx.com slash Stephen Molyneux. If, if, if a prominent Christian teacher

00:19who spent years publicly promoting virtue, strong marriage, family values, and Christian principles

00:23suddenly announces his divorce from his wife after a long marriage and raising seven children

00:27together, in your opinion, does this invalidate or undermine the credibility of all his prior

00:34teachings on those topics? What immovable object, if any, would justify separation, despite the Bible

00:40teaching that divorce is only permissible for adultery? Well, that's, I mean, it's a very

00:44interesting question, and I am of two minds about this as a whole. It is the question of,

00:53if someone is fat, right, you've heard me say this a million times before, if someone

00:59is fat, can they sell a diet book? If someone is a chain smoker, can they sell a smoking cessation

01:08program, right? Can I sell miracle hair growth with my excessively bald pate? So it's an interesting

01:18question. As a whole, we need to be efficient in life. And we do not have, in our short mortal

01:29span,

01:30time to examine everyone's crazy system. So I think it makes sense that if I promote peaceful parenting,

01:41I mean, the first thing would be to ask is, A, am I a parent? B, am I an involved

01:48parent? And C,

01:50do I have a good relationship with my child or children? And of course, I am a parent. I have

01:58been a very involved parent because I've had the joy and privilege and bliss of working from home

02:05and homeschooling my daughter. We have spent a huge amount of time together and we enjoy each other's

02:11company. Occasionally she pops up on this show and we have a lot of fun and all of that. So

02:16hopefully

02:17that makes some kind of sense. So if there is something that is unusual that is coming down

02:25the pipeline, if somebody says, you know, the all bacon and margarine diet is the way to health,

02:33all bacon, all margarine, right? Someone comes along. If they don't appear to be healthy,

02:38what do you, what do you know? Well, if they're following their own diet and all other things

02:45being equal, if they're following their own diet and are like obviously unhealthy, obese or something

02:50like that, if they're following their own diet and they're obese, then it's pretty tough for them to

02:56say with credibility that the diet is healthy. If they are not following their own diet, but they're

03:02claiming that this diet is essential and healthy and good and great and all of that, then we have

03:07the problem that this man claims to care about his diet, claims it's the best thing, but doesn't

03:15follow his own diet, which means it's kind of a con. It cannot be true that something is essential,

03:24important, but you don't do it yourself. Especially if you're hiding that you don't do it yourself.

03:30Let's say that the guy hires a fit guy who doesn't follow his diet to be on the cover of

03:35his diet

03:36book or something like that. If I say telling the truth is important, but I'm some pathological liar,

03:44then I clearly don't think that the truth is important. I just say it, which is kind of a con.

03:50If you say a virtue of value is important and you don't follow it yourself,

03:54then you're lying because there's something of more importance than that value for yourself.

04:03And this is particularly true of unusual things. So, you know, Jordan Peterson,

04:09Michaela Peterson, when she's not chasing a crazy guy inhabited by a demon called Igor,

04:15or I'm not kidding about that. Look it up. They say all beef, is that the carnival diet,

04:21the lion diet, or it's the all beef diet is the way to go. That's the thing to do for

04:25sure,

04:25for sure, for sure. Well, that's an unusual situation. It's an unusual diet choice. It's

04:32an unusual thing to hear about. It goes very much against the grain, which is fine. I mean,

04:36I go against the grain in a lot of ways too, so I'm not condemning that out of hand,

04:40of course, but it's a very unusual approach to dieting. So we would expect positive outcomes

04:48for these things. So given that we don't have time to evaluate and experiment on ourselves,

04:59there are probably at least 100,000 different dietary approaches in the world, 10,000 or something

05:06like that. So given that we don't have the time to experiment upon ourselves, all these different

05:11dietary options, we have to do a shorthand or shortcuts, which has to do with, okay, so this

05:18person says this diet is important. Are they following it themselves? And if they are following

05:24it themselves, are they having beneficial outcomes? Are they public about, you know, maybe their blood

05:30work or, you know, their medications as a whole, or hopefully few or none in terms of medications?

05:37So are they doing all of that? Is someone living by the values that they advocate for? Now that's

05:45more to do with unusual stuff. So if somebody says, you need food in order to survive, or you need

05:51to

05:51breathe in order to survive, we don't take that with a lot of skepticism because that's kind of

05:56understood. That's kind of mainstream. That's basic biology. And so in the some way says, if somebody

06:02says, strong marriage, family values, Christian principles, announces his divorce from his wife

06:07after a long marriage and raising seven children together, does this undermine the credibility of

06:12all his prior teachings on those topics? I don't think so. I don't think so. I don't think so.

06:21If somebody has really good advice on how to quit drugs and then encounter some particular

06:25life stressor ends up back on those drugs, it doesn't invalidate everything that they said

06:31before. And requiring perfection in order to accept a belief system is a way of avoiding

06:41any strictness in belief systems. And it's kind of true, of course. I mean, I think I have this

06:47habit. I think everyone has this habit to some degree, where the fall from grace is greeted with a

06:53kind of relief. Because if somebody says, you know, here's how to live, here's what to do,

06:59here's how to be. And then that person has a fairly spectacular fall from grace, you know,

07:06the pride goeth before a fall. And there is a relief of tension. I mean, we all want to do

07:14good,

07:15we all want to be honest. But it's tough. I mean, it's tough being honest in a world that thrives

07:23and

07:23survives on lies. So when we see a moralist fall from grace, it gives us a little bit of relief.

07:32Like we are suspended between the angels and the animals. We are absolutely suspended between the

07:38angels and the animals. And we are drawn upwards to the angelic. And we are drawn downwards towards

07:46the animalistic. Because we evolve from animals. And yet we participate in universal morals,

07:53abstractions and virtues. So we are torn in two, like this medieval torture where they'd get

08:00horses to pull a person apart. We're kind of torn in two. I would love to be abstract,

08:06moral, John Galt, Socrates, heroic guy. But at the same time, I'm also drawn towards the animal

08:14pleasures and cunning and all of that sort of stuff. I think this is a fairly common mind-body

08:20dichotomy, right? It's a fairly common thing in society as a whole. There are things that I do that

08:27are physically very enjoyable, and they cut into the time that I can do philosophy. And I, of course,

08:37wish to tell the truth and to be humble. But of course, there's also vanity and the desire to be

08:42right. I sort of noticed that on X, everything I promote as the good is kind of stuff I've already

08:49done, right? Like, oh, you got to do manual labor to really ground yourself in reality. Hey, I did

08:54manual labor. You know, got to work out. Hey, I work out. You know, I mean, I have to sort

08:58of watch

08:58that I don't put myself forward as a template of the definition of the good person or the good life

09:04and so on, right? Which is why I'm often telling people, I tell people as a whole, I try never

09:09to

09:09feel superior, particularly when I'm talking to younger people. You've heard me say this a million

09:14times, like, you're further ahead than I was at your age. And, you know, we're all down here in

09:19the trenches, but these battles, I don't want you to, I'm not trying to lecture you from any place

09:23of superiority, right? So the humility is, I think, really, really important. So I work on that kind

09:28of stuff. And so when we see someone who is taking on battles and surviving, if not thriving,

09:40part of us wants to take on those same battles, but part of us also wants to hide from those

09:46battles,

09:47keep our heads low, and find a way to survive. Because that's what most of, almost all of our

09:54ancestors, I mean, like with maybe four exceptions, almost all of our ancestors, when faced with

10:01political power, with the power of the tribe, the power of the witch doctors, and so on, simply nodded,

10:08kept their head down, found a way to reproduce, and survived. So that's what we do. And so we want

10:14to

10:14take on the battles. We want to do the right thing. We also want to survive. And it's a tension.

10:21Tell the truth, put yourself in danger. Lie, and feel humiliated. It's either physical danger,

10:29or the danger of self-reproach. I mean, I do want to, you know, I'm going to be 60 in

10:36a couple of

10:36months. So I am sort of thinking about life as a whole, and the last decade or two, or hopefully

10:43a

10:43little more. And I do sort of want to get to the end of my life and say, I did

10:49as much philosophy as I

10:50could. I pushed the needle to the red. So I got as much interesting, challenging, exciting philosophy

10:57out there in the world as I could, which means tell as much truth for as long as possible,

11:04which means don't get killed, right? So when we see a moralist fall from grace,

11:11it releases or reduces some of that tension that we have, which is to ascend to the angelic,

11:18or to descend to the bestial, to the animal, to the heathenistic, to the cunning, to the survival,

11:25to the bob and weave, the dodge and reproduce, lay low, find a way to survive, you know, slave

11:32reproduction. And that sounds like it's a big condemnation. I don't mean it in that way at all.

11:38I'm glad that my ancestors did not ascend to the angelic, because ascending to the angelic

11:43usually means joining the angels in death. So it doesn't, I say, undermine the credibility of all

11:52his prior teachings on those topics. Well, let's take a silly example. There is a great math teacher

12:00who becomes senile and forgets all of his proofs. He gets Alzheimer's or something like that,

12:08and he becomes senile. And he forgets all of his proofs, and he can no longer explain the

12:14Pythagorean theorem or Fermat's last theorem or things like that, right? Does that mean that his

12:21prior mathematical teachings are false? No, no, of course not, right? Arnold Schwarzenegger does not

12:30look as good now as he did in his 20s. I mean, it's aging, right? He's a great guy as

12:38far as health

12:39goes. He's done a lot of good with regards to health and all of that, but he obviously does not

12:43look as good now as he did in his 20s, right? It makes sense. Does that mean that his education

12:54about health, exercise, nutrition is invalid? Well, no, he's just aging, right? Now, of course,

13:01we hope that people who have moral ideals are going to continue to follow them, particularly as

13:08they age, but not always. And sometimes it's going to be because of physical decay, and sometimes it

13:16could be for other reasons of health. So, for instance, let's say that his wife, when she,

13:24this man's wife, when she went through menopause, became unstable, which can happen, right? Hormones,

13:31I don't know if you've ever had it. I had it, or I had a little sister moved, and I

13:37couldn't exercise

13:37for a couple of weeks, and I got a little aggressive, and I could feel that sort of temper in

13:44me. And

13:47so, it could be that for reasons to do with hormonal imbalances or other things, that she became

13:55unstable. It could be that she had a brain tumor or a brain injury or something like that, which

14:02caused her personality to fundamentally change. And so, these things can happen. He also, right,

14:10the prominent Christian teacher, it could also be that he encountered a philosophical argument or a

14:20scientific argument that undermined his faith. Or it could be that she encountered a philosophical or

14:27scientific argument that undermined her faith. And that could be the case as well. It could be,

14:36instead of moving further away from faith, it could be that one partner in the marriage moved

14:42closer and closer to faith. In other words, they prayed to God, and God said, I need you to give

14:49up all your worldly possessions, you know, sell everything you own, give the money to the poor,

14:53and follow me. It could be that somebody has a religious vision or a perceived encounter with the

14:58divine that causes an escalation in the pursuit of faith that is not acceptable to the other person.

15:06It could be, if this person was prominent, and you know that some of the, it's true of religious

15:11leaders as a whole, I know a little bit more about the Christians, that some of the Christian

15:16preachers, the sort of televangelist style, they are, well, you know, God needs me to have this

15:21private jet so I can do the Lord's work, and God needs me to have three Rolls-Royce cars so

15:25I can do

15:26the Lord's work, and so on. So, it could be that, let's say, the man has had a vision or

15:33an

15:33encounter in his mind with the divine, and God says to him, you have become too shallow,

15:38too materialistic, too concerned with status, too concerned with money, you own too many things,

15:43this all needs to change. And then he begins the process of divesting resources, could happen to

15:49the wife as well, and the other partner finds that unacceptable, could be anything to do with that,

15:56and so there could be a number of reasons as to why this could have happened. It could also have

16:04happened that for some reason or other, and this again can be to do with hormones, it can be to

16:10do

16:11with prior trauma that is emerging, like in my opinion, a lot of postpartum depression has to do

16:18with prior infant trauma in the mother, generally, it's the mother re-emerging as she holds her baby.

16:26So, it could be that, let's say, the wife has developed a revulsion for sexual activity, for some

16:33reason, could be hormonal, could be prior trauma, could be physiological or something like that,

16:40and if this is a healthy man, he wants to have sex, if his wife is not having sex with

16:47him for

16:48whatever reason, then that could be a problem as well. Is that a form of adultery? I think so,

16:53yeah, I think it is a form of cheating to not have sex with your partner, assuming no major medical

17:00issues, of course. So, if somebody says, strong marriage, yeah, I mean, that just sounds nice,

17:08right? It just sounds nice, like strong body, okay, but family values and Christian principles

17:13announces his divorce. I think what is tough is that divorce is brutal, of course, on the family

17:20as a whole, divorce is brutal on the community, and this person, this, I think it's a man, his divorce,

17:27yeah. So, if he's going to announce his divorce, I think he needs to do it in a way that

17:33is

17:33comprehensible to his audience. So, if he has gained credibility because he has a strong marriage and

17:42he pronounces his family values, Christian values, and fidelity, and monogamy, and commitment to

17:48marriage, and so on. So, if he has gained his credibility as, in part, as a result of his

17:53marriage, if the marriage fails, he needs to follow the thou shalt not bear false witness.

18:00Thou shalt not bear false witness. Which means, if he has invited credibility into his life as the

18:06result of his strong marriage, if his marriage breaks apart, he needs to be honest as to why.

18:11And I don't know that, this, we grew apart kind of stuff, you know, people tend to minimize the

18:15reasons for divorce, and the reasons for divorce are usually pretty brutal, usually pretty brutal.

18:21And if people minimize it, like, oh, it's just a conscious uncoupling, we just kind of vaguely

18:26drifted apart, or I traveled a lot, and we're just not as close as you. Like, you can fix all

18:30of that,

18:30right? You can fix all of that. And so, if you have made your marriage public, then I think,

18:40again, based on Christian principles of thou shalt not bear false witness, which means tell the truth

18:46in important matters. Thou shalt not, it doesn't say thou shalt not lie, it says thou shalt not bear

18:51false witness. Now, witness is, like, think of a courtroom, right? These are sort of very big

18:56and important moral issues. You know, I don't think you go to hell if somebody says, how you doing

19:01today, you have a headache, but you say, not bad, I'm fine. I don't think that's a going to hell

19:06situation, so. Okay, I hope that makes sense. Somebody asked, was there ever a time in the

19:11history of the universe where nothing existed? Well, sorry to be pedantic, nothing can't exist.

19:18Nothing is the absence of existence. I just did a show last night on the monstrous lie of 95%

19:28of

19:28physics is, cosmological physics, intergalactic physics, is based on made-up matter and energy,

19:36for which there's no evidence. There's a need for it, but there's no evidence for it. So,

19:41there is the Big Bang, which is infinitesimally small singularity point of energy, triggers some

19:50sort of explosion, and the matter goes out and over tens of thousands of years cools and transforms

19:56into atoms and that equals mc squared formula. So, it's interesting, of course, if the universe has

20:05an origin point, but no end point, then what physicists say is, well, we have no idea what caused

20:1213.8 billion years ago the universe to explode into existence, so to speak. And, of course, I understand

20:22that God is not much of an answer, but when physicists say, well, maybe the matter came in from

20:30another dimension, that's also not any kind of answer as well. So, certainly, if we go back to 13.9

20:39billion years, as far as I understand it, there was no universe because the universe is time, space,

20:47matter, and energy, and it kind of started. Now, whether there is a Big Bang, Big Crunch, universe

20:54goes out, comes back in like a giant cosmic heartbeat, there's not much evidence for that unless they start

20:59really tweaking the attraction or repulsion properties of dark energy. So, there was a time

21:07in the history of the universe where nothing existed as we understand it now. So, that is certainly the

21:15case. All right. I said something can't come from nothing, so the answer is no. God has always existed

21:20and was never created. Certainly seems a little bit more credible to me than it was a couple of days

21:25ago. All right. He says, I have two sons that I've raised as a single dad. They're great boys and

21:30I

21:30took some advice from you about peaceful parenting long ago. Thank you for that, by the way. One of my

21:34sons has recently fallen prey to this particularly strong political rhetoric and so on. How do I bring

21:43him back? Well, that's a good question. How do you bring people back from what would, I hate to be

21:50harsh or extremist because those aren't really good descriptions of belief systems, but let's say

21:55let's just say your son believes things that you believe are false. Your son believes things

22:02that you believe are false. Well, the most important thing to do is to listen to the beliefs. Don't oppose

22:14them. Listen to the beliefs. I mean, I believe some things my daughter thinks is false. Everyone in my

22:24life believes things that I don't believe to one degree or another and I believe things that people

22:31in my life don't believe and that's fine, right? We have conversations and we all try and polish this

22:37disco ball into some kind of truth radiator. So, how do you bring him back? Well, you have to listen

22:44and examine the logic and evidence behind what he believes. So, we end up with false beliefs

22:54because we are given bad evidence and have good reasoning or we are given good evidence and we

23:03have bad reasoning. Of course, it's possible that we're given bad evidence and we have bad reasoning

23:07and so on, but it's the reason and evidence. The evidence comes first. What is the evidence for your

23:13belief? Is there any way to chip away at that evidence? Is that evidence true or is that evidence

23:19false? Well, you would look at the evidence and do your own research and watch the videos that have

23:26or the whatever it is that has caused him to have these perspectives or beliefs, hopefully more than

23:32opinions. So, you dig into the evidence and if the evidence is false, then you provide counter evidence

23:42and you don't have to argue the reasoning because you are overturning the evidence, right? I mean,

23:51if your son believes, I'm not saying he does, right? If he believes you let go of an egg and

23:54it floats in

23:56the air, well, you don't need to go through all the reasoning. You just need to disprove that by

24:01holding an egg and letting it go and it drops, right? So, look at the evidence behind his beliefs

24:09and find out if the beliefs are false, then either it's bad evidence, in which case, the reasoning that

24:17follows after bad evidence doesn't really matter because it's, if you say, all men are octopi,

24:24Socrates is a man, therefore Socrates is an octopi, you don't need to look at the last two parts,

24:30right? Of the syllogism, you just need to look at the principle, right? If, I mean, in logic,

24:37all men are octopi, Socrates is a man, therefore Socrates is an octopi, is valid, in other words,

24:43it follows syllogistic logical structures, it's just false because men aren't octopi. That's octopuses in

24:49a pie, just for those who are in the 3.14159628 limbs. So, look at the evidence. Now, if the

25:00evidence,

25:00evidence is strong, then the false beliefs must come from bad reasoning from good evidence.

25:10Bad reasoning from good evidence. So, let's say that many years ago in the past, before photos

25:17and social media, let's say that your son grew up in a town or in a little village or a

25:24tribe where

25:25there were only redheads, like Scottish or Irish or something like that. And so, he says,

25:31all human beings have red hair. Now, the evidence is strong. Every human being around him has red hair.

25:38So, you can't say that he's wrong in terms of the evidence. You could say it's incomplete and so on,

25:47right? So, everyone around me is a human being. Everyone around me has red hair. Therefore,

25:53all human beings have red hair. Well, of course, the error is in the last part in that you can't

25:58extrapolate from personal experience to all humans. You can say all humans have teeth, or at least all

26:06humans are born with teeth. And, you know, except for some very, very strange genetic mutations I

26:10can't even conceive of, that is kind of true. Or you can call it eye teeth, right? You ever see

26:15a baby's

26:16girl that's kind of freaky? So, if it's bad evidence, then you simply overturn the evidence

26:24and the reasoning falls from there. If it's good evidence, and there's false beliefs, it's bad

26:29reasoning from there. So, with the redhead example, that's good evidence, but you can't extrapolate

26:35to all humans just from the humans around you, right? So, if there's good evidence and good

26:44reasoning, well, then you, I'm afraid you have to be willing to be convinced. So, these are just

26:50general structure, right? What is the meaning of life? Meaning arises out of not fulfilling your

26:58potential, the question of meaning. I don't question the meaning of my life. I do good works. I

27:04battle evil. I promote virtue. I live semi-dangerously, and so on. So, I don't worry about

27:10the meaning of my life. It never even really crosses my mind. Like, what's the meaning of all

27:13of this, right? So, in general, it is, I'm not calling you a coward, but in general, it is cowardice

27:20that generates the problem of meaning. If you actively promote virtue, and you fight evil, and you have

27:27an interesting, exciting life because of that, you have your victories, you have your losses, and so on,

27:33then you don't worry about meaning. All right. Somebody says, I think you underestimate how

27:42shitty and warped the current dating market is for young people. Certainly, look, it's always

27:47possible. I do actually know quite a few young people. A lot of my listeners are younger. I've

27:52had endless conversations with young people, both publicly and privately, about some of these

27:58challenges. So, there's no question. Yeah, the women have been programmed, and the men have been

28:03programmed, and so on. However, so here's the challenge that I face. The challenge that I face

28:10is if the young men around were demonstrably high quality, right? They had good oral hygiene,

28:19white teeth. They took care of their skin. They had good haircuts. They had good posture.

28:24They exercised. They dressed reasonably well. I'm not talking about seeing some Adam and Fock

28:30dandy planet, but, you know, dressed reasonably well. They had good eye contact. They had a firm

28:37handshake. They had some reasonable conversational skills. They were, you don't have to be some

28:43stand-up comic, but, you know, some reasonable ability to be funny, to make people laugh. Women

28:51desperately need men to make them laugh, because women have a tendency to fall into over-seriousness,

28:56and men have a tendency to fall into over-frivolity, and so the weight of the woman and the helium

29:02of

29:03the man tend to produce stability over time. So, when I look around, as a whole, as I sort of

29:10roam

29:10through life and see things as I do, I see a lot more women taking care of their appearance

29:19than men, and it's a fairly common observation that there seem to be a lot more attractive women

29:25than there are attractive men, and I'm not talking about things beyond your control, like your bone

29:30structure or your height or things like that. I'm just talking about a sense of grooming, a sense of

29:36presentation, and so on, right? So, women, young women go to what to me would be, obviously, as a

29:43man, fairly excessive lengths to find, you know, cute outfits, and to figure out what the right haircut

29:49is, and to make sure that they are attractive and presentable, and so on. And I see a lot of

29:56young

29:56men slouching around with a copy-paste broccoli haircut, some pretty bad skin, and no eye contact. I don't

30:03know if it comes from some of the furtiveness of pornography addiction, or maybe just video game

30:07bad posture stuff or whatever, but there's just not a lot of confidence. Now, I sympathize with young

30:14men about that, because there has been, particularly young white men, just massive assault on their

30:20confidence and self-esteem. I totally get that, and I really do sympathize with that. However, there is,

30:26of course, the internet, which wasn't around when I was a young man going through a lot of the same

30:30misogyny. It wasn't quite as anti-white, but it certainly was anti-male stuff that I went through

30:37as a kid, so I didn't have the counterweight of the internet for that kind of stuff, so the

30:45propaganda wasn't as intense, but the counter-propaganda was virtually non-existent.

30:50Maybe you could go to the library and come across some book that might help you with counter-arguments,

30:55but that was hard. You didn't even know they existed, you wouldn't know where to find them,

30:58and you didn't know which ones were any good. So, it's true, propaganda has escalated since I was

31:04young, but counter-propaganda has increased much more than propaganda. And, of course, young people,

31:13young men in particular, tend to be skeptical of all forms of authority, as they should be.

31:19So, when I look around, as I do, I sort of note, young women seem to be putting a fair

31:26amount of care

31:27into their appearance, and the young men are not in particular. And young men also appear to be

31:36somewhat skittish. Now, of course, I get, you know, that there's some women who, you approach them,

31:41they'll put you on blast on social media, that can be a problem. And so, I get all of that,

31:46for sure.

31:46I get all of that. But it wasn't like those problems were non-existent in my generation.

31:52I mean, if you approach the wrong girl in high school, and she made fun of you and put you

31:56on

31:56blast in the high school, okay, it wasn't Instagram, but it still had a pretty strong effect on your

32:00dating prospects. So, all of that stuff was a challenge as well. The internet is just high school

32:09writ large. And, of course, but when you're 15 or 16 or 17 years old, high school is your world,

32:16right? So, I get all of that. The current dating market is warped for young people. There's also

32:24an aspect where, and I've talked about this with some call-in show people as well, that someone says,

32:32well, I'm, let's say, I'm an agnostic, and I met this girl, I kind of like her, but she's somewhat

32:38religious, and therefore, it's not going to work. I strongly disagree with that as a whole.

32:45Most people, and I say this also including myself when I was young too, most people,

32:51they don't know what they believe. When I was younger, I was a socialist, because socialism

32:56just seemed like a positive, nice, friendly, helpful, you know, all the propaganda that goes

33:01along with it. And so, if some capitalist girl had met me, and I said, I'm a socialist,

33:08and if she said, well, I'm not going to date a guy who's a socialist, well, how about you try

33:13to teach people something? Most people, when they're young, do not know why they believe. They don't even

33:20know what they believe. They just have a bunch of slogans stuffed in their head, and they have been

33:25rewarded and punished for compliance with these belief structures. So, if you meet a woman,

33:33let's say you're an atheist, you meet a woman who's somewhat religious, oh, talk to her. Ask her

33:38questions, her history, you can talk to her about your perspective. I mean, somebody doesn't have to

33:45believe what you believe when you meet them. Now, of course, if you believe that you shouldn't pour

33:54whiskey on hobos, and she's like, no, I think you should, okay, that's a moral thing, that's a sort

33:58of a different example, right? If she's very keen on shoplifting, right, that might be it. But in terms

34:07of just general philosophical beliefs, beliefs about reality and truth and so on, if she's a relativist,

34:13and you're an absolutist when it comes to morals, okay, so maybe you can be chipped away at things,

34:21and maybe you're an absolutist in things that are a bit more relative, maybe she can be shored up in

34:25some of the core stuff, so you can exchange values and virtues with each other. My wife and I did

34:30not

34:31believe all the same things when we met, but I think there's been a cross-pollination that has been

34:38positive. So, I think, I mean, women have been heavily propagandized, and it's not women's fault

34:47fundamentally that they've been so heavily propagandized. Women, biologically, in my view,

34:51I mean, women score very high in the big five personality trait called agreeableness,

34:57which means that they find it very tough to descend from the group. Men, boys, find it much easier to

35:04dissent from the group. And that's, I think, I personally think that's hardwired. So, it's not quite the same

35:15as blaming women for having breasts, but it's not the opposite either. So, women are easier, young women

35:23in particular, are easier to program because they are more susceptible to group consensus. And that's out of

35:30evolution, and there's positive reasons for that. But that's why, you know, that's why in the Garden

35:37of Eden, the serpent, Satan, goes for Eve, not Adam, because Eve is more susceptible to being talked

35:44into and out of things. Consensus is essential. Of course, remember, women, it's really hard to

35:50understand female nature without remembering that women were regularly conquered throughout history.

35:56And women who were able to adapt to the new consensus of the new rulers got to reproduce.

36:01Women who fought to the death to oppose the new rulers didn't reproduce, probably just got killed

36:08or something like that, right? Or sold into slavery or something like that. So, women have to have a bit

36:14of a weathervane changing consensus because they tend to survive invasions because of their, I mean,

36:20young women in particular, youth and fertility. And of course, a lot of invasions are for females. So,

36:27women just have a bit of a weathervane consensus thing. Not all women, blah, blah, blah, right? It's a

36:31little bit more than men. And so, the idea that you have to take people as they are when you

36:38meet them

36:38and not work to reason with them and let them reason with you and find some truth that is in

36:44the

36:45middle or cross-pollination and so on, it's not valid. It's not reasonable. You're not going to

36:51meet someone who's just like yourself. And if you do, that's actually not a good thing.

36:56If I met someone who was just like myself when I was 16, 17, 18, I wouldn't have grown. We

37:03would

37:03have just nodded at each other and told each other how right and true and wonderful and perfect we were

37:08and I wouldn't have grown. So, sure, the dating market is bad. Again, I'm not talking to the general

37:15public. I'm talking to the top 1% of intelligence, people who can follow these arguments, who are

37:20willing to accept these perspectives and follow this reasoning. Smart, smart people, top 1%.

37:28So, if I'm training Olympic athletes and they say, well, but the pickup games around me are of low

37:36quality. I'd say, well, sure, but we're not aiming to put you into a pickup game in the local

37:41neighborhood. We're aiming to put you on the gold podium at the Olympics. So, of course, if you're

37:49a listener to this show, this conversation, you are looking for an unusually high-quality, thoughtful,

37:57reasonable woman. And she's looking for you too. And she's not finding it among most of the men and

38:02you're not finding it among most of the women. So, if you want to get into the NBA and you

38:07say,

38:07but most people in my neighborhood aren't good at basketball, I would say to you, well, yes, by

38:15definition, that's true. But you want to find people who are great at basketball so you can improve

38:22your skills and get to the NBA or something like that. So, sure, it is the case. So, half of

38:29women have

38:30tattoos. Half of young women in America, I think it is, have tattoos. That's terrible.

38:35That's terrible. But you're not looking for half of women, if you're a listener to this show.

38:40You're looking for 1-2% of women. Now, the fact that a lot of women have crazy hair colors,

38:47obese, septum piercings, tattoos, slovenly, chaotic, debt-ridden, whatever, right? So, yeah,

38:55but you're not, you're not trying to date the majority of people. You're trying to find

39:01the diamond and she's trying to find you. So, don't look at the average. If you're a listener

39:07to this show, don't look at the average and feel despair, right? If you're a fantastic musician

39:14and you say, well, geez, man, most of the people around me, they don't even play any music. I'm never

39:19going to make it. It's like, you got to find, you know, your Steven Tyler, Joe Perry, your Art and

39:25Garfunkel, your, like, whatever partnership or pairing is going to be a David Lee Roth and Eddie

39:31Van Halen or whatever guitarist and singer. It's kind of a combo. So, you are going to want to find

39:40the people at your level. And that means discarding the vast majority of people. You know, the band

39:46Genesis after Peter Gabriel left, if I remember rightly, it's either someone like, they auditioned

39:50like 200 singers or maybe it was 400 singers. They couldn't find the right fit. And then Phil

39:55Collins, the drummer, took on the vocal duties. He's got a slightly nasal, but very distinctive

40:01voice. And a distinctive voice is very key, right? When Anderson, Bruford, Wakeman and Howe were working

40:08on a pretty great album that they did after Yes broke up. You know, one of the reasons that John

40:13Anderson got involved was that the record producer said, I mean, the singing is nice, but you need

40:18somebody with a more distinctive voice. Because a distinctive voice, you know, like Sting's or

40:22John Anderson's or Phil Collins or whatever, like where you hear someone on the radio and it doesn't

40:28sound like just about everybody else. That's very important. It's a branding. It's a differentiator.

40:33And so, yeah, the band Genesis went through hundreds of singers trying to find a singer

40:38and it didn't work. They couldn't find one. And these are people, you know, like the guy who sang

40:46the Mike and Mechanic songs, Living Years, I think it's called. I mean, that guy could sing the phone

40:52book. He's an amazing singer. Or Paul Young, also when he was in his 80s prime. You know, Wherever I

40:57Lay

40:57My Hat and Wonderland and Love of the Common People. Fantastic songs. He also wrote a song, actually.

41:08Gosh, what was it? Just a kiss of me. A Broken Man. Broken Man. Listen to that. It's an amazing

41:14song.

41:15I didn't like it when I first heard it. But anyway, very distinctive voice. You know who it is.

41:18So if you want to be a top musician, you can't just look around and say, oh, my God, people

41:23are just bad.

41:24You know, they can't do karaoke. They can only play three chords and chopsticks and maybe most

41:29of them don't even touch. Oh, my God, I'm never going to make it. It's like, but you're not looking

41:32for the average. You're looking for the exceptional. If you listen to this show, you're looking for the

41:38exceptional. Stop wallowing around in the average and losing hope. So I hope that makes sense.

41:44The last question, where does courage come from? How does a person become courageous? So courage

41:50is based on support. Most people are not courageous because they know they're going to be betrayed.

41:57So let's say that for some reason you're squaring off against you. You and four friends are squaring

42:03off against five guys. Now, if you know for a simple fact that your four friends are going to fight

42:10honorably and bravely and with great resolution against these five guys, then you rush in knowing

42:16that there's people with you. If, however, you are pretty sure that three of your five friends are

42:23just going to cut and run, then you lose courage. Courage is to do with support, which is why when

42:29someone like me acts with a reasonable amount of courage, the powers that be aim to separate me

42:35from support, right? So they de-platform me and tell terrible falsehoods about me. And then people

42:42don't follow me as like 97% of my audience didn't follow me to new platforms. And so then I

42:49am

42:51without loyal, staunch companions on the field of intellectual battle. And so it's not cowardice

43:01to refuse to fight when most of your, quote, allies run away. That's reasonable. That's rational,

43:07because otherwise you're just going to get the crap kicked out of you for no particular purpose,

43:12and you can't possibly win, right? So courage is to some degree an internal state, but courage comes

43:18from support in your environment. And if you are supported in your environment, then you can be

43:28courageous. Courage is built, first of all, you want to look at the long term and you want to have

43:34not an excess of courage nor a deficiency of courage. And courage, the opposite of courage is not cowardice,

43:40the opposite of courage is regret. Because if you run from a fight that you, that was important and

43:48virtuous, and you had a reasonable chance of winning, if you run from that fight, then you have

43:53regret. And so you want to avoid future regret. But of course, if you do something that's over

44:01courageous, and then you get wrecked or destroyed or something like that, then you'll also have that

44:06kind of regret, which is, oh, why did I do that? That turned out to be a bad idea. I

44:10shouldn't have

44:10done it, blah, blah, blah, right? I mean, if you go and take on five guys with only you and

44:16a friend

44:17because three friends ran away, and you get both your arms broken, then you're going to be like,

44:22well, that was, well, that was dumb, right? Like, I mean, poor Michael Hutchins, right? Not a, not a

44:27great guy by any stretch, but you know, good, good singer. He got into some stupid fight with a cab

44:33driver, and the cab driver punched him, and he fell, cracked his head, and didn't get treated for the

44:39resulting brain injury, and got darker and darker, and couldn't smell, couldn't taste, and got very

44:46depressed, and ended up, apparently killed him, killed himself. Was it worth it fighting with the cab

44:51driver? Nope. Absolutely not. Absolutely not. Or, is it, Bono from YouTube was biking in New York

45:01City, fell off his bike, and wrecked his arm to the point where he can't even play guitar, and as

45:07the

45:07Edge pointed out, it's really not necessary for his musical success that he play guitar, but if he looks

45:13at that bike ride, or whatever he did on the bike ride, was it a worthwhile bike ride to wreck

45:18his arm

45:19so he can't play guitar? No. So, you have regret, right? You have regret. So, a courage is having

45:27the long-term perspective to avoid regret, either the regret of too much courage, or the regret of

45:31too little courage, but most importantly, courage is based upon who you choose to be your allies. We

45:37can't win fights alone. Who you choose to be your allies is foundational to the amount of courage

45:42you can express. Freedomain.com slash donate. Thank you guys so much. Sorry for the slightly

45:49long ramble at the beginning. Took me a little while to find the right grooves of that, but I

45:53didn't feel like re-recording. So, freedomain.com slash donate to help out the show. I would really

45:57appreciate it. Call.freedomain.com. Let's have a conversation. I look forward to hearing from you.

46:03All the best. Bye.

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