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00:23I was wondering if perhaps you wanted to get some clothes?
00:29Yes, I probably should.
00:31Good.
00:35This is £200.
00:38No, I can't take your money as well as your hospitality.
00:41Well, the hospitality's a gift. This is a loan.
00:45No, you've done so much already. I don't want to be any trouble.
00:48Well, have you got a bank account?
00:50No.
00:51Have you got any cash money?
00:54No.
00:55Well, I don't know what your Bible says.
00:58But mine is quite explicit about helping people in need.
01:04My sons have moved out.
01:07My husband left me.
01:09I like having you here.
01:11And if you find anything nice for the Harvest Festival...
01:14I'll drop something at the church.
01:15No, I didn't mean for you to go.
01:17Oh, I have no intention of being afraid of him.
01:21You're going to be okay, are you?
01:25Let's start with a question.
01:28What do you think a priest is?
01:30People who talk to God.
01:33Yeah, that's good.
01:35Erm...
01:36But I actually think anyone can talk to God.
01:38That's what prayer is.
01:39A priest is a boss in church.
01:42I like that.
01:44I like that.
01:45Yes, we are.
01:46Do you have a class representative?
01:48Someone who sits on a committee representing the class?
01:51Angus.
01:55Are you Angus?
01:57On Wednesday we have rice dinner.
01:59But Angus decided we should have sausages instead.
02:02So he talked to you about that decision?
02:04No.
02:04Yeah.
02:05I did.
02:07No, you didn't.
02:08Would you consider you elected him your representative leader?
02:12When it comes to lunch menus, at least?
02:15Definitely.
02:16Definitely?
02:17Okay.
02:17Yeah?
02:18Right, well, I would say what I do is spiritual leadership.
02:24I don't decide what we have for lunch, but I do lead people, or try to, in their prayer
02:32and their worship.
02:34And that's why I'm here today to talk to you about a festival we're going to be running
02:38at my church.
02:39Who here has heard of Harvest Festival?
02:43Good.
02:44And who can tell me what it's all about?
02:46Thank you for doing that.
02:47Yes.
02:48Talking business, were you able to give any more consideration to my needle exchange idea?
02:54Yes.
02:55Harvest festivals, needle banks, they did warn me that you were radical when you came our
03:00way.
03:00It's just a small capital investment.
03:02Now this diocese is already running three full-time food banks.
03:07I think there are six part-time ones.
03:09And the deanery is going to take to opening its doors twice a week as they warm back.
03:13And there's countless outreach educational groups.
03:16Okay, but those are all necessary.
03:19The diocese has 53 million pounds in funds, 21 of which is cash in the bank.
03:23Surely we can find this thing.
03:24How long have you been with us?
03:26Is it two years?
03:28Three.
03:28Well, don't you think you're settling properly before you try taking on my job?
03:33Look, I know what happened with this nun and clearly, clearly there is no, no blame attached
03:38to you.
03:39But it's not as if your copy book wasn't already blotted and now you're digging into our accounts.
03:44What have you heard about?
03:44I never knew that she was so flighty, silly.
03:52Um, I think there was, um, there was confusion.
03:58Oh, there's no confusion.
03:59She took a vow.
03:59She didn't even wait to ask for permission to leave.
04:07I did, uh, if you want to find her, I do know where she is.
04:09Well, we know where she is, but the Abbas, she wants, she wants her to stew a little.
04:15Poor Anna, she has absolutely no idea of the real world.
04:21Good luck, David.
04:24Ah, and thanks once again.
04:26Very kind of you.
04:49Enter.
04:49Ah, and we are here tonight.
04:51Ah!
04:51Ah!
04:53Ah!
04:54Ah!
04:55Ah!
04:57Ah!
04:58Ah!
04:58Is it the third one?
05:09Er, ah!
05:12Ah!
05:12Oh!
05:15Ah!
05:16Ah!
05:44Oh, sorry, I need to count your, I'm sorry.
05:47I need to count your clothes, I need to count them.
06:18I need to count them.
06:28I need to count them.
06:49Let me take this.
06:50Thanks.
06:55It's a recruitment drive.
06:58You've discovered a way to recruit people.
07:02You love it, admit it, you do.
07:05They get to feel charitable about donating a can of beans.
07:08They remind themselves they're Catholic, see the inside of a church.
07:12They might even, God forbid, come to the actual service.
07:15How many cans of beans do we have?
07:17At a rough estimate, 467.
07:19I could fill the front three pews.
07:21Well, we could keep them and do that thing where we push you down here in the bath for the
07:25beans.
07:26Well, I don't think that would do your reputation any good at all, especially now.
07:31It's all over the diocese, the pretty priest who steals sisters.
07:39It's not my fault she's flighty.
07:41How flighty is it?
08:06I brought home some food.
08:10Chinese.
08:12Because I like it.
08:15I hope you like it.
08:19Pretty much like all food.
08:21How was your day?
08:23Not the best.
08:25We're overrun.
08:26Well, I'm sorry.
08:30Been overrun for years.
08:33So what did you get?
08:36Shopping, I mean.
08:42It felt a bit much, to be honest.
08:46Oh?
08:49We need a drink.
08:51But first I'm going to get you some clothes.
08:54We didn't have mirrors.
08:56Of course you didn't.
08:59And I, well, I seem to have lost the ability to look at myself.
09:03And yet everybody else seemed to want to look at me.
09:05It's almost as if I've forgotten what I look like.
09:10Not that I think I'm still 16.
09:12You've got a beautiful face.
09:14No, no, no.
09:15It's not a question of pride.
09:18Do you know, to be honest, I gotta admit, I don't like changing rooms either.
09:21Everything had short sleeves and the tops and the dresses and I just wanted something to cover myself.
09:31What is it you want covered?
09:34Well, my arms and my legs.
09:38I mean, there were some long sleeves, but it's not that I don't like my arms.
09:44I mean, I don't really think about my arms.
09:53I have never shaved my armpits.
10:01And everything felt very, well, very exposing of that.
10:06And I've also never shaved my legs.
10:16I am profoundly hairy.
10:42Father David.
10:49Oh, hi. I was called to go to replacing.
10:52Yes, of course. Take a seat.
11:38Thanks for coming.
11:41You're Lucy?
11:42Yeah.
11:44And thank you for bringing me.
11:48I care deeply about your mum.
11:51I've missed her at best.
11:54Went in every day, right?
11:56That's right.
11:58Bet confession was a blast.
12:07Did she talk about me?
12:12I know you can't say.
12:21Wink for yes, maybe.
12:27Gertrude was, er, is very kind around the parish.
12:32She wasn't...
12:36I wasn't Catholic.
12:39She wasn't Catholic when I was a child.
12:43She was when she was a kid, but found being an adult more...
12:49...difficult.
12:52I'm guessing you two didn't always get on.
12:56No.
12:59She...
13:00liked to hurt.
13:06I'm sorry about that.
13:08I'm just...
13:13...pleased someone's forgiven her.
13:20It's time.
13:35Lucy, would you come in with me?
13:38Uh...
13:39The last rites...
13:41...are something...
13:44...really quite beautiful.
13:48It's a celebration of the sacraments of penance and viaticum.
13:54Viaticum is...
13:56...a Latin word meaning...
13:58...provision and love...
14:00...for the next part of the journey.
14:04We are taken...
14:06...with you...
14:08...on the way.
14:14It's about faith...
14:16...of course, but I think...
14:18...it's mostly...
14:20...about love.
14:24I...
14:25It...
14:26...it doesn't have to be about your forgiveness.
14:29I'm not challenging your anger.
14:32All that's asked for...
14:33...is your support for her penance...
14:36...and her journey.
14:44I definitely support her penance.
15:03Do you have anything to say to me, Gertrude?
15:07If you're unable to talk...
15:08...just squeeze my hand.
15:10If you're sorry for anything you've done wrong.
15:24I just...
15:25...wanna say...
15:28Thanks, Gertrude.
15:30Thank you...
15:32...for being a really good friend...
15:34...to me...
15:36...and...
15:36...to the community.
15:38I think we saw the very best of you.
15:43I love you...
15:46...very much.
16:05God, the Father of mercies...
16:07...through the death and resurrection of His Son...
16:10...has reconciled the world to Himself...
16:12...and the Holy Spirit among us...
16:14...for the forgiveness of sins...
16:16...through the ministry of His Church.
16:18May God...
16:19...give you peace...
16:21...and pardon.
16:25I absolve you...
16:27...from your sins...
16:28...in the name of the Father...
16:31...and of the Son...
16:33...and of the Holy Spirit.
17:10...from your...
17:15It's okay.
17:19It's okay.
17:21I'm not.
17:23I'm not.
17:35I'm not sure.
17:38I'm not.
17:50I'm not the nun.
17:50How did she know that?
18:08I'm not.
18:09I'm not.
18:10I'm not.
18:13She's the first time.
18:18You are the drama, people are the drama.
18:22I love you.
18:25I love you.
18:27I love you.
18:28I love you.
18:30I love you.
18:32I just didn't mind you.
18:33I just didn't mind you.
18:36I remember how she was happy.
18:40I remember making it...
18:42SPIDGE
18:44and...
18:45her vows...
18:52for you.
18:54Is she okay?
18:58I...
18:59I haven't been single.
19:02She...
19:03Sorry.
19:09She...
19:11I appreciate you there.
19:14She...
19:22Maybe...
19:31She...
19:33Feel something.
19:40She...
19:41She...
19:46Hello?
19:48Oh...
19:49Maybe she...
19:51That...
19:54You find a better...
19:56Death.
20:04I don't like this.
20:05No, no.
20:07Just...
20:08I know.
20:33my name's david i'm an alcoholic
20:38hi david i'm also as most of you know a priest it's been a while since i've spoken
20:47i was in reading quite a big deal i was given a lot of responsibilities and diocese a lot
20:53for my age who are those that said i was to be the next bishop quite young bishop
21:02there were a group of kids i was counseling not all catholics but i was pushing for a church that
21:07reaches out i wasn't a trained counselor but i'd done courses and i thought the priesthood was social
21:19work i i thought this boy i wouldn't say his name was being abused and
21:29i was trying to help him get him to admit what had happened to him
21:34how he felt about it things i felt he needed
21:40and he he did tell me he told me all sorts
21:46as his father raping him
21:56and the the difficult thing was
22:03the difficult thing was that he told me he thought he liked it
22:13and then he um
22:18he killed himself
22:25it was very
22:29sad
22:33no one blames me but
22:36people kept telling me to pray and uh kept wanting to pray themselves and
22:42i led them that's my job i led them in praying and
22:47that's when i lost it the ability to pray i found i could only talk to god i could only
22:58find god within
22:59myself when i drank i found truth solace
23:08i don't know
23:12i took to starting the day with a drink
23:20you know i'm i'm not blaming it on losing the kid it was my own weakness
23:26i'm not saying that was the reason but it was the trigger
23:33anyway
23:38i was i was no longer talked of as a future bishop
23:45someone saw what was happening and i was taken away and treated and
23:50helped
23:53and
23:55i moved in with my sister
23:58and found a new life
24:02here
24:05three ever priests to move
24:09but bristol was good enough to welcome me and
24:14felt i was doing good
24:17perhaps not good enough but
24:20it could work
24:26but
24:26but
24:29lately
24:32things have become disturbed
24:38disturbed
24:39and i i guess i'm
24:44scared i'm gonna
24:54right now i need to drink so badly
25:03know
25:04i
25:28In the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit, the Lord be with you.
25:39Lord, we have sinned against you. Lord, have mercy.
25:47Show us your mercy and your love. May Almighty God have mercy on us, forgive
25:56our sins, and bring us to everlasting life. Amen.
26:15Uh, welcome.
26:19Um, welcome to something a bit different.
26:27Now, the Catholic Church is not known for its thieving, apart from all the things we've
26:32stolen. Um, but this today is an audacious act of larceny, taken back from the Church of
26:40England, what is in fact a Catholic event. In fact, I'll go further. A Catholic embrace.
26:46A celebration not of plenty, but of eliminating want. Of giving and the understanding of need.
26:56Saint Isidore, often called the farmer and our saint of harvest, said this,
27:03When God's grace touches our innermost minds to bring understanding, his word, which is
27:10received by the ear, can sink deep into our heart. Today is an act of love.
27:21And let's start by singing hymn number 432. Come ye thankful people come.
27:51Well, that was a beautiful service.
27:53Oh, yeah.
27:55Still fancying though, right?
28:02I hope you didn't think I got my hair done for him.
28:05You had a haircut.
28:07You didn't get your hair done.
28:12I felt so ashamed sitting there.
28:14Well, you shouldn't have.
28:18I feel...
28:21I feel like I'm ten years old.
28:23Well, you're not!
28:25And I say that to someone who's shaved your armpits.
28:29I feel like I'm eating this.
28:37I feel like I'm eating my armpits.
28:38If it's not, I'm just a little more.
28:44I'm going to put it in my armpits.
28:45But I'm going to put it in my armpits.
28:46I'll put this.
28:48I'll put it in my armpits.
28:51I'll put it in my armpits.
28:59I forgive you.
29:01No, no, no.
29:19I'm sorry.
29:22It's all I was teasing.
29:25It's all I'm doing.
29:25My fault.
29:31Go.
29:34Stop it.
30:18I'm not discussing him with you.
30:23Why not?
30:24Because I don't want your judgment.
30:2626 years just torn up like that.
30:29That's not how I see it.
30:33I don't have to justify my choices to you.
30:37You just walk out on a job for a man who won't look at you.
30:41How do you see it?
30:43Did you come here just to shout at me, Mum?
30:45You were 16.
30:46I told you it was a mistake.
30:49You were so sure until suddenly you throw it all away, all that work.
30:53All that work?
30:54You made a commitment.
30:57A commitment which ripped my heart out.
31:02Your dad's heart out now means nothing.
31:04I made a commitment which I do not regret.
31:08Of course you regret it.
31:09But now I realize...
31:10Now you realize you've thrown away the best part of your life.
31:14And he doesn't want you back.
31:16Right?
31:18You made this choice, and he doesn't want you back.
31:24That's the thing you could never understand.
31:27There's a point where you are, as a woman where we all are so beautiful.
31:31But now it's...
31:33I'm not.
31:37Go home.
31:40I needed to see you.
31:42You are making your problems mine.
31:45Mum, like you always do.
31:48Go home.
31:51Don't remember the wrong things from this.
31:53You've made your point.
31:56Go home.
32:19Hello, Father.
32:20Hello, Miriam.
32:22I was, um...
32:24I was wondering if I could talk...
32:31I wondered if you fancied a walk.
32:43I enjoyed your harvest service.
32:46I was pleased to see you there.
32:50Surprised, if I'm honest.
32:52There's something basic, isn't there, about...
32:56the harvest as a time for sharing.
32:58It was originally Catholic.
33:00Until Henry VIII, there was a Catholic service, and the Irish...
33:04Yes, I think you mentioned that a few times.
33:09How long did it take you to write it for the sermon?
33:14Depends on why you're asking.
33:16I liked it.
33:17All the stuff about the true nature of giving.
33:21I thought you gave a true analysis of generosity as an exchange.
33:30I write them very quickly, often in the bath.
33:34And then I revise them quite a bit.
33:37So you write in the bath?
33:40Well, I actually dictate them into my phone.
33:43I can hear the water moving when I'm listening back.
33:46Oh.
33:47That's an odd image.
33:49I suppose there isn't a great deal to do butt-dink.
33:53When you wept.
33:56No.
34:01My parents came to see me.
34:03Furious.
34:04About leaving your...
34:05Yeah.
34:06I thought you said they weren't especially Catholic.
34:08Well, my mum didn't want me to become a nun, but...
34:10Here I am.
34:12Doing it anyway.
34:13Oh.
34:13Leaving.
34:15Having ruined the best part of my life,
34:17serving something fruitless.
34:19You haven't ruined the best parts of your life.
34:22It's only you and my mother.
34:25My parents were troubled by my choice.
34:28My sister thought it was great.
34:30Not like the good old days,
34:31when that third child will be stuffed off to the clergy.
34:34I think that's more of an Anglican tradition.
34:36Do they come to your services?
34:39Both dead.
34:41My sister's still around her.
34:43She's a natural daughter.
34:44I was adopted.
34:46Oh.
34:48So your parents were...
34:51Not white.
34:54Yeah.
34:55It's a bit strange how that question's always the first one people ask.
34:59Sorry for the boring question.
35:01It's not boring at all.
35:02Just marginally...
35:02Racist.
35:04Socially tannic.
35:10I don't want to have sex with you.
35:14Sorry?
35:19I don't know what this is,
35:21but I've kept thinking about it,
35:23and I just wanted to say
35:25that I don't think I want to have sex with you.
35:31Er...
35:32Okay.
35:33Or, er...
35:34Well, maybe I do.
35:34Maybe I'm just saying that to, um...
35:36But sex...
35:37The...
35:38The idea of...
35:39Of sex...
35:40Even when you were talking about yourself,
35:42you know,
35:42in...
35:42In the bath,
35:43actually,
35:43that didn't do it...
35:45For me,
35:47because...
35:47The idea of sex is...
35:49Truly terrifying to me,
35:51as I'm sure it is to you.
35:53Er...
35:53I'm not even sure how I feel about kissing.
35:57I just don't know...
35:58What this is.
36:02The way you make me feel,
36:04the way you've...
36:05Made me feel...
36:07In an instant,
36:09is...
36:10It remains something I...
36:13I can't explain,
36:14or...
36:15Or even understand.
36:17Even now.
36:20I...
36:21It's something else.
36:23It's...
36:24Something more.
36:29So...
36:29That's it.
36:35Now...
36:36Now you have to talk.
36:45I just wanted to see you.
36:48Why?
36:51Because I like you.
36:56What a safe word to use.
37:01I suppose I was...
37:03Worried about you.
37:05Of course you are.
37:12But, um...
37:13Thank you for...
37:15The clarity...
37:18That's sex.
37:38I don't want to have sex with you.
37:43But I do want to hold your hand.
38:05Okay.
38:10Okay.
38:14my position hasn't changed
38:19you're worried for me
38:21you don't want to have sex with me
38:24and you don't have feelings for me
38:25I'm going to keep saying the word sex
38:27I know now I still can't stop
38:32the promises are
38:35everything to me
38:38my service to God
38:40matters
38:42to me
38:45my feelings for you
38:48are ones of
38:49care and
38:53friendship
38:56okay
38:56all I want to do
39:00I want to help you
39:05you know I threw my life up
39:07for you
39:08and you can deny responsibility
39:11but I
39:11hang on I'm responsible
39:12yes
39:14yes you are
39:14and now you are
39:15you're sat here like a wet pudding
39:18and I feel like I'm the one
39:19who has to make you feel okay
39:24and I should go
39:27but you came to my service
39:28yes I came to your church
39:30why
39:30to take part in a festival
39:32well it felt like you were
39:34what
39:36what
39:42I hoped it was an act of friendship
39:48it must be lovely to have hopes like you've got
39:51I
39:53I want to be your friend
39:56and help isn't a bad word
39:58I want to support you in what you're doing
40:00I want to
40:03I can't be that
40:07but I can be
40:11I'd like to be your friend
40:12okay
40:12well I accept your friendship
40:16you do
40:17yes
40:18thank you
40:18yes I do
40:19but
40:21I am
40:21I'm tired now
40:23and I want to go home
40:27do you even know the way
40:31always been good at retracing my steps
40:36you know I was sure
40:37when I became a nun
40:38and I am equally sure now
40:40I
40:41I just know that God's path for me has changed
40:45and I
40:46I
40:48I believe
40:50that God's path for you has changed too
40:53I am not
40:55some
40:55caged bird
40:57who saw a means of escape
40:58I saw
40:59what you felt
41:04and I felt it too
41:08I didn't imagine it
41:58I took off
42:01when I was like
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