Skip to playerSkip to main content
EchoVisionHub
  • 12 hours ago
Gogglebox UK S27E14 (2026)

Category

📺
TV
Transcript
00:05What are you two kids doing in here?
00:07Are you getting on?
00:08Are you becoming best friends?
00:09Are you becoming friends now?
00:12Hopefully.
00:13Oh look!
00:14No, this is so sweet.
00:16Okay!
00:17That didn't work.
00:18That'll be enough of that.
00:19Yeah, it's it.
00:24Have you ever done all like that?
00:26Well, I'll tell you what they had.
00:30Oh, Barcelona.
00:33No, I don't like that this guy is trying to tell me how to eat my dinner.
00:36A what?
00:37Foot fetish!
00:38I had no idea that was a thing.
00:40Remove my britches, expose your loins.
00:43I like that.
00:46Oh, Ronnie.
00:47This is weird.
00:48Gee, he's a mercenary bugger, isn't he?
00:50This is why I don't date.
00:52That is Dyson with the devil.
00:53Oh no.
00:54He suffers for his art, doesn't he?
00:56A Bentley Continental!
00:58I think I'd rather call it a Dane, actually, wouldn't you?
01:01Who's been arrested now, and for what?
01:05In the week Sir David Attenborough celebrated his 100th birthday, we enjoyed lots of great telly.
01:14Channel 4 had handy hacks from Mr Oliver.
01:17Just grab yourself some rosemary, thyme or sage, make a little herb brush.
01:22That's fun!
01:23Wow!
01:23A herb brush!
01:25A herb brush?
01:26Yeah.
01:27Okay.
01:27So next time the police stop you, you can tell them it's a herb, it's a herb, bro.
01:32Half his size is my herb, bro.
01:36They were trying out chat up lines on E4.
01:39How old are you?
01:4031.
01:41Why do I always get the young ones?
01:42I like it.
01:43So what do you think is flirting?
01:45Because you're flirty, but you're also not a very tactile person.
01:49Yeah.
01:51So flirty doesn't involve being tactile.
01:56Truth of the matter is, I had a lot of sex appeal.
01:59I know I did, because that was my problem really.
02:04And BBC2 had Michael Portillo back on track.
02:08I'm returning to Seoul city centre, and next to the modern main railway station.
02:14Do you know what I always find crazy?
02:16Is that there's always pigeons in a train station.
02:19Yeah, but they love it.
02:20Why?
02:20That is like their wine bar.
02:30In home.
02:32I'll just have to ring Ray.
02:33Why?
02:33He's cutting his hair.
02:35He's cutting his own hair?
02:36Yeah, yeah.
02:36Get him on the phone.
02:38Hello.
02:38Hi, Jen.
02:39Hiya, love.
02:40Hello.
02:40Have you done your hair yet?
02:42Yeah.
02:43Best friends Jenny and Lee.
02:45I've got some tubs at the bottom, but I can't get them out, you'll have to do it.
02:50Ray, I won't let her near him.
02:52Ray, I won't let her near it.
02:54You'll just have to stand with your back to the wall so nobody can see it.
02:58No, I'll put me collar up.
03:03On Tuesday night, our favourite chap in Chinos was on the rails again on BBC Two.
03:10Portillo.
03:11Oh, Portillo.
03:11Do you know Michael Portillo?
03:13Yeah, he wears those nice trousers.
03:14Do you know that Auntie Margaret watches Michael Portillo repeats?
03:18I know.
03:18All the time.
03:19Yes.
03:19And when you go around, she pauses it?
03:22Yeah.
03:22Don't want you talking while Michael's on.
03:24No, she doesn't.
03:26South Korea by rail.
03:29The country don't know a lot about Korea.
03:31No, me.
03:31I'd be much more comfortable in South Korea than North Korea.
03:35Oh, yeah.
03:36These trains are capable of more than 200 MPH.
03:40It's like you at M62, that.
03:42Well, you wouldn't see now, would you?
03:45200 MPH.
03:47The opportunity to explore one of the world's most successful countries.
03:52I've actually never been to Asia and I'd love to go.
03:56To Asia at all?
03:57I've never been to Asia.
03:58Oh, my God.
03:59I've been to Thailand ten times.
04:01Creepy.
04:04I actually saw him near the ice cream shack at the top of town.
04:07Did you?
04:08Yeah.
04:08Yeah.
04:09What was he doing?
04:10Having an ice cream.
04:11Nice.
04:12You know, back in the old days, Amani, when I used to be into K-pop,
04:16like, way more than I am now.
04:17Yeah, you had your K-pop club as well.
04:19Yeah, I had my K-pop club.
04:20I had my K-drama club as well.
04:22There were two different things, even though people thought it was the same thing.
04:25I would make them sign up to different things, you know,
04:28just so I can keep it going, the momentum.
04:30Wow.
04:30I got so many people into it, honestly.
04:33Like, it was a cult for me.
04:34Yeah, you took it too seriously.
04:35It was like a cult for me and I was their leader.
04:38In the program, Michael had made it all the way to Seoul and the headquarters of tech giant Samsung.
04:46The company's latest gadgets and innovations are tested in a full-size model smart home.
04:52Come on.
04:53I'm into this already.
04:54I know.
04:55What?
04:56We got smart labels.
04:57It was the worst thing I ever did.
04:58I got them taken down.
05:00I'm taking a tour with manager Tay Lee.
05:04Well, that's smart.
05:05Thumpering at the door.
05:07Save you losing your keys all the time, wouldn't it?
05:10So, the home knows that I'm home and I like it nice and bright in my home when I arrive,
05:15so the curtains will open.
05:16Come on!
05:18This is your dream, isn't it?
05:20Isn't it?
05:21I hate opening curtains.
05:24I always pull them off.
05:26So, these devices that are connected, they connect with each other and they communicate.
05:30I could have a conversation with all my furniture.
05:33You do now.
05:34Could I?
05:34Because you talk to my fucking wardrobes.
05:37My worry is that they might all suddenly want to attack you.
05:41So, pin you to the ground and suffocate you.
05:43This is a refrigerator but looking more like a television than a fridge.
05:48What?
05:49So, you can do everything you can with a tablet, for example.
05:52Like I'm going to stand at the front of the fridge typing up an email.
05:55That's it.
05:56That's it.
05:56Yeah, I've just sent from my fridge.
05:59It just doesn't work, does it?
06:01What?
06:03Watch even movies here.
06:05Why would you want to...
06:06Who's going to go and stand at the fridge and watch a film?
06:08It's just, I guess, if you were watching a film on your sofa and you thought,
06:12I'll go to the fridge.
06:13Yeah.
06:14They would start showing the same film.
06:15The toaster would come towards me and electrocute me.
06:18In the fridge, we have a camera built in.
06:22What?
06:23And it will manage what you have inside your fridge for you.
06:26The fridge is going to judge you.
06:27Are you bothered about what a fridge thinks?
06:29When somebody hacks it and you're there at three in the morning,
06:32where you're not banging out, getting a block of cheese.
06:34They've got you.
06:35It bangs their eyes.
06:36It will give me a recipe recommendation based on what I like.
06:39That is insane.
06:40Well, it's not going to make much with the one apple and a few bricks in there, is it?
06:44Yeah, it's good to say.
06:44You should go takeaway.
06:46Yeah.
06:47As well as suggesting what you might enjoy for lunch,
06:50the smart house can help you to cook it.
06:53Ideal.
06:54Fucking ideal.
06:55I think this is a very good recipe to start with.
06:58Hang on a minute.
06:59It's cooking pot noodle.
07:00That's a great recipe.
07:00We're cooking pot noodles.
07:02I'm going to hand you my phone.
07:03Mm-hm.
07:04All you need to do is scan the barcode right here.
07:07I do that with my Slimming World app.
07:10Tells me how many swips.
07:11Tap on the phone where it says send to order purifier.
07:14This is bloody clever, isn't it?
07:17That time you've fanned on your phone doing all this,
07:21you could have just actually cooked your noodles.
07:24Place it here.
07:25Just push down on the lever.
07:27I thought it was going to have a sensor on that tap.
07:29You put it under and the water comes out.
07:31I haven't got time to be pressing buttons.
07:33So you don't have to worry about how much water you need to add for this recipe.
07:37It will automatically do it for you.
07:39Oh, I do like that.
07:40That is insane.
07:42You've got a jug and you've got a plastic jug in the kitchen for that.
07:45I bet I cut about four million with that tap.
07:47Oh, shut up.
07:52Smells great.
07:53Say goodbye to overcooked noodles.
07:57Oh, look at them chopsticks.
07:59They're a bit fancy, aren't they?
08:01It's been great to cook with you, Tay, and with your wonderful new technology.
08:05My pleasure.
08:06Like, even I could make a pot noodle.
08:08Jesus Christ.
08:10What's going to happen in another two generations?
08:13What's going to happen?
08:14You're going to be marrying robots to see who can do the best grub.
08:18You won't have to bother, love.
08:19No, I won't.
08:20I'm glad I won't.
08:21I can't guarantee that if I was to then get the noodles out of the pan,
08:24I wouldn't be having to get me bachelor
08:26to scrape the noodle off the bottom of the pan.
08:29Your bachelor.
08:31What's it called, the thing with the...?
08:33A spatula.
08:35Oh, fuck!
08:41A fucking bachelor!
08:48In Wiltshire...
08:49I think my birthday's been and gone nutty, but I think I may have found my metier as a children's
08:55entertainer.
08:56Who bought you that balloon kit?
08:58There's something frightening about it.
09:00I think it's terrifying.
09:02Giles and his wife, Mary.
09:04Oh, my goodness, Mary.
09:06Isn't that amazing?
09:07I've never had anything like this.
09:08It's given me more satisfaction than anything, almost anything else.
09:12On my birthday, apart from that lovely Pollock.
09:15On Wednesday night, the maths newlyweds were facing their final task of the experiment on E4.
09:22OK, let's have a look at the attention seekers.
09:25Maths Australia, what's been going on? Are you up to date?
09:28Oh, I'm absolutely loving it. Balls deep in maths.
09:32During the matchmaking process, there was more than one person that our participants were compatible with.
09:38This is when they put in the, um...
09:40People they might have matched with.
09:41The tempts.
09:42Yeah, the temptresses.
09:43The participants' alternate matches joined the boys and girls for a special lunch.
09:48I love a little this-is-what-you-could-have-had moment on these kind of shows.
09:53Scott and David refused to participate.
09:56Oh, why? They decided not to participate, boring bastards.
09:59Happy?
10:00I mean, it's all right to have a little chat, it's not that deep.
10:03You're not cheating, are you?
10:04Just because you've already chosen what you're eating,
10:06doesn't mean you can't still look at the menu.
10:08No.
10:09As Alyssa got curious about her match...
10:11Do you have any tattoos?
10:12I can't show you where, though.
10:13Do you want to drop your pants?
10:16Ooh!
10:18It's never a good sign when one walks away from the temptation,
10:22and the other one is going,
10:23Why don't you drop your pants?
10:24Alarm bells.
10:28What would Nat actually do if you did flirt with someone else?
10:31I actually don't think he'd even do anything.
10:34Oh, exactly.
10:36He's like, he and me, Alfa.
10:37Yeah?
10:38She's a fucking nightmare!
10:40Wow.
10:41There's a letter and there's two flipping iPads.
10:44OK, we're definitely watching something.
10:46Do you think they're going to watch how it all went?
10:49Yeah!
10:49Of course they are!
10:51Of course they are!
10:51They're not going to watch Emmerdale, are they?
10:53Take an iPad and watch the video separately.
10:56Then come back together to debrief.
10:59Oh!
11:00Brutal.
11:00Well, this could be a right old route, Simon.
11:03I love it.
11:04There's nothing wrong with networking with people.
11:07Networking.
11:07Networking, get your pants off.
11:09Get your pants off.
11:10That's one way of putting in, it's networking.
11:12She's rebranded flirting as networking.
11:14Yeah.
11:15I like her style.
11:16As David heads to the bedroom, Alyssa begins watching back how the grooms went at the final
11:23test.
11:24Her video's going to be short, isn't it?
11:25Yeah.
11:26All you're going to hear is David crying in the bedroom.
11:30You know, it's lovely to meet you, but I don't feel like I can't engage.
11:34You know what I'm saying?
11:34Like, I'm strapped.
11:35Oh, fair play.
11:36Yeah, David said he's strapped up.
11:38Yeah, he had to tap out or he was going to get in trouble.
11:40Yeah.
11:40I'd expect nothing more from you, Steve.
11:43Absolutely.
11:44I wouldn't have even gone in there.
11:45I'm telling you.
11:46Well, I'm pleased you said that.
11:48Oh, my God.
11:50Oh, he's logging in now.
11:52Press play.
11:52He is not going to be happy.
11:55Instagram's greener!
11:57What did she say?
12:00Instagram's greener!
12:01Already?
12:02Oh, my God.
12:03She's like, oh, my God, let's experiment.
12:11How are we all?
12:14I thought we were married at first sight.
12:15This is Victoria's Secret one.
12:17Oh, he's a charmer.
12:18He's got his line.
12:19That was so cringe.
12:20That really was.
12:21That was so cringe.
12:22I bet you she was like, oh, my God.
12:24How old are you?
12:2531.
12:26Why do I always get the young ones?
12:27I like it.
12:29Alyssa's flirting.
12:30No, she's not working.
12:32What's your star sign?
12:34Oh, he'll have steam coming out of his ears now shortly, Dave.
12:37You can see it coming off.
12:38Do you have any tattoos?
12:39Yeah, I can't show you where that.
12:40Whereabouts?
12:41Is it on your arse?
12:42Drop your pants?
12:43Yeah.
12:46Is it on your arse?
12:47You don't even know how to drink it.
12:48Let me do some squats first, so it looks like...
12:51Is it on your arse?
12:52David's not laughing or smiling.
12:54You ain't find it as funny.
12:54What's the matter with him?
12:55It's just fun.
12:56It's just a joke.
12:59Are you done?
13:00Oh, aye.
13:01I'm dorked.
13:02I'm well done, lady.
13:04Stick your fork in me.
13:05I'm dorked.
13:06I think that was hilarious.
13:07But I was also like, why did you just leave?
13:10Like, why did you walk away?
13:11Why did you walk away?
13:12Because now I've got nothing to put on.
13:13Pull you up off.
13:14I can't even rip you, Lim, from Lim.
13:16You've done the right thing.
13:17You've done the honourable thing.
13:19Did you know that it was to find out whether the grass was greener?
13:23Yeah, of course.
13:23She cheesed to it.
13:24She knows exactly what she was doing.
13:26Those guys walked in and said what they were here for,
13:29so I know it wasn't a networking event.
13:31I'm not saying it's networking.
13:32Treat it like when you go to events and talk to people.
13:35When you asked him what his star sign was.
13:36Oh, not the star sign.
13:38Take my eyes, but don't find out his star sign.
13:41That's where you draw the line.
13:42Yeah, she found out his star sign, for God's sake.
13:45You know, you made the joke about drop your jocks.
13:48Drop your jocks.
13:50It's a joke, babe.
13:51I get that, but like, you know, to hear that and then you...
13:55Lighten up, David.
13:56Lighten up, David.
13:57I see telling someone to lighten up in that mood.
14:00That's not going to work, honey.
14:02Fuel to the fire.
14:03Oh, my God.
14:03Oh, just lighten up.
14:04Lighten up.
14:05I don't want to even continue this conversation.
14:07I'm just going to walk up, because that's how I feel.
14:10Oh, the flowers.
14:11Always walking out.
14:13Oh, shit.
14:13Men.
14:14If you're Dan, don't worry, I'm Dan too.
14:18Oh, dear.
14:19Is it over?
14:20When she says done, does she mean that's it?
14:22That's it.
14:23End of.
14:24End of experiment.
14:25End of relationship.
14:26End of marriage.
14:27Kaput.
14:28No, I deserve more than that.
14:31Oh, his ring!
14:33Oh!
14:34Not on the bellhop thing.
14:37I won't give it back.
14:38I'd keep it and put it in pawn shop.
14:41I'm Dan too.
14:42Here you go.
14:44Fuck off.
14:46They're both done.
14:48Oh, how childish.
14:50What I hope she does is tries and goes back into the apartment
14:53and slam the door when it's one of those soft closers,
14:56you know, like at a hotel so it doesn't slam.
14:58Fuck you.
14:59Oh.
15:08In Durham.
15:09We didn't realise this when we were going to Scotland,
15:11but we put it on the sat-nav.
15:13And originally it said five hours and I thought,
15:15oh, that's a long time.
15:16And then we'd put it on the morning when we were leaving
15:18and it said five hours forty.
15:20Five hours forty.
15:22Best friends Abby and Georgia.
15:25And did you have to show your passport as well?
15:28No.
15:30Passports.
15:31Well, cos you're going into another country.
15:33We crossed the border.
15:34We didn't show a passport.
15:35There wasn't border control.
15:38You crossed the border?
15:40Yeah.
15:40Cos really, you go to Spain, you go to another country.
15:43You go to Scotland, you go to another country.
15:45You go to Wales, you go to another country.
15:47But I don't know.
15:50No-one asked me for my passport.
15:53I tell you what though, while we were there,
15:55I did ask Josh what the time was back home.
15:59He said...
16:00On Saturday night, BGT was still on the hunt for top-notch talent.
16:05Hey, we've got a semi on, so...
16:07I know.
16:07Had a nice couple of drinks there.
16:10BGT.
16:10I've got you some grapes, and I've got you some strawberries.
16:15Where's the real snacks?
16:16I've got you some rocky roads.
16:18Oh, that's not like it.
16:22Are they ever going to change the start of this?
16:24Never.
16:25It just makes me think we're in a recession.
16:27Yeah.
16:28We are.
16:30I'm Alfredo.
16:31I'm Coral.
16:32We are husband and wife, and...
16:34We perform together.
16:36Oh, you know who this is.
16:38The crossbow.
16:40Yes, I get...
16:41Oof.
16:42I know it's dangerous.
16:43I wouldn't trust you with the crossbow.
16:47I wouldn't aim a crossbow at you, Cheryl.
16:50We met on my birthday party.
16:51We started to talk.
16:52I told her, if you allow me to throw knives at you, and she said,
16:55for sure, and here we are.
16:57If you meet a guy and he starts wanting to throw knives at you,
16:59I'd call that a red flag.
17:01That's a woman that has no trust issues, I'll tell you that now.
17:04That's a man who's had about six marriages.
17:09What a strange couple they make.
17:11Why did he make this feel all sexy?
17:13It's literally a guy trying to kill his wife and keeps missing.
17:15Yeah.
17:20I'll tell you what he's got in them trousers.
17:23Betty's wallet.
17:24Exactly.
17:28Do you know what?
17:29This is already dangerous.
17:31Dangerously sexy.
17:32Yeah, it's sexy and dangerous.
17:34Oh, is it?
17:36Oh, he's a bit close, isn't he?
17:41I wouldn't have you doing that to me.
17:43Oh, my God.
17:48What's he got here?
17:49Oh, these look precarious, too.
17:51Right, what's he got now?
17:51A can opener?
17:55Oh, right, so now he has no eyeballs.
18:00Oh, Jesus Christ.
18:01How does he know where she is?
18:03Right, she's got to make noises now, so if she knows...
18:05Yeah, she's got to whistle or something.
18:07Ah!
18:09Stop!
18:10Oh, hello.
18:11Huh?
18:12Oh, she is a dominatrix, isn't she?
18:14A bossy old bitch.
18:15Yeah.
18:16Bit like you, darling.
18:18Sounds like a really aggressive lollipop lady.
18:21Stop!
18:23Okay!
18:25Oh, Jesus Christ.
18:28Flipping heck.
18:28Well, it's miles away.
18:30That's fucking miles away.
18:30I mean, that's easy.
18:32I bet they've practised this at home, you know.
18:34Left!
18:36Left!
18:37Stop!
18:38If you were in the crowd, you'd shout, okay, wouldn't you?
18:41Yeah.
18:42In her voice.
18:43Yeah.
18:44Okay!
18:47Oh, that was close.
18:50It really wasn't, was it?
18:51Did she flinch there or is that like a part of the act?
18:54It's all part of the act, it has to be.
18:56Well, that's pretty good.
18:57She looked like a gymnast.
18:59Yeah.
18:59She looked like a gymnast that finished her job.
19:04Oh, I don't...
19:06Oh, the old crossbow's out now, you ego.
19:08I don't like this, Lev.
19:08I don't know if Beethoven had intended his Moonlight Sonata to be used for a crossbow challenge, nutty, on Britain's
19:16Got Talent.
19:22No way.
19:23Oh, hello.
19:24No, stop that.
19:26I like that.
19:27No way.
19:30Oh, she's turning.
19:32Oh, she's swivelling as well.
19:34Oh, no.
19:35No, that's too dangerous.
19:37That's too dangerous.
19:42He's done it!
19:43Oh!
19:44I couldn't even get myself into that position.
19:46What kind of party were they at when they met?
19:53It's a very sexually charged act.
19:56Why do I fancy her quite a lot now?
20:01I fancy him.
20:02I bet you bloody do.
20:03So do I.
20:04On a double date.
20:05So do I.
20:06You see, now, if that were me and Paige on the stage, the roles would be different.
20:10I think Paige would be the Alfredo and I would be Coral.
20:13Yeah.
20:14You know?
20:14And the reason being that if I say hit Paige with a knife, I'd never hear the last of it.
20:22And you've got the legs for the layout.
20:24Well, that as well.
20:25And there's not really much to it, is there?
20:27We like throwing it a credit card side on.
20:29Yeah.
20:32Yeah.
20:33Manchester.
20:34Sean.
20:35Look at this, what I made.
20:37It's an internet sensation.
20:40It's crisps with chocolate.
20:42Ooh, I'm in for a treat here.
20:44Yeah.
20:46Hear that crunch.
20:47The malones.
20:49What are you pulling the face at?
20:51It's like watching the cement.
20:52Makes you go and hear this.
20:55It's not for me, that.
20:56What?
20:57We found something that's not for Sean.
20:59Some food that's not for Sean.
21:01Let's work on him.
21:02I reckon he'll turn.
21:03He's going to get the proper taste.
21:05He's going to go, you know what?
21:05I'll have another bite of that in a minute.
21:10It does grow on you.
21:11It's growing on you.
21:14On Tuesday night, Jamie was back grilling some grub on Channel 4.
21:22What are you doing?
21:23Pulling me fat pants up.
21:25Fucking how far did they go?
21:27They're up here.
21:27They're under me brad.
21:28Looks like I've got a swimming cozy on.
21:30I went to the same college as Jamie Oliver, Simon.
21:33No way.
21:35They spotted Jamie, but they didn't spot me, Simon.
21:37Oh, Jamie.
21:38Oh, no.
21:39If you'd been called Jamie...
21:40They might have.
21:41Yeah.
21:42You've had your own show by now.
21:43Yeah, I could be, couldn't I?
21:44The Naked Chef.
21:45I wouldn't have watched that, to be honest.
21:47That was my sister.
21:48The first glimpse of sunshine, and we just want to get outside and barbecue.
21:53It's true.
21:54I was walking around the supermarket the other week when the sun was shining.
21:57And everyone was on the phone saying,
21:58we're having a barbecue later.
22:00Do you want to come?
22:00Get two more burgers.
22:02Tom and Tim are coming.
22:04So I've created delicious recipes to help you be more adventurous
22:07when you fire up that barbecue.
22:09Oh.
22:10Hello.
22:11That looked nice.
22:12From epic rubs and flavour-packed marinades, gnarly, encrusted...
22:16I really want Jamie in my life.
22:18To roast dinners, chicken curries...
22:21Chicken curry on a barbecue?
22:22Ooh.
22:23And even breakfast.
22:24Breakfast?
22:25Yeah, I'm going to roll out of bed and go and spark the barbecue.
22:31This is one for dads, isn't it?
22:33I feel exotic when I eat food from a barbecue.
22:36Our Alan does a good barbecue, doesn't he?
22:38Yeah, because he likes his steaks.
22:40Oh, my God, it's a meat feast, isn't it, Alan's Barbies?
22:43Yeah.
22:43Nothing beats cooking outside.
22:46Money, you hate both those things, being outside and cooking.
22:49Yeah, my worst nightmare, honestly.
22:51Fresh air, good vibes, and that smoky barbecue working its magic.
22:56You do feel all kinds of manly when you do a barbecue as well, don't you?
22:59I do like opening the back door and going, someone's having a barbie.
23:03Yeah.
23:04It's funny, that, isn't it?
23:05That's the most British thing ever.
23:08Someone's having a barbie.
23:10I'm going to put it to one side.
23:13You see, mine looks nothing like that.
23:14It's got all fat and residue and bits of burgers stuck on the grills.
23:19Hello.
23:19From last summer.
23:21Yeah.
23:21That means you've got very hot, medium, and low.
23:25Oh, I've never thought of that.
23:27You didn't know that, Mr. Warden.
23:28Did you?
23:29Oh, that's clever.
23:30I don't bother with that.
23:31I don't think this is necessary.
23:33Ruzzle.
23:33So, I'm going to cook these steaks three different ways.
23:35Rare, medium rare, and medium.
23:37What about well done?
23:39Do you know, Nat used to get well done steaks before he met me,
23:42and then because I ripped him to shreds,
23:44he didn't dare order it again,
23:45so then he started getting medium.
23:47So, 47 degrees internal temperature.
23:49That's our rare steak.
23:50Oh, look.
23:50Take notes, Dad.
23:5147 degrees.
23:5347.
23:54Oh, here we go.
23:55This one here is going to be our medium rare,
23:58which you want about 52.
24:00Can you imagine doing all that, Lara?
24:02No.
24:03This is such a performance, isn't it?
24:05I know.
24:05So, while that's resting,
24:07I'm going to get the veggies on the barbecue.
24:08No.
24:09Wow.
24:09What is he doing cooking vegetables on a barbecue?
24:12It's meat, aren't we?
24:13What a muppet.
24:14I'm going to go over to the hot side
24:16with some beautiful asparagus.
24:17Do you like them?
24:19What do they taste like?
24:21Asparagus.
24:23Grilled radish is going to be delicious.
24:26Unusual, but very, very cool.
24:28Are you getting excited about that?
24:30No.
24:30Oh, I've never had cooked radishes here.
24:32Oh, no.
24:33You can take things like monge-tu or sugar snap peas.
24:35Anything that's small that would fall through the bars,
24:37we can put on here.
24:39On your metal save.
24:41Oh, my God.
24:42I think Jamie's a genius.
24:44Oh, monge-tu.
24:45Monge-tu.
24:45I love a monge-tu.
24:47This green stuff has no place at a barbecue.
24:49Just slice this up.
24:51Look at this.
24:53Is he cutting it into tiny little bits?
24:55Yes.
24:56I like to do that myself.
24:57I don't like people doing too much activism on my meat, Nativ.
25:02I like dealing with things myself.
25:03It makes me feel like a savage.
25:05Oh, but...
25:05I don't want someone to cut it up for me.
25:09All those gorgeous juices.
25:11Got my juices flowing, that, Asli, I'll tell you now.
25:14Fuck off.
25:15Whoa.
25:16Honest to God, I was enjoying this steak.
25:19And look at that beef.
25:21Cooked to perfection.
25:24Mmm.
25:24How I wish I was Jules Holland.
25:28Jules Holland?
25:29His wife.
25:30Oh.
25:31Mmm.
25:33Not Jules Holland.
25:34No, that's...
25:35That's the musician, isn't it?
25:39Jules Oliver, I meant.
25:41Oh.
25:42Yeah.
25:42No, I don't want to be Jules Holland.
25:44Jules Holland.
25:45Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
25:55In Leeds...
25:56I've texted Georgia, personal trainer, this morning.
25:59Have you?
26:00I've told her I'm not being a ghost anymore
26:02and that I think she'll have some time coming up for me soon
26:05over the summer and that's it.
26:06I'm going in, protein queen.
26:09Sisters Ellie and Izzy.
26:12Really?
26:12Why?
26:13what's got into you because i'm sick a bit i said i'm jiggly beyond a joke that is but those
26:18were
26:18my words to georgia jiggly beyond a joke jiggly beyond the joke i thought no is you've got to do
26:24something about it i'm looking at surgery options on google 12 grand can't afford it gonna have to
26:29start exercising on friday it was down to bbc news to take us into the long weekend everybody calm
26:38everyone stay calm we've got the news yeah we're gonna learn something settle into a bank holiday
26:43yeah is it what are these 2018 has called it wants its curtains back i know i've just taken them
26:50out
26:50of my bedroom they're shocking aren't they what in the crushed velvet what in the 2018 mirror chrome
26:58furniture is going on here yeah uh now many of us may be trying our hands a bit of diy
27:04this bank
27:05holiday weekend see i'm not exclusive to bank holiday weekend for my diy it's seven days a week
27:11three six five three six four i don't do christmas day obviously as you know
27:18and ahead of it the flat pack world championships so you gotta go for the flat pack regionals
27:26it's an annual event and it sees competitors race to assemble furniture in record time there's
27:31nothing in record time is they're doing flat pack furniture no they ain't like sexual bastard day
27:36but if you're delighted by dowels bonkers about brackets or you actually know which way around
27:40the instructions need to be this contest is for you the last thing i built was a five by five
27:47clallax
27:48oh that's the biggest of the clallax ranges oh god the ultimate relationship test now a world
27:55championship what a brilliant idea for something constructive this is when a husband and wife have
28:00built a few bits in the house and go we could do this professionally you build a bookcase and then
28:06a bedside table but against the clock and with an audience i can't imagine the audience is massive
28:14you've got more people on stage than you do in the audience do you reckon they sell out tickets
28:18what are you up to this can i have a box warehouse worker hayley will be competing as the reigning
28:24champ
28:25for now is that what you got to win do you got a golden allen keys you got the golden
28:31trophy she
28:32knocked up a table in nine minutes 33 seconds last time around oh my god hayley that would be nine
28:38hours for me yeah nine days for me and even has her own flat pack support business i bet she's
28:44really
28:44popular three two one go come on girl intense hammering and twisting everyone hoping someone
28:54else would screw up oh look at that multitasking reading the instructions screwing and getting the
28:59next piece out i do believe we might have someone into the final straight
29:06she's done the jaws already yes she's done it again to the winner the spoils or more appropriately
29:15the golden hex key hex key it's not called a hex key it is called an allen key and let's
29:22be honest
29:22a lot of phone calls from friends and family desperate for assembly assistance pay them all off
29:27unless you're paying i'm not interested i actually would think i'd do all right i reckon so is
29:33all most of my house is made of flat park huh couch flat park what else flat park okay
29:42yeah keep going flat park
29:47in sorry mum we went to go and see judy love the other day we did and it was really
29:52good
29:53but you are terrible at directions sarah the husband andre and their daughter shay
30:01whenever you're with me or with dad mom just goes off into another world in another cuckoo land
30:07mom doesn't know what's going on mom's not bothering you have to make sure mom doesn't get
30:11hit by cars you have to tell mom no move over there mom no mom the keys over there the
30:16bathrooms
30:17mom's just goes about life life that is your mom oh this week the spooks from widows bay were giving
30:26us the willies again on apple tv i can't believe we're watching this again my anxiety is being up here
30:32as it is it's going to be after this if anyone deserves to get haunted it's you because you're such
30:38a skeptic with it dad please don't haunt me or if you're going to haunt me make sure i'm dressed
30:45oh it always be do you know what spooks me at the minute
30:49he walking in my bedroom on the night i just see his tiny shadow
30:53hey it's honestly abby it's horrible you can hear his footstep like this
31:01it's horrible thank you in the program mayor tom was trying to convince the locals that there was
31:08no such thing as ghosts we have a new chapter now and there is nothing wrong with that in a
31:16lot of
31:16bad things have gone down there yes that's that's true but it doesn't make it haunted i would never
31:22put anyone in danger why don't you stay there yeah if you really don't think it's haunted and there's
31:27no wrong with it why don't you go and keep there for the night and if you give me a
31:30ring i'll come and
31:31stay there and bring all my gold stunting equipment okay i'll do it good on you tom if that's what
31:36it
31:36takes i will stay there tonight oh see if he does stay he'll shut him all up he should spend
31:43time in
31:44that crawl space oh spend time in the crawl space isn't the crawl space the bit that's under the house
31:50okay i'll do it but when i do all this talk stops right well fair comment would you do it
31:58no not even
32:00for money maybe how much we're talking later we saw tom arrive at the creepy inn
32:18what is joy listen is that music can hear stuff
32:25oh it's people screaming i think when you hear screaming in an air vent at a hotel it's pretty
32:30normal just to mind your own business oh is that a footstep yeah sounds like someone's going up the
32:40stairs someone outside outside the door honey what are you doing that was you he's already opening the
32:59door you know oh my god i definitely saw it hello oh there's somebody there that's not scary no somebody
33:09staying there he didn't tell him that the innkeeper didn't tell me anyone else would be here does he
33:15usually announce guests to each other just another guest i mean that's normal if you're going to a hotel
33:20isn't it i'm william is william really there this is what i'm thinking is william a ghost you know
33:31something's not right here self no because why would he still be wearing his tie
33:36yeah you'd have had that off and top button under one exactly before heading to bed
33:41mayor tom wanted to check where the noises were coming from
33:48there's the crawl space mary oh shit no oh that is very small isn't it
33:57it's actually going in there oh he's going in yuck you silly bastard what the hell abs i need to
34:06block
34:06my ear bloody hell it's like a whole nother room in there
34:15i'm really not enjoying this all my life
34:20what are you doing jenny what is the matter with you well i'm scared and they haven't even seen not
34:27yet
34:30oh he's videoing i am in the crawl space
34:37oh what was that was that someone behind them hello hello oh tom get out there's nobody there
34:46it's going in the hall
34:47well william who is it go back go back go back go back
34:54oh oh oh oh oh oh howdy neighbor oh oh is william need some help in there what no no
35:04oh no this is
35:06creeping out why can't we see his face no don't don't don't don't come in don't i'm coming out don't
35:11come
35:15don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't don't oh oh oh my god oh what is
35:22it oh my god it's a clown
35:27oh
35:27Oh, how fat is the body?
35:31Oh, he's bloody dreaming.
35:37It was just a dream. Fuck off.
35:40Oh, now I'll be having bastard dreams all night now.
35:43Like what? You mean like Tom?
35:45Yeah, following me up my passage.
35:48Oh, you don't want that.
35:58In Blackpool.
35:59Did I tell you Paige played an absolute blinder the other night?
36:03Why?
36:04So Eva was a bit poorly getting up, getting up every two minutes,
36:07waking up.
36:08Paige's turn to get up.
36:09Do you want to come and stop in Mummy and Daddy's bed then?
36:12Yeah.
36:14Pete and his little sister Sophie.
36:16Anyway, Eva starts snoring in the middle of us
36:19and me and Paige are like that and Paige are like,
36:21I can't sleep like this, I'm going in the other room.
36:24I went, you cheeky son.
36:26You're the one who's offered her to come in here
36:28and now I'm having to put up with this.
36:30Oh, God.
36:32I nearly went and stopped in Eva's car,
36:34even at our bed and patient's spare room.
36:37This week, it was an action-packed thriller set Down Under
36:40that had us on the edge of our seats on Netflix.
36:43You ready to be thrilled, Jane?
36:45Yeah, I could do with a bit of a thriller.
36:47Right, it'll perk you up a bit.
36:48Yeah, it will perk me up.
36:49Oh, that'll be lovely, I'll look forward to that.
36:51I like Charlize Theron, but I only like her in select stuff
36:54like the Italian job, The Remake, when she was a safe cracker.
36:58Oh! Now you know who she is.
36:59I know who she is now, the one with the stethoscope.
37:02That's right.
37:07Apex, that's how you shape somebody's nail when you're doing them.
37:10You want it to have an apex.
37:12Yeah, but it's an apex predator.
37:14It's the top of the food chain.
37:16Oh, is it?
37:16Yeah.
37:18My mind just goes to nails.
37:20In the film, we found Charlize Theron
37:22looking for a route through the Australian outback.
37:26You going that alone?
37:28I wouldn't recommend it.
37:29Why?
37:30Why?
37:30I think at this point in the film, if she turned round
37:33and said, oh, I'll give it a miss, it would be quite a shit ending.
37:36Yeah.
37:36People get lost in these woods all the time.
37:39And here, they stay lost.
37:40Oh, look at all them people missing on the board.
37:42Oh!
37:42God!
37:43I mean, if that's not shouting red flag, what is?
37:48Hi.
37:48Hello.
37:49Hi.
37:50Hey-o.
37:51Tyron Edgerton's here.
37:52Oh, that's the guy that plays Elton John, isn't he?
37:55Yeah, and Eddie the Eagle, isn't he?
37:57That's right, eh.
37:58I'm trying to get to Grand Isle Narrows.
38:00My GPS is out, yeah.
38:02Are you here for the canyon?
38:02Yeah.
38:03Don't tell, you don't tell people where you're going, love, Sasha.
38:07Yeah.
38:07Start of Blackstone Bay.
38:08Just before you get to the split break,
38:10you're going to find the most amazing camping area.
38:13Okay.
38:13It's a bit of a well-kept secret.
38:14That's where all the people go missing.
38:16Ooh, that's a bit dodgy.
38:17Or a camping area.
38:18Well-kept secret nobody knows about.
38:20I hope you know what you're doing,
38:21because it can get pretty intense.
38:22Yeah, intense.
38:23Pretty gnarly.
38:24It's okay.
38:24Most people do it in pairs.
38:25Ooh, if Taryn were suggesting for us to go in pairs,
38:28I'd be on it like a carb on it.
38:30It's like people are telling her and warning her against it.
38:33She's not taking any notice.
38:35Whatsoever.
38:36No.
38:40Ooh, that looks pretty.
38:42Looks pretty creepy to me.
38:43Imagine just rocking up to that by yourself, though, innit?
38:46Yeah.
38:47In Australia.
38:48Yeah, of all places.
38:49I know.
38:50You might be able to do that in Somerset.
38:51Yeah.
38:55Oh.
38:56Who's this?
38:57It's another car.
39:02Oh, no.
39:04Oh.
39:04You know that's trouble already, innit?
39:07Do you want to be allowed?
39:08You want.
39:09I'd get in a camper van if I was you, love.
39:11Yeah.
39:11And get me head down.
39:12And put the locks down on the doors, too.
39:14I know.
39:15Would you?
39:15Yeah.
39:16Street away.
39:20Oh, they're going.
39:21They're leaving.
39:22You would never catch me wild camping on me own.
39:25Absolutely not.
39:26I wouldn't go camping on an actual campsite with facilities.
39:30Never mind wild camping.
39:32In company.
39:33With the trip not quite going to plan, Shelley's stumbled across another camper.
39:38Hello?
39:42Somebody's been here.
39:44Look, the fire's lit.
39:45Fire's still burning.
39:47Oh.
39:48Hey.
39:49Oh, who's that?
39:50Oh, it's Taran Edgerton.
39:51I'm Ben.
39:52Sasha, Ben.
39:53Nice to meet you.
39:54Hi, Sasha.
39:55What a coincidence seeing you here.
39:56It's sad for you to go this way.
39:58I told you to come to my camp.
40:00I'd be quite pleased if I bumped into Ben.
40:03I don't know if I would.
40:04Something got into my gear last night and took everything.
40:07My phone, my food.
40:08Oh, bloody hell.
40:09Oh, bloody hell.
40:10He didn't sound surprised, did he?
40:12Yeah.
40:13Good news is I always pack twice what I need.
40:16I'm more than happy to set you up.
40:17Is he bad or good?
40:19We can't tell yet, Mary.
40:21I know who showed up at my campsite the other night.
40:23It was Hunter. It's from the gas station.
40:26You're definitely messing with me.
40:27I'd be more wary of him.
40:29I am.
40:30I'm more wary of him.
40:32You handled him perfectly, though.
40:33What?
40:34You handled him perfectly?
40:36How does he know?
40:38What?
40:39You had greed and poise.
40:41Was he there?
40:43Sorry, what are you saying?
40:44At the campsite?
40:45No, I was there.
40:46I thought maybe you could use a hand.
40:48Huh?
40:48This is a bit weird now.
40:50Yeah.
40:50Oh, Daniela is following her.
40:52Not the case, though, clearly.
40:55Oh, no.
40:57That laugh, Jill.
40:58This is when it's time for me to leave, though.
41:01Like...
41:02Yeah.
41:03You're not going to finish your brickie?
41:05I'm suddenly full, actually.
41:07Play it down.
41:08Yeah.
41:08Turn round.
41:09Run like hell.
41:10Play it down. Get a rock.
41:11Smack him in the head.
41:16What's that?
41:17Whoa!
41:18He's got a crossbow!
41:19Ben is a psychopath.
41:21Run!
41:26Why is he playing the music?
41:28Is this some kind of sick fantasy he's got?
41:30So, look, it's very simple.
41:31You've got until the very end of this song to get as far away from me as you can.
41:34Oh, he wants to hunt her.
41:35He's going to kill her?
41:36I'm going to hunt her.
41:37See, we get to the end, but that's where we begin.
41:39You feel it?
41:39Many kids and we break it out.
41:41Ah!
41:41Okay, he's seriously fucked up.
41:45Good taste of music, though.
41:46Can you start it from the beginning, at least?
41:50We've already had, like, the intro bit.
41:55Run, Sasha, run!
41:57Go on.
41:57You want to run like hell, then?
41:59Huh?
41:59You're literally running for your life.
42:02Go!
42:04Go, go, go!
42:06The music's stopped!
42:10Oh!
42:11He's off!
42:12He's fucked!
42:15Look at him!
42:16Well, look, he's right there already!
42:17He knows that for his lap back of his hand, so...
42:22Oh!
42:23Oh, shit!
42:27Oh, my God, she's lost the kayak.
42:29She's fucked it herself.
42:31She has.
42:34Oh, where's Ben too?
42:35I don't know.
42:36I wouldn't like to see, love.
42:38You'd be going, do you know what, just shoot me.
42:40Yeah.
42:41This is why I don't like to be out of my comfort zone.
42:43No.
42:45Absolutely not.
42:46I like my own home.
42:47I like a cup of tea.
42:49I like a panini.
42:52Not the panini.
42:55In home...
42:57You know what, I wonder what they call French toast in France.
43:00French toast?
43:01Don't they?
43:02Or do they just say toast?
43:04Best friends Jenny and Lee.
43:07Try to eat my sandwich.
43:09Well, I'm just asking you, would France, would people in France call French toast toast?
43:14No, call it French toast.
43:16Why would they?
43:17Because they're in France.
43:18Well, we call ours mustard, English mustard, don't we?
43:22So, would they just call it toast?
43:24And we just call it mustard.
43:26And not French toast?
43:28I've gone off it.
43:32Give it to a French person.
43:34On Friday night, a new national scandal was making the headlines on the BBC.
43:39I've had a great day-to-day work.
43:42They've moved where I sit, so I've been in front of the window where the sun's coming in.
43:47What a treat.
43:48Oh, it is.
43:49He's starting to bug me again.
43:51Please get him away.
43:52I'm starting to freak out.
43:53Stop pestering Giles.
43:55Leave him alone.
43:57And stop staring at him.
43:59It's like a death stare.
44:00Now, this is a bit of a fishy tale because the BBC has learned that some chip shops are passing
44:05off catfish as traditional fish and chips.
44:08No way.
44:10They're cheeky bastards.
44:11Catfish?
44:12What's that?
44:13I thought that was when you posed a photo and you look nothing like you do in real life.
44:17It's significantly cheaper than the usual cod or haddock, but can be hard to detect.
44:22We're being catfished by catfish.
44:24Huh?
44:24I know.
44:25Oh, my God.
44:26It's all a lie.
44:27Look at these immigrant fish coming in and taking our other fish's jobs.
44:31They should be ashamed of themselves.
44:33Well, now, DNA tests have been carried out on the fish from ten chip shops in the north-west of
44:39England.
44:39North-west?
44:40Oh, my God.
44:41I'm disgusted.
44:42We're targeted.
44:43We're renowned for all fish and chips round here.
44:45I'll tell you what.
44:45We can't be having nice.
44:47This is almost like when you get caught naked somewhere.
44:50Yeah.
44:50I'm embarrassed.
44:52One of the nation's favourite takeaways.
44:54But how much do we know about what we're eating?
44:57It's expensive and all now, aren't you?
44:59See how much it is?
45:00Nine quid for a fish.
45:02Ah.
45:02But what you eating?
45:03Is it catfish?
45:04Yeah, I'd want the full tank for nine quid.
45:07When you go in your local chippy, you ask for fish and chips.
45:10What do you expect to get back?
45:11Fish.
45:12Probably cod or haddock.
45:14Cods.
45:15That's the only one I'd expect.
45:16You know, cod.
45:17The fish isn't fish.
45:19The sausage isn't sausage.
45:20And I don't know what's in the steak and kidney pudding.
45:22But I'll eat them all.
45:23Yeah?
45:24Yeah.
45:24We analysed reviews of chippies and found dozens of complaints
45:28where the species of the fish was questioned.
45:30Who's doing that?
45:31What kind of review is that?
45:33I've never read a review where the word species is in it.
45:37Yeah.
45:38We bought ten portions from takeaways and sent them for DNA testing.
45:42I don't think we need to know who the dad is to the fish.
45:45We're not looking for its mum and dad.
45:47It's not finding any more.
45:49Imagine if our fish and chip shops are letting us down.
45:51Imagine what all the other takeaways are doing, Danielle.
45:53Exactly.
45:53The test showed that seven of the samples were cod and haddock,
45:57as advertised.
45:58But the remaining three, which were sold to us as traditional fish,
46:02were in fact a tropical freshwater calf fish known as river cobbler.
46:06Hey, they need a dun-dun-dun.
46:09I love the fact that this is happening, isn't it?
46:11But the sneaky looking Donna Kebab in the corner is spinning round
46:16going, don't ask any questions about me.
46:18You don't want to know the answers here.
46:25Liverpool squeezed through and Brighton were a little unexpected.
46:30Jill Scott and Maisie Adam bring us the Women's FA Cup semi-final
46:33this Sunday at 12.
46:34And Colleen Nolan is being equipped with some naughty toys.
46:39Spare your blushes.
46:40Celebs go dating Monday night at 9.25 on E4.
46:43Or stream the series so far.
46:45Perfect.
46:47Perfect world.
46:50Perfect world.
46:50Perfect world.
46:51Perfect world.
46:52Perfect world.
46:52You
Comments