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00:07İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
00:32İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
01:00And next to me, as always, is the guy who once slipped a disc, playing Candy Crush, it's Tom Cashman.
01:10Tom, do you have anything prepared that could waste about 30 seconds?
01:15Do you want to hear about my dating life?
01:17Um, for the purposes of the show, yes.
01:21And for the purposes of one lady in the crowd just then, no.
01:27Well, f*** you, I'm doing it anyway.
01:32Dating life hasn't been going...
01:35And that's 30 seconds.
01:41Yeah, time's up. See how you like it.
01:44We can move on.
01:46Don't feel sorry for him. It's not going to work.
01:49That's enough time wasting. Let's get to the prize task.
01:51Tonight, our contestants have been asked to bring in what they consider to be the most impressive item that cannot
01:57be bought anywhere online.
01:59Okay.
02:00Alright, okay. Celia, what have you got for us?
02:02Ooh!
02:03I have got a selection of cakes from a country bakery that only takes cash.
02:08Oh, wow.
02:09Yes!
02:11And I have not stopped thinking about those cakes for three months.
02:14So I have sent someone from this program out to that bakery to get a box of cakes.
02:18Because I don't have cash because I'm a young person. Shut up.
02:21And I'll tell you, in the moment when they were like, cash only, like, I went straight to, like, what
02:25can I get for a tooth?
02:26Like, give me an English tart.
02:28How many shoes? Just, like, bartering. I'll paint your house. What can I get?
02:32Okay. Anissa, what did you bring in?
02:34The house that I live in, the landlord refuses to fix the bathroom light.
02:38I won't say his name. Mr. Quinn.
02:41And my boyfriend 3D printed a selfie light holder, so we can have light all over the bathroom.
02:50Was it 3D printed with the pubes, or did that get added?
02:56Yeah, it was 3D printed with that.
02:58And it's horrible because we can't see without the light.
03:01But if you walk in there, it looks like we just do it for nudes.
03:05All right, Rove, what do you got?
03:07I've got the lion's toy.
03:11What?
03:12So this is a ball that a friend of mine gave me from the zoo.
03:18It's exceptionally hard, but it looks like they have just carved through it like a knife through butter.
03:23Fascinating stuff.
03:34But the ball itself could totally be gotten off-line.
03:37Oh, but not slashed up like that.
03:39But you're saying the scratching is what makes it unique.
03:41Oh, yeah. I don't think you can buy a lion easily online to attack a ball for you.
03:46Oh, I've tried.
03:49I've got a couple of cougars at my joint.
03:53That's a different species to lions.
03:55Yeah, but the joke still works. Keep up, Tom.
03:59All right, Joel, what have you brought in?
04:01My partner and I, we have a baby.
04:04She's a dog.
04:07Her name is Girlfriend, so we can say at the park, like, girlfriend, get over here.
04:11Or did you just shit yourself, girlfriend?
04:14Which I have said before to Sophie Monk at the Logies.
04:17But my sister had a real-life baby, and I am her favourite uncle.
04:27Please welcome Charlie Rose.
04:34Because Jack and I have opted against children
04:37and decided to go with flying business class the rest of our lives.
04:42OK, well, it's probably a good choice for the children that you aren't going to have too,
04:46because they would have been on drugs, clearly, from a very young age.
04:53All right, Brett, what do you have?
04:55It's a one-off painting that is to scale.
04:59Yeah.
05:00And it's exactly what I look like with my shirt off.
05:08That package is to scale as well, so...
05:11Is that one of those genuine paintings, though?
05:13Because I know how TV shows work.
05:14Often they get these things and they make props that look like paintings,
05:17but they're actually printed out.
05:18No, no, no, this is a one-off painting that's in my house,
05:20so when you walk into my house, this is the first thing you see.
05:23Oh, OK.
05:24So, who painted it?
05:25Who painted it?
05:26You know, it was one of the turtles that did the roof in Italy.
05:32Michelangelo.
05:33Yep.
05:34Wow.
05:35We should give away some points, I reckon.
05:36The ball, even though it's been chewed up by a lion,
05:38that's just a damaged ball that you can buy on a lion,
05:40so one point to Rove.
05:43I'm going to give two points to Brett,
05:44because I feel like that might have been printed out.
05:46I just don't trust him.
05:48I'm certainly certain that some turtles did not paint it.
05:52I'm going to give three points to Anissa,
05:55because I didn't really understand what it was,
05:56because I'm 50.
05:58I'm going to give four points to Celia,
06:00because I love a country bakery, I live in a country town.
06:02But I'm going to give five points to Joel for his niece,
06:06because I'm just worried about their self-esteem.
06:11OK, Lisa Tom, what's the first proper task?
06:14This first one features a doghouse,
06:15somewhere I'm sure the Taskmaster has never been.
06:18So I'll explain. It's another word for kennel.
06:21Oh.
06:32Tom!
06:35I'm ready!
06:38Hi, Joel.
06:39Hello.
06:40Hello, Tomothy.
06:42You look like those people who...
06:44What are they called? The ones who marry people?
06:46Husbands?
06:47No.
06:47Right.
06:48Dog food?
06:51Oh, there's a dog over there.
06:54Hey, mate!
06:57Oh, he's a rude dog.
06:58Terrifying, actually.
06:59That is really scary.
07:01I'm almost surprised how long it took me to realise
07:03your pet over there.
07:05Dog food.
07:06Nice.
07:08Call the dog over.
07:09You may not leave the dock.
07:11The dog will only come when you call out
07:12but it's correct four-letter name.
07:14You have 100 guesses.
07:16Fewest guesses wins.
07:18Your time starts now.
07:19I don't think there's a dog here.
07:21Do you have a dog?
07:22I do.
07:23Her name's Girlfriend.
07:24So me and Jack can be like,
07:25get over here, girlfriend.
07:27Oh, right.
07:27Do you shit yourself, girlfriend?
07:29Have you ever done that at the park?
07:31Shit myself.
07:32I have at Southern Cross Station.
07:34Oh, really?
07:34I had one.
07:35I had too many acai berries.
07:37I was on a health kick.
07:42Joey, were you just repeating material?
07:47I'll learn from the best.
07:51Alright, who are we going to start with?
07:53One of them hasn't even seen the dog yet.
07:55It's Celia and Anisha.
07:57Oh, my gosh.
07:58I love it.
07:59Call the dog over.
08:03There's got to be a clue
08:04because there's more than 100 four-letter words.
08:06I'm just going to try one.
08:08Fido!
08:10Ruth?
08:10I don't think there's a dog here.
08:13You don't?
08:13No.
08:14There's got to be a clue.
08:15There's...
08:16The dog!
08:17Dog?
08:18You're counting them, by the way?
08:19Yep.
08:19Okay.
08:20H-A-R-R-Y.
08:21Harry!
08:24Carl!
08:25Is there a clue?
08:26Can I open this?
08:26I'm going to try and open this.
08:28I'm just going to open this.
08:29Is this going to be a mistake?
08:30Is this going to be a stinky mistake?
08:32I've just made a stinky mistake.
08:34Please don't use that in the promo.
08:36Come here, now!
08:38Is that three guesses?
08:39No, that's...
08:40There's come.
08:41They're all yelled.
08:42Yeah, but they're not full letters.
08:44Two of them are.
08:45Why would a dog be called come?
08:47Did you ever have a dog?
08:48Yes.
08:48He's known as Woofer.
08:49That's five letters.
08:50Did you ever have a dog?
08:51Yeah.
08:51What's his name?
08:52Tilly.
08:52How'd you spell that?
08:54Not telling.
08:55Tilly!
08:55Five letters.
08:56F*** you.
09:01Oh, s***!
09:03Hey, bro!
09:05What the hell?
09:07Am I high?
09:08No.
09:09Can you tell me your name?
09:11Were those all guesses?
09:12What's your name?
09:13No.
09:14Call the dog over.
09:16Call.
09:18Over.
09:19Doc.
09:20She's coming!
09:22Oh!
09:23Over.
09:25Yay!
09:27Ah!
09:28Ha-ha-ha-ha!
09:29You little ripper!
09:31There was a quick time I bloody did it!
09:34Oh, my God.
09:35I can't believe his name is Doc.
09:36That's crazy.
09:37Come on!
09:38You can do it over.
09:39Let's go!
09:40He looks like he's just clocked off.
09:41from being a dog.
09:44He's like, f*** his family.
09:45Hey, boy.
09:46Come here, little buddy.
09:48Come on.
09:50I'm gonna hug you.
09:51I'm gonna hug you!
09:53Good boy.
09:55Hello!
09:56Hello!
09:57Oh, he's not into that.
09:59I did it.
10:01Congratulations.
10:02You need to care more.
10:04F*** you.
10:05Bye.
10:06Ah!
10:07Ah!
10:13So, Anissa, what's the dog's name?
10:16Over.
10:16Did you only just learn that now?
10:18Yeah.
10:19How did you figure it out it was over?
10:21Because the first line of the task is,
10:23call the dog over.
10:25Oh!
10:25But it...
10:29You are so smart!
10:30I mean, it...
10:31Hold on.
10:32You watched that, right?
10:33It took me 45 minutes to figure it out.
10:36OK, but just to be clear,
10:38just any word that was yelled out,
10:39that was counted.
10:40If it was called out, that's a guess.
10:42How am I to know how many letters
10:43these people think are in certain words?
10:45Right, so...
10:46If they yell out Harry...
10:47Yep.
10:48...which is clearly five letters...
10:50To you and I.
10:51...that's still counted.
10:52Yes.
10:52Yeah, Harry with one R.
10:53Oh, is that what you thought?
10:55Oh, while we're at it,
10:56Celie, how do you spell Tilly?
10:58T-I-L-Y, tongue.
11:00OK.
11:01Not in my family.
11:02You know how I spell your name?
11:05D-I-C-K.
11:09And that's...
11:13I've made a stinky mistake, haven't I?
11:16So we're looking for the least number of times.
11:19Fewest guesses wins.
11:20Celia's guesses, some of them included,
11:22Can you tell me your name?
11:26Celia made a total of 27 guesses.
11:29That's really good.
11:31Anissa's guesses included here, now,
11:34Anissa, doggy, and hint.
11:38Hint?
11:39And Anissa made a total of 18 guesses.
11:42Woo!
11:45OK, it's time for a break.
11:47See you after this.
11:48CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
11:59Welcome back to Taskmaster,
12:01where Canadians are listing all the four-letter words they know,
12:05including the rude ones like drat and darn and...
12:09LAUGHTER
12:10LAUGHTER
12:10That's right.
12:11So far, we've seen Anissa and Celia try to call a dog over
12:14by correctly guessing its four-letter name.
12:16Next up, he loves puzzles
12:17and being physically restricted to a certain area,
12:19so he's surely in his element here.
12:21It's Brett Blake.
12:23I hate this one.
12:25You guys are always f***ing with me,
12:27and I think this is one of those ones that you f*** with me,
12:29and I guess, like, a hundred things,
12:30and you get back to the studio,
12:31and then all the dorks online are like,
12:33oh, if you just didn't guess anything,
12:34you would have f***ing won.
12:36Mm.
12:38LAUGHTER
12:41I'm going to punch that f***ing dog as well.
12:44LAUGHTER
12:50F***ing dog food.
12:51That's what it said on the can.
12:55LAUGHTER
12:55LAUGHTER
12:57Yes!
13:01It stinks, dude.
13:06What are you looking at?
13:09LAUGHTER
13:11You're an idiot. I hate this.
13:13Over!
13:19The world's shittest dog.
13:22Come on, champ.
13:24Grab a feed, you little grub.
13:27It's over.
13:28No, that's over.
13:32APPLAUSE
13:36Brett, thank you for referring to the dorks online.
13:40You're welcome.
13:41Yeah, or as I prefer to call them,
13:42our valued fan base who gave you this job.
13:45LAUGHTER
13:45I still feel they'll be watching going,
13:47oh, he mentioned me.
13:49LAUGHTER
13:50LAUGHTER
13:51So, why were you so angry about doing well?
13:54I'll be honest with you, I think I fluked that one,
13:56cos I was like, well, if the dog does come over,
13:58eventually he'll be hungry,
13:59and then when I went to put the food out,
14:01then it was there, so I was pretty stoked with that.
14:03LAUGHTER
14:03I thought, what was obviously a man in a suit
14:06would eventually get hungry and eat dog food.
14:09LAUGHTER
14:09It was annoying me so much,
14:11I would have pushed his head into it at that stage.
14:14LAUGHTER
14:14All right, so it looked like he got it in one.
14:16He didn't get it in one, though, did he?
14:17No, Brett yelled out, what's your name?
14:19So Brett got it still in four guesses.
14:21APPLAUSE
14:22Amazing.
14:24APPLAUSE
14:25Who have we got next, Lesser Tom?
14:27One of their first names is the answer rearranged,
14:30the other one's Liodge.
14:31It's Joel and Rode.
14:34APPLAUSE
14:35The dog over.
14:38Over.
14:39Over.
14:39APPLAUSE
14:43Looks like he's coming.
14:44He's coming!
14:45Are you serious?
14:47I need this, I really need this.
14:49Here's your good boy.
14:50Here's your good boy.
14:51Here's your good boy.
14:52Hello.
14:53Hello.
14:54Oh, he talks.
14:56Do you want this?
14:57Uh, yes, please.
14:58You want it?
14:59Yeah.
15:01What?
15:02Why are there binoculars in there?
15:03Don't worry about that.
15:06Good to see you, Opa.
15:08Thanks, Joel.
15:14Hi, Tom.
15:15Hi, Paul.
15:17Is that all you need me for?
15:18Your job is over.
15:20Thank you, Tom.
15:22APPLAUSE
15:29So, Lesser Tom, can you explain to Brett what happened, given Brett has never seen the show?
15:34That was Paul.
15:35He's the Taskmaster's assistant in the New Zealand version, where, weirdly, they just call him Paul.
15:38Not, like, Lesser Paul or stupid Paul.
15:41And he's better looking as well.
15:43Brutal.
15:45Yeah, but they just call him Paul because he's in New Zealand Taskmaster, which is called Lesser Taskmaster.
15:51LAUGHTER
15:54These nerds are so excited.
15:56They're like, oh, it's like the Spidey-verse.
15:58LAUGHTER
16:00Remember Spider-Man coming home when there was just Tobey Maguire?
16:04They're all in the same room!
16:06LAUGHTER
16:08Now, one thing I enjoyed in that was, uh, Joel, you seemed surprised that you did well.
16:12Well, um, in my portfolio of tasks, um, that's my best one.
16:18So...
16:18APPLAUSE
16:21Roe, were you disappointed you got the answer so quickly?
16:24No, no, as someone who also has a name that, uh, warrants rubbing your arse on the carpet a lot
16:29and drinking out of the toilet, uh, I would have felt ashamed if I hadn't worked it out a bit
16:33sooner.
16:34What about your name makes you want to drink out of the toilet?
16:37Because it's very much like a, like a Roe, a name.
16:39It's just a nice excuse.
16:41Also to hunt people's legs.
16:42Bark at strangers.
16:43Bark at strangers.
16:44What are you doing in the mail? What are you doing in the mail?
16:46LAUGHTER
16:47I get very little mail.
16:50LAUGHTER
16:51So, did they both get it on the first go?
16:53They did. One guess, one guess.
16:55CHEERING
16:57So that means Celia gets one point, Anissa gets two, Brett gets three,
17:01and Joel and Roe both get five points apiece.
17:03CHEERING
17:04What does that do to the episode overall?
17:06Roe is on six, but Joel's out in front with ten points.
17:09CHEERING
17:09CHEERING
17:11OK, contact...
17:14Our petition is heating up. More soon after the break.
17:17CHEERING
17:22CHEERING
17:29Welcome back to Taskmaster.
17:31You've joined us at a very exciting time.
17:34Tom, what you got?
17:35This next task features something that's associated with our country
17:37because famous Australians do it so much.
17:40And no, I'm not talking about racism or abs.
17:42LAUGHTER
17:54Hello.
17:55Hi, Celia.
17:56How are you?
17:57I'm OK.
17:57OK.
17:58I don't want to warn you, but I just listened to a seven-minute guided meditation
18:01about creativity, so I think I'm going to crush this.
18:04Wow.
18:05Ooh.
18:06Shoes.
18:13Do the most elegant shoeie.
18:17Yuck.
18:17Foul.
18:18Shoeies are foul.
18:19Ugh.
18:21LAUGHTER
18:24LAUGHTER
18:24Have you designed this for me?
18:26You must use the first shoe you touched.
18:28I didn't touch a shoe yet.
18:30Finally.
18:31Did something wrong.
18:31Something right, I mean.
18:34I touched the shoes before, didn't I?
18:36Mm-hm.
18:37Most elegant shoeie wings.
18:38You have 20 minutes.
18:39Your time starts now.
18:40I think I touched the croc first.
18:42Is that correct?
18:42Mm-hm.
18:43I've never done a shoeie.
18:44That's so broken.
18:45What is the most elegant shoe?
18:48I think it needs to be the longest shoeie that is possible
18:53using this bad boy.
18:54I've touched it.
18:55That's mine.
18:56You're going to do a stiletto.
18:57Ew.
18:58I'm going with this shoe.
18:59I feel like this is a brogue,
19:00but this looks like they've got money
19:03and kids they don't speak to.
19:04The most elegant shoeie.
19:06I'm not a very elegant person.
19:07I'm a very elegant person,
19:09so that's not going to be hard.
19:10Like, what's elegant like,
19:12like, romantic?
19:14Ooh.
19:15Ooh.
19:16We're on a date.
19:17I've actually done a shoeie on a date before.
19:19Did a shoeie on a date?
19:20Yeah, it was really bad.
19:22APPLAUSE
19:25I like the intellectual contrast we had
19:27between the contestants spot arriving in the room.
19:30We had Celia walking in going,
19:31oh, I've listened to a seven-minute guided meditation.
19:33Then we had Rove go,
19:34shoes!
19:35LAUGHTER
19:38LAUGHTER
19:38OK, Tom,
19:39who's elegant shoeie are we going to see first?
19:41First up, we've got a shoeie enthusiast
19:43and a man who hates shoes so much
19:44he actually left his Gucci thong at the set.
19:46It's Brett Blake and Joel Creasy.
19:49APPLAUSE
19:50I'm going to pretend it's my wedding day.
19:52Oh.
19:52Yeah, because what's more elegant than a wedding?
19:54I need something to marry.
19:55I'll marry Tom.
19:57We'll pretend you're not there.
19:58OK.
20:00LAUGHTER
20:01LAUGHTER
20:04That rules, dude.
20:05I didn't fit into the...
20:06You really need to do some ab crunches.
20:09To be honest,
20:10you look about the same as some of the dates I've been on.
20:13LAUGHTER
20:14LAUGHTER
20:14I'm so happy at my wedding.
20:16I now pronounce you husband and wife.
20:21Oh, time for a little drink at my own week.
20:24LAUGHTER
20:26I have actually been wearing the shoe for the whole task.
20:30Oh.
20:30Just for authenticity.
20:32Now, I think, like, Lady and the Tramp...
20:34Go, get it, keep going.
20:36Ah, I'm so happy.
20:37But I'm so elegant.
20:39Oh, my God.
20:41Oh, my God.
20:42I'm so happy.
20:44So I'm going to...
20:45I'm going to...
20:46I'm going to get...
20:48Most romantic, chewy.
20:50And then we're going to do it together.
20:51Ready?
20:52Oh...
20:53LAUGHTER
20:58Rumble, Rumble, Rumble, Rumble.
21:06itu...
21:08Whoa!
21:08LAUGHTER
21:09Rumble, Rumble, Rumble.
21:15Romance.
21:16Buongiorno.
21:17WiFi Rumble, Rumble.
21:17İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
21:47I'm still pissed off about him.
21:49Now Brett, I feel like you were doing your usual thing
21:52where you read the task
21:53and then you change the task in your head
21:55and you do some other task.
21:58Maybe?
21:59Yeah.
22:00Because we were looking for the most elegant Chewy
22:02and you went elegant, romantic.
22:05Elegant, romantic,
22:06they're all kind of the same thing.
22:09Now, Lester Tom,
22:10you were pretty violent with Joel
22:12when you were throwing the rice.
22:13I felt like there was a bit of hate behind that throw.
22:15It was confetti and my instructions were
22:17go nuts with it.
22:19Yeah, but like, you know, like camp nuts.
22:21Like, you know, put on a show,
22:22not just like peg it at me.
22:24But I think elegant,
22:26I mean, you can't get more elegant than that.
22:28But I have to ask Joel.
22:29Yes?
22:30Is it a shoeie if you put a cup inside a shoe
22:31and then you drink out of the cup?
22:35Oh, okay.
22:38Well, you don't see anyone at the Formula One
22:40going, oh, hang on.
22:42Hey.
22:44Well, I'm so elegant,
22:45I don't go to the Formula One.
22:46So, no, I think I worked with what was there.
22:50I was allowed to use it.
22:51I think you might call that elegant thinking.
22:54Okay.
22:54I think I'd call it elegant cheating.
22:59All right.
22:59Who's shoeie are we watching next?
23:01It's Anissa Nandola.
23:03We'll be right back.
23:25We'll be right back.
23:35İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
23:57I think she was inspired by the nature of the shoe.
23:59A stylish white sneaker is what you went with.
24:01Alright, there we go.
24:03Alright, now's your chance to do as many shoeys as you can
24:07in the length of one ad break.
24:08If you're not a huge drinker, have a thongy and we'll see you soon.
24:24Welcome back to Taskmaster.
24:25We're trying to improve Australia's drinking culture
24:28by showing you how stupid people look when doing shoeys.
24:32That's right, and they do look stupid.
24:35But they're trying to look elegant.
24:36Up next, with a regrettably wide variety of British accents on display,
24:40it's Celia and Rove.
25:10Oh, hello.
25:11I lost my tiny mind.
25:13But rich people are allowed to be insane.
25:15When I said I'd like to have a cup of tea with Ralph and they said,
25:18he's passed away, Mavis.
25:20I said, I know.
25:21I'm not mad.
25:22I just do things how I do them.
25:25Would you like cream?
25:26Yes, please.
25:27Ah.
25:30Excellent.
25:30Here at Pearly Grove, what we say is,
25:33the only thing better than an early grave is Pearly Grove.
25:36because I've let you be yourself,
25:38even if you're someone who wants to drink tea
25:40out of your dead husband's shoe.
25:44I miss you, darling.
25:47I miss you.
25:48Cheers.
25:49Cheers.
25:50To you, my good friend.
25:53And keys out.
26:15Long live the king.
26:19Rendenald, this tea is not strong enough.
26:22Make it again.
26:30I think they were both great.
26:32I think they were two great sketches worthy of Skithouse.
26:35Wow.
26:37That's a big deal.
26:38That is a big deal coming from Australian Fast Bowler.
26:40I appreciate it.
26:45You know what?
26:46We shouldn't really move on
26:47until we get a lesser time
26:48to do a convincing English accent.
26:50I think he let the team down there
26:52a little bit for you, Rove.
26:53I didn't have warning
26:54that I was going to be involved.
26:56I mean, I didn't have what?
26:58Oh.
27:03So, Celia,
27:04that was a great performance.
27:06Did you set it in a retirement village?
27:08Yes.
27:09I'm just beside myself.
27:10I'm delighted.
27:11That came out better than I thought it was going to.
27:13But you said it in a retirement village
27:14because you wanted to appeal to Rosehaven fans.
27:18Hey.
27:19Hey.
27:20I'll have you know
27:21that our fan is 60 at best.
27:24OK, I've got to give out some points, don't I?
27:26That's right.
27:26Most elegant shoeie wins.
27:28Joel didn't do a shoeie,
27:29so that's easy.
27:30OK, one point to Joel.
27:31We're over!
27:32I want a divorce!
27:34I'm going to give two points to Brett
27:35because it was kind of romantic, not elegant.
27:38It's a bit hard to split Rove and Celia,
27:41but because of the commitment to the gumboot,
27:43I'm going to have to give Celia three,
27:45Rove four,
27:46and then right at the top,
27:48Anissa with five.
27:49Yay!
27:53Well, that's enough elegance.
27:55What have we got next?
27:56Before this task, I mentioned Van Gogh
27:58and Brett got excited,
27:59but it's to do with painting.
28:00LAUGHTER
28:05MUSIC PLAYS
28:06MUSIC PLAYS
28:09MUSIC PLAYS
28:12MUSIC PLAYS
28:13MUSIC PLAYS
28:14Oh, crap!
28:15What's your favourite animal?
28:17Ooh.
28:18My favourite animal is, um,
28:20I love...
28:23I'm going to say...
28:26because I feel like you're going to get me to draw it
28:28and I could just grab that and trace it.
28:29That's a hard one.
28:30I don't really like animals.
28:32The one that I dislike the least,
28:33probably one I could fight off,
28:35like a...
28:38All right.
28:39Paint your favourite animal
28:41far away from the canvas.
28:44Once petal brush touches canvas,
28:45you may not move.
28:47If the taskmaster cannot correctly guess
28:49the animal that you've painted,
28:52you'll be disqualified.
28:53You've got to guess what it is.
28:54Not me.
28:55What?
28:56If the taskmaster...
28:57Aren't you the taskmaster?
29:00LAUGHTER
29:00What are you, then?
29:01I'm the assistant.
29:02Oh, so the other...
29:03Oh, Baldi's the bloody...
29:05Yeah, all right.
29:06You may not write any words on the canvas.
29:08Furnest distance painted from wins.
29:10You have 20 minutes,
29:12and your time starts...
29:17now.
29:21So, just to be clear,
29:22we've beat their chosen animals
29:24because I have to guess them.
29:25That's right.
29:26So, I don't know what they are.
29:27Also, it was a weird coincidence
29:29that all of their favourite animals
29:30were racial slurs.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:33OK.
29:34And also, Brett,
29:35just to confirm,
29:36we're three episodes into
29:37the fifth season
29:39of a very successful show
29:40called Taskmaster,
29:42and I am the f***ing Taskmaster.
29:45He's the assistant.
29:47Taskmaster.
29:48Assistant.
29:51All right, who's painting
29:52are we going to see first?
29:53With favourite animals
29:54of Beep and Beep,
29:55it's Anissa and Joel.
29:56I don't know how I'm going to paint
29:58when I'm far away from the canvas.
29:59And once the painter brush touches,
30:01I can't move.
30:03It's touched.
30:04I was pretending!
30:06Brush has touched the canvas,
30:07you may not move.
30:08Might need to go get a super soaker.
30:10Put them up.
30:13I think that's enough water.
30:15Oh, OK, so I'm going to draw myself.
30:17I'm not kicking the s***,
30:19but I'm just showing that if I had to,
30:21I could.
30:21This looks like the s*** doesn't deserve it,
30:24but I would never just hurt an animal for no reason.
30:26So I'm going to have to put a, like,
30:28a human arm.
30:29Arrgh!
30:30So they know that the s*** has done something
30:33to deserve this.
30:34Otherwise, it's just s***ed up.
30:36I'm going to have a little practice run.
30:39Oh, this is going to work bright!
30:40Look at that!
30:41You could sell this, I reckon, afterwards.
30:43Donate the funds to a, you know,
30:45animal poaching charity.
30:46Donate it to animal poachers?
30:48No, an anti-poaching charity.
30:49I feel like you're watching me,
30:50like I'm a kid whose parents got divorced
30:53and I've got problems,
30:54and you're making me paint my feelings.
30:56How far is that from the truth?
30:58Pretty close.
30:58I'm feeling less confident now that I'm here.
31:04Ah!
31:05Painter's touched canvas.
31:06You may not move.
31:07Damn it.
31:08This is what I'm thinking.
31:09You take the canvas over there,
31:10and to make it seem like I painted it,
31:12I'm going to throw the paintbrush out the canvas.
31:14So that's furthest painting.
31:15Okay.
31:18I see a s***, don't you?
31:20I can't see anything else.
31:21It screams s*** to me.
31:23Go, go, go, go, go.
31:25Stop!
31:28There we go!
31:30Painting from a distance.
31:37I'm done.
31:44Okay.
31:45Anissa, I feel like you were as far away
31:48as a regular painter with slightly longer arms would have been.
31:51No, I did an aerodynamic paint.
31:55Oh, do you think that really long one's going to count?
31:57100%.
31:57Why?
31:58Because it added to the painting.
32:00A very integral part.
32:02Oh, okay.
32:02So when you're at someone else's place,
32:04and they're cooking,
32:05and they make a beautiful meal,
32:06do you walk over and put parsley on top and go,
32:08I cooked all of that?
32:11Okay, I think I'm going to have to take the original distance.
32:14I mean, that's where the painting was done, I guess.
32:16All right, Joel.
32:18When I can explain what mine is,
32:20it'll move you to tears.
32:21I, you know, really challenged myself with a super soaker
32:24because I wanted to impress the taskmaster.
32:30All right, well, I guess I have to have a guess.
32:33Yeah.
32:34Let's have a look.
32:34And we'll see.
32:37Um, okay.
32:39I think I've got Anissa's,
32:40because there was a lot of referencing to kicking her
32:42and, you know, the way that you use the word dog.
32:44So I'm guessing Anissa's favourite animal is a dog,
32:47and I think that Joel's favourite animal is flies.
32:54Can I tell you what my favourite animal is?
32:57I'm going to look at it while you say it.
32:58I love elephants, and this is...
33:01No, no, wait, wait, wait.
33:03This is a drone shot of a herd of elephants
33:07running away from those evil, evil poachers.
33:12I feel we're avoiding the issue of
33:14what is Anissa doing to that dog in the painting?
33:17My favourite type of animal
33:19is one that I don't have to be scared of.
33:21Your answer when I asked you what your favourite animal is...
33:23Did I just make something up?
33:24No, you said small, helpless dog.
33:30Okay, so to get back to the scoring,
33:31I didn't get Joel, so we don't count how far away he was.
33:34It was flies! It was flies!
33:37It was not flies, it was elephants.
33:39Um, yeah, Joel's fundraiser for the animal poaching community
33:41was done from 3.2 metres away,
33:43but it doesn't count. He's disqualified.
33:45Anissa was painting a dog,
33:47so her score of 1.1 metres will count.
33:50Okay.
33:52That's too much fine art for my liking.
33:54This is commercial television, goddammit.
33:56We'll see you after these ads!
34:09Welcome back to Taskmaster.
34:11You've made your way back.
34:13You're here.
34:14We're here.
34:15Where are we all going next, Cashman?
34:16Our comedians are trying to paint their favourite animal
34:19from as far away as possible.
34:20If you don't recognise the animal and the painting of it,
34:22then they are disqualified.
34:24With favourite animals of Beep, Beep,
34:25and my personal favourite, Beep,
34:27it's Brett, Celia and Rove.
34:33Furthest from the canvas...
34:35Flagpole?
34:35How heavy is that flagpole?
34:37Now, Tom, as we discussed,
34:39I'd like to have you involved.
34:40What I'm going to do is I'm going to launch it,
34:43like, yack it,
34:45real high,
34:45and then you've got to, like,
34:48with the canvas, yeah?
34:49OK.
34:49Do you have any gaffer tape?
34:51Yep.
34:52Good.
34:52Go get tape.
34:53OK.
34:53All right.
34:57Good boy.
34:58This is...
34:59I don't know this is going to work.
35:00OK.
35:02I mean, it looks funny.
35:04I wouldn't touch you with a ten-foot pole.
35:06Oh, no, I wouldn't.
35:07Sorry.
35:08So you've got to guess it at the end
35:09for the task to be complete.
35:11I'm not the Taskmaster.
35:12Oh.
35:13That's right.
35:14I already know what it is.
35:15Well, he'll know what it is now
35:17because there'll be footage of it.
35:18We're going to blur it.
35:19OK.
35:19I'm going to write
35:20on your forehead
35:21because they can't blur your face.
35:25And you've got a monobrow
35:26for no reason.
35:30Can you pretend to be my canvas?
35:32Sure.
35:33Could we do a different colour
35:35if we're doing it on my face?
35:36Hasn't been cancelled yet.
35:37Let's not start now.
35:40Oh, dude,
35:41that's going to rinse you so bad.
35:43Can you get cancelled
35:44for being blue face?
35:45I don't think so.
35:46Great.
35:46OK.
35:53I'm just going to try
35:53and make a stamp
35:54and we'll see what that looks like.
35:55OK.
35:56Does that look like **** to you?
35:58Well, we've got time to test
35:59whether the slingshot works.
36:04I'm pregnant
36:05and there's stirrups
36:06or some ****.
36:13Oh, jeez!
36:14So I just want to go,
36:14yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
36:16OK, hold on, let it...
36:18Uh-oh.
36:19No, that's not going to work.
36:20It's too heavy.
36:21Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit, shit.
36:23One minute and 50 seconds.
36:24Shit, shit, shit.
36:25Tom, help, help, hold this, hold.
36:27Do you want to have a go at this?
36:28Yeah.
36:29Come on, have a go.
36:29We've got time.
36:31This is sick.
36:34Hang on.
36:37Ready?
36:41Tom, I'm just going to go for it
36:43and just believe in myself.
36:45You've touched canvas.
36:47That's what I could feel.
36:49Tom.
36:49Yes.
36:50I've regretted this already.
36:52All right, back to the task.
36:53Let's go.
36:55Grab that.
36:56OK.
36:57Ready?
36:58Yeah.
36:58Fire in the hole!
37:05My flank pop!
37:07Quick, get that off the sink!
37:08OK, OK.
37:09Something yellow is getting on that canvas, Tom.
37:14This marvellous creature.
37:17So majestic.
37:19How much time have I got left?
37:2049 seconds.
37:2149?
37:22Yeah.
37:24Here comes...
37:28Oh, God.
37:34It's so bad!
37:40Yes!
37:41Yes!
37:42It's stuck in there as well!
37:45Guess that, Tom.
37:56What?
37:59So, Brett, we continue to see you.
38:01Just...
38:01It seems like you just do things
38:03that you think will be fun.
38:05Whether it relates to the task or not.
38:07No one is telling me off
38:09and I'm just having so much fun.
38:12I was trying to use the animal
38:13as, like, a stamp was my idea.
38:16OK, but you kept on practising, like,
38:17with balls and all the things
38:18that weren't the actual object
38:20that you wanted to use
38:21and then at the last second
38:22you just threw it and it went in.
38:23Yeah!
38:24Nailed it!
38:30Now, Celia, you're a bit on the same track.
38:32You were making a stamp.
38:33Yep.
38:34I thought I was genius
38:35thinking of the flagpole
38:36and it wasn't that heavy
38:37and then putting the pool noodle on the end
38:38and then I was faced with a very
38:41flaccid paintbrush.
38:43Now, Rove, you went for a long pole as well
38:45but when you actually went to paint
38:47you were instantly disappointed
38:48with what you had
38:49but you persevered anyway.
38:50Yeah.
38:51Did you learn that
38:52from your years of doing live TV?
38:53Absolutely.
38:54You're like,
38:56I'm just going to...
38:56Keep going.
38:57You'll get there eventually.
38:59Keep on trying, little one.
39:01All right, well, I need to be able
39:03to guess what the animals are.
39:04That's right.
39:04That's the price of entry.
39:05So I think we need to see
39:06your beautiful artworks.
39:12Tom.
39:13Tom, if you don't get that.
39:15No clues, please.
39:16No clues?
39:16No clues!
39:17You can see what Bret's is.
39:20Sorry, I'm a good shot.
39:22OK, well, I'm going to accept
39:24that Bret's is a collage.
39:25OK.
39:26Collage?
39:26That's not what Bert it is,
39:27you dickhead.
39:30All right.
39:31Ha, ha, ha, ha.
39:35That was really good.
39:36I'll take it.
39:37Rove, you still appeal
39:38to young people.
39:40He's back, baby!
39:41He's back, baby!
39:44Um, yeah, so I'm thinking
39:45Bret's is a kookaburra
39:47or something like that.
39:47That's correct.
39:49Celia was trying to stamp
39:50something, I have to guess
39:51what the original stamp was.
39:52I mean, it kind of looks
39:53like a bird too,
39:54but I don't really know
39:55what one.
39:56I'm going to say maybe
39:57a little chicken?
39:59Incorrect.
39:59A baby chick?
40:00I will cut you, Tom.
40:04Try again?
40:04You want to try again?
40:05There's no trying.
40:06Well, it's yellow, I guess.
40:08Oh, a canary?
40:08Oh, you want to hurt me,
40:10don't you?
40:11It's a little yellow bird.
40:14This type of bird
40:15is depicted in this way
40:17when they're fake.
40:18Also, it rhymes with
40:19come on, you b****.
40:27It's a canary.
40:29No.
40:31Yeah, it's a duck,
40:32but I've missed it.
40:33I'm so sorry.
40:34I know.
40:34OK, now roves.
40:36That's a bit tricky.
40:38Favourite animal.
40:39To me, it looks like an alligator
40:42looking to the left.
40:44Incorrect as well.
40:45Oh.
40:45It's meant to be a hippopotamus.
40:47Oh.
40:47Yeah.
40:48You can see it,
40:49but there was no hippos
40:50to throw at the canvas.
40:53Well, that means
40:54Joel, Celia and Rove
40:56are all disqualified,
40:58but Anissa somehow
40:59ends up with four points.
41:01And Brett takes home five points.
41:03Yes!
41:05In terms of the episode scores,
41:07we've got Celia
41:08in last place
41:09on eight points.
41:09Fine.
41:10But Anissa's in the lead
41:10with 14 points.
41:15You're all too close to me.
41:17Get on the stage
41:18for the final task of the show.
41:19Off you go.
41:24OK, who's going to read
41:25the live task?
41:26Brett will be reading this one.
41:28This is actually
41:28my worst nightmare.
41:29This is just like
41:30being at school again.
41:31Let's make the dyslexic kid
41:33read out loud.
41:34Blow one of your beach balls
41:36into the goal.
41:37You must only blow
41:39a beach ball.
41:41And must never touch it
41:42deliberately.
41:43You must remain
41:44behind the line
41:45fastest wins.
41:47You read it perfectly.
41:48You touched it, man.
41:49You touched it.
41:51Take that,
41:52year eight English teacher.
41:53Yeah.
41:54I'll take the task
41:55from you, Brett.
41:57Woo!
41:58Hey!
41:58I'm kidding.
42:00Woo!
42:01Ha ha ha.
42:01Ha ha ha.
42:05Ready, set.
42:08This is hot.
42:10Same, brother.
42:13That same's dumb.
42:14Shit!
42:17I may need another ball.
42:18Where's my ball?
42:28Get out of the way!
42:29Wait, wait!
42:30Go!
42:33These are unblowable!
42:35What is happening?
42:36These aren't the awesome
42:37of my element!
42:38Ha ha ha!
42:43Ha ha ha!
42:59Ha ha ha!
43:28Yes!
43:30İzlediğiniz için teşekkürler.
43:35Hayatlarımda.
43:36Bir sonraki.
43:37Ya.
43:38Bu ne?
43:39Bu ne?
43:39Bu ne?
43:43Bu ne?
43:53Bu ne?
44:03İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
44:35İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
45:02İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
45:10İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
45:15İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
45:33İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
45:34İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
45:39İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
47:20İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
47:23İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
47:34Adorabilirsiniz.
47:40İzlediğiniz için teşekkür ederim.
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