00:05Oh, it tickles.
00:10Oh.
00:15Good morning.
00:17Hi.
00:24So, you ready?
00:27Yeah.
00:28Yeah?
00:30Okay.
00:31Hold on.
00:35Got a little something, something?
00:41Ooh!
00:43Um...
00:47Okay.
00:49No.
00:50Wait.
00:52That thing is huge.
00:55No, it is not, baby. Trust me.
00:57It just seems kind of kinky. You know, very like...
01:01Porno.
01:03You mean like what? Like unnatural? Like some old freaky nasty party type shit or what?
01:11I just...
01:12Babe, I didn't know toys existed until college.
01:16Oh, other than the Toys R Us kind.
01:20And I'd never really seen one until I got with you.
01:25I don't know.
01:28Um...
01:29Oh, well...
01:30Maybe that's okay.
01:33It's all right.
01:34Don't worry about it then, okay?
01:37I promise.
01:39No worries.
01:40No worries.
01:40Mm-mm.
01:43Besides, we can still...
01:48Without...
01:54Hey, lovely girl.
01:58I can't wait to see what Chad has up his sleeve.
02:00And don't you dare ruin it this time.
02:02You know how mommy likes surprises.
02:04Toodles.
02:05I see you tomorrow.
02:24Hey, baby. I'm back.
02:25Yes.
02:27Oh.
02:33All right.
02:34So...
02:35Got a bottle of Asti.
02:37Voila.
02:38And I got the Bombay Sapphire.
02:41The big bottle, okay?
02:43And they didn't have her olives, but I got these.
02:45You think they'll be okay?
02:46Yeah?
02:47Oh.
02:48Oh.
02:50Mmm.
02:52Mmm, baby.
02:56I am just so excited that we don't have to...
03:04Dee!
03:09Dee!
03:13You promised.
03:16You promised.
03:18I can't.
03:19I just can't.
03:21Baby, it has been two years.
03:23Don't you think she's caught on to something by now?
03:25Lesbians don't exist for her outside of independent films
03:29that she will probably never see unless they're up for an Oscar.
03:33Look.
03:34I know it's hard.
03:36All right? I do.
03:38But you can do this.
03:41Okay? I know you can.
03:45You are amazing.
03:48And beautiful.
03:50And you're strong.
03:53Courage in the face of fear, remember?
03:57It'll be okay.
03:59Baby, there are some things that are inappropriate to discuss with your mother.
04:05You know what? I'm through with this shit.
04:06Okay? Maybe it's not your mother that's uncomfortable with who you are.
04:12Hey, hey, hey!
04:14What's up?
04:16Oh.
04:19Oh.
04:21I thought you quit.
04:23That's the same practice you had the last time your mama was here.
04:35Patience is a virtue, but this is some bullshit.
04:37My mother would have a fucking heart attack.
04:41D.
04:42How many roommates can you really have in a studio apartment?
04:45At your age?
04:47Look, Martha Stewart went to prison.
04:49Your mama can and will survive.
04:51My mother was heartbroken about that.
04:53You know she wrote Martha letters for months.
04:54She's the first person I ever came out to and she was fine.
04:56She didn't give birth to you.
04:58Well, I think she already knew.
04:59Everyone already knew.
05:01You had Diana Ross's cover of I Will Survive on repeat for you.
05:04Alright, fine. Whatever.
05:05Point is, she was fine.
05:08And you about to fuck up the healthiest relationship you've ever had.
05:12Lisa really loves you.
05:14Clearly.
05:17What's this thing you're taking us to tomorrow?
05:19This chaos of crafting or den of beads or whatever?
05:22What time?
05:23Fine, bitch. Change the subject.
05:27Okay, don't be on no bullshit.
05:28I want it to actually be a surprise this time, alright?
05:30So I'm going to be here on time with bells on and a blindfold.
05:36Have your shit together, girl.
05:39Lisa!
06:04I'm staying at Shelly's for a while.
06:07Don't worry, I'll still do Chad's craft fair thing, but that's it.
06:11I can't do this anymore.
06:14Who's Lisa tonight? I thought she was going to join us for dinner.
06:24Mom.
06:25Anne.
06:31Nothing.
06:36Okay.
06:37That's good.
06:39Don't forget to wrap.
06:44Okay.
06:45Alright, alright. Be careful stepping out, okay?
06:48We're here.
06:49Watch your head, watch your head, watch your head.
06:51Am I ready?
06:51Okay, action, action.
06:53Step forward.
06:55Hold me, hold me.
06:56You got me?
06:56It's a little uneven.
06:58Oh, watch out now.
07:00Don't say all this is a surprise.
07:02Thank you very much.
07:03Alright.
07:03I'm going in the door.
07:07Watch your step.
07:08Okay.
07:10Yeah, so, it's kind of dark, right?
07:15Yeah.
07:19Chad.
07:20Yeah.
07:29I can take this thing off now.
07:31No.
07:32No, no, no.
07:36Lisa.
07:37What?
07:38I'm sorry, but come on.
07:40You've got to admit this.
07:41Sure.
07:42Look at this.
07:42Oh my goodness, Mary.
07:43This is not.
07:44I'm so sorry.
07:44I did not.
07:45This was not what I thought it was.
07:47Something.
07:48Oh, wow.
07:48I didn't even know you could pierce that.
07:52This is definitely the most interesting crap there I have ever been to.
07:57Chad, you said this was a beating convention.
08:00It is.
08:01Didn't it beat?
08:02Oh, bleeds.
08:03I thought that was a typo.
08:04I thought that was a typo.
08:05Yeah?
08:06Oh my god.
08:07No, no, no.
08:07Definitely not.
08:09Little leather legs.
08:11Yes.
08:11Santa Barbara, 2009.
08:14A couple paddles.
08:15Oh, those diamond handcuffs?
08:17Wheel of pain.
08:18Oh, no, no, no.
08:19I know you remember the Wheel of Pain.
08:22I'm certainly not going to forget what happened that night.
08:23You must be mistaken.
08:24I do apologize.
08:26I'm so sorry, Mom.
08:28I'm sorry.
08:29I must have you confused for someone else.
08:32No problem.
08:33Baby, she doesn't remember us.
08:36She remembers us.
08:38What?
08:38I'm sorry.
08:38I'm sorry.
08:43Yes, definitely.
08:45Come on.
08:45Peter!
08:46I wasn't expecting you until tomorrow.
08:48Look, I got a new cat and nine tails.
08:50Professor Montrose?
08:54Surprise.
08:56Well, honey, come on.
08:58It's simply not something appropriate to discuss with one's child.
09:01I mean...
09:04Oh, my God.
09:04People are telling the truth with the paddles and the handcuffs and...
09:09Oh, God.
09:10That wheel.
09:11Oh, give me a break.
09:12You eat pussy.
09:13Oh!
09:14What?
09:15Come on, honey.
09:16How many roommates can you have in a studio?
09:18And at your age?
09:19Thank you!
09:23I'm gonna be sick.
09:27Look, honey, I know all that's not for me.
09:30Look, it never did make me any nevermind, but you seemed uncomfortable, so I just never
09:34said anything.
09:41I was.
09:43Mm-hmm.
09:46Well, since the cat's out of the bag, so to speak, we might as well have some fun.
09:52You kids run along.
09:53I'll catch up with you later.
09:55Mother!
09:56Girl, I'm grown.
09:58Ain't nobody's business if I do.
10:01Don't wait up.
10:03Okay, mama.
10:05That's amazing.
10:06That is amazing.
10:07I don't know if I'd call it amazing, but...
10:09Your mother has...
10:10This is crazy.
10:12Never saw that coming.
10:13I mean, look.
10:14Oh!
10:15Is that Kevin?
10:16Kevin!
10:17Oh!
10:19Wow.
10:20Quite a night.
10:27I love you so much.
10:32I love you too.
10:34I'm sorry.
10:37It's okay.
10:38I understand.
10:39Oh!
10:461024-
10:461 damage.
10:52I'm captivated, mesmerized by your eyes.
10:55Saw you glanced at me and kinda look shy.
10:57I think you're sexy and you got a nice swagger
11:00We can compliment each other, but make it after
11:03We kiss cause I like love, bein' adventurous
11:05I'll place my two fingers across your sexy lips
11:08Shh, don't speak, let's clean vibes
11:11We don't need to talk, we can talk with our eyes
11:14Yeah, I know, that's what your eyes said
11:16You'd like to come over and see my big bed
11:19I got set in sheets, would you like to touch em?
11:22The white and the soft, I'm sure that you love em
11:25You wanna take a test, drive in my ride
11:27In the passenger seat, I'll give you a glass of wine
11:30Turn the engine up, rev it up, it's time to go
11:33My love machine is bigger, but it starts up slow
11:36Hey sexy baby, wanna make you mine
11:38If you're trapped for forever, then at least come back
11:41I'm a sucker for your energy, come over to my house and feel my
11:45I said, hey sexy baby, wanna make you mine
11:49If you're trapped for forever, then at least come back
11:52I'm a sucker for your energy, come over to my house and feel my
11:58It's spinning around the world, never runs out of gas
12:01When you push it to the limit, it can go really fast
12:03Would you like to come along and drive cross country to interior?
12:08Yeah, it's pretty funk, yeah, we can go explore
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