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- #malcolm
#Malcolm
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00:03Sous-titrage Société Radio-Canada
00:30If you'll excuse me, there's someone at the door.
01:00Life is unfair.
01:37Don't be scared, but there's a big spider next to you.
01:40Yeah, Dad.
01:40There's always a spider on Bacon Day.
01:43You know, I'm not feeling that good.
01:45I could give Dad some of mine, but that's not really in the true spirit of Bacon Day.
01:49Mom, my stomach hurts.
01:51So is mine.
01:52I'm not kidding.
01:53It's really sore.
01:54Ow, it hurts.
01:55Shut up, Reese.
01:57Mom.
01:57I see spots.
01:59Mommy!
01:59All right, that's enough.
02:01I don't care what test you didn't study for or what assignment you didn't do.
02:04You're going to school.
02:05You know, now that you mention it...
02:07Everybody's going.
02:11Sir, what are you doing?
02:12Why are you taking away our TV?
02:14It's for your own good, cadet.
02:15But that is the only thing that makes this place bearable.
02:18Television rots the mind, cadet.
02:21How can you focus on your studies and improve your character if your brain is full of your
02:26morcs and your mindies?
02:28Now you'll have time for more worthwhile endeavors.
02:31Write a letter.
02:32I'm sure your parole officers will appreciate the personal touch.
02:36Okay, that is ridiculous.
02:38I mean, we should do something.
02:40He's right.
02:41Spangler doesn't get to make arbitrary decisions about our lives.
02:44He can't tell us where to go and what to do.
02:47Oh, wait.
02:48He can.
02:49Face it, Francis.
02:50We're like prisoners, but without the rights.
02:52Okay, so we're helpless.
02:54But even helpless people have options.
02:57History is full of supposedly powerless people who found a way to stand up to their oppressors.
03:03What are you talking about?
03:04Civil disobedience.
03:06You know, like a hunger strike.
03:08We could do that.
03:09I mean, he doesn't want a bunch of starving kids on his hands.
03:12That would totally work.
03:13I don't know.
03:14Isn't that a bit drastic?
03:15Can't we wait till after lunch?
03:16What are we having?
03:17Shepherd's pie.
03:18The strike starts now!
03:20The strike starts now!
03:23Malcolm, why are you walking like that?
03:25My side still hurts.
03:26But it's the weekend.
03:33Okay, everybody, get in the car!
03:35We're going to the hospital!
03:40Mom, why does that man have a life all obstinate?
03:42Dewey!
03:43Get away from there!
03:46Dad, are you okay?
03:47I'm fine, son.
03:47I'm just not a big fan of hospitals.
03:50Only they could dress it up with plants and pictures.
03:52But let's face it, this place is a slaughterhouse.
03:55Cal!
03:56Okay, we've run some tests.
03:58His white count is 12.2, and with these acute abdominal pains, I'm pretty sure we're looking
04:03at appendicitis.
04:05We'll hold him for observation tonight, and then tomorrow he'll probably need surgery.
04:09I'm having surgery?
04:10There's nothing to worry about, son.
04:12You'll barely even have a scar.
04:14If you can just sign these release forms, we'll check them in.
04:18They're going to cut you open?
04:19Like a trout.
04:21Don't worry, you won't feel a thing.
04:22You'll be unconscious.
04:23Not necessarily.
04:24I saw this thing on TV where this guy woke up in the middle of his operation and could
04:29feel everything they were doing.
04:30But he was paralyzed and couldn't even scream.
04:34Freeze, for the love of God, stop talking!
04:36Mom, honey, don't worry about it.
04:38You're going to have your own TV.
04:40You're going to have people to wait on you.
04:41It's going to be a lot better than being at home.
04:46Why do I have to stay in the kids' ward?
04:48I'm sorry, honey, but you're six months too young to have an adult room.
04:51I hear if you're really good, they'll put apple juice in your sippy cup.
04:56Dad, do you want to wait out in the car?
05:00Nope.
05:00I'm okay.
05:01I'm fine.
05:03I'm on a beach.
05:05There's the surf.
05:06There's sand.
05:08There's needles.
05:10There's the horrible choking stench of hospital antiseptic...
05:13Hal!
05:14Coming.
05:15I think I better take your father home.
05:17You'll be okay.
05:22Hey, feel better, Spartan.
05:25Reese, give your brother a hug.
05:27Oh, Mom!
05:28Do it!
05:31If you tell anyone I hugged you, I'll put you right back in here.
05:36Bye!
05:39Why did you make him hug me?
05:42Wait.
05:43Why did you make him hug me?
05:47Wow.
05:47She was quiet without Malcolm here.
05:49Mm.
05:49Poor little guy.
05:51There's an extra pork chop.
05:52Bye!
05:55Go ahead.
05:55I'm stuffed.
05:56Me too.
05:57So am I.
05:58I was just hoping someone would invite me for it.
06:02Hey, can we play March and Conquer?
06:04That game's no fun.
06:06Malcolm always creams us in like five minutes.
06:09Yeah, can we?
06:11I don't know.
06:13Please?
06:14We need at least three people if we can't play.
06:17Oh, all right.
06:19Hypers!
06:20Okay, Lois, let's see how well you defend the Black Sea without Bosporus and the Dardanelles.
06:25Yeah, yeah, yeah, just wait.
06:27Wow, it's been an hour and I'm still in the game.
06:30I usually tip the board over way before now.
06:33Guess what?
06:34We look just like the family on the box.
06:36Oh, yeah.
06:38Can I be the little girl?
06:39Not on my watch, son.
06:47You want to play go fish?
06:49No.
06:50I didn't want to play five minutes ago.
06:53I didn't want to play an hour ago.
06:56I don't want to play.
07:00You got any fives?
07:03And this is our inflamed appendix.
07:06The patient arrived today complaining of abdominal pain in the right lower quadrant.
07:11Ow.
07:12We're going to have to start him in an IV.
07:14Catherine?
07:15Oh, God.
07:16Not me again.
07:17Please.
07:18It'll be fine this time, Catherine.
07:20Accidents happen.
07:21Could maybe someone else...
07:22Talmud will hold him still.
07:32If you feel pain,
07:34you can bite down on his hand
07:36just as hard as you want.
07:38Talmud won't lie.
07:45How long has it been since we ate?
07:4733 hours, 12 minutes.
07:50Oh, man.
07:51They're serving dinner right now.
07:53Ben Hutt!
07:57I found myself eating the last several meals alone.
08:02Are we dieting?
08:04Don't tell me it's prom season already.
08:06We're on a hunger strike, sir.
08:08We're not eating until you return the television.
08:11Ah.
08:13Passive resistance.
08:15The last resort of slackers and sissies.
08:18What about Gandhi?
08:20Sissie.
08:20Sissie.
08:21We're making a stand here, sir.
08:23We will not back down until we get justice.
08:26Now, let me see if I've got this straight.
08:28I get to continue to eat, but you don't.
08:32Ooh, I feel the pressure already.
08:36Ah-ha-ha!
08:38I'll make it stop.
09:01I'm sorry.
09:07Let's go.
16:52OK, merci, anyway !
17:24I know you're frightened, and that is normal for a little boy.
17:28But now you must let the grown-ups handle things.
17:31All you have to do is relax and let the pills take effect.
17:38That's a good boy.
17:59It's your move, Reese. What are you going to do?
18:03I don't know.
18:04I'm hungry.
18:05Reese, if you attack me, you're grounded.
18:08If you don't attack her, you're grounded.
18:09Stop it! I don't want to play anymore. I hate this game.
18:13It's never been this horrible, even when Malcolm was kicking our butts.
18:18He's right. Look what we've become.
18:22Without Malcolm humiliating us, our worst competitive instincts took over.
18:27I'm ashamed for all of us.
18:30So you're quitting?
18:32Let it go, Lois.
18:35Ah, you're right. Reese, do the honors.
18:40Good. Now who wants to go outside and watch me burn the evil game?
18:44Yeah!
18:44Yes, sir.
18:46I have to admit, cadet, I thought you boys would have surrendered by now.
18:50But instead, you have shown strength of will, teamwork, and a willingness to sacrifice.
18:56Well done.
18:57With what?
18:58The strike.
19:00Right, right, the strike.
19:01Well, that's good, because we weren't going to do the thing until we got back.
19:10Well, you know.
19:13Yes, I believe I do.
19:17Shall we discuss terms?
19:20We did it. Strike's over. We won!
19:24Yeah!
19:26He got his magic hat!
19:29What about the television?
19:32Huh?
19:37Here's your blood test, man.
19:39Thanks. Here's my urine.
19:41Good luck on the drug test.
19:43But I really think you should get some help.
19:47I knew it!
19:50Oh, good. Helmet, I've been looking all over for you.
19:53I have great news. You see, I just had another blood test, and it shows that I really don't need
19:58surgery, because if the blood count goes down to normal, that means it isn't appendicitis. It was probably just a
20:03transient infection or maybe even a cold sore.
20:04Yes, little boy.
20:07Yes, little boy.
20:10I need to talk to Dr. Harrison.
20:13Count backwards from a hundred.
20:16Hi there, sport. We'll have that appendix out in no time.
20:20No.
20:23Okay. Scalpel?
20:26Huh? Hold on a second.
20:30Do not operate.
20:32Agent H 16 and 47, platelets 310. These are blood test results.
20:37White count 8.4, is that right?
20:41I will sue your ass for malpractice.
20:43Uh, maybe we should run another blood test.
20:47Spangler was right.
20:48Who needs television?
20:50This is nice. Get some fresh air.
20:53Some exercise.
20:56Nice drive.
20:57Thanks.
20:58I think this hat is magic.
21:02Right, Francis?
21:04Uh-huh.
21:05Oh, remember to replace your divots.
21:10There's nothing like two days at the hospital to make you appreciate your own home.
21:13Give me that.
21:14Oh, my God.
21:15Look at Malcolm's hospital, Bill.
21:17I'd hate to think of what it'd cost if you'd actually have the operation.
21:20Well, there goes our summer vacation.
21:22Oh, man.
21:23So we have to pay even though it was faking?
21:25I wasn't faking.
21:27I'm the one who figured out they were wrong, remember?
21:29Well, if you're such a genius, why didn't you figure it out sooner?
21:33Well, son, you want to answer that for us all?
21:37Nothing like ten seconds at home to make you appreciate the hospital.
22:07You're welcome.
22:10Let's go.
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