- 1 hour ago
Desperate Housewives S03E01
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:12Previously on Desperate Housewives
00:14I have another child, Lynette.
00:16You're the one that gave me permission, remember?
00:18Not to sleep with the woman who's carrying our child!
00:21For some, love will wither.
00:22Do I know you?
00:23Orson Hodge, Susan's dentist friend.
00:25While others will wait for love,
00:27for others, new love will bloom
00:36that may never arrive.
00:43Something awful happened on Lakeview Drive last year.
00:47To understand why, you need to know
00:50that when Alma Hodge awoke that morning,
00:52she had no idea this would be the day she'd leave her husband.
00:56Certainly, it began normally enough.
00:59She put away the groceries per his instructions.
01:04She hung his dry cleaning exactly as he had requested.
01:09She folded the towels just as he had taught her.
01:15It was just before noon.
01:18Mama loves your baby.
01:20Does the baby love Mama?
01:22Mama!
01:23When something inside Alma broke,
01:26and she decided it was time
01:28to fly away.
01:31Of course, she knew better than to say this to her husband.
01:35He thought Alma was happy,
01:37and Orson Hodge did not like to be contradicted.
01:43So she waited till he left for work.
01:48And then...
02:06Baby, you've got to come down now.
02:08Mama's in a hurry.
02:09Hurry, hurry.
02:13If you don't get back in your cage right now,
02:15I'm going to have to leave you behind.
02:17Please!
02:38The next day, Carolyn Bixby stopped by.
02:41And, like most nosy neighbors,
02:44she knew you learned more
02:45if you didn't knock.
02:47Alma?
02:49Are you home?
02:54Carolyn?
02:56I'm just looking for Alma.
02:58We had a coffee date this morning.
02:59She never showed.
03:01Uh, Alma left yesterday.
03:04Left?
03:05We had a bit of a row.
03:07Oh.
03:08Harvey and I thought we heard some raised voices.
03:11So, where'd she go?
03:13Don't know.
03:15I wouldn't worry about it.
03:16I'm sure she's fine.
03:17Orson, no!
03:22Orson, no!
03:29So, if I hear from Alma,
03:31I'll let her know that you dropped by.
03:34Okay.
03:37Okay.
03:37Okay.
03:38Okay.
03:41Okay.
03:45Orson Hodge was a man who did not like to be contradicted.
03:51By anyone.
04:01It doesn't rain very often in the town of Fairview,
04:05but when it does,
04:07it pours.
04:10It was on just such a day
04:12that Brie Vandekamp went on her first date
04:14with her new friend,
04:16Orson Hodge.
04:17A date that ended
04:19with a kiss in the rain.
04:22This occurred just as Gabrielle Solis
04:25was conferring with her new divorce lawyer
04:27and describing in vivid detail
04:30her husband's affair
04:31with their maid,
04:32who also happened to be
04:35their surrogate.
04:38Meanwhile,
04:39Lynette Scava was busy meeting
04:41her husband's illegitimate daughter.
04:46While resisting the urge
04:48to strangle the girl's mother.
04:51This happened
04:53just after Susan Meyer
04:54learned Mike Delfino
04:56had been badly injured
04:57in a hit-and-run accident
04:59and was now in a coma
05:01at Fairview Memorial Hospital.
05:04At that same moment,
05:06Edie Britt was putting up
05:08a for-sale sign
05:09on the lawn of the house
05:10where I once lived.
05:13Edie had also planned
05:14to spruce up the property
05:16by washing down the driveway.
05:18But she was pleased to see
05:20the rain had already
05:21taken care of that.
05:24This is what rainy days
05:26are good for.
05:27They make everything clean again.
05:30Which is necessary
05:32on a street
05:33like Wisteria Lane.
05:35Where everything
05:37can get so messy.
05:57Welcome, welcome.
06:00Oh, don't worry
06:01about the water.
06:02The floor's eliminated.
06:03Here's a flyer.
06:04And then the police
06:05found her severed fingers
06:06in the garage.
06:07Oh, no.
06:08And they never found
06:09Felicia's body.
06:10I wouldn't be surprised
06:11if someday you opened
06:12a cabinet and...
06:13Hello.
06:14Karen, dear,
06:15have you seen
06:16the marble backsplash?
06:17Oh, I just must show it to you.
06:19Excuse us.
06:21What are you trying to do
06:22to me, you backstabbing cow?
06:23They asked why
06:24the owner was selling.
06:25I told him that
06:26Paul Young was in jail.
06:27They asked why.
06:29Conversation has a flow.
06:31Well, knock it off.
06:32I've been trying to unload
06:33this house of horrors
06:34for months now
06:34and you are not helping.
06:36Ah, ah, ah!
06:37Those are for potential flyers!
06:39Withered old mooch?
06:41Good luck trying
06:41to find one of those.
06:42Maybe I'll have
06:43an easier time
06:44with the Apple White House
06:45or that rec room
06:45in the basement.
06:46Get out.
06:48Get out.
06:49Get out.
06:49Get out.
06:50Get out.
06:51Katie,
06:52do you have a moment, please?
06:54Yes, yes, yes, yes.
07:00Settle down.
07:01Come on!
07:03Kayla ready yet?
07:04Just a sec.
07:05Honey, thank you for this.
07:07I know it's a little weird,
07:08I mean,
07:09to send out a family Christmas photo
07:11with your husband's love child,
07:12but it means a lot to her
07:13to feel included.
07:14No problem.
07:15She's a great little girl.
07:16Okay.
07:17All right, let's do this.
07:19I'm just going to, um,
07:21check the focus.
07:25Nora!
07:27Lynette.
07:28Uh-huh.
07:28What are you doing there?
07:31Well, it's a family photo, right?
07:36Tom, could I, could I,
07:36could I check your tie again?
07:40She sat down so quickly,
07:41didn't know what to say.
07:42How about you're in the frame,
07:43bitch?
07:44Move.
07:46Lynette.
07:46No, I am sorry.
07:47How much of her crap
07:48do I have to put up with?
07:50First, it's a little drop-by's.
07:51Then she's inviting herself
07:52to dinner three times a week.
07:54Now she wants to be
07:54in our Christmas photo.
07:55I'm sorry.
07:56No, that's not happening.
07:57Hey, guys, don't fight.
07:59It's the holidays.
08:04Nora, this is just for our family.
08:06I would prefer if you weren't in it.
08:12Oh.
08:15Okay.
08:18Kayla, honey, we got to go?
08:19They're kicking us out.
08:22Well, didn't it say that Kayla
08:23couldn't be in the photo?
08:24Yeah, well, you know what?
08:25If I'm not your family,
08:27then she's not your family.
08:32It's okay.
08:33I don't have to be in the picture.
08:38Fine.
08:39Fine.
08:39No, absolutely fine.
08:41Put crazy at the end
08:42and we can crop her out later.
08:44Fair enough.
08:44Fair enough.
08:45Hey, everything's okay.
08:46It's okay.
08:46Come on, guys.
08:47Come on back.
08:49Thank you, Lynette.
08:51That's the Christmas spirit
08:52that I was looking for.
08:55Ten seconds.
08:56Okay.
09:01I think this is a little stiff.
09:03I have a really fun idea.
09:15Where are my crackers?
09:17We're out, but I got you a pickle.
09:20Pickles and soup?
09:22Who eats that?
09:23You know, that's all I got.
09:25Ever heard of a store?
09:33You did not just do that.
09:34I hate pickles.
09:35Pick it up.
09:37Doctors say I only get out of bed to pee.
09:40Better for baby.
09:42Remember?
09:49Don't go.
09:52I need you to rub my feet.
09:54They're sore.
09:55And doctor said...
09:56Oh, cut it out, Xiao Mei.
09:58The doctor didn't say anything
09:59about rubbing your chubby stumps.
10:01Rub them yourself.
10:03You treat me like dirt.
10:06Would you rather go live with Mr. Solis
10:09in a dingy one-bedroom apartment
10:11with no air conditioning and no cable?
10:13Huh?
10:15No.
10:15I didn't think so.
10:18You are meanest person I know.
10:20I am the meanest person.
10:22You've been in this country a year.
10:24Modify your nouns, damn it.
10:26What a bitch.
10:32I can't wait for you to pop out that baby.
10:35Because when you do,
10:37I am putting you on the first plane
10:38back to Shanghai.
10:39And you're going to be on all fours
10:40in a rice patty before the epidural wears off.
10:45But you promised to get me
10:46an apartment in Chinatown
10:47so I can work for my friend in restaurants.
10:50Starts a new life.
10:52Tell it to my Chinese friend.
10:54Sue me.
11:05You know, we do have people here
11:06in the hospital who could do that.
11:07But I like doing it.
11:08And I think Mike would want me to.
11:10Oops.
11:11Oh.
11:19So have you got the results
11:20of his latest MRI hit?
11:21I'm afraid there was no change.
11:23Oh.
11:24Well, how long until you can do another one?
11:26I don't want to tell you
11:27not to be optimistic, but...
11:29Look, I know it's been six months,
11:30but he could still come out of it, right?
11:32I saw on the news
11:33there was this woman in Peru.
11:34She woke up after ten years.
11:35There's a reason that made the news.
11:37You might think I'm naive,
11:39but I know he's coming back to me.
11:42Susan...
11:42Don't say it.
11:43You just keep doing your job,
11:44and I'll keep doing it.
11:59That risotto was perfect.
12:02Just like you.
12:05Listen, I hope you saved room for dessert.
12:07I got us something special
12:09from a wonderful little bakery downtown.
12:15That is so adorable.
12:17But I don't think I could eat another bite.
12:19Here, let me take half.
12:25What do you say, Brie?
12:27Will you marry me?
12:33This is a little sudden, isn't it?
12:36We've only known each other six months,
12:37but I've loved you every minute of it.
12:42But if you don't share my feelings...
12:44No, no, um...
12:46I do.
12:47It's just that, um,
12:49I can't help being cautious
12:50since, Rex,
12:52I haven't been exactly lucky enough.
12:54I used to feel the same way.
12:56When Alma left me,
12:58I was shattered,
12:58but I realize now
12:59it was the luckiest day of my life
13:01because it meant I was free
13:02when I met you.
13:06Luck can change, Brie.
13:09Let me change yours.
13:15Yes.
13:17Yes.
13:19Yes, I will marry you for soon.
13:49Ian Hainsworth had been miserable
13:52ever since a tragic horseback riding accident
13:55had left his wife, Jane, in a coma.
13:59For the next three years,
14:02he shied away from all social contact
14:04because he wanted to be alone with his grief.
14:09Then one day, he met Susan Meyer,
14:14who, because of her own tragedy,
14:16was just as miserable as he was.
14:22And a friendship slowly blossomed
14:25because, as everyone knows,
14:28misery loves company.
14:30And Ian was loving this company
14:34more and more every day.
14:43One, two, three, oh, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, itch, oh, itch, itch, itch, itch.
14:48Did the nurses know you do this?
14:50Oh, hey, um, you weren't supposed to see that.
14:53Well, clearly.
14:54But you can buy my silence
14:55if you'll have coffee with me.
14:57Oh, I would love to,
14:58but I think I'm in a rush here.
14:59I'm supposed to meet my girlfriends for lunch at one.
15:01Is it one yet?
15:02Well, you tell me.
15:03I noticed you're always rushing into the hall
15:05to check the time,
15:06so I, um, well, I bought you this.
15:09Oh.
15:10Wow.
15:12Um, I, I can't accept this.
15:15This is too extravagant.
15:16Oh, no, it's nothing.
15:17There's a guy in the sidewalk
15:18who had a bunch of them laid out in a blanket.
15:19If you look closely, it says Folex.
15:24Still, I...
15:24Please.
15:25It would make me so happy if you took it.
15:29Well, in that case,
15:31thank you for my cheap knockoff.
15:33Oh, my God.
15:34I'm late.
15:49Hi.
15:49Hi, hi, hi.
15:50Hi.
15:51I'm so sorry.
15:51I'm late.
15:52No, that's fine.
15:54Wow.
15:55White clubs.
15:55What, are we having luncheon in the 1880s?
15:57Yeah.
15:58Well, it's a very elegant club.
16:00You know, Orson's been a member here for years.
16:01It'll be even nicer when they finish the construction.
16:04So you were very mysterious on the phone.
16:06Why did you want to have lunch?
16:07Well, um, I wanted to invite you to a dinner
16:10that Orson and I are having this Saturday.
16:12So you asked us to a meal to announce another meal?
16:15That's so free of you.
16:18What's the occasion?
16:19Oh, um, no occasion.
16:20Just a little get-together.
16:22What are you being so coy about?
16:24I'm not being coy.
16:25She said coyly.
16:27If you don't tell us, we're not coming.
16:31Oh, all right.
16:33I wanted to wait and make a proper announcement,
16:36but Orson and I are engaged.
16:40Oh, my gosh.
16:41Oh, let me see.
16:42Wow.
16:43Oh.
16:44You move fast.
16:45I know it's quick, but it just feels so right.
16:48Orson is just the most warm, wonderful, generous man.
16:53Oh, generous.
16:55That means he's good in the sack.
16:57Actually, uh, no, we haven't had sex yet.
17:00We're waiting until we get married.
17:08Oh, my God, you're serious?
17:11No sex at all?
17:13Not even...
17:14Whatever you're alluding to, no.
17:17But you're gonna get married.
17:18You wouldn't buy a car without at least taking it
17:21for a little test drive.
17:23It's not like you've never slept with a guy
17:25you weren't married to.
17:26True.
17:27I have in the past given myself away too freely.
17:29How charming of you to bring that up
17:31while I'm announcing my engagement.
17:32But I like to think that I have learned from my mistakes.
17:35So the dinner is at 8 o'clock,
17:37and when we make the announcement,
17:38please, everybody look surprised.
17:41No, don't worry.
17:42I'm just gonna replay the look I had
17:43when I found out you hadn't banged him yet.
17:53Hey, sexy mama.
17:56That's cute.
17:57So you invited Kayla to Parker's birthday party, right?
18:00Of course.
18:01And?
18:02And?
18:03What did you tell Nora?
18:04I told her that we were picking up Kayla
18:06for a quiet afternoon at home.
18:09You lied?
18:10Yeah, you're damn straight I lied.
18:11I will not have that lunatic
18:12ruining one more family gathering.
18:14But Kayla's gonna, you know,
18:16tell Nora that we had a party,
18:17and I'm just afraid that Nora's gonna blow a gasket.
18:24What?
18:25So what are you saying?
18:26You're more afraid of Nora than you are of me?
18:28Is that what you think I meant?
18:30Because that's still not what I meant.
18:33You scared the hell out of me, baby.
18:42The coffee machine was broken,
18:43so I got us a couple of smoothies.
18:44They had strawberry and strawberry.
18:46Well, I hate strawberries,
18:48so give me the strawberry.
18:55Hi, Jane.
18:55Nothing against smoothies,
18:57but I wouldn't mind
18:58having some real food sometime.
19:00Maybe we could go to a restaurant.
19:02You mean, like, outside the hospital?
19:04Yeah, you know, like a date.
19:06A date?
19:08Yeah, there's a lovely little bistro
19:10down the street.
19:11I'm sorry.
19:14Well, that sounds just...
19:16That sounds great.
19:19I mean, I hope that's okay.
19:20Yeah.
19:27No, I was, um...
19:28I was thinking about how that sounded just now,
19:30the, uh, the date thing.
19:32I really sprang it on you out of nowhere.
19:34Yes, you did.
19:41Jane looked cold.
19:45Oh, thanks.
19:47Look, we're, um...
19:49We're both in difficult situations.
19:51I've been in mine a lot longer than you have,
19:53so, uh, if you're not ready,
19:55I understand.
19:56If you ever should be,
19:58uh, let...
19:58Let me know.
20:00All right.
20:02Wow, I am really hungry.
20:04Well, then, let's, um...
20:06Let's go to the blood bank
20:07and swipe some, some sugar cookies.
20:12Oh, um,
20:14you might want to give Jane a sponge bath,
20:15because she had a little accident.
20:30Hello?
20:31Hey, Lynette, it's me.
20:33Hey, Mom!
20:38Are you having a party?
20:39Shh, shh, quiet, quiet, quiet, quiet.
20:42No, shh.
20:43Yeah, no, no, of course not.
20:44In fact,
20:45we're just having a quiet afternoon at home.
20:49Um, the kids are so bored.
20:51Tom and I were thinking of taking them out for ice cream.
20:53Well, would you tell Kayla that Mommy called
20:56to check on her?
20:57Oh, I will, I will,
20:59and I'll see you tonight.
21:00Okay.
21:01Bye.
21:04You think she bought it?
21:05No, I think she'll be over here in ten minutes.
21:09Okay, let's move, let's move.
21:11I've got six bucks here
21:12for the kid who can carry the most stuff, okay?
21:16Hey, Gabby, it's Lynette.
21:18Got a little emergency here.
21:19Is it okay if we use your backyard?
21:22Great, great.
21:24And we take complete responsibility
21:26for whatever the pony does.
21:28Hope you get this message soon.
21:31Oh!
21:34My only concern would be the neighborhood.
21:37We really need a quiet place for our retirement.
21:40Oh, are you kidding?
21:41There's no place in Fairview
21:43that's more peaceful.
21:44Where the hell are we going?
21:46Oh, my God, come on, come on!
21:51Let me show you the media room.
21:53Okay, go on in.
21:55Count the balloons.
21:56Good.
21:57All right.
21:58Okay.
21:59All right, that's it.
22:02Where's the cake?
22:04Oh.
22:10Yoo-hoo!
22:13Anybody home?
22:19Hello?
22:20Hey, Nora.
22:22Wow, we weren't expecting you until seven.
22:25So where's Kayla?
22:26I thought I told you Tom
22:27took the kids to the movies.
22:29Uh-uh.
22:31You said ice cream.
22:34Uh-huh.
22:34After the movies.
22:36Movies, then ice cream,
22:37in American tradition.
22:39So was something wrong?
22:46To be honest,
22:47I thought that you were lying
22:48and having a party.
22:49Oh.
22:50I guess I was wrong.
22:51Oh, apology accepted.
22:53Want me to walk you to your car?
23:00Where did everybody go?
23:05Nora, look, I am sorry I lied,
23:07but, you know, you gave me no choice.
23:09It's...
23:09Lynette, I want my daughter.
23:12Where's the damn party?
23:15No, I'm not telling.
23:16Where's the party?
23:31No, no, no!
23:33You want in,
23:34you're gonna have to go through me.
23:35I want my kid, Lynette.
23:37Kayla!
23:39Kayla, come out here now!
23:41What's going on?
23:42Well, first you have a party
23:44and you don't invite me.
23:45And then you lie about it.
23:47So now, we're leaving.
23:50Wait a minute.
23:51Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on, Kayla.
23:54I'm sorry.
23:56We're sorry.
23:58We shouldn't have done that.
23:59But look, Kayla is having such a good time.
24:02Why don't we all just come on in
24:03and have some cake
24:03and we can just...
24:04Lynette, Lynette,
24:05we can just have fun.
24:07Could you excuse me for one second?
24:09Lynette.
24:11Okay, okay, I know,
24:13but what else could I do?
24:14I'm just thinking of Kayla.
24:16I know you are, Tom,
24:17and I know you love her.
24:19Why else do you think I'm willing
24:20to put up with all this for six months?
24:22Why do you think I'm willing
24:23to say to my college roommates,
24:24yes, that's my husband's love child
24:26and her mother in our Christmas picture,
24:27because I am your wife.
24:30You always come first with me.
24:35Do I still come first with you?
24:45I guess I'll see you later, Nora.
24:47Whoa.
24:48I'm taking Kayla.
24:49Well, that's a shame.
24:51I've got to go hoist a piñata.
24:55Mommy, they have a piñata.
24:57Yeah.
25:06Fine.
25:08I'll be back at seven,
25:09but there had better be
25:11a corner piece of cake waiting for me.
25:16Come on, Kayla.
25:17Go have some fun.
25:18Come on, go have some fun.
25:26Thank you for that.
25:28Sure.
25:30I'll be back in 20 minutes.
25:32Are you going to go buy a piñata?
25:33Sure am.
25:40Xiaomi?
25:42Come on out.
25:43I have your lunch.
25:47Xiaomi, your favorite soap is on.
25:50There's a doctor fondling a patient
25:52at the operating table.
25:53You're missing it.
25:55Xiaomi?
26:00Xiaomi?
26:15Hey, quick question.
26:17Have you, by any chance, seen Xiaomi?
26:21I can't believe you lost our baby.
26:23Not lose our baby.
26:24Stop saying that.
26:25I know exactly where it is.
26:26Inside some crazy Chinese woman
26:28who also stole a half a chicken
26:30from my fridge.
26:35Hi.
26:39Hi.
26:40Mi Wang.
26:41Right?
26:42Remember me?
26:43Xiaomi lives with me.
26:44You came over.
26:44We had lunch.
26:45You got some nerve show
26:46in your face here.
26:47Get up.
26:48Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
26:49Hey, what happened
26:50to that famous Chinese hospitality?
26:52Xiaomi called me.
26:53She said you threatened
26:54to send her back to China
26:55to work as a slave
26:56in a rice paddy.
27:00I, I may have mentioned
27:01deportation,
27:02but I didn't think
27:03she'd take it personally.
27:04Are you crazy?
27:05It was banter.
27:07I mean,
27:08has this country come to the point
27:09where you can't joke
27:10with the help?
27:12You treat Xiaomi like dirt.
27:13She's just the poor,
27:14innocent girl
27:15trying to live
27:15the American dream
27:16just like your ancestors.
27:19Oh, don't give me that
27:20we are the world crap.
27:22That woman's uterus
27:22is harboring a stolen baby.
27:24So if you know where she is,
27:25you better start talking
27:26or else I'm going to get
27:27the health department down here
27:28and take a closer look
27:29at what you're serving
27:30as mooshu pork.
27:37Boy, those people
27:38just don't have a sense
27:39of humor, do they?
27:41I'm telling you,
27:42at this number,
27:42it's not going to last long.
27:44Well, we've liked
27:44the neighborhood,
27:45but we've heard
27:46that some odd things
27:47have gone on
27:47with this house.
27:48Complete fabrication.
27:50Malicious lies
27:50spread by jealous competitors.
27:52Now you've got to
27:53check out the storage.
27:55You're not going to believe
27:55what you can put in here.
28:01And now the media room.
28:04Wow, we certainly
28:05devoured that ice cream.
28:07Can I get you anything else?
28:09You tell me.
28:10Hmm.
28:11Of course.
28:12Hmm.
28:14Hmm.
28:15Hmm.
28:16I thought we...
28:17Mm-hmm.
28:18Or soon.
28:19Mm-hmm.
28:19I just assumed,
28:20now that we're engaged.
28:21Does that change
28:22our core values?
28:24No.
28:25But when I saw you
28:26standing in front of the freezer
28:28in a clingy silk dress,
28:29let's just say,
28:30well, I challenged them.
28:32Well, I thought we agreed
28:33we wanted our wedding night
28:34to be perfect.
28:35Yes.
28:36Actress went opening night
28:37to be perfect.
28:38That's why they rehearse.
28:39Hmm.
28:40It'll be better this way.
28:43Now, can I get you
28:45some more ice cream?
28:47Not in that dress.
29:02Hi.
29:12So I need to ask you something.
29:16Ian, you know,
29:17from across the hall?
29:19You met him.
29:22Anyway,
29:24he sort of asked me out
29:28on a date.
29:31I know you're thrown.
29:33I was thrown, too.
29:35But he's really nice,
29:38and...
29:39I could sort of use
29:41someone to talk to
29:45who also talks back.
29:53The thing is,
29:55I'm sort of lonely.
29:59And the past six months
30:00have been really hard on me.
30:04So what I need is...
30:08I need to know
30:09if it's okay with you
30:10if I go out with him.
30:16Because if it's not,
30:17I won't.
30:18In fact,
30:19I'd like nothing better
30:19than for you to just
30:20wake up right now
30:21and tell me
30:21not to go out with him.
30:23Just wake up
30:24and tell me.
30:25Wake up!
30:27Please!
30:34All right.
30:40I'll see you tomorrow.
31:08I'm just dropping off Carlos,
31:10and then I'll be by
31:10to pick him up.
31:12Okay, thanks, Edie.
31:15Xiaomi's fine.
31:17Crisis averted.
31:18No harm, no foul.
31:20How can you say that?
31:21You endangered the life
31:21of our baby today.
31:23Don't you dare give me
31:24that attitude.
31:25You have no idea
31:26what I've been going through
31:26these past six months.
31:28Ah, here we go.
31:28I have had to wait
31:29hand and foot
31:30on your mistress.
31:32I mean, imagine
31:32if the day after you found out
31:34about John Rowland,
31:35you had to make his lunch
31:36and rub his feet.
31:37Yeah, well, John Rowland
31:38wasn't carrying our kid.
31:39Forgive me for being concerned
31:40about our surrogate.
31:43Xiaomi is going to be fine.
31:45Once that baby comes,
31:46her slate is wiped clean.
31:48She's going to walk away,
31:49go off and live
31:50her American dream.
31:51Me?
31:51I'm going to be stuck.
31:53A single mother
31:53raising a child alone.
31:55Haggling with lawyers
31:56on who gets the kid
31:57at Christmas.
32:01My American dream
32:02is officially dead.
32:06I'm sorry.
32:12Just so you know,
32:13my dream is in a...
32:21Okay, so we will
32:22see you Saturday
32:23and please pretend
32:25to be surprised.
32:27Bye.
32:29Told someone else?
32:30Breathe.
32:31I thought the whole point
32:32of the party
32:32was to announce our engagement.
32:34I just can't help it.
32:36I like telling people.
32:37It makes me feel...
32:39I don't know,
32:40it makes me feel
32:40like I'm starting over.
32:42It feels good.
32:43Feels good to me, too.
32:44I don't know.
32:47Ah, no hands, see?
32:54You don't have to
32:55wash those,
32:56I already did them.
32:57Oh, I found some streaks.
32:59So I'm wiping them down
33:01with undiluted
33:02red wine vinegar.
33:04I've never heard of that.
33:06Oh, sure.
33:07For tougher spots,
33:08I use a 50-50 mix
33:10of denatured alcohol
33:11and water.
33:14And for those really
33:16intractable stains,
33:17I mean,
33:18we're talking
33:19shower doors.
33:21I wipe on lacquer thinner
33:22with a towel.
33:29Breathe.
33:55Uh, excuse me?
33:58Did you lose something?
34:01No.
34:02I just thought
34:02for you.
34:05Oh, um,
34:07I don't do that.
34:09Why not?
34:10I'm a Republican.
34:12I'm a libertarian.
34:13I believe in minimizing
34:14the role of the state
34:15and maximizing individual rights.
34:17But Orson...
34:20trust me,
34:21I know what I'm doing.
34:39Oh, no.
34:41What?
34:42You didn't just
34:42crack that veneer again,
34:43did you?
34:44I have to go.
34:46Go?
34:48Go where?
34:50And then it was like
34:51something inside
34:52ruptured.
34:53Well, not so much
34:53a rupture
34:54as a spasm.
34:56Waves of this
34:57hot clutching.
34:59I think I might have
35:00had a small stroke.
35:02How severe were the pains?
35:03Well,
35:04that's the odd thing.
35:05I mean,
35:05there was no pain
35:06per se.
35:06In fact,
35:07it wasn't entirely unpleasant.
35:10What were you doing
35:11at the time?
35:13I was, uh,
35:14with my fiancé.
35:15We were lying down.
35:18Resting.
35:19I'm gonna take
35:20a wild swing here.
35:21Were you having sex?
35:24Sort of.
35:26Miss Vandercamp,
35:27I think you may have
35:28had an orgasm.
35:30No, no, no.
35:31I've had orgasms before.
35:32How would you describe them?
35:34Oh, you know,
35:34that warm sensation,
35:36that tingling feeling
35:37of relief when it's over.
35:38No, no,
35:39this was much...
35:41Better?
35:42Yes.
35:43That's because
35:43it was an orgasm.
35:48Oh.
35:50Well, it'll be dark.
36:28Hi, can I help you?
36:30Are you Brie Vandercamp?
36:32Yes, and you are?
36:33Carolyn Bigsteen.
36:35I was Orson's neighbor.
36:37Oh, well, come on in.
36:38Let's dry you off
36:39and get you a drink.
36:43I didn't come here
36:44to celebrate.
36:46Carolyn.
36:48Engaged again.
36:49That was quick work.
36:52Does she know
36:53you killed your wife?
36:57My wife left me.
37:00And no one ever
37:01heard from her again.
37:02Not me,
37:03not her family.
37:05Just dropped off
37:06the face of the earth.
37:11Orson,
37:12what is she talking about?
37:13Didn't tell you that part,
37:14did he?
37:15All right, Carolyn,
37:15you've made your little sue.
37:17Keep your hands off me.
37:20Don't let him fool you.
37:21Get away from him now
37:22while you can.
37:27Please leave my house.
37:30I'd be a fool.
37:32Marry him.
37:33Just don't be surprised
37:34when you go missing, too.
37:37I don't know.
37:55I'm sorry you had to endure that.
38:01Your wife
38:04disappeared?
38:06I tried to find her.
38:09Her family claimed
38:10not to have heard from her.
38:13personally,
38:13I think she was just
38:14trying to punish me.
38:17So,
38:19are you still married?
38:21No.
38:21I was granted a divorce
38:23on grounds of abandonment.
38:27Brie,
38:30you can't possibly think
38:32that...
38:32No, of course not.
38:37I love you.
38:40And I love you.
38:45Of course.
38:48My hand.
39:04The buffet is open.
39:04I'm sure it's been a Friday.
39:06So...
39:15the buffet is open.
39:18Brie.
39:45Every storm brings with it hope
39:48that somehow by morning
39:50everything will be made clean again.
39:54And even the most troubling stains
39:56will have disappeared.
39:58Like the doubts
40:00over his innocence.
40:04Or the consequence
40:05of his mistake.
40:12Like the scars
40:13of his betrayal.
40:20Or the memory
40:22of his kiss.
40:27So we wait for the storm to pass
40:30hoping for the best.
40:37Even though we know
40:39in our hearts
40:42some stains
40:43are so indelible
40:46nothing
40:47can wash them away.
40:51Nothing
41:14can wash them away.
41:15That's right.
41:16And it doesn't
41:16won't be
41:33You think
41:38you were
41:38if you have
41:38it on the right
41:38can you
41:39it's right.
41:39Can you
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