Falling 2026 S01E03

Fleebag

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Transcript

00:23I was wondering if perhaps you wanted to get some clothes?

00:29Yes, I probably should.

00:31Good.

00:35This is £200.

00:38No, I can't take your money as well as your hospitality.

00:41Well, the hospitality's a gift. This is a loan.

00:45No, you've done so much already. I don't want to be any trouble.

00:48Well, have you got a bank account?

00:50No.

00:51Have you got any cash money?

00:54No.

00:55Well, I don't know what your Bible says.

00:58But mine is quite explicit about helping people in need.

01:04My sons have moved out.

01:07My husband left me.

01:09I like having you here.

01:11And if you find anything nice for the Harvest Festival...

01:14I'll drop something at the church.

01:15No, I didn't mean for you to go.

01:17Oh, I have no intention of being afraid of him.

01:21You're going to be okay, are you?

01:25Let's start with a question.

01:28What do you think a priest is?

01:30People who talk to God.

01:33Yeah, that's good.

01:35Erm...

01:36But I actually think anyone can talk to God.

01:38That's what prayer is.

01:39A priest is a boss in church.

01:42I like that.

01:44I like that.

01:45Yes, we are.

01:46Do you have a class representative?

01:48Someone who sits on a committee representing the class?

01:51Angus.

01:55Are you Angus?

01:57On Wednesday we have rice dinner.

01:59But Angus decided we should have sausages instead.

02:02So he talked to you about that decision?

02:04No.

02:04Yeah.

02:05I did.

02:07No, you didn't.

02:08Would you consider you elected him your representative leader?

02:12When it comes to lunch menus, at least?

02:15Definitely.

02:16Definitely?

02:17Okay.

02:17Yeah?

02:18Right, well, I would say what I do is spiritual leadership.

02:24I don't decide what we have for lunch, but I do lead people, or try to, in their prayer

02:32and their worship.

02:34And that's why I'm here today to talk to you about a festival we're going to be running

02:38at my church.

02:39Who here has heard of Harvest Festival?

02:43Good.

02:44And who can tell me what it's all about?

02:46Thank you for doing that.

02:47Yes.

02:48Talking business, were you able to give any more consideration to my needle exchange idea?

02:54Yes.

02:55Harvest festivals, needle banks, they did warn me that you were radical when you came our

03:00way.

03:00It's just a small capital investment.

03:02Now this diocese is already running three full-time food banks.

03:07I think there are six part-time ones.

03:09And the deanery is going to take to opening its doors twice a week as they warm back.

03:13And there's countless outreach educational groups.

03:16Okay, but those are all necessary.

03:19The diocese has 53 million pounds in funds, 21 of which is cash in the bank.

03:23Surely we can find this thing.

03:24How long have you been with us?

03:26Is it two years?

03:28Three.

03:28Well, don't you think you're settling properly before you try taking on my job?

03:33Look, I know what happened with this nun and clearly, clearly there is no, no blame attached

03:38to you.

03:39But it's not as if your copy book wasn't already blotted and now you're digging into our accounts.

03:44What have you heard about?

03:44I never knew that she was so flighty, silly.

03:52Um, I think there was, um, there was confusion.

03:58Oh, there's no confusion.

03:59She took a vow.

03:59She didn't even wait to ask for permission to leave.

04:07I did, uh, if you want to find her, I do know where she is.

04:09Well, we know where she is, but the Abbas, she wants, she wants her to stew a little.

04:15Poor Anna, she has absolutely no idea of the real world.

04:21Good luck, David.

04:24Ah, and thanks once again.

04:26Very kind of you.

04:49Good luck.

04:50Good luck!

05:04Good luck!

05:06Come on, come on.

05:12Please, please!

05:15Well, I think it's good for you now.

05:17You work.

05:18You work.

05:44sorry i need to count your i'm sorry i need to count your clothes

05:49you need to count them

06:26you need to count them

06:29you need to count them

06:46you need to count them

06:48let me take this

06:50thanks

06:55it's a recruitment drive you've discovered a way to recruit people

07:02you love it admit it you do

07:05they get to feel charitable about donating a can of beans

07:08they remind themselves they're catholic cv inside of a church

07:11they might even god forbid come to the actual service

07:15how many cans of beans do we have

07:16i have a rough estimate 467 i could fill the front three pews

07:21well we could keep them and do that thing where we push you down here in the bath for the

07:25beans

07:26well i don't think that would do your reputation any good at all especially now

07:31it's all over the diocese the pretty priest who steals sisters

07:39it's not my fault she's flighty

07:41oh flighty is it

08:08i brought home some food

08:11chinese

08:12because i like it

08:15i hope you like it

08:19pretty much like all food

08:21how was your day

08:22uh not the best

08:24we're overrun

08:26well i'm sorry

08:30i've been overrun for years

08:33so what did you get

08:37shopping i mean

08:39uh

08:42i felt a bit much to be honest

08:46oh

08:49we need a drink

08:51but first i'm gonna get you some clothes

08:53see we didn't have mirrors

08:56in the close you didn't

08:59and i

09:00well i seem to have lost the ability to look at myself

09:03and yet everybody else seemed to want to look at me

09:05it's almost as if i've forgotten

09:08what i look like

09:10not that i think i'm still 16

09:12you've got a beautiful face

09:14no no no

09:15it's not uh

09:16it's not a question of pride

09:18do you know to be honest

09:19i gotta admit i don't like changing rooms either

09:21everything had

09:23short sleeves

09:24and i

09:24the tops

09:26and the the dresses

09:27and i just wanted something to

09:29to cover

09:30myself

09:31what is it you want covered

09:34well

09:35my arms and

09:36and my legs

09:37and there were

09:38some

09:39long sleeves

09:41but

09:42it's not

09:43not that i don't like my arms

09:44i mean

09:44i don't really think about my arms

09:46but

09:52i

09:53i

09:55i have never

09:56shaved my armpits

09:59oh

10:01and

10:02everything felt

10:03very

10:04well very exposing

10:05of that

10:06and

10:07i've also never

10:09shaved my legs

10:15i am profoundly hairy

10:42Father David.

10:49Oh, hi. I was called to go to a place.

10:52Yes, of course. Take a seat.

11:18Yeah.

11:38Thanks for coming.

11:40You're Lucy? Yeah.

11:44Um, thank you for bringing me.

11:48I care deeply about your mum.

11:51I've missed her at best.

11:54Went in every day, right?

11:56That's right.

11:58Bet confession was a blast.

12:07Did she talk about me?

12:13I know you can't say.

12:21Wink for yes, Amy.

12:26Gertrude was, er, is very kind around the parish.

12:32She wasn't...

12:36I wasn't Catholic.

12:39She wasn't Catholic when I was a child.

12:43She was when she was a kid, but found being an adult more...

12:50...difficult.

12:52I'm guessing you two didn't always get on.

12:56No.

12:58She...

12:59...like to hurt.

13:06I'm sorry about that.

13:08I'm just...

13:12Pleased.

13:14Someone's forgiven her.

13:20It's time.

13:34Lucy, would you come in with me?

13:39The last rites are something really quite beautiful.

13:48It's a celebration of the sacraments of penance and viaticum.

13:54Viaticum is a Latin word meaning provision and love for the next part of the journey.

14:04We are taken with you on the way.

14:14It's about faith, of course, but I think it's mostly about love.

14:24I...

14:26It...it doesn't have to be about your forgiveness.

14:29I'm not challenging your anger.

14:32All that's asked for is your support for her penance.

14:36And her journey.

14:44I definitely support her penance.

15:03Do you have anything to say to me, Gertrude?

15:07If you're unable to talk, just squeeze my hand.

15:10If you're sorry for anything you've done wrong.

15:23I just...

15:25wanna say...

15:29Thanks, Gertrude. Thank you.

15:32For being a really good friend to me and to the community.

15:38I think we saw the very best of you.

15:40I...

15:42I love you.

15:45Very much.

16:05God, the Father of mercies, through the death and resurrection of his Son, has reconciled the world to himself and

16:12sent the Holy Spirit among us for their forgiveness of sins through the ministry of his church.

16:17May God give you peace and pardon.

16:25May I absolve you from your sins.

16:28In the name of the Father, of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

17:09I saw the lights on when you're on.

17:16Oh, it's okay.

17:19It's okay.

17:21It's okay.

17:23It's okay.

17:36I'm sure that would both be able to feel good in me, Dad.

17:48Yes, I'm sure that would be able to feel good in me, Dad.

17:54I'm sure.

18:07I'm not.

18:10I'm not.

18:18I'm not.

18:19I'm a...

18:21...vroom...

18:23I'm...

18:23...we, we, we love you.

18:25I will die.

18:27I'll be right back to you.

18:30I keep...

18:32...less you, we can.

18:37I'm a boss.

18:38I'm a, I mean, I care.

18:39I'm a shady, darlin' guy.

18:42I love you.

18:49I failed.

18:52She...

18:53Was she...

18:54Was she OK?

18:59No, I haven't been single.

19:02Was she...

19:03Sorry.

19:08Was she...

19:11I don't think she could push you and you were there.

19:14Was she...

19:22Maybe...

19:23She should feel something.

19:37She...

19:43That's all.

19:46That's all.

19:46Hello.

19:47Or...

19:48Maybe she...

19:54We find a better day.

20:04I don't like this.

20:05No, no.

20:07I know.

20:08I know.

20:10I know.

20:12I know.

20:33I know.

20:35I know.

20:37I know.

20:39I'm also, as most of you know, a priest.

20:43It's been a while since I've spoken.

20:47I was, in Reading, quite a big deal.

20:50I was given a lot of responsibilities in the diocese, a lot for my age.

20:53There were those that said I was to be the next bishop, quite a young bishop.

21:02There were a group of kids I was counselling.

21:05Not all Catholics, but I was pushing for a church that reached us out.

21:10I wasn't a trained counsellor, but I'd done courses and I thought the priesthood was social work.

21:20I thought this boy, I wouldn't say his name, was being abused.

21:27And...

21:29I was trying to help him, get him to admit what had happened to him, how he felt about it,

21:37things I felt he needed.

21:40And he did tell me, he told me all sorts.

21:46There was his father raping him.

21:55And the difficult thing was...

22:03The difficult thing was that he told me he thought he liked it.

22:13And then he...

22:18He killed himself.

22:24It was very...

22:29Sad.

22:32No one blames me, but...

22:36People kept telling me to pray and kept wanting to pray themselves.

22:41And I led them, that's my job, I led them in praying.

22:44And...

22:47That's when I lost it.

22:51The ability to pray.

22:54I found I could only talk to God, I could only find God within myself...

23:00When I drank.

23:01I found...

23:02Truth.

23:03Solace.

23:08I don't know.

23:13And I took to...

23:15Starting the day...

23:16With a drink.

23:20You know, I'm not blaming it on losing the kid, it was my own weakness.

23:27I'm not saying that was the reason, but it was the...

23:31Trigger.

23:34Anyway...

23:37I was...

23:38I was no longer talked of as a future bishop.

23:44Yeah.

23:45Someone saw what was happening and I was taken away and treated and...

23:50Helped.

23:53And...

23:55I moved in with my sister.

23:58And...

23:59Found a new life.

24:02Here.

24:05Three other priests to move.

24:09But...

24:10Bristol was good enough to welcome me and...

24:14Felt I was doing good.

24:17Perhaps not good enough, but...

24:20Could work.

24:26But...

24:29Lately...

24:32Things have become disturbed.

24:39And I...

24:40I guess I'm...

24:44Scared I'm gonna...

24:53And right now I need a drink so badly.

24:58And right now I need a drink so badly.

25:28In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit.

25:33Amen.

25:34The Lord be with you.

25:36And with us today.

25:39Lord, we have sinned against you.

25:42Lord, have mercy.

25:44Lord, have mercy.

25:47Show us your mercy and your love.

25:50I promise your salvation.

25:53May Almighty God have mercy on us, forgive our sins, and bring us to everlasting life.

26:01Amen.

26:02Amen.

26:02God bless you.

26:04Amen.

26:19Amen.

26:20Um, welcome to something a bit different.

26:27Now, the Catholic Church is not known for its thieving,

26:31apart from all the things we've stolen.

26:35But this today is an audacious act of larceny

26:39taken back from the Church of England

26:40what is, in fact, a Catholic event.

26:43In fact, I'll go further.

26:45A Catholic embrace.

26:47A celebration not of plenty,

26:50but of eliminating want,

26:52of giving and the understanding of need.

26:56Saint Isidore, often called the farmer

26:59and our saint of harvest, said this.

27:03When God's grace touches our innermost minds

27:06to bring understanding,

27:08his word, which is received by the ear,

27:12can sink deep into our heart.

27:17Today is an act of love.

27:21And let's start by singing hymn number 432,

27:26Come ye thankful people, come.

27:51Well, that was a beautiful service.

28:02I hope you didn't think I got my hair done for him.

28:05You had a haircut.

28:07You didn't get your hair done.

28:11I felt so ashamed sitting there.

28:14Well, you shouldn't have.

28:18I feel...

28:20I feel like I'm ten years old.

28:23Well, you're not.

28:25And I say that as someone who's shaved your armpits.

28:28I feel like I'm seven days old.

29:19I'm sorry.

29:22I'm sorry, I was teasing.

29:25I'm sorry.

29:25My fault.

29:31Okay.

29:34Stop it.

29:38Stop it.

29:40Stop it.

30:09Dad.

30:12Your mother wanted to work.

30:17Who is he?

30:19It doesn't matter.

30:21I'm not discussing him with you.

30:23Why not?

30:24Because I don't want your judgment.

30:2626 years just torn up like that.

30:29That's not how I see it.

30:33I don't have to justify my choices to you.

30:37You just walk out on a job for a man who won't look at you.

30:41How do you see it?

30:43Did you come here just to shout at me, Mum?

30:45You were 16.

30:46I told you it was a mistake.

30:49You were so sure.

30:50Until suddenly you throw it all away.

30:53All that work.

30:53All that work?

30:54You made a commitment.

30:57A commitment which ripped my heart out.

31:02Your dad's heart out now means nothing.

31:04I made a commitment which I do not regret.

31:08Of course you regret it.

31:09But now I realize...

31:10Now you realize you've thrown away the best part of your life.

31:14And he doesn't want you back.

31:16Right?

31:18You made this choice and he doesn't want you back.

31:24That's the thing you could never understand.

31:27There's a point where you are, as a woman where we all are so beautiful.

31:32But now...

31:33I don't...

31:37Go home.

31:51Don't remember the wrong things from this.

31:53You've made your point.

31:56Go home.

32:19Hello, Father.

32:20Uh, hello, Miriam.

32:22I was, um...

32:24I was wondering if, uh, I could talk to...

32:31I wondered if you fancied a walk.

32:43I enjoyed your harvest service.

32:46I was pleased to see you there.

32:50Surprised, if I'm honest.

32:52There's something basic, isn't there, about the harvest as a time for sharing.

32:58It was originally Catholic.

33:00Till Henry VIII, there was a Catholic service and the Irish...

33:04Yes, I think you mentioned that a few times.

33:09How long did it take you to write it, for, uh, the salmon?

33:14Depends on why you're asking.

33:16I liked it.

33:18All the stuff about the true nature of giving.

33:20I...

33:21I thought you gave a really...

33:22A true analysis of generosity as an exchange.

33:26Yeah, thank you.

33:29Um, I...

33:30I write them very quickly, often in the bath.

33:34And then I revise them quite a bit.

33:38So you...

33:38You write in the bath?

33:40Well, I actually dictate them into my phone.

33:43I can hear the water moving when I listen back.

33:46Oh.

33:47That's an odd image.

33:49I suppose there isn't a great deal to do, but, I think...

33:53When you wept.

33:56No.

34:01My parents came to see me.

34:03Furious.

34:04About leaving your...

34:05Yeah.

34:06I thought you said they weren't especially Catholic.

34:08Well, my mum didn't want me to become a nun, but, uh, here I am.

34:12Doing it anyway.

34:13Oh.

34:13Leaving.

34:15Having ruined the best part of my life serving something fruitless.

34:19You haven't ruined the best parts of your life.

34:22If only you were my mother.

34:25My parents were troubled by my choice.

34:28My sister thought it was great.

34:30Not like the good old days when that third child will be stuffed off to the clergy.

34:33So, I think that's more of an Anglican tradition.

34:37Do they come to your services?

34:39Uh, both dead.

34:41My sister's still around her.

34:43She's a natural daughter.

34:44I was adopted.

34:46I was adopted.

34:48So, your parents were...

34:51Not white.

34:54Yeah.

34:55It's a bit strange how that question's always the first one people ask.

34:59Sorry for the boring question.

35:01It's not boring at all.

35:02Just marginally...

35:02Racist.

35:04Socially turning.

35:10I don't want to have sex with you.

35:14Sorry?

35:19I don't know what this is, but I've kept thinking about it and I just wanted to say that I

35:26don't think I want to have sex with you.

35:31Uh...

35:32Okay.

35:33Or, uh...

35:34Well, maybe I do.

35:34Maybe I'm just saying that to, um...

35:36But sex.

35:37The...

35:38The idea of...

35:39Of sex.

35:40Even...

35:40Even when you were talking about yourself, you know, in...

35:42In the bath.

35:43Actually, that...

35:44Didn't do it...

35:45For me.

35:46Because...

35:47The idea of sex is...

35:49Truly terrifying.

35:50To me.

35:51As I'm sure it is to you.

35:53Uh...

35:53I'm not even sure how I feel about kissing.

35:57I just don't know...

35:59What this is.

36:02The way you make me feel...

36:04The way you've...

36:05Made me feel...

36:07In an instant is...

36:10It remains...

36:12Something I...

36:13I can't...

36:14Explain.

36:15Or...

36:15Or even understand.

36:17Even now.

36:20I...

36:21It's something else.

36:23It's...

36:24Something more.

36:28It's...

36:30It's...

36:31It's...

36:34It's...

36:35It's...

36:35Now...

36:36Now you have to talk.

36:45I just wanted to see you.

36:48Why?

36:51Because I like you.

36:56What a safe word to use.

37:01I suppose I was...

37:03Worried about you.

37:05Of course you are.

37:09Good luck.

37:12Thank you...

37:14For...

37:15The...

37:15Clarity.

37:17About sex.

37:38I don't want to have sex with you.

37:43But I do want to hold your hand.

38:06Okay.

38:11Okay.

38:14My position hasn't changed.

38:19You're... you're worried for me.

38:21You don't want to have sex with me.

38:24And you don't have feelings for me.

38:25Are you going to keep saying the word sex?

38:27I know now. I still just can't stop.

38:32The promises are... everything.

38:36To me.

38:37My service to God...

38:40matters.

38:42To me.

38:45My feelings for you...

38:47are ones of...

38:50care and...

38:53friendship.

38:56Okay.

38:56All I want to do...

39:01I want to help you.

39:05You know, I threw my life up...

39:08for you.

39:09And you can deny responsibility, but I...

39:11Hang on. I'm responsible.

39:13Yes.

39:14Yes, you are. And now you are...

39:15You're sat here like a...

39:17like a wet pudding.

39:18And I feel like I'm the one who has to make you feel okay.

39:24And I...

39:26I should go.

39:27But you came to my service.

39:28Yes, I came to your church.

39:30Why?

39:31To take part in a festival.

39:32Well, it felt like you were...

39:33What?

39:36What?

39:42I hoped it was an act of...

39:45friendship.

39:48Well...

39:48It must be lovely to have hopes like you've got.

39:51I...

39:54I want to be your friend.

39:56And...

39:56Help isn't a bad word.

39:58I want to support you in what you're doing.

40:00I...

40:00I want to...

40:03I can't be that.

40:08But...

40:08I can be...

40:11I'd like to be your friend.

40:12Okay.

40:13Well, I accept your friendship.

40:17You do?

40:17Yes.

40:18Yes, I do.

40:19But...

40:21I am...

40:22I'm tired now.

40:23And I want to go home.

40:27Do you...

40:28Do you even know the way?

40:31Always been good at retracing my steps.

40:36You know, I was sure when I became a nun.

40:38And I am equally sure now.

40:40I...

40:41I just know that God's path for me has changed.

40:45And I...

40:46I...

40:48I believe...

40:49That God's path for you has changed too.

40:54I am not some...

40:56Caged bird who saw a means of escape.

40:58I saw...

41:00What you felt.

41:04And I felt it too.

41:08I didn't imagine it.

41:12I had a McKinney.

41:13I...

41:22I did have to be a fool.

41:23I thought...

41:23Do...

41:25Do...

41:26Do...

41:30Do...

41:35Do...

41:37Do...

41:38Do...

41:39Do...

41:40Do...

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