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00:06If I had to worry about what people thought about my life, though, I don't think I would
00:10ever function. I mean, I worry about what people think, and then I do whatever I'm going to do
00:15anyway. I love this picture. Carrie is already spunky and crazy and wonderful.
00:33This is a gorgeous picture of her. This was a good night, a really good night.
00:44She looked at me and I said, well, there's always the ocean, and she said, boom, I'm in
00:48there. I'm standing here with my entire life behind me and the rest of my life in front
00:54of me.
00:59The first time that Carrie talked about what it felt like to be bipolar was actually on
01:06this trip.
01:11This is cool. She essentially said, this is Princess Leia. I am Princess Leia. Deal with
01:17everything. At one point, she started using again. You know, she put her body through a
01:26lie. I'd rather lead a life than follow one around. Carrie became brilliant in her own way.
01:38She found her own greatness. I actually have a good time pretty much all the time. I go skipping
01:44down the street. It's just ill-making.
02:11We are on Greenway Drive in Beverly Hills and of course, the
02:16where but Hollywood would Carrie have been born to the extremely fabulous and wonderful
02:24best friend of mine, Debbie Reynolds, her mom. I happen to be in front of Debbie Reynolds' old
02:32house, but it looks so different. It's been a lot of years since I was last in this house.
02:41This is a photograph of Debbie and little Todd and little Carrie. Carrie in this
02:51picture looks like the Carrie she grew up to be. Sparkling, very funny. Her humor had a
02:58little bit of a twist to it. She always had that from her very youth, but she looks adorable.
03:19Carrie Frances Fisher was born in 1956 to Hollywood royalty.
03:29I love this picture because it shows the real Debbie Reynolds and Carrie with her doll in her lap
03:37is already full of piss and vinegar. I mean, this girl grew up that way. She was spunky and crazy
03:44and
03:45wonderful. Debbie and Carrie are in mom and daughter look-alike costumes with the no sleeve and a little
03:55scoop neck in a pretty, it looks like a lavender pattern. And Todd looks like a miniature little
04:02sailor boy. I'm thinking maybe it was for a life magazine or a look magazine shoot because Debbie was hounded
04:12morning, noon and night by the magazines to show pictures of the kids. Carrie Fisher had the great fortune,
04:22perhaps in the end. Perhaps in the end, the misfortune, I don't know, of being born to two world-famous
04:28young
04:28people. There's another treat for the movie fans, the appearance of newlyweds Eddie Fisher and Debbie Reynolds.
04:35Eddie Fisher was the singer of the century at the time, and Debbie Reynolds was known by then, well, for
04:44so many
04:45movies. But singing in the rain is what made her a huge star.
04:53They were, it seemed like the ideal family.
04:59But by 1961, the family of four had become three.
05:07Three years earlier, the press revealed Eddie Fisher was having an affair with film star Elizabeth Taylor.
05:17This ideal marriage that everybody thought in the world that they had, had suddenly crashed.
05:24But then, who could resist Elizabeth Taylor?
05:32This was just the most enormous tabloid shock of its day.
05:37It was Bradgelina times ten. And of course, it had an effect on the very young Carrie.
05:46I was completely in love with my father. I didn't have a proper father-daughter relationship with him.
05:52I knew he was my father, but he wasn't like a parent.
05:57Debbie and her children were knotted together, the three strands tied together beautifully.
06:06Carrie learned from Debbie how to handle and deal with people.
06:12She learned how to handle the media and press. I don't know where she learned, but she really wound
06:21up with a very smart mouth. If there's one thing we knew, we knew that Carrie was a precocious child.
06:31Carrie was an unusual child, my mother used to say.
06:38Later on, Carrie was a prolific reader. She just had this appetite for literature and read,
06:45and would sit up and read an entire book over the course of an evening.
06:48I saw one time she was reading War and Peace, and she would try to share stuff with me,
06:52and I'd be like, what the hell? Who cares about that?
07:00Carrie and I spent most of our childhood going back and forth to Vegas, because if you wanted
07:05to find my mother, you pretty much had to come to Vegas.
07:09My mother opened the Desert Inn showroom. She was the opening act.
07:14And eventually, my mother decided to be cute for the summer vacation,
07:18for the kids to come and be in the Vegas act.
07:33We're looking at a photograph of my mother, my sister, and I, the very first time that Carrie
07:38and I ever performed on stage with my mom at the Desert Inn Hotel. It looks like 1971,
07:44so I would have been 13. Carrie would have been 14. My mother knew how to put on a show.
07:50You know, it was a classy time in Vegas. People wanted to go out and have a night and see
07:56a star.
07:58This is the time when Sinatra is in his heyday. Elvis is performing.
08:03My mother had been building this show around
08:05and we found us coming out for 10 or 15 minutes, doing a little medley of songs.
08:10We have been practicing and practicing, and finally it gets to be opening night.
08:16We were standing just off in the wings, waiting for my mother to bring us out for the first number.
08:21And of course, it started with the music cue.
08:27But Carrie starts to panic.
08:32And she was really frazzled. I mean, like, like, stressing. You know, I could feel her energy.
08:39I mean, she was frozen.
08:43She was behind me and she's like, I don't know if I can do this.
08:49So I kind of dragged her out on stage. Now you're looking at this picture, you couldn't tell it,
08:53because by the point this picture is taken, she's getting into it. But that first moment,
08:58stepping out on that stage, she was panicked.
09:02In a way, it was something that would continue with her. There's like a tenseness, nervousness.
09:07My mother didn't really understand it. So she never felt that pressure. But Carrie obviously
09:13felt that pressure. The moment that the spotlights came on and the music started and she started to
09:19sing, it just went away. You know, all of a sudden she was just having fun. Carrie just felt the
09:27audience love her. So she was wanting to do more. She was a very active participant in what I will
09:34do and
09:35what I will not do. She was breaking out into her own self. But my mother made sure the training
09:42was
09:42there because this is when the voice lessons started and the acting lessons started. This is when it all starts.
09:52Aged 16, Carrie took on a larger role, performing with her mother in Manhattan.
10:01Debbie was starring in Irene on Broadway. And Carrie was in the chorus, in fact. And I saw her.
10:11There was always something about her that made her stand out, even though she was the baby of the
10:16group of chorus girls. There was a little magic to her somehow.
10:26So Carrie's life in New York would offer more than just professional opportunities.
10:37When I lived in New York with Carrie and her mother, Debbie, Carrie was 17. And she was just bubbling
10:47and
10:47thrilled with life at that time. It was a really fun time for both of us.
10:58One of our mutual philosophies was that on this planet, you can't be bored. And if you're bored,
11:08then you're boring.
11:11You know, we got in a little trouble, but nothing terrible.
11:15There was a place called Les Jardins. And it was for 21 and up. It was a gay bathhouse.
11:26And I mean, naked. It was just like falling down the rabbit hole into Wonderland. But we were not
11:34allowed to be there. We never got caught either. But we had a really good time.
11:46We were not allowed to be there. We were not allowed to be there.
11:47Oh, oh, my God. For this. That's the El Morocco Club. That is her 17th birthday party.
11:58This is a gorgeous picture of her. This was a good night. A really good night.
12:20Her mother rented out the entire El Morocco Club, which is an iconic club in New York City.
12:26And the world was there. It was pure joy. You know, it was just fun. Everybody was dressed to the
12:35nines.
12:36There was always like a uniform. And one of Carrie's uniforms were these berets that she would put brooches in.
12:45And this is a good one. She liked the weird and the bizarre and the unique.
12:53And I think that's what I loved about her. And she loved glitter. She was a glitter queen.
13:00So this whole thing with the little stone sparkling. It's very her.
13:07This night, I think she did a pose like this because she felt beautiful.
13:12Beautiful enough to do the whole model pose thing.
13:20I think she was very insecure about the way she looked.
13:24I always felt bad for her about that, you know, because as you can see from that photo, she was
13:31darling, you know.
13:34But can you imagine growing up with a mother like Debbie Reynolds? It's a lot to live up to.
13:42Carrie at this time started to be what I consider to be rebellious towards my mother to a greater degree.
13:51We always had a healthy debate. It was allowed. You know, in our family, you could disagree and it could
13:57be disagree permanently.
13:59We're sort of seeing them drifting apart, being more and more what was written off as rebellious, but it really
14:06wasn't all rebellious.
14:08She was really having these mood swings and no one knew what it was. No one knew to put a
14:14name on it.
14:19I saw a couple of behaviors in New York that were disturbing to me.
14:27She had an anger. I'm trying to word this in a way that will bring compassion rather than anything else.
14:39She went through a lot of pain, but at 17, did I think, oh, she's mentally ill? No.
14:50Looking back now that I'm wiser, I can absolutely see that germination of her mental illness.
15:04This was one of the last eras of her that I recall of her being really joyful.
15:12And I think she was excited to see what the future held for her. And boy, was it big.
15:21The attendance at Star Wars has been almost astronomic. Cues are still forming.
15:26In London, after a month, almost 600,000 flocked to see the film. An all-time record.
15:35After only a year at drama school, Carrie landed the role of Star Wars female lead, rebel leader, Princess Leia.
15:44I can say from my generation, we were starved of female heroines.
15:49And Leia was everything to me as a kid. She was this incredible, dominant, authoritative presence.
15:58She was funny. She was quick. And Carrie seemed to bring something of herself that meshed exactly with that character.
16:06She was the daughter of Hollywood royalty. She came from a background that sort of seemed to fit for Leia.
16:14Carrie, you play in this film what I might describe as a damsel in distress, but a very unusual one,
16:20in that you seem to be a very liberated, outspoken damsel. Is that what actually appealed to you about the
16:24part?
16:25Well, what appealed to me was that George Lucas, who wrote it and also directed it, didn't want a damsel
16:32in distress, didn't want your stereotypical princess, you know, sort of a victim, frightened, incapable of dealing with a situation
16:41without the guys.
16:43So he wanted a fighter. He wanted someone who was independent.
16:52This is cool.
17:07This is Carrie Fisher with Mark Hamill and Harrison Ford on the publicity tour for the very first Star Wars
17:14movie.
17:15So this was taken at the kind of the break room of the Denver Post in 1977, just after the
17:22film came out.
17:23It was already an immediate success, but it wasn't clear just how big it was going to be.
17:29So for a lot of journalists who were interviewing these three people, they were essentially three unknowns or near unknowns
17:35who were just doing the rounds.
17:38It's just a really kind of candid, off-guard moment.
17:44Mark looks very keen and sort of engaged and like he's trying to think up an answer.
17:49Harrison looks a little bit, I would say, warier and a little bit more reserved, which I think is typical
17:54of him.
17:56You know, it's funny in this picture because, you know, Carrie looks very young.
18:00She looks like a teenager.
18:01She was 20 here.
18:02She'd been about 19 when they were filming the movie.
18:04But you can see that kind of childish maybe unease.
18:07You know, the fact that she's folded up on herself is a little bit kind of protecting herself in terms
18:12of her body language.
18:13But she's also got her chin up.
18:15You know, she's projecting a certain air of confidence.
18:18She's projecting an idea that she deserves to be there among these two much bigger men on either side of
18:23her.
18:23There's not much evidence here of the affair that she and Harrison Ford had.
18:28They would work together all week, treat each other as professional colleagues.
18:32And then at the weekends, they would go to his house or her apartment and, you know, and get together.
18:39And it was about 40 years later that Carrie Fisher basically came out and admitted in writing,
18:45Yes, we had an affair during the making of the first film.
18:48You know, certainly there's an ease, you know, in the body language.
18:52But there's no particular leaning into each other or anything like that in this picture.
18:57But that is consistent with everything that Carrie said about the affair.
19:01That, you know, she was deeply, deeply insecure.
19:04She was massively intimidated by him and continued to be even after they had an affair.
19:10At that time in her life, she was wildly underconfident in herself.
19:14She projected confidence, but had almost none.
19:21Going to the screening of Star Wars with Carrie, she was convinced it was a B science fiction film
19:27and was probably going to be the end of her career.
19:29We went to the screening room.
19:31We're sitting in the parking lot.
19:32She's chain smoking.
19:34Totally nervous.
19:35It's getting very close to the starting of the screening and she can't even get her to go in.
19:39So finally we go in, literally when the lights are dimming down.
19:42And of course, first thing that happens, the words fly over and then the battle cruiser flies over.
19:48I looked over at her and she was clutching my hand, squeezing my hand really hard.
19:53And I said, this is no B movie.
19:58Carrie's very famous all of a sudden.
20:01She's a big star.
20:05In 1983, the third Star Wars film, Return of the Jedi, launched.
20:14Carrie was now an established screen actress and international celebrity.
20:22My name's Aaron Rappaport.
20:24I'm a photographer.
20:25I'm known as being a painless photographer.
20:29Like going to the dentist.
20:31It didn't hurt.
20:32I thought it would hurt.
20:33Thank you very much.
20:34That's me.
20:36Rolling Stone magazine called me and said that we're doing a summer issue for the summer release
20:41of the Star Wars film, Return of the Jedi, and the concept of the shoot was a day at the
20:47beach.
20:49Star Wars was pretty huge by the time the third movie, Return of the Jedi, came out.
20:55We had to keep people away from the actual shoot.
20:58They couldn't believe Princess Leia was on the beach.
21:03So on the cover, we have Darth Vader, who is holding a boombox.
21:07We have Jabba the Hutt's bodyguard, who is playing with a beach ball.
21:11We have the Ewok, who's just happy, having fun.
21:14And we have Princess Leia sitting on the beach chair.
21:19It was just a fun shoot.
21:21Carrie at one point said, okay, we've done this.
21:23Can I have a little fun now, please?
21:24And I said, well, there's always the ocean.
21:26And she said, boom, I'm in there.
21:49She got in the water, waist high.
21:52This was right before a wave came and pretty much made her completely wet.
21:58And the crowd was amazed and it was just really fun.
22:02She just had a great time.
22:04It was just me and Carrie and my assistant, you know, in the water.
22:07And that's Northern California, so the water's not real warm.
22:14Carrie just started flailing around, having fun, always, you know, looking good and splashing water up the camera.
22:26I think this is a photo of Carrie Fisher, not Princess Leia.
22:29Just the expression on her face, the body language.
22:33I don't think Princess Leia was ever this off the chain.
22:37You know, I don't think she was ever this unguarded.
22:39The joy in this photo, that feels to me like Carrie Fisher.
22:44Carrie's in the very famous gold bikini that she wore when she was captured and enslaved by Jabba the Hutt.
22:52I realize now it's somewhat problematic, but at the same time, it's amazing.
22:56She looks amazing in it.
22:58Carrie was absolutely comfortable wearing the bikini, and it was not a comfortable bikini.
23:03It kept shifting, and, you know, she would curse at it, you know, but once it was in position, she
23:10was fine.
23:11She was not self-conscious in any way.
23:14She was just spontaneous and just made it work.
23:19She was like the photographer's dream, really.
23:25Behind the glamour of Princess Leia, life was more complex.
23:34Carrie moved to New York shortly after the first film came out.
23:39And she kind of fell in with the Saturday Night Live crew.
23:44So that was, you know, the comedy sketch show.
23:47And she was part of this group of incredibly funny, witty, smart people.
23:53But that scene at the time was absolutely immersed in drug culture.
23:59Carrie, of course, at this point, is famously starting to use drugs.
24:04And she had a few friends that I didn't thoroughly approve of, because they would just want to get high.
24:10And some of these people are cool people.
24:12I'm not saying they're not cool, but they're just bad influence.
24:14And they take her places she shouldn't be.
24:16So the movie studios obviously would get concerned.
24:21The insurance companies were panicking.
24:23Could she show up to work?
24:25And so I was brought in as a, as sort of a, keep an eye on things.
24:32But Carrie's famous for being a survivor.
24:38I have this cool picture of a trip that Carrie and I took together to China back in 1986.
25:01We're standing, there's a reflecting pool here.
25:04Although it's very foggy because it's wintertime.
25:05And it was the morning.
25:06And we're standing on the edge of the containment wall that holds this reflecting pond.
25:11You can sort of see in the background there's some temples and stuff.
25:13And she's wearing her typical clogged shoes.
25:16She has on a sweater.
25:18It's cold.
25:19This was December-ish.
25:23Prior to this trip to China, this is when Carrie was sober.
25:27But just before this, it was Carrie's first experience in a rehab.
25:33Can you give me the range of drugs you took?
25:35Did you just take prescriptives or did you take cocaine?
25:38Everything.
25:39Everything.
25:40What does everything mean?
25:42I took prescription drugs were my preference.
25:44I took hallucinogenics.
25:46I took, you know, cocaine.
25:50I took pretty much the gamut.
25:54And Carrie's drug use was not always recreational, although there were certainly some of that.
25:59But there was also really, in a way, a self-medication, a way to control the mood swings.
26:05And sometime in the 80s, the doctors started talking about this concept of bipolar.
26:15I guess the first time that Carrie talked about what it felt like to be bipolar, both sides of the
26:22mood swings, was actually on this trip.
26:25This is another example of a mood of mine.
26:28I'm standing here, dead center in it.
26:30I can't tell you a lie.
26:32I'm standing here with my entire life behind me and the rest of my life in front of me, trapped,
26:38as it were, wedged between the two things.
26:40The inevitable, the what is coming, and the what has already passed, and the what I cannot even explain to
26:47you.
26:47Or even if I explain it, it will not go away.
26:52She used to say, there's no end to my moods.
26:55What she meant by that is there's no knowing where it can stop, and do I just spin off into
27:00the universe?
27:02I mean, that's scary.
27:05I guess you could read between the lines in this picture, the way she's leaning on me, and say, you
27:10know, that she liked to lean on me when she could.
27:14You know, she didn't want to lean on me.
27:15It's just sometimes, you know, she needed to lean on me.
27:21I remember one time in Los Angeles, an emergency room doctor called me up, and he says, I have your
27:27sister in here.
27:30She had an overdose.
27:35So I ended up rushing down there, and I'm sitting at her bedside, and there's a, the guardrail is up
27:40on the bed, and she's on her side, and you know, she's in tears.
27:46I said, you know, there's two phone calls I never want to get, and I just got one of them.
27:55And, you know, you made it, but, you know, that's awfully close to the end.
28:08Unfortunately, I had that conversation many times.
28:16I never judged Carrie, because I never understood what it was like to be in her shoes.
28:20You've got to just love them through it.
28:22And, you know, she was easy to love anyway.
28:29We were just super connected.
28:31You know, having experienced so many things and done so many things together for so long,
28:39there was a certain connection that was there that was just sort of magical.
28:47By 1986, Carrie's mental health and addiction issues were making acting jobs difficult.
28:55A chance encounter offered a change of direction.
29:06I'm Paul Slansky.
29:07I'm a writer and an editor, and I worked with Carrie on her first book, Postcards from the Edge.
29:13I met her at a friend's house one night, and she talked to me the first night,
29:18like as if we'd known each other forever.
29:20Carrie was very much like that.
29:21She would just spill.
29:24And I was also working for Esquire magazine in New York,
29:27and they decided they wanted to do interviews with funny women.
29:32I said, let me do Carrie as a first one.
29:34The interview came out, and it got a lot of interest.
29:39Anyone who knew Carrie knew that she was funny.
29:41But if you didn't know her, you knew Princess Leia.
29:45So this was a revelation to a lot of people.
29:48And so an agent got interested in it, and a publisher got interested in it,
29:52and it wound up there was a book deal.
29:53And she wanted me to work on it with her.
29:55This book became Postcards from the Edge.
29:57It started out as a collection of essays on Hollywood.
30:01But once we started doing it, it became obvious very quickly that she couldn't be honest.
30:06She couldn't really say what she knew and talk about people.
30:08You know, she had to live in the town.
30:10So we turned it into a novel.
30:12Carrie, at this point, had just been in rehab.
30:16And so that just reflected in the book.
30:19You know, she had that experience of having come through it all.
30:22My role was kind of like to just get it out of her head and onto the page.
30:26And we would meet, you know, pretty much like three or four times a week.
30:35I remember this kitchen from when we were working on the book.
30:38This was not a normal celebrity kitchen.
30:40This was Carrie Fisher's kitchen.
30:56Here she, Carrie, she's sitting on the counter with her knees up.
31:01Whatever house she lived in, Carrie's kitchen was like a great place to just hang out.
31:05It had the most amazing little items in it.
31:08Like the sign over the stove, no spitting.
31:10Like, who would have that in their kitchen?
31:12No, I mean, I can't think of anyone else.
31:16Right in front there, there's this thing.
31:18It looks like an optical illusion.
31:19As the can looks like it's floating in the air.
31:22She loved stuff like that.
31:26Carrie is sitting there looking very impish, I would say, in this.
31:31Her attitude overall was just, the world is insane.
31:39A typical day of writing with Carrie would be, I'd show up at her house at about maybe 10, 11
31:44o'clock.
31:46And we would just hang out for a while.
31:48And then ultimately she would, we'd sit down and start recording.
31:52A lot of the book was dictated.
31:55We would run tape and then I would edit it.
31:58But she found it easier.
32:00I mean, she just found it easier to talk it out.
32:03And I mean, some of the stuff was just, it was amazing to hear it when it was coming out
32:07of her mouth.
32:08A lot of the time she would become the character she was doing.
32:11And there's a character in the book, Alex, who's like a cocaine addict, who's the most self-deluded guy you
32:18can imagine.
32:19When you hear my voice, I'm either encouraging her or saying, or suggesting that we, in this case, I'm suggesting
32:25that we give this more time.
32:29I don't think it's so bad.
32:31I mean, Freud took it.
32:32Why shouldn't I?
32:33Have we gotten here fast?
32:35I mean, have we gotten here too fast?
32:36Yes, I think.
32:36Or should it be that fast?
32:38I mean, should it be a shorter thing?
32:40You're right.
32:41I think we should really prolong it.
32:42Okay, well.
32:43And deteriorating that.
32:44Okay.
32:45So, and I think, all right.
32:47I think that was the problem.
32:49It's like, just coke that hurts your face, you know?
32:52Carrie was funny effortlessly.
32:55It's like polishing a jewel to edit Carrie's books.
32:59I could see it on the page as I was listening to it.
33:01And it was like, I can't believe I'm hearing this.
33:04It's so good.
33:07It's such a great description of addiction and the sort of helplessness of it as well.
33:14As you were writing the book, in the process of writing the book, did you find yourself worried at all
33:19about what people were going to think?
33:21If I had to worry about what people thought about my life, I don't think I would ever function.
33:25I mean, I worry about what people think and then I do whatever I'm going to do anyway.
33:32I think writing Postcards from the Edge was cathartic for Carrie because she had just been through this experience and
33:37got to write about it.
33:38And Postcards from the Edge is a hilarious book, despite the fact that it's about a very serious situation.
33:45It got really good reviews.
33:47People got instantly that this was funny.
33:49This woman can write.
33:51I think Carrie was in a good place in her life.
33:53I think she was really thrilled to be recognized as a writer.
34:01Carrie clearly is a world-class writer, but no one had really thought of her as a writer before this.
34:10She was a great singer.
34:13She was a fine actress.
34:15But what Carrie ended up doing with herself is she became brilliant in her own way.
34:29In the early 1990s, Carrie started a serious relationship with talent agent, Brian Lord.
34:39They loved each other.
34:40I know that.
34:42I know that she loved him very much.
34:44And Brian was the father of her only child, Billy.
34:52But it wasn't to unfold as a happy ending for them being together.
35:02I walked in the house, and Carrie was sitting on her side of the bed, crying.
35:07And I was like, whoa, what's up here?
35:09You know, I mean, here's some serious crying.
35:11You know, she goes, well, Brian's, you know, leaving me.
35:13And I was like, what?
35:17Brian announces to Carrie that he's leaving her for a man and that he's gay.
35:22And it was stunning, you know, and Carrie was stunned, of all people.
35:27You know, my mother was stunned, you know, of all people.
35:32In the years that followed, Carrie and her mother grew closer.
35:42My name is Roy Teelach.
35:44I was actually headhunted to come and spearhead a salon on Rodeo Drive.
35:49One of the first people I met was Carrie Fisher.
35:51Five minutes into our conversation and the beginning of our relationship.
35:55It was just about her and I, who are you?
35:58What are you about?
36:00And then things flew.
36:03So the picture that we have here is of Carrie and Debbie Reynolds, her mother, from when I first met
36:11her.
36:25This picture comes from a CBS Mother's Day tribute and she needed her hair done and I was the stylist.
36:36Carrie turned up at the salon first, plumped her butt in my chair and said, what are you going to
36:44do to me?
36:47And I said, well, let's start by taking a few years off and go shorter.
36:52At which time, Debbie turned up and she actually decided to sit on the floor.
36:58What we're seeing here is a moment of complete acceptance of each other, despite everything that Carrie put Debbie through
37:08and vice versa.
37:13What it says to me is how much they cared about each other and how important they were to each
37:20other and how alike they were, despite all their differences.
37:27But it was important for Carrie, for everybody to know how much she loved her mother and she even spoke
37:34about being a mother herself that day, how she decided to parent in her own way.
37:41I remember very well that she wanted to always be present for Billy.
37:48Billy was, you know, the golden child without the silver spoon.
37:54So she got to get the best of Carrie, a caring person that was always a lending ear.
38:05Carrie wasn't strict.
38:06She was tolerant, at times disciplinary.
38:11She would do all the right things, but not see them all through.
38:18Carrie was never going to be an off-the-shelf mom.
38:21I think having Billy is largely responsible for Carrie also, getting control of herself.
38:29She felt a responsibility as a mother to do things, and I think that was good and important.
38:35And I think without Billy, who knows how that would have played out.
38:39Billy also had a sense of responsibility herself as a young child.
38:44She was sheltered, but she wasn't stupid.
38:48You kind of worry as a child about, you know, your mother.
38:52But Carrie would always bounce back and not sugarcoat per se, but she would say everything's okay.
39:00You know, we're fine.
39:01It was just a moment.
39:06Three months after this photo was taken, Carrie experienced a period of psychosis.
39:14I was hospitalized last year on a manic episode.
39:20Where?
39:21For what?
39:21Cedars.
39:22A manic.
39:23I think I stood up for five and a half days, and I truly lost my mind.
39:33Carrie's openness in sharing her experience of addiction and bipolar won her admiration and respect.
39:40Aged 51, she starred in a solo stage show that would tour over the next three years.
39:48I'm Tony Taccone, and I directed Carrie in Wishful Drinking.
39:54It basically was a memoir of sorts that covered everything from Carrie's birth all the way through her life.
40:02And the show was a massive hit.
40:18This particular picture, I think, was taken three-quarters of the way through the first act,
40:23when Carrie is actually describing the effects of her therapy on her.
40:28I mean, it looks like she's talking to Sigmund Freud right here.
40:32The tone of this show was raucously, wildly funny, but it had moments of deep personal empathy.
40:42A lot of performers choose to use audience participation as a way of almost insulting the audience to the glee
40:51of the rest of the crowd.
40:53Carrie didn't do that.
40:54She kind of, like, made love to the audience.
40:58She was much more about making fun of herself.
41:02The thing about Carrie that was so astonishing was she was so forthright, I mean, with everybody, it seemed like,
41:09about her life.
41:11She had come out as a spokesperson for bipolar and had a legion of fans and admirers for being so
41:24transparent about her illness.
41:27When I first met her, one of the first things she said to me is,
41:32I suffer from bipolar where that manifests itself in two different people, and I've named them.
41:38One is Roy and one is Pam.
41:41Roy is a wild, partying, intensely creative, larger-than-life character who can conquer any demon.
41:53Pam was the person who was on meds, who was a lot more sullen, in control.
42:01I think the biggest problem for Carrie was that when she was Roy, she felt creative, and for an artist,
42:08this is essential.
42:11Navigating those two personalities was something that everybody around her had to do, but mostly she had to do it,
42:21and it was a challenge for her.
42:38She was really having a hard time just getting through the day.
42:45At one point, she started using again.
42:49I don't know what, but she was using again.
42:52She told me.
42:53I mean, she couldn't really focus on the work, even though she tried.
43:02I admired her resilience, her capability to fight through whatever she was fighting through on whatever day.
43:13I think she might have been more vulnerable offstage than she was onstage.
43:17Vulnerable to life and all of its vicissitudes.
43:26Whenever she got in front of the audience, a calmness came over her.
43:32She knew where she was.
43:36And she pulled up that couch and decided to tell us all a story.
43:44And the stories she told were gold.
43:57In 2015, Carrie returned to the big screen in a new Star Wars trilogy, now as General Leia.
44:08I understand that George Lucas personally asked you to come back.
44:13Did it take some convincing?
44:14No.
44:15I'm a female in Hollywood.
44:17Over the age of, let's say, 40, and then we could also say 50.
44:22You don't have to ask you if you want to work at that age.
44:24You'll see someday.
44:25What was your reaction?
44:27I looked like that.
44:29I think she might have had some concerns.
44:32You know, it had been such a long time.
44:34And she was a very different person, of course, by 2015 than she had been in 1983.
44:40But at the same time, she was also aware that, you know, that part was a gift.
44:51So this is Carrie Fisher visiting Madame Tussauds in London in 2016.
44:57She has brought with her Gary Fisher, her French bulldog, who is staring dead into camera.
45:03And she's visiting the waxwork of herself as Princess Leia, sitting next to Jabba the Hutt on his throne, Leia
45:12in her gold bikini.
45:13Carrie, however, is more sensibly dressed next to her younger self in a similar, almost mirrored pose, but at a
45:20very different time in her life.
45:37She would have been shooting on The Last Jedi before this picture was taken.
45:41So, you know, she is back as Leia.
45:43She's gone from being a princess, something, you know, a status that she owed to her parents, to being a
45:49general, something that she had earned on her own.
45:51And I think that kind of parallels where Carrie had gone as well.
45:55She'd gone from being a Hollywood princess, if you like, to being a formidably successful writer and novelist in her
46:02own right.
46:05I love it.
46:06The thing that's most important in this picture is Gary.
46:11Carrie was the worst pet owner on Earth.
46:14She would buy pets and change them like you change underwear.
46:17But then along came Gary with his tongue hanging out.
46:22They bonded.
46:24And Gary was literally her life companion in many ways.
46:27I mean, they really were buddies.
46:30Carrie adored this dog to the point where she would share her ice cream with Gary.
46:34She loved that dog.
46:37But I can see Carrie getting a little bit like, oh, come on, enough already with the bathing suit and
46:44Jabba the Hutt, please.
46:46The real Carrie, the older Carrie here, has a little bit of a smirk on her face.
46:52She isn't that Princess Leia anymore.
46:54She isn't 23.
46:55She isn't stunningly slim.
46:58And I think she quite enjoyed poking fun almost at her own perfection as a younger woman.
47:08I didn't know, thankfully, until later that I was sort of a, it's hard to say, a sex symbol or
47:15something, whatever that means.
47:16So I went into a store one day and this boy said, you know, oh, are you, you know, Princess
47:23Leia?
47:24Yes.
47:25He said, I thought of you, about you every day from when I was 12 to when I was 22.
47:31And I said, every day?
47:34And he said, well, four times a day.
47:38She was the quickest person to point out all of her own flaws.
47:42And so anyone who tried to poke fun at her tended to get it back times 10.
47:48When she was met with criticism, when people said she was, you know, too fat to come back as Princess
47:53Leia, she essentially said, deal with it.
47:55This is Princess Leia.
47:57I am Princess Leia.
47:58Whatever.
48:00I think the Carrie Fisher that we see here in 2016 was much happier, much more at ease with herself.
48:09Carrie was in a good place.
48:11Her life was together.
48:13Financial issues, not a factor anymore.
48:15It was like she was just, that's the tragedy of it.
48:32Carrie Fisher remains in intensive care this morning.
48:35Friends and family have been rushing to Los Angeles, surrounding the actress with support, waiting for any hint or sign
48:43of an update on her condition.
48:55It didn't surprise me when the various reports came out that there were traces of this, that, and her bloodstream
49:00and all that.
49:02You know, she put her body through a lot.
49:07How do I think she'll be remembered?
49:09I wish Carrie were here to answer that question.
49:12She would come up with some crackerjack, spitfire answer.
49:18Princess Leia was my heroine when I was a kid.
49:21But Carrie Fisher, with her honesty and her fearlessness, and her complete disregard for what anyone thought of her,
49:29is a much better and more realistic heroine, I think, as an adult.
49:35Even if she had just done Star Wars and written postcards from the edge, she would have been fine.
49:42But she did way more than that.
49:45And, you know, people throw the word genius around a lot.
49:49However, she was a genius.
49:52Truly.
49:56I think her greatest achievement was, you know, putting a face on addiction and bipolar that made it relatable.
50:06Thousands and thousands of people have written me or walked up to me and talked to me about how Carrie
50:13inspired them to carry on.
50:16I'm standing here right behind you as a reminder, whispering to you, calling out to you, and conveying my true
50:25self to your true self,
50:26speaking to the best part of you from the best part of me.
50:56I'm standing here right behind you.