- 7 hours ago
Falling S01E04
Category
š„
Short filmTranscript
00:25It's just, it's just one bag, quite small.
00:28They don't, I don't, they don't want me to bring much.
00:31No, no, no. Yes, I read the booklet.
00:35So I can carry it?
00:37I always thought we should have redecorated this room. It was on my list, actually.
00:40Well, you can now.
00:42No, no, no, I meant for you. I meant this room was done up for a seven-year-old. You've
00:45dears on the wallpaper.
00:47I should have given it a lick of blue paint over the summer sometime. Made it feel more like a
00:51grown-up's room.
00:52I like it.
00:53My point is, I think you grew up. And I didn't notice.
01:02Well, Dad, none of this is to upset you. I found an answer to something, that's all.
01:11Ariel, are you there?
01:16Anna? If you're there, you need to talk.
01:24I'm just posting my number through the door.
01:28I just like to talk. Talk more.
01:32That's all.
02:02I'm just posting my number through the door.
02:02I'm just posting my number through the door.
02:19I'm jury feel good.
02:24We'll be here.
02:26I'm wod hypothetically, I'm inabel.
02:27millet's that slįŗ”i of love.
02:28Two, two, two, three.
02:42No honey sandwiches?
02:43No, no, no.
02:45Should I can wash those up enough?
02:47Yeah?
02:48Don't.
02:52How are you doing?
03:09Oh, you brought him?
03:11Yeah.
03:13You've been waiting long, Father?
03:16I'm sorry to keep you.
03:18I'm having a bladder reaction to the drugs or something.
03:21They were changing my path.
03:24Is that the right level of embarrassing for you?
03:26Yeah.
03:28Do you want...
03:29Would you prefer some private time?
03:31No.
03:33She wanted you here.
03:35Besides, we've had enough of that.
03:38She's bored of me yapping away,
03:40complaining about this, that, the other.
03:43You're in pain?
03:44Oh, yeah.
03:46And it's on my notes that I'm an addict,
03:48so they're being very cheap with the painkillers.
03:53Tina wanted me to come and ask
03:56what you want to do next.
03:59I'd like to go home and live my life.
04:01Thank you very much.
04:04I suppose I am concerned that we have Tina's baby underway.
04:11Well, I'll let him back in and he'll mess up that kid too.
04:15You're still charming.
04:18Tina wants help.
04:20I just want things to be different now.
04:28So you went to a priest.
04:30I'm not a priest.
04:33Yeah, just someone who cares.
04:36We all care, Father.
04:40Some more than we should.
04:55I am through with vetting families for schools.
05:01Little Algernon is a firm Catholic.
05:03We can't attend, of course.
05:05We dry ski on Sundays.
05:06But he prays daily,
05:07and we bought him some of your holy beads from Amazon.
05:10Show him, Algie.
05:11Show him.
05:11I'm sure his name isn't Algernon.
05:13No.
05:14It's called Biscuit or some such nonsense.
05:19Sermon?
05:22Uh, uh, it's my sister's marriage, my son.
05:26I didn't see it in the diary.
05:27Second marriage, yeah.
05:30First one was a bloke's an arsehole.
05:34It's a registry office wedding,
05:36and then a blessing in the garden.
05:38And praise be she's getting on the horse again.
05:41What?
05:42The church isn't right about everything.
05:45And I like your sister.
05:48And I like people getting on horses.
05:52I'm extending an awkward metaphor.
05:56I'm checking you're getting the help you need.
05:59I'm getting the help I need.
06:02I love which is coming from my sister.
06:05Well, that's good.
06:09I was concerned, et cetera.
06:12I won't interfere, et cetera.
06:15Consider me spent.
06:21Now, we've had a strange request I didn't know.
06:24whether to pass on.
06:26The chaplain at HMP Avonmouth has requested a visit.
06:31What?
06:32Apparitioner has requested you.
06:34Tina's father.
06:36I don't think you should.
06:39I'm not even sure Tina would like you going.
06:43But, uh,
06:46your decision.
06:55Happy birthday.
07:26Oh.
07:30I, uh, I wasn't sure whether to, um...
07:32Knocked what you liked four or five times at Muriel's.
07:34Every now.
07:36Well, that is, uh, impressive of you.
07:38I've run.
07:40Repeatedly.
07:41You've done a lot.
07:43Very thorough.
07:45It's, uh...
07:46You're getting to sound like harassment.
07:51I, um...
07:52I wanted to talk to you.
07:55I'm aware.
07:58I just wanted to say that I stand by everything I've said.
08:04I, I've, I've thought about it, and, um, this doesn't often happen to me, but, uh...
08:10I think I was right.
08:13I think you and I should accept that what happened between us was meaningful.
08:17But not in the way...
08:19Well, not...
08:20Not in the way that I thought it to be meaningful.
08:24Can I speak?
08:25No.
08:27No.
08:29Yes, if you want to.
08:35You're...
08:36But you're not allowed to compliment me.
08:38Can you?
08:38Just, if, for instance, you were going to say, uh, that I was formidable, or fantastic, or even just interesting,
08:47or anything about how I look or how I am, then that, that wouldn't be okay to say.
08:53Why not?
08:57Let me just start from the beginning.
08:58From the beginning, and the end, is that I changed my life for you.
09:04And you are not responsible for that.
09:07I really, I really hope I've made it clear that you are not responsible for that.
09:13It's just the truth.
09:14I've, I've found all of this very confusing.
09:18I apologise.
09:20I also hope I've made it clear that it was all me, and, uh, I, I do apologise for your
09:28confusion.
09:29But I wasn't all you.
09:30You're not allowed to say that either.
09:31Hello, what am I allowed to say?
09:37Have you been praying?
09:39What about you?
09:41No.
09:42No, not about me.
09:45I just mean, have you, have you been, uh, praying generally?
09:49I feel like I've, uh, been the cause of some spiritual undoing, and I just, I just wanted to make
09:57sure that you've been, you've been praying again.
10:01You have been praying.
10:03Have you?
10:04Yes.
10:07I've also been going more regularly to our college anonymous.
10:11It's not something I want advertised, but something you probably guessed.
10:19Yeah, I did, um, sense them, and that's helpful.
10:26Good, son.
10:27My sister's good people around me.
10:34Well, you want to feel responsible.
10:37You shouldn't apologise, I shouldn't.
10:41I'm sorry.
10:43I've behaved towards you.
10:46Like, I felt you, you made me feel things.
10:51I, I, I need you to know that.
10:54You make me feel things.
11:01Now, I'm trying to set myself right.
11:03I'm determined to be a good priest.
11:06At least the best priest I'm capable of being.
11:08I mean, my confusion was not for you.
11:14It was, it was, you brought to light.
11:19Well, you've done a bit more than you bring to light.
11:20You've done a bit more than I, too.
11:21You've done a bit more than you've done.
11:25You've done a bit more than you've done it.
11:26At AA, we tried to explain not who we are, but why we are.
11:32And I think you saw the who, but not the why.
11:39I think my understanding of what I should be has been,
11:42I think I've been trying to help people in the wrong way.
11:46And which way is that?
11:48Saving people.
11:51Some addiction like any other.
12:22Wonderful is the word I would have used.
12:26Describe you.
12:33I'll see you again.
12:37What if I see you first?
13:09I'll see you again.
13:13I'll see you again.
13:21Is that you?
13:24Of course it's you.
13:26I'm due on shift.
13:28Oh, I've cooked.
13:30A disgusting idea, I know, but on the off chance you're not repulsed.
13:34There's half a shepherd's pie in the oven.
13:36You look like you're coming down with a cold.
13:39No?
13:39No, I'm fine.
13:40You sure?
13:42What time you're back?
13:43Shift ends, 5am.
13:44Very lucky enough, come here.
13:48Eat the pie.
13:57Me.
13:59Mila gets two ahead of you.
14:01We're going local for this one.
14:03In which English county will you find what you have?
14:06Seven.
14:08Not quite.
14:10Five.
14:11Correctly.
14:11What card suits you use is your enunciated swingage.
14:15Three.
14:20Five.
14:27One.
14:29One.
14:36One.
14:40One.
15:11Can I have a glass of red wine, please?
15:13Oh, you've got a list if you want to...
15:15Oh, just the cheapest.
15:16Come right up.
15:17Come right up.
15:18Come right up.
15:19Come right up.
17:56irritated by the sound of my own thoughts i know that feeling hey tanny oh anna hi
18:11who are you with uh my brother and his wife yeah they came here to get away from their kids
18:17and they just want to talk about the kids
18:22you got children yeah no you uh yeah yeah one and it's eleven
18:29it's my night of course it's uh it's tricky yeah i can imagine
18:37what do you do anna uh i'm a cook
18:46a cafe cook which cafe well really i just i make um cakes and bakes and sell them to different
18:55cafes it's just a home kitchen nothing big keeps me going i might eat the sausage
19:02roll reels in my time that's spicy lamb rolls my speciality
19:11what do you do i have a sister work for the city council
19:18oh listen i'm not very good at getting served but um can i buy a drink
19:32uh one more and i'll be drunk
19:38i'm a member to be honest i am uh i'm a bit bored of this place
19:45have you have you got somewhere with your dough
19:49uh
19:50uh
19:51uh
19:52uh
19:52uh
20:06uh
20:33I'm so excited to see you next time.
20:38It's okay.
20:40I'll just say you're in great shape.
20:43Better shape than me.
21:03Are you okay?
21:06Am I going too fast?
21:11I'm sorry.
21:12This was your idea, wasn't it?
21:17No, it's not you.
21:19It's not.
21:19I'm sorry if I...
21:21No, ma'am.
21:22It's not you.
21:23I'm sorry.
21:26It's okay.
21:27I like you.
21:28Shall I?
21:30I can make a cup of tea.
21:32Some biscuits.
21:32Maybe we can talk about it.
21:35I...
21:38I'm...
21:40I can't.
21:41Where are you going?
21:43Can I call you?
21:45No.
21:50Anna?
21:52You've done nothing on this assist.
21:54It's my mistake.
21:56Please, please don't.
21:57I don't...
21:58I don't want this.
22:00I'm not ready.
22:01You've done nothing on this.
22:07I can't...
22:10I can't.
22:14I can't.
22:19I can't.
22:21I won't.
24:10There's a priest.
24:18What do you want from me?
24:25I, um...
24:28They told me she's gonna be okay.
24:33I asked if I could call her, but they said no.
24:37You thought they might allow it?
24:38I didn't know, that's why I asked.
24:40Why'd you want to speak to her?
24:41Because I love her.
24:46I wanted to hear her voice if she was...
24:50If she wasn't in too much pain.
24:54What pain did you cause?
25:00Yeah, I know, I know.
25:06Have you, um...
25:10Will you visit her?
25:12I have.
25:16I know she's in pretty bad shape.
25:21I don't know...
25:28I don't know...
25:31I don't know...
25:31How to stop.
25:39If she gives evidence against me, they'll give me two years maybe and...
25:43I'll be released on condition that I stay away from her, but she'll find me because...
25:47That's her way, and then I'll just do it again.
25:49You assumed a lot of things from that statement.
25:51Of course you won't, and I'll find someone else.
25:57I can smell it on them.
26:01The woman...
26:04The women who...
26:06Won't say no, the women that'll take it and know who they are.
26:09Sounds like...
26:10Or what, you think there weren't others before her?
26:12Others during her?
26:16Yeah, it doesn't take a lot for me to get women.
26:19These hands have broken three jaws.
26:21I've stamped on hands.
26:23I've shattered legs, pelvises, eye sockets.
26:25One girl I almost ripped her ear clean off.
26:27What can you say to that?
26:28You sound almost proud.
26:31My mum...
26:33She wore with a hunch.
26:37Walking round the house with a bunch of washing in a cheap plastic basket,
26:41and this saggy face, and this...
26:44Hunch.
26:47Like she was always waiting for the gut punch.
26:49Why did you want me to hear that?
26:52What's the question?
26:56I'm thinking I need to kill myself.
27:00And then I know that that is a sin, but I'm thinking it's all that I've got.
27:06It is the only way to stop me.
27:14And I'm asking for your guidance or not.
27:44Okay.
27:48I think that you need help.
27:51Tried it, it didn't work.
27:53I think you need to try again.
27:57The other man had told me of a counselling service here.
27:59No, no.
28:00I just want to hurt them too.
28:01They think they're so fucking clever.
28:03They never are.
28:03I am actually clever.
28:04I can see how fucking thick they are.
28:06And I won't have it.
28:09Do you think I'm clever?
28:10You?
28:10You're not as clever as you think.
28:14You are weak.
28:21I can smoke the booze on you now.
28:26Fine.
28:28But I've smoked the booze on you before.
28:32And I know you go to those meetings.
28:35I've got friends in those meetings and they know you're weak too.
28:38Why does it matter what I think?
28:39Because I have said this.
28:44You are my priest.
28:46I've never much felt like you're a priest.
28:50You can talk to any priest.
28:52Maybe someone was some distance, Father Benedict.
28:55I don't know them.
28:56They could be kiddie fiddlers.
28:57Or worse still, the pious fuckers who think that everything is easy.
29:00You're weak.
29:06But you're a good man.
29:08I've seen you.
29:09And I know you're good.
29:11And you have been good to my daughter.
29:14I trust your judgement.
29:17I don't want this last act to be a sin.
29:21I want it to be an act of penance.
29:23And God is not talking to me right now, so I need to know from you.
29:26I need to know that...
29:27I need to be sure that this is, um...
29:32That penance is right.
29:45Good.
29:49Good, yeah, you're thinking.
29:54Well, there it is.
29:55I know I've said all I want to say.
29:59I'll trust your word.
30:09Yes or no.
30:09The first foster home I went to was fine, but they were only doing emergency care.
30:15The second was okay, but we didn't get on.
30:19The third foster family I went to, I was...
30:23Five.
30:24I lived there for two years until I was seven.
30:28The other kid there was fourteen.
30:32I won't give him his name because...
30:35He doesn't deserve it.
30:37To be honest, I don't need to hear the personal stuff.
30:39He thought I made too much noise.
30:41He liked to pinch me.
30:44Just little hard pinches that no one saw.
30:47I was a pretty scared child and I let him.
30:52And then it escalated a little.
30:55He'd punch me.
30:57Little rabbit punches, he'd call them.
31:00He'd push me off things and he'd...
31:05Do everything he could, little things to...
31:10He enjoyed my pain.
31:11I am not finding this interesting, I just want an answer.
31:13I didn't want to talk to my support worker about it because I thought it was this or an institution.
31:18And I had my own room with this family and I really enjoyed the food.
31:22And I had a couple of friends at school that I liked to play with.
31:27And then...
31:28The people who became my parents started to visit.
31:33And they were really special.
31:35Everyone could see.
31:37They...
31:38Smelt good.
31:40They were Catholic, everyone knew that religious adopters were the best kind.
31:43The third time they visited.
31:47He...
31:48Followed me into the toilet.
31:51And he slammed my head into the bowl and he held it.
31:55He tried to hold it into the water.
31:56He tried to drown me in the toilet water.
31:58But there wasn't enough water in the bottom of the bowl.
32:01And so he pushed his hands around my head and I was bleeding.
32:06He strangled me.
32:09He...
32:13He strangled me.
32:16So hard.
32:18I lost consciousness.
32:22I...
32:24I don't know how...
32:27I know who saved me.
32:32I was taken away from that foster family, immediately taken, actually taken into...
32:37But a Catholic who adopted me.
32:43My point...
32:45Is...
32:45Actually I have two points.
32:47My first is I understand pain.
32:51I understand people who want to inflict pain.
32:56My second point...
32:58Is...
32:59That boy, me...
33:03I had no one...
33:06To talk to.
33:07No one.
33:10And...
33:10I thought since then...
33:12I resolved I would never let anyone be alone like that.
33:16Like I was again.
33:19And...
33:21But...
33:21But I think you do need to be alone, Phil.
33:27Penance is about change.
33:30It's not about ends.
33:33If you commit the same sin, you can't just clean it off.
33:37And you can't think one act cleans the slate.
33:39It doesn't...
33:39God doesn't work like that.
33:42God loves.
33:43But God also expects.
33:44And what does He expect?
33:45He expects love.
33:49He expects...
33:50Love.
33:52For yourself.
33:53And for others.
33:55And He expects you to be the best love.
33:59John 4, verse 8.
34:01Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
34:04Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.
34:17So no.
34:17No.
34:18I will not sit in judgment on your head.
34:20It's a sin how you've lived.
34:21And if you kill yourself, it will be a sin how you die.
34:26But I will say this.
34:29Yeah, you're right.
34:30I am weak.
34:33But you are weaker.
34:35If you think you truly have no way of helping yourself.
34:41And I will be...
34:42I will do everything I can to help Bianca see this through.
34:47So you stay in here.
34:50For a very long time.
34:54No.
35:11Come on you.
35:14Why?
35:15So you do not ...
35:20That's the age.
35:22Or am I?
35:23You all are younger.
35:23How much more than okay.
35:39Hi. Hello. This is a surprise. I thought about calling. I didn't want to catch you unawares.
35:49You caught me unawares on your last visit, so there's there.
35:54And you're cooking. The James family invited us over. I thought I'd make my apple cake.
36:00Chris? Chris?
36:07Don't let me stop you.
36:10Do you want to help?
36:13Yeah. Of course.
36:25Hello.
36:26She's helping me now. You can go back to your room.
36:30Nice to see you.
36:32And you, Dad.
36:32Are you well?
36:33We're cooking.
36:47That was an odd thing to do, wasn't it? I forgot I had some out.
36:51Sure.
36:53You decor and slice. I'll keep working on the rest of it.
36:56Okay.
37:01I've been making a yoghurt and apple cake, actually.
37:06And we had a farmer who had swapped me.
37:12Doesn't matter.
37:15I hate it when you do that.
37:18When you're superior like that.
37:20It doesn't matter.
37:23And you are the arbiter of...
37:28I, um...
37:29I'm just...
37:30I'm just here to see you, Mum.
37:32I just want to...
37:34help me make a cake.
37:42I like thin slices.
37:45Feels like they melt into the cake when they're thin.
38:11I need a lift, Dad.
38:15Okay.
38:16Where to?
38:43Hello, Father.
38:46Hello, um...
38:47I just wondered if Anna...
38:49If I could talk to Anna.
38:52Um...
38:52No, I'm afraid you can't.
38:54Look, I know I've made mistakes.
38:56I just want to explain...
38:58or...
38:59try to...
39:00set things right, just talk to her.
39:02She's gone back.
39:04Back where?
39:14She, um...
39:15She left me a letter.
39:18Probably thought I'd try to convince her different.
39:27Don't you?
39:28John, come in.
39:28She's made a mistake.
39:32I think you've thought that a few times.
39:34She has.
39:38She took her skin off for you.
39:44Maybe she just wanted to...
39:46put it on again.
39:49feel safe again.
39:56Yeah.
40:07Anna?
40:11Oh, it is you.
40:13And looking so healthy.
40:15Look at that lovely hair.
40:18Hello, Polly.
40:20Hello, Agnes.
40:23I didn't think I'd see you again.
40:26You have light all through you.
40:45Hello.
40:49Are you in the middle of something or something?
40:53Stay, please.
40:58Please don't make this humiliating.
41:00I wasn't intending to.
41:03But may I ask why?
41:07This is my home.
41:09No.
41:10It is a home of God.
41:17Did he reject you?
41:19No.
41:21Are you going to change your mind again?
41:24No.
41:25Sorry to ask.
41:26I hope you know why I have.
41:29Is there still a place for me?
41:34Of course there is.
41:37I can do good work here.
41:40You always did.
41:43I have my habit.
41:47If you want to, you may push it back on.
41:56You are loved here.
41:58And we are pleased you'll find your way back.
42:04I love you too.
42:09And I will try not to expect you to be the same person now as you were when you left
42:14us.
42:17Though you do seem to be just as irritating.
42:21In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.
42:25The Lord be with you.
42:27And with your spirit.
42:32Lord, we have sinned against you.
42:35Lord, have mercy.
42:37Lord, have mercy.
42:40Lord, hear our prayer to fill us as you filled your Son with love.
42:45To fight the world.
42:46Lord, help us to...
42:54Help, help, help us to...
42:58Amen.
43:00Amen.
43:02Show us.
43:05Show us your mercy and your love.
43:09And grant us your salvation.
43:15May Almighty God have mercy on us.
43:18Forgive our sins.
43:20And bring us to everlasting life.
43:24Amen.
43:27Amen.
43:29Amen.
43:31Amen.
43:32Amen.
43:33Amen.
43:34Amen.
43:34Amen.
43:35Amen.
43:38Amen.
43:39Amen.
43:47Amen.
43:49Amen.
43:53Amen.
43:54Amen.
43:55Amen.
43:56Amen.
43:56Amen.
43:56Amen.
43:56Amen.
43:56Amen.
43:56Amen.
43:57Amen.
43:57Amen.
44:00Amen.
44:02Amen.
44:11I don't know.
44:41I don't know.
45:06I don't know.
Comments