00:00It's the Andy Summer Show.
00:01Three calls and it all is where we read a note that we've received from a member of the Summer
00:06Squad.
00:07And we need you to chime in and let us know what this person should do.
00:11They've got a question.
00:12You've got the answers.
00:13So this morning, the note comes from Hayden.
00:16Hayden said, I've been on two dates with a woman that I really like, but I honestly can't tell if
00:21she's into me or if she's just being polite.
00:24When we're together, we have a good time.
00:26Conversation flows.
00:27But when we're not, she seems cold over text and on the phone.
00:30I'm trying to be respectful and not come on too strong.
00:33So I haven't pushed anything.
00:34But that also means that I really don't know where we stand.
00:38I would ask her directly, but I'm trying not to make things awkward.
00:40Do I keep feeling it out and risk wasting my time?
00:44Or should I just be up front and ask her if we're actually vibing?
00:48I can see this being an issue.
00:50Okay, I am cracking up.
00:53Did my boyfriend write this in?
00:56Uh-oh.
00:57Well, Shan.
00:58This is exactly what happened to him.
01:01Nuh-uh.
01:02Now, his name is Sam and not Hayden.
01:04Okay.
01:05So I'm going to believe that this is not my boyfriend.
01:08But when we...
01:09I mean, listen, we don't verify this.
01:11We don't know.
01:11We don't know.
01:12When we first started dating, I am very much a...
01:16I don't want to text too much before the first, like, three or four dates because I want to get
01:22to know you in person, not over text.
01:25Okay.
01:25I feel like you can develop this, like, parasocial relationship with that person, and then it might not vibe in
01:30person.
01:31Right.
01:31Because there is a difference.
01:32Yeah.
01:32And so he's told me, he's like, I truly did not think you liked me at all because you wouldn't
01:38text me.
01:38Like, he would text me, like, in the morning, and then I would text him not until the afternoon.
01:43Oh, Shan.
01:43So I was like, I just want to have the rest of my day.
01:45I don't want to be texting all day.
01:47But Hayden...
01:47Gosh, she's got a lot of constraint, doesn't she?
01:49Yeah.
01:50Hayden, if she's saying yes, then she's interested.
01:54Okay.
01:55When she says no, she'll let you know.
01:57Like, when she's not interested, she will not go on dates with you anymore.
02:01So she's saying yes, yes, she's interested.
02:04That's my advice for you.
02:06That's good.
02:07That's good.
02:08Yeah.
02:09Donnie?
02:10No, I'm out.
02:12I'm bailing.
02:14If they're not texting?
02:15No, if you're cold over texting, I'm just, I'm over it.
02:18I'm done.
02:19Like, just bye.
02:20Like, on to the next one.
02:21Right, it's only been two dates.
02:22Yeah.
02:23Right, so...
02:23What are we doing?
02:24That's a big factor, too.
02:25Yeah, it's only been two dates.
02:26So, yeah, if you're not feeling it, then maybe you should follow your gut on this.
02:31A hundred percent.
02:32Yeah.
02:32I would be out.
02:33I can see it both ways, but I'll tell you this.
02:35When my husband and I first met each other, we went on one date and then had a conversation,
02:40and we were like, okay, we really like each other.
02:43We worked together, so we saw each other often, even though we had only gone on the one date.
02:46And we were like, how about if we do this?
02:49We will just always be totally honest with each other.
02:52And we honestly have this conversation.
02:55And if I tell you, like, if I'm jumping ahead and I one day am like, I love you, and
03:01you
03:02are like, yeah, that's not happening, then we're done.
03:06But you have to say it, right?
03:07Like, we just, so that we don't waste time.
03:09Like, it's not, I'm not going to take it personally if you don't reciprocate the same
03:12feelings that I have.
03:13Yeah.
03:14Right?
03:14Like, let's get over it and just move on with our lives.
03:17And so, yeah, we were so gushy then from that moment on.
03:22And yeah, so then we knew.
03:24Now you're married.
03:24But we had the conversation.
03:26So maybe you've been in a situation that can help Hayden out.
03:30Is she being too cold?
03:33Is she being cold intentionally?
03:35Is this a play?
03:36Maybe it's a play.
03:37Yeah, hard to get.
03:38Is it a conversation that's worth having after two dates?
03:41What do you think?
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