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00:05Music
00:08Music
00:09Music
00:09Music
00:21I don't know.
00:40I don't know.
01:09I don't know.
02:00I don't know.
02:02I don't know.
02:18I don't know.
02:49I don't know.
02:51I wish I could stay.
02:54I'll be set up properly.
02:56No, this is great.
02:57All I need is your computer.
02:58Well, the food bank needs you.
03:00Saturday kitchen at the church needs you.
03:03And I need money.
03:04I can lend you money.
03:07I can lend you money.
03:07How much do you lend, Muriel?
03:09What, 200 this week, 200 the next?
03:11You cook for me.
03:13You make my meals.
03:14I'm saving on microwave dinners and shop lunches.
03:19I could pay you to be my housekeeper.
03:22I can do this.
03:23I can do this.
03:26That is painful to watch.
03:28Why don't you go away?
03:31I'm trying.
03:32Did you even meet a computer before you went inside?
03:35Inside?
03:36Well, look at you.
03:38Can I use your phone number?
03:41Of course.
03:43And your email address.
03:45We will get you an email address when I come home.
03:48Well, I can do it.
03:48I mean, it's free, isn't it?
03:49You just point me in the right direction.
03:51Anna, I know you want to get started,
03:53but this is going to be harder than you thought.
03:55Well, it's better I know how hard it is quite quickly.
03:58Let's get the poles in the ground before we put the tent up.
04:03I just want to prove that I can do this.
04:07I want to feel like I'm starting.
04:10You don't need to prove anything.
04:13You don't need to start anything.
04:15It's just details.
04:16We can sort it.
04:18I'm not living off you.
04:20No.
04:24You're living with me.
04:26I'll see you later.
04:30Have fun at work.
04:33Hope you see Marcus from Obstetrics.
04:58We were out of hosts.
05:00I fetched some from Father George.
05:03Pleasant man, but terrible dandruff.
05:06Not good for a praise.
05:08There were many sins they warned us of at the seminary.
05:11Dandruff was a tragic omission.
05:14You cannot wear black and malt head skin.
05:20For your sister.
05:22For her wedding.
05:24It's a bracelet.
05:26I didn't know whether it was ugly or nice.
05:28I bought it on the off chance.
05:29It was nice.
05:31You bought her a wedding present.
05:33Oh.
05:33No.
05:34Is that the wrong thing to have done?
05:36It is today, isn't it?
05:37Look, I like your sister.
05:39She's fun.
05:40Look, she's having a registry office wedding.
05:43I know.
05:44We were working on the blessing in here.
05:46The blessing's just in the garden.
05:47Small party.
05:49Anyone's welcome?
05:51No.
05:52You should come.
05:53I should not.
05:53I haven't been invited.
05:55No one's been invited.
05:56My sister's terrified of rejection,
05:58so she doesn't like to make anything formal.
06:02Please.
06:03Look, this wasn't me trying to...
06:05Of course.
06:06Well, you will be there.
06:083 p.m.
06:08See how the heathens do it.
06:133 p.m.
06:14I'll be free.
06:15How's your mum?
06:18There's a surprise.
06:20Look, Tina's here.
06:21You'll never guess who she's with.
06:24The Lord be with you.
06:26And with your spirit.
06:28Lord, we have sinned against you.
06:30Lord, have mercy.
06:31Lord, have mercy.
06:33Show us your mercy and your love.
06:36And grant us your salvation.
06:39Let us pray.
06:42Thank you, Father.
06:44Hey!
06:51Hello.
06:54And hello.
06:56Don't get excited and thinking you're converting me.
06:59We've got an appointment at the hospital in the bit,
07:01and this one thought I might as well do this before.
07:03Look, you're very welcome here.
07:05We've been having visitors every five minutes,
07:07sorting out this, that, and the other.
07:10I don't know who you'd pass me on to,
07:12how much pressure you put on.
07:13I-I'm just pleased it's working out.
07:16I slightly resent it.
07:19I think it's kind of you.
07:23She's going to speak in court.
07:26He wrote to me,
07:28asking for forgiveness,
07:30telling me he was going to kill himself if I didn't,
07:32or if I did.
07:35Asking for forgiveness.
07:37What did he do?
07:39Nothing.
07:40He didn't kill himself.
07:42Because he's full of shit.
07:45There he is.
07:48Oh, no.
07:49I'm not Catholic.
07:50I'm not Catholic.
08:01Happy?
08:03Happy.
08:04You?
08:06You should stop asking how I am.
08:08You can care about me.
08:09I can't care about you.
08:10Something like that.
08:12Can I just say,
08:15I liked your nan.
08:19Liked her too.
08:21So you weren't a dick then?
08:22I thought you'd probably be a dick.
08:24I-I don't, if I'm honest, know what I was.
08:27If you don't know,
08:28you were probably a dick.
08:32I think you're grateful.
08:35But you don't care what I think.
08:37Because you were thinking about her.
08:43Mum,
08:44can you wait?
08:46I'm pregnant.
08:48Mum.
08:49I can't.
09:07OK, I need everybody in the car.
09:10It's very loud.
09:12Mum, Simon, I need you in the car.
09:13Mum, I need you in the car.
09:18Why aren't you in the bloody car?
09:20OK.
09:21Where are you going?
09:25You're not wearing that.
09:26Where are you going,imet.
10:11I don't know.
10:26What's wrong with you?
10:29I'm not gonna do this.
10:29I'm not gonna do this.
10:35I'm not gonna do this.
10:48Oh, fuck.
10:53I'm not gonna do this.
10:54I'm not gonna do this.
11:02Oh, fuck.
11:05Let's be the best.
11:09See, see.
11:13l'm not going.
11:15Oh, fuck.
11:23So big.
11:24There we go.
12:11We're going to be late. We're going to miss our slots and it's going to be all your fault.
12:16I love you.
12:18Oh, I love you, Williams.
12:21Get in the car!
12:22Oh, OK. OK. Off we go!
12:34Cheers.
12:48What can I get you love?
12:50I just saw the sign in the window.
12:52Which sign?
12:53I'm looking for work.
12:55Oh, that's an old sign, love. Sorry.
12:58You don't know of anybody else's.
13:00Not right now. There's a bit of a local dip happening. Everyone's struggling a bit.
13:04Leave me a number and I'll keep an ear out for you.
13:07Thanks. This is my friend Muriel's number. I'm just staying with her at the moment. I'm Anna.
13:18OK, Anna. Good luck to you.
13:24Why listen to this?
13:26No, I've done a playlist. A song for every year. It's Susan and I could have been together and weren't
13:33together. The songs we should have danced to.
13:38That's crazy.
13:39Oh, it's romantic.
13:41Telly-up.
13:52Anna, thanks so much for coming in. What sort of work are you looking for?
13:57I'm not sure what I'm qualified for. Catering, I hope. I can cook and I can clean. Data entry skills.
14:07Sorry? What's your typing speed?
14:10I don't have one.
14:12Can you use a computer?
14:15I can try.
14:19You haven't filled in the book where it says previous work.
14:23No, well, I was a nun. I don't really think that counts as a job. I don't think it is
14:31a job. It's more a calling.
14:35Right. I could fill out the CV section but it would just say none. And then none and then none.
14:42Sounds like a joke, doesn't it?
14:45It does the way you're saying it.
14:49Have you got a permanent address?
14:52I have an address.
14:54Have you got a national insurance number?
14:58Ah, I remember having one of those.
15:02But I could find it.
15:03Do you have preferred hours?
15:06No.
15:07Maybe you want to have a little think about that.
15:10Childcare needs or...
15:12No, no, no. I don't have any kids.
15:16I was a nun.
15:18You just, um, you don't look like a nun.
15:23Well, I'm not one anymore.
15:38You can't help me, can you?
15:42We don't really get catering work.
15:46What I do is get your typing speed up.
15:50Um, there's courses you can take online.
15:53And, um, come back when you're in a better place.
16:01Look!
16:02We're late. Are we late?
16:04Susan and Simon?
16:06We've got time.
16:06Good morning.
16:11Good morning.
16:11My name is Sandra.
16:12And as the Deputy Superintendent Registrar for Bristol,
16:15it is my privilege to welcome you here today.
16:18I'm joined by my colleague, Grace, and our interpreter, Bella.
16:22And we are met in a place duly sanctioned according to law
16:25for the celebration of marriages and civil partnerships.
16:30We're gathered here today for the joining in matrimony
16:32of Simon Ian Neve and Susan Grace Hicks.
16:39If any person here present knows of any lawful impediment
16:42to this marriage, they should declare it now.
16:48That's the difficult bit. It's really easy for me.
16:51Yeah.
17:19I'm starting to send
17:38I was thinking I could then explain that
17:40It sounds like Shakespeare
17:43You don't mean that as a compliment, do you?
17:45What else do you say? Do you make any jokes?
17:47It's not best man speech, it's a blessing
17:49Can you tell about the time when mum brought home that box of milk tray
17:53And then I pissed her off so she ate them all in her own
17:56Oh yeah, that would really make them laugh, wouldn't it?
17:58She ate the whole box, two layers
18:01And then she got really constipated and really complained about it
18:04Bugger it! I can't do this, it keeps falling down
18:08I might be able to help
18:12I'm too early
18:13I always am
18:15A little girl let me in
18:18I presume she's related to at least one of you
18:20I'm a dab hand at DIYs, surprisingly
18:25Hello, I'm Frances
18:26Hi
18:27David
18:52Dad? Mum?
18:54Muriel called
18:55I've brought my own brushes
18:57Brushes for what?
18:59Setting things right
19:00Well I'm not here to paint, I hate paint
19:03And I've got three different shades of blue
19:04So you can choose the one you want
19:05And one will be called wistful dog breath
19:07And the other will be called Shropshire bed crumpet
19:10And they'll be-
19:11Of all things to be angry about
19:12You're angry about paint names
19:14Well I brought the lamp you like
19:16And a bed spread from your Aunty Penny
19:18Am I missing something? What's happening here?
19:20I've got Zach's permission, we're gonna paint your room
19:23I told you, I never liked that we didn't redo your room at home
19:28For a long time he thought it was the reason you became a nun
19:31That bloody dear wallpaper
19:33So you're redecorating the room?
19:35Your room
19:36And that's the start that matters
19:38Making a home
19:40I have a brush for you
19:42You can bloody help
19:58Working on your blessing?
20:01Oh, er, Lindsay
20:03The older daughter says I need more jokes
20:07Ah
20:09As a younger man I once got told off by a priest
20:12For getting too many laughs in a sermon
20:15Humour is an underrated quality in the clergy
20:20I wondered if you wouldn't mind
20:24Would you mind hearing my confession?
20:27Now?
20:28Yeah?
20:29I'd like it
20:30If you have a moment
20:53I'm not much of what most would consider a man
20:58You all?
20:59Well
21:01I've lived most of my life with my mother
21:04I've dedicated myself to God, her and my allotment in that order
21:10I didn't know you had an allotment
21:12Good
21:13You shouldn't
21:15It's my quiet place, I don't talk about it to anyone
21:18Well, except mother
21:20My point is, there is no reason why you would take what advice I have in any way seriously
21:26And it's not advice you are seeking
21:31But
21:33I am a little older than you
21:35I've seen and experienced some aspects in a little more depth
21:39And I do care so deeply about you
21:42You've been a constant in my prayer
21:45Well, that's very kind, I care deeply about you too
21:49But, um
21:51Just to check
21:53Is this a confession?
22:02My mother doesn't recognise me anymore
22:06There are moments when I half believe she does, but she doesn't
22:11Not a kind woman
22:15Not someone even particularly filled with love
22:19I stayed with her because she needed me after my father's death
22:23Even if she did not think she did
22:29I should talk of your mother more
22:32Her dementia in the last six months
22:36Has become increasingly cruel
22:39Violent, you understand, as some dementias get
22:43The violence I can cope with
22:45The words I sometimes find more
22:49The hidden ways she's thought of me
22:53She accuses me
22:54She has accused me
22:58Of being attracted to her
23:00She's accused me of watching her in the bath
23:03She's an 86-year-old woman, you understand
23:06She's accused me of being attracted to other women who come to the house
23:10Carers and elderly friends
23:12She's found lust in my every
23:16In all of me
23:22The only reason I feel able to repeat these charges is because
23:25There is no truth to them
23:31But that doesn't mean they aren't incredibly painful
23:35I can imagine
23:37And yet still
23:39And this is the beauty of his love
23:41Still, I sit on my allotment
23:43Or in church or anywhere
23:46Really, and I pray
23:47And I find such love in my life
23:52Not from her, no
23:56I find it in the love I give her
23:59My love
24:00You understand?
24:02And I do not regret
24:03And this is important to me
24:05And it's true
24:06I do not regret a single second I spent with her
24:10I do not regret my life
24:12Because it is a love to this day
24:19It is a life filled with a true love
24:28You're a good man
24:32You're missing the point I'm trying to make
24:36You think I do regret my life?
24:39I wouldn't presume to judge
24:43But I've noticed the light going out in your eyes
24:48Your eyes are normally so full of light
24:53And that
24:56Well
24:58I have noticed that
25:04Adultery
25:05That's all it is
25:07I'm sure you've heard plenty churned up messy
25:10I tell them in the confessional you have committed a terrible sin
25:14There's some I can sense just like the sex
25:18For those I lay it on thick
25:22But others
25:24I sense a deeper conflict
25:26And to those I say
25:29Love
25:30Is the only gift
25:32Worth fighting for
25:35And this love comes in many forms
25:38And God's gift
25:40Which he gave to all humanity
25:44Is that only you know
25:46Which love is true
25:52And then I forgive them and give them penance
25:55That is my right and duty as a priest
25:57You think I'm committing adultery?
26:01You were married to God
26:03And now you're looking elsewhere
26:06You're risking sin
26:08But...
26:10Sins can get forgiven
26:17Would you give all this up?
26:21What would you give up?
26:24A position, a trust perhaps, a wage
26:26But...
26:27These are just trinkets and support mechanisms in life's great journey
26:32They aren't an answer to anything
26:34You would not give up God's love
26:36And God would not give up on loving you
26:40And those around you, the true ones
26:44And I would hope to include myself in this number
26:47They would not stop loving you either
26:51A dog collar David isn't the reason I do good things
26:56And it isn't the reason you do
27:03There we go
27:05That's all I have
27:07Your turn now
27:09Hail Mary's, et cetera
27:10Give me my penance
27:13Let's keep the pretense up
27:16She tied me down, Frances
27:22She's come back to the Wymag, back to where she wants to be
27:25Ah...
27:28No
27:30No
27:32She's back
27:34If no one's told you
27:36She's left the convent
27:38Again
27:40You were quite right in your diagnosis of her
27:43She is enormously flighty
28:00She was quite a mess
28:01Here's a murder
28:02She's left
28:03in the morning
28:03We took the place
28:06every day
28:12To the left, to the right
28:16Step it up, step it up, it's alright
28:20To the left, to the right
28:24Check the mood right out, it's alright
28:28Silence all season
28:32Cause there ain't no good grief
28:36Can't stop my mouth from breathing
28:40Or seeing what I see
28:44Curves with destinations
28:48Are wet into my tree
28:52You're causing inflammation
28:56In my anatomy
28:59Don't you see
29:02Yeah, yeah, yeah
29:04You can say you forget to knock
29:07Yeah, yeah, yeah
29:08But I'll still reach up to the top
29:11Yeah, yeah, yeah
29:13Until the last day that I drop
29:15Yeah, yeah, yeah
29:17To the left
29:21It's on you now
29:22Well, it's on me
29:32And I love you too
29:36I think I've missed something
29:38What have I missed?
30:04Jump in, mate
30:20Look at this
30:23Look, thank you
30:25Thank you
30:38Looks nice
30:40Can I bring some more things from home?
30:42You're welcome any time, you know that
30:45But now your father and I need to go
30:48Stay
30:49Let me make us all some food
30:52I'd like that
30:54You'd like it?
30:55I'm not angry with you
30:57Mum, none of this was your fault
31:00I can't remember ever claiming it was
31:04And I think I'm excited, Mum
31:09It's OK to be scared, too
31:14I thought you'd be going after him
31:16No
31:18No, he, er
31:21He's not right
31:22He's, er, not ready
31:24But I am still excited about
31:26What my life is going to be now
31:29OK
31:34I'm proud of you
31:44Tarragon chicken
31:45Sounds lovely
31:55I don't have anything to say
31:57Just give it short
31:58Pick your reins at first, isn't it?
32:00Short is fine
32:01But you do understand
32:02I can't recognise your marriage
32:04I applaud what you're doing
32:06But I'm a priest
32:07It would be a betrayal to my congregation
32:09Well, what can you do?
32:11I could have a go at blessing your love in some way
32:14Yeah, we can, um...
32:16Follow our nose
32:17Follow our nose
32:25Hello
32:26Hello
32:28Is Muriel here?
32:30Oh, you look a mess
32:31Yeah, I've been running
32:32Look, Muriel, I need to see her
32:34Is this him?
32:35Yeah
32:36Him, who am I?
32:37Er, this is Anna's mother
32:40Oh
32:41Hello
32:42I'm her father
32:42She's not home
32:44She went to the shop
32:45She wanted to cook us all dinner
32:47We've been painting
32:48Whit Sharps
32:49Yeah, hold your horses
32:50Why don't you just wait
32:51Whit Sharps
32:51Tesco
32:52Thank you
32:53It's nice to meet you
32:56Er, it's very nice to meet you too
32:57Hope we get to talk more
33:04Sweet is thy work
33:08My God, my King
33:13To praise thy name
33:21Hello, everybody
33:22My name is Francis
33:25I'm a priest
33:27And I believe
33:29In love
33:32Two are better than one
33:35Because they have a good reward for their toil
33:38For if they fall
33:40One will lift up his fellow
33:43But woe to him who is alone when he falls
33:46And has not another to lift him up
33:50Susan
33:51Do you take Simon to be your beloved?
33:55Will you cherish him?
33:58And
33:59Trying to find other adjectives
34:03Will you make him your home?
34:05Just as he makes you his
34:08I will
34:10Simon
34:12Will you do the same?
34:14I will
34:17Oh
34:18Do you wish to kiss?
34:20You don't have to
34:20If you don't fancy it
34:27Good
34:29Well, I now pronounce you
34:32Nothing at all
34:34Shall we have a party now?
34:36Yeah
34:43Anna
34:48Don't run away, please
34:49Just let me talk
34:53I'm not running
34:55And you can certainly talk
34:58I came looking for you
35:00At Muriel's house
35:02Oh, okay
35:03I met your mum
35:07Ah, okay
35:09Yeah
35:15I believe you promised words
35:18Sorry?
35:19You said you wanted to talk
35:21Yeah
35:21Um, I just want to tell you
35:24I want to tell you that
35:30I'm leaving the priesthood
35:36I haven't told anyone
35:38Yet
35:39But
35:41Yeah, I can't remain
35:43I've told him
35:47Okay
35:49Why?
35:52Because
35:57It's because I love you
36:06Why do you love me?
36:11I think
36:15I've always loved you
36:20It's just taken me a while to work that out
36:26I'm really sorry about that
36:42Now do you want to say something?
36:51Uh, let's
36:54Let's not talk here
37:13There was a boy at school
37:14Adam
37:15Adam
37:16He sat behind me in French
37:18Beautiful brown eyes
37:21Never said anything
37:22To me
37:22But he would sit
37:23Staring at the back of my neck
37:25All the way through the class
37:27I could feel it
37:30He was probably just bored
37:34Well, I did take to wearing my hair up
37:36Whenever we had French lessons
37:40And then there was a Benedictine monk
37:42At Lourdes
37:44When I was a postulant
37:46Called Francois
37:48Also
37:49Brown eyes
37:53I think
37:55They were my other
37:58Temptations
38:00I thought about both of them
38:01Probably a little bit more than I should
38:06But
38:06Well, the thing is
38:09The thing is
38:10With them
38:11I knew
38:12You know
38:12That they
38:12They were just
38:14Urges
38:16Horrible word
38:18Whereas
38:22Whereas
38:23You
38:25Changed my soul
38:27And I
38:28I just
38:29I felt
38:30So angry
38:32That I
38:33Didn't
38:34Make yours
38:36Change
38:37In the same way
38:42Well, you did
38:46It was humiliating
38:48Do you understand me?
38:50You really
38:51Really humiliated me
38:54You really hurt me
38:58I
38:58I could
38:58I could
38:59I could hit you
39:01I
39:03Wouldn't mind
39:04That
39:05That would be
39:06Be far too easy
39:10Need to
39:10Find a better way
39:11To
39:12Pay you back
39:16Is this all
39:20Are you saying
39:21I've lost my chance?
39:25I
39:26Don't
39:26Don't
39:31don't I
39:36Just
39:37I
39:50You
39:54Don't
39:57You terrible, insecure, cowardly fuck.
40:08I hate that word.
40:13I like it.
40:16Sounds like a maths teacher.
40:18A maths teacher?
40:20A maths teacher being overheard outside of class.
40:23It's a noble profession.
40:45Thank you for listening.
40:58I am a coward.
41:02Sometimes.
41:08I don't know if I'm going to be good for you.
41:11I don't know if I'm going to be good for you.
41:15I hope you know.
41:17I don't have a job.
41:18I don't have a house.
41:21Well, the good thing is
41:23I don't have any of those things either.
41:25I don't know if I'm an alcoholic.
41:30And I'm
41:31perimenopausal.
41:39I think it's okay to say that we're
41:41we're both scared.
41:43Yeah. Angry.
41:45That's just me.
41:46But scared.
41:49It's both of us.
41:53He saved me.
41:57I was lost and he saved me and
42:01I don't want to betray him.
42:04Well, then
42:05let's decide that it's not a betrayal.
42:10He saved me, too.
42:13You know, I'm just the same.
42:14I'd like to ring a bell and put my life back
42:16I don't like how it was, but...
42:22I'd also really like to kiss you again.
42:37I'd also really like to kiss you again.
42:54to multiplication the other way it's not
42:55to get to take away here.
42:55So,
43:04you know,
43:04that's all right.
43:05So,
43:09well,
43:19What?
43:26How do we do this?
43:34I think I know.
43:41I think I know.
44:10I think I know.
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