00:00I'm Asia, and here are the five things you need to know about the single life.
00:04I just looked at the paper, my dad, bro.
00:07So close, so goddamn close.
00:09I'm gonna skip some parts, but I promise I'm gonna get through.
00:13I lied.
00:14Before we begin, I must let you know that yes, I am single.
00:17I'm not someone in a relationship trying to talk about the single life.
00:21I'm about that life.
00:22The first thing you need to know about being single is that it's not a bad thing.
00:27A lot of people think that being single is by default.
00:33Beware.
00:34Being single is a choice.
00:36Now, whether or not you made that choice, like you got dumped or something, staying single
00:40sure is a choice.
00:41You know, the number one thing I hate is when I tell a guy I'm single, and he asks,
00:45but why?
00:45You're so pretty.
00:47Um, since when does being single mean I'm ugly?
00:51Oh, I remember why I'm single now.
00:53To dodge idiots like you who think that that's a compliment.
00:57If that's your way of flattering me, you can save it, son.
01:00The second thing you need to know about being single is that somehow you'll always be reminded
01:04that you are.
01:05See, I've been single most of my life and not preoccupied with being in a relationship,
01:10but I'm also very observant.
01:12See, right now, I'm the only single person out of all of my coworkers.
01:16In high school through college, me and all of my friends were single.
01:20It's either that you're surrounded with 90% of people who are single, as you are, or
01:2490% of people who are taken.
01:27Never does it fall in the middle of the spectrum.
01:30Number three, you need to pick your battles.
01:33Ooh, that's a toughie.
01:35This one can fall under a wide range of different things.
01:38For example, have you ever been a wingman?
01:40Or even worse, have you ever been a third wheel?
01:43The wingman is when your friend has hooked up and the only way for their hookup to be
01:47successful is for you to hook up to.
01:49The more common third wheel is when you're invited out with a couple and you didn't know
01:53that both of them wouldn't be there, so you're often stuck behind while they're walking ahead
01:57of you holding hands.
01:59Or you're in the movie theater, busy shoving popcorn in your mouth while they're busy shoving
02:03each other's tongues in theirs.
02:06Ew!
02:07If you find yourself in any of these battles, your best bet is to take the L and move on.
02:13The fourth thing you need to know about being single is knowing the difference between the
02:17talking phase and actually being in a relationship.
02:20My veteran single people know this all too well.
02:22It's when you're engaged in all the things that scream coupledom, but you're not confined
02:26to the bounds of a relationship.
02:28Some would call this friends with benefits.
02:31See, when you're dating someone and you're single, you gotta make sure you both know
02:35your intentions.
02:36Next thing you know, jealousy can get in the way, and the person you're dating will end
02:41up in a relationship with another human being.
02:43Yes, this has happened to me once or twice.
02:47Okay, maybe three times.
02:48Do not be blindsided by your feelings and stay in touch with reality.
02:53You're as single as they come, my darling.
02:55The last thing that you need to know about being single is that there are so many options out
02:59there.
02:59I mean, think about it.
03:02Dating apps were made for people who are single, not someone who wants to be in a relationship.
03:07I mean, you can use Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid, or you can find yourself before you give yourself
03:14to someone again.
03:16Or Netflix and chill with some pizza.
03:19Enjoy hiking by yourself.
03:20Enjoy a movie by yourself.
03:22Single people, the world is your oyster.
03:25That's it for the five things you need to know about being single.
03:28I'm gonna download Tinder for like the third time and probably delete it tomorrow.
03:35Deuces.
03:37That's it for the five things you need to know about being single.
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03:45After the five things you need to know about being single, if you need to know about
03:49the two things you need to know about being single.
03:49I don't know about being single.
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