00:00Hey friends, picture a family sitting at the dinner table.
00:05A father is trying to talk to his teenage son, but the son keeps looking down at his phone.
00:12After a few minutes, the father becomes frustrated and says,
00:17Put that thing away. You need to learn to look at people when they are talking to you.
00:23The son puts his phone down.
00:26Then, less than a minute later, the father's own phone lights up beside his plate.
00:33He picks it up, reads the message, and begins typing a response while his wife is speaking to him.
00:41The problem was real.
00:43His son did need to learn how to give someone his attention,
00:47but the father was demanding something from his son that he was not practicing himself.
00:55That is the lesson behind one of the most misunderstood teachings of Jesus Christ.
01:02Jesus said,
01:05Judge not that you be not judged.
01:09Now, we've heard that quite often, haven't we?
01:12You know, people often use those words to mean that, as Christians, we should never question anyone's behavior.
01:20The moment someone identifies dishonesty, irresponsibility, cruelty, or a dangerous decision,
01:28another person says,
01:30You are not supposed to judge.
01:32But, you see, Jesus was not telling us to stop recognizing right from wrong.
01:39He was telling us to examine ourselves before correcting someone else.
01:44Jesus described a person who could see a small speck in another person's eye while ignoring a large plank in
01:53his own.
01:54Then he said to remove the plank from your own eye first,
01:59so you can see clearly enough to help remove the speck from the other person's eye.
02:06Notice that Jesus did not say the speck should be ignored.
02:11He said the person trying to help could not see clearly yet.
02:17That is the specific lesson.
02:20Before you correct someone else, make sure you are willing to live by that same standard.
02:28The father at the dinner table was not wrong to teach his son respect.
02:33The problem was that he had not looked honestly at his own behavior.
02:39His correction might have been necessary,
02:42but his example made the correction harder to receive.
02:47And that happens in many areas of life.
02:51We see this around us, don't we?
02:53We criticize someone for being impatient while speaking to them impatiently.
02:59Or, we accuse another person of not listening while refusing to hear their side.
03:06We complain that people are judgmental while making harsh assumptions about them.
03:11We point out someone else's pride while secretly enjoying the feeling of being morally superior.
03:21Now, the speck may be real.
03:24The plank makes us unable to address it well.
03:28Jesus was warning us about hypocritical judgment.
03:32Hypocritical judgment says,
03:41You know, we judge another person by what they did,
03:47but judge ourselves by what we intended.
03:51We say, they lied.
03:53When we hide a part of the truth, we say,
03:57The situation was complicated.
03:59We say, they lost their temper.
04:02When we lose ours, we say,
04:05I was pushed too far.
04:07We say,
04:09They only think about themselves.
04:11When we act selfishly, we say,
04:14I finally had to take care of me.
04:17I needed a me day.
04:19You see, Jesus asked us to apply that same honesty in both directions.
04:26That does not mean every failure is identical.
04:30It does not mean we have to become perfect before we can ever help anyone.
04:36If that were the requirement,
04:38no parent could guide a child,
04:41no friend could offer advice,
04:43and no leader could correct a problem.
04:47You know, Jesus said to remove the plank first.
04:51He did not say to wait until you have never made a mistake.
04:56Removing the plank means becoming honest about yourself.
05:00It means admitting,
05:02I may be right about this issue,
05:05but I also need correction.
05:08It means asking,
05:10Am I trying to help this person?
05:12Or am I trying to prove that I am better than them?
05:17And that question can change the entire conversation, can't it?
05:22Imagine the father at the dinner table catches himself.
05:26Instead of defending his behavior,
05:29he puts his phone away and says,
05:32You know what?
05:33I just did the same thing I corrected you for.
05:37I was right that we should pay attention to one another,
05:42but I need to follow that rule too.
05:45I love that.
05:47It's good parenting.
05:48And his authority would not have disappeared.
05:52It has become more trustworthy.
05:54You know, the son may still need limits on his phone.
05:58The family may still need rules at the dinner table.
06:01But now,
06:03the father is not standing above his son
06:06as though the problem only belongs to the teenager.
06:10He is standing beside him and saying,
06:13This is something we both need to do better.
06:17And that's what humility does.
06:20You know,
06:21humility does not weaken the truth.
06:23It removes the unnecessary pride
06:27from the way truth is delivered.
06:28There are times when we must recognize wrongdoing.
06:34Parents must decide what is safe for their children.
06:38Employers must address dishonest or careless behavior.
06:43Friends may need to warn someone about a destructive pattern.
06:48Leaders have to make decisions about conduct,
06:51trust, and responsibility.
06:55Jesus was not asking us to become blind.
06:59He was asking us to see clearly.
07:03You see, clear vision begins with self-examination.
07:07Before you speak,
07:09look at your own life.
07:12Are you demanding honesty while hiding something?
07:16Are you asking for respect while speaking disrespectfully?
07:21Are you correcting someone's attitude
07:24while bringing an angry attitude into the conversation?
07:27You know,
07:29sometimes after examining yourself,
07:32you will realize that the conversation still needs to happen.
07:36The behavior is still harmful.
07:39The boundary is still necessary.
07:42The truth still needs to be said.
07:45But now you will say it differently.
07:49You'll be less interested in embarrassing the person
07:53and more interested in helping them.
07:56You'll be less likely to attack their identity.
08:00You will remember that you also need patience and grace.
08:04You may say,
08:07what happened was wrong and we need to address it
08:10without saying,
08:12you are a terrible person.
08:15You may say,
08:17the behavior cannot continue
08:19without pretending that you have never needed correction yourself.
08:23Well, I know I have.
08:25And that's the difference between discernment and condemnation.
08:31You see, discernment recognizes a problem
08:34and asks how it can be addressed truthfully.
08:38Condemnation uses the problem as a reason
08:42to stand above another person.
08:44Jesus warned against condemnation
08:48because it blinds us, my friends.
08:51When we feel superior,
08:54we stop listening.
08:55We assume we understand every motive.
08:58We reduce someone's entire life
09:01to one failure.
09:04Then correction becomes punishment.
09:07You see, this teasing also matters
09:10when we judge people from a distance.
09:11When we see one moment online,
09:16hear one part of a disagreement,
09:18or read one sentence without knowing the whole story,
09:23within seconds,
09:25we decide what kind of person someone is.
09:29Sometimes the honest response is not a strong opinion.
09:34Sometimes it is,
09:36I do not know enough yet.
09:38When the facts are clear,
09:40we may still need to say something was wrong,
09:44but we should never pretend we can see everything.
09:49You see, the only one that could see everything
09:51that's inside another person
09:54is God himself.
09:56We can evaluate behavior.
09:59God alone fully knows the heart.
10:02So, the next time you notice a speck
10:05in someone else's eye,
10:07pause before reaching for it.
10:09Look at yourself first.
10:12Make sure you're not correcting disrespect with disrespect,
10:17pride with pride,
10:19anger with anger,
10:20or judgment with more judgment.
10:23Then,
10:25when the issue still needs to be addressed,
10:28speak with honesty,
10:30humility,
10:30and the same mercy you hope to receive
10:33when your own failures are visible.
10:36Jesus did not tell us to ignore the speck.
10:40He taught us to remove the plank
10:43so we could finally see the other person clearly.
10:48My name is Douglas Vandergraaf,
10:51and I believe in Jesus Christ.
10:54God bless every single one of you.
10:58Every single one.
11:02Bye-bye.
11:03Bye-bye.
11:03You
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