00:00Here's the fun letter from Aetna where they deny our fertility coverage.
00:05Mm-hmm.
00:06The cost of fertility for us has been at least $40,000.
00:11That's really helpful because everyone just says, you'll know.
00:13Yeah.
00:14How?
00:15Yeah.
00:16I think that the fertility industry, there's a bit of taking advantage of the patients
00:20because it is something that people aren't going to speak up about,
00:22and so the costs are just exorbitant.
00:24$1,117.
00:26$9,500.
00:28And then again, $791.
00:30Every month that goes by that we were not starting the family that we wanted,
00:34it was all consuming.
00:35I felt like I was walking around being like, where's our baby?
00:38I'm Melanie.
00:39I'm Ketch.
00:40And we are $50,000 in debt from fertility and baby costs.
00:53Oh my God.
00:55I feel triumphant.
00:56This rug was a big milestone.
00:58We met in Philadelphia in our early 20s.
01:01And we dated for like two and a half years before we got married,
01:05because we're just in it.
01:07Yeah.
01:15We had went back and forth when we were younger about whether we wanted to be parents,
01:19and it always felt really unattainable, especially with like having student loan debt, surgery debt.
01:24We moved together to Rome, Italy in 2016.
01:34We lived there for about two years.
01:37While we were there, we really figured out like we want to have a family.
01:42I love you.
01:43I love you too.
01:47Once we wanted it, it felt so intense and consuming and urgent and just like all we could think about.
01:55All right.
01:57We thought we will just need to do IUIs, which is less involved than IVF.
02:01IUIs were 400 per IUI, plus the sperm, which was like 1,000 per IUI.
02:08Nothing is covered by insurance.
02:09Some insurances were covered, but ours didn't.
02:11We called to enroll in the infertility program to try and get coverage, and they denied us.
02:16Because I'm medically a man to them, but because I can't provide a semen sample because I'm trans,
02:23we can't qualify for infertility.
02:27It's a super emotional journey.
02:30You feel defeated.
02:31It feels hopeless.
02:32Every IUI that didn't work was like watching me have a $2,000 period.
02:37One of the lowest points in the process of trying to get pregnant was when we were trying to decide
02:42if we were going to do IVF,
02:44because it felt like we were saddling ourselves with a debt that was insurmountable.
02:49And it just got to the point where I was like, I just can't have every month be such an
02:53emotional rollercoaster.
02:55I just want to do one more, whatever it costs. Like, let's just do it.
02:58We've compiled all of the costs that we've incurred doing all of our fertility fund.
03:04Going down the list, for example, sperm, $8.51.
03:11Again, $1,117.
03:13Labs, $130.
03:14Labs, $155.
03:15We don't even know what these are for half the time.
03:18Every step of IVF also has a cost.
03:21So, like, preparation of frozen sperm is $500.
03:24Frozen embryo transfer is $4,000.
03:27Yeah.
03:27Egg retrieval, $9,500.
03:31IVF cycle, $9,500.
03:34And it just keeps going and going.
03:36And at the bottom, we find ourselves at a total of $50,372.33.
03:45So, after almost two years of trying, we did our IVF cycle.
03:49We transferred our embryo on Christmas Eve.
03:53And even though we're, like, atheists and punk, we love Christmas.
03:56Because Christmas is, like, glitter and magic.
03:58So, we did a pregnancy test.
04:00And we got a really faint positive line.
04:05That was wild.
04:08Holy shit.
04:09It worked.
04:10We're pregnant.
04:11Oh, my God.
04:12It was really exciting.
04:18We took out four credit cards totaling $25,000.
04:22It turned out that was the cheapest route, cheaper than medical loans or anything else.
04:26So, we've just been working on paying those down.
04:29I do freelance, social media, and content work.
04:32So, I've just been, like, really hustling and doing shoots while 30 weeks pregnant.
04:38And I am a graphic designer and also an artist for work.
04:42In addition to working full-time every night after work, I'm doing custom artwork.
04:48I then make another $2,000 a month that I put directly on the cards.
04:52So, I started this journal when I opened all of the credit cards.
04:55Because, like, I can't even remember to log into some of them.
04:59They're all different banks.
05:00And right now, we're at $13,002.74.
05:03So, we've paid off $37,369.59 in the past two years.
05:11I feel like a big part of, like, being super transparent about the debt that we were able to take
05:16on
05:17is, like, also being super aware of the privilege that we have to even access, like, a credit line like
05:21that.
05:21We were able to take this leave that so many folks can't take.
05:24Just a little bit of science and debt.
05:28A lot of financial adventure.
05:31Leans to chickpea.
05:33Yeah.
05:33A ba-ba.
05:37This is our nursery.
05:40So, this is our stroller.
05:41This normally costs, like, $1,700.
05:44But we got it used off of Facebook for $200.
05:47So, this whole basket of clothes is all hand-me-downs.
05:52A lot of our friends have already had babies before us.
05:53We also ended up getting donations from friends and family.
05:57They came to about, like, $6,000, which was mind-blowing.
06:00So, that helped.
06:03How are you feeling?
06:04I'm okay.
06:05My legs feel really, like, stiff.
06:07What are you kicking?
06:08She was kicking so much during the end of the interview, and it felt a little crampy.
06:12I feel like you're gonna get there, and they're gonna make your own labor.
06:16There was no way I could have expected that it would be $25,000 in IVF alone just to get
06:22pregnant.
06:23It's, like, always up here, where I'm like, what are you doing?
06:27You just have no idea how much these things cost until you start the process.
06:30It's been challenging and stressful and painful, but we're also very privileged to even be in this position.
06:36Hi.
06:37Good.
06:37How are you?
06:39Good.
06:40I think our friends understand the decision to take on the fertility debt because everybody's been in kind of similar
06:46situations of either taking on grad school debt or house debt.
06:49I think debt is just a universal millennial experience at this point.
06:57Yay!
06:58Heartbeat!
06:58Yes!
07:00Oh, it's the best.
07:02It's so good.
07:05Go, chickpea, go.
07:08You're getting so close.
07:11Oh, I'm so excited.
07:14I don't think we're setting up our kid for failure by not being, like, super wealthy or anything.
07:20Like, whatever.
07:21Like, we have so much love.
07:23It's so crazy that we did all of this stuff and the real shit hasn't even happened yet.
07:30I think parenthood is going to be really hard and exciting.
07:34It's okay.
07:36It's okay.
07:37It's okay, buddy.
07:38We're really lucky and we're going to love this kid so much and give them all the best opportunities that
07:43we possibly can.
07:43Oh, my God.
07:44Oh, my God.
07:45You're moving so much.
07:49It's a baby.
07:51It's our baby.
07:52Oh, my God.
07:54Oh, my God.
07:55Why are you so perfect?
07:57Oh, my God.
07:58I'm going to hold you all day, every day.
08:10Yeah.
08:11Yeah.
08:11You want to say something to me?
08:13Yeah.
08:17It's our baby.
08:19Oh, my God.
08:20Oh, my God.
08:22Why are you so perfect?
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