- hace 12 horas
Un chico pretende ser homosexual para llamar la atención de mujeres, pero en vez de atraer a una chica atrae a su compañero de habitación.
Categoría
🎥
CortometrajesTranscripción
00:00:01Coming!
00:00:10Who is it?
00:00:11Phone service, ma'am.
00:00:16Phone service, ma'am.
00:00:19Hi.
00:00:22Howdy, ma'am.
00:00:24The phone, it's in my boudoir.
00:00:31It works fine, ma'am.
00:00:35Does it?
00:00:39You didn't call me here for the phone.
00:00:43I did.
00:00:50Where do you think you're going?
00:00:53Maybe this isn't such a good idea.
00:00:57You call me here for a reason.
00:00:58Okay.
00:01:00I thought you were cute.
00:01:04You like that, huh?
00:01:06Please.
00:01:08Hold still.
00:01:09Please. Stop. This isn't funny.
00:01:12It's not funny to call in.
00:01:13You're scaring me.
00:01:16Damn right, bitch.
00:01:20I've got a stud gun in here!
00:01:22Go for it.
00:01:29No!
00:01:32No!
00:01:33No!
00:01:34No!
00:01:34Please, no!
00:01:36No!
00:01:38No!
00:01:39No!
00:01:40No!
00:01:41No!
00:01:43No!
00:01:46No!
00:01:53No!
00:01:57No!
00:02:00No!
00:02:01No!
00:02:21Did you come?
00:02:23No.
00:02:24Did you?
00:02:26No, I was faking it for you.
00:02:30Well, I was faking it for you.
00:02:34Jesus, I thought...
00:02:36I thought you were coming.
00:02:38I'm sorry, Tiffany.
00:02:40I can't get into it with you, Caleb.
00:02:42You didn't even grab my titties.
00:02:46Well, it didn't occur to me.
00:02:49My titties didn't occur to you?
00:02:53Look at them, Caleb.
00:02:55They occur to every man I meet, but not you.
00:02:58I don't think this is working.
00:03:00I can be meaner.
00:03:01You're too nice.
00:03:02I need a little shake and bake in my life.
00:03:05I need to feel dirty.
00:03:07Filthy.
00:03:08You're so SUV.
00:03:11Double coupons.
00:03:12Family fun.
00:03:14I'll break stuff next time.
00:03:15Caleb, it's over.
00:03:17Tiffany.
00:03:17Goodbye.
00:03:18I waited 24 days to have sex with you.
00:03:20Well, I didn't want to seem like a slut.
00:03:23Tiffany.
00:03:24Caleb!
00:03:25Leave.
00:03:26I got a jet up.
00:03:30My belt.
00:03:38Fucking bitch.
00:03:43I'm still not buying it.
00:03:47Give me another chance.
00:03:50I am not a slot machine.
00:03:54Goodbye, Caleb.
00:03:56You're a decent boy.
00:04:02Nice ass.
00:04:16I can't sleep when you're on my mind.
00:04:21Because of you, I'm restless.
00:04:23You tease and you play and you leave me insane.
00:04:28I know it's your game, but I play anyway.
00:04:32You touch and you pull, so I have no control.
00:04:37I'm under your spell.
00:04:39There is no letting go.
00:04:42I want you every night till the morning light.
00:04:45Do you want to try?
00:04:47I want you to turn me on till the break of dawn.
00:04:50I can feel so well.
00:04:51I want you every night till the morning light.
00:04:54Do you want to try?
00:04:56I want you to turn me on till the break of dawn.
00:04:59I can feel so well.
00:05:00I want you to turn me on till the break of dawn.
00:05:04I can feel so well.
00:05:05I want you every night till the morning. Do you want to try? I want you to turn me home
00:05:12to the break of dawn.
00:05:13You're so mad. I want you every night till the morning. Do you want to try? I want you to
00:05:20turn me home to the break of dawn.
00:05:24Heterosexuals are a fucked up species.
00:05:2624 days and then one week of me not raping or me enough and I get shat out.
00:05:31Almost like a computer man. You do every little thing right and then wham. Sad face, fatal error, 3801.
00:05:37For us sex on the first date is a given. You figure out the hardware, mismatches and you move on.
00:05:41Oh well it's just so easy bait for you, huh?
00:05:43Well most guys don't know when to stop moving on.
00:05:46We should get laid all the time.
00:05:48It's like 104 days between dates for me because I don't look like you.
00:05:52Like me.
00:05:54I'm not going to stroke your gorgeous muscular ego.
00:05:59Well so what ever happened with the Jason thing?
00:06:01Justin.
00:06:02Guys around here are like day old donuts.
00:06:05I mean I eat them because they're there but you don't want to invest anything in them.
00:06:08Well at least you got the whole box right there. You don't have to starve.
00:06:11Caleb, I'm on Friendster. My life is so not having sex in the city right now.
00:06:18If only I were gay.
00:06:21Honey, come out or stay in. Do not haste me into a Mariah.
00:06:26I don't mean literally.
00:06:27Oh of course illiterally.
00:06:28You know what I mean.
00:06:29You know.
00:06:30It's easy for us to get chicks too.
00:06:33Straight girls love gay boys.
00:06:35I could get any girl I wanted.
00:06:37Shut the fuck.
00:06:38Serial killer.
00:06:39Remember Marcy Brooks?
00:06:43Shut the fuck. Milkshake Marcy.
00:06:45Right after I came out senior year, she offered to hoover me to see if she could cure me.
00:06:51You were a geekazoid. No offense.
00:06:53Point is I'm a geek and I could have got Electrolux Dreamin' from Milkshake Marcy.
00:06:56Because I'm gay.
00:06:58Man.
00:07:01Now I really want to be a fag.
00:07:03You and Ricky Martin both.
00:07:04Jennifer Seaver.
00:07:06Ginny the Beaver, fire crotch.
00:07:10Shoves her fist down my pants.
00:07:12Full on grabs my corn dog.
00:07:15Swear to god I was going to puke.
00:07:17They feel safe with us because we're not a threat.
00:07:19Like how they get naked in front of puppies.
00:07:21We're just puppies with dicks.
00:07:23You know chicks and their puppies.
00:07:25Let them eat them right out.
00:07:26I read that McKinsey report.
00:07:27My speciality.
00:07:29Oh what I would have done with the beef.
00:07:31Impregnated her.
00:07:32Got a shit job.
00:07:33Ooh sounds real hot.
00:07:35She's not even your type.
00:07:41So, you think more girls would go for me if they thought that I was gay?
00:07:45Stop thinking.
00:07:46You just look pretty and turn the letters.
00:07:49No but I mean, look let's get a Sofia Coppola thing straight here.
00:07:52Being gay is more than listening to good music and eating low fat foods.
00:07:57There are certain things you have to do to convince the general public.
00:07:59Oh.
00:08:01Wicked stage bashing.
00:08:03No.
00:08:03What you need to do is find the loudest queen on campus and smoke his pole.
00:08:09Now that would be a wrist-damped pussy smorgasbord.
00:08:20I'm hungry.
00:08:22I'm not your bitch.
00:08:25Ah!
00:08:26Oh my god!
00:08:27You pricked it Gwen!
00:08:28You pricked it!
00:08:28I can't believe it!
00:08:30I love you Gwen.
00:08:31And I love you Joey.
00:08:38Which one do you want?
00:08:40Oh honey, that one.
00:08:42So big.
00:08:47I love you bunny cakes.
00:08:49And I love you ginger butt.
00:08:51OK, thank you.
00:08:57Thanks for coming.
00:08:58Mongoloid.
00:08:58Buildo.
00:09:00Ooh.
00:09:01The girl went on that big girl where's from?
00:09:03Your girlfriend.
00:09:04Oops.
00:09:04I mean, ex girlfriend.
00:09:07It's my brother.
00:09:09He just got dumped.
00:09:10Hard.
00:09:11I hate your brother.
00:09:12Who told you, you little bitch?
00:09:14I know. He totally is.
00:09:18Uh, excuse me. Why don't you?
00:09:23Okay. Why don't I just turn into Gash's form for a minute?
00:09:27Ooh, it smells like you're already halfway there.
00:09:29Dogs have a heightened sense of smell.
00:09:32Well, with an ass that big, it's like floodlights to us.
00:09:35These are headlights, and I don't plan on breaking.
00:09:38Well, keep pedaling, because you're almost a busy intersection.
00:09:40The intersection's only busy because you are giving half-price blowjobs.
00:09:44All right, what are the rules of this game?
00:09:45I don't know. We just lost.
00:09:47Loser.
00:09:48Freak.
00:09:50I'm on the phone!
00:09:52You won't leave me alone.
00:09:54Go, Grey's outside.
00:09:55Stop mooching. Go back to college and eat your instant ramen.
00:09:59Mom!
00:10:00Caleb's drinking out of the milk carton!
00:10:02I am not!
00:10:04It's the acidophilus!
00:10:08Caleb, honey? You okay?
00:10:10We heard you got dumped.
00:10:19You're way hot.
00:10:22You're waxing sexy.
00:10:29You're in the homeless people that have accents, huh?
00:10:45I don't like to kiss.
00:10:48You're kidding.
00:10:50Seriously.
00:10:54You can put on my nipples if you want.
00:11:01You know, kissing is so 1990s.
00:11:22I think I might be...
00:11:26I think I might be gay.
00:11:29Gay?
00:11:30Well, just a little bit.
00:11:32I turned another one?
00:11:33It could be just a phase.
00:11:35Oh, please.
00:11:37Can you list any tracks on Madonna's Like a Prayer album?
00:11:40Um, Express Yourself, Cherish, Oh Father...
00:11:43Vogue?
00:11:43No, honey. Vogue was on Dick Tracy.
00:11:45It's not a fucking phase.
00:11:47You're a full-fledged homo.
00:11:49Jesus, what did I do?
00:11:50Well, didn't you ever suspect?
00:11:52I mean, I am a little...
00:11:56I know what you mean.
00:11:59We're all just people.
00:12:03Just bodies with organic needs.
00:12:08We need satisfaction.
00:12:11We shouldn't deny our bodies.
00:12:15Let's not deny our bodies.
00:12:16I think it's not going to work this time.
00:12:19I'm pretty gay.
00:12:20I was good enough for you last night, you fucking faggot.
00:12:23You're not being very positive about this.
00:12:25I couldn't be any more positive if I was gang raped in a repository bin at the needle exchange.
00:12:32All I do is help gays come out.
00:12:36So who are you fucking?
00:12:39Well, I haven't had sex yet.
00:12:41I mean, except with you.
00:12:43And some of the girl.
00:12:45Get out!
00:12:46Can we be, like, best friends or something?
00:12:48I already have a gay best friend.
00:12:51Yeah.
00:12:53Mark.
00:12:54Is he single?
00:12:55Get out!
00:13:04It's like I'm on a conveyor belt.
00:13:06A little piece of sushi.
00:13:07You know what he wants?
00:13:08You looking for Mr. Right now?
00:13:09Please, I'll settle for Mr. Five Minutes Ago.
00:13:14Sorry.
00:13:15No, pal?
00:13:18Whoa.
00:13:19Joey!
00:13:21Just remember, every time you suck a dick, every time you poke some boy in the brown eye,
00:13:28just remember that you've eaten pussy.
00:13:32You ate pussy and you liked it!
00:13:35I...
00:13:36YOU CAME!
00:13:37Hey, Gwen.
00:13:38Who's your friend?
00:13:42Oh, jeez.
00:13:46Fare thee well, my fairy faith.
00:13:49Who was that?
00:13:50I don't know.
00:13:51He's a newborn.
00:13:52No, the girl.
00:13:56Gwen.
00:13:58She's hot.
00:13:59She's cute, but a total Meredith Brooks hit single.
00:14:03Excuse me.
00:14:07Is that her boyfriend?
00:14:10No, her roommate, Mark.
00:14:12Love of my life is gay, and I'm invisible.
00:14:17So are her friends gay or what?
00:14:19She's kind of a fag hag.
00:14:20Oh, I hate that term.
00:14:21Because you're the one.
00:14:22Shut up.
00:14:22I am not.
00:14:23You live with me.
00:14:25So she's straight, though, right?
00:14:27Yeah, I was just totally in love with Mark.
00:14:29They dated when he was in the closet, and she's been trying to replace him ever since.
00:14:33Doing a real good job, though.
00:14:34Keeps dating fags.
00:14:38I feel like a turnstile to the white party.
00:14:41Why do you keep doing this?
00:14:43I don't know.
00:14:46They're time bombs, Gwen.
00:14:49It doesn't seem worth it.
00:14:51I met you.
00:14:54Let's not go there.
00:14:56The best thing that ever happened to me.
00:15:00I want to go home, Mark.
00:15:02Take me home.
00:15:04I just got here.
00:15:05Let's just hang for a bit.
00:15:08I'll do a little damage control.
00:15:14I bet I looked pretty stupid out there.
00:15:17Not at all.
00:15:19Liar.
00:15:20You did look sort of good.
00:15:22I did.
00:15:27You ate pussy.
00:15:28You liked it.
00:15:30Fuck you.
00:15:34I almost made up a British guy in a broom closet.
00:15:38But he wouldn't kiss.
00:15:40Maybe your breath was penis-y.
00:15:58Can I make you a drink?
00:16:04Did you want me to make you a drink?
00:16:07I'm gorgeous, not helpless.
00:16:10It's not a sexist thing.
00:16:11I just thought you might be, you know, stressed out.
00:16:14Just get the fuck out of my way.
00:16:17Sorry.
00:16:19Thanks, hon.
00:16:20You want to make one for yourself?
00:16:21Fuck you.
00:16:23She just brushed me off with a flamethrower.
00:16:25She's just like that at first.
00:16:26Do you like him, Butch?
00:16:32Would you stop being a total zit and leave me alone?
00:16:35It's taking so long.
00:16:37Hi, Gwen.
00:16:39You know this guy?
00:16:40Yeah.
00:16:40Caleb.
00:16:41This is Gwen.
00:16:42Sorry, Caleb.
00:16:44It's been a night.
00:16:46Uh, nice to meet you.
00:16:48Caleb's gay.
00:16:55You're gay?
00:16:57Uh, uh...
00:16:59He's kind of new.
00:17:00Oh, honey, that's so sweet.
00:17:03Are you two together?
00:17:04Oh, no.
00:17:05Not anymore.
00:17:06We're just roommates.
00:17:08Good.
00:17:08We were never together.
00:17:11Sorry.
00:17:12Sometimes I can be a cut and a half.
00:17:14I thought you were a drunk breeder boy going for the chicken to spare.
00:17:19Your shoes had me fooled.
00:17:24Like I said, he's new.
00:17:29Gwen.
00:17:32Hi, Mark.
00:17:33Kevin.
00:17:35Kyle.
00:17:36Mark, this is Caleb.
00:17:40Hi.
00:17:41It's Garfield.
00:17:49Nice to meet you, Caleb.
00:17:55Oh.
00:17:56Oh, sorry.
00:17:57I'm...
00:17:57I'm totally drunk.
00:17:59No, you're not.
00:18:00You're designated driver.
00:18:02No, I think you're wrong, Gwen.
00:18:03Uh, I was just meeting Gwen and we are...
00:18:06Are you here?
00:18:06Oh, he's my roommate.
00:18:08We dated.
00:18:09We didn't date.
00:18:11Let's see where our work is done here.
00:18:14Uh, where are you going?
00:18:15What?
00:18:16Let's give them some room to breathe on each other.
00:18:18I'm not a doctor.
00:18:20Not a chance with that around, huh?
00:18:24So?
00:18:28You stole my boyfriend.
00:18:30He's not your boyfriend.
00:18:31Oh, so now you're gay?
00:18:32This was your idea.
00:18:33You knew how I felt about him.
00:18:35We're not doing anything.
00:18:36You're going on a date.
00:18:37That was his idea.
00:18:38I've been stalking him for years.
00:18:40You decided to be gay for one night.
00:18:41I'm not gay.
00:18:42Why don't you just tell him you like him?
00:18:44That would be as futile as drug testing at the gay games.
00:18:47So you think you're going to get Gwen like this?
00:18:50I don't know.
00:18:55I don't want to go.
00:18:57But he lives with her.
00:18:59I'll get to see her again.
00:19:01And I can just tell her the truth and get this whole thing sorted out.
00:19:05Of course, there goes any chance I had with her.
00:19:08And you live with me.
00:19:11So Mark will have to come here.
00:19:13This could be parfait.
00:19:15Go on a few dates with Mark.
00:19:17The four of us hang.
00:19:18You come to the sad realization that you're straight.
00:19:21You go running to Gwen.
00:19:22Mark comes running to me.
00:19:24Genius.
00:19:25I'll be your, um, goatee.
00:19:28How do you know they'll do that?
00:19:29That sounds etch-a-sketchy to me.
00:19:31No, no.
00:19:32It's parfait.
00:19:33You don't understand human nature the way that I do.
00:19:35I'm a musician.
00:19:36And who got you that date with Tiffany?
00:19:38You hit her with my car on purpose?
00:19:39No.
00:19:40That was just dumb luck.
00:19:41I knew how to take advantage of the situation.
00:19:44Plus, Tiffany lives right next door to them.
00:19:46And seeing you date her neighbor would kill her.
00:19:50Okay.
00:19:51One date, and we'll see how it goes from there.
00:19:53But, no sex stuff.
00:19:55Yeah, try to control yourself.
00:20:10Fuck me?
00:20:13Or, fuck you.
00:20:15You'll actually wear it for, what, 20 minutes?
00:20:18Not with this guy.
00:20:20Because he's Mr. Wonderful.
00:20:23Mr. Yin of my yang.
00:20:25I talked to him for 15 minutes, and I feel like I've known him my whole life.
00:20:32I'll be happy if he likes to kiss.
00:20:34He's probably a freak.
00:20:36When he's around, my heart beats like a trailer park husband.
00:20:41That is so gay.
00:20:44And I mean all three definitions.
00:20:46So, what are you doing?
00:20:48Eating out?
00:20:49Richard's having a bbq for staff in the music department.
00:20:55And then?
00:20:56I don't know.
00:21:02But try not to be here.
00:21:06So, then you're eating out.
00:21:13What if he tries to grab me?
00:21:14We're not pirates.
00:21:15We just dress like them.
00:21:17And chase booty.
00:21:18But he'll be just as nervous as you, so try not to punch him if he makes a move on
00:21:22you or anything.
00:21:23Uh, I don't think I'd punch him.
00:21:25I think I'd probably just start crying or something.
00:21:28Aw, you got fagitude.
00:21:31Well, how do I know if he wants to do it?
00:21:33Is there like a code word or something?
00:21:36You mean like homo lingo?
00:21:37We talk normally in English.
00:21:40Ugh, I'm a failed role model.
00:21:44Do I look gay?
00:21:48Like an insatiable bottom.
00:21:55Why'd you say that?
00:21:56Just to fuck with you.
00:21:57It's for you, blow me out.
00:22:01Hello?
00:22:03It's me.
00:22:05Hi, Tiffany.
00:22:06I was just running out the door, but...
00:22:08Hi, Tiffany.
00:22:09So, I ran into Max today.
00:22:13How is Max?
00:22:15Well, he's fine, and you're gay.
00:22:19That's just...
00:22:20It explains an awful lot.
00:22:22I thought maybe I wasn't attractive enough,
00:22:25but now I see where I stand.
00:22:29Why are you calling?
00:22:30I thought maybe, you know,
00:22:34I could win you back to our team.
00:22:41Sorry, Tiffany.
00:22:42I'm gay now.
00:22:45How could you do this to me?
00:22:47Well, actually, I think you did it to me.
00:22:50What?
00:22:51I think he turned me gay.
00:22:53I did not turn you gay.
00:22:55How could you say that?
00:22:56Well, I mean, don't take it personally.
00:22:58I ain't my person.
00:22:59How else am I supposed to take it?
00:23:01Bastard!
00:23:26You know, it's funny.
00:23:27I used to have one.
00:23:28I had a friend that lived in the same building.
00:23:30I'll be like five minutes, okay?
00:23:32Please, Siegfried and Roy couldn't tame your hair.
00:23:35Oh, it's okay.
00:23:35Gwen can keep you company.
00:23:37I'm used to entertaining your tricks.
00:23:40Okay, mute.
00:23:42She's kidding.
00:23:43I haven't had a trick in, like, so long.
00:23:45I mean, tricks are for kids.
00:23:50I've had dates.
00:23:51It's just...
00:23:52Go powder your nose, babe.
00:23:53The powder that goes on your nose.
00:24:02Hello, and welcome to the Gwynn Anderson show.
00:24:06Hi.
00:24:06Mind if I couch with you?
00:24:08Sure.
00:24:10So, what's your majorette?
00:24:12Uh, poli-sci.
00:24:14Ooh, brainy smurf.
00:24:16I'm not very good at it, though.
00:24:19Honest.
00:24:20I like you.
00:24:22Thanks.
00:24:25Did you bring condoms?
00:24:27Uh, for...
00:24:29I'm kidding.
00:24:30Relax.
00:24:30You look so tense.
00:24:35How's that?
00:24:38It's nice.
00:24:42When you guys come home tonight, try not to make too much noise.
00:24:45I have to tutor in the morning.
00:24:48I don't think you need a word, though.
00:24:50Kidding again.
00:24:51I don't tutor.
00:24:53Make all the noise you want.
00:24:55This girl upstairs has all these guys over and makes them pretend to rape her.
00:25:00She screams and throws things.
00:25:03It really freaked me out.
00:25:04I called the cops the first couple of times.
00:25:07Oh.
00:25:07Huh.
00:25:09Well, it's probably not different guys.
00:25:10It's probably the same guy you know, just different roles.
00:25:14Oh, no.
00:25:15It's different guys.
00:25:15Sometimes there's like three or four of them, and they do this whole gangbang routine.
00:25:20She's all,
00:25:21No, you're doing me all at once.
00:25:25Sick, huh?
00:25:27But, you know, to each your own.
00:25:30My parents think I'm nuts for chasing gay boys.
00:25:34Maybe they'd lighten up if I told them I was into orgiastic splendor.
00:25:41You know, two guys, one orifice.
00:25:46They call it double dicking.
00:25:52It's pretty weird.
00:25:58So, Caleb, before you started to go girl, did you ever go girl?
00:26:14Oh, no.
00:26:15I mean, just the thought of it is...
00:26:17Oh, defensive.
00:26:19Like, not even before you came out?
00:26:23No.
00:26:26Okay.
00:26:27So, sue me, but I have to say it.
00:26:31If you've never tricked with a chick, are you sure you pick dick?
00:26:39Well, I've never done it with a dude.
00:26:42And I, you know, gay.
00:26:45Hey.
00:26:47God.
00:26:48You're a virgin?
00:26:51A virgin homosexual.
00:26:55Let me touch you.
00:26:59What about Kyle?
00:27:02Oh, no.
00:27:03We never...
00:27:03Thank God.
00:27:05You just don't look right together.
00:27:08A virgin.
00:27:12You're so cute.
00:27:16How'd you make it past 18?
00:27:19Would've thought some muscle daddy would've plucked you from the chicken coop a long time ago.
00:27:26Well, Mark's very gentle.
00:27:29He plucked my cherry.
00:27:31Got nothing to worry about.
00:27:35Okay.
00:27:39Caleb.
00:27:41Honey.
00:27:44If you've never had a boy or a girl, maybe you should try the normal thing first.
00:27:52I mean, why stray down a path of oppression and isolation when happiness might be right here?
00:28:04Have you ever been curious about kissing a girl?
00:28:10A little, maybe?
00:28:15Gwen.
00:28:17Yes?
00:28:20We need to talk.
00:28:22Talk.
00:28:25Am I interrupting?
00:28:27Okay.
00:28:28I tried everything.
00:28:29Total fag.
00:28:30He's all yours.
00:28:33She tries that on everyone.
00:28:36Not that there's a lot of guys.
00:28:38You ready?
00:28:42Sure, whatever.
00:28:47Play with the safety on, boys.
00:28:49Always do, mother.
00:28:53Would you boys do me a favor?
00:28:56It would so turn me on.
00:28:59What's that?
00:29:02Kiss.
00:29:03I think two guys kissing is so hot.
00:29:06Not in front of you.
00:29:08Please.
00:29:09We haven't even done it in private yet.
00:29:12I mean, we don't even know if we're going there.
00:29:15Think of it as an icebreaker.
00:29:17Caleb.
00:29:20Please.
00:29:21For me.
00:29:24Um.
00:29:25Only if it's okay with Mark.
00:29:26Oh, it's okay.
00:29:28Well, great.
00:29:30Great.
00:29:32Great.
00:29:39Please.
00:29:40How's the girl supposed to get off on that?
00:29:42Kiss my grandma like that in her coffin.
00:29:44Gwen, if he doesn't want...
00:29:59Well, that's a way to start a date.
00:30:03How was that?
00:30:05It was great.
00:30:07It was a start.
00:30:09Goodbye, Gwen.
00:30:12Bye, Gwen.
00:30:13Bye.
00:30:15Sexual.
00:30:18Sorry about all that.
00:30:20That's just Gwen.
00:30:23Oh, I totally dig her.
00:30:24She's great.
00:30:25Oh, yeah.
00:30:26I totally love her.
00:30:27If only I was straight, you know.
00:30:29It seems like every time I find the perfect guy,
00:30:33it's a girl.
00:30:35Straight boys must have it so easy.
00:30:38I wouldn't say that.
00:30:40Come on.
00:30:41Every girls are everywhere.
00:30:42It's cruel.
00:30:46I'm sorry.
00:30:47Am I making you nervous?
00:30:50Not at all.
00:30:53I'm making you nervous.
00:30:57No, it's okay.
00:31:00So, I gotta warn you.
00:31:02They're all music types at this party.
00:31:06Classical musicians.
00:31:07A little offbeat.
00:31:10That means crazy.
00:31:11Yeah.
00:31:16Do you like classical?
00:31:19Hello, sweetheart.
00:31:22Ooh.
00:31:24Who is this?
00:31:26Caleb, this is Richard and his wife, Mika.
00:31:34And so, the program's spelled Beethoven, B-E-A-T.
00:31:44So, Caleb, what do you do?
00:31:47Oh, he goes to the U.
00:31:49Wonderful.
00:31:50So, how long have the two of you been an item?
00:31:53Ronnie.
00:31:54Please.
00:31:55We kind of just met.
00:31:57Oh, that's so sweet.
00:32:00The two of you look so cute together.
00:32:03Like a couple of jugs or kulkas.
00:32:06Caleb, have you heard Mark play?
00:32:10No.
00:32:11Well, you must.
00:32:12He's the most talented pianist the school's had in years.
00:32:16It's divine.
00:32:18Mark, you have to play something before you leave.
00:32:22Well, I thought we were going to do
00:32:23Eight Hands, Two Pianos later.
00:32:24Yes, Richard.
00:32:26Set that up.
00:32:31Caleb, why don't you turn the pages for Mark and Winston?
00:32:35Just turn the page as fast as you can when I nod.
00:32:39You'll do fine.
00:32:42Ready?
00:32:47And...
00:33:12Turn!
00:33:14Oh.
00:33:17Sorry.
00:33:20Turn.
00:33:22Sorry.
00:33:29And...
00:33:33Sorry.
00:33:36Sorry.
00:33:36Sorry.
00:33:36Sorry.
00:33:37All right.
00:34:31That was so cool, man.
00:34:33You guys were awesome.
00:34:34You really had a good time?
00:34:36It was great.
00:34:38That Ronnie's a character.
00:34:39Yeah, I have some weird friends.
00:34:43They're fun, though.
00:34:44And you're great on the piano.
00:34:47Well, I'm also a floutist.
00:34:50Just eat less beans.
00:34:55Have you seen this one?
00:34:58I don't think so.
00:35:00Oh, it's really good.
00:35:04Your next appointment?
00:35:07Yeah?
00:35:08What are you guys doing?
00:35:10It's just Kyle.
00:35:11He asked about me?
00:35:12No.
00:35:13Well, has he mentioned me?
00:35:14No.
00:35:15What do you want?
00:35:16What are you guys doing?
00:35:18Renting videos.
00:35:19What?
00:35:21I can't believe you're going along.
00:35:22Sick.
00:35:24I'm in a video store, so I can't really talk right now.
00:35:27Franto!
00:35:28Hey.
00:35:29I'm at Debbie Milford's.
00:35:30Am I going to have to hang overnight here?
00:35:32Renting a video is code for having sex.
00:35:35You're paranoid.
00:35:36Renting a video?
00:35:38So I am staying the night.
00:35:40Gwen, he's so cute.
00:35:43What else is going to happen?
00:35:44Two gay men sitting on a couch.
00:35:46Boring movie.
00:35:47Raging.
00:35:48Hard-ons.
00:35:49It's the code.
00:35:49You rent a video, you get laid.
00:35:53Dude, you said there was no such thing as gay speech.
00:35:56Well, I was wrong.
00:35:56Do not go home with him.
00:35:58Gwen's going to be there.
00:35:59Only if she's a bad fag hag.
00:36:01Gwen, honey.
00:36:02Your turn.
00:36:04Just a second.
00:36:06Take your time, sweetie.
00:36:08We have all night long.
00:36:09Caleb, this is so not cool.
00:36:11Nothing's going to happen.
00:36:13Plus, I can tell Gwen's enemy.
00:36:15It's working.
00:36:15Of course she's into you.
00:36:17You're gay.
00:36:17Shut the fuck up.
00:36:21God, Gwen.
00:36:22He is so...
00:36:24Well, sweetie, if you don't scroll, will you please, please, please call me so I can come home?
00:36:29Okay.
00:36:30Swear on your Simon Rex jack-off video?
00:36:32No fair.
00:36:33Look, don't you get vicarious now.
00:36:35If she's not home, then I'm out of there.
00:36:37Keep your hands off my man.
00:36:40I'm hanging up.
00:36:42Okay, he's getting off.
00:36:49So, have you seen any of these?
00:36:58Gwen?
00:37:01Gwen?
00:37:01Gwen?
00:37:05Hm.
00:37:06I thought she'd be back by now.
00:37:12Well, at least we have the place to ourselves.
00:37:15Go ahead.
00:37:16Make yourself at home.
00:37:18And when I say that, I mean take off all your clothes and roll around on the floor.
00:37:25Gwen?
00:37:26Oh, trust me.
00:37:27If she were here, she'd be all up in our pubes.
00:37:34So...
00:37:36Video?
00:37:39Huh?
00:37:41You know, that thing we rented.
00:37:43Oh, yeah.
00:37:44Okay.
00:37:45Well, we could watch it.
00:37:48Yeah.
00:37:51Or...
00:37:53Or...
00:37:53Or we could not watch it.
00:37:59Oh.
00:38:02It's up to you.
00:38:03I'm cool either way.
00:38:28It's all right.
00:38:28It's all right.
00:38:48And that was really good.
00:38:51Yeah.
00:38:55So, uh...
00:38:56Gwen's still not back yet, huh?
00:38:58She usually is by now.
00:39:02It's getting late.
00:39:03Yeah, I'm getting tired too.
00:39:07Yeah, I should probably...
00:39:12Yeah.
00:39:18Hello?
00:39:19You answered, you fuck!
00:39:21Gwen!
00:39:22What's going on?
00:39:23Because if you were fucking, you wouldn't be answering.
00:39:25And if you're not fucking, then you should be calling me, telling me I can fucking come home!
00:39:30Yeah, Caleb's here. We just watched a video.
00:39:33You actually watched it?
00:39:35Look, Debbie had one of her breathing fits, so they put it on the floor.
00:39:38They put me in her dead grandma's room.
00:39:41It's really creepy in here.
00:39:44Uh, we thought you'd be back by now.
00:39:46Ha fucking ha!
00:39:48I'm dying la moire de loca here.
00:39:50Yeah, maybe he can stay and we can all three hang out some.
00:39:54So you're that desperate.
00:39:55Hasn't anyone made a move yet?
00:39:57Yeah, the movie was great.
00:40:00God. Mark, let me talk to him.
00:40:03What?
00:40:03Put him on. Let me get the balls rolling.
00:40:07Um, she wants to talk to you.
00:40:11Really?
00:40:12Yeah.
00:40:13Here he is.
00:40:15Mark, don't fucking waste this.
00:40:20Hello?
00:40:22Hi, Caleb.
00:40:24How was the date?
00:40:28Um...
00:40:28Oh, I guess you can't answer because he's right there.
00:40:31Yeah.
00:40:33Okay.
00:40:34Let's play a game.
00:40:37Do you want to play with me?
00:40:38Okay, sure.
00:40:40I'll try to figure it all out while you just say yes or no, okay?
00:40:45Yes.
00:40:46Good start.
00:40:50Have you done anything?
00:40:52No.
00:40:54Are you nervous?
00:40:56Yes, definitely.
00:40:58But are you excited?
00:41:02I guess.
00:41:04Very excited?
00:41:07I don't know.
00:41:10Could you get very excited?
00:41:14Yeah.
00:41:16Is this exciting you?
00:41:20Yes.
00:41:22I can make you less nervous.
00:41:24Close your eyes.
00:41:26Huh?
00:41:27Come on, just play along.
00:41:29Close your eyes.
00:41:32Okay.
00:41:34Closed?
00:41:35Yes.
00:41:37Tight?
00:41:39Yes.
00:41:40Now lean back.
00:41:45Very...
00:41:46slowly.
00:41:51Okay.
00:41:54Do you like my voice?
00:41:56Yes.
00:41:57It's comforting, isn't it?
00:42:00Yes.
00:42:01I like yours, too.
00:42:04It's sexy.
00:42:06Is mine sexy?
00:42:09Yes.
00:42:10Do you feel sexy?
00:42:18Yeah.
00:42:20Now, just feel your heart pumping the blood through your body.
00:42:28I can feel mine.
00:42:31Can you feel it?
00:42:34Yes.
00:42:35Feel it traveling from your heart through your chest, up and down, your arms, legs, and your fingers and toes?
00:42:54Can you feel it?
00:42:56Yes.
00:42:57Is it going faster?
00:42:59Yes.
00:43:01Is it getting warmer?
00:43:03Yes.
00:43:06What kind of shirt are you wearing?
00:43:09Um...
00:43:10I mean, is it a pullover?
00:43:13No.
00:43:14Does it button up?
00:43:17Yes.
00:43:18Do you want to unbutton it?
00:43:22Yes.
00:43:23Open the top button.
00:43:26Okay.
00:43:28Keep your eyes closed.
00:43:31Is it open?
00:43:33Yeah.
00:43:34Are your eyes still closed?
00:43:36Yeah.
00:43:38I want you to breathe with me.
00:43:41Try and match my breathing, okay?
00:43:44Okay.
00:44:02Hey, man.
00:44:04Oh, sorry.
00:44:06You scared me, man.
00:44:08Caleb, what's going on?
00:44:10Uh, nothing.
00:44:13Did Mark touch you?
00:44:15Yeah.
00:44:17Did he hurt you?
00:44:20No.
00:44:21Did it feel good?
00:44:25I don't know. This is embarrassing, man.
00:44:27Yes or no, did it feel good?
00:44:31I don't know.
00:44:32Lie down, Caleb.
00:44:35What are you doing?
00:44:36Do you want me to hang up?
00:44:38No, no.
00:44:39Are you lying down?
00:44:47Yes.
00:44:48Eyes closed?
00:44:54Yes.
00:44:57It's okay, you're a virgin.
00:44:59I'm not going to let anything happen that you don't want, okay?
00:45:03Okay.
00:45:04You want to stop you to say so, okay?
00:45:07Okay.
00:45:09Do you want me to hang up?
00:45:11No.
00:45:13Okay.
00:45:16Breathe slowly.
00:45:20Deeply.
00:45:23Just like before.
00:45:28Is your shirt still open?
00:45:31Yes.
00:45:35Ask Mark to massage your neck.
00:45:41Go on.
00:45:44Go on.
00:45:44Go on.
00:45:46Mark.
00:45:49Uh-huh.
00:45:52Will you massage my neck?
00:45:54Please.
00:45:55Please?
00:45:59Don't open your eyes now.
00:46:01I want your entire world to be only my voice.
00:46:05Okay.
00:46:05My voice in his hands.
00:46:13Is he doing it?
00:46:16Yeah.
00:46:18Does it feel good?
00:46:23Yeah.
00:46:25He used to do that to me.
00:46:27Feels really good.
00:46:33Yeah.
00:46:36Keep breathing with me.
00:46:41Do you like hearing my breathing?
00:46:44Yes.
00:46:45It's kinky, isn't it?
00:46:48Yes.
00:46:50Are you turned on?
00:46:53Yeah.
00:46:54I'm so turned on.
00:46:56Do you mind?
00:46:58No.
00:47:00Do you want me to stay on the phone?
00:47:02Yeah.
00:47:04Are you hard?
00:47:07Yes.
00:47:10What's he doing?
00:47:12Kissing my neck.
00:47:14Does it feel good?
00:47:16Yes.
00:47:18Is his mouth warm?
00:47:20Oh, yeah.
00:47:23Tell him to unbutton your shirt.
00:47:26Unbutton my shirt.
00:47:28Please.
00:47:30Please.
00:47:39Is he doing it?
00:47:43Does it feel good?
00:47:46Yeah.
00:47:47Oh.
00:47:49Caleb.
00:47:50Yeah?
00:47:52Are you still excited?
00:47:54Yeah.
00:47:56What's he doing to you?
00:47:58Oh.
00:48:01Licking my stomach.
00:48:03Does it turn you on?
00:48:05Yes.
00:48:07Tell him to unbutton your pants.
00:48:10But.
00:48:11You're having fun, aren't you?
00:48:13Yeah.
00:48:15Do you want to lose your virginity with me?
00:48:20Yeah.
00:48:22You're raging hard, aren't you?
00:48:25Yes.
00:48:26A nice, wet mouth would feel so good right now, wouldn't it?
00:48:33Oh, yeah.
00:48:35Tell him to unbutton your pants.
00:48:37Unbutton my pants.
00:48:38Please.
00:48:39Please.
00:48:44Okay, Caleb.
00:48:46I really want to make you feel good.
00:48:50Do you want to feel good?
00:48:51Yeah.
00:48:53Say it.
00:48:54I want to feel good.
00:48:56Beg for it.
00:48:58Make me feel good.
00:49:01Please.
00:49:10What's he doing?
00:49:12His mouth.
00:49:14Is he sucking you off?
00:49:16Uh, yeah.
00:49:18You like that?
00:49:19Um, yeah.
00:49:24Does it feel good?
00:49:25Yeah.
00:49:27Do you want him to stop?
00:49:28No.
00:49:29Do you want to come?
00:49:31Oh, yes.
00:49:32Oh, my God.
00:49:34Oh, fuck.
00:49:36Jesus.
00:49:37Do you want me to come?
00:49:39Oh, yeah.
00:49:40I'm gonna come.
00:49:41Yeah.
00:49:41I'm gonna come.
00:49:45Fuck.
00:49:45Fuck!
00:50:07Let me get you a towel.
00:50:16So how was your first time?
00:50:19Fuck.
00:50:23I don't even know.
00:50:25Did it weird you out to have a girl on the phone?
00:50:30No, not at all.
00:50:34You're kinky.
00:50:36I like you.
00:50:40I like you too. You're dirty.
00:50:43I'm filthy.
00:50:47Where's Mark?
00:50:49Getting a towel.
00:50:51Did he come?
00:50:53I don't know.
00:50:56Well, it's safe for me to come home now anyhow.
00:51:00I'll be there soon.
00:51:02Okay.
00:51:03Goodbye.
00:51:12Here.
00:51:14Thanks.
00:51:20Mind if I get off?
00:51:24Huh?
00:51:26I can take care of myself.
00:51:28Just sit there.
00:51:41Uh, so Gwen said she's on her way.
00:51:50I like your TV set up. It's really high tech and stuff.
00:51:55What the hell?
00:51:56Ah.
00:52:00Ahh.
00:52:01Ah, ha, ha, ha.
00:52:03Ah.
00:52:06Ah.
00:52:08Ah.
00:52:10Ah.
00:52:13Ah.
00:52:17I didn't do anything.
00:52:20You did good.
00:52:23You want this?
00:52:31You, uh, got it pretty wet.
00:52:34I don't normally...
00:52:36What?
00:52:40You make that much?
00:52:43I should go.
00:52:46Yeah, sure.
00:52:49Thanks.
00:52:52Yeah, you're welcome.
00:52:55I'll call you.
00:52:58Yeah, call me.
00:53:11I'm gonna be very clear.
00:53:15I know you didn't know it.
00:53:17I know I'm such a fool.
00:53:19You weren't even there.
00:53:23But I was with you.
00:53:27Visions of you.
00:53:29Dancing with me.
00:53:31Drive safe.
00:53:34You too.
00:53:36Visions of you.
00:53:38Do you see what I do?
00:53:41I'm dreaming up wishes.
00:53:43Wishing on dreams.
00:53:45You're living with visions of you.
00:53:57Visions of you...
00:54:01Visions of you.
00:54:02Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
00:54:08Here's your kiss.
00:54:11Here's your lips.
00:54:12So perfectly, so perfectly.
00:54:18Here's your kiss.
00:54:23Here's your kiss.
00:54:37Wish I had your cell.
00:54:38I would have called instead of stopping.
00:54:40No, I'm glad you stopped.
00:54:42You want myself?
00:54:43Absolutely.
00:54:44Let me get mine.
00:54:48Let's fast forward through the small talk.
00:54:50I want to know how it went.
00:54:55You just made it with your first guy.
00:55:04Aren't you happy?
00:55:06I'm confused.
00:55:09Didn't it feel good?
00:55:14Oh, shit.
00:55:16I was too pushy.
00:55:23Honey, Mark's a good guy.
00:55:25The best.
00:55:27You're in good hands.
00:55:30It's just too much to-
00:55:31Too soon?
00:55:33No, it's not that.
00:55:34It's just that-
00:55:35We're just people.
00:55:36Just bodies with organic needs.
00:55:39We need satisfaction.
00:55:41We shouldn't deny our bodies.
00:55:48Are you turned on?
00:55:50No.
00:55:51That's just like-
00:55:53You're still turned on.
00:55:55You've had a boner since you left Mark.
00:55:58No.
00:55:59Don't be embarrassed.
00:56:01That's what happens the first time you do it.
00:56:03You just want to do it again.
00:56:10Do you mind me doing this?
00:56:12No.
00:56:17How about this?
00:56:24Well, I mean, don't you think we should-
00:56:28You know, we're in public.
00:56:30I think it's sexy that you're worried about Mark.
00:56:33But it seems to me that he didn't do his job.
00:56:43Calm down.
00:56:44No.
00:56:45It's just that-
00:56:46Suck that.
00:56:47Don't give me any of that strictly gay shit.
00:56:52Who needs friends that won't fuck friends?
00:56:57You little gay boy.
00:57:00Yeah.
00:57:03That's your perineum.
00:57:05You're such a fag.
00:57:09Why are you back so late?
00:57:11Can we talk about this in the morning?
00:57:12Caleb, fucking A, what happened?
00:57:14Did you do it with Gwen?
00:57:16Sort of.
00:57:17Well, did you talk about me?
00:57:20Caleb!
00:57:22Hello?
00:57:56Good morning.
00:57:57Uh, wait for the beep.
00:57:59Tell me something I don't know.
00:58:01This is for Caleb.
00:58:03You're probably sleeping.
00:58:05I just wanted to say I had a great time last night.
00:58:07Really.
00:58:07So, I just wanted to call because lots of guys have a thing about calling where you don't call and
00:58:12kind of just wait and see who calls first.
00:58:14And, well, I didn't wanna.
00:58:16Geez, I sound really stupid.
00:58:19Anyway, call me.
00:58:22Okay, bye.
00:58:23What the fuck?
00:58:26Shit.
00:58:29Kyle, I'm sorry.
00:58:30It...
00:58:31Fuck you.
00:58:37Kyle, it's not what you think.
00:58:43Uh, wait for the beep.
00:58:45Tell me something.
00:58:46Hello?
00:58:47Oh, shit.
00:58:48It's Mark.
00:58:49I'm sorry.
00:58:50Did I wake you?
00:58:52No, I just got your message.
00:58:55God, I feel like a stalker.
00:58:57I just realized I didn't leave my number and thought I'd call and leave it on your machine.
00:59:00I didn't think you'd answer.
00:59:03No, that's fine.
00:59:05Well, it's nice to talk to you anyhow.
00:59:08I'm sorry, were you busy?
00:59:09No, just...recovering.
00:59:25You must be one fuck over fuck.
00:59:36That was him.
00:59:41Mark's the asshole type.
00:59:44He normally fucks and moves on, but I guess with you, I mean...
00:59:48Who wouldn't wanna...
00:59:51keep you around?
00:59:55How could you fucking do this to me?
00:59:58It's not fair.
01:00:00It's not like you two...
01:00:00You don't even know, do you?
01:00:03You're so stupid.
01:00:06I invited them over for dinner.
01:00:10Here?
01:00:13Great.
01:00:14You just wanna make out in front of me?
01:00:16Wanna screw in my bed?
01:00:19I invited Gwen too.
01:00:21We're all gonna sit down and tell the truth.
01:00:25And just...just...just what?
01:00:28Huh?
01:00:30Things are so simple in your simple little world, aren't they?
01:00:36Well, it doesn't work that way, Caleb.
01:00:39Things are more complicated than just sitting around telling people how you really feel.
01:00:44I'm just trying to fix things here, okay?
01:00:46Well, you're doing a Fabio job so far.
01:00:51Just say you'll come to dinner.
01:00:56Okay?
01:00:58Fine.
01:01:00I'll be there with balls on.
01:01:04You're not planning on cooking, are you?
01:01:07Well, I wasn't gonna ask, but since you brought it up...
01:01:10Fine.
01:01:11I'll cook.
01:01:20I'm not that stupid.
01:01:22I do know.
01:01:26If I work eight, even a little...
01:01:30It'd be you.
01:01:54All right, I won't go.
01:01:56Tell him I have consumption.
01:01:58I shouldn't have done that last night.
01:02:02It was hot.
01:02:04It was fucked up.
01:02:07You should have seen him.
01:02:08He flew out of here like a Seminole Meat Loaf album.
01:02:11He seemed to like it on the phone.
01:02:16That's what's so fucked up about it.
01:02:20Are you jealous?
01:02:23Are you jealous?
01:02:23No.
01:02:24You're jealous?
01:02:26I am not.
01:02:28This is so great.
01:02:31It's finally the other way around.
01:02:33Do you know how many boys have fucked me just to get to you?
01:02:37Shut up.
01:02:39You're scared I could be part of you.
01:02:43Maybe I just will.
01:02:44I need to practice.
01:02:46I'll take that as a challenge.
01:02:49I can't hear you, babe.
01:02:51I know something you don't know.
01:03:01What the hell are you making?
01:03:04Sausages.
01:03:04Big.
01:03:05Fat.
01:03:06Sausages.
01:03:08Dude, people don't eat sausages.
01:03:09You're supposed to make like spaghetti or some shit.
01:03:11Fine.
01:03:12You wanna cook?
01:03:13No.
01:03:14I mean, I've never seen you make sausages before.
01:03:17I'm trying something new.
01:03:19It wasn't too much.
01:03:20Well, I invited some friends over too.
01:03:22Go get the door.
01:03:23This isn't a kigger, bro.
01:03:24This is like serious.
01:03:26Who did you invite?
01:03:27Like they said to Anne Frank,
01:03:29why don't you answer the door and find out?
01:03:33Oh, geez, it's just you guys.
01:03:39I brought this for you.
01:03:42Cool, it's yellow.
01:03:47And some wine.
01:03:49Oh.
01:03:50Awesome, all we got is beer.
01:03:52Cool.
01:03:56This is the part where you invite us in.
01:03:58Oh, geez.
01:03:59I'm sorry.
01:04:00Come in.
01:04:01Kyle's in the kitchen.
01:04:04Honey, this is how you do it.
01:04:07Ha ha.
01:04:10Funny.
01:04:11I get it.
01:04:13So, Caleb, Mark thinks that...
01:04:17Mark?
01:04:19Did you offer them beverages?
01:04:21Oh, you want some?
01:04:22I'll pour some drinks.
01:04:24Will you show me where the glasses are?
01:04:29So, what do you think?
01:04:32Oh.
01:04:33I think, um...
01:04:36I think you're a really nice guy.
01:04:39That's all.
01:04:41Thanks.
01:04:42I gotta go to the head.
01:04:47We need to talk.
01:04:48Dude!
01:04:51I'm only being honest.
01:04:53Nah, I gotta talk about an hour.
01:04:55I'm taking a leak.
01:04:57Please, I've seen it.
01:04:58How you doing, Link?
01:05:00My God, what are those?
01:05:02Dinner.
01:05:04Is this some kind of ethnic thing?
01:05:07Mark.
01:05:09I think you're really cool.
01:05:11What?
01:05:14What?
01:05:18Is there something with you and Kyle?
01:05:20No, it's definitely not that.
01:05:22Nice to meet you.
01:05:23Oh, shit.
01:05:26Don't say anything.
01:05:28Okay?
01:05:29What's wrong?
01:05:37Mom.
01:05:37Hi, Mom.
01:05:38Dad.
01:05:39Jamie.
01:05:41Oh, this is Mark.
01:05:42Mark, my family.
01:05:43I was just showing Mark the flusher thing.
01:05:45It's broken.
01:05:46Yeah, the Bobby thingy.
01:05:47It has to stay on top.
01:05:48It's called the ball cock.
01:05:51Well, nice to meet you, Mark.
01:05:53Are you gay?
01:05:54It's rude.
01:05:56Oh, please.
01:05:57I don't mind.
01:05:58Kyle, I think you need my help in the kitchen.
01:06:03I'm gonna circumcise your fucking neck.
01:06:10Alright, look.
01:06:11I know this looks fucked up.
01:06:12You're gonna look fucked up.
01:06:13But we can't do it your way.
01:06:14We can't just tell them.
01:06:15They won't give either one of us the time of day.
01:06:17I just had much at stake here, okay?
01:06:19Kyle.
01:06:19Those are my fucking parents.
01:06:22This is my life, you know?
01:06:23My real life.
01:06:23Calm down.
01:06:24Just calm down, alright?
01:06:27Uh, Gwen, Mark, could you guys come in here for a sec?
01:06:33Well, that's us.
01:06:41Okay, what's the Kim deal?
01:06:42Okay, Caleb's not out to his parents yet.
01:06:44No shit.
01:06:46Of course they don't know.
01:06:48Should we leave?
01:06:49No, I think that would look too weird.
01:06:50It already looks pretty fucking weird.
01:06:52No, no, no.
01:06:52I got it worked out.
01:06:53Gwen, pretend to be with Caleb, and Mark can be...
01:06:58my date.
01:07:00What?
01:07:01Just until dinner.
01:07:02You know, until after they leave, and then everything is back to normal.
01:07:04Everything cool in there, dudes?
01:07:06Very cool, Mrs. Peterson!
01:07:09Now you...
01:07:11sit...
01:07:12next to Caleb...
01:07:13and Mark...
01:07:16with Mark.
01:07:19Oh.
01:07:20I get it.
01:07:21Well, if you need anything...
01:07:22let's go meet Mr. and Mrs. Roper.
01:07:24Peterson.
01:07:30So those were very interesting sausages, Kyle.
01:07:35What flavor exactly is white jello?
01:07:37Oh, it's just the way that's...
01:07:38You know what it looks like?
01:07:39It looks like...
01:07:40So when did you meet this lovely young lady?
01:07:44Uh...
01:07:44at a party last week.
01:07:45Right after the Tiffany ordeal?
01:07:49Tiffany...
01:07:49You never mentioned Tiffany.
01:07:51Tiffany was a bitch.
01:07:53I liked her.
01:07:54She was cute.
01:07:55You...
01:07:55So how did you meet each other?
01:07:57Was it across a crowded room?
01:07:59Uh...
01:08:00She was screaming and I saw her.
01:08:02Screaming?
01:08:03I was so surprised he wasn't gay.
01:08:07You must get that a lot, hun.
01:08:09I mean, living with Kyle and your haircut.
01:08:12So Mark, when did you meet Kyle?
01:08:14I hope we're not being too personal.
01:08:17Kyle's like a second son to us.
01:08:18Or a daughter.
01:08:21It's a small world, young lady.
01:08:23I know.
01:08:24Celebrate our diversity.
01:08:26We met at the same party.
01:08:32What's this music?
01:08:34It's really good.
01:08:35I don't know.
01:08:36It's Kyle's shit.
01:08:37Oh.
01:08:39Who is this Kyle?
01:08:40Oh, it's mine.
01:08:42My old stuff, but...
01:08:44My new stuff's better.
01:08:46Kyle's a composer.
01:08:47Didn't he mention it?
01:08:49No, he hasn't mentioned much.
01:08:52What?
01:08:53Isn't his work beautiful?
01:08:55Yeah, it's...
01:08:56It's nice.
01:08:58You in the music school?
01:08:59Yeah.
01:09:00I never noticed you around.
01:09:03Well, you're classical, I'm jazz.
01:09:05You know how they are.
01:09:06Yeah.
01:09:11Well, this is really good.
01:09:13It's always nice to know what's going on in your lives, boys.
01:09:17But isn't it a little early to be meeting the parents?
01:09:20I mean, you hardly seem to know each other.
01:09:23I just thought this would be nice, you know, all of us together.
01:09:26One big family.
01:09:27Better than Springer.
01:09:30Is there something you want to tell us?
01:09:33We're here for you, son.
01:09:36I just wanted to have dinner, no interior motive.
01:09:40Ulterior.
01:09:40I knew that.
01:09:43Shit, now who?
01:09:44I didn't invite anyone else, honest.
01:09:54I hear you have phone trouble, Miss Thing.
01:09:58That's Mr. Miss Thing to you.
01:10:02Tiffany?
01:10:04You.
01:10:05Little.
01:10:06Hose.
01:10:07Hover.
01:10:08Why don't you come join us?
01:10:10Go, Miss Morticia and Little Wednesday.
01:10:12I'm sure this would be awkward for Gwen.
01:10:15I don't mind.
01:10:16I want to see this.
01:10:33You know, you guys seem really nice.
01:10:38Oh my God, Gwen, don't.
01:10:40Caleb, honey, I'm going to do you a really big favor.
01:10:43Oh, shit.
01:10:44You'll hate me now, but you'll love me later.
01:10:46Gwen, please.
01:10:47Shit.
01:10:48Mr. and Mrs. Peterson, your son is gay.
01:10:57Fag, you're it.
01:11:00I turned him gay, but I can turn him back.
01:11:02No fag facts.
01:11:04Please, with that word.
01:11:05Mark and Caleb are boyfriends, and I'm just Mark's roommate.
01:11:10You're a reality show without a camera crew.
01:11:22We're not boyfriends yet. We've only been on one date.
01:11:25I told you.
01:11:27Son, how did we manifest our homophobia?
01:11:31Must have been horrible living with us.
01:11:33Straight this, straight that.
01:11:35I'm sorry you needed all of this to face us.
01:11:38I'll call Tammy at P-Flog first thing.
01:11:41We'll go to meetings.
01:11:44Jamie, hon, is there something you wanted to tell us?
01:11:47I don't think I'm a lesbo.
01:11:49I experimented once.
01:11:53Son,
01:11:55give me a hug.
01:12:03Caleb.
01:12:04Hug your father.
01:12:15You're still my son, and I love you.
01:12:18I love you.
01:12:19This is so beautiful.
01:12:20Barf, you should see them on anniversaries.
01:12:23I love you, Caleb.
01:12:25I love you, Mom.
01:12:26I love you, Dad.
01:12:28Come on, family hug.
01:12:33Love you, gay bro.
01:12:36Come on.
01:12:37I said family hug.
01:12:38We're all family here.
01:12:40Well, come on.
01:12:44Oh, what the fuck?
01:12:45It's okay.
01:13:01But I'm mad.
01:13:11I'm so proud of you, son.
01:13:14Take good care of my boy.
01:13:16Yes, sir, Mr. Peterson.
01:13:18I bet he will.
01:13:19I bet he will, too.
01:13:22No offense, Kyle.
01:13:23Next time we're eating out.
01:13:26Come on, hon.
01:13:27Let's go.
01:13:27Back to Stepford.
01:13:35Do you think I'm stupid?
01:13:37No.
01:13:38Not you, hon.
01:13:40Kyle, I know what's going on.
01:13:41You're acting like a baby.
01:13:43I didn't think that you were...
01:13:44Well, it's time to make a change in your lifestyle.
01:13:47Okay, babe.
01:13:48This is one of the reasons I get called a bitch.
01:13:50Because I tell it like it is.
01:13:54Kyle, reality.
01:13:56Reality, Kyle.
01:13:58You are not in Mark's league.
01:14:00I mean, you're not a total K-9, but you are a K-5.
01:14:05Gwen, come off it.
01:14:06Mark's not a K at all.
01:14:08Your chances of ever scoring with someone like Mark?
01:14:12Zero.
01:14:13Nothing.
01:14:14El nacho.
01:14:15Gwen, stop.
01:14:15Live with it.
01:14:16Move on.
01:14:35What?
01:14:36He pulled a dirty fucking trick.
01:14:37That was harsh.
01:14:38Well, would you?
01:14:40Would you, Mark Everhart, ever go out with Kyle...
01:14:45What's his nuts?
01:14:48Maybe.
01:14:51She's right.
01:14:52You wouldn't ever.
01:14:53I would, too.
01:14:54You don't know me.
01:14:55He is not a nice person.
01:14:57He was trying to split you guys up.
01:14:59I blame him and those who harbor him.
01:15:02You can't possibly be that stupid.
01:15:04You don't belong to a frat.
01:15:05I'm not stupid.
01:15:10Look, go talk to him.
01:15:13Kyle, he's a really nice person.
01:15:15He's amazing.
01:15:17Then why aren't you with him?
01:15:19I would be in a second, but...
01:15:23But what?
01:15:24I'm listening.
01:15:25It's complicated.
01:15:27Christ, now you're talking like a straight guy.
01:15:32Um...
01:15:33Oh, shit.
01:15:38You fucking heterosexual liar!
01:15:41Gwen, I'm sorry.
01:15:42You pretended to be gay?
01:15:44I had sex with my best friend?
01:15:46Came out to your parents just so you could fuck me?
01:15:54I guess.
01:15:56I can't believe I let you fuck me.
01:15:59You fucked her?
01:15:59You fucked him?
01:16:04That's the sweetest thing that anyone's ever done for me!
01:16:11I'm really sorry, dude.
01:16:14Hey, someday I'll look back on all this and think it was really hot.
01:16:21Me too.
01:16:25Talk to him.
01:16:28Hey, if you hurt him, I will seriously fuck with your shit.
01:16:33Back at you with her.
01:16:35Oh, please.
01:16:36Fuck all y'all's shit.
01:16:47Go away.
01:16:50Caleb, it's me.
01:16:53Oh.
01:16:57May I?
01:17:00Sure.
01:17:05So, I guess Caleb told you...
01:17:08Yeah.
01:17:10I guess he and Gwen are...
01:17:12Yeah.
01:17:15Okay, listen, I don't...
01:17:16I don't think I can handle a Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, let's be friends speech.
01:17:22Good.
01:17:24Because I don't know one.
01:17:28I knew your name was Kyle.
01:17:30Huh?
01:17:33At the party.
01:17:35I called you Kevin, but...
01:17:37I knew you were Kyle.
01:17:43And...
01:17:45I knew you were in the music school.
01:17:50Why do you do that shit?
01:17:53I don't know.
01:17:54I guess it's kind of fucked up.
01:17:57Damn straight.
01:17:59Why stop at one?
01:18:04I do know why I do it.
01:18:06It sounds stupid.
01:18:08Why?
01:18:14To make you want me.
01:18:16That is stupid.
01:18:18It's true.
01:18:20Isn't it painfully obvious?
01:18:24What, by the way, you always look away whenever I walk into a room and whisper something to your friends
01:18:29the second you think I'm not paying attention?
01:18:33What, by the way, you always come up and talk to Gwen and not me?
01:18:37Come on.
01:18:39You're too good for me.
01:18:41Like they said, you know how the system works.
01:18:43The system sucks.
01:18:45Life is so good.
01:18:47Life is so good.
01:18:50And you remind me of someone I want used to be.
01:18:57I've always loved your music.
01:19:03I went to your recital.
01:19:07They told me someone came.
01:19:14Please tell me you like to kiss.
01:19:17I love it.
01:19:22Okay, so I know I might just be a rebound or a really shitty cancellation prize or you're just really
01:19:27looking for an ego boost, but whatever it is, I'll take it.
01:19:32You're so good.
01:19:45You're so good.
01:19:49Does that turn you on as much as it does me?
01:19:53Huh?
01:19:54I thought so.
01:20:01I thought so.
01:20:32I thought so.
01:20:38I thought so.
01:22:23Visions of you, do you see what I do?
01:22:28I'm dreaming of wishes, wishing of dreams.
01:22:32You're living with visions of you.
01:23:05I think everybody's gone now.
01:23:17I think everybody's gone now.
01:23:37I think everybody's gone now.
Comentarios