- 21 saat önce
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TV ve DiziDöküm
03:54Tüm kâşmanın bir tanesi.
03:58Bu ne?
03:59Yani, bu ne?
03:59Yeni?
03:59Bu ne?
04:00Biliyaz.
04:01Bu ne?
04:01Bu ne?
04:03Bu ne?
04:05Bu ne?
04:05Bu ne?
04:16Bu ne?
04:17Deniz birra herteki çapkı mı mı çırmak?
04:21Yoluş Cukarımsat.
04:24Ben atıralım hakkım bu,
04:25ve olaç습 bir türlü gelişmişten bakı.
04:28Bu çapkın da çapkı mı çapkı mı çapkı mı çapkı mı çapkı mı çapkı mı çapkı mı çapkı mı çapkı
04:36mı çapkı mı?
04:38Çapkı mı çapkı!
04:41przestelik.
04:42İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
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07:32abone ol.
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07:37abone ol.
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08:07Oh f***
08:08I lied, he is a pedophile
08:11Let's go for broke
08:19That wasn't worth it
08:20That was quite a good one
08:21Oh no, they're all dead
08:23I'm gonna miss you guys
08:25This one was a bit of a dick
08:26But we're sad that you died anyway
08:34What's this for?
08:35Dude, it's a pyre
08:37You know how it works
08:38In post effects we could add flames
08:40Oh!
08:42Stand back!
08:43Tom, don't get burnt from the fire
08:45Here we go
08:49I should have been there
08:50I should have cared for you
08:52I should have nurtured you
08:56Right, the finish line is in sight
08:57I'm just going for it
08:58I believe in all of you, okay?
09:00Do you trust me?
09:01Let's go
09:02He's crossed the line
09:06Oh, look at this angel
09:07Who didn't leak when I gave her a hug at all
09:10No, she's fine
09:11They're all fine Tom
09:13In fact, I'm just gonna keep them with me
09:15Because they're all alive and fine
09:17Are some of them dead too?
09:18No?
09:19Thanks Tom
09:20Thanks Celia
09:21Bye!
09:29So Celia, how many memorials have you been to where after the tribute they throw the body away?
09:35Well you don't keep them
09:36Yeah
09:37They're all dicks, they're a bunch of egg dicks and I'm glad they're dead
09:42Yeah, you uh, you abused them in several different ways
09:44What were you calling the eggs?
09:46I don't know, one of them, oh, I won't repeat it
09:49I'll repeat it
09:49Celia accused one of them of being a pedophile
09:55So Anissa, you said to one of the eggs in your heartfelt tribute, I should have been there
10:00Um, you were there
10:03I feel like I should have been there intellectually because I wasn't thinking
10:08I don't know why I pushed it that hard
10:10I genuinely could not think of another way to do it other than that
10:13You know?
10:14Right?
10:15Are you trying to throw to the next segment?
10:21I'll do the twists and turns, thank you
10:24Now Rove, how did you feel about the fire that was added in post there?
10:27Oh, it was really good and I'll tell you all about it after the break
10:33No?
10:35I was quite impressed by it
10:37That's what I expected my Viking funeral to be like
10:40Alright, now Tom, what's your favourite part of this task?
10:43Yeah, probably the second line of the task actually
10:44Oh, right, and what was that?
10:46You may not touch the passengers in any way
10:49I can't touch them
10:50Nope
10:51Oh no, Captain Boyle
10:53We will miss you
10:54I don't think that one was dead
10:55Oh f***
10:56That was Jasmine
10:57Okay
11:00F***
11:00I touched it, I touched it
11:02So what, can I put it back?
11:04So Carl's going into space
11:07Oh
11:09Please don't throw the eggs at the camera people
11:16Can I touch them now?
11:17What do you mean now?
11:19I wasn't touching them before
11:25So this means they're all disqualified
11:28That's right, yep
11:30Rove touched an egg twice
11:31Anissa touched an egg 31 times
11:35Celia touched an egg 40 times
11:37I love it!
11:38I just love touching eggs, okay?
11:40I have a problem
11:43Alright, well let's take a break
11:44We'll be back soon to see if any of our contestants aren't disqualified
11:48We'll see you after this
12:00Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia
12:02If you've just joined us, you're late and I'm very disappointed
12:07What were we doing Tom?
12:08Our contestants are shoving a trolley full of eggs down a driveway as fast as they can
12:11And they're not allowed to touch eggs
12:12So far, our contestants have touched so many eggs
12:16Alright, it's just a simple task
12:19Fastest wins
12:19Fastest wins
12:20Up next, it's all the king's men
12:21Can they end what can only be described as an egg touching extravaganza?
12:25It's Joel Creasy and Brett Blake
12:26I'm not very strong
12:28Am I allowed to drive that car?
12:31Jump in, let's go
12:32I can use anything, right?
12:37What if I got on me?
12:38I'm staying here?
12:39Yeah, you're staying here
12:41If I tie this and sort of shut then I can sort of pull it back
12:45Well, what if I like put something over the top to pat it?
12:51I'm not touching them
12:52Go to sleep, little eggs
12:56What's that for?
12:57A ramp, dickhead
12:58Let's go
13:03There are no deceased passengers
13:05Yes
13:06Oh, that's a shit ramp
13:09Shove
13:13I reckon I've nailed this
13:14I feel like this is a shove
13:17That's a shove
13:19That's a shove
13:21There's one deceased passenger
13:23There is one deceased passenger
13:28We've travelled all this way
13:30And you
13:31Just a bit too weak
13:32And that's life, isn't it?
13:33That's the memorial?
13:34It's nicer than what I said at my grandma's funeral
13:37You need to sing the national anthem
13:40Go
13:41You want me to do it?
13:43Yeah, well I'm doing this
13:45Go, come on
13:48Australians, oh let us rejoice
14:06There's five deceased passengers
14:07I feel like this is what the eggs would have wanted
14:10You know what I mean?
14:12And if you could keep singing that national anthem as well
14:14I think that will help
14:15We've got the flag there
14:18Maybe a burn out
14:19We are young
14:21And free range
14:24With gold and foil
14:27And subbing, subbing oil
14:29Our home is seen
14:32The eggs would want me to win
14:40There's an additional deceased passenger
14:42Can you skip?
14:49There you go
15:00Great work Brett
15:01I think you did really well
15:03I especially like for we are young and free
15:05Range
15:07I love how I'm the only person on the panel who's dyslexic
15:11But I manage to read do not touch the eggs
15:14I like your memorials too that you gave
15:16Thank you
15:16I think they were very good
15:17But I feel like at a bogan memorial you should have been wearing wrap around sunnies
15:20Yeah
15:21There wasn't enough props but I had a ramp
15:23I got the van involved
15:24I think I started using the van too much that the safety coordinator on set started hiding vehicles from me
15:31So
15:33It did not go well
15:34Tom had some fun though
15:35Well I felt like I was in danger more than
15:39Danger, electric, excitement, it's all the same dude
15:43Alright Joel
15:43Yes
15:44I thought you were being a bit hard on yourself when you were saying that you weren't that strong
15:48But then I saw your effort and I thought it was about accurate
15:52I don't know what I was planning with the rope because I didn't do anything
15:57I did enjoy the memorials though
16:00Because I've been planning my funeral
16:02Forever
16:03Well I can't wait
16:04What was your plan?
16:05Open casket with my eyes glued open
16:07Right?
16:08So I can look into the eyes of my enemies just one last time
16:11Yeah
16:12Joel would you like to hear more about your plan for your funeral?
16:15Glinda and El Farber from Wicked will sing for good
16:18El Farber?
16:19El Farber?
16:21El Farber?
16:22El Farber?
16:23El Farber?
16:37You do not get a second credit
16:39Luke I am your El Farber
16:40Yeah
16:41No
16:42No no no
16:43It's all
16:43No no no
16:44Give him a break
16:45Give him a break
16:46Tom you know
16:47You know
16:47You're joking
16:48You know the Wizard of Ooze
16:49No?
16:51To be fair we should just do a pick up of you saying El Farber
16:54Because otherwise
16:55Fans of musical theatre will be coming at you
16:59Oh no
17:00Joel
17:00Joel
17:01I don't think he's seen what Joe's hands come in
17:02I was going to say
17:03We'll rip your throat out
17:06We're coming at you
17:07We're coming at you
17:09Better run
17:10Better run
17:14I'm sorry you had to sink that side of me Tom
17:17Woo
17:20I'm not supposed to enjoy this show this much but anyway
17:23What I was trying to allude to when I was describing what Joel told me about his funeral
17:27Is that we did a lot of talking during that task
17:29Right
17:29Joel took 37 minutes and 22 seconds
17:33Brett's decision to use the van means his time was just 10 minutes and 8 seconds
17:40So that means zero points for the first three contestants Anissa Celia and Rove all disqualified
17:45Four points for Joel and five points for Brett
17:50Finally you need to choose the best memorialiser
17:53Oh that's easy Brett Blake
17:54Okay six points for Brett Blake
17:56Yeah Freddie Blake
17:58Okay and one of the scores for the episode so far
18:00Out in front it's a tie at the moment Brett and Joel both on 8 points
18:07Alright
18:09I'm ready for another task
18:11This next task is about middle names but I'll never tell you mine
18:14Discretion is my middle name
18:16Oh wait
18:31Tom Cashman with the iPad in the study
18:35Bonjour
18:36Hi Joel
18:37Please choose a word
18:39Oh
18:39What choose one that's hanging
18:41They all describe me
18:43Darren
18:44Technically a name but that's alright
18:45I'll go with kill
18:46Chaos
18:47Wizard
18:48Danger
18:48I choose Darren
18:50You choosing Darren?
18:51Yeah
18:53Oh no
18:55I'm cool
18:56You're like Edmund Scissorhands
19:00Totally broke that one
19:01Now do I read the thing?
19:02Yes please
19:03Okay
19:07Why?
19:08The word you just selected is your new middle name
19:13Live up to it
19:14I should have gone with sexy
19:16Most lived up to middle name wins
19:18You have 25 minutes to time so it's down
19:20I mean obviously Danny's my middle name
19:22I win
19:23I should just get points for choosing the correct one
19:24Like what would you do?
19:25Because you're very cool
19:26Like what would a cool person
19:27Like I'm asking a cool person
19:28What would they do?
19:29I'm not going to answer because I suspect you're being sarcastic
19:31This is effed up
19:33But I'd know someone called Darren
19:34He prepares to his missus in a Maccas
19:37I won't be allowed to light things on fire will I?
19:39Let's do it and let's wait to see what happens if I get yelled at
19:43Cool, cool
19:44I want to physically get cool
19:45I think I have to be the dangerous thing
19:47So I'm going to be sharp
19:50Okay
19:50And hot
19:51And like have rabies
19:53Oh
19:54I'm off to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
19:59Do you mean the generic school for magic?
20:01Tom
20:01Yeah
20:02I'm off to a nameless school of witchcraft and wizardry
20:06Grab everything, grab the cameras, let's go
20:12So Anissa, what drew you to Darren?
20:14Just an opportunity to make fun of white guys
20:19So like how would you describe Darren as an emotion?
20:23Oh yeah, nah
20:27Damn, nailed it
20:30Okay Tom, I'm ready to see some people embody their new middle names
20:34Who have we got first?
20:35He chose the word chaos
20:36He's furious, he didn't choose sexy
20:38It's Brett
20:38Chaos
20:38Blake
20:39Ah, your time's up now Tomina
20:42No one's gonna save you
20:44Oh my god
20:48It's Brett
20:49Sexy Blake
20:50No!
20:54No!
20:55No!
20:55F**k
20:56F**k
20:57F**k
20:57F**k
21:02F**k
21:05F Minnesota
21:12F**k
21:14F**k
21:16F**k
21:16Your welcome
21:16Someone that can hit you
21:20F**k
21:22Whoza
21:23F**k
21:23Who is my Eww
21:32줄
22:03Kaos Sexy. I went with Kaos Sexy and Danger.
22:06I kind of got lost in it a bit.
22:07I think the character was Captain Chaos
22:10and then I was playing
22:11someone called maybe Mr. Sexy
22:14or Cool or Darren
22:15and maybe Darren
22:18and then he saves
22:19Tom from Captain Chaos.
22:22Not Tom.
22:23Who are you?
22:26Tamina.
22:27Oh, that's right. I gave you a girl's name and I put a wig on you.
22:30That's funny.
22:30It looked like a tutorial for when you get inducted
22:34into being a lesbian.
22:36That's what I thought I was watching.
22:37Well, ironically, a lot of that stuff came from Bunnings,
22:39so it makes sense.
22:41Alright, we're up to the middle name of any broadcast TV show.
22:45The ads. Back soon.
22:57Hello and welcome back to the first episode
22:59of Taskmaster Season 5.
23:01How exciting.
23:02You're witnessing the series right at its peak
23:05and from this sentence,
23:06we're phoning it in.
23:08Where were we, Tom?
23:09Our comedians are trying to live up to their new middle name.
23:11Up next, it's Anissa Darren-Nandola
23:13and Joel Cool Creasy.
23:16Hi there.
23:17Could I please have a hash brown
23:18and an apple pie?
23:19No, I'll get a full meal, love.
23:21Get a full f***ing meal
23:22because today is a real special day.
23:26Do you want to have an ice bath with me?
23:28I love you,
23:29since I laid eyes on you at the pokies.
23:32Beautiful.
23:32Beautiful spot.
23:33This is so cool.
23:34The way you scream,
23:35CLEE!
23:36Oh, man.
23:37Man, my heart race.
23:41Cool.
23:41See?
23:42Oh, my God.
23:46I've even got these very cool glasses
23:48to really hammer the point home.
23:52Would you please
23:53be my lawfully wedded wife
23:55and make me...
23:56You've kind of already put it on.
23:58Let me bloody finish, love.
23:59Okay.
24:00You want me to get in?
24:01I think you should.
24:01I think there's enough space.
24:02You didn't tell me to change.
24:04Look at that.
24:05Perfect.
24:05Do you want to be Mrs.
24:07and it's a sign you,
24:08Darren Nandaula?
24:09I do.
24:10I refresh you.
24:15Get the large.
24:16Get the large.
24:16I'll have fries as well.
24:20Dumb.
24:23Enjoy the view.
24:30This is based on a true story, right?
24:31This is based off of a Darren that I know.
24:33Okay.
24:33So how's Darren's relationship going now?
24:36He's divorced.
24:38Now, you're from Queensland.
24:40Yes.
24:40You didn't choose to live by Darren Lockyer.
24:43He's a rugby player.
24:46I've noticed I'm being very careful
24:48because I don't want my citizenship revoked.
24:51Rugby player?
24:52Rugby league player.
24:53Oh, okay.
24:54I don't know what that means.
24:59He's a Queensland legend.
25:00Okay.
25:03So, Joel, was this task for you a bit tricky
25:05because to start with,
25:06you're already quite cool?
25:07Oh, I thought I'd give myself a challenge
25:10and try and be cool.
25:12Yeah.
25:12But I reckon you are already cool.
25:14You're on commercial radio.
25:15when I hang out with you,
25:17you're always very witty, well-dressed.
25:19You know, you're always often drinking
25:20a very fancy drink.
25:21I look at it and think,
25:22what's Joel drinking?
25:23I wouldn't mind having that
25:24because he's cool.
25:25Do you need money or something?
25:27No, I'm just saying.
25:34But the problem is,
25:35I think you started the task cool
25:36but then you ended it not cool.
25:38Why?
25:39You finished in a bathtub with Tom Cashman.
25:41Not cool.
25:43You're telling me I was in there with him.
25:45And I could tell it was very cool.
25:49Let's just say my balls are smaller than Grant Denny's.
25:53All right, Cashman, I'm ready for another.
25:56Uppus Nexotus.
25:57It's Rove, Wizard, McManus.
25:59Oh, God.
26:05Oh, Broomie, it's time to fly up.
26:10Come on, Broomie, we've got to save the day.
26:13The evil wizard, uh, i-board is coming to stop us.
26:18Let's go.
26:20Ah, ah, my scar's hurting.
26:23Ah, like that.
26:25Ah, that must mean that...
26:28What was his name again?
26:29I-id-i-board or something like this.
26:31Ah, no.
26:32Here he comes.
26:38Well, well, well.
26:40If it isn't Rove, Wizard, McManus.
26:44Evil wizard, Voldy-board.
26:46No, evil...
26:47Evil wizard, i-i-board.
26:49I knew it was you.
26:51Oh, really?
26:52Well, what if I was to tell you?
26:55It was me that killed your parents,
26:58you dumb kid.
27:00No.
27:01Kill us?
27:02Villain us.
27:05Sparks come out of it.
27:07Cool effects.
27:08Ah, no!
27:09You got me, Rove, Wizard, McManus.
27:13But I'll be back if there's a sequel.
27:17Ah.
27:21Flames.
27:22Yeah.
27:24That's what you get for being a dick.
27:27All a simple day in the life.
27:29For me, Rove, the Wizard, McManus.
27:31Although my parents are still dead.
27:34Womp womp.
27:39Ah, very emotional.
27:41They are.
27:42There we go.
27:43Ah, to some of our younger viewers
27:45who are just tuning in,
27:46you might be surprised to find out
27:47that Rove actually used to be a really big deal.
27:56What was that about, Rove?
27:58It was magic.
28:00Yeah, I was watching it thinking
28:02it was about to magically become entertainment.
28:04Oh.
28:07There's no trick for that,
28:08as we well know, Tom.
28:09Were you, uh, were you, Griffin, bored?
28:13Yeah, boy!
28:16Shut up, Malfoy.
28:17Ah!
28:18You know!
28:20Yes, I love it!
28:20Check out these Dumbledorks.
28:22Ah!
28:23Ah, I don't get it.
28:24Who gives a shit?
28:25I'm a regular Hufflepuff.
28:31Hey, Tom, you can just probably
28:32go straight to the points.
28:37Who have we got next, Cash Boy?
28:41I think she might actually have rabies
28:43and has found a way
28:44to work it into the show.
28:46It's Celia Danger-Pakola.
29:01Oh, oh.
29:03Rawr!
29:04Skit?
29:05I see you really ran with the rabies idea.
29:06Yes, a little bit.
29:08Not just that.
29:09This is a pot filled with boiling water
29:10with a handle sticking out.
29:11It's incredibly dangerous.
29:12And this is an open flame, Tom.
29:14Oh, no.
29:15And scissors.
29:16Oh, and I can't help but notice the, um...
29:18Yes, because I have unprotected sex
29:20and I'm a man and I have a cactus penis.
29:22Okay.
29:22But I'm also a bear
29:23and I'm also a woman who knows what she wants.
29:26All very dangerous things.
29:28I feel like I've nailed this brief.
29:30I will say good day to you, sir.
29:32Good day.
29:35Yeah.
29:38Yeah.
29:38Yeah.
29:40So, can you talk us through
29:41all the dangerous things you did?
29:42Because there was a lot there.
29:43There was a lot.
29:44My first thought was the swords
29:45and I had rabies
29:46and I had scissors
29:47and I had my PIN number
29:49and my home address
29:50and my mobile phone number.
29:52You had more than that.
29:53What else did I have?
29:53Oh, yeah.
29:54These are things written on your suit.
29:55Yeah.
29:55I'm a man.
29:56Yeah.
29:57I'm a bear.
29:58Yeah.
29:58I have a snake.
30:00I have worms.
30:01I answer unknown numbers.
30:03My password is easy to guess
30:05and my shoelaces are undone.
30:07Oh, yeah.
30:08Your shoelaces were not undone.
30:10Oh, were they now?
30:10All right.
30:11Well, I've got to give out
30:11some scores here, don't I?
30:12You do.
30:13Okay.
30:14Well, that's pretty easy.
30:14One to Rove.
30:17I'm going to give two points to Joel
30:18because he started cool
30:19and then he ended not cool.
30:20I'm going to give three points to Celia
30:22because it was still very dangerous.
30:23Okay.
30:23I'm going to give four points to Anissa
30:26because it was chock full of Darren-ness.
30:28Woo!
30:28But I'm going to give five points
30:30to Brett
30:30just because it was awesome
30:31and chaotic.
30:32CHEERING
30:34Loved it.
30:37All right.
30:37We'll be back after the break.
30:39Whether you will
30:39is entirely up to your attention span.
30:41See you soon.
30:43CHEERING
30:53Welcome back to Taskmaster Australia.
30:55We've just got time
30:57for one last proper task.
30:59So what have you got for me, Lesser Tom?
31:00It's our first location task of the series.
31:03So giddy up,
31:03we're off to the racetrack.
31:20I love these big walks.
31:22Hi, Tom.
31:23Is this walk really necessary?
31:26Yes.
31:32Can I help you?
31:34Yeah, there's a toss down there
31:35that I'd love for you to read.
31:36Oh, okay.
31:41Kicks the exercise ball to Tom.
31:44Easy.
31:45Only chairs may halt a ball's motion.
31:48If the ball rolls to the bottom,
31:49you must remove a chair.
31:50This is so hard.
31:52Fewest chairs initially placed wins.
31:55You have 10 minutes to place the chairs,
31:58then 15 minutes to get the ball to the top.
32:00Your time starts now.
32:03But I've just got to kick the ball to you.
32:04That's right.
32:05What do the chairs got to do with anything?
32:07If the ball comes to a standstill on a chair,
32:10then you can go up to that spot
32:11and kick from there.
32:11Get what I mean?
32:12Not really.
32:13And also the ball just f***ed off.
32:15You might want to go get the ball.
32:16Don't tell me what to do, Tom.
32:17Are you right-footed?
32:19Right-footed?
32:20Who's right-footed?
32:21I'm right-handed.
32:22What is right-footed?
32:24Oh, dear.
32:32Do you really not know what right-footed is?
32:35No.
32:36What's right-footed?
32:37Which foot do you kick with?
32:39Which foot do you kickball change with?
32:41Oh, I kickball change with my right foot.
32:43I'm right-footed.
32:44That's all you had to ask.
32:45All right.
32:46Who's up first?
32:46The chairman and the chairwoman of the us not being bored.
32:49It's Rove and Celia.
32:52All right.
32:52I'm going to try this.
32:53You can do some chat if you want.
32:55I'm just moving chairs.
32:56What did you have for breakfast?
32:56I had a protein ball because I'm an athlete.
32:59Well, if I lay a chair flat, it's got more space to take up.
33:03What did you have for breakfast yesterday?
33:05Pizza.
33:06Because that's what legends eat.
33:09I reckon it's going to stop better like that.
33:11What about the breakfast the day before that?
33:13Meth.
33:14It just keeps getting progressively worse, so don't keep going backwards.
33:17I've gone double digits.
33:18I'm not happy with that.
33:19Dare I ask?
33:20What, you had breakfast one day before that?
33:22A human child.
33:23See?
33:24I told you not to ask, Tom.
33:25Oh, my gosh.
33:26What am I doing?
33:27I'm a genius.
33:29Okay.
33:30No more chair placement.
33:32The kicking may begin.
33:33Oh!
33:35Shut up!
33:37That was pretty far.
33:41Oh!
33:42Keep bouncing!
33:43Keep bouncing!
33:45Oh!
33:50You shut up.
33:51No, that's gone.
33:53The ball has crossed the line at the bottom of the ramp.
33:55Please remove one chair.
33:57Okay.
33:57At this point, this is doing F-all.
33:59All right.
34:00How good was that bounce, though?
34:01The people at home loved that.
34:03Did you hear the reaction?
34:04No?
34:05Well, okay.
34:06Oh!
34:07Oh!
34:08Too far!
34:11Come on, little chair.
34:12Yes, little chair!
34:17You shut up!
34:18Stop!
34:19Stop!
34:19Stop!
34:21Tom!
34:23Yeah!
34:24Look at that!
34:25Bit of support here.
34:30That was a foolish, foolish call.
34:34Wait for it, wait for it, wait for it.
34:37So I'm allowed to pick it up?
34:38Yes.
34:38Okay, I'm going to pick up the ball now, Tom.
34:42Bounce over!
34:43What?
34:47That was so close.
34:49Again, the crowd, but you wouldn't know because your imagination is limited.
34:53Oh, it's going to be, I don't know if I could just, okay, all right, all right.
34:58Come on, chair, you know what you're doing.
35:12I put out way too many chairs, Tom.
35:14I just didn't believe in myself at how good I was going to be at that.
35:17That's a shame.
35:18Thanks, Tom.
35:21Careful of those chairs.
35:23I mean, we shouldn't just be leaving those there.
35:31Ro, was that trip on purpose or was it an accident?
35:35It was a comedy, it was a comedy fall.
35:38I was just worried about you because it was so convincing when you fell over, I was just
35:41genuinely concerned for your welfare.
35:44Thank you, Tom.
35:45I appreciate that.
35:46I was going to laugh, but then I didn't because I was worried you were hurt.
35:51All right, and so I must admit, Roe, I reckon the most impressive things were seeing you
35:55miss by such a tiny amount.
35:57It was quite painful at the other end.
36:00And then I don't know if you saw, I swapped legs.
36:02I went left, I went right.
36:04Didn't make a difference.
36:05Are you right-footed, whatever that means?
36:08I think my feet are bisexual, so it's like...
36:13Thought I recognised then.
36:16Okay, so Celia, how do you feel you went?
36:18I loved that.
36:19Yeah.
36:19I loved it so much.
36:20My only mistake was not knowing how good I'd be at it.
36:23That's the fault, like you're saying, like I should have believed in myself, put out too
36:26many chairs.
36:26Well, the hardest part of your task was just watching Cashman try to keep up a conversation.
36:31Because I feel like you're giving him a lot of fun offers and he was...
36:34She's told me to do some chat.
36:36I remember I asked you what you had for breakfast and you said tinned peaches and I said, are you
36:39in the war?
36:42I had tinned peaches at the hotel.
36:45I didn't have my own tinned.
36:46I didn't ask where the war happened.
36:50Anyway, so yes, that was the conversation.
36:52Thank you.
36:52It was difficult working with him.
36:55All right, so let's look at the stats.
36:58Well, ultimately it's a game of faith in yourself, right?
37:00So the fewer chairs, the more faith you have.
37:02Celia had 19 chairs worth of faith.
37:04Yep.
37:05Rove had a whopping 10 chairs of faith in himself.
37:07That's a lot of faith.
37:08All right, who's battling the ramp next?
37:10The next contestants inclined to incline are Anissa and Brett.
37:13Oh.
37:15This is the logical thing.
37:16Yeah, put them in a line.
37:22Why can't I just f***ing form kick it to you in one go?
37:25If you can, you can.
37:26What if I kick it so far, it doesn't come back?
37:29Then the task is done.
37:30That's correct.
37:31Oh, that's too easy.
37:33Let's win this.
37:34I'm raw doggin' it, dude.
37:36You're locking in zero chairs?
37:38Yeah.
37:41Bro, why is this ramp so rampy?
37:44No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
37:48This is either the best or the worst idea I've ever had.
37:55It's going to be the worst idea I've ever had.
37:57Mother f***er.
37:58Michael Johnny, rest in peace.
38:01He's not dead.
38:03Rest in peace, Kobe.
38:05Wow.
38:06Wow.
38:07Wow.
38:08Wow.
38:10Dude.
38:13You are now chalice.
38:15Johnny Wilkinson.
38:20Oh.
38:22Ah.
38:24Ah.
38:25Ah.
38:29Bro, this is a disgustingly steep ramp.
38:33Oh.
38:41Oh, man, you son of a bitch.
38:44Go, go, go, go.
38:46Yes.
38:47Yes.
38:52How much time I've got?
38:54Seven seconds left.
38:55Michelle Obama!
39:05I'm going to report this ramp to the ramp authorities.
39:09Dude, that was sick.
39:11Sometimes he's going to believe himself.
39:12Well done.
39:12Hell yeah
39:21Anisey, you were yelling out various names,
39:23what was the thinking behind that?
39:25Rest in peace Michael Jordan
39:28Is he still here?
39:30He's alive and alive
39:32You'll never believe it, he plays rugby league for Queensland
39:37Anisey, you were yelling famous black people as you kicked.
39:40Usain Bolt, Serena Williams, Kamal Harris
39:42and Nick Kyrgios
39:45I claim him, I claim Nick Kyrgios
39:48He's close enough
39:49RIP
39:52Alright now Brett, amazing tactic, no chairs
39:56No chairs, just back yourself
39:59That's right, I've never even seen this TV show
40:01and I'm f***ing dominating
40:06Who would have thought the guy with the truck licence
40:09would beat the three theatre dorks
40:13Who would have thought the straight white guy would have so much confidence?
40:18And the fact that you're winning makes it even worse
40:19Yeah, it's really, it really stinks
40:21Sucked in
40:24So, should we look at the scores there?
40:26Well, Anisey had 34 kicks
40:28Brett only used 7 kicks
40:30and is leading with 0 chairs placed
40:36Okay, we've just got one comedian to go in the Swiss ball kicking gauntlet
40:41But first it's time for a break
40:43Come back soon to find out who's won Grant Denyer's balls and a stale potato chip
41:00Welcome back to the only show on television brave enough to ask the question
41:03Would sports be more entertaining if they were done by people with no sporting ability?
41:09Where were we Lester Tom?
41:10Our contestants are kicking a ball up a ramp with nothing to help them but chairs
41:13Fewest chairs placed wins
41:15Up last, it's a man so deeply in love with his feet
41:18he couldn't possibly choose between them
41:19It's Joel Creasy
41:22Fucking setting up for an event
41:26Start here
41:27Careful of that, you wouldn't want the ball to get away
41:39I reckon I can kick it from there but I've got them as backups
41:42Okay
41:52What are you doing?
41:53Looking for the ball
41:58Oh Dine, is this some... I need...
42:02What?
42:03Where did it go?
42:05Where did the ball go?
42:06I don't know
42:07I saw it go down there, that's all I saw
42:09You've done something
42:11I didn't do anything
42:12You did, it was right here
42:14Your kicking time has begun
42:16This is so dumb Tom, where's the ball?
42:18I don't know
42:18Tom
42:19I told you to make sure it didn't blow away
42:21Where is it?
42:25It can't have gone that far
42:28I've misread something like
42:29There's a little trick
42:30I don't think wind is a trick
42:32It's just a reality of life
42:34But it's not here
42:34Then why are you here?
42:36If it's down here I'll be so furious
42:44It's not here!
42:52Tom, this is so lame
42:54There's not even any other balls here
42:55Can I kick you in the balls?
42:57No thank you
42:58This is so stupid Tom
42:59Someone's taking the ball, I'm sorry
43:10How long do I have?
43:11You've got 48 seconds left of kicking time
43:13I'm being gasoline
43:14I'm being completely gasoline
43:16I'm not going to pretend that there's not cameras here
43:18Everyone is silent
43:18Someone's taking the ball
43:20They have
43:21I've forgotten what colour it was
43:2425 seconds left
43:25Where's the ball?
43:26It's not here
43:27Is it like right here and I'm actually having a brain bleed
43:30I need to be in hospital
43:31Ten seconds left
43:32This is ridiculous
43:33It's not here
43:36Thanks Joel
43:38That was the worst
43:42And I had such a good sister
43:52Now we know that you're not right footed or left footed you neither
43:57I have lost months of sleep wondering where that ball went
44:03Lesser Tom even said it went that way
44:05And you went
44:05No it didn't
44:06You walked the other way
44:07I searched that way
44:08I searched that entire race thing
44:11That place
44:12That awful place
44:14Didn't even get a chance to kick
44:15With my right foot or whatever footed I am
44:18You kept accusing me of taking it
44:20But you could see me the whole time
44:21Someone went
44:22Someone blew it away
44:24Just to wind me up
44:25And you got me
44:28I looked up the wind speed on each day
44:30I had the windiest day
44:31No you didn't
44:31Brett did
44:32Oh
44:34Mine went around the corner
44:35But I just looked
44:36And it was there
44:38Mine was having a schooner up the bar
44:40I couldn't find it anywhere
44:41Joel would you like to know how many kicks you attempted?
44:44No
44:45I can at least work that out myself
44:48Alright well let's go through the scores then
44:50Joel's obviously disqualified
44:52Correct
44:52As is Anissa
44:53That means three points to Celia
44:55Four points to Roe
44:56And Brett wins the task with five points
45:01Alright and what are the scores for the episode so far?
45:03Roe is in last place with six points
45:05But Brett's out in front with 18 points
45:09Alright you lot please head up to the stage for the first studio task of the season
45:18Who's going to read out the task tonight?
45:21Celia
45:24Pose for a photo at the median height with the median amount of naughtiness
45:30Your photos will be compared and the contestant at the median height in their photo will win the height category
45:37Tallest and shortest contestants will come second and the other two contestants will come third
45:43Same scoring applies to naughtiness
45:46Brett are you okay? Did he just faint?
45:49No I punched a wall out and I've left
45:53Best overall performance in the two categories wins
45:55Your photos will be taken in exactly 75 seconds
45:58So the middle of each category will win
46:01The tallest and shortest come second
46:04And then the other two come third
46:05Okay your 75 seconds starts now
46:08Away, let's go
46:14What was he saying
46:16Why was he saying
46:17Why was he saying
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