00:00All right, let's get started.
00:02Officer Dutch, are you ready to begin?
00:04Actually, no. My counsel saw fit to abandon me,
00:07so I'd like a stay of execution, please.
00:09No need.
00:11If it pleases the court, my name is Frank Shaw.
00:14I'm a millennial, and I'm here to represent Officer Dutch.
00:18This case is based on a set of facts that are indisputable.
00:22Fact number one.
00:23One week ago, Marlena Enriquez reported her pet Yorkie
00:27missing on a neighborhood app typically used to sell deteriorating wicker furniture.
00:31Oh, yeah, you can actually get some great deals on there.
00:33Fact number two. Four days later, Officer Dutch received a call
00:36alerting him to a loose Yorkie in the Madison Valley neighborhood.
00:41Dispatch to truck four. We have a loose dog in the Madison Valley neighborhood.
00:44On my way. Favorite strip club is over there.
00:47Fact number three. A very reliable eyewitness confirmed.
00:50The dog was seen gnawing on a chew toy of this exact design.
00:55Doggie ate dragon.
00:58Now, while this specific unit was sourced at the precinct,
01:01this bell found at the scene is an exact match down to serial number and pitch.
01:11I know what you're thinking.
01:12What a breakthrough. Incredible detective work. Amazing hairline.
01:16But the question remains.
01:18Was Templeton being reasonable in assuming a man could effectively conceal a dog in his pants?
01:25And to that question, I give you fact number four.
01:29Shred!
01:40The defense rests.
01:44Give us a moment to confer.
01:48All right. Devils and Dutch, you are cleared of all wrongdoing.
01:57The deal's the deal, Frank.
01:58I'm going to whip those votes for you.
02:00I'm going to whip them until they're begging for more.
02:03Why is everything always so sexual with you?
02:05I'm going to whip you up.
02:05What did we do?
02:05Let's go.
02:05Let's go.
02:06Okay, good luck.
02:06Let's go.
02:06Bye.
02:07You
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