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00:26Oh, it's got me.
00:47Oh, hello, they didn't say that you were, er, oh, yeah, sorry, none of my forms.
00:56I've got to say, I haven't been to confession in close to ten years now.
01:01Sadly, you're eternally damned.
01:03Unless you can fix my car, that is.
01:31Anna?
01:33Anna?
01:35Sister Anna, we've a visitor needs feeding.
01:40Anna?
02:09I'd like to bring a few girls from my choir.
02:11Yeah, for a visit.
02:12How old, darling?
02:13Fourteen to seventeen, mostly still in education.
02:17Devoted?
02:18Some are finding their path.
02:20Any dependents?
02:22I'm sorry?
02:23Sister, good.
02:25Father Hicks has travelled a long way.
02:28Er, only an hour and a half.
02:30I was late because my car decided to explode when I was halfway here.
02:34Oh, how dramatic.
02:36Yeah, I had a burst, something.
02:38Which means a longer bus ride home.
02:40You need to eat?
02:42No, it's not a problem.
02:42I can just get a snack from the shop on the way.
02:45Sister Anna can do better than a scotch egg from a newsagent.
02:49She sets the bar so high.
02:50Since she took over the kitchen, all of us have put on weight.
02:53Something simple?
02:55Er, yeah, yeah.
02:56But don't put yourself out.
02:58Scrambled eggs?
02:59Some bread?
03:00If you shall.
03:02That's two thank yous, which is one too many.
03:04Good.
03:05Yes, no dependents.
03:07If the girls have children...
03:08Even for a visit.
03:10The visit is to see whether they might fit.
03:13No?
03:15We are not here to be watched.
03:16We are here to be joined.
03:18No one with children.
03:20Or romantic entanglements.
03:21You want me to give them a quiz?
03:24Is that too hard a question to answer?
03:28Erm...
03:28Then let us agree a date.
03:30I'll fetch our diary.
03:34You're new?
03:35For the kitchen?
03:36Er, no.
03:37It's been 11 years.
03:40Oh.
03:40I think.
03:41Time passes slowly here.
03:45Been outside?
03:46Er, yes.
03:47Yes.
03:47Bulbing.
03:48For the new season.
03:49What are you growing?
03:50Children.
03:52Tiny, tiny little children in the middle of the flowers,
03:55which we pluck in May, we dry them through the summer,
03:58and then we eat them in September.
04:04Er...
04:05Kale.
04:05Lettuce.
04:07Spinach.
04:07Garlic.
04:08My cabbages are legendary.
04:10I don't like cabbage.
04:11Well, then I judge you for that.
04:17Eleven years.
04:19That's a good long while.
04:20It's been...
04:21over twenty...
04:23since I took my vows.
04:25And you?
04:26Where are you?
04:27Er...
04:28Bristol.
04:28Easton.
04:30What do you grow in Easton?
04:32Huh.
04:34Er...
04:35Currently, it's spending a lot of energy trying to get the needle exchange opened,
04:39and...
04:40Oh, er, a basketball hoop in the local park.
04:42They sound like good things to be doing.
04:45Frustrating.
04:47And...
04:48I'm trying to convince people to run a harvest festival out of the church.
04:58I can't know whether the girls are in relationships.
05:03It would be inappropriate to ask.
05:07And...
05:07I...
05:08can't be involved in any duplicity against the abbess.
05:12You'll find a way.
05:13I fail to see how...
05:14You should have talked to her about this.
05:16I'm sorry if I'm being...
05:17It's the rules she set.
05:18It's my job.
05:19To protect all of them.
05:21It'll mean we can't come.
05:22Well, then don't come.
05:26Ow!
05:28Er, cold water.
05:39You won't call too badly.
05:42Sorry.
05:44Sorry.
05:48No, no, I, er...
05:53I should say thank you.
05:57I'm sorry if I, erm...
06:00If that was the wrong thing to do.
06:03Sorry.
06:04No.
06:08And that's, er...
06:09Well, that...
06:09That's two thank yous, which is one too many.
06:19Er...
06:19No, let me do that.
06:21No.
06:21No, no, no.
06:21You should sit down.
06:22No, no, please.
06:23Look, just tell me where...
06:36This looks beautiful.
06:40Just some eggs.
06:41Ha.
06:42Ah, bless us.
06:43O Lord.
06:46Er...
06:46And these your gift...
06:47For these your gifts which...
06:49We are about to receive from your bounty.
06:51And from the gracious work of...
06:53Your servant...
06:54Sister Anna.
06:56Through Christ our Lord.
06:57Amen.
06:58Amen.
07:04I-I don't like the word servant.
07:08I-I don't like it either.
07:15There's been an accident.
07:36There's none of you, all.
07:49You speak again...
07:50You speak again...
07:51I-I don't like it.
07:56There's the volume to...
07:57O Lord.
07:57Yes.
07:59That is why you.
07:59Do not forget you.
07:59Come proof stream out...
07:59To watch me in the dust and the Cuba name of Teara.
07:59I don't like the devil...
08:00I know something!
08:00My-I don't like it!
08:03Man is the emptiness!
08:03My-I don't like it!
08:06Just this steps!
08:16Good morning, sister.
08:18May the Lord bless this day.
08:21Yes.
08:22And if he could arrange for it not to rain
08:24so the polytunnel doesn't get swamped again,
08:26I'd really appreciate it.
08:50HE SIGHS
08:51Molly, tell Mum Uncle David's in the bathroom.
08:53What, am I not allowed?
08:54Mum put in a rota.
08:55I didn't see a rota.
08:57Jesus.
08:58Bad reasons.
09:00I lost your jeans.
09:02It's not hard to just switch it off.
09:04I can't even hear what she's saying.
09:05I'm glad you made me text, Jose, you can.
09:08But, of course.
09:09No, I asked you.
09:11And I'm not, it's not hard to just switch it off.
09:14I know, but I don't want to have a rota.
09:17Sorry.
09:23Hi.
09:29Oh, these are lovely.
09:31You are lovely, Graeme.
09:32These are vegetables.
09:35Morning.
09:36Morning.
09:37They've put up the price of dahlias again.
09:40The bastards think we're a soft touch.
09:43You're the most dry.
09:44Oh, you know I don't like hosts.
09:47Father Christy agreed with me.
09:50There's considerably more oral thrush around than there used to be.
09:56You think it's OK for the Avis for the trip to ask that I only bring girls who aren't in
10:04relationships?
10:06Yes.
10:07Do.
10:09Not small-minded to me.
10:12I am small-minded both by profession and inclination.
10:18How's your mother?
10:20Smiling on.
10:21Oh.
10:22Tina's back.
10:49Tina's back.
10:51Is she?
10:51Your love.
10:52And grant us your salvation.
10:57May almighty God have mercy on us, forgive us our sins, and bring us into everlasting life.
11:04Amen.
11:06Amen.
11:06Amen.
11:07Shall we start with a hymn?
11:20Bless me, Father, because I have sinned.
11:22It's been 24 hours since my last confession.
11:26I remember.
11:28During which I have committed three acts of blasphemy and two of self-abasement.
11:37I-I mean masturbation, Father.
11:42Of course you did.
11:44I don't mean to hurt people, but I do.
11:51I think you've been very hard on yourself.
11:55I am vile.
11:58You're not.
12:01You're not.
12:21Are you going to invite me in or are you going to leave a lady on the doorstep?
12:23Oh, you're a daft one.
12:27Do you wish to say anything?
12:31No.
12:33Do you need absolution?
12:37Yes.
12:44How was it?
12:46Well, half the kids look as if they've got malnutrition and half the adults jaundice.
12:51The rest just seem depressed.
12:53We'll pray for them.
12:55And help as best we can.
12:58Has the school group arrived?
12:59Yeah.
13:00Important, I'm told, by the prioress.
13:02For them to see us.
13:03For the recruitment push.
13:05It does make one feel one is in a zoo, rather.
13:09Time for a whiskey.
13:11I got sent a rather fine mauled by the bishop.
13:13Am I chasing away some of the feelings of the day?
13:15He shouldn't encourage you.
13:17It's because he wants you to make him some whiskey mermaid.
13:21Well, I can try.
13:22I told him you're not a takeaway.
13:23He'll take what he's given.
13:25Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.
13:27It's been three weeks since my last confession.
13:31How have you been?
13:34I'm okay.
13:39You know I'm supposed to pretend I never know who's on the other side of this.
13:45I took a trip to the convent, the Womack.
13:49I'm going to take some members of the girls' choir and...
13:52I'd like to ask your mum if you'd like to join it.
13:56The trip.
13:57Thanks.
13:58Is that what you want?
14:01With...
14:01Yeah.
14:03Yeah.
14:05Hmm.
14:07Then...
14:09Maybe I'll come around the house.
14:11Talk to her.
14:16He's out most evenings.
14:19At the restaurant.
14:22The next meeting...
14:23Hello, Hello.
14:26Hello, Hello, Hello.
14:28Hello, Hello, Hello.
14:32Hi, Biancas.
14:34Von Hex.
14:35I'd hoped to talk to you about Tina.
14:37She said tonight might be a good night to come over.
14:42Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Five Travels.
14:58Tina!
15:00Tina!
15:02I'll go on what you got.
15:04Do you need help?
15:05There are things I can do to...
15:07You can leave if you're going to be trying that.
15:09Tina!
15:13Um...
15:14How do you feel about Tina making the decision to lead a consecrated life?
15:19I think she's a kid who doesn't know which way's up.
15:27Did you grow up a Catholic, Bianca?
15:31Why is he asking all the questions to me?
15:33You're the adult.
15:34Who wants to check you're okay?
15:37Is there a way who wants to hide in a convent for her life?
15:40Uh...
15:41I don't think it's hiding.
15:43But I do understand why commitment, faith, feels a strange thing in this world.
15:50The amount of people that ask me things like,
15:52how do you have to wear it all the time?
15:53Do you never have sex?
15:56Are you trying to shock us now?
15:57The priest talking about sex.
15:59Ha!
16:00And I do think celibacy is an important part of Tina's commitments,
16:03but it's not the most important part.
16:06Marx is always quoted as saying,
16:08religion is the opium of the masses.
16:10What he actually said was,
16:12religion is the sigh of the oppressed creature,
16:15the heart of a heartless world,
16:17and the soul of soulless conditions.
16:20It is the opium of the people.
16:23I don't go to church.
16:24Can't stand the dither of it all.
16:26Dither?
16:28Well, it seems to me the Bible says,
16:30do good, then we'll do it.
16:31Stop dithering about with incense and myrrh.
16:34Mum.
16:35I think you're right about the dither.
16:38But,
16:39I think what Marx was saying is that the church,
16:41by venerating virtue, does something quite important.
16:44And,
16:45I think right now,
16:47society needs that virtue.
16:50Look, she says she wanted it.
16:51She goes...
16:54Good.
16:55Then, I'd like to take you, Tina,
16:58with a few other girls to visit.
17:00Why am I?
17:01I think that by visiting there,
17:03she'll get much better sense,
17:04if that's what she needs.
17:12Um,
17:14should I talk to Phil?
17:15No.
17:17Well,
17:18that's everything, Father Hicks.
17:21No.
17:26No.
17:27No.
17:29No.
17:30No.
17:30No.
17:31No.
17:36Sister, it's your postulant.
17:38She was found with a phone.
17:40A phone?
17:41She's been keeping it hidden.
18:01It's not easy,
18:03when we lose track of ourselves,
18:05to find our way back.
18:09Can I ask,
18:11why did you feel you needed your phone?
18:14Well,
18:14I...
18:15I don't know.
18:17I don't...
18:18My parents were horrified.
18:21And I said I wanted to be a nun.
18:24My mum
18:26said I was throwing myself away.
18:29She thought it was over some bore hill.
18:31Was...
18:32Was there a boy?
18:35No.
18:38You?
18:40Not a boy.
18:45It's my friend, Susie.
18:52Is...
18:54Is that okay?
18:55With me?
18:57Yes.
18:59With God?
19:01I would hope so.
19:05With you.
19:12Do you want to stay?
19:16Do you...
19:18want me to stay?
19:22Oh, Empe.
19:25If there is one choice
19:27that has to be yours,
19:29else...
19:30it is this.
19:33Do you...
19:33do you ever doubt...
19:36your...
19:37your choice?
19:39Faith...
19:41is dependent on doubt.
19:44Without doubt...
19:46there is no faith.
19:47there...
19:47I was just...
19:47no faith...
19:47and I was not...
19:52there...
19:54and the home...
20:02and the home...
20:06there...
20:07where...
20:07there...
20:16there...
20:45The End
20:54She seems much better this morning
20:57Good
21:00So I've prayed upon it
21:02and decided I have no choice
21:04but to ask her to leave
21:06No, you can't
21:07When someone is a postulant
21:10But she's been with us for over a year
21:14When someone is a postulant
21:16they are here to be judged by us
21:17and by themselves
21:18as to whether they can find
21:20the patience and love to belong
21:21It's one mistake
21:22A crucial one
21:24I devote myself to God in every way
21:27I isolate myself and give myself to prayer
21:30but I do want to keep checking social media
21:32for what my friends are up to
21:33May I speak?
21:36I have been guiding her
21:38and I don't think you understand
21:39She is a genuine, kind...
21:42Good
21:42My role in this convent
21:44is to make the decisions
21:45others won't
21:46It's to lead
21:47Your role is not to abandon the poor girl
21:50Francesca, please!
21:51No, no!
21:51You do not use that name
21:53my name in anger
21:55It is not a weapon
21:58I...
22:00I apologise, Abbess
22:08Our commitment cannot be predicated on a lie
22:11She vowed to put away everything from her other life
22:14She couldn't
22:15She lied
22:16To her sisters and to God
22:19She made a vow
22:20and she broke it
22:21She was weak, yes
22:24But these young people
22:25they are growing up in...
22:27in an unforgiving world
22:29Perhaps our commitment
22:30might take them a little bit longer to learn
22:34Please
22:36Please, give her a chance to find her path
22:52She remains a postulant for at least another year
22:55She has to prove herself all over again, yes?
22:58Yes
23:00Thank you
23:01She's lucky to have you
23:05Okay
23:08There will be a time
23:09when I am ready to take quieter duties here
23:15I believe you are the right person to succeed me
23:18But if you do
23:20you may discover that these decisions are harder than they might appear
23:34Mr. Wonderful Deanery meeting last night
23:37Falling congregations since Covid
23:40How to get people back believing
23:42If anyone suggests another Covid
23:46make him beg before the incoming flood
23:48Don't forget the accounts need your sign-off
23:52The Bishop needs to know precisely what we've got
23:54to set terms for the underfloor heating brigade
23:57Francis, could you run this morning for me?
23:59Sorry?
24:01I just realised I've got some pressing Christmas
24:03Could you lead master's morning for me?
24:05Mm-hmm
24:26Bless me, Father, for I have sinned
24:27It's been four days since my last confession
24:33I've been angry with others, impatient
24:37I shouted at the abbess
24:41I was cruel to Sister Justine when she needed support
24:49And I have been having immoral thoughts
24:56Lost
25:04You have to say something to that, Father Clary
25:06You can't leave me on my own without one
25:10Go on
25:12Go on
25:14Go on
25:17What does that mean?
25:20It means go on
25:27But
25:28It's not like I haven't had thoughts before
25:34Oh, I have struggled at times with feelings of desire
25:41But this time, well, these times
25:47These feelings, they're so specific
25:57And, well, that's all I can say, really
25:59I am ashamed
26:01And, well, I'm confused
26:04Confused
26:05Mainly
26:10Three Hail Marys
26:17Yes, Father
26:20And be careful
26:29God, the Father of mercies
26:31Through the death and resurrection of his Son
26:33Has reconciled the world to himself
26:35And sent the Holy Spirit
26:36For the forgiveness of our sins
26:39Through the ministry of the Church
26:41May God give you pardon and peace
26:43And I absolve you from your sins
26:45In the name of the Father
26:47And of the Son
26:48And of the Holy Spirit
26:50Amen
26:50Amen
26:51Amen
26:52Amen
26:52Amen
26:53Amen
26:53Amen
26:54Amen
26:55Amen
26:55Amen
27:00Amen
27:01Amen
27:07Amen
27:08Amen
27:08Amen
27:46Hello.
27:47Ah.
27:48This is a surprise.
27:52I just thought I'd um I'd come back to talk to the abbess felt like I'd left a
27:57few of her concerns on the table right I was hoping for more beautiful eggs of
28:04course I knew you were the pushy sort may I see your cabbages only if you get me
28:12really drunk
28:20are you that nervous of the abbess that you'd look around a boring garden to
28:23avoid it boring garden doubt is that no but why are you here
28:36can I tell you about a girl I'd like to bring you you can tell me about anything
28:40you like but I am no use with the abbess um her mother that the girl's mother is
28:49being hit by the father I think it's possible the girl's been hit too I raise
28:55it with social services I raise it with the diocese safeguarding unit but they
29:00both do something but nothing ever happens
29:05sorry you're you're not interested in what is it you're doubting I'm sorry your ability to deal
29:12with it her response to it or what else it is that you should be doing to help it
29:18uh you're remarkably frank
29:26why are you looking at me like that
29:29I just wish I had your conviction
29:33you have certainty I mean I mean it's a good thing
29:36I haven't been certain about anything since 2001
29:40what happened then I became a nun
29:50well here are my cabbages
29:54they're beautiful
29:56you like that word although these might actually be beautiful
30:00how do you keep the slugs away
30:01they come underneath
30:04they don't like eggshells
30:06cuts them up
30:07uh-huh
30:11helping the girl and your needle exchange is no hopes
30:15it's impressive
30:16I don't feel impressive
30:19and here was I thinking you were trying to impress me
30:26I am
30:28I struggle
30:29I fail
30:31I intervene when I shouldn't
30:33I
30:33you're a click of the fingers Christian
30:36I'm sorry
30:37you want everything sold in a click of the fingers
30:41and if it isn't
30:42then it costs you
30:43you have a brutal way of describing things
30:46but I'm sure you're right
30:47no
30:48no I admire click of the fingers Christians
30:52they see a problem and they try to solve it
30:57I'm about as far from a click of the fingers Christian as you can get
31:01but you followed your conviction
31:04to live a consecrated life
31:08yes
31:09well
31:11this has become my home
31:13for better or worse
31:16make it sound like you're not happy here
31:22it's a good thing
31:23what you're doing
31:26and
31:26I'm sorry
31:27conviction is
31:28is another word I don't like
31:30I'll fetch the abbess
31:34you know you asked us to make an appointment before coming here
31:37we are enclosed
31:40I can find the abbess please
31:42get on with your duties
31:43I
31:47should have disturbed you
31:48I'm sorry
31:49but
32:12could you maybe
32:14what you're doing
32:17or
32:18I'm sorry
32:18I'm sorry
32:45CHOIR SINGS
33:17CHOIR SINGS
33:32CHOIR SINGS
33:33CHOIR SINGS
33:43CHOIR SINGS
33:45CHOIR SINGS
33:55CHOIR SINGS
33:55CHOIR SINGS
34:01CHOIR SINGS
34:01CHOIR SINGS
34:02CHOIR SINGS
34:03CHOIR SINGS
34:07CHOIR SINGS
34:09CHOIR SINGS
34:20CHOIR SINGS
34:21CHOIR SINGS
34:21CHOIR SINGS
34:22CHOIR SINGS
34:25CHOIR SINGS
34:33CHOIR SINGS
34:38CHOIR SINGS
34:40CHOIR SINGS
34:40CHOIR SINGS
34:41CHOIR SINGS
34:42CHOIR SINGS
34:43CHOIR SINGS
34:46CHOIR SINGS
34:46CHOIR SINGS
34:50CHOIR SINGS
35:03CHOIR SINGS
35:08I don't think I ever want to laugh at you, I know.
35:18I, um, must get to church.
35:24Bye.
35:29Bye.
35:38Bye.
36:08Morning.
36:08Do you mind if you stay away from my daughter?
36:11My daughter's sought spiritual guidance, I can't know.
36:13Yeah, well, just stay the fuck away, yeah, big man.
36:18A bit early in the morning for a drink, isn't it, Phil?
36:24Stealing kids off the poor, is that what you do?
36:27Just take them, stick them in a fucking castle and throw away the key.
36:35Look, why don't we go inside and talk about this properly?
36:38I do recognize your teen is spiritual glad, too, so...
36:49Do not tell me, or my daughter, or my fucking wife, what's right.
36:54What's wrong with you?
36:58Melon, you fuck!
37:14Oh, I'm sorry, sister. I was just going to wake you, and then I caught sight of this fawn.
37:22Well, I'm sure you want them chased away before they eat your vegetables.
37:28No, no, my garden's well protected.
37:30We had a deer that used to come right up to the windows.
37:34Must be 40, no, 60 years ago.
37:38Would you feed it?
37:40Well, that one's tried to stroke its nose.
37:43It didn't like that.
37:46I was scared it wouldn't come back.
37:49But it did.
37:52And then it didn't.
37:56I always worried.
37:59Perhaps someone took advantage of its innocence and killed it.
38:04I did miss it.
38:08Have you really been here for 60 years, Polly?
38:1274.
38:13I came when I was 16.
38:17A wonderful life.
38:22I'm pleased you've stood in defence of Bimpe.
38:25I think she has what it takes.
38:28I really do.
38:28I do.
38:30Hmm.
38:31Hmm.
38:38Hmm.
41:50Good day.
41:54I'd like to speak to Father Hicks, please.
41:58I believe he's at home.
42:00Can I help?
42:03No.
42:12Then I will call him on the phone.
42:48Hello? Where is she? No, no, no, I'll come straight now.
43:05Sister? I'm sorry, uh, Anna. You asked for me. What's happened to your face? Oh, I, um, I got into
43:17a fight with a slippery cobblestone. What are you...
43:25Can we go somewhere a little less quiet?
43:42I always promised myself that, uh, I would see the problems in front of me clearly. I always promised myself.
43:50Do you, uh, do you not want to sit down? Uh, no, no, um, uh, I, I always promised myself
43:57that I would be honest, that I could be honest about how I feel.
44:03Good.
44:05And I see you, and I'm, I'm cruel to you.
44:09You aren't cruel.
44:11And I, I think it's important to understand why, when, when you came to visit, why I, I was casual
44:20with you.
44:23Um, and I think it's important to say and, well, to act on when, when you touched my hand.
44:40Uh, and I, I, I believe I should listen to my inner truth.
44:47And I, I believe, I believe that I have never felt the way that you make me feel.
45:12Does, does the convent know you're here?
45:17Uh, what, I mean, it probably worked it out by now.
45:28And, and you intend to?
45:32Yes.
45:32Yes.
45:36Why?
45:39Simply because I touched your hand.
45:44Because you, you felt feelings for me.
45:49Well, there was nothing simple about it.
45:54I, uh, I thought you felt the same, same sort of feelings.
46:14I'm so sorry.
46:20But you, but you came back.
46:24You, you came back to the Womack, and you...
46:27I'm so sorry if I presented, if, um, I made you feel, think.
46:38I can...
46:40Um, the, uh, the, there's someone here can, can drive here.
46:44Uh, you, uh, Muriel, she's, she's a parishioner.
46:47She volunteers in a cafe here.
46:48She's, she's nice.
46:50And I know she has a car.
46:51And, uh, you're suggesting I go back?
46:56I don't know what to suggest.
47:00You're, you're saying that I read something that isn't there.
47:12Uh, um, no.
47:19No, I, I won't be going back.
47:25Where would you stay?
47:26I didn't come here to talk to you about my accommodation.
47:30Have you, have you any money?
47:32No.
47:33Uh, but I...
47:40Um...
47:43I'm, I'm really sorry.
47:44Yeah.
47:45So you said.
47:59I'm ready to go.
48:01Don't run away.
48:04Don't run away.
48:14Don't run away.
48:17Don't run away.
48:18No, no, no.
48:21No.
48:22OK.
48:38Yes, yes, I will need somewhere to stay.
49:20Yes, yes, I will need somewhere to stay.
49:24Yes, I will need somewhere to stay.
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