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In the world of eSports, women gamers are still very much in the minority. We follows various women in eSports in their competitive gaming journey from the amateur to the professional level. Watch this episode to hear their stories.

This video was originally published on Vice and is being repurposed by Refinery29.

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Transcript
00:12I've heard go make them sandwiches I've heard to go back to the kitchen I've heard that I am
00:17not good because I'm a girl welcome ladies and gentlemen to day number one of the fortnight
00:23dreamhack tournament people want to watch people who are good so if you play a lot and you're
00:29practicing people want to see that because there's no existing support there a lot of female gamers
00:37don't want to go pro nobody wants to be the nail that gets hammered back down I've seen a lot
00:47of
00:47girls at the top of male competitive environment quit looking good you got it good luck
01:01esports it's a quickly emerging form of professional video game playing where individual players or
01:07teams compete to win cash prizes sometimes in the millions of dollars in 2020 the esports industry
01:16is predicted to surpass one billion dollars in revenue popular games like overwatch and
01:22fortnight are attracting a very wide audience still despite this the competitive gaming world
01:29is known to be incredibly male-dominated so just out of curiosity you guys treat every
01:35girl that comes into your comp games there's no comment that can turn me away from this game
01:44i still want to play chastity also known by her gaming handle cupcake is one of five members of
01:51team paradox an all-female gaming team trying to go pro each member of team paradox ranks in the top
01:58one percent of players for the game overwatch this game when it came out like three years ago i fell
02:12in
02:12love with it immediately and it quickly became like a big part of my life currently we are one of
02:19the
02:20only female teams a lot of our team would love to see one of us go pro we are practicing
02:27so so hard so
02:29maybe like the whole team maybe gets looked at and picked up by an org or maybe one of our
02:36players is
02:36scouted and brought up that would be amazing we want to push not only our team forward but our players
02:42forward i do really enjoy playing with women because i believe that the layer of gender really
02:49doesn't matter it's just out the window my name is stephanie harvey also known in the gaming industry as
02:55miss harvey i'm a professional counter-strike players and i won in 2007 2010 11 12 and 15.
03:04what i've learned throughout my career if you want to become pro you need to work extremely hard
03:11and kind of fight for this by yourself a lot of the people in the community thinks that you're stealing
03:18a
03:18spot or that that money should go somewhere else or that you're not good enough to be sponsored
03:23there's so much attention when you reach the top of a top game and so much pressure that a lot
03:30of
03:30the times these girls don't really want to continue and pursue or feel like it's worth it
03:42how i'm feeling uh hungry i think that's my one number one thing on my mind right now
03:48is getting food but in terms of uh playing i'm feeling pretty calm i'm not feeling anxious yet at
03:56least maybe when i get there i'll feel a little more uh nervous today is a dream hack anaheim so
04:02that they're doing a solos tournament so everybody's just playing against each other there's 1200 people
04:08competing and only 100 people in the grand finals i'm a madison man nicknames maddie and i play for
04:16gen g sports i got signed in 2018 probably roughly practiced lately about six to eight hours a day
04:24and that's pretty much every single day i have a lot of pressure because the last solo tournament i
04:30i didn't do as well in australia and i i went on twitter and i was just getting flamed for
04:37no reason
04:38and i feel like the extra pressure of just being who i am can take a huge toll on even
04:44my performance
04:44because i don't want to let anyone else down let alone myself down i don't want to make any mistakes
04:50because the whole world's watching it's kind of stressful
04:53you want uh left wander yeah all three eat them
05:06okay i think i knew the harassment i would face because i've always experienced it being just a
05:11girl online like i've heard everything since i was nine years old it's definitely gotten more
05:15personal because it's like my everyday like job and i have to hear harassment from other pros and
05:21it's pretty annoying but at the same time i'm like someone has to take the bullet in order for things
05:26to
05:26change welcome ladies and gentlemen to dreamhack anaheim we're at the anaheim convention center
05:33i'm volunteer w joined by shia wager and today is the fortnite dreamhack tournament this is a 250 000
05:40prize pool grand prize of 30 000 so it's simple you last longer you get points you eliminate people
05:47to make you last longer you get points it's all about survival all about winning that game
05:53those mats you found like mid-rotation were huge because you had no mats you're playing well keep
05:58it up keep it up they've been practicing for months so once we're here my strategy is more to just
06:04make
06:04sure they're comfortable go get them you know an energy drink some water just really do everything
06:11outside of the game so they can focus on just the game in esports right now there aren't any female
06:17players at the top level of play it really hasn't been explored i think my name is barry lee and
06:23i'm an
06:24esports agent with evolve talent agency i represent a variety of pro players in different esports if you
06:31look at the marketing for video games in the late 90s and even in the early 2000s a lot of
06:38it has been
06:38directed to boys that had a large swing towards like skewing the gaming population way more male
06:44dominated what we're seeing now is clawing back against it so until teams are saying that we want
06:52the best female gamers then you know develop them find coaches you know coach up these female talent scout
06:58them out and then really just make it worth their while to be the nail that sticks out you're playing
07:06well keep it up keep it up genji has been making strong efforts towards building a program of female
07:12gamers it remains to be seen whether genji has a top all-female fortnite team you know i wish them
07:19the best
07:20we got to just fix it you can shoot bro my map i was like i can get my sword
07:30sword i tag it up
07:31in fortnite you can play well but still do poorly so it can be really frustrating like mentally
07:38when you're playing really well but things just aren't going your way
07:43it's all gucci still got tomorrow too nothing to stress over
07:49it is indeed annoying but it's fortnite fortnite is annoying
07:54that's a good game i had a sniper rpg i didn't even know where it came from
07:58if i didn't get hit by that i would have been oh you saw three matches remaining
08:01yeah oh you're good yeah you're good
08:14i'm pretty devastated there was a power outage and i was eight points away from qualifying
08:20top 200 but they didn't give us an extra 30 minutes so i could play my last game so
08:26all i'm i guess i'm just ready for tomorrow because i know what to expect and i know i'll qualify
08:31if
08:31nothing else goes wrong there's kind of this misogist loop when you are a woman in gaming trying to get
08:38better you're trying to be a better competitor so you have to play more you play more so more chances
08:44that you get harassed or insulted while you're gaming where you're kind of depressed but you want
08:49to be better so you play more it makes you more depressed so it can be a little bit challenging
08:54it
08:55really affects you in the early years it is actually insane that every single person on this
09:01team is actually no i'm not going to because i put up with it for too many games we really
09:07don't care we
09:08really don't i went to university full-time last fall i got the esports scholarship which was
09:16quite a bit i played for their um overwatch team um i captained their team and i was going to
09:25school
09:26full-time and i was also working a part-time job so i was doing that all at one time
09:29and things
09:32started to go really really sour with my mental health at the end of february
09:38this year i um i ended up in the hospital for an attempted suicide yeah my one escape which is
09:49overwatch and gaming isn't exactly the most fun and safe environment obviously the community is toxic
09:59to everyone but a lot of the things that uh that were directed to me were um sexist and not
10:09great
10:11and i've had people since then they have brought up my suicide attempt in game and told me i i
10:19should
10:19have done it better basically so i did take a break from competing but i love overwatch so i did
10:28eventually
10:28come back no matter what happens in my life like mental illness this game is going to be there for
10:36me
10:42welcome back to the anaheim convention center it's now day two for the dream hack tournament
10:47there's some people who missed yesterday we're coming back again for more i mean yeah it's a second
10:52chance but it's a last chance at getting a shot at that title so much is on the line and
10:57the
10:58reputation from winning one of these tournaments is huge all righty this is the one this is the one
11:08there's a lot more high expectations as being a female on the professional field it definitely
11:14takes a toll because i don't want to disappoint not only my coach my myself and then the people that
11:20support me and then i don't want to hear the negativity that comes with it 40 seconds you ready
11:27good luck let's go maddie let's go let's go
11:36you're good
11:41today she's struggling more so than any other day
11:45it's 10 games so you gotta have the right mental fortitude for all 10.
11:50i hit somebody with my trap oh yes maddie might actually clutch up she's got four kills 14 alive
11:59this is her last game way to finish strong maddie you're gonna be really really close
12:06really really close so you're in what 164 right now so you got 36 slots go like
12:15below you so yeah it's just gonna come down to the wire i mean i know you don't want to
12:24hear it but you
12:24you you would have qualified yesterday i mean you would have it it's not fair
12:43maddie yeah no maddie got bumped out
12:49you're doing good maddie don't be so hard on yourself
12:53i would say i'm here to kick the gates open but i'm also here just because
12:56i want to win even though i'm not the best right now i i want to get there
13:01it probably will be difficult and right now the only tool that you have to help yourself
13:06is really building that shell and creating a support system around you to help you face adversity
13:36is
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