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00:01It's frustrating the hell after a bit of a moment because we're going nowhere.
00:04The customers are nowhere to be seen.
00:06How many's booked?
00:07Non-garden.
00:08Nothing at all?
00:09No.
00:09Chances of walk-in, perhaps?
00:11Slim.
00:12The kitchen's down to two staff and the money has nearly run out.
00:17I'm going in to identify the problems.
00:20I'll find out if the market's there.
00:22How much did you pay for that?
00:23I could pay a lot, wouldn't you?
00:26If the team are pulling together.
00:27You can take a fucking penalty.
00:28And if the head chef is trued up enough.
00:31You're taking the piss, you know.
00:34I've got just one week to turn this restaurant into a viable business.
00:39The honeymoon's over.
00:40Got to start making profit now.
00:50Next to its posh neighbours, Ilkley and Skipton, sits Silsdon.
00:54A little working-class town, yet to make its mark on the culinary map of Britain.
00:59Lots of fish bars, cafes, quite a quaint little place.
01:04A little small Yorkshire town.
01:07Bonaparte's wine bar and basement restaurant on the high stream was taken over by its current owner just over a
01:12year ago.
01:13In her time, Sue Ray has sold everything from donkey rides to cavity wall insulation.
01:21But the restaurant business is totally new to her, and so far, the locals aren't biting.
01:26Good afternoon.
01:27Good afternoon.
01:28Good afternoon.
01:28Sue?
01:28It is, yes.
01:29Nice to meet you.
01:30Likewise.
01:31So, how's it going?
01:32A bit quieter today.
01:33How many did you have in for lunch?
01:35About two.
01:36Two, ready?
01:37That's it.
01:38And last night?
01:39Last night, I think we did.
01:4122 again.
01:42That's all.
01:43Two customers the whole night?
01:45Two customers the whole night, yeah.
01:46Unfortunately, it's just died a death.
01:49Absolute death.
01:50The stark truth is that two-thirds of restaurants don't survive past their first birthday, and as things stand, Sue's
01:56in danger of adding to those statistics.
02:00As a last resort, she's placed all her trust in a 21-year-old head chef.
02:05Together, they believe that fine dining will guarantee Bonaparte's a brighter future.
02:10It's like being an artist, you know what I mean? You just start from nothing and create something, so I
02:15think that's why I love being a chef.
02:17From a humble start five years ago washing dishes, Tim has had a meteoric rise.
02:22Obviously, I would like a couple of restaurants, maybe three, being Leeds and London, New York, you know, wherever, just
02:30big cities, you know, so that's my main ambition, and obviously to make a lot of money.
02:35Tim's ultimate dream is to become a TV chef, but for now, he's embracing his first opportunity to run his
02:42own kitchen.
02:44And how did you find Tim?
02:45He found me. He knew I'd been struggling with chefs and lack of them, and he's very ambitious.
02:51He must be fucking good if he's a head chef at 21, no? Either that or he's a fucking good
02:55bullshitter.
02:57Tim?
02:57Pleasure to meet you, sir.
02:58Likewise.
02:59And?
03:00Just pleasure, Lee.
03:01Lee. So you're the head chef?
03:02Yeah.
03:03And you're the, well, you're obviously going to be the second chef, there's only two of you. Busy lunch?
03:08No.
03:08No?
03:09Absolutely not.
03:10No.
03:10I didn't think so. Were you standing there twiddling your thumbs? No?
03:14Sue's food takings are a dismal £200 a week. She should be clearing at least ten times that, but she's
03:21not even covering Tim's wages, let alone food costs and overheads.
03:25Chefs can't get excited unless there's customers to cook for.
03:28I'll never know how good they are unless there's any customers in the fucking restaurant.
03:32Err, Tim, how many's booked?
03:34Non-garden.
03:36Nothing at all?
03:36No.
03:37Chances of walk-ins, perhaps?
03:39Slim.
03:40Don't want to see you under a little bit of pressure tonight.
03:42Right.
03:42It's five to six. I want you to get out on the street, go knock on a few doors, and
03:49invite
03:49some locals to dinner. Get your coats on and fuck off for some customers.
03:52That's good, sir, that way.
03:54If the customers won't come in off their own free will, these two young chefs are going
03:58to have to go and drag them in.
04:00Excuse me. We'd like to invite you for a free meal.
04:03Fine dining requires the ultimate in presentation, surroundings and service.
04:08I've just had one.
04:09You've just had one.
04:10But most of all, it requires faultless food.
04:14You just need the people coming in now.
04:17Sorry.
04:17It's like a big cake. You've got all the ingredients, and you can mix it. You've just got to find
04:22the
04:22right consistency to make it rise.
04:24You'll go.
04:25You'll go.
04:26OK.
04:26I'll see you there.
04:27Cheers.
04:27Cheers.
04:28The reputation of this place can't be that great.
04:31Even with free food from the fine dining menu on offer, they've only managed to pull in 11 guests.
04:37For any head chef, this would be a walk in the park.
04:40First order, two pigeon, main course, one venison, one bro.
04:43I can't remember the problem.
04:44Where do the tickets go?
04:45Um, well, I just put them there, because we never really get enough to worry about it.
04:48Oh, fuck me. That's nice.
04:50Who's doing what? Who's doing the fish?
04:52I'll do the fish.
04:52And what would you like to do tonight?
04:54Uh, I'll do venison.
04:56What I'm trying to say is how the fuck do you organise your kitchen?
04:59Oh, Lee, take care of the hot starters. I'll do the cold starters. You do the fish, I'll do the
05:02meat.
05:02We jump onto the puddings together.
05:03Usually if it's busy, then Lee will stand here and I'll do this one.
05:06Right.
05:06And then just, when I'm not doing anything, then I'll just jump on and help them out.
05:09You know how to organise?
05:11Within reason.
05:12Within reason. Okay, here we go.
05:13Where did you put red bark, Lee?
05:16With the first orders in, now I can really see what's going on in the kitchen.
05:24What was that?
05:25Oh, I just trashed a load of balls.
05:28You better send the bread first, don't you?
05:30Yeah.
05:32Never mind fine dining.
05:33They can't even get the bread right.
05:35It's fucking frozen.
05:36Get it back in the oven.
05:39Are the pigeons ready?
05:40Yes.
05:41We're about to put them in the bin, because the bread's frozen, the pigeons are cooked,
05:44and the fucking bread's not even out there.
05:48And if you toss that fucking cabbage once more, I'm going to ram it up your arse, okay?
05:51Yeah, can we, yeah, everything you turn around in.
05:55Yeah, let's go, come on.
05:56Even when the kitchen's busy, you should be looking to get the starters out within 10 minutes of receiving the
06:01order.
06:01Thank you very much.
06:02These poor souls have waited half an hour for their pigeon breasts with mushroom ravioli.
06:08And that's not the only problem.
06:10Tim, you made the ravioli?
06:11Yes.
06:13It's burnt.
06:14Do you not taste that there?
06:15No.
06:16Smell it, then.
06:18You honestly can't taste that burnt?
06:20But now you point it out, yeah.
06:23Get a shit in the bin.
06:24This is really worrying.
06:26A head chef who can't even taste his own foods burnt.
06:29He's not going to win any prizes for his control of the kitchen, either.
06:32And there's only two of them in here.
06:34Oh, it's more legal chair.
06:36I need a leg, but...
06:37Okay, can you hear that?
06:38Yeah, yeah, yeah.
06:38Can you hear that?
06:38Hold on, hold on, come in.
06:39They're buzzing.
06:40They're buzzing in the background.
06:41That's the veg in the microwave that should have gone with the main course four minutes ago.
06:47Come on, Tim.
06:48Get the fucking things out.
06:52For some, an hour's wait is just too much.
06:56Desperate to keep her staff costs down, Sue has got a handful running the bar upstairs and seems
07:01blissfully unaware of the farce that's taking place in the basement.
07:06Kitchen's a disaster.
07:08A disaster beyond belief.
07:10The blind eating the blind and the left arm not knowing what the right arm's doing.
07:14And you want 50, 60 seats filled down there.
07:18And they've got 11 customers in for dinner and up to their eyeballs in shitter.
07:22I mean, real shit.
07:26Everything's going in these cutters.
07:27For some bizarre reason, they think that rings is the sort of ultimate fine dining experience,
07:33but I don't understand what the hell's going on there.
07:36I don't know.
07:37All I know is I'm not making money, so I don't know what they're at or where they're coming from.
07:42But it's Sue's business and she should be in charge.
07:48Look at the fucking mess, huh?
07:52I've never seen such hard work for 11 guests.
07:54No.
07:56It doesn't make you feel good, does it?
07:57No, not really.
08:01I've got just one week to make a constructive impact on Bonaparte.
08:05But by day two, I'm clutching at straws to find any positives to build on.
08:11Sue lacks focus and has clearly lost control.
08:14The kitchen's such a tip.
08:16It's a health hazard.
08:17And worst of all, the head chef and his mate just aren't up to scratch.
08:21I must be missing something.
08:25Gentlemen, Tim, sing to the dish.
08:29Scallops.
08:30Scallops.
08:30Can't wait to see it.
08:32Nearly every successful restaurant has a dish that it's renowned for.
08:35I'm hoping that by cooking his, Tim will produce something truly memorable,
08:39something truly worthy of a place on a fine dining menu.
08:45I'm not sure.
08:46Signature dish, which is scallops with deep fried powder and black pudding sauce hollandaise.
08:51Mm-hmm.
08:53Certainly looks okay.
08:57What do you think?
08:59Oh.
09:03He's got to be sick.
09:07He's only gone and given me a rancid scallop.
09:13Someone get him a drink.
09:14Fucking shit.
09:16How can you eat that?
09:18Oh.
09:19If you knew they were off, why didn't you say?
09:21No, I didn't.
09:22I didn't know they were off.
09:24They're fucking minging.
09:27Do you not taste that?
09:28I do now, yeah.
09:30It took a while to go out.
09:35I know what he means.
09:36I feel sick of my cell now.
09:38It's, um, it's grim.
09:41It's fucking grim.
09:43And it's out of order.
09:45Well, I didn't realise they were fucking off.
09:48So, you know, I suppose it's my fault, really.
09:53That could kill someone.
09:56That's the bottom line.
10:00It's in the kitchen.
10:02Total lack of direction for the management.
10:04And last but not least, they've tried their best to kill me with a rotten scallop.
10:09What the fuck are you playing at?
10:12Sorry, Shane.
10:13Well, it's not about being fucking sorry.
10:15You shouldn't be in a fucking kitchen if you don't know what's right and what's wrong in that sense.
10:19I mean, this is basic fucking cooking, you know that?
10:23I need to check if there's any more surprises lurking in Tim's kitchen.
10:27Let's look in here.
10:29Where are they from?
10:31Uh, Saturday.
10:32Saturday.
10:33Would you use them today?
10:34No.
10:35No, so what the fuck are they doing in the fridge?
10:39It looks like rabbit shit, that one.
10:40That's just some lentils.
10:42Oh, this one's stuck to the fucking glass.
10:45It looks like sheep's turd that's been infested with ants.
10:50We've got fucking fur on fucking potatoes.
10:53When's that from?
10:54I can't tell you.
10:55What are we doing with them?
10:56Throw them in a bin.
10:57Throw them in a bin.
10:58But you keep them in the fridge for two days before you throw them in a bin.
11:01No, but do you see what I'm trying to get at?
11:03Yeah.
11:03Does it make fucking sense?
11:05Yes or no?
11:05No.
11:06So all this fucking fridge is jam-packed with shit,
11:08and we're standing here saying,
11:09I'm going to put in a bin.
11:10I'm going to put a bin.
11:11Well, get them in the fucking bin.
11:14This whole kitchen is disgustingly filthy.
11:17In allowing things to fester, Tim's putting Sue's business at risk.
11:22Fucking hell.
11:23Can we get that one cleaned out as well, yeah?
11:24Yes.
11:25Just one bad thing can contaminate the whole fridge.
11:28Tim may as well just chuck money out the window.
11:31A health inspector would have a field day.
11:35Do you know what?
11:35I'm fucking gobsmacked.
11:37You know that?
11:38I've got a good fucking mind to get a hold of fucking Sue and just tell her to
11:41fucking close the place for me.
11:42You know that?
11:43Because this is the fucking pits.
11:44You should be ashamed.
11:48Rock bottom.
11:49I've never seen anything like this in my entire fucking life.
11:51You know that?
11:51Because this is a fucking embarrassment to catering.
11:58Let alone fucking ringed out fine dining.
12:01Let's move, huh?
12:04Not the best start it could have been, were it?
12:06To be honest.
12:08Fucking, like, it's all right.
12:11You know, sort it out.
12:13The picture's becoming painfully clear.
12:16Tim's completely unqualified to do this job.
12:18He's blagged his way in and Sue's been naive enough.
12:21To take him on.
12:23When you do put so much, like, hard work into creating stuff and then you don't, you don't
12:29use it, you know, then you get bored.
12:32That's what's done.
12:33Like footballers playing with no football, innit?
12:35They just run around.
12:36What's the point?
12:36They'll sit on their arses after a while, won't they?
12:38That's how it is.
12:41All this ingredient's in there and no customers to send it to, and yet none of them have been
12:46communicating with each other, you know, that's got to go tomorrow.
12:49Can we turn that into a fish pie?
12:50Can we do something with it?
12:51But no, the blind leading the blind, and every bloody ingredient in that fridge is money, your money.
12:58Yeah.
12:59Sue has no idea what's going on in her own kitchen.
13:03Key to any successful restaurant is regular communication between management and the head chef.
13:10I really need to get these two talking.
13:13Well, Gordon just had a word with me and said, er, he's not very impressed.
13:16We need to keep the place clean and everything tidy, otherwise I can be sued.
13:22In which case, I'm out of business and you're out of a job.
13:26I realise that.
13:26Yeah, I know, and I've technically had to take it on board as well.
13:31Well, you know, I just knew she had to stick her R in.
13:34She wasn't going to say, I told you so, but that's what she was doing.
13:37Yeah, fair enough, she had a little dick, so what the fucker, you know what I mean?
13:42Relations between Tim and Sue clearly aren't healthy.
13:47Lee, yeah? Goggles, gloves.
13:51Before we do any fucking cooking in here now, I want the place absolutely spotless.
13:56Goggles on, please. That's it, show me, you handsome bastard.
14:01It's not just the kitchen that's at fault here.
14:03Any clued-up restaurateur knows it's damn stupid to attempt fine dining in a basement,
14:08let alone one that's beneath a busy bar.
14:15Sue's panic is obvious when you see the weird mix of fine dining menus and scrappy handwritten
14:21boards advertising TV-named cabarets. Bonaparte's image has clearly confused potential customers.
14:28She was trying really to think to do too many things, to be all things to all people.
14:33So she was trying to have, you know, live music and have an internet cafe.
14:40And also the impression that you got when you came in was she'd be shuffling around in her
14:44leggings and her slippers. I don't think she's going to attract the people that she wants to attract.
14:50It's not as nice as the one that's something to cross the road.
14:54The newly opened competition just 200 yards away has been fully booked since it opened.
14:59So the pundits are definitely out there.
15:02It's time to find a clear identity for Bonaparte and make a clean start.
15:08Valentine's night is just four days away.
15:11It's one of the most important nights of the Russian calendar and it can make or break a new venture.
15:16If we're going to reinvent Bonaparte's image, we've got to do it now.
15:20But will Sue accept the drastic change of direction I'm about to propose?
15:26It's clearly not going to work as a fine dining experience.
15:31Does Tim know how much pressure you're under financially?
15:33I say flippantly, you know, I'll end up going bankrupt if you're not careful,
15:36but I didn't realise how true that is.
15:38Yeah. I mean, how close are you in real terms?
15:41In real terms, um, probably. I've got probably three months maximum.
15:50Jesus.
15:51You know, I'm willing to take constructive criticism.
15:54I mean, it's not working, is it? Otherwise we'd have more people in.
15:56The basics are wrong. I mean, the basics are so, so wrong and it's, you know, it's embarrassing.
16:02It's got to go back to comfort, rustic, easygoing food.
16:06It's got to become more of a bistro because the place oozes that kind of style.
16:11I know Sue's convinced, but if I'm to flush out Tim's pretensions to fine dining,
16:15once and for all, I need to provide him with evidence that he can't fail to take on board.
16:21Gentlemen. Tim.
16:23Right, this is a sea of scallops with a baby black pudding,
16:26with a nice hollandaise cayenne pepper sauce and a bit of deep-fried parmesan.
16:31It looks like potato, but I'm not sure.
16:33First time you had a scallop.
16:34Mmm.
16:35And this is a beef and ale pie.
16:37I'll have a bit of bass. I'm a patient.
16:39Bassman.
16:42Yeah?
16:43Beautiful.
16:44The scallops and the black pudding and the palmer ham.
16:47How much do you pay for that?
16:48No, I want them to pay a lot.
16:49What do you want?
16:50Well, I don't know.
16:51Scallops are dear anyway, aren't they?
16:53So, 8.50.
16:548.50?
16:55And what would you pay for the pie?
16:58Oh, about £8.
16:59About £8.
17:01£7.95.
17:02Oh, I want a fire off.
17:03An £8.95. Well done.
17:06Which one do you prefer?
17:07Well, I like the pie, personally.
17:09Well, I like the meat. I'm definitely a meat lover.
17:12Thank you. Gentlemen.
17:14One nil, you fucker.
17:16All the lots.
17:17Tim needs to learn a few basic restaurant rules.
17:20If you don't know your market, you'll never get bums on seats.
17:24I would probably go with this one.
17:26Two fucking nil. Next, please.
17:27Have you got two seconds?
17:28Here's another one.
17:29Have you got two seconds?
17:30Restaurants without customers will go bust.
17:32I don't like scallops.
17:34You don't like scallops?
17:35Three nil, you don't.
17:37Excuse me.
17:38Put another way, Tim needs to start producing food
17:41that people of Silsen won't be able to resist.
17:44That is gorgeous, sir.
17:45I would pay that for that.
17:46We're low on that.
17:47You wouldn't pay £8.95 for that?
17:48In the major cities, yeah, I'd expect to.
17:51But that is very, very reasonable and delicious.
17:55Mm.
17:55Are you listening?
17:56I am listening.
17:57Bistro?
17:58That's where we're going.
17:59Yeah, fine dining.
18:06Who's going in for it?
18:10It's not bad news, you know that?
18:11It's fucking good news.
18:12It's good news, great news.
18:13Yeah, and it's clear, huh?
18:15The writing's on the wall.
18:17She's come to the end of the tither up there, that's pretty obvious, she's had enough, huh?
18:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:50A fucking omelette.
18:52A fucking omelette.
18:52Show me something that I can eat and be happy with.
18:57An omelette is probably one of the first things you learn to cook at catering college.
19:30When was the last time you cooked a omelette?
19:31Overcooked.
19:31Slightly.
19:33It tastes like fucking rubber.
19:35I'm both overcooked.
19:35That was shit, by any standard.
19:40You're a head chef.
19:43You're taking the piss, you know that?
19:51Yes, got it.
19:55Gives you nothing back.
19:57And the whole idea of telling him off is to sort of help train him and educate him, but
20:03clearly not used to being told what to do.
20:07Right, make me another omelette. Fuck it. Let's go.
20:13Any chef worth his soul should be able to source good quality ingredients at a good price.
20:20The locals already think Bonaparte's is too expensive. They want value for money.
20:25For Sue to start making any sort of profit, Tim needs to be clever about what he buys.
20:31I have two baking sandwiches, please, and two cups of tea.
20:35He needs to wake up to the real world.
20:38He's clearly in need of some inspiration for his new bistro-style menu.
20:42Thanks, Tony. Thank you.
20:43That's your one, that one.
20:45Don't spill it on those new trainers, will you?
20:46No, try not to.
20:47The Chinese tongues.
20:49Tonight, we've got a table of four in.
20:51I want you, okay, to buy starter, main course, and pudding.
20:5620 quid.
20:57Five quid per head.
20:59Right.
20:59I want to see how clever you are with that money.
21:01Right.
21:08We're making some French onion soup today, so we're looking for some, like, sort of rustic, like, baguettes.
21:16All we're doing is we get here and this window, that's it.
21:19Can I ask for a look at one?
21:20Can I have a look at that?
21:22Clearly, Tim's never bought anything from a market before in his life.
21:25Yeah, never buy them.
21:26I'll probably buy them.
21:26Discount for the trade?
21:27Any discount for the trade?
21:29Any discount for the trade?
21:30What, a pound?
21:30Do you ask me that?
21:31I've got an army with that.
21:33It's always worth bargain before you know that.
21:35So when you're on the telephone in the morning, you're checking with your suppliers, and you
21:38want to know how much the fish is, you can always bargain with them.
21:40I bet you don't choose money this way, do you?
21:43I will do from now on.
21:44I'm fucking right you will.
21:46Tim's menus are packed with expensive fish and meat cuts.
21:49He needs to open his eyes to the tasty, less expensive options on offer.
21:53Yeah.
21:54What's that next to the pig's head?
21:57What is that there?
22:00That's oxtail.
22:01Oxtail.
22:02You ever used oxtail before?
22:03No.
22:03What would you do with a brazen steak?
22:04I don't know really.
22:06Maybe barbecue.
22:08It'd be quite nice on barbecue, you know, when she gets them going outside.
22:11Brazen steak means fucking brazen.
22:13So it's telling you what to do with it.
22:15So what would you do with it?
22:16Brazen.
22:16Like a stew.
22:17Yeah.
22:18Can't put that on the fucking barbecue.
22:19Just looking for some chicken breasts.
22:21Some nice chicken breasts.
22:23There you go.
22:23Look, he's showing you.
22:24It's nice.
22:25Check it.
22:25Have a look.
22:27How much is that?
22:29How much is chicken per breast?
22:31Yeah, that was it.
22:32£1.12 there.
22:33It's a lot less than I get it from my butcher.
22:35How much is that?
22:35Is it?
22:36Your butcher's more expensive?
22:37Yeah.
22:38Jesus.
22:39Four of them, please.
22:40Any discount for trade?
22:42Discount for trade.
22:43How much was it?
22:44Four pounds, well.
22:45Four quid.
22:46Four pounds, well.
22:46That's my boy.
22:47Lovely.
22:48That was in for me.
22:49Cheers.
22:49Can I have a bill, please?
22:51A receipt?
22:52With the AT.
22:53With the AT.
22:55You'd come again, yeah?
22:56Absolutely.
22:57The more they see you, the more banter you have with them, the more bargains you get
23:01with them, and the cheaper it becomes, you know?
23:03Yeah.
23:04Yeah.
23:06Oh, definitely.
23:06Then the restaurant starts to make a bit of fucking money.
23:08Yeah.
23:09Get the picture?
23:10Yeah, I get it.
23:11Thank fuck for that.
23:14How much did we spend?
23:15Just over 12 quid.
23:1712 quid, fantastic.
23:18For four portions?
23:18Brilliant.
23:19Okay, French onion soup.
23:20It costs 75 pence to make a portion.
23:23How much does it go on the menu for?
23:25You times it by four.
23:27And that should cover everything.
23:282.95 for a bowl of soup.
23:29And we've made money on that.
23:31And one thing we're not going to do with the ingredients we bought this morning
23:33is waste anything.
23:34We waste nothing.
23:37With the Valentines at Stravaganza just two days away,
23:40I'm under no illusions as to what we're up against.
23:42Fucking lint dick in the kitchen, you know that?
23:44Go get some fucking energy.
23:46Fucking 21, for God's sake.
23:47You should be getting fucking 12 hard-ons a day.
23:50Not one a fucking month.
23:52Let's go.
23:53Lee's got a bit of nous, but I've got to hold Tim's hand every step of the way.
23:57Are you sure you want to be a chef?
23:59Yes.
24:00You are, yeah?
24:00In.
24:01Right into the centre.
24:02This is our one chance to see if Tim can cope with his new bistro-style food.
24:06I'm going to turn the knife out, put it back in, and bring it to the edge there.
24:11Yep.
24:13Gently, gently, gently, gently.
24:15Make love to it, don't fuck it.
24:18Outside leaves.
24:20Yeah.
24:20What do we do with them?
24:21You throw them away?
24:22Yeah, we usually throw them away, yeah.
24:24But before we let them loose on the paying customers, I've asked them to cook for four
24:28special people in the privacy of their own home.
24:31What I haven't told him is for his own family.
24:34You'd like to stir it into it hard.
24:36No, you leave it dangling on top, so it gets perfect.
24:39Of course you let it fucking stir inside.
24:42We've got soup, chicken, lemon meringue pie.
24:45Yeah.
24:46Let's go and surprise mum and dad, shall we?
24:47Let's go round to their house, and you cook their tea.
24:50Okay.
24:51Yeah.
24:51Cris de jus and the sauce for the chinkier.
24:54Um, I don't, I don't really know.
24:58I'm asking you, wouldn't you?
24:58Yeah, I don't, I don't think so.
25:00Good.
25:01Because the center is, is the sauce, the garlic sauce in the center.
25:05Fuck you, now.
25:07Hallelujah.
25:07We don't need a jus.
25:09We don't need any jus.
25:10Woo!
25:14Hello, Madge.
25:15How are you?
25:16Surprise.
25:17I hate to use Tim's folks as guinea pigs, but with the three-course meal already prepared,
25:21all Tim needs to do is reheat the soup and cook the kievs.
25:26Shall we get cracking again?
25:27Where's granddad?
25:28Granddad's in the food room.
25:30This should be a walkover, even for him.
25:34I'm going to leave it all to you.
25:35Yeah, you're busy.
25:38Don't break me show.
25:40He was always in the kitchen as a boy, wanting to help bake.
25:43Because he loves talking about it, doesn't he?
25:45Yes, yeah.
25:46But then he decided, whilst he was at school, that that's what he wanted to do,
25:50and he got himself a job in the kitchen, and it just went on from there.
25:54Told me that he was going to be a chef, and he was going to the
25:57good food show to meet Gary Rhodes, and off he went.
26:01Fantastic.
26:01Look what's happened.
26:02Yeah.
26:04Yeah.
26:04Oh, fuck, mate.
26:05What's that?
26:06Don't burn it a lot.
26:08Burn it.
26:09Don't burn it.
26:10Here we go.
26:15Sorry, keep you waiting.
26:16That's quite all right.
26:17He's ready.
26:18I'll get ground, I think.
26:20Let's not forget.
26:21Tim is a head chef.
26:35Don't forget your croutons.
26:38He's managed to fuck them.
26:40I was wearing his grand's house.
26:46Ladies first.
26:48This is some French onion soup.
26:51Minus the croutons.
26:53What are we going to do with this numphat?
26:55Look at that.
26:57Superb.
26:58Torched on the outside, and pink in the middle.
27:01As for the lemon meringue pie, it would get a better reception if he threw it at them.
27:08Tim's family wouldn't dream of criticising him.
27:10But the paying customers on Valentine's night won't be as forgiving.
27:16We've got 44 books on Saturday night.
27:20And you fucked it for four.
27:22What chance have you got for 44?
27:26I'm now starting to shit myself.
27:32It's my fourth day at Bowler Hearts.
27:34Tim's first attempt at cooking a simplified bistro meal
27:37may have impressed his granny, but he and I both know the awful truth.
27:42It was a spectacular flop.
27:46You're paid as a head chef, aren't you?
27:48Yeah.
27:49Do you think you should be a head chef?
27:52Not really.
27:53Thank fuck for that.
27:55Don't start crying.
27:56I'm not.
27:57While you look, you're about to fucking bubble.
28:03OK, so you're delighted with that, are you?
28:04Bookings for tomorrow night at Valentine's Cabaret are piling in.
28:08With the restaurant nearly booked to capacity, I'm trying my hardest to stay positive.
28:12That's fine, Mr Low. I'm sure he'll enjoy it.
28:15But with just a day to go, it'll take more than high energy drinks for these two to pull it
28:19off.
28:21When someone's been told off, the first thing you do in the kitchen is come back at 100 mile an
28:24hour.
28:26This guy disintegrates every time you tell him something.
28:28He just disappears into oblivion.
28:31And loses all sense of concentration.
28:33That little short span that he has.
28:35Why don't you swap the rolls around tomorrow?
28:37Why don't you become the sous chef and Lee becomes the head chef for tomorrow night?
28:43No answer.
28:44Whatever you want to do, Garth.
28:46It's your fucking kitchen!
28:49You're supposed to say bollocks.
28:51No, I'm the fucking chef.
28:53My name's Tim Gray.
28:54It's me on the menu.
28:55No?
28:58Yes or no?
29:00Yes.
29:05Maybe it's me.
29:06I should try the softly, softly approach.
29:08We've got a big night Saturday night.
29:10It's full.
29:10I think it's the first time since you've both been here that the place is full.
29:13OK?
29:14And whilst I'm here, you're not shafting me as well at the same time.
29:16You know that.
29:17We're going to work together.
29:18Over the next 15, 20 minutes, I want you both to think of something really simple, menu-wise.
29:24Three starters, three main courses, and three puddings.
29:26What do you think, Lee?
29:27Soup.
29:29Yeah?
29:30By passing some of the decision-making back to Tim, I'm hoping to build up his confidence
29:34and install some pride in his food.
29:36It's hard to write a simple menu when you've had your head up your arse for so long
29:40doing, trying to make fancy, silly food.
29:43That's the kind of stuff we're going for, innit?
29:45So, what have they come up with?
29:47The main course is liver and onions, mashed potato, macaroni cheese, fish and chips,
29:53mushy peas, Lancashire hotpot.
29:56Lancashire hotpot.
29:57That sounds nice.
29:57And you come up with your ideas together?
29:59Yeah, we would just flip through some books and thought, what's simple?
30:02And, you know, basically thought, what did we used to have at school?
30:05What did we like at school?
30:07And not forgetting, where are we?
30:08In Stilson, in Yorkshire.
30:14We're getting there, we're getting there.
30:18In devising this new menu, I'm aiming to take most of the pressure off Tim and Lee during service.
30:2390% of the food can be prepared and perfected a day in advance.
30:27Let's go, see if you can show, show me you can handle two pans at once.
30:31As long as it's made well, they can't fail to be a hit with the customers.
30:36There should be 15 things going on there all at the same time,
30:38coordination, understanding, medium, pink, is it well done, onions, roasted, thanks.
30:44In short, Bonaparte's new bistro menu is designed to be idiot-proof.
30:50Definitely identify them as vegetarians, yeah?
30:53Let's go, come on.
30:55So far, Tim's attitude towards Sue has been that of a stroppy teenager,
31:00rather than a respectful and supportive employee.
31:02I'm going to go on a tomato soup, a rustic tomato soup, yeah,
31:06and some little cheese food.
31:08That's probably a first he's actually come to us.
31:10I've had to run down and chase all the time.
31:13I don't know, I need this, and they, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, it'll come later.
31:16I say, I need it now.
31:17Well, basically, you just put them through some butter, crush them up.
31:21Today seems a lot better.
31:23I don't know what he's been doing to them down there, but it's certainly improving.
31:29In the week I've been here, I've hardly seen Tim or Lee sample or season anything they've made.
31:35No wonder their tasteless food is failing to woo the customers.
31:38Everything we do in this kitchen has to be tasted.
31:42I don't care if it's a fucking bread roll, a lemon meringue pie, or a chicken kiev.
31:47You have got to start tasting things.
31:51From now on, Bland is off the menu, and to teach these two a lesson,
31:55they'll never forget I'm resorting to dirty tactics.
31:59You know what a medium steak tastes like, yes?
32:03Does that taste like a sirloin, T-bone steak, or is it a rump steak?
32:12Sirloin. Sirloin.
32:14It tastes like sirloin.
32:17Here we go. Now for the pork.
32:19OK. Open up.
32:21OK. Tell me whether it's medium or is that well done?
32:24Medium.
32:25And? Long one.
32:27Well done. None of you got that right.
32:28Yes?
32:29Yes.
32:32Pork.
32:33Pork and fucking lamb.
32:36Fuck it now.
32:37You don't realise until someone blindfolded and feeds you that your palate's so...
32:45not active.
32:47Could have been worse.
32:49Could have been chicken.
32:51We would have looked like fucking idiots.
32:56Oh, shit!
32:57Sorry.
32:58Tim's had a week of non-stop grief from me.
33:01Whip, whip, whip, whip, whip.
33:02Put the bowl down.
33:04This boy has really tested my patience.
33:08All right, how do we know they're ready now?
33:11Oh, you can lift them upside down.
33:13Yeah.
33:13There you go.
33:14And I really don't know if any of it's sunk in.
33:17Well, I'd love to just get it and put it on.
33:21Shit!
33:22Oh!
33:22Oh, my God!
33:26But with more than 40 guests expected in just over two hours' time, he'll soon be tested to his absolute
33:32limits.
33:35Oh, fuck!
33:36I slipped!
33:37Oh, no, don't tell me.
33:38It was the mud.
33:39It was the mud.
33:42Can't even take a fucking penalty.
33:43I'll say this for Tim.
33:44He's no quitter.
33:45And I don't want to see him fail.
33:47But now he's got to prove he's master of his own kitchen.
33:51We're not leaving this as a drawer, you know that.
33:53Hey?
33:54In cooking, nobody draws.
33:56Ever.
33:57One thing's for sure.
33:58Tonight, he'll either sink or swim.
34:01Whoa!
34:04Yes!
34:06Whoo!
34:07Another two upstairs.
34:10Possibly.
34:10OK, good news.
34:11Good news.
34:11Another two.
34:12So we're up to 58 now.
34:14Sue's never had so many bookings.
34:16She's happened to move furniture out.
34:17Right, lift.
34:18To fit more tables in.
34:21You happy with that?
34:23Chicken Kiev with roasted vine tomatoes.
34:25T-bone steak with homemade chips.
34:28Because there's so many involved for dinner,
34:30I wouldn't stall them upstairs for too long.
34:33You're really going to dump us in it, big time.
34:34Crown cocktail, three bean salad with mustard dressing.
34:37What do you think?
34:39Ooh, very bistro.
34:40Yes, I like it.
34:41I hardly dare say it, but this place has got a real buzz about it.
34:46There's one thing missing.
34:47What do you like on all your menus?
34:50Oh, his name's not all that.
34:51Ah, bingo!
34:53Where should we put that?
34:55On the back or...?
34:55I don't want my name on it.
34:57We work as a team and it's a giant effort and bistro.
35:00You know, that's it.
35:02That's the most sensible thing you said to me all fucking wee.
35:04You know that.
35:09Every decent restaurant in the country is full on Valentine's night.
35:14The competition down the road is packed to the rafters.
35:17And for once, so is Bonaparte's.
35:21In a small town like Sealsdon, business thrives on word of mouth.
35:25And if tonight's a disaster, it could break Sue.
35:28I have got a fear that he will not be able to cope with the numbers.
35:33Especially when he's saying that 11's busy.
35:35I don't think so.
35:37So we'll see what he's made of.
35:40Tim has got to get this right.
35:42All right, two fruit upstairs, two soups, two chicken.
35:44OK, hey, six o'clock, first order's in.
35:48OK.
35:49Hello, chef.
35:50Yes.
35:51Well, what about it?
35:51Well, as I'll give it to Scott.
35:52Scott, first order in.
35:54Hey, are we going to let the kitchen board call out the tickets,
35:56or are you going to call them out?
35:57Come on.
35:58On order, two soups, two chicken, one creme brulee, one treacle tart.
36:03Let's go.
36:04Soup's made.
36:05Get it on to boil.
36:06Scottie, put some water in it.
36:08Please.
36:09Something's burning.
36:10What's that burning?
36:11It's just on the air.
36:12It's on the grill thing.
36:13It's not the croutons, yeah?
36:14No, it's not the croutons.
36:15Don't burn the croutons.
36:17I'm not burning croutons.
36:19The soup's on, yeah?
36:20Yeah.
36:20Pan on for the chicken?
36:21Not yet.
36:22I think we should put the pan on first, yeah?
36:24Start the chicken, and as they're eating the soup,
36:25the chicken's cooking, yeah?
36:27OK.
36:28Are you all right, yeah?
36:29Yeah, I'm fine.
36:30First order in, it's upstairs, and you're OK.
36:32Well, the pan's not on for the chicken, yeah?
36:36Don't burn the croutons.
36:38OK.
36:40All right, how long for that soup?
36:43Five pounds.
36:4545 seconds.
36:50Oh, fuck off with you, yeah?
36:52What the fuck are you doing?
36:54Out of the way.
36:56Young man.
36:58What are you doing?
37:01Slow down.
37:03Talk to him.
37:05Lee, can you send the two soup, please?
37:06Wait.
37:09Look at the croutons.
37:12Charcoal again.
37:14Oh, God, it's the first fucking order.
37:19What's the matter?
37:20Nothing.
37:21Well, you're cooking like an absolute twat.
37:24You know that.
37:24Yeah?
37:25Just take your time.
37:27Big deep breath, and talk to Lee a little bit.
37:30You're just on your own, spinning around, round and round,
37:33and just creating a fucking bedlam, yeah?
37:36Calm down.
37:37Get yourself organized, yeah?
37:39And control yourself.
37:40Now, fucking come back to me a little bit.
37:42Come back to me a bit, yes?
37:44I'm back.
37:45Fucking.
37:48Come on, Timmy.
37:49Fresh start, or we're going to go down like a sack of shit.
37:53That's better, Lee.
37:54Look at him.
37:55Look.
37:55Hey, nice and bright.
37:57Give us a smile.
37:59It's well done, isn't it?
38:00Yeah.
38:00Yeah, come on.
38:01Get in.
38:04Teamwork.
38:05Two minutes for some veg, Lee.
38:08So I can have two ovals out of there, Nate, please.
38:11On order, three-prong cocktail, one soup, one sirloin medium,
38:15one t-bone medium, one sirloin medium.
38:18So don't rub the stars.
38:20We've got a lot of stuff to get on here.
38:22Good.
38:23Communicate.
38:24Good.
38:25Not here too, just get some small lamb and you can jam eat it.
38:30How long for the veg?
38:31One and a half.
38:40Yummy, yeah.
38:42On order, one prawns, one beans, one Kiev, one sirloin, well done.
38:47One lemon, one brulee.
38:49All right, Scotty, to what you can have the two ovals out of here, please.
38:57Good.
38:58That's it.
38:58Now you're talking to the whole brigade now.
39:00Now you're talking to the team, which is fantastic.
39:02Keep it going, yes?
39:04When you stop talking, we're going to go, we're going to go down, yeah?
39:08Yeah.
39:09Hey, it's not quite right, but at least it's moving up.
39:13Medium with salad, that's a medium on it, so without salad.
39:15And that's a rare, yeah, without salad.
39:19Keep it together, yeah?
39:20Yeah.
39:20Yeah?
39:21Let's not get nervy.
39:22Food was excellent.
39:24It was, yeah, very enjoyable.
39:27It's what we expected to have, really.
39:28It was really tasty and really enjoyable.
39:31It's nice.
39:32How many more to come, please, Sue?
39:33Uh, there's another four.
39:35Four.
39:35I overbooked, actually.
39:36The local competition tonight has got 46 booked.
39:38If we do this last four, we've beaten them.
39:40Yeah?
39:41What does, yeah?
39:41Does that not just lift the morale up a little bit?
39:43Yeah?
39:43All right.
39:44T-bone medium, medium, medium, medium, medium, and a chicken.
39:47Ladies and gentlemen, showtime, cabaret.
39:51I'd like to introduce Tom Sawyer, who...
39:53After prawn cocktail, get some holidays on, yeah?
39:55Call service, please, Scotty.
39:57Take it away.
40:00One T-bone steak medium, and one chicken kia, please.
40:05And that's all going to table 12.
40:08Tell these two clothes, please.
40:11The time we did all that, and when he might slay,
40:17not in the middle of the shy way.
40:21Watch the colour, look.
40:22When it's brown, it's cooked.
40:24When it's black, it's cooked.
40:28I want one of them, I want one of them, I want one of them.
40:31All my wine's been.
40:34Watch the pastry, please.
40:36Pies.
40:37Veg first, veg first.
40:49Two sirloin, medium.
40:51It's not finished yet, but, yeah?
40:52Well done.
40:53Get the soup.
40:56Tim's gran and grandad are celebrating their 44th wedding anniversary.
41:01At last, Tim can repay them for the rubbish he served up a couple of nights ago,
41:06with a delicious, well-cooked meal.
41:10It was lovely, that steak.
41:12It was beautiful, too.
41:13Oh, I'd like to see it.
41:15Yeah, yeah.
41:15Brought back memories, that table, and steak.
41:17Did it?
41:18Yeah.
41:18Hey, do you hear what grandad said?
41:19Yeah, it's really nice.
41:20Brought back memories.
41:27You really surprised me tonight.
41:29And I'm really seriously over the moon that you didn't fuck it.
41:33I'm serious, huh?
41:34Yeah.
41:35Because for the first 15 minutes at 6 o'clock, you acted like the biggest twat in Britain,
41:39you know that?
41:40All over the shop.
41:41And you pulled it back together.
41:42And that wasn't me, that was you.
41:44And the feedback from them out there has been brilliant.
41:47What does that tell you?
41:48What does that put in there?
41:50I haven't had a service like that for a long time.
41:52And these stupid fucking illusions of grandeur,
41:55all this stupid fine dining crap that you're trying to do.
41:58It's gone.
41:59Do you understand?
42:00Yeah.
42:01Exactly where you are now.
42:02Yeah, yeah.
42:03Totally understand.
42:03Do you understand what you're capable of doing within this restaurant?
42:07Yes.
42:07Stop trying to take it beyond something it's never going to be.
42:10You'll fuck the restaurant and you'll fuck yourself.
42:13Big time.
42:14Mm-hm.
42:14To never forget tonight.
42:16You know when that shark bites
42:19With his teeth in
42:21Tonight, Sue's take-ins are a record 2,000 pounds.
42:29I thought the guys downstairs done absolutely brilliant.
42:32It's up to you now not to allow it to go back to where it was.
42:36I've been too soft.
42:38You have to be, yeah, exactly.
42:39And I'm glad you're saying it because that's what I was going to say next.
42:43And I've also allowed him to have his head too much.
42:48Yeah.
42:49I also think you've been confused to what you want.
42:52Yeah.
42:53Because you haven't been focused on one direction for the restaurant.
42:58Because you've been, you know, jumping all over the place.
43:01I agree, I agree.
43:01And that's part of a panic.
43:02Yeah.
43:03And that's wrong.
43:04And now tonight, it's clearly evident exactly what you need to do from this day onwards.
43:08And if he changes anything, I'll pickle his nuts.
43:15Head chef Tim Gray was a liability.
43:21I didn't realise they were fucking off.
43:23He couldn't even cook an omelette.
43:25You're taking the piss, you know that.
43:28In one gruelling week, we transformed Bonaparte from a failing fine dining restaurant into a buzzing bistro.
43:36With Tim sending out quality food to nearly 50 contented customers on Valentine's night.
43:44Yeah.
43:45But since I left, Sue's given Tim two written warnings over his attitude.
43:50Now I'm back, unannounced, to find out what is going on.
43:57Turn that fucking thing off.
43:59My God.
44:01What's going on?
44:02Chilling.
44:03Chilling?
44:04It's Friday night.
44:06It's 7.30.
44:06How many's booked?
44:07Four.
44:08Four.
44:08And you've got the music blaring away?
44:10Yeah, I'm just...
44:11Wesley.
44:11He's upstairs on the bar.
44:13He's in the bar.
44:14What the fuck is that in there?
44:16Mussels.
44:17You're not serving them, are you?
44:19Yeah.
44:20What are the fridges like?
44:23My God, oh my...
44:24What is that shit in there?
44:28That is mould and fur.
44:31Dear oh dear, so you haven't changed, have you?
44:34Oh, fucking hell.
44:36A whole week drumming into their thick skulls and it comes to this.
44:40Holy fuck.
44:42This is a living fucking nightmare.
44:46Nobody in this place is taking control and in this state, a health inspector would close them down without a
44:51second thought.
44:54Sir, I've got to show you this because it's part of your responsibility and this is your gaff.
44:59There you go.
44:59I should not be in.
45:00You didn't see this, Sue?
45:01No, I didn't actually.
45:02In fairness to Tim, it was doing okay.
45:05It seemed to be okay for the first three days and then it went.
45:09This is not right.
45:11This is, this is fucking miles away.
45:13This is a nightmare, you know that?
45:14Because there's more loss on top of more loss and more loss and more mould.
45:19That's what worries me because you need to touch that, you need to rub your finger on that,
45:24you need to go to a chip, you need to season something, you put your finger in the tomato soup
45:28and then they're all fucked.
45:30You've just contaminated the whole place and that's what really worries me.
45:33This kitchen is not fit to cook a fucking thing in right now.
45:39And that's your problem.
45:42I think I'd better just close and put due to refurbishment.
45:48And you should burn out a grocery, you know that?
45:52It's been giving him another chance and another chance.
45:55That's, that's, that's, I can't tolerate that, it's just going to end up, well,
45:59it's professional suicide, isn't it?
46:04It's conned me, simple as that.
46:06I don't honestly think he did it deliberately.
46:09I don't think he's a nasty piece of work.
46:11I just think he lives in a Walter Mitty world.
46:13I begin to think that he's just convinced himself, to be honest.
46:18To go from Valentine's Day evening to this is, it's not even funny.
46:28There's just something wrong with that.
46:29There really is.
46:31Valentine's Day are good, man.
46:33I don't think I've gone home to bed or whatever feeling in a better, happier state of mind.
46:40And tonight I don't think I could go to bed in a worse one.
46:43It's beyond recognition, really, isn't it?
46:45How fucking stupid that, that someone can be, you know what I mean?
46:52It's a dog one.
46:55And who is that someone to?
46:57No, that would be me.
46:59Pretty much.
47:01Yeah.
47:03Well, at least the bar's busy.
47:05That is one saving grace.
47:06But really, thank God she closed that kitchen down because it was fucking disgusting.
47:11I mean, really, appallingly bad.
47:15Shockingly bad.
47:17If you just let me get on with it, it'd be a damn sight better.
47:20If I let you get on with it, this floor would be knee deep in SH1T.
47:24But before you rang me up, all aggressive, I was getting on with you fine.
47:28I was respecting you and giving her all the, like, gentlemanly bloody stuff I could do.
47:33And then you went and shot it down fucking pat.
47:35No, don't turn it on me.
47:37If a floor is filthy before service...
47:39I don't want to turn it on you, Sue, because it doesn't matter anymore.
47:41The floor was filthy.
47:42Does it matter?
47:43Yes, it does.
47:43I think we've established that.
47:46Look.
47:46Yeah.
47:47Yeah?
47:48Fuck the fucking floor.
47:49Well, that's worse.
48:04Fucking Partridge, you...
48:05It's really pretty.
48:07No, it's not fucking all right.
48:08Do I at all, yeah?
48:09Treat it with a bit of love, you care.
48:11Well, at least have the bollocks to apologise to.
48:12I'm driving a shitty Astro van, and I'm fucking close to tears.
48:16If you want an argument...
48:17You're talking out your arse.
48:18Can we go outside?
48:18I'll go anywhere.
48:19You're talking out your fucking arse.
48:20Right in in the middle of your restaurant.