- 2 days ago
Amandaland - Season 2 Episode 2
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:00MUSIC
00:05Is that a sourdough loaf?
00:09Oh, my God, it's finally happening!
00:13Wow! Look at this!
00:15Hey, how's it going?
00:16It's so Nordic. I love all the pine.
00:20Mmm, this was exactly how I imagined Finland feels.
00:23Are you the same van to black as the one in Chiswick?
00:26Yeah, that's us. Fantastic.
00:27We were on the same street.
00:28You might remember Higa Tiga.
00:31Oh, yeah, is that the gift shop?
00:32It was a lifestyle concept store.
00:34Yeah, I guess it was my gift to Chiswick High Road.
00:37God, it's so great to have a kindred spirit in the locale.
00:41You know, I would be happy to give Vantablack a pump on the socials if you like.
00:45I run this little thing called Senuous.
00:49Cool. Love a local blog, yeah.
00:51It's not a local blog.
00:52Do you want a coffee? Oh!
00:54Gratis. As a thank you.
00:55I was supposed to be fasting till 11, but rules are made to be broken.
01:02Also, can I just say, big up to a fellow girl boss.
01:06Yeah, who runs the world, right?
01:08Jeff Bezos.
01:09I was going to say girls.
01:11Yeah.
01:13No, I love a bit of J.Lo.
01:15There you go.
01:17Oh, wow! Is that a vulva?
01:19It's a coffee bean.
01:19I love it.
01:21Yeah.
01:27Should have got a straw.
01:33Oh, hello.
01:34Who's this?
01:35Oh, this is Bobby, my new fur baby.
01:37I was feeling a bit lonely, so I went out and got myself a wolf.
01:41I mean, I would have started with a Jack Russell or something a bit smaller, like a hamster.
01:44Well, guys, she came, she saw, she gentrified.
01:50Soha just got its first decent coffee shop.
01:53What about Ron's coffee counter?
01:55He thought Cortado was a make of coffee.
01:57No, Vantablack coffee is a real boon for Soha.
02:01Just amazed it's happened so quickly.
02:03As I always said, if the Amanda can't go to the coffee, the coffee must come to the Amanda.
02:09So modest, yeah.
02:11It's quite funny though, yeah.
02:12Bobby, no!
02:13No, Bobby!
02:14You've got a fan there, Amanda.
02:16Who's this?
02:17Oh, this is Bobby.
02:19Oh, he's lovely.
02:21He slept next to me all night last night, farting away.
02:24Made me realise how much I miss Stella.
02:26Oh!
02:27Oh!
02:28Oh!
02:29Actually, no thank you, Bobby.
02:30Come on, Bobby.
02:31Where's your ball?
02:32Bobby, where's your ball?
02:33I think he's found his balls, Vee.
02:35That's all right.
02:37Mate!
02:38Oi!
02:38Mate!
02:38What are you doing?
02:39Mate!
02:40You can't just drive on here!
02:42What are you doing?
02:42Are you serious?
02:44What?
02:44Who does that?
02:45Mummy!
02:46How are you doing here?
02:49Counter-doting grandmother, counter-chair on her little bear.
02:53Go Georgie!
02:54Right, anyone for brunch?
02:55No can do, I'm afraid, Mummy.
02:58Doing a bit of pro bono for Vantablack.
03:00Promise I'll pop in later, do some shots for the gram.
03:02You can come with if you like, Mummy, but I will be working.
03:04It's very noble of you, man, helping out local business.
03:08I just think Halston is crying out for a community hub.
03:11I'll tell you what it's not crying out for, it's a £5 bloody croissant.
03:15Croissant.
03:16And you're paying for the quality.
03:18If you want a bog-standard pastry, there's always Greggs.
03:20Babe, if you come for Greggs, you come for me.
03:23I am not coming for Greggs.
03:25Okay, well, I'm just saying you don't have to remortgage your flat for a coffee, so...
03:28Please don't make this a class war, Abigail.
03:31There's a place in Soha for everyone.
03:33I'll go to Vantablack's, you can go to Greggs.
03:36Okay.
03:36Look, who's this man Gregg, and why is everyone still talking about him?
03:40Anyway, the male brunch?
03:42I'd love to, I've got to go and look at some sheds.
03:44Oh, tell me you're middle-aged without telling me you're middle-aged.
03:47No, Ned's outgrown his bunk, the double bed's taken up his entire room,
03:51so I thought we'd build the shed together over half-time to give him some more space.
03:54And where exactly is this shed going to go?
03:57It's at the end of my garden.
03:58My garden?
03:59No, I'm pretty sure it's my garden.
04:01That's why they call it a garden flat.
04:03No, they call it a garden flat because people are too polite to say you live in my cellar.
04:07I'm trying to get rid of an old summer house.
04:09You can have it for nothing if you can be bothered to take it apart.
04:12Oh, happy days, yeah. Absolutely, cheers.
04:15Well, let's make a plan after coffee.
04:16Nobody leave without me.
04:18That sounds great. I'll give you a hand if you like.
04:20Since when have you been into DIY?
04:22Oh, well, it would be nice to have some father-son step-father bonding time.
04:26You know, I can learn from the master.
04:28There's a bottle cap over there.
04:29A bottle cap, yeah, and that.
04:32Yeah, well, if you can't do the time, don't do the crime.
04:34What's going on?
04:35I suppose you've all heard about Anusgate.
04:37What?
04:38I got a phone call from the school.
04:39Yes.
04:40To say that they caught Darius sending pictures of his bumhole on Snapchat.
04:45Oh!
04:46Oh!
04:47Gross.
04:47There's only a photo of my clenched fist.
04:49Yes, which looks remarkably like your chocolate starfish.
04:52You know, this could very easily have gone viral.
04:54So I've taken things into my own hands.
04:57Have a look, and feel free to share the results with your teens.
05:00Please repost to show my e-jits on how fast things spread online.
05:04Please don't tell me you've posted that.
05:06Yes, I have.
05:07I posted it this morning, and I've already gotten 140 shares.
05:09That's even more embarrassing than posting a picture with actual bumholes.
05:12Yeah, well, maybe I'll think twice now about sending another picture.
05:16Oh, yeah.
05:17Yeah, it does look like an anus.
05:19Oh, gosh.
05:20I'm so sorry.
05:21Get that lid!
05:31What have you seen?
05:32Nothing, Mummy.
05:32I'm posing for the camera.
05:35Do you get it?
05:36Yeah.
05:36OK, right.
05:37I'm going to do one with this and swap seats for a different background.
05:41Keep the camera up, Anus.
05:46So you post a picture of yourself eating cakes, and that's a job?
05:50No, I'm going to edit it together into a montage under the hashtag
05:54Let's So Heart Eat Cake.
05:56Vive la revolution.
05:57Can I have some of these if you're not going to eat them?
06:00No, Manus, we're going to the dentist at two.
06:01Actually, we need to bust a move.
06:03We're so soon.
06:03Shall I come with?
06:04Mummy, we're going to the dentist.
06:05Just stay and enjoy your coffee.
06:08OK, so we have a latte for Felicity.
06:11And a turmeric and ginger power shot.
06:17Ellie, babe.
06:18These cakes are going to look amazing on the socials.
06:20I'll pop in later and give you a sneaky peek before it goes viral.
06:24Amanda!
06:27It's a coffee bean, Mummy.
06:28Just give it a stir.
06:30Right, Manus, let's ride.
06:36Do you do wine?
06:40March 2022.
06:41Bin it.
06:43Oh, it's bad enough that I'm grounded.
06:44Now you're making me do this.
06:46I'm sorry, but you're getting no sympathy from me, Darius.
06:49If you hadn't...
06:49Ah, Jesus, a mouse has gotten into me pankos.
06:51I only showed the picture to a couple, Mason.
06:53It wasn't even my real bum hole.
06:55Yeah, well, you're going to have to learn the hard way, aren't you?
06:57Speaking of which, it's time we saw how our pot plant was going.
07:04God bloody hell!
07:05Hey, hey, hey, hey.
07:06What?
07:06Watch your language.
07:07Okay.
07:09Shit the fucking bed.
07:11That's been retweeted 40,000 times.
07:13And there's 296 comments.
07:15How do you get your piece of dilly looking so healthy?
07:18Do you water it every day?
07:21God.
07:23I've never been so popular.
07:25Won't have to reply to these.
07:27Keep going with the cleaning, Darius.
07:29You're still on probation.
07:32Right, let's get the other door off.
07:34So we go lefty loosey, righty tighty.
07:37Oh, that's good.
07:38Yeah.
07:39Wait, did you come up with that?
07:40No, my granddad taught it to my dad and he taught it to me.
07:43Now I'm teaching it to Ned.
07:45Right, so if you want to start on the left side.
07:47Me and Ned will do the right.
07:49Just give us a shot if you need a hand.
07:51I would have killed for a shed like this when I was a teenager.
07:53You know, somewhere to chill, some magic FM, set up the Warhammer.
07:59How are we married to the same woman?
08:01What is that?
08:03Oh, this, it is an impact driver.
08:05I didn't know you were into DIY.
08:06Oh, I'm not really, but it was on sale and I can't resist a witch best buy.
08:11You want to go?
08:12Oh no, I'm good with the screwdriver.
08:14I got this kit when my granddad died.
08:16Right, you watching this Ned?
08:17You just line this up straight with you.
08:19Can't you just use JJ's drill thingy?
08:20It looks way quicker.
08:21Can't you just concentrate?
08:24Left side done.
08:25See?
08:27Wow.
08:28Want me to start on the inside while I wait?
08:30Oh, boys.
08:31I brought you some homemade lemonade.
08:33Nice.
08:34Well, fancy.
08:35Thanks.
08:36It's just a little something I rustled up.
08:38This is spring.
08:41Um, are you sure you want to get rid of this?
08:44It's in really good nick.
08:45Oh no, take it.
08:46I just used it for the occasional soiree in the garden during lockdown.
08:49But most of my friends have sadly left us.
08:52No, no, that's awful.
08:53I'm sorry.
08:53No, they didn't die.
08:54They just moved the Cayman Islands when Labour got in.
08:59Oh.
09:00Um, it don't feel like you have to wait out here in the cold with us.
09:03No, it's fine.
09:05I love watching men at work.
09:07Heads!
09:09Whoa!
09:10That's the front done.
09:12What next?
09:23Ellie, babe, we're out of Aesop in the loo.
09:25Oh, cheers.
09:26Did you want another coffee?
09:28Yes, please.
09:29Although I'm very tempted by your matcha.
09:31Matcha coming at you.
09:32Oh, that's good.
09:33Are you going to put that on the chalkboard, Ellie?
09:37Oh, God.
09:38Give me a break.
09:40Is that your boss?
09:41Oh, no, that's just the guy I collab with, my co-collabber.
09:44No, I'm a digital nomad.
09:47To paraphrase the song, wherever I lay my laptop, that's my office.
09:51I'll leave you to it, then.
09:52Yeah, if you don't mind, cos I've actually got a huge deadline, so...
10:06Oh, by the way, my latest post on the cafe got a lot of traction yesterday,
10:10so expect a bit of a flurry.
10:12Great, cos we've just had these in.
10:14Oh, yeah?
10:15It is...
10:15Oh, wow!
10:17Hello!
10:18What's this?
10:19It's a macaroni.
10:21A macaroni doughnut?
10:22No, no, it's a macaroni and a doughnut.
10:25That makes more sense.
10:26Yeah.
10:27Sorry.
10:28I do need to concentrate, so if you could just...
10:35Hello, how are you?
10:38Fee!
10:40Hello!
10:41Oh, my God!
10:42That's my good friend, Fee!
10:44Do you identify the chef?
10:45That's her wife.
10:46She's a lesbian.
10:47Fee!
10:48You come for a coffee?
10:49Hey, man!
10:50I was just about to go and meet my dog walking pal.
10:53Get in here!
10:54Come on!
10:54You've got to try one of these insane matches.
10:57Oh, my goodness!
10:58Just...
10:59Welcome.
10:59Oh, my God!
11:00Yeah, I know.
11:01It's great, isn't it?
11:02Yeah, I know.
11:03I'm really pleased with it.
11:04Oh, yeah.
11:05Fee, let me get a shot of you for the ground with the macaroni art.
11:08Yeah.
11:08Oh, a macaroni doughnut?
11:10No, it's a macaron and a doughnut, Fee.
11:13Oh.
11:13Obviously.
11:15It's OK.
11:16Oh, sorry.
11:17Yeah.
11:18Here we go.
11:19Really?
11:19That face?
11:21Yeah.
11:21OK.
11:21No.
11:22No, it's fun.
11:23Oh, yes.
11:24Right, I'm just going to upload that to the socials.
11:27Hello.
11:28I thought I'd do a quick video about how I care for my peace lily.
11:31That sounds just like Anne.
11:33It is Anne.
11:34That's her wedding ring.
11:35You're doing well.
11:35I'm sure that's her bedroom.
11:37First, every day I check for her.
11:38What is going on?
11:39You draw dead leaves.
11:40Here's my...
11:41Oh, my God.
11:41It's the Irish lady with the plants.
11:43I mean, good for her having a go, but please, Anne, come on, leave it to the professionals.
11:48That's so embarrassing.
11:50This one's got over a million views.
11:52Yeah, right.
11:53No, it does.
11:54It's over a million.
11:56What?
11:56Yeah.
11:57People love her.
11:58How has that got a million views?
12:00It's just some little fat hounds and a plant.
12:02Has she done any more?
12:04Yeah, look.
12:04This one has got over four mil and she only posted it last night.
12:08Wow.
12:10Hands are new.
12:11Charlie bit my finger.
12:13What?
12:14That's crazy.
12:17Come on, Bobby.
12:21All right.
12:22Let's get this thing built.
12:23So you just grip it at the end and give it a nice controlled swing like so.
12:27Good.
12:28It's only me.
12:29Oh, God.
12:30George, you let me in.
12:31You left this little box of bits behind and I thought it might be important.
12:36You really didn't have to come all this way, you know, Felicity.
12:39Just checking in on my favourite workman.
12:42As you were.
12:43Ah.
12:44There we are.
12:45All right.
12:45So, remember Ned, you hold the hammer at the bottom of the handle.
12:50And you just let gravity do the work.
12:52JJ, is that a nail gun?
12:54Yeah.
12:54I saw it in Screwfix and I thought, treat yourself.
12:57They have very different definitions of treats.
13:00Can I have a go?
13:00No.
13:01Come on.
13:02This is what woodwork is all about.
13:04Like this, not these fancy guns and tools.
13:07Sorry.
13:08All right.
13:08Concentrate.
13:09Okay.
13:10Here we go.
13:17Are you okay, mate?
13:18I've got a fur stick here in the car.
13:20Nah, I'm all right.
13:21Okay.
13:21Just need to not breathe for a bit.
13:29Amanda.
13:30Hey, Anne.
13:31You okay?
13:32Yeah.
13:32I just feel like we haven't connected in ages.
13:35And I was just passing.
13:36Just putting the twins to bed.
13:37Oh, that's okay.
13:38Just sticking in front of a bluey.
13:41A cartoon.
13:42A cartoon.
13:45Oh, God.
13:46Really sweet and shabby and grubby and...
13:49Yeah.
13:50Oh!
13:53Well, no bedtimes are hard on.
13:54That's a bit drastic.
13:56I just got sent it out of the blue by some company.
13:59They make their own cucumber and aloe gin.
14:01Sounds like a shower gel.
14:02Why'd they send that to you?
14:03Oh!
14:04Well, they saw an Insta film I made about an aloe plant that I rescued from the clearance shelf
14:09in B&Q and they thought I'd like it.
14:11That's just stupid.
14:13Is that not how Senuous works?
14:15Like that time we got sent four boxes of mouthwash?
14:18No, that's totally different, Anne.
14:19Oh.
14:20Now, listen.
14:21I've been working as an influencer for quite some time now.
14:25And do you know what I don't have?
14:27Followers?
14:27No, Anne.
14:28A mentee.
14:29I'm a mentor without a mentee and I think you might just be that mentee for me.
14:34Oh!
14:35Now we've got to undo all those bad habits you've picked up.
14:38Back to basics.
14:40Makeup.
14:40Oh, but it's only my hands that are in shut.
14:42I usually do my posts first thing, so most of the time I'm just straight out of the shower.
14:46And creating content isn't just a hobby, it's a way of life.
14:50Okay?
14:51I think you need to be a bit more respectful of my culture.
14:55Um...
14:55My apologies to your people.
14:58Mm-hmm.
14:58Yeah.
14:59Yeah.
15:00Come on!
15:03I just love plants.
15:05Nature really gets me in the fields, you know?
15:07Yes, you can't beat a bit of green fingering.
15:10And just to add, if you're vibing with this, then like and subscribe to Senuous for more inspiring content.
15:17Oh, wow.
15:18Meg and Mark will eat your heart out.
15:20You think?
15:21So good.
15:21It's so good.
15:22It's quite a departure from my usual posts.
15:25And this will have boosted your viewing figures no end.
15:27Well, according to the analytics, they've actually dropped off a bit.
15:31Let me see.
15:32It's about 70,000 less than my previous three posts.
15:37Oh, well, Anne, that's just numbers.
15:39My own wasn't built in a day.
15:40Okay.
15:41That's the problem with the new gen of influencers.
15:43They expect overnight success.
15:44Well, I think we should just go back to doing that, Anne, love.
15:47Honestly.
15:48No offence, man.
15:48I don't know what happens.
15:49Abigail, with the greatest respect, this is my forte and I'm imparting my extensive expertise
15:55for free to my friend who's struggling.
15:57So you just stick to the...
16:00Running a food bank.
16:03Please, not virtue signalling.
16:05It's just...
16:07I gave you guys £3,000.
16:09You don't hear me shoe-warning into every conversation.
16:16She literally gave me a seven-foot chat.
16:27Jeez Louise.
16:28It's cold out there.
16:29All right for you.
16:30You ain't got to go out and bleeding short.
16:32I should have brought my thermals.
16:33Oh, go on, Bobby.
16:38Is your mum all right, Amanda?
16:40Yeah, she's fine.
16:41I mean, she never really got over John Lewis reducing their loyalty points, but otherwise
16:45she's all right.
16:46She's constantly in my garden.
16:47My garden.
16:48You think she might be a bit lonely?
16:50Lonely?
16:50My mother.
16:51Yeah.
16:53Please.
16:54She should get a dog if she's lonely.
16:56No, Fi.
16:57I was lonely without Dells, then I got a dog and I met loads of new dog walking pals
17:01and I'm no longer lonely.
17:03Fi, that makes you sound really lonely.
17:05Guys, my mother's not lonely.
17:08Honestly, she's got a more active social life than I do.
17:11She's basically brunching away through my inheritance.
17:14Don't you worry about her.
17:15Then why is she currently sat on my front step waiting for me to let her in like a stray
17:20cat?
17:20It's freezing out there.
17:22Fine.
17:23I'll have a word.
17:25Oh!
17:26Look!
17:27It's Pippa's mummy!
17:29Maggie!
17:30Look at who I'm with!
17:31Who's this?
17:32She is a massive, massive fan of yours.
17:35Here.
17:36Have a look at this.
17:37Come on, Pippa.
17:38Here we go.
17:39Are you the lady from Insta?
17:41Guilty as charged.
17:43My fiddle leaf tree has never looked so healthy.
17:48I love your accent, by the way.
17:50Oh, thank you.
17:51Wait, wait, wait.
17:51We have to FaceTime my friend Sarah.
17:53She loves you too.
17:54Yeah.
17:54You're a proper select now, Anne.
17:56Hi.
17:57You're not going to believe who I'm with.
17:59Oh, my God.
18:00Fi, what is going on with your dog?
18:02Every time it sees me.
18:04It does that.
18:05But you think?
18:06Yes.
18:07Your dog clearly fancies me.
18:08But it might be worms, Max.
18:10It's not worms, Fi.
18:11I've seen this before.
18:13Albeit on human men, but it's definitely a thing.
18:16Oh, my God.
18:17Can you say Bregonia?
18:18Bregonia.
18:18Bregonia.
18:25Hey, girl.
18:26Busy today, I see.
18:28My post must be kicking in.
18:30I'll get the usual.
18:31Sure.
18:32And an almond croissant.
18:35I shouldn't, couldn't, wouldn't, but...
18:37You know what?
18:38I'll actually get a couple of extra for the kids.
18:39Sure.
18:40Just while I've got you, did you want to settle up your tab?
18:42I just thought, just coming up towards the end of the week.
18:46Oh, that's good.
18:47A tab.
18:50Oh, you're not joking.
18:52Here you go.
18:54This is £270.
18:56Hmm?
18:57You said my drinks were gratis.
18:59I said the first coffee was gratis.
19:01Yeah.
19:02Gratis.
19:04Ss.
19:06Plural.
19:07You can see why I thought it was more than one.
19:10Er, not really.
19:11It is the plural of the Latin word gratia, but in English it functions in an invariable form.
19:16Don't patronise me, sweetheart.
19:18I am not.
19:18I did a classics degree.
19:20You want to talk Latin?
19:21Let's talk Latin.
19:22Okay.
19:23Prid quo pro, Ellie.
19:25I have been doing a lot of work for you on the socials.
19:28Do you have any idea how much word of mouth I've generated for you, my love?
19:32Clearly not enough, because you are our only customer.
19:36Low blow, Ellie.
19:37Low blow.
19:38No need to make this personal.
19:40It's the opposite of making a personal Amanda and Mum trying to run a business.
19:42Well, maybe if you didn't charge £4.50 for a coffee with a vagina on top.
19:46It's a coffee bean.
19:49That's for today's drink, and you're not getting a penny more.
19:52And I'm taking a scum.
19:53Gratia.
19:57How's going on in your town?
20:01All right.
20:02So, the secret is to tidy as you go, so grab the broom.
20:05That's going to take ages.
20:07Thank you, Felicity.
20:08If you could just lean us to it.
20:10There you are.
20:11Oh, look, Amanda's home.
20:12Maybe you want to hang out in her flat, Felicity.
20:14No, I'm fine.
20:16Er...
20:16You are not going to believe what just happened to me.
20:18Did someone just guess your real age?
20:20No, Mal.
20:20The woman of Antibank Coffee, she just asked me to pay for every single item I've consumed this week.
20:26Normally you would be shocked by that.
20:28Well, there's no such thing as a free lunch, darling.
20:30There's no such thing as a free shed.
20:32Do you know what?
20:32Forget it.
20:34Er, Amanda, can you, um...
20:36Not now, Mal.
20:37I am enraged.
20:43Yo, JJ.
20:44That looks way more fun.
20:45Let me have a go.
20:46You know what?
20:48I give up.
20:49I don't know why I bother.
20:51Is he...?
20:52Is he alright?
20:54Come on.
20:55Mal, you in here?
20:57You alright, mate?
20:58Yeah, I'm fine.
21:00Cool, it's just...
21:01That's a lot of sriracha.
21:06I know it's stupid, but all of those lessons my dad taught me, like, how to chisel and use a
21:12screwdriver, kids these days just don't need to know that.
21:15Like, using an A to Z or the yellow pages is just useless information.
21:20You're spending time with him, showing him how to solve problems.
21:24My dad spent years teaching me how to code.
21:26Nobody needs to learn how to code anymore.
21:28AI can do it in, like, a nanosecond.
21:31But I'm still glad I spent time with him.
21:34Yeah?
21:37Yeah, I should probably apologise to him, eh?
21:39Yeah.
21:40And then, um...
21:42Do you want to have a go on my nail gun?
21:44Fuck yeah.
21:44Yeah.
21:50Oh, okay.
21:51I'm gonna get some water.
21:52I'm burning.
21:52I'm burning.
21:53Mmm!
22:10Hi, Amanda.
22:11What's this?
22:12Sorry, but you gave me no choice but to name and shame.
22:15That's illegal.
22:16Do you know what else is illegal?
22:17Not paying your bill.
22:19Take it down.
22:20No, not until you've paid.
22:21Ellie, are you...
22:22It is £270!
22:25Amanda, you're lucky I haven't gone to the police.
22:27You're lucky I haven't called my lawyer.
22:29Do you even have a lawyer?
22:29Yes, I do have a lawyer, Ellie, actually, and I'm gonna call them right now.
22:32Come on.
22:40Yeah, hi.
22:41It's Amanda Hughes, and I'd like to speak to my solicitor, please.
22:45They're putting me through.
22:47Last chance, Ellie.
22:48No.
22:51Yeah.
22:52Hi, it's Amanda, and I...
22:56He got cut off, he's calling me back.
22:57I can see the caller ID, it's your mum.
22:59Yes.
23:01She's my lawyer.
23:02No, she's not.
23:09I can't actually afford to pay you right now.
23:12How are you gonna settle this bill, then?
23:16Okay.
23:17And...
23:17Action.
23:19Whenever I'm in Soha, I like to enjoy a coffee from Vantablack Coffee.
23:26And...
23:27Cut!
23:28Great.
23:28Okay?
23:29Yeah.
23:30Right, I'm just gonna post this on your Insta, Anne.
23:33Why is there a William Balls on my coffee?
23:35It's not.
23:36It's a shamrock.
23:48Oh, Ned!
23:50Backgammon?
23:51Chess?
23:52Cards?
23:53I could make it interesting.
23:57Amanda?
23:58Hmm?
23:58Play it cool.
23:59Your boyfriend's just walked in.
24:01What?
24:04Please don't make light of it, Abigail.
24:06I actually feel quite violated.
24:07Good news.
24:09The vet's had a look at Bob's bits and bobs,
24:11and it turns out he was obsessed with his privates
24:13because he needed his glands drained.
24:15So you are off the hook.
24:18Oh, man.
24:19I'm sorry Bobbie doesn't fancy you.
24:21Yeah, that's great news,
24:23because, frankly, it was gross, so...
24:24I'm glad.
24:27Hi.
24:28Hi.
24:30What's wrong?
24:31I've had no end of grief since that Vantablack Post.
24:33Everyone is accusing me of being a Judas and a sellout.
24:36That's ridiculous.
24:37How do they expect internet artists to make money?
24:39Look at the comments.
24:40We came here for plant pot hacks,
24:43and now she's trying to peddle us expensive coffee.
24:45Well...
24:45And apparently,
24:46I am all that is wrong with society, Amanda.
24:49Haters gonna hate, Anne.
24:50You know?
24:51Yeah, well, I don't want to be hated.
24:52So I've gone back to my hands, my voice, and my pot plants.
24:55Okay, Anne.
24:56I should never have messed with the formula.
24:59Mum, how could you?
25:00What?
25:01After all those talks of online safety
25:03and you go and flash the entire internet.
25:05What are you talking about?
25:06That's just a Christmas cactus.
25:08No, Mum.
25:09Look at the pots.
25:11Hmm?
25:12Oh, my God.
25:14See, exactly.
25:14You were worried about some fake bum hole
25:16and now everyone in the world has seen my mum's tits.
25:18Oh, shit.
25:22Symmetrical.
25:23Good for you, Anne.
25:30Yo, Ned.
25:32You all right, Dad?
25:33Yeah, you want to go hang out in the shed?
25:35I mean, I would, but it's infested with old ladies.
25:43All right, I'm going to have a word.
25:45You know what?
25:46I think Felicity needs a shed more than I do.
25:48Yeah.
25:51Yeah.
25:52All right, fine, you can have my room.
25:53Yeah.
25:55Thank you, Dad.
25:57I love you so much.
25:58I love you.
25:59Cheers.
26:00Cheers.
26:00Oh, yeah.
26:01It's so nice to be somewhere where the drinks are actually free.
26:04Yeah.
26:04Mum, you know if you're ever lonely, you just have to say.
26:07Why would you ever think I'd be lonely?
26:09Oh, damn it.
26:11What's up, Anne?
26:12Oh, God.
26:13They've only gone and cancelled my appearance on Alan Titchmarsh.
26:16Oh, Anne.
26:17Yeah.
26:18We should never have gone on that feckin' Insta.
26:21Hey, all publicity's good publicity.
26:23Tell that to Prince Andrew.
26:24Right.
26:25Can we all do a selfie?
26:27The Sour House Gang?
26:28Oh, Mummy, sweet.
26:30Yes.
26:31OK, where is it?
26:32Where is it?
26:33OK, just a second.
26:34OK.
26:35And your tits out again.
26:36Oh, God.
26:36I'm joking, Anne.
26:37I'm joking.
26:40Oh!
26:41That's fantastic.
26:42Did you see some more ice?
26:44Will you watch Bobby for me?
26:45Yeah.
26:45Thanks.
26:48All right, Poppy.
26:52You little perv.
26:57Still got it.
27:15Bye.
27:24Nice.
27:31Bye.
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