- 10 hours ago
Rivals Season 1 Episode 4 Engsub
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🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:28The End
00:36I haven't eaten since we last met.
00:39Really?
00:40You still have all my silverware.
00:42Oh, I'm so sorry.
00:44It's all right. Needed to lose the Christmas weight?
00:46I've just been so busy since New Year's Eve.
00:49Oh, good. I'm glad you deserve to be.
00:52Catering at the Berlingham Pheasant Shoe next Saturday.
00:55You'll be there?
00:56Sadly not.
00:57I haven't had an invitation to the falconry
00:59since I introduced Paul Stratton to Monica's buffet table.
01:03A real shame on this occasion,
01:04as I hear the food will be excellent.
01:06And there's me thinking the weight of a man's heart
01:08is in his trousers.
01:10Am I interrupting?
01:12No, Daddy. We borrowed his cutlery for the party.
01:14Well, then we should return it.
01:25Did I ever tell you how much I enjoy your show?
01:28Thrilling stuff.
01:30Once you get your teeth into someone,
01:31you don't let go, do you?
01:32If you're such a fan, why don't you come on?
01:34You'd make a great guest.
01:37I promise to be gentle.
01:44Unfortunately, the only evening I've got free
01:46in the near future is Valentine's Day,
01:48and I doubt it'll stay that way for long.
01:52Sorry to disappoint him, chap.
01:55Here we are, Rupert.
01:58Rupert.
01:59Huh?
02:01Thanks, Ty.
02:15Cunt.
02:20That's all we've got time for tonight.
02:21I'm sure our audience misses seeing you
02:23each week at Night Rider.
02:25Still.
02:26At least you're not playing second fit
02:27into a talking car anymore.
02:39Time to wrap it up, Declan.
02:40He's got ten seconds left.
02:44Before we go,
02:45I would also like to mention
02:46that a special edition of our show
02:48will now be going out on Valentine's Day
02:50with former Olympic show jumper
02:51Mr. Rupert Campbell Black MP.
02:53I know that news will come as a surprise
02:56and a delight to many.
02:58Until next time,
03:00good night.
03:12What the fuck was that?
03:13I thought I told you
03:14not to pull this shit anymore.
03:16Jesus, relax, will you?
03:17Relax.
03:18Declan, all his office has to do
03:20is release a statement tomorrow morning
03:22saying they don't know
03:22what we're talking about
03:23and we look like a bunch of amateurs.
03:25Cameron, be nice to poor Declan.
03:27He's an asshole.
03:28No, he's a genius.
03:30I guess Rupert can't refuse a challenge,
03:32I know.
03:33You're both assholes.
03:35All we have to do is wait.
03:37Declan?
03:37Yeah?
03:38Mr. Campbell Black is on line one.
03:50Well, isn't the genius going to talk to him?
03:53You can speak to my producer.
03:56Same as anybody else.
04:04This is Cameron Cook.
04:06Mrs. T thinks I should accept the invitation
04:08to take the opportunity
04:09to show you media pinkos who's boss.
04:11I'm inclined to agree with her,
04:13but I voted for Reagan.
04:14Really?
04:15Good girl.
04:17So, Minister,
04:18are you game?
04:19We don't know each other well,
04:20Miss Cook,
04:21but I do hope
04:22that over the course
04:23of our acquaintance
04:24I might have the opportunity
04:25to show you
04:26how very game
04:28I am.
04:32Well.
04:35He's in.
04:57He's in.
05:16He's in.
05:39Don't think you're touching my tits later
05:41just like that.
05:42No.
05:43Sure.
05:45Ignore my sister.
05:46She's the right bellend.
05:50Before the syphilis reached his brain,
05:51my father used to host
05:52seven shoots a year,
05:53and we never started the first drive
05:55later than half past nine.
05:56Shush, darling,
05:56they're waiting for their electrician friend.
05:58Oh, yes, the electrician.
06:00Not an electrician.
06:01Freddie Jones is an electronics mogul.
06:04Today's a celebration of him joining my board.
06:06He's the guest of honour, Henry.
06:07You and your wife are here
06:08to make sure he has a jolly nice time,
06:10all right?
06:12Oh, he's here.
06:13Oh, fine, then.
06:17Look at that little number.
06:19Yeah, well,
06:19as long as he can shoot straight,
06:21I couldn't give a fuck.
06:22That's the spirit.
06:25You made it!
06:29Bloody hell, town.
06:30Should I chuck a bucket of mud over me motor?
06:32I'm feeling very conspicuous all of a sudden.
06:34Freddie,
06:35perfect as you are.
06:36My sweets.
06:40Oh, dear God.
06:41It's Sherlock Ideal Holmes.
06:43Tony,
06:44thank you so much for receiving us.
06:46Need to investigate crimes against him.
06:48Come on.
06:48Hello, Mary.
06:49Good to see you.
06:50Pleasure.
06:51Lady Hermione.
06:52So honored to make your acquaintance.
06:55Mrs Jones,
06:56I've heard so much about you.
07:00Now, let's get a gun in your hand.
07:02No need.
07:03No need.
07:07I brought me home.
07:09Oh.
07:11Marvellous.
07:29Don't you know
07:31about the bird,
07:32when everybody knows
07:33that the bird is a bird
07:34when the bird is a bird?
07:35You are sure he can shoot,
07:37aren't you?
07:40Heh.
07:41I want everybody's hearing
07:43about the bird.
07:44Bird, bird, bird.
07:46The bird's a willow
07:46when the bird's a bird.
07:48The bird's a willow
07:49when the don't shoot now
07:50when the bird is a bird.
07:51When everybody's talking
07:52about the bird.
07:53When the bird's a bird.
07:55The bird's a bird.
07:57Said for me.
07:58By the bird.
08:00Murray,
08:00.
08:0440,
08:1660,
08:17generation,
08:17I'm not sure it goes.
08:18But now you're in the GORDON's
08:21for a restaurant called
08:22a girl ESA.
08:24People are safe.
08:25Who are you doing?
08:26People do people
08:26need the food
08:26for 3.
08:27And I
08:27sleep.
08:27Keep getting
08:27food so
08:28you take
08:28the bird's Melbourne
08:28and humans
08:28and need to
08:28explore
08:30Oh, yeah.
08:34So, how long do you spend on a cock?
08:37Er, well, generally speaking, I can finish one off in 15 minutes or less,
08:41but my hands aren't as quick as they used to be.
08:43No, sure.
08:47Any of you ladies first, you having a go?
08:50Traditionally speaking, Fred, but it's the men that shoot.
08:52We ladies are here merely to marvel at your prowess.
08:56I will.
08:57Oh, she's doing it. She's off.
08:59All right, good for you, girl.
09:01So, there it is.
09:04What-what-handed are you?
09:05Right-handed.
09:05You're right-handed.
09:06Okay, so just take it, take your triggers there.
09:08Safety yourself now.
09:11You've got to keep it hard into your shoulder.
09:13Otherwise, you're going to do yourself a mischief.
09:15Okay.
09:15Right, okay.
09:16Go on.
09:17End your own time.
09:21Whoa!
09:22Oh, never mind.
09:24Go on, have another go.
09:24Oh, no, no, no, it's fine.
09:27God, look at the state of your hands.
09:29Oh, God.
09:30I hope nobody would notice.
09:32Um, I was fighting with a typewriter ribbon first thing.
09:36Needless to say, the ribbon won.
09:42Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
09:51Anyone know we're quiet?
10:09Lord, Lieutenant. Hello. Mr. Hampshire.
10:13You must visit Greenlawn soon. We would so love to receive you. Do say you'll come.
10:19Certainly, yes. What a splendid idea.
10:22Mrs. Stratton. Hello. You must come and visit me at my boutique.
10:26We're all searching for the right kind of clientele and well.
10:29Natural elegance can be so hard to find. Yes. No, I have been meaning to.
10:32You could pick something out for your cranium screen test, couldn't you, darling?
10:35Great idea. Screen test. How exciting. Any idea what he has in mind for you?
10:39Oh, he hasn't said, actually. Well, choose your outfit wisely, Sarah.
10:43The camera can be very unforgiving. Even for the most perfect of specimens.
10:48Sure.
10:55Freddie. I thought you hadn't shot before. Turns out you were a natural.
10:59Yeah, I was top marksman at Bisley for two years doing me in national service.
11:03I know. Why wouldn't I do that? I want to introduce you to my son.
11:08Bear with me.
11:09Yeah.
11:33Oh, my God.
11:43Oh, fuck.
11:53It's blippin' a wank. I thought you right out, mate.
11:56Just a thought.
11:58There are far too many loaded guns around here today
12:00for you to be making comments like that.
12:02Now, fuck off before I do something you'll regret.
12:17Oh, Tones!
12:19Look who's here.
12:21Surprise.
12:22Maybe you don't mind us dropping in.
12:24Of course not.
12:26I shot two dozen pheasant of Jane a woodcock this morning.
12:28Why shouldn't I add a couple of cuckoos to that tally?
12:32Well, for a start, it wouldn't be able to appear on your chat show.
12:38Why shoot you now when I can wait and have you savaged by an Irish wolfhound?
12:54I can't believe you turned up uninvited.
12:57You don't always have to be invited, Taggy.
13:01Good things seldom come to those who wait.
13:12Charles!
13:13Oh, hello.
13:14I didn't expect to see anybody.
13:16I was researching Campbell Black and needed something for my office.
13:19I never thought I'd see the day when Tony Baddingham had Declan O'Hara doing his dirty work.
13:23I have my own reasons for wanting to take that bastard down.
13:26You know, in different circumstances, you and Rupert could have been friends.
13:29Both complicated, both stubborn.
13:32Misunderstood.
13:33Bollocks.
13:33What are you doing in a Saturday?
13:36Moving offices ahead of my grand return.
13:40Apparently, my recent coronary episode makes me a medical liability.
13:45Which is why Cameron Cook is now a controller of programmes and I'm...
13:49Head of Religious Broadcasting.
13:51I can't begrudge her too much.
13:54I mean, the greasy pearl requires its own set of skills.
13:58Especially when the greasy pearl in question lives in Tony Baddingham's trousers.
14:05How's the heart?
14:08Oh, you know...
14:11Broken.
14:14Don't show Tony any weakness, Declan O'Hara.
14:17This is what you get.
14:29I'm so happy to see him in the meio of my family.
14:33It's too late to see him in the end.
14:34I'm so happy to come back to his head.
14:35We're over 500 people.
14:35What are you waiting for?
14:38I'm going to be aester and aester brother.
14:39I'm really listening to my mother's father.
14:39We're not making a standard.
14:39I'm so happy to see him.
14:42I'm so happy to see him in the next couple of weeks.
14:58Let's go.
15:19What do you think of your first shoot?
15:21How can people murder helpless animals all day for fun?
15:24Says the girl who baked two dozen pork pies for the occasion.
15:27Or do you suppose the pork piggies were hugged to death?
15:29Don't be horrid. I needed the job.
15:31Don't be a hypocrite. Stand up for what you believe in.
15:38Maybe I shouldn't be saying this, but I don't think you should go on Daddy's show.
15:42I'm worried he's going to do something awful.
15:46You'll be fine. Promise.
15:48Oh, smashing spread, Agatha.
15:52I'm hosting at the Beaufort next month, and I wondered if you might do the food.
15:57Oh, that's very kind.
16:02To be honest, I find the whole idea of hunts and shoots utterly...
16:09objectionable.
16:10And I won't be doing them anymore.
16:11Oh.
16:13Right.
16:14Be careful, Agatha. You're in danger of developing a backbone.
16:18Now, I've got a girl's supper Monday week. I'm going to give you a tinkle.
16:24Go.
16:27Hmm.
16:31Come on, Rube. We've got a hot date. It's a dog and trumpet.
16:34Bye, Angel.
17:00I have had the most delightful day.
17:04It's so nice to have finally found our kind of people.
17:08Sorry, Todd.
17:09I've got to get to the office.
17:10Trouble with a shipment out of Japan.
17:11Well, you're a true titan of industry, Freddie.
17:14Let's talk again soon.
17:15Try and set a date for you to come in and discuss your ideas.
17:17I'll give you a ring on Monday.
17:20Thanks.
17:20Bye.
17:26Well done.
17:29Now, they're just through there.
17:30I'll fetch the brandy glasses.
17:39Oh, Mr. Hampshire, I would so love to receive you.
17:44Oh, well, fortunately for you, Mrs. Jones,
17:49hounds aren't the only thing I ride to.
17:53Oh, I'm sure a ride with you would be delightful.
17:56Well, what can I say? The likeness is uncanny.
17:58Oh, what about me, Mr. Hampshire? Do I bear resemblance?
18:01Oh, I'm sure he wishes you did.
18:03He'd be bounding down to Greenland to admire one's topiary ball.
18:17Sorry, Mousie left her, um...
18:19Oh, no, yeah, sure.
18:20I was just, um, trying them on for size.
18:23You know, I really must get down to Mousie's boutique soon.
18:26Well, look, thanks again for a great time.
18:28Let's talk on Monday.
18:29Absolutely. Let me see...
18:30No, no, no, you're all right. I know you're all right.
18:33I know you're all right.
18:40I know you're all right.
18:46Now, who'd like a cigar?
18:50It's pretty unfortunate.
19:08Ah, how was the shoot?
19:11Well, they killed loads of birds, but they're like my food.
19:14Rupert stopped by.
19:15Oh, Jesus Christ.
19:18Is there no place free of that man?
19:23Oh, Jesus Christ.
19:42He's a king.
19:48Call red-handed.
19:58Why are you in here?
20:01What are you planning on doing to Rupert?
20:04He said he was sorry.
20:05I raised you to be smarter than that.
20:08A story is a story.
20:10It looks like it's all been said before.
20:11No, it hasn't.
20:14He doesn't deserve whatever you have planned for him.
20:16It's called journalism, Ike.
20:18You can call it what you want.
20:21I call it revenge.
20:30So what's this big scoop you've got on Rupert?
20:32The whole office is talking about it.
20:34The magician never reveals his secrets.
20:40The butcher of Carinium, that's a new one.
20:44It's not true, is it?
20:46I mean, I know the show can get a bit confrontational,
20:49but it never rips someone apart for the sake of it.
20:52You're making great television.
20:54And, more importantly, keeping Lord B happy.
21:15Slag.
21:17Lord Battingham's office.
21:19Of course, putting you through.
21:23Freddie Jones for you.
21:29Freddie, how are you?
21:30Can't join your ball, Tony.
21:33Freddie?
21:34I heard everything.
21:36You, Sarah, all of them.
21:39I don't mind people making fun of me.
21:42It's just that nobody makes fun of my Valerie.
21:48We all love Mousy.
21:50I hate snobs, Tony.
21:52And you're the worst kind there is,
21:54the kind who's forgotten where he came from.
22:10Fred, Fred.
22:11I am in such turmoil.
22:13Some young ladies from Carinium were in the boutique earlier today
22:15saying the most ghastly things about Tony Battingham,
22:18the Matt Pluck woman.
22:19I just don't know what I'm going to say to poor Monica.
22:22Then don't say anything.
22:23Oh, I must.
22:23It's too awful.
22:24Mousy, please.
22:25It's got nothing to do with us.
22:29What?
22:35We need it, Freddie!
22:40It was Rupert.
22:42He crashed the chute, ruined the moon.
22:44Don't be such a baby.
22:45You fucked up.
22:51Beg your pardon?
22:52You heard me.
23:00Forget Freddie Jones.
23:02You've got me and Declan,
23:05and we've got the highest ratings in the country.
23:14Declan's got a scoop on Rupert.
23:18Apparently, it's top secret.
23:20Valentine's Day can't come quickly enough.
23:28Mon Mon.
23:30Ah.
23:32I promise we aren't always shooting things here, Valerie.
23:35But roosting on my hornbeams is a capital offence.
23:40Ahem.
23:42Dearest Mon Mon,
23:44I'm afraid I must relay some rather difficult information to you
23:48regarding Cameron Cork.
23:50Oh, yes.
23:51You see, as the owner of a very popular boutique,
23:53one learns about all sorts of goings-on,
23:56and, well, the suggestion is
23:58that she might have come by her recent promotion
24:00through certain...
24:02immodest means,
24:04and that perhaps your husband's head was, well, turned.
24:09Well, that's very interesting, Valerie.
24:13I mean, actually, I've no idea whether...
24:15Be substantiated!
24:21No.
24:22You don't.
24:29It can leave one feeling quite alone.
24:33So, if ever you wanted to...
24:34confide in someone...
24:37I'm sure that won't be necessary.
24:39Thank you so much for stopping by.
24:54Good morning, Rutger.
24:56And a happy Valentine's Day to all our listeners.
24:59Stay tuned for back-to-back love songs
25:00to get you in the romantic mood.
25:03And on television tonight,
25:04Declan O'Hara will be interviewing local Casanova,
25:07Rupert Campbell Black.
25:08Let's see if Declan gets him to kiss and tell all.
25:16Delivery?
25:17Oh, gosh.
25:19For...
25:19Mr. Berica?
25:21Oh.
25:27Thanks.
25:27Bye, darling. Mustache.
25:29Feel free to pop all this in the pile for me.
25:30Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
25:32Then I call...
25:34Rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain, rain.
25:39dance!
25:39Darling, we can go for dinner any time!
25:43Tonight,
25:44I want to watch the Valentine's Day massacre
25:47of Rupert Campbell Black.
25:48Hmm.
25:49Well, I'll have finished my screen-test for Copswold round-up by mid-afternoon,
25:52so you have until then to change your mind.
25:55OK?
25:58Or what?
25:59You'll hang an open-for-business sign on your dressing room door?
26:06Don't tempt me.
26:32Where have you been?
26:34Just getting some exercise.
26:38Archie, dear, your father says he found you on the morning of the shoot,
26:43receiving manual stimulation from an estate worker.
26:47Er...
26:48Well, darling, look.
26:51Whilst boarding school is undoubtedly a lonely place
26:54where certain extracurricular activities are tolerated,
26:57well, at least they were in my day.
26:59Fuck.
27:00I do feel that one should exercise restraint when closer to home.
27:06After all, fraternising with the staff
27:10can only ever lead to pain and humiliation for all concerned.
27:18There are lines one does not cross.
27:22Understood?
27:24Yeah.
27:27Good.
27:33You see, I told you I'd deal with it.
27:35I don't know what I'd do without you.
27:37You might bear that in mind.
27:49I met a lady in the meads, full beautiful, a fairy's child.
27:53Her hair was long, her foot was light, and her eyes were wild.
27:57I set her on my pacing steed, and nothing else saw all day long.
28:00For sidelong would she bend and sing a fairy song.
28:03You know, it's customary to some flowers, cheapskate.
28:07Oh, hey, there's nothing cheap about John Keats.
28:09Go try your luck with some dough-out undergrads.
28:11I'm busy.
28:38I believe I asked for coffee sometime next week.
28:41This century would be fantastic.
28:43You'd think the promotion would make her happy,
28:45but she's angrier than ever.
28:48I'll get the coffee.
28:49You get the phone.
28:50James Roker's phone.
28:52Oh, hello, Deirdre.
28:53Can you tell James I'd like him home for lunch today?
28:56I'm sorry, who's this?
28:58His wife.
29:00Oh, yes.
29:01Right, you are.
29:27This is for you.
29:29It's from Rupert.
29:31Oh!
29:37Hello, Bert.
29:39How are you?
29:41Dreadful.
29:42So, Freddie Jones lent me this fabulous new sing-along machine,
29:46freshly shipped from Japan.
29:47I was supposed to be hosting,
29:48and if music be the food of love,
29:51karaoke and curry night.
29:53Only now, my chef's off sick.
29:56Well, I could cook a curry for you.
29:58Oh, that's exactly what I hoped you'd say.
30:00Did I just hear I'm getting abandoned on Valentine's night?
30:04You said you were going to watch Daddy's interview with me, Taggy.
30:07Well, come to the bar.
30:09You can watch the interview, and I can watch you.
30:13And thank you, my darling, honestly.
30:15You're really helping me out of a tight spot.
30:17Well, I have a tight spot, too, if you fancy lending a hand.
30:21Come to bar Sinister tonight,
30:23and I'll lend you two.
30:25Ooh.
30:34Who was that?
30:35Oh, uh, it was Baz.
30:38He wants Taggy to do some cooking for him.
30:40Good luck tonight.
30:41Thanks, love.
30:43Give him hell.
30:44Oh, I will.
30:47Daddy, please don't do this to Rupert.
30:49Oh, for fuck's sake, Tag.
30:51This is happening whether you like it or not.
30:53No, go on.
31:12Sarah, you were brilliant.
31:13I've said it before.
31:14The camera loves you.
31:15I was so nervous this morning,
31:16and having you there just really put me at ease, you know.
31:18You should see Sarah's screen test camera.
31:20She's really something.
31:23I'd rather watch Frog's fucking.
31:26Hey, you can take the girl out of New York.
31:28Well, here he is, man of the moment.
31:31What's this, more dirt on Rupert?
31:32You'll have to find out tonight, I'm afraid.
31:34Scorpion are holding their front page for us tomorrow,
31:36so whatever you have, O'Hara, better be good.
31:38What is it?
31:39Drugs?
31:40Underage girls?
31:40God, I'd love to see that smug bastard in that.
31:43It's not criminal,
31:44but I promise you won't be disappointed.
31:47It'll blindside even him.
31:49God.
31:49He's that shark.
31:51Ooh.
31:52Go on.
31:53Go on.
32:21Two sugars for the shock.
32:27I only come round to give you this.
32:30Oh, gosh, it's...
32:32What is it?
32:34It's a word processor, sort of like a fancy electric typewriter.
32:39So you don't have to worry about any more ink-based accidents.
32:43Oh, gosh, Freddie, that's...
32:47That's so...
32:48You have a talent, Lizzie.
32:51They should be encouraged.
32:56I'd better go.
32:58Yes, sir.
32:59Yes, sir.
33:00Go on.
33:07For what it's worth, and I didn't see much, but for what it's worth, I thought you looked lovely.
33:26Hello?
33:27Sorry, darling, couldn't get away.
33:30Oh, that's all right.
33:31Doesn't matter now.
33:32Listen, the whole station's staying to watch the Campbell Black bloodbath in person, so don't wake up, all right?
33:38Oh, right-o.
33:40Lots of love.
33:51I thought you might like to meet your new co-host.
33:54Co-host?
33:55What do you mean, co-host?
34:02Oh.
34:03Oh.
34:03I see.
34:05Well, I can feel my ratings soaring already.
34:14I see.
34:14Are you here about the pony?
34:16Tabitha's in the stables this way.
34:18I'm here to speak to you about your ex-husband.
34:21My father's Declan O'Hara.
34:23I've already told his office I want nothing to do with-
34:24I've got a really bad feeling about the interview tonight.
34:26It's got nothing to do with me.
34:28Talk to Rupert.
34:29Ask him to back out.
34:31Please.
34:32I think you should leave.
34:34I mean, you must have left him once.
34:36Are you sleeping with him?
34:39No, I... No.
34:41Rupert is bad news.
34:42I believe that people can change.
34:44I was just like you.
34:45I told myself, nobody understands him like me.
34:48He'll change.
34:49I looked at him and I saw all this potential.
34:52And he looked at me and saw something he'd enjoy breaking.
34:57Rupert is a cancer.
34:59My advice?
35:01Cut him out before it's too late.
35:03Now please leave.
35:31You're aware you are because you're good.
35:34You know that, don't you?
35:37Come on, snap out of it.
35:39We've history to make.
35:41Elvis is about to enter the building.
35:59Remember, this isn't Wogan. He won't be gentle.
36:02If you don't like the question, change the subject.
36:05Thanks for the words of wisdom, sensei.
36:06But I do feel, in situations like this,
36:09it's often better just to be oneself.
36:13Try telling that to Ted Heath.
36:14Who is this?
36:22No.
36:34Oh God.
36:34Oh
37:15Oh
37:19Hi, Sandra's just gonna touch up. I'd love it, but I'm about to appear on national television. Mr. Campbell Black
37:26Great to have you on the show ready when you are
38:03Great
38:04Hello
38:05Darling, I am so sorry. I'm such a pig. Can you forgive me? I've bought champagne
38:12Paul you shouldn't have
38:17Few all right direct me to the volubons
38:25And we're live in five
38:30Four
38:35Three
38:38Two
38:41Good luck there Glenn
38:43One
38:53My guest tonight needs no introduction
38:55He's been described as the world's greatest showjumper and one of the most eligible bachelors in England
39:00He is of course minister for sport and MP for childhood and Bisley. Mr. Rupert Campbell black
39:10You've had a varied career haven't you what first attracted you to politics?
39:15Athletes make good politicians
39:16Showjumping taught me how to think on my feet and remain unfazed under scrutiny
39:21Do you get on with the prime minister?
39:24I hold her in enormously high esteem
39:26Byron Thatcher is the daughter of a greengrocer
39:28She went to a grammar school as did Norman Tebbit, Cecil Parkinson
39:32The Conservative Party has changed
39:34And it's Mrs. Thatcher who has changed it
39:38So why do you think she keeps you around?
39:40Camera one over to you
39:41I hope she thinks I'm good at my job
39:45Do aristocrats make good politicians?
39:48Plenty of them have
39:49My family has a strong sense of moral duty
39:51I inherited that with the house
39:54Ah, noblesse oblige
39:56If you like
39:57My Latin's not what it used to be
40:01But with your privileged background
40:03How can you understand the difficulties faced by the man on the street?
40:08I can't help the circumstances of my birth
40:10It's not what you've got, it's what you do with it
40:17Now your tenure as minister for sport has been controversial
40:22If you're talking about football
40:23Then the hooligans are a tiny minority
40:26Well, you have taken a notoriously light touch approach to policing the game
40:30The poor swords are out of work
40:32Their fathers are out of work
40:34Often their grandfathers too
40:35Out of the sheer frustration at not winning, they resort to violence
40:38I think we should try to understand the vandals
40:40Sounds almost socialist
40:42Although some people might call you a vandal
40:45Of women
40:47Horses, marriages
40:49Still
40:50Adultery must prepare you well
40:52For life within the Conservative Party
40:56I'm sorry
40:57You know, sneaking around
40:58Lying, betrayal
41:00Sexual degeneracy
41:01I'm no longer married
41:03Yeah, but you were
41:04For six years
41:05And yet throughout your marriage
41:06Your affairs were common knowledge
41:07I mean one glass of shape here
41:09Has described you as
41:10Rather a nasty virus
41:12That everyone's wife caught sooner or later
41:14Well, if he'd seen his wife
41:15It's definitely later
41:21Christ, he really has an arsehole, isn't he?
41:24And that's the break in five
41:26And that's time for a break
41:28Three
41:28You're winding up, Declan
41:30Two
41:31And we're out
41:37Clear!
41:37And we're back on in three minutes
41:42Rupert, there's somebody here to see you
41:45Ooh
41:53I tell you what are you doing here?
41:55You need to go
41:55Just walk out
41:58Your father's not the first old socialist
42:00You've tried to catch me out
42:01Whatever you're worried about
42:02It's already out there
42:03No
42:04I know him
42:05He's saving the worst for later
42:07When he wants something
42:09He's ruthless
42:10He'll do anything
42:11I mean he's
42:12He's just like you
42:13Exactly
42:15Minister, we need you back
42:16I'll set the brakes almost over
42:17Just walk out the building with me
42:19Minister
42:21Please
42:32Five seconds and we're back
42:33Where the fuck is he?
42:36Five
42:36Jackson, you're gonna have to ad lib
42:38Four
42:40Three
42:43Three
42:45Two
42:46One
42:48Two
42:49Two
42:50Three
42:50Two
42:51Three
42:52Three
42:54Two
42:54One
42:55Two
42:56Don't tell me wrong
42:57Welcome back
42:58You know what this reminds me of?
43:01Um, being back on the circuit
43:03Having an opponent
43:04Knowing that I can make a tiny mistake
43:06And it might all be over
43:07It's exhilarating
43:08This is an interview
43:09There's no winner
43:11That's not true though, is it?
43:14He wants to beat me
43:18He's trying to distract him
43:20Now's the time, Declan
43:21Two of the guests
43:22Oh really?
43:23Yeah, most celebrities are scared
43:25That I'll
43:27Find out something exposing about you
43:29Something's wrong
43:30The more awful things you do
43:32The more the public seem to love you
43:33Well, who am I to argue with public opinion?
43:36So you don't deny it?
43:38What's that?
43:39That you've done awful things
43:41I have
43:42You're right
43:45But isn't that what we do?
43:49We?
43:50Men like us
43:51I am nothing like you
43:54Really?
43:55You're cold
43:57You have had the best education money can buy
44:00Yet you remain a Philistine
44:02You barely see your children
44:04You pick up women just because you can
44:06But you're still fundamentally alone
44:08And when they can't fill that emptiness inside you
44:11You discard them
44:13Despite your gold medals and your money
44:16You are a lonely man
44:17Rattling around a huge empty manor
44:20And that's who you likely end your days
44:21You behave like a man with no secrets and no shame
44:25Well
44:27There is one thing I'd like to discuss with you
44:30You're right, I'm a rake
44:37A liar
44:39A cheat
44:41If there was something I wanted I pursued it
44:43I didn't care about anybody else
44:44My horses, my horses, my teammates, my wife
44:47But we're still alike
44:48I very much doubt that
44:50You're the best in the world at what you do
44:52Flattery will get you nowhere, Mr. Copperblank
44:53I remember what that was like
44:54Being the best
44:55And what I was willing to do to stay there
44:59What are you
45:02Willing to do?
45:07A family
45:10To yourself
45:11To yourself
45:21I'm bored of you tickling each other's balls
45:23They can get the fucking cat out of the bag
45:30You're right
45:34I'm a workaholic
45:39And when I'm consumed by something
45:44I can be, um
45:48I can be a
45:49I can be a
45:49A monster
45:53Yeah
45:57You're probably a better husband than I was
46:01After all, you're still married
46:04I don't know
46:06I think I'm a pretty bad husband
46:13Do you think you've ever been in love?
46:26No
46:30That's my fault
46:32My ambition hasn't left room for much else
46:35Do you think that'll ever change?
46:42The fucker isn't gonna do it
46:44Well, even if he doesn't destroy Rupert
46:45This could still be a good show
46:46Tell me about, um
46:48Tell me about your childhood
46:51Pull the transmission
46:52Let's just see where this goes
46:53You value your job!
46:54Pull the fucking transmission
46:56No, because this is my show
46:57Cut the transmission
46:58No
46:59Do that to me
47:00No
47:01Give me that!
47:02Cameron!
47:03Come on!
47:04For fuck's sake!
47:05I don't know
47:05Trust me
47:08Listen, you arrogant little Irish prick
47:10Either you destroy the fucker
47:11Or I'm gonna come down there
47:12And pull you off the floor myself
47:14There's no point, Tony
47:15He's already taken his earpiece out
47:16He can't hear you
47:17If it's any consolation
47:19We've made some really great television
47:21This would've worked
47:22If you'd just done
47:23Your fucking job!
47:27Who do you trust?
47:31Who do you count on?
47:39Who do you count on?
47:41Dogs
47:43I, um, I, um
47:45Much prefer dogs to people
47:50I'd give anything to see my old labyrinth or badger again
47:56He was a good dog
47:57He was a good dog
48:00Aww
48:08So, which of your many sporting achievements was the hardest one?
48:15Which was the hardest?
48:17The King's Cup
48:17The...
48:18The Olympic gold
48:19The World Championship
48:20Well
48:22None of them
48:24The hardest thing?
48:26The...
48:27The thing that nearly killed me
48:29Yeah
48:34Was giving it all
48:46Ladies and gentlemen
48:47Mr. Rupert Campbell Black
48:50Come, sir
48:59Thanks, sir
49:00Hey, there they are
49:01Give a drink
49:01Woo!
49:03Woo!
49:04Woo!
49:06Woo!
49:07Woo!
49:08Woo!
49:12Congratulations, darling
49:13It was...
49:15Great TV as always
49:25Did you like the show?
49:29Yeah
49:30No
49:34No
49:34No
49:38No
49:38No
49:38No
49:40No
49:41No
49:41No
49:41Sorry, Lord B
49:43Didn't expect to see you there
49:45Thought you'd be down bar sinister by now
49:47Celebrating with Declan and Rupert
49:55Great show tonight, by the way
49:56Best yet
50:07The rest of your desk
50:14Of the way
50:15To be honest
50:15At least
50:17You've seen it
50:19You've seen it
50:19Right
50:20I can'telt
50:25You've
50:26do it But You've
50:28I want you to stay away from Taggy.
50:32She's young enough to be her daughter.
50:39Yeah, of course.
50:42Good.
50:50Drink?
50:51No, no. I'm taking Maude home.
50:57What was it that you had on me?
51:00What?
51:02It was just Bluffin'.
51:08This is Chloe Oakley, ladies and gentlemen.
51:10No, my name!
51:12The sirens are screaming and the fires are howling way down in the valleys of night.
51:18There's a man in the shadows with a gun in his eye and a blade shining all so bright.
51:24There's evil in the air and there's thunder in the sky.
51:27And the killer's on the bloodshot streets.
51:31Going down in the tunnels where the devil arrives at once.
51:34I never saw a young boy down in the mountains.
51:36See, I told you it was all going to be okay.
51:40You're going to dance?
51:41I haven't.
51:44Oh, baby, you're the only thing in this whole world.
51:47That's a pure love.
51:47I'd love to, but...
51:51I have to go.
51:52I'm sorry.
51:53I don't know.
51:53I don't know.
51:54I don't know.
51:56I don't know.
51:57I've got to make it out now before we find a crack of dawn.
52:02We've got to make the most of our one night together.
52:05When it's over, you know, we'll both be so alone.
52:11Come on, man.
52:13Like a battle of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes.
52:18Come on, man.
52:19When the night is over, like a battle of hell, I'll be gone, gone, gone, gone.
52:25Like a battle of hell, I'll be gone when the morning comes.
52:30When the night is over, like a battle of hell, I'll be gone when the night comes.
52:32When the day is down and the sun goes down and the moonlight's shining through.
52:36I'll be like a sinner before the gates of heaven.
52:44I'll come calling all back to you.
52:52I didn't pay.
52:56I'm going to hit the highway like a batter and wham, or a silver black fan on by.
53:01Or when the middle is hot and the injured is hungry, I'm a whore come to see the light.
53:07Nothing in the balls and it's rotten your heart, and everything is stunning at all.
53:14And nothing in the rocks and nothing in the rolls, and nothing's ever worth the cost.
53:21I'll be down if I never get up, and really I'm down if I do.
53:26I can't have a beat, I've got the light in my heart.
53:30I can't have a breath of hell, I can't have a breath of hell.
53:48The falconry?
53:50Oh, hello.
53:53Right, yes, of course.
53:55Tell whoever it is to fuck off.
53:57I would, darling.
54:01Muddy's Margaret Thatcher.
54:15The Prime Minister.
54:40She wants to visit the station and do an interview of her own.
54:43How wonderful. A real coup.
54:46That's great news.
54:50And all thanks to Rupert, I suppose.
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