00:00DEEP-BEEP-BEEP BEEP-BEEP BEEP BEEP-BEEP
00:05CHOOPO!
00:062013 and I'm still dead.
00:08I know, I can't believe it either.
00:10And first up, our old friends at sex are helping make our arse play louder
00:15with iphones speaker.
00:17Ah.
00:18Amplify sound from the iphones built-in cock.
00:22This is the fourteenth take of this introduction, I can't stop laughing at it.
00:26It's supposed to amplify the sound from your super-duper high-tech bag of crap.
00:30Easy to sit on in seconds.
00:32You can also use it as a funnel!
00:34Funnel!
00:35I so want to fuck around a pub with this stuck in my arse.
00:39Just going up to people and saying,
00:40WHAT'S THAT SONNUS?
00:41So here's a phone playing some music.
00:44Ready?
00:45Steady?
00:45Music!
00:49Here it is!
00:51Magically amplified!
00:56Well, the good news is it is tinny and shite.
00:59The bad news is it makes it all sound genuinely louder.
01:02Look, it's Gandalf's ass.
01:04Are you ready?
01:04Nothing can prepare you.
01:06Rear seat car.
01:07100% cock.
01:08Oh, I don't want to touch these anymore.
01:10Or anymore.
01:11Well, that was nice, wasn't it?
01:12Fun-ta-
01:13Six metal dicks.
01:14Can you untangle them?
01:16So the idea is you've got to be able to untangle these dicks.
01:20Well, let's have a think about it.
01:23That was pretty easy.
01:24Next up, a DVD copy of Milton Berle's Low Impact High Co-
01:29And next up, a test tube.
01:32Life's too fucking short.
01:33Right, that's enough of that.
01:35It's me arse.
01:36With Finn the dog.
01:38And Jake the human.
01:40Who can change size and shape because life's too fucking short.
01:44Let's see what's on offer.
01:46There is Jake with no mouth.
01:49Ah, I think this is what they call a goddamn insult.
01:51The Finn figure.
01:52Yep, that is the only one.
01:54Appears to just be a repaint of Finn.
01:57Well, that's let me down already.
01:58Then we've got the Ice King playing her axe guitar.
02:00She's like a vampire and her dad's evil.
02:02There's Marceline.
02:03He's a bit messed up in the head.
02:05I wonder which one we've got.
02:07Well, that's not particularly shit.
02:10Bloody hell, DVDs are shit these days, aren't they?
02:12Let's start with everybody's favourite Star Wars film.
02:16Star Wars Episope 2.
02:19Attack of the Stevens.
02:23It's the best of the prequels, I think.
02:25Absolutely.
02:26Special features.
02:28Audioia.
02:29Brian Helgeland and Paul Bethany
02:33happened to be in the studio
02:34and we brought them in to fuck for summaries.
02:37There is a ripped off version of Ashens and the Quest for the Game Child.
02:41It came in one of these bags.
02:44And had shit with it, but the person wouldn't send the shit in case they got done by customs.
02:48Die another day, aye.
02:49This apparently stars James Bond, Ibarra, David Morgan, Mr. Aquino, and Steven's arse.
02:55Oh my giddy arse.
02:59When he hears the fire bell chime,
03:03Fireman sounds not very fucking interesting.
03:07That was a bag of crap.
Comments