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Rivals Season 1 Episode 5 | English Sub

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Transcript
00:03Fancy a bite, Rupert?
00:05Oh, that's wrong.
00:07Mr. Campbell Black,
00:10may I interest you in some pudding?
00:12Yes, you can.
00:17I was coming to find you.
00:19It was me thinking you were going to grandmother's house.
00:21My grandmother lives in Ireland.
00:25Um, I had some leftovers from a job I did.
00:28It's a spare jam roly-poly.
00:29Can I interest you in a bite?
00:31A bit of it.
00:34I'll have one.
00:35Hi, Baz. I made it with rhubarb.
00:38Yeah.
00:43Oh, my God.
00:45This is excellent. You not having any?
00:48No, I'm fine.
00:49Shall we head back?
00:52Okay, then.
00:54Bye, London.
00:55Bye. Delicious.
00:58Well, someone's got a huge schoolgirl crush.
01:00I'm going to be ridiculous.
01:02She's just being thoughtful.
01:03I was talking about you.
01:05Roly-poly.
01:07You lucky bugger.
01:08Not lucky at all.
01:10I promised Declan I wouldn't go anywhere near her.
01:13Well, I'm glad to see you kept your promise.
01:14I was telling her to go out.
01:15I'm not.
01:22I'm not.
01:26But who's going away?
01:28Oh.
01:38I'm not.
01:39I'm not.
01:40I'm not.
01:40We're going away.
02:12And now, our TV pick of the week.
02:14Declan O'Hara has been dominating the front pages,
02:17pictured visiting 10 Downing Street with Minister for Sport Rupert Campbell Black.
02:22This week, Mrs Thatcher returns the invitation,
02:24putting herself in the hot seat for a good O'Hara grilling.
02:28As Declan's star rises even higher at Corineum than it did at the BBC,
02:32we're asking ourselves, is this the most powerful man in television?
02:42Let's go forever, everybody wants to move.
02:54Mr O'Hara.
02:57Enid Spink.
02:59Big fan.
03:00I'll be watching Thursday.
03:02Give that milk snatcher a run for her money.
03:04I won't let her off easily.
03:06You have my word.
03:07Dame Enid, can I take you through to Studio Two?
03:10We can't keep Mr Verica waiting.
03:25So, let's have a warm Cotswolds Roundup welcome for our special guest,
03:30Dame Edna Spink.
03:34Oh!
03:37Oh!
03:40Oh!
03:41Oh!
03:43Oh!
03:48Well, now, that was quite an entrance, Dame Edna.
03:50May I call you Edna?
03:52As long as you're not going to ask me to put on a lilac wig
03:54and stuff my bra with loo roll.
03:58Apologies, Dame Enid.
04:00You really are a dumb blonde, aren't you, dear?
04:04Well, thank you very much.
04:09So, Judge's desk here, smashing view of the girls in their swimwear.
04:14Oh, beauty contest.
04:15You are not the only show I'm producing.
04:18Miss Carinium is exactly what the IBU wants to see us join.
04:21Good, regional, wholesome fun.
04:24It was Daisy's brain, child.
04:25Daisy has a brain.
04:27Who knew?
04:30I'm Declan.
04:31Yeah?
04:32Did you get me an autograph?
04:35Mrs. Thatcher?
04:37I'm so sorry, Daisy.
04:39I completely forgot.
04:40I'll get it when she comes in, OK?
04:41OK, so, how was the meeting?
04:42You and Rupert looked pretty cosy in those photos.
04:45Was Thatcher friendly?
04:46Define friendly.
04:47Two boxers circling each other before the big fight.
05:01Thatcher?
05:04She's in my Wembley Stadium.
05:07Do you think I should save Northern Ireland for part two after the Sunday shopping bill?
05:12This matters a lot to you.
05:14I have wanted to interview her ever since she handbagged away into number 10, but the BBC would
05:20never let me at her.
05:22Show everyone who she really is.
05:23Whatever she's doing, people want more of it.
05:26She is selling the state off to the highest bidder.
05:29No, she has turned this country into a land of haves and have-nots, Cameron.
05:33And you're one of the haves?
05:35Yeah, well, I mean, it wasn't always.
05:38Declan, sorry to just stop.
05:40Lord B wants you in his office right now.
05:42Pardon me, Joyce.
05:43A friend at Westminster slipped me something.
05:46You're not going to believe it.
05:47It's a draft of a white paper.
05:51This is embargo, right?
05:53Declan.
05:53Yeah, sorry, Joyce.
05:55Tell Tony I'll catch up with them later, all right?
06:01A local authority shall not promote the teaching in any maintained school of the acceptability
06:07of homosexuality as a pretended family relationship.
06:11I mean, it's inhumane.
06:12This is going to make gay people's lives harder than we already are.
06:16Having a tea party?
06:18Inside track and a new government policy.
06:20Fascinating reading.
06:22What do you need?
06:23The PM's office has faxed a list of questions they want you to ask.
06:32How do you manage to balance motherhood and your demanding job?
06:38Do you miss Wilberforce the cat now that he's retired?
06:42Is this a joke?
06:43Well, if you don't agree, she won't do the interview.
06:44Just tell them we agree, and then when I get around the show, I can ask my own questions.
06:48You don't care that screwing the government might risk the franchise?
06:51I care that conceding to this shite risks my reputation.
06:57Our reputation!
06:58Tony, he's right.
06:59Once we're live, she can hardly walk off set, can't she?
07:02You promised me editorial freedom, Tony.
07:06I'll ask what I want.
07:07This is my interview.
07:08This is my company.
07:09And I don't ask questions about fucking cats.
07:28Get James Verracle up here now.
07:39Tony, it said Edna on the cue cards.
07:41If anyone's head needs to roll here, it's Deidre's.
07:44Sit down.
08:03Nothing's gonna stop us.
08:06Nothing's gonna stop us.
08:15No hard feelings.
08:20The hard that I've got to do is hold you forever, never and ever.
08:34The Prime Minister.
08:35Declan is yesterday's news.
08:37I feel honoured sharing that sofa with you.
08:39Well, after my Thatcher interview, there is a very good chance you'll be on that sofa alone.
08:43I won't be able to film a tea-time show when I've got the prime-time slot.
08:49Would you think I'm good enough to fly solo?
08:52Paul never even watches our show.
08:54Does, um...
08:55Does Lizzie?
08:56Oh, Lizzie, no.
08:57She's always too busy writing.
08:59I don't know why she bothers.
09:00Just get rejected like the last one.
09:03Well, if I were your wife, I wouldn't be able to take my eyes off you for a second.
09:10Oh.
09:17What the fuck are you playing at?
09:20No one wants to see Verracle interview the Prime Minister?
09:23Better than watching you interview an empty chair not to get your friend Rupert back from
09:27another love-in.
09:28Oh, okay.
09:30This is because I didn't eviscerate Rupert for you like you wanted.
09:33No.
09:33It's because you won't do what you're bloody well told.
09:37I bring 20 million viewers to your station each week.
09:42If you don't like the way I work, then I quit.
09:45You might own Carinium, Tony.
09:48But you don't own me.
09:52As it happens, I sort of do.
09:56Firstly, there's that tax bit I clicked for you.
09:59Secondly, well, I was warned you were hard to control.
10:03Luckily, I got a little insurance policy.
10:14Patrick's godfather, I gather, got rather close to Maud last year, didn't he?
10:19Your wife certainly likes a man with a moustache.
10:25You have no idea.
10:29Maud and I don't have secrets.
10:31All right.
10:33But I wonder how happy young Taggy's gonna be when she sees her mother's naked ass across
10:37the centerfold of the Scorpion.
10:48Be sure to cancel any plans you have for Friday night.
10:51Your 20 million viewers will be watching you judge a beauty contest.
11:03Bingo.
11:22You're home early.
11:24I've taken the week off.
11:26I can finally fix the roof.
11:28And mord the lawn.
11:31So what about Mrs. Thatcher?
11:33Tony's given that to Verica.
11:34Why?
11:35What did you do?
11:36I didn't do anything.
11:37Well, I'm surprised you didn't resign on the spot, then.
11:39I would have.
11:40But as it turns out, I couldn't.
11:47What does that mean?
12:01Prime Minister.
12:03Yes, Mr. Verica?
12:04How is it you manage to be the perfect woman, balancing motherhood and our country with such
12:10effortless grace?
12:12Well, any woman who understands the problems of running a home will be nearer to understanding
12:21the difficulties of running a country.
12:25And next, the one about her relationship with Reagan?
12:27No, I'd go for something more personal.
12:29While you have her in a soft mood.
12:31You might be right.
12:32This is fun, isn't it?
12:35Like your days on the Bristol Post, when we used to practice together.
12:39Got another one.
12:39Ready?
12:40Yes.
12:40Okay.
12:44How do the men in your cabinet respond to your authority, Prime Minister?
12:48Well, Mr. Verica.
12:50Or can I call you James?
12:53The way I see it, being powerful, is like being a lady.
13:00If you have to tell people you are, then you aren't.
13:06What are you doing?
13:10Just trying to have a bit of fun.
13:12Please don't.
13:12Okay.
13:13You're not 26 anymore.
13:15No.
13:16Um, right.
13:22The train now rising on to that floor tier is the 836 to London, Pallington.
13:32Letty's nipples hardened with desire as Ferdy led her through the kitchen, and in the darkness of the scullery, he
13:38lifted her red taffeta skirt, his fingers sought out the ladder in her tights.
13:44I love a ladder, Ferdy whispered gruffly, stairway to heaven and all that.
13:49Letty gasped urgently as he lingered on the soft, fleshy openings in the nylon.
13:58Step by step, he climbed his way up her inner thigh until he could feel the biblical heat of her
14:06burning bush.
14:08You're a genius.
14:10It's going to be a smash hit.
14:15Darling, we both know this isn't James.
14:20You simply have to be playing away.
14:22Oh, I've been far too busy writing, Carol.
14:25You know what they say, keep the drama on the page.
14:28I've never heard such nonsense.
14:30Now tell me this man of yours, our hero, is simply too good not to be true.
14:46Freddie James.
14:48What are you doing here?
14:50Long, hard day at the coalface.
14:52I saw you running down the platform.
14:54Oh, lunch round on.
14:55I was plied with champagne and completely lost track of time.
14:59Gentleman buying you champagne, no less than you deserve.
15:02Today was good.
15:03I was actually celebrating with my agent.
15:05She loved the first three chapters of my book.
15:09Well, why don't we continue the celebration in first class?
15:13I only have a second class ticket.
15:14If the conductor comes, I'll pay the difference.
15:17Come on.
15:30I can't imagine how clever you've got to be to write a book.
15:32I don't think I could have done any of it without your incredible equipment.
15:38I mean, your word process.
15:48No, no, Valerie will kill me.
15:50She's got me on the Scarsdale diet.
15:52I've only had two boiled eggs a day.
15:54Well, then you must eat.
15:56Is it fruitcake?
15:57I made it.
15:58Kiss it.
15:59Personally, I find diets have the opposite effect.
16:01They just make me fatter.
16:04Oh, no.
16:05Kiss please, ladies and gents.
16:07Have your tickets ready.
16:08Looks like we're not going to get away a bit after all.
16:10No, you don't.
16:11Complete waste of money.
16:12Come on.
16:13We're nearly out of our stop.
16:17Look at it.
16:21Bit of a tight squeeze.
16:22Maybe the shit I'd spill on this car's down and glide.
16:28Perhaps I should have just paid.
16:30Absolutely not.
16:32I miss all the fun.
16:36Next stop, Conchester.
16:38We will shortly arrive at Conchester Station.
16:45Thank you for saving me £2.50.
16:48Thank you for saving me from falling asleep and waking up in Gloucester.
16:55My traptors.
16:57Oh, I left them.
16:59Oh, girl.
17:00God.
17:05We're all ready.
17:07Oh.
17:14Oh.
17:16Oh.
17:18Oh.
17:36Keep me busy, Charles.
17:37Good morning, Tony.
17:39Morning, girls.
17:48Excited to meet the Iron Lady?
17:52You should be.
17:53She's the only woman I've ever met as a tougher bitch than you.
17:56I hope you're not still sulking.
17:58The country wants to see Thatcher locking horns with Declan,
18:01not that dipshit James Veraker.
18:03This is self-sabotage, Tony. Call Declan.
18:05He could be here in half an hour.
18:06Forget Declan. I've got somebody to cheer you up.
18:10Cuatro hombres agricolas has been nominated for an award.
18:16Four men went to mow.
18:17You're going to need to brush up on your Spanish
18:18if you're going to go to Malaga next month to collect it.
18:21An award?
18:22We're big in Spain, apparently.
18:25Let's say we go together.
18:28Stay in a hotel, walk the red carpet.
18:31Just the two of us.
18:37Now I'm forgiven.
18:41Call Declan.
18:42No.
19:01All right, everyone.
19:02Two blue Tory smiles, please.
19:05Where's the photographer?
19:07Come on, come on.
19:08Up front.
19:09Right there.
19:10Have a shot as soon as she steps out of the car, yes?
19:12Nice big one for the office wall.
19:18What's that?
19:18She's cute, right?
19:19Yes, she's cute.
19:20She's late.
19:21That's all right.
19:27Come on, you lot.
19:28We're making history here.
19:30Come on.
19:30Imagine it's George Riker.
19:41And now for a very special episode of Declan featuring none other than our Prime Minister,
19:47Mrs. Thatcher.
19:50Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage tonight's guest presenter, James Merrigal.
19:59Stop it, you're too kind.
20:01I know what you're thinking.
20:02When did Declan become so handsome?
20:08What's the ingredients for bolognese?
20:10Thought it might tempt Daddy out of his study.
20:12He's watching the interview.
20:17Mummy, you should have stopped him.
20:18Long time since I've had any influence.
20:21Don't cook for me.
20:23Not hungry.
20:38Yes?
20:40Malhar, darling.
20:41Did I disturb you?
20:42Everything about you disturbs me, Mrs. Zohara.
20:48I can't bear it any longer.
20:50I need to see you.
20:59What's wrong with your father?
21:01They're saying he's ill.
21:03Where is he?
21:05Declan?
21:07Declan?
21:19People are saying you're ill.
21:21You don't look ill, just paralytic.
21:23Fuck off, Rupert.
21:25The PM knew you'd never show her caring side, so she dodged the fight.
21:29She knows what she's doing.
21:30And now, thanks to James Berrecher, we all know what Dennis got for his birthday.
21:35And that she swapped recipes with Nancy Reagan.
21:38Tony should have let me have a room for her.
21:40Dog, give us that.
21:41No, no, no, no, no.
21:42Dog, just come on.
21:45Come on.
21:46Come on, up you go, big boy.
21:48Up, up, up, up.
21:51I'm sorry, Ty.
22:00He'll have one hell of a hangover in the morning.
22:03He has one every morning now.
22:07Mummy's given up, so it's all me.
22:11I don't know how men work.
22:13It's people.
22:15I don't understand them.
22:17And I help them.
22:21Could you...
22:22Yeah.
22:23I'll be here first thing.
22:25We'll bring him round, don't worry.
22:30Your supper's gone cold.
22:33I can heat it up.
22:34There's more if you want to stay.
22:40See you in the morning.
22:51Freddy's hands roamed over Letty's back and hips,
22:54gripping her tightly as he drove her to the edge of pleasure.
22:58Finally, with a cry of release,
23:00they both came together,
23:02their bodies convulsing with the force of their shared orgasm.
23:05Freddy!
23:06Good morning.
23:07Well, today and every day this week we're going to be in the studio.
23:10Fred, Fred!
23:10I know you're going to do it.
23:12Fred, Fred!
23:13Shit!
23:16What on earth is going on?
23:17The Green Goddess is waiting.
23:20Were you looking at pornography?
23:22I swear in my life I was not.
23:24It's you.
23:25Look sexy and that.
23:26Honestly, Frederick.
23:28Time and a place.
23:29And now we've missed our chance to go for the burn.
23:41A few times when I was born,
23:43I didn't know you were going to get you.
23:43Oh, my God.
23:44You Vedid.
23:44Um, what?
23:44Then you turn to me.
23:45You were looking at me.
23:45What?
23:47I was just standing on you.
23:48I've always got four days.
23:49I'm doing right, yep, nice.
23:51I've been friends and friends.
23:51You've got some cool legsotним.
24:01Freddie!
24:03I wanted to bring this back.
24:05That was so kind of you.
24:08You look like Superman.
24:11Running after the train.
24:18I'm sorry. I, er...
24:22I wondered if you might agree to come to lunch with me.
24:24I mean, not now.
24:28Not in my dressing gown.
24:30Yeah.
24:32I was thinking maybe the black horse in Bisley.
24:35You know, it's very, er...
24:37Discreet.
24:38Exactly.
24:42I can't tell you how many times in the last few weeks
24:45I've hoped you'd ask me a question like this.
24:49Now you're here.
24:54But I realise that I can't.
24:56I'm so sorry, Freddie.
25:00I...
25:01I'm married.
25:05Thank you, though.
25:07For asking.
25:10And for the manuscript.
25:12I hope you don't mind.
25:15I read your chapters.
25:17Oh.
25:20They were brilliant.
25:23And sexy.
25:27Like you.
25:47Mummy, where are you?
25:50Mummy!
25:55Come in.
26:07There she is.
26:08Taggy!
26:09Oh, my God, Caitlin.
26:10Have you been expelled?
26:11I've got an ex here.
26:13Mr. Mummy and Daddy forgetting about me.
26:15Not you, Tag.
26:16Called her hitchhiking from Cotter's Station.
26:18I'm so sorry.
26:19You're OK?
26:20Your father where I left him?
26:22Yeah.
26:23Taking him out?
26:26Declan, we're going to lunch.
26:28But I want your opinion on a horse.
26:31Is Mummy still in bed, too?
26:33No.
26:33She left before I got up.
26:36Jamie!
26:38Jamie!
26:43I think you're just here.
26:46Keep the change, yeah?
26:59It's not like you to be, Annie.
27:02I've missed you.
27:07Oh, it's very tempting.
27:09But I actually have something else in mind.
27:21Henry Hampshire spotted him the other day.
27:25Alan doesn't realize how good his bloodline is.
27:27His grand style is a marvel.
27:30Look how long the legs are.
27:32Is that what you look for?
27:34Well, this age one is still a bit gangly.
27:37Awkward.
27:37A bit of an ugly gelding, but you can see the swan he'll grow into him.
27:42Sometimes you can just tell by the eyes.
27:48Well, to be said for a pair of kind, honest eyes.
27:54What's his name?
27:56Mmm, Venturer.
27:57Hmm.
28:00Yeah.
28:00Sold.
28:01Alan?
28:02Oh, take him off your hands.
28:03See what I can do with him.
28:04Should we say two and a half?
28:05Sorry, Mr. Campbell Blatt.
28:07I've just had an offer I can't afford to refuse.
28:09What the fuck?
28:11Freddy!
28:11Sorry, Root.
28:12Didn't know it was you.
28:14Hampshire tipped me off.
28:15He was going on the low side.
28:16I don't like doing things on the cheap, so I've offered him five grand.
28:19What?
28:20I've always wanted a racehorse.
28:25Unless you fancy a syndicate.
28:32You know, she thinks you're a very bad man.
28:38Is she a good judge of character?
28:40She's had practice.
28:41She's been judging my character since we were 15.
28:4315?
28:44Yeah, she's a good girl.
28:45She's stuck by me for a thick and thin.
28:46You know, I've never even had another girlfriend.
28:54His feet!
28:56Still, do you two lads make an odd couple?
29:00How did you become so friendly?
29:02Well, we met just after I moved down here,
29:04and then we got chatting after a few months,
29:06and it turns out we're allergic to the same thing.
29:11Bullshit.
29:12Paddingham!
29:13Let's not waste time on that bastard.
29:16Let's drink to the horse that brought us together today.
29:20Er, Ventura.
29:23Ventura!
29:41I got it from Littlewoods.
29:44Like it?
29:45I didn't know you were a contestant.
29:47Hi, everyone.
29:47Ready for the final rehearsal?
29:49First position.
29:50Cameron.
29:51Cameron.
29:52Reverend Penny's car hasn't arrived,
29:53and Rutshire cabs can't get to him for at least an hour.
29:56What?
29:57Penny is our most important judge.
29:58We need him here now.
29:59I could get him.
30:02I had a car.
30:03Take mine.
30:05Hi.
30:06Hello.
30:06Hi, everyone.
30:07Hello.
30:08Hello, ladies.
30:10Looking forward to getting to know you all.
30:11Can I show you my special talent?
30:13Er, quite.
30:14I loved your interview with Mrs. Satcher.
30:17So caring.
30:18Thank you so much, Miss, um, Bisley.
30:21Oh, my God.
30:24Oh, my God.
30:35Penny, Penny, Penny, Penny.
30:37Good Lord, Sarah.
30:38Bloody hell.
30:39I'm so thrilled to be one of the final six contestants.
30:42Do you think there's a chance I might take home the crown tonight?
30:51Well, Miss Cotterster,
30:54that depends on your special talent.
30:59Doesn't it?
31:28What can I do?
31:29I can't leave.
31:30Leave him.
31:31He's not worth it.
31:32If I didn't have a truly gargantuan mortgage, I...
31:37Fuck that mortgage.
31:39I will tell him where to stick his beauty contest.
31:42Jesus, what time is it?
31:44It's just gone five.
31:45What?
31:46I'm supposed to be judging Miss Carinium.
31:59That field, uh, just...
32:01Just up ahead there.
32:03Uh, pull in there, Charles.
32:04I promised my producer I'd be as quick as possible.
32:07Just here, just here.
32:09Miss Carinium has a beautiful view you should see.
32:13Great.
32:14Let's go straight away again from the top, please, girls.
32:16Cue playback.
32:18And five, six, seven, eight.
32:21Smiling.
32:25Someone's on the rock here.
32:28Sir, it's very lovely, but we're already late.
32:32Um, we should go.
32:34What did you say her name was, dear?
32:36Daisy, sir.
32:37Daisy.
32:51Andy Hopkins thought that spring was rejoicing in life's juices.
32:58What do you think, Daisy?
33:00Well, I think that...
33:02No!
33:11Please!
33:13Stop!
33:15Ah!
33:16Ah!
33:20Ah!
33:21Ah!
33:21Oh, oh, oh, oh.
33:32Ah!
33:37Hold it there.
33:41Whose idea was the big number?
33:44Daisy's.
33:45It's not hard-bad.
33:46Well done, Daisy.
33:52Come on, girl, we're late.
34:06I mean, that golden duck at the Oval.
34:10Oh, look at that in history.
34:11Oh, you're too kind.
34:13I'm trying to make me the same color as James Berger.
34:15Welcome to the Cotswolds.
34:17Sandra, a little bit of that translucent powder is probably best.
34:21Cameron Cook.
34:22Control her programs.
34:24Stole her from the Yanks.
34:25Most talented woman I've ever met.
34:26And all doubted.
34:27Make sure Wesley gets star treatment.
34:29He is one of my all-time cricketing heroes.
34:31This way, you're an ace.
34:33Ah, Reverend.
34:34So glad you made it.
34:35Trust my staff have taken good care of you.
34:37Oh, indeed they have, Tony.
34:39And from what I've seen so far,
34:41the franchise is safe.
34:42Oh, so pleased to have your support, Fergus.
34:45Now, I've got to get a show on the road.
34:46Drink's on me afterwards, yes?
34:47Oh, good.
34:52What a nice idea.
34:58Okay, come on.
34:59Come on.
35:03There you go.
35:09Who did this to you?
35:11You have to tell me who it was.
35:14Silence only protects the monster who did this.
35:16I promise you.
35:18I will make them pay.
35:25If you don't report him, dear,
35:28what about all the other innocent girls
35:29he might prey on next?
35:36I offered to drive to help with your bid.
35:41Please don't be cross with me.
35:43You've done nothing wrong.
35:44No one's going to be angry with you.
35:57It was the Reverend Penny.
36:14You said you didn't lead him on.
36:20You're such a friendly girl.
36:25No, I...
36:29I was really professional.
36:48You know Reverend Penny's very important to us, don't you?
36:55I know you're a team player.
36:59Valued member of the Carinian family.
37:04So...
37:06Let's forget this whole thing ever happened, don't you think?
37:15That's a good girl.
37:17You're gonna go far here.
37:19I'm sure Miss Madden will help.
37:23Tally yourself up.
37:25Good girl.
37:29Sorry, it's a wardrobe head.
37:34All this talk of equal rights.
37:37Nothing really changes.
37:39One rule for them, one for us.
37:44Did I spoil everything for the bid?
37:48Not at all.
37:50He'll get off scot-free.
37:52He won't think he's done a thing wrong.
37:58This terrible thing which has happened to you is your secret.
38:04It's also your weapon.
38:07Use it to get what you want from them.
38:10Do you hear me?
38:12Don't be sad.
38:13Be angry.
38:15You'll serve you better, dear.
38:26You can lead a horse to water, Seb.
38:29Declan.
38:29Declan.
38:33Daisy.
38:34Nice dress.
38:38Daisy.
38:39Daisy, what's wrong?
38:41What's happening, Joyce?
38:43Daisy.
38:44Daisy, wait.
38:45Daisy.
38:46Daisy.
38:46Daisy, what's wrong?
38:49From the Welsh borders to the dreaming spires of Austen.
38:53From Southampton to Stratford-upon-Avon.
38:55Live from Rochester, this is Miss Carina.
38:59And here are your hosts, Jane Velika and Sarah Stratton.
39:05All right, here we go. Showtime.
39:09Caitlin, it's starting.
39:10Good evening. Good evening. Thank you.
39:13I've got popcorn.
39:17The girls waiting backstage this evening are gems, are they not?
39:21They certainly are, James.
39:22Two minutes left of intro.
39:24Especially being a bit of a sparkler myself.
39:27Standby audience cutaways on three.
39:30You're an absolute Bobby Dazzler.
39:32Your husband is a very lucky man.
39:34Sarah's looking sensational, I think.
39:36One lucky lady.
39:37All mine, of course.
39:38Only because she's already been everyone else's.
39:41But she will also win a screen test to become our new tea-time weather girl.
39:47Standby judges cut your ways on, too.
39:49But before we meet our contestants, let's meet our judging panel.
39:52First up, it's demon bowler and local cricketing hero, Wesley Emerson.
40:00And then, of course, there's Carinium's very own Declan O'Hara.
40:08Back in the saddle today after his brief indisposition earlier in the week.
40:12And here to ensure we're all behaving ourselves, ex-prepandry from the Church of England,
40:17Reverend Fergus Penny.
40:23Please give a big round of applause for our judging panel.
40:33Miss Chipping Sodbury is 21 years old.
40:36She's training to be a driving instructor.
40:38She looks so pretty.
40:39But in her spare time, enjoys breeding miniature poodles.
40:42Oh, dear creature in Miss Chipping Sodbury's care.
40:45Last Friday, we danced against Rugbra and one lot of boys took some fifth formers up in the garage roof.
40:49And they were smoking and drinking and telling the teachers to fuck off.
40:54Oh, and the gym mistress found three condoms in the rhododendrons.
40:58That's nice.
40:59Coming wet.
41:02But we've, it's nicer.
41:03Hey?
41:05Shut up.
41:07Three, three, hold the two short.
41:10Four.
41:11Take the close-ups.
41:12It's going really well.
41:13First up, is Miss Cotchester spinning her way into our hearts?
41:18You're doing this?
41:30I'm not.
41:31Isn't she good?
41:32I am NOT.
41:34Come on, check your body, baby, do that conch.
41:36I know you can't get tears of any longer.
41:38Feel the rhythm, of the music getting stronger.
41:40Don't you party, until you try to do the conch.
41:42I'm getting stronger.
41:48Miss Wooten Under Edge is a fabulous 5 foot 7 inches tall, and it's a full 33, 25, 36.
42:05Now, judges, Miss Bezos stands at an elegant 5 foot 4, her measurements are 36, 24, 36.
42:12Some might describe her as perfection itself.
42:26Reverend Penny, are you looking for perfection tonight?
42:29Oh, well, perfection is not my concern.
42:32The qualities that I'm looking for in the inaugural Miss Carinium consists of a healthy body and sound morals.
42:41You filthy, hypocritical old kiss.
42:50What the fuck is he doing? Cut the feed.
42:53Cut the feed.
42:56Jesus H. Christ, I only left the house for a minute.
42:59What just happened?
43:00Oh, my God, Mommy.
43:08We'll get what's coming, dear.
43:15Digi, answer the phone.
43:16He's ruined everything.
43:18Answer the phone.
43:21Do it!
43:42You let that religious fraud get away with raping one of your employees.
43:48And then you parade all those young girls in front of him like a fucking menu.
43:56I am out of this cesspit for good.
44:01You flouted my authority at every opportunity, but I'm not sure we can let you go just yet.
44:08Don't touch me!
44:11How does it feel, Tony?
44:13Huh?
44:14How does it feel to be weak and helpless?
44:18Or have you locked up for GBH?
44:19I be freer inside than ever will be working for you.
44:26Fuck you.
44:28I quit.
44:31Oh, it's so melodramatic.
44:33You missed your calling.
44:34Well, enjoy the morning papers.
44:37You should probably let Mort know she's going to be a star again.
44:43I don't wait for the love of every day.
45:01Bloody hell.
45:04I'd hate to see what he does with a driver.
45:14Are you okay?
45:19Can I give you a lift somewhere?
45:23You should call the police, Daisy.
45:27Report that sick bastard.
45:32She told you.
45:38And that's why you hit him.
45:42I didn't need your help, Declan.
45:46I'm sorry, Daisy.
45:48I just...
45:55Daisy.
45:58Why couldn't you have kept your mouth shut?
46:10I just quit my job.
46:13Get in the car, lads.
46:15Let's get rat-assed.
46:21As I say, Declan O'Hara will be strongly dealt with in the coming days.
46:25Very publicly, too.
46:26Good.
46:28Whilst I don't hold with vengeance,
46:31there's no place for violence and vulgarity on our screens.
46:34No.
46:34No.
46:34You have my word, Fergus.
46:38Deidre.
46:39Deidre.
46:40Deidre.
46:40Deidre.
46:40Please make sure the Reverend Penny gets home safely.
46:43Yes, Lord Buddingham.
46:45Go to a minicamp, Deidre.
46:49Bye, Fergus.
46:51Bye, Tony.
46:59I'll get the glaziers in.
47:02Have this delivered to B.D. Johnson at the Scorpion from an anonymous source.
47:11There's Madden.
47:13Joyce!
47:16Has anyone been in my office?
47:18Not to my knowledge.
47:21Fuck!
47:32Is he dead?
47:33He will be when Mummy's done with him.
47:49Oh!
47:54Oh, fuck.
48:12I don't want to be that woman who's...
48:15waiting for her husband to come home.
48:17It's...
48:19It's not me.
48:26I need to go back to work.
48:27Well, that's good, because I resigned last night.
48:31It'll be easier for you if we go back to London.
48:40I saw Mallory.
48:43I...
48:44I asked him if I could audition for his new show.
48:49I mean, there's nothing in it for me.
48:51I'm too old.
48:54I'm sorry, look.
48:57You should have told me.
49:01What happened to us?
49:06We...
49:07fix it?
49:21Who the fuck is that?
49:26Oh...
49:34Is Tony trying to hound me into the grave?
49:36He doesn't know I'm here.
49:38I shouldn't have told you about Daisy.
49:40Oh.
49:42I'd probably have hit the old pervert anyway.
49:52Sometimes Lord Baddingham needs a bit of help
49:54to steer the right course.
50:07Gertrude!
50:09Gertrude!
50:10Oh, come back!
50:12Gertrude!
50:19You all right?
50:22Can I walk with you?
50:24No, you can't.
50:25I asked for your help
50:26and you got him drunk
50:27and let him implode on live television.
50:29He's a grown man, Taggy.
50:30God, we are in so much debt.
50:31We can't afford the mortgage
50:32without Daddy working.
50:34Mummy's already packing.
50:35What are you talking about?
50:38This is the only place
50:40I have ever loved.
50:41And now we have to leave.
50:43He's Declan and O'Hara.
50:45Now find another job.
50:48Not here.
50:50Gertrude, come on.
50:56You know, I could have told you
50:57you and Declan were never going to work out.
51:00Neither of you could bear not being big dog.
51:03So I'm my big dog now.
51:04You're the last dog standing.
51:07So what do we do now?
51:10We have to put something out there.
51:13Oh, no, an apology.
51:14Oh, God, no.
51:16He's the one who threw all the punches.
51:18It's not your fault he can't handle provocation.
51:23And of course,
51:25he's also the one
51:27with the drinking problem.
51:29Mm-hmm.
51:31Oh, very good.
51:34Mm-hmm.
51:36Yeah.
52:00Turn it off.
52:01And mental disturbance.
52:02Your father, you have your voice.
52:06Where is he?
52:20No, it looks so grim.
52:22Frederico and I have a brilliant new plan.
52:24No offense, but I'll give it a miss.
52:26One afternoon with you lads nearly finished me off.
52:28Yeah, we're going back to London.
52:30Sorry, Mould.
52:30We can't let you.
52:31It's business.
52:32Can't let a hot property go to waste.
52:33We're starting a production company
52:35and you're going to run it.
52:37Partnership.
52:39We're going to work together.
52:40It'll be fun.
52:41We trust you on the creative stuff.
52:44Sorry lads, but I can't.
52:45Why not?
52:47You'll be your own master.
52:48Now you want it.
52:51Because I think we should pitch for the franchise.
52:56But that'd mean the mother of all takeovers.
53:01Drive Tony Paddingham out of town once and for all.
53:05I think we've got it in us.
53:07Don't you?
53:09Don't you?
53:17Don't you?
53:20Don't you?
53:23Don't you?
53:24Don't you?
53:26Don't you?
53:26Don't you?
53:27Don't you?
53:28Don't you?
53:28Don't you?
53:29Don't you?
53:29Don't you?
53:29Don't you?
53:30Don't you?
53:30Don't you?
53:31Don't you?
53:31Don't you?
53:33Don't you?
53:37Don't you?
53:38Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.
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