- 4 hours ago
centuru
Category
🎥
Short filmTranscript
00:03Now, first, shuffle the cards.
00:05Oh, shuffle, right.
00:14Let's skip shuffling, shall we?
00:18All right, now we each get a card face down.
00:25Now, wait a minute.
00:26If your card is face down, I can't tell what it is.
00:32That's the whole point.
00:33The whole point of what?
00:37Never mind.
00:38Now, we each get a card face up.
00:39How come?
00:40Stop asking questions.
00:42Just do whatever I tell you.
00:43Okay.
00:46All right, hit me.
00:47What?
00:48Hit me.
00:55Eugene.
01:01What did you do that for?
01:03You said hit me.
01:04I didn't mean for you to hit me.
01:05Then why did you say it?
01:07Because I want another card.
01:08Then why did you say, Eugene, I want another card?
01:13I would have given you one.
01:17Hey, Booch.
01:20Los Booches.
01:22Los Moron.
01:24Listen up.
01:26I come bearing gifts.
01:28Freshly made.
01:29Hot off the press.
01:30Genuine.
01:31Fake IDs.
01:33Great.
01:34All right.
01:36Look at this.
01:37I'm 22 and I'm from Bangor, Maine.
01:40I'm from Miami and I'm in the Air Force.
01:43Yeah, you're a full colonel.
01:45Way to go, Booch.
01:46You really came through for us.
01:47No problem.
01:49Hey, how's it coming from your van?
01:50Great.
01:50I called Lucky 7 Motel and reserved their best room.
01:53Bus tickets?
01:53Right here.
01:54Along with a coupon for a free pecan roll at Stucky's.
01:58How's everybody doing inexcused upon me?
02:00I told my mother, Mrs. Bernice Blooberman, that my old Boy Scout troop was having an emotion-packed, tearful reunion
02:09this weekend.
02:10She bought that?
02:11Yeah, but by lying to my mother, I broke in the Blooberman code of honesty, which is crocheted on a
02:17kitchen towel and hangs in our rec room.
02:21I'm feeling plenty guilty.
02:24You want to know how to get over that feeling?
02:26Sure.
02:27How?
02:27Just think about the possibility that while you were in Vegas, you can have your first sexual experience.
02:42So anyway, Booch, what'd you tell your father?
02:46Eh, nothing.
02:47He won a case of champagne in a raffle so he won't know I'm gone till Wednesday.
02:53Man, I don't know what I'm gonna tell my mom.
02:55Yeah, you're gonna need something good to fool her.
02:57She's like an actual parent.
02:59Tell me about it.
03:06More meatloaf, honey?
03:08Oh, no thanks.
03:09Oh, I usually have seconds of my meatloaf.
03:12Oh, not tonight.
03:16Something wrong?
03:18No, I'm fine.
03:20Ah.
03:24Something is wrong.
03:26I never could fool you, Mom.
03:30Talk to me, Chaz.
03:32Well, it's just that here we are in this big house eating all this food when there are a lot
03:37of people out there who are going without.
03:39I'm talking about the homeless, the jobless, the meatloaf-less.
03:46I know it.
03:47It bothers me, too.
03:49Well, the thing is, I want to devote my life to changing things.
03:56Chaz, that's wonderful.
03:57I'm so proud of you.
03:59Really?
04:00Yes.
04:00Great.
04:01Then I'll become a priest.
04:02No.
04:03Why not?
04:05Well, for one thing, you're not even Catholic.
04:11I know.
04:12I have a long road ahead of me.
04:17Where does this come from?
04:19What makes you think you have the calling?
04:22Real late last night, right after Crosswitz,
04:28something drew me to my bedroom window.
04:30What was it?
04:31A beautiful white light shining over the shell station.
04:37And as the light rose, I heard beautiful rhythmic singing.
04:42Chaz, that's the Cuban discotheque.
04:50Maybe.
04:52Maybe not.
04:53But how do you explain the incredible feeling that surged through my body?
04:58The five helpings of lasagna ate last night.
05:05Sorry, Chaz, but this is a hard thing for me to grasp.
05:08I know.
05:08I'm struggling with it, too.
05:10That's why I need to be sure I'm making the right decision.
05:13There's a place for people like me.
05:14It's a retreat for those who are thinking of serving the church.
05:18The Lucky 7th Seminary.
05:21How long do you think you'll be there?
05:23Three days, two nights.
05:27You pray, meditate, read scrolls, make sandals.
05:33I see.
05:34So can I go, Mom?
05:38Well, uh...
05:39Okay.
05:41Great, thanks.
05:42But I think I should go with you.
05:43Why?
05:44Well, it seems so interesting.
05:48You know, I've never been to a religious retreat before.
05:52You can't go, Mom.
05:53Why not?
05:54Uh, because it's all guys.
05:57And they've taken vows of celibacy.
05:59If they see a knockout like you, all those years of good behavior, right out the window.
06:07Uh-huh.
06:09Chaz.
06:09I'll call you as soon as I get there.
06:11Right now, I need to pack a few simple belongings.
06:15Why do I get the feeling he won't end up a priest, but that he will end up in confession?
06:27Welcome to Vegas, fellas.
06:29And the Lucky 7 Motel.
06:56This is our motel room?
06:57Yes.
06:58This is the Sonny Bono suite.
07:02He slept here?
07:04Well, no, but he stopped by once and asked for directions.
07:08By the way, it's true.
07:10He does have a large nose.
07:13I'm confused.
07:14Your brochure has a picture of a beautiful hotel with palm trees and girls in bikinis.
07:19That's Caesar's Palace.
07:23You see this satellite dish in the background?
07:26Yeah.
07:27We're a block behind it.
07:31Now listen very carefully, gentlemen.
07:34Uh, the truck sleeps three.
07:41Your own television set.
07:43Fifteen minutes for a quarter.
07:46You want magic fingers?
07:49Start the engine.
07:51But leave the garage door open.
07:56Otherwise, you'll die.
08:09Hello?
08:10Hello, Mom.
08:11I'm at the Lucky 7 Seminary.
08:13Oh, good.
08:13Give me the phone number.
08:15You want home lumber?
08:17What are you, building something?
08:21Chaz, the phone number.
08:23A bone bumper.
08:26Uh, we must have a bad connection.
08:28I gotta go.
08:29I don't want to be late for Vespers.
08:31Coming, Brother Matthew.
08:34Chaz!
08:35Bless you, Mom.
08:37Mom.
08:48The Lucky 7 Motel?
08:53Well, I think I'm getting the calling myself.
08:58All right, let's go.
09:00Yeah, all right.
09:01Hey, what's the matter?
09:03I'm lying to my mom like that.
09:05It's one thing to tell a little white lie.
09:08But to tell her that I'm at a religious retreat when I'm really in Las Vegas,
09:12eh, makes you feel kind of low, huh?
09:14The lowest.
09:16Well, I'll get over it.
09:39Oh, my wife!
10:03Good evening, gentlemen.
10:04Oh, hi.
10:05Nice break, Ben.
10:05Hey, uh, it's looking great.
10:07Do you mind showing me some ID?
10:09Yeah.
10:10Take a look at this puppy.
10:15Yours, sir.
10:16I understand.
10:18You know, it's a curse to have such a young face.
10:20Everywhere I go, can I see your ID?
10:21Can I see your ID?
10:22I look young.
10:23I don't know why.
10:24I also know why I'm talking so much.
10:26Except, you look lonely.
10:29Thank you, sir.
10:31Oh, no, no.
10:36Very good.
10:37Thank you, Colonel Blooperman.
10:42At ease, soldier.
10:46Man, is this place great or what?
10:49Yeah, it's boring.
10:50Now, Circus Circus has trapeze acts and dancing bears.
10:54And they'll paint your face like a real-life clown for free.
11:00Well, let's kill some time in this boring place first, okay?
11:04Yeah, we'll take you to see the dancing bear later.
11:08Black check.
11:09My kind of gig.
11:12Hi.
11:13Deal us in.
11:14I'm sorry, sir, but you can't bet a nickel.
11:19How come?
11:20Minimum bet is $2.
11:22Two bucks?
11:23Pretty darn steep.
11:26Come on.
11:27High roller.
11:28Loosen up.
11:32Hit me.
11:35Bust.
11:36Two bucks shot in less than a minute.
11:37That's money I'll never see again.
11:39God, history.
11:39Our kinds.
11:42I'm glad you didn't bet three bucks.
11:44Coin, sir?
11:46Okay.
11:48Hit me.
11:50Hit me.
11:53Hit me.
11:55Hit me.
11:58Hit me.
12:01What have you got, Eugene?
12:0448.
12:08Dealer.
12:09But isn't 48 even better than 21?
12:13No.
12:13Eugene, you can't go past 21.
12:16I didn't know that.
12:18Isn't that a do-over?
12:20Don't I get my money back?
12:22No.
12:24Stable's ice cold.
12:25Let's leave.
12:27Guys, it seems like a waste of time to me.
12:29I want to go to Circus Circus.
12:32Eugene, if you want to go to Circus Circus, why don't you just leave, leave?
12:36Okay.
12:38I'll win a couple of stuffed bunnies for you.
12:40Can't wait.
12:42You know anything about craps, Pooch?
12:44Yeah, sure.
12:45It's like dice, only you don't play in an alley.
12:49Let's go for it.
12:53New shooter?
12:53New shooter coming out.
12:55Okay, watch it.
12:55Throwing action.
12:58All right.
13:0015 bucks on the line.
13:02Come on, babe.
13:03Poochie needs some new leather.
13:06Nine, nine to field.
13:08Nine, nine to win.
13:09What's that mean?
13:09I threw nine, so I got to throw another nine again to win.
13:13Aha.
13:14If you throw a 7-11 on your first throw, you win automatic.
13:17If you throw any other number, you got to throw it again to win.
13:20Except if you throw a 2-3-12, which means you'll lose.
13:24Sounds simple.
13:27Seven, a loser.
13:29It is simple.
13:30Try again.
13:32Okay, I feel lucky this time.
13:37Come on, seven.
13:38Come on, seven.
13:39Poochie needs a diamond earring.
13:43Snake eyes.
13:44Hey, watch it, fella.
13:45No chance.
13:47I threw a pair of ones.
13:49Snake eyes.
13:50Oh.
13:51I'm sorry.
13:52New shooter.
13:53Now is the time to make a bet.
13:55New shooter.
13:55Coming out.
13:56All right, that's me.
13:58Hey, Chaz, you don't even know how this game works.
14:00I'm a seasoned veteran, and I got no one.
14:02Yeah, you're right.
14:03Probably just be throwing money away.
14:06Seven!
14:07You got a winner here.
14:08Yeah, you won.
14:09You won.
14:09I did?
14:11Did I win that?
14:12You certainly did, sir.
14:14Can you shoot again?
14:15Should I?
14:15Yeah, why not?
14:16Go for it.
14:18Well, okay, maybe I will.
14:21But just one more time.
14:26There they go.
14:27Fuck me.
14:28Server!
14:31The arm wins again.
14:33You hear that, Chaz?
14:34They're calling you the arm.
14:37Yeah, cool it.
14:38You're the one who ruined the hot streets.
14:39All right.
14:40Yeah, speaking of hot streets.
14:43Hi, I'm Bambi.
14:46I play the Statue of Liberty in the show here at Lido de Freedom.
14:53Hi, I'm Chaz.
14:55But the folks around here call me the arm.
14:57Hey, come on, arm.
14:58You're still shooting.
14:59Let's bet another grand, Ann.
15:00Another grand.
15:01All right, come on.
15:02This one's for you, Lady Liberty?
15:04Ooh.
15:08Sarah!
15:10Sarah!
15:11Sarah!
15:12How much we won, Mooch?
15:14I don't know.
15:14I lost count of 12 grand.
15:1612 grand?
15:17Woo!
15:18All right, we want to help the states.
15:19We want to bet five grand this time.
15:20Woo!
15:21I'm sorry, sir, but the table limit is 1,000.
15:24Oh, really?
15:26Well, maybe we should go to another casino.
15:28Yeah!
15:28Yeah, one that isn't afraid to see people win.
15:31Yeah!
15:33Problem, Maurice?
15:34Uh, this gentleman wants to bet $5,000.
15:36Yeah, we're all taking all our business elsewhere, huh?
15:39Yeah!
15:40You're covered, sir.
15:44Come on, Harmon.
15:45Come on.
15:46Do it.
15:46Do it.
15:47Come on, babe.
15:48Chaz wants to go to Harvard.
15:50There we go.
15:51There we go.
15:51There we go.
15:51There we go.
15:52There we go.
15:52There we go.
15:52There we go.
15:53There we go.
15:54There we go.
15:55There we go.
15:55Yo, Maurice, what does Ford of Hardway pay?
15:58Long shot, sir.
15:59Pays eight to one.
16:01We'll go for it.
16:02We will?
16:02Yeah, yeah.
16:03Yeah, but how much, sir?
16:04Seven grand.
16:06Seven grand?
16:08Yeah, and as far as the rest of it's concerned, let it ride.
16:12All of it?
16:12All of it.
16:14And don't tell me the casino's gonna wimp out.
16:16You're covered, sir.
16:17All right!
16:19Okay, Chaz and Chaz, do it, buddy.
16:22Come on.
16:23Come on.
16:24Bambi, would you blow on this for good luck?
16:27Sure.
16:32Come on, boys.
16:33Let's do it, baby.
16:34Come on.
16:34Come on.
16:35Come on.
16:36Come on.
16:36Put him in there.
16:37Look out, boy.
16:38It's down the hard way.
16:39Come on.
16:42Come on.
16:43Come on.
16:45Boys will be boys.
16:47First, Chaz hits the jackpot.
16:49And then he really gets lucky.
16:51Can we get naked?
16:52But his luck won't last.
16:54The money's gone.
16:55It's gone.
16:56And you won't believe what Booch has to do to get it back.
16:59I died and went to heaven.
17:00Boys will be boys.
17:02Next Saturday on Fox.
17:08Later tonight on Mr. President,
17:10Madeline Kahn catches the president and his chief advisors playing strip poker.
17:14Now stay tuned for Women in Prison.
17:16next on Fox.
17:18on Fox.
17:31.
17:32.
17:34.