00:00I didn't consciously leave it out of the book, but I wanted to protect it for me.
00:03And to tell the story how I wanted to tell the story now, which is on Refinery29.
00:08I was in the middle of doing press for two shows.
00:10Another show that I was working on asked me if I would go to do this collaboration with Netflix Korea.
00:15And the last time I had been to Korea was when I was four months old.
00:18I thought I was supposed to feel like this wave of emotion of, oh my god, I'm home.
00:23I thought I was supposed to look out into the world of Korean people and feel like I belong.
00:28But it didn't happen.
00:29I felt more like a tourist and a visitor, which I certainly was and am.
00:33But I felt guilty for not feeling those feelings.
00:35And so it took me like a couple days to understand that I can't force myself to feel anything.
00:40And by me not feeling anything doesn't mean that I have any less respect for where I come from.
00:45I need time to discover it.
00:47We found our way to this like stamp, hand carving stamp maker.
00:50And there's this tiny little shop.
00:52And so I got in there and I was like, well, what do I want?
00:55It's like, you know what, I'm going to get my Korean name.
00:56But when we were in there, the guy asked me what it was.
01:00I kind of gave him the sped up version.
01:01I was adopted, four months old.
01:02I got like somewhat emotional and I was like feeling self-conscious to tell the story because
01:06I didn't want to feel like I was being judged.
01:08He said, you belong here.
01:11He was carving my name and he said that.
01:14And it was just, that for me was the moment of the trip.
01:18I didn't consciously leave it out of the book, but I wanted to protect it for me.
01:22Yeah.
01:22And to tell the story on how I wanted to tell the story now, which is on Refinery29 for
01:26the very first time.
01:27Thank you for sharing that story.
01:29No, I'm just getting over food.
01:30Feeling like enough can feel so core because it's who you are, that validation.
01:34I can only imagine like what that is.
01:36From this older Korean man.
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