- 2 hours ago
A space to discuss what it actually takes to advocate for your own care in a system built to dismiss you. Dr. Munirah Bomani walks attendees through her self-advocacy framework, then the room workshops it together — bring a real situation you're navigating.
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00:00all right y'all so we're gonna get into it welcome to the um hi how are ya okay have
00:08a
00:08seat have a seat right here we're just getting we're starting a conversation so I'll get to you
00:12we'll get to it a little bit okay all right so everyone welcome hopefully more people will
00:19filter in as we go but welcome to the unbothered talking circle and here we have conversations
00:27come on in want to have a seat so the talking circle really is about community it is about
00:37connection and unbothered is a platform for black women to be seen to be celebrated to be heard my
00:43name is Erica Chitty I am the SVP of ran an editorial content from bothered and I got brought in
00:50to help
00:50evolve the brand from entertainment and culture towards well-being and culture and this circle
00:56is a part of that and so I am really excited to have this conversation a couple quick things
01:02about the circle so there's no speakers this isn't a panel it's truly a collective conversation I'm
01:08going to be your keeper making sure the conversation is flowing if you have a question I will bring you
01:13a mic when it's time for questions and to my right this beautiful lady is going to be our anchor
01:18taking
01:19us through uh some really beautiful reflection practices and um I'm excited for us to just drop in
01:27together so before we begin I'm going to open up the circle with the clearing we always do it if
01:31you are
01:32just here you're going to do one more to get us going and the clearing is about leaving whatever was
01:36happening outside and letting whatever is happening in here be the focus okay so we're going to rub our hands
01:41together and I'm going to count to three and on three I'm going to clap I'm going to hand it
01:46over
01:46to our anchor okay one two three all right can you guys hear me okay all right well I am
01:56Dr. Munira
01:57Bomani also known as Dr. Muni and I am so excited to be here in this format because what is
02:04the other
02:04time that you see a doctor in a swivelly chair when you're in the office you're stressed out you're
02:11you're rushing you're sweating you're nervous and you're wondering if everything that you're
02:15concerned about is even going to be heard with a show of hands who here themselves or somebody in
02:23their family has had a bad experience with the health care system raise your hand if you've had a bad
02:28experience almost everyone so if I say go to the doctor what's the first word that comes to your mind
02:39you said no okay you what's the first thing that comes to your mind when you think doctors visit
02:46exactly so unfortunately due to no fault of the patients we have now a system of extreme mistrust
02:55and it's justified and I think that that is what I really really want to start with and to center
03:02upon with this talk we feel our nervous systems activating the fight or flight response in the
03:09health care system for a reason it's not in our minds we're not making up these headlines these are
03:15things that are happening in real time I've exited the health care system in a traditional sense
03:21because I was part I always said you know I want to grow up I'll be the first doctor in
03:25my community
03:26I'll go to an HBCU I'm gonna make a change from the inside out and I saw as soon as
03:32I started my
03:32first rotation and my mom can tell you I said this system is rotten I cannot be a part of
03:38this and she
03:39said just just see it through just see it through and I kept trying to pivot and change and bring
03:44things
03:44up and do research and show that language matters that black voices matter that things are happening in the
03:50clinics that is I can't sleep at night I became a faculty member at a top university because I was
03:57like I am going to train the doctors that make the difference and what I found over the last decade
04:03or
04:03so is that I'm even though I'm a squeaky wheel I'm such a small piece of this bigger problem so
04:12now I'm trying
04:13to find spaces like this where I can actually empower the patients to advocate for themselves because we
04:20don't know if the system is going to change in our favor the system changes every day and it's worse
04:25and worse and worse who here had a doctor that you really liked and then you tried to make another
04:29appointment and they're gone gone no notice who here has no idea where to even start to find a doctor
04:38at least you guys know where to start so I'm here to really from the other side of the of
04:45the lens
04:46to tell you that you're justified and feeling how you feel people are going to try to dissuade you
04:52from having your guard up and from being nervous to go to the doctor you're right to be nervous
04:57the system is changing and unfortunately we do now have a two-tier health care system for the haves and
05:04the have-nots but if you're somebody who comes from limited means does that mean that you don't deserve
05:09good care absolutely not just because your family does not have a doctor in it that can come and say
05:15I need you to order this this this this does that mean that you shouldn't be able to fight for
05:20what you
05:21deserve no so what I'm here to do is to give you a few pearls about how to advocate for
05:28yourself within
05:29the health care sphere and we start with advocacy is about education if you don't know that the odds are
05:36stacked against you you can't even start playing the game okay unfortunately everyone who's in this
05:42room whether you be a woman a person of color the odds are stacked against us the stats don't lie
05:48we
05:49are getting our conditions picked up last we are getting worse treatment we're getting more aggressive
05:55treatment there's lots of data that shows that for black women they say just do a hysterectomy it's fine
06:02just just take it out just chop it off because there's this stigma that we don't have the intellect
06:09to change that we don't have the intellect to know how to pivot how to heal ourselves how to heal
06:15our
06:15communities so what you need to do is educate yourself who here can tell me what the most important
06:24numbers to know are about your health just give me a guess what numbers should you know about your body
06:34exact blood pressure number one perfect two more what's the next important thing bmi also a tool of
06:45supremacy but bmi is not a perfect tool because when bmi was created it wasn't for us it was for
06:53a middle-aged white man so it doesn't always give the full picture weight is definitely very important to
07:00know but more importantly we need to know your blood sugars are you pre-diabetic are you at risk for
07:07diabetes blood pressure and elevated blood sugars or diabetes kill our community members faster than
07:14anyone else no one knows why because there's no research dollars to figure out why but our pipeline
07:20from blood pressure elevation and blood sugar elevation to dialysis amputation it is so much more
07:28more rapid and advanced than anyone else so if you know your blood pressure if you know your blood
07:33sugars and you know your cholesterol levels you can then begin to advocate for yourself and make
07:40changes so that you can avoid going to the doctor you can avoid those emergencies and you can avoid an
07:46unfortunate situation so i wanted to say one more thing before i open the floor because this i'm i'm here
07:53to serve you guys you guys can
07:54ask me anything you've ever wanted to ask a doctor whether it's something that made you mad whether
07:59it's something that you don't understand that you're confused about i'm a family medicine doctor so that
08:03means i'm a jack of all trades master of some so i can answer pretty much anything that you'd like
08:08to know
08:09so two of our young ladies here said when i say go to the doctor they say no did you
08:15know that you
08:16can get your blood work done without ever seeing a doctor this is what i mean by a two-care
08:22health care
08:22two-tier health care system things don't work the way that they used to this is about money and
08:27unfortunately health care now is a business if you know that it's a business then you can know
08:32how to pivot to be the best consumer for example if something is on sale at one store do you
08:37go out
08:37of your way to go to a different one no you want to go where you're getting the best price
08:41and the
08:41same thing happens with lab work there's two sites that i don't work for there's two sites called
08:47lab core and quest diagnostics you yourself the same way you go on your app to order a pizza
08:53can order lab work for yourself so if you're saying i don't want to go to the doctor but how
08:58do i learn my numbers you then can advocate for yourself on your own and get those labs done if
09:04you
09:04go to a doctor and they say you're too young i don't want to check your cholesterol you say okay
09:09cool i will go on my app i will order the test myself and then i will ask chat gbt
09:15to interpret
09:16them and for many patients that's enough so that takes a barrier away from you getting the answers
09:22that you need you can go yourself and get those tests done the same thing applies for pap smears for
09:29colonoscopies for mammograms you don't need me anymore you can go online to colonoscopyassist.com
09:36and find a doctor that will do it for you so yes what just one second let me close it
09:41up um so all
09:42of this to be said that the world of health care is different you guys can all feel that the
09:48tide is
09:48shifting but you might not have somebody sitting down with you telling you exactly what's going on
09:53so this is me telling you you're right to feel nervous because it's a changing world you're right to
09:59feel a little bit uneasy because no one is explaining to you what's going on but also i want you
10:05to know
10:05that you are in a position of power if you do not seek your care from a particular person they
10:11don't
10:11get paid you are in control you can research whomever you'd want to see and make your appointment with
10:17them if they are not meeting your standards you can easily switch to someone new please don't limit
10:24yourself to an abusive relationship with a doctor who does not listen to you and will put your future
10:30in jeopardy you have the power i was i was gonna ask like what is the cost around like doing
10:38all of
10:38that yourself because i know people depend on like insurance whether they have like medicaid or if it's
10:43like through your employer and like it sounds amazing like that you don't have to go to the doctor but
10:48like i know cost is always like a factor absolutely because this is a business right this is america it's
10:54money talks right so i'll let you guys in on a little secret from the doctor's side i hate insurance
11:00too i don't want to work with insurance at all for example you go to a doctor's visit i took
11:05my son to
11:05the doctor regular pediatrician visit looked in his ears did a physical exam the bill from that visit
11:12was fifteen hundred dollars how much did the doctor actually get thirty dollars thirty dollars
11:21so for myself as a private practice position who has a direct primary care practice i would much
11:29rather make a deal with you directly than work with insurance at all because you're paying every
11:34month to an insurance company that denies all your claims anyway and they also are going to deny payout
11:40for me which is going to cause my business to go out of practice it's the insurance companies who's
11:46telling us we have to see somebody every 15 minutes or we won't make enough money it's insurance
11:51who's saying i can't just have 500 patients or 200 patients or 100 patients and spend an hour with
11:57all of them so if you find what's called a dpc or a direct primary care practice you can actually
12:03have
12:04a membership like netflix most direct primary care practices are about 20 or 30 dollars a month
12:10and you get unlimited access to your doctor you can call us you can text us and for the lab
12:16work
12:17you would be surprised the same labs that the hospital is billing for example basic labs um
12:23cholesterol blood sugar etc at most hospitals and clinics is about 500 dollars if you order these
12:30tests on your own with no insurance and no doctor it only costs 80 dollars so up hospitals are up
12:38charging
12:39everyone everybody loses except for the shareholders so that's why i always tell patients the system does
12:46not work like it used to your high deductible claim will have you paying more money out of pocket to
12:52see that doctor versus if you were to just budget and pay for it yourself most doctors also who are
12:59having dpcs will have payment plans so if your doctor's visit is a 99 flat rate if you don't have
13:06a
13:06membership you can then pay that off in two or three or four months or if you tell them that
13:11you're
13:11having financial challenges there's more flexibility for us to work it out so that's why i really
13:16encourage you to really see that the system is not working for us the system is not designed for us
13:22because most unless there's is there a billionaire in here because i oh you okay let's talk unless
13:29you're a billionaire honey the system is not built for you so we have to get crafty and we have
13:35to get
13:35creative the same way that you research everything else you research your beautician who's going to do your
13:40nails who's going to do your hair and what the price is you should be doing the same thing with
13:44your
13:44healthcare thank you sorry i know that's a lot of new information for y'all hello there hi um
13:57this is my question every year we're encouraged as women to go and get your pap smear done yes so
14:03i'll do
14:03that yes why has it in healthcare that um and that's the check for cervical cancer yes but so
14:13many cases of ovarian cancer get undiagnosed and i know just from personal experience that's diagnosed
14:19through a vaginal ultrasound why can and i know you might want to answer it but it's a frustration of
14:27mine and i wish i was a person who can be an an advocate that a vaginal i advocate for
14:32myself yes
14:33because i have an appointment coming up and i said okay i have my appointment for this but i would
14:38like
14:39to do a vaginal ultrasound the day before and i got it scheduled but so many people think when they
14:44go
14:45to get their pap smear done they get checked for everything exactly and they're not and that just
14:52it just saddens me it really does so i guess it's more of a complaint and yes let it out
14:57so i just
14:58try to share with women like you know you can ask to have a vaginal ultrasound so that you can
15:03see if
15:04you have any kind of cysts on your ovaries that they can then do a pathology report on to make
15:09sure
15:09it's not anything because so many people don't know that yeah but it's a simple test so super easy
15:15you shouldn't have to advocate for it yourself that should be part of your annual exam you are
15:21absolutely correct and back in the day doing these tests checking your ovaries was part of your annual
15:27exam if you remember way back when so an interesting thing is happening in health care in terms of cost
15:34savings and acceptable risk so when we think about the guidelines right we all know these buzz numbers
15:40oh mammogram at 40 or 50 colonoscopy at 50 pap smears are now at 26 which is insane they're not
15:48based off of you and your specific case it's based off of insurance and what they'll pay for
15:53so just because and we see this the most common examples with chad book bozeman right may he rest in
15:59peace he was way younger than the guideline for colon cancer screening but he still unfortunately passed away
16:07from colon cancer these guidelines don't mean anything if you feel that something is wrong in
16:13your body and this goes back to that advocacy the guidelines are not meant to protect you the
16:19guidelines are made to prevent unnecessary test orders to save the health care system money that
16:25doesn't protect your health for you it doesn't protect your future it doesn't protect your family
16:29so if you don't have a relationship with a doctor who can hear you and say you know what this
16:35is a very
16:36easy test to do it's very easy to add on it takes 15 minutes you have to find another doctor
16:41also
16:43there's a website called radiology assist.com i do not work for any of these people y'all um
16:49that you can actually look up whatever test that you want to have done and go do it if you
16:56it doesn't
16:56have to be a closed door from me wouldn't be me but from one of my colleagues that stops you
17:03from
17:03getting the care that you deserve and i think that the most important thing that i want to really
17:10anchor for you guys is that the guidelines don't mean anything technically the guideline is that you
17:16shouldn't even be having a pap smear every year now they say every three to five years but in that
17:21three to five years there's a certain amount of women who will develop stage three stage four or stage
17:27five cervical cancer but they say oh it's just a small percentage of women that's an acceptable risk
17:32acceptable to who you're somebody's mother you're somebody's sister you're somebody's daughter and
17:38that's what i mean to say that the system is not designed to heal us it's not designed to protect
17:44us it's designed unfortunately to minimize the financial loss of ordering unnecessary tests so if you
17:53feel that something needs to be ordered do not stop until it's done because i promise you what that
18:01doctor won't do another will and what that radiology center won't do another will you can get x-rays
18:08ultrasounds you can get ct scans all of these things without insurance and without a referral
18:14if you go to a free-standing radiology practice you just have to know you have to know what to
18:21google
18:21all of this information is available on the internet we're so blessed to have access to
18:26all of this information at our fingertips you just have to know what you're looking for
18:31oh hello you want to share my mic
18:37it's okay you can have your mic um so thank you so much for sharing your knowledge yes um i'm
18:43actually
18:43my name is taquita love and i'm actually a registered nurse hey girl i've been a nurse for about 20
18:48years
18:49with background in pediatric oncology so i'm familiar with the cancer world um i lost my grandmother to
18:54breast cancer uh one thing i wanted to say um is just like um advocacy for our uh our parents
19:02and
19:03our grandmothers um because when my grandmother was diagnosed with uh breast cancer um she was diagnosed
19:09in indiana and she was out there by herself i lost it i found out she was going to her
19:16treatments
19:16on the bus they they had did no no connection they didn't hook her up with any case management or
19:23anything like that and so one thing i always like to because of my experience i do work as a
19:29case
19:29manager i worked a lot of places as a nurse um to make sure that you know once if there's
19:35a hard
19:35diagnosis there is there should be some resources and if it's not connected directly it could be indirectly
19:42from programs so once i did speak to someone um about my grandmother i was like where's the case
19:48manager oh she don't have one well she needs one okay where's the social worker and i think a lot
19:54of
19:54times um as um i don't say as black people but like we we get quiet and we want to
20:00keep all of our
20:01problems to ourselves we don't want to bug anybody and i think it's really good if you know somebody
20:07that's a nurse or a doctor call them share what's going on so that we sometimes can creep in and
20:14advocate on behalf of our loved ones um because for me it hurts me when people go through stuff
20:21and we can help i'm like granny you've been going on a bus to get treatment for a year
20:28you know no somebody should come pick you up they got programs for that um and so that's one thing
20:33is
20:33when you say advocate for yourself there's another way ask other people that you know and don't be
20:38ashamed to share what you're going through because someone can help exactly oh my gosh there's so many
20:45layers to what you brought up no it's good it's good i'm passionate about this world um so yes so
20:52first thing i want to say is you have to follow the money right so you're saying there's programs that
20:57exist for all these things they're giving government funding for this your tax dollars are paying for a
21:03lot of the grant funding that they're getting for cancer support for substance abuse support for
21:08all of these things and unfortunately they don't tell us the social they so every major hospital system
21:16has case management has social work and has community resources but it takes an extra five to
21:23ten minutes for the doctor the nurse practitioner whoever to take a step back and connect you all it takes
21:28is
21:28a simple referral and unfortunately because of the cost and the hassle involved these dots are not
21:35being connected so when you talk about how we have terrible rates of survival for breast cancer for all
21:41of the chronic conditions it's because we are not being directed to the resources that we are paying for
21:47yeah and that's what leads to our poor outcomes you may miss you know i hope this isn't her case
21:53but
21:53i'm like she might miss a chemo session because the bus was late she may miss a session because
22:00she overslept and nobody's there to check on her she should have a home health nurse she should have
22:05a case manager she should have a social worker but if she's not there to advocate for herself and you're
22:10not there to advocate for her unfortunately our elders are being pushed by the through the cracks
22:16through the cracks because i've been on the other end where i'm in a busy hospital setting
22:22it's academics i'm working 24 hours at a time and i'm stressed but it only takes five seconds to
22:29click a few buttons and put in a referral yeah also you don't know what you don't know so if
22:34you
22:34don't have a family member who's saying you need to call these people and say if you know whether i
22:40can
22:40get connected with this and that then you're lost so i think that the last point that she made is
22:44very important this is why we gather in community this is why we gather in circles because we have to
22:50tell each other what's going on we do shrink ourselves down when we go into the health care
22:55system but it's crazy because if you think about it you you are being stolen from your tax dollars
23:01are paying for programs that you're not able to access now if somebody pulls up and steals 200
23:05dollars from your check i bet you you'll have something to say so we need to have the same type
23:10of energy when we're interacting with the health care system if you are paying through your job
23:15they are deducting money from every single check for you to have insurance why are you not demanding
23:22that you get the care that you deserve yeah and i know that it is exhausting i know that it
23:27is
23:27anxiety provoking because even for myself as a patient i have gone through horrible outcomes my
23:33children almost died in childbirth at the hospital i deliver babies at from the people i trained so it just
23:42girl there's you brought up such a really sore spot in terms of advocacy because if we unfortunately
23:49if we looked a little different if we presented a little differently and there's studies that show
23:54if you dress up a certain way before your appointment and you put on a nice blouse versus
23:59coming in your bonnet and a t-shirt you get completely different treatment yeah and this is something that
24:04almost made me leave health care all together because i'm like this is insane the things that
24:09i see happen on a daily basis i could cry about it for years to come yeah but what i
24:15want to leave you
24:16guys with is i don't know how we're doing on time we're over we're over sorry what i want you
24:21guys to
24:22leave here with is the courage and the knowledge that you can and should ask for better if you have
24:29a
24:29feeling that your doctor is bsing you call them out if you have a feeling that you're being brushed
24:36by the wayside make them documented in the chart and you can say i feel that you are not listening
24:42to
24:42me because this this this can you just explain to me why this is your chosen path and usually when
24:51you
24:51call people out they'll start to straighten up just a little bit and unfortunately this is a little
24:56unethical but i usually tell my patients going through difficult diagnosis lie say yes my my
25:03brother-in-law he's a physician and he told me to ask this this this if they know that somebody's
25:10protecting you they know that somebody's in your corner that's called professional courtesy that means
25:16they start straightening up they say oh no if i don't treat this person well this might come back to
25:21me everybody else it's fine so lie say my sister is a doctor or my sister is an oncology nurse
25:28and
25:28she told me this this this if they know that somebody is protecting you i promise you the
25:34treatment that you'll get will be 100 different and you probably have seen it too yeah well thank you so
25:41much i wish we had more time i know we'll have to do this again next year yes um well
25:48everyone we're
25:48going to close the circle with a clearing thank you to the circle thank you to our anchor and i
25:54hope
25:54that you take all this information you feel fired up to get the care that you need so much came
25:58out of
25:59this grateful for you yeah okay all right everybody we're going to rub our hands together take a deep
26:05breath just let everything just sit settle in your body before we head out of the circle i'm going to
26:11count
26:11to three and on three we're going to clap one time okay let's go a little faster let's go faster
26:15everybody okay one two three thank you
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