00:23Hello again, and if you haven't already guessed, it's Peabody and Sherman here.
00:27Say hello, Sherman. Hello. Very good. Once again, we are about to take off on another exciting
00:32journey into yesteryear. This time, our adventure concerns a very interesting figure. Lady Godiva?
00:37Sherman, control yourself. The interesting figure I'm referring to is the infamous but colorful
00:42pirate, Captain Kidd. Can I set the wayback machine, Mr. Peabody? Why not, as they say on the telly.
00:47The year is 1697, the place the high seas just off the coast of Madagascar. Although the wayback
00:53had been making strange sounds of late, it still functioned perfectly. In a fraction of an instant,
00:58we found ourselves standing on the deck of a British merchant ship. There's not a soul on deck! A quick
01:02glance told me that Sherman's observation was correct, but looking up, I found the answer.
01:06The entire crew was perched high atop the mainmast, and before our startled eyes, all but one dove into
01:11space, plunged into the sea, and rapidly swam off in the direction of the mainland. The one who remained
01:16then took his dive into space, but his aim was poor. Gee, too bad you missed the water.
01:22No, it isn't. I planned it that way. You see, I can't swim. Well, tell me, why were you and
01:27the
01:27others deserting the ship? I'm the captain. They were the crew, and we're all scared out of our wits.
01:32Scared of what, Captain? That blasted showboat heading our way. The captain had good reason to be
01:37frightened, for suddenly a cardboard false front dropped, revealing a row of ugly cannons,
01:41cannons which proceeded to fire on us. We're being attacked! Yes, and by that rogue, Captain
01:46Kidd. You must have something of value aboard, Captain. And there, standing behind the wheel,
01:51was a slot machine. It's due to hit a jackpot any second. If Kidd gets his hands on it, England
01:56will lose a fortune. We must make a run for it. And that's when a cannonball struck us at the
02:02water
02:02line, and we began to founder. Rushing wildly about the listing deck, the captain shouted,
02:06Don't panic! Keep a cool head! And we did, for at that moment we went under.
02:11Only to be scooped up out of the water by a large net. Seconds later, we stood facing Captain
02:15Kidd, Sherman, myself, the British captain. Har! Before I hit the jackpot, I'm gonna give
02:21you three swabs a chance to walk to freedom. Oh, I say that's awfully decent of you. Indecent
02:29would be closer to the truth, for the walk we were to take was along a plank that stretched
02:32out over the water, which was teeming with man-eating sharks, and a few that were dog-eaters
02:36too. Fortunately, the pirate vessel had drifted unnoticed to the shore of an island. Walk!
02:41And we did. Off the plank, onto the beach, and into the dense foliage. We expected Kidd to
02:46pursue, but all he said was, Who cares if the sharks didn't get them? They'll never get
02:50off this here deserted island. Heave ho, me arties! And with that, they sailed off into the
02:57sunset, while the captain frantically ran up and down the beach, shouting, Don't panic!
03:01Keep a cool head! Does this mean we're moroned? That's marooned, and we're not. You mean this
03:06isn't a deserted island? It's an island, all right. Manhattan Island. Five minutes later,
03:11we were inside a cab racing for LaGuardia Airport. Do you think we can get to Kidd before
03:15he hits the jackpot? If we catch the five o'clock jet, there'll be no problem at all.
03:19How do you know where to find him? Well, he has to be at one of two places, Pittsburgh
03:22or Tortuga in the Caribbean. We settled for Tortuga because we missed the jet for Pittsburgh.
03:26As for Captain Kidd, he hadn't overlooked a thing. We were not only flying in a pirate airplane,
03:31but we had a pirate pilot and a pirate stewardess. We landed in Tortuga and were immediately brought
03:35before Captain Kidd. I don't know as to how you blokes got off the island, but as soon as I
03:44hit
03:44this jackpot, I'll take care of you for keeps. Now, you're a sporting man, Captain Kidd. Would you
03:49care to make a wager? On what? On whether you hit the jackpot on the first pull. If you do,
03:54you'll get the money, and we are at your mercy. And if I don't? We get the slot machine and
03:58our freedom.
03:59Mr. Peabody! Quiet, Sherman. Not only that, I'll provide the nickel. That was the straw that broke
04:05the Captain's back. He took the coin, eagerly placed it in the slot, smiled confidently, and pulled
04:10the lever. It came to a stop on a lemon, an orange, and a grapefruit. You lose, Captain.
04:16Mr. Peabody, how did you know it would stop on a lemon, an orange, and a grapefruit?
04:20Elementary, Sherman. You can see right here on the front, it says, Made in California.
04:24Mr. Peabody, you have England's dying gratitude, or something like that.
04:30From the edge of the pier, we watched the Captain and the slot machine, which still hadn't paid
04:34off, sail happily back to England. What about Captain Kidd? He gave his promise
04:38to give up buccaneering and acquire an education. You mean he went to school?
04:41Yes, to Ohio University, where he proudly wore the school sweater with his name on it,
04:46which incidentally gave birth to a famous saying. Which saying was that?
04:49Oh, you kid.
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