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Peacemaker - Season 2 - Episode 04: Need I Say Door
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TVTranscript
00:28Transcription by CastingWords
00:56What the fuck is that?
01:06Dad, don't!
01:15Tell me, don't?
01:17This is when I take orders from you.
01:29Dad, there's something over there.
01:31Where he was going.
01:33What the fuck is that?
02:03What the fuck is that?
02:06What the fuck is that?
02:30I'll stitch you, but then I gotta throw you back in.
02:34You just try and sleep, and though you're alone, you just close your eyes before you dream of home.
02:41When the fuck is always on, just keep that in mind.
02:45When you wake in the morning, you'll be satisfied.
02:48Cause there is always a wrong to your right.
02:55And there will always be a wall somewhere to find.
03:02And God knows if it's real fucking years.
03:09Ooh, I'm in love, I'm in love.
03:14Keep on, keep on.
03:43keep on, keep on, keep on.
04:09Lion to Klaus, we'll be there in less than 10 minutes.
04:12Copy, Lion.
04:23What are you looking at?
04:24Remember that time you smashed my car with a truck?
04:26It snuck up behind me and hit me in the head with a tire iron?
04:29Yeah, why?
04:30Curious.
04:31Well, it was a great fucking moment.
04:32Hot take.
04:33You hit this little China man with a tire?
04:35I'm Vietnamese, wild bull suck cock.
04:37And yes, he did.
04:39I wish I killed him.
04:40I wish he was sitting there right now.
04:43Dead.
04:44You wish my corpse was here in front of you?
04:46Yes.
04:47You've been carrying around with you everywhere.
04:48Yeah, because you're small and light and it's a reminder of my victory.
04:51So, you torment my loved ones who'd have to watch you carry around with my dead body.
04:57You're taking it a little too seriously now.
04:59Shit, Ginger Kuhl, you are hardcore.
05:01Hey, fuck you too, asshole.
05:03Oh, shit.
05:04GC is a little upset because we're about to go arrest his friend and kill his favorite parent.
05:09You know, I wasn't going to say anything, but does Bordeaux know that you were making faces when you were
05:14on the phone with her?
05:15I don't know what this man is talking about.
05:17If I was making a face, then that comes with having a face.
05:22What kind of faces?
05:24He winked at me like he had you wrapped around his fucking finger.
05:29You winked at him?
05:31No.
05:31I'll take a polygraph.
05:32I don't give a shit.
05:34If I did, it was a wink like, hey, we're all in this together.
05:37When the fuck does a wink mean we're all in this together?
05:40I'm from Illinois.
05:41It may be some Midwestern thing.
05:43I spent many years in the hills of Illinois hunting balls, and ain't nobody ever winked at my ass to
05:49say we're in this together.
05:51And that there is a point for Hagrid.
05:52I don't want you on my side, you fucking psychopath.
05:55You judge me for ridding the world of beacred vermin when you hit a little incapacitated Chinaman.
06:01You just said he was from Vietnam, asshole.
06:03Well, ain't that one of the places Chinamans come from?
06:06Question, are you the dumbest cunt who's ever existed or just top five?
06:10That ain't nice at all, son.
06:11Shut the fuck up, all of you!
06:13Hey, I didn't say anything.
06:15No, you did, didn't you?
06:43No, you did.
06:44No, you did.
06:46No, you did.
06:46Jesus.
06:51Eagley?
07:04Eagley, what happened?
07:11Clause to line.
07:12Copy?
07:13Copy, Clause.
07:14We're in position.
07:15Waiting on your word.
07:16Less than a minute, Al.
07:17No!
07:19It's not your food.
07:20This is my food.
07:21My food's over here.
07:22Your food's over there.
07:26Fuck it.
07:46Get out.
07:47Get out.
07:48Get out of your house immediately.
07:49Maybe it means immediately.
07:50I don't know.
07:58Argus Tagans.
07:59What the fuck is a Tagan?
08:02Oh, fuck.
08:04Wait.
08:05We'll enter at the front.
08:06Jagger and Klein.
08:07Take your way to the back.
08:08Flurry.
08:09Left side.
08:09Economist in St. Wild.
08:11Right.
08:15Shit.
08:17Oh, you said I didn't have to work with Captain Cultural Appropriation.
08:21Fuck.
08:22Fine.
08:24Shit.
08:31Eagley, we gotta go.
08:34Go, bro.
08:35You gotta go.
08:43Motherfucker.
08:45Ooh, hey, hey, here.
08:47Yep.
08:48Yeah, that's right.
08:49Yeah, baloney.
08:50Yep, come on.
09:03Come on.
09:23Eagle droppings.
09:27That's good.
09:35Ugh.
09:37Four days old.
09:40Hints of cold cuts.
09:44Hater chips.
10:03Yeah.
10:05Yeah!
10:09Come on!
10:10Yeah!
10:12Uh!
10:16Uh!
10:18Uh!
10:19Ugh!
10:19Uh!
10:20Uh!
10:21Uh!
10:22Uh!
10:25Uh!
10:30Uh!
10:33What the hell, bro?
10:35You screwed the world once.
10:36I won't let you do it again.
10:53Oh, bulls.
10:54Hey, goodbye, demonic.
10:58Oh, shit.
11:27Ow!
11:33You're like a piece of toilet paper stuck to my shoe.
11:36I just can't pick off.
11:54Oh, yes.
11:57Oh, snap.
11:59Oh, man, this is so fucking cool.
12:17There we go.
12:19Oh, snap.
12:23Pretty sweet, huh?
12:26Uh-huh.
12:31Hey.
12:39Somebody got a condom.
12:40Oh, thank God.
12:41Oh, man, that was insane.
12:44It's the craziest thing I've...
12:45Oh, my God.
12:46Oh.
12:48What the hell happened?
12:49I came up behind you when you were about to shoot eagle.
12:52That eagle.
12:55Yeah, I remember getting a beat on it, but I can't quite remember anything after.
12:59And then, uh, another eagle.
13:02Another eagle?
13:03Yeah, a second eagle flew in fast and boom, just knocked you over and you slammed into that rock.
13:11No, no, no, no, no.
13:11That don't make no sense, son.
13:13No?
13:13Eagles are solitary creatures.
13:15Yes, that's what's so weird, right?
13:17This could only mean one thing.
13:19Uh-huh.
13:20The eagle I was about to shoot was the primal eagle foretold in Yakima and Miss Kwaki Miss.
13:28What?
13:28The eagle that rules over all the eagles.
13:32Everything in my life has led me to this moment, son.
13:35To kill the primal eagle.
13:38The soul of our country shall be purged of all of our transgressions against all the native and indigenous peoples
13:45of this land.
13:46That's the one thing it could mean?
13:48Because I feel like it could mean a lot of different things.
13:52Nope.
13:52And I feel like you're just making up a bunch of stuff.
13:55Nope.
13:56Just to rationalize your weird desire to kill eagles.
13:58No, sir.
13:59It's kind of strangely condescending to Native Americans.
14:03Oh, well, son, we disagree on some of the specifics.
14:06But at the end of the day, we both agree what's most important.
14:11That so-called eagling needs to die.
14:14We don't agree on that at all.
14:16We most certainly do.
14:17No.
14:18Yes, we do.
14:19Economos, we're done as to see you.
14:21Now.
14:25What happened to you?
14:27My third eye's been opened, son.
14:29Ain't no way the eagle's gonna hide from me now.
14:34Ads!
14:41Eagly!
14:46We gotta go.
14:46Yo, what's going on?
14:47We gotta go fast.
14:48I gotta move the dimensional portal.
14:50You gotta what?
14:51We gotta go, please, ads!
14:52What are you wearing?
14:53Ads, fucking go!
14:54Okay, okay, where?
14:55Head towards Settlers Hills.
14:58Oh, shit.
15:03Fish?
15:03Yeah?
15:04I need you to pick up some doors at Lowe's.
15:09Yeah?
15:10What do you want?
15:10What's your problem, Economos?
15:12Oh, who can say?
15:13I couldn't possibly be upset that I'm teamed up with an insane redneck bird killer
15:18and some little kung fu bulbasaur who once tried to murder me while we try to arrest my friend.
15:25How wacky would that be?
15:27How wacky would that be?
15:39Well, get over it.
15:41I'm not getting paid to deal with your shit.
15:44You are one curmudgeonly motherfucker, Ginger Kool.
15:48Ow!
15:50What the fuck?
15:51I told you not to call me that.
15:53Motherfucker!
15:53Back off, Lurie!
15:55What kind of grown man spits on another person?
15:58Is one of your talents that you can hack the lock on this door?
16:00If I had my equipment.
16:02If I had my equipment.
16:02Where is your equipment?
16:03It's in the mobile unit.
16:05Outside, 20 feet away.
16:07No.
16:08No?
16:09It's 30 feet.
16:10Go fucking get it, John.
16:12Yeah.
16:20We're all in this together, right?
16:27What did you mean you have to move the portal?
16:29I mean, I gotta transfer the door from my dad's house to where we're going if we make it in
16:32time.
16:33Transfer?
16:33Yeah.
16:34You use this to do it.
16:35I don't know if I still can.
16:36I was a kid the last time I did it.
16:37A kid?
16:38Yeah.
16:39Moved it twice.
16:40Once to where we found it in the woods to my dad's trailer.
16:42I think my dad was afraid it was dangerous, so me and Keith do it.
16:46What a champ.
16:47Yeah.
16:47And I did it again myself while we moved to my dad's house.
16:49Your dad didn't make the portal.
16:52No way.
16:52I thought he was some sort of super genius.
16:55Are you fucking kidding?
16:55He flunked out of 10th grade.
16:56So how did he make all them helmets and stuff?
16:59It's, um, complicated.
17:04Yeah?
17:05Yeah, you're gonna get me arrested.
17:06I almost killed a guy while saving Eagly's life.
17:09What?
17:10How?
17:10It's not important.
17:11I'm about to go in there and pick the lock on that closet door.
17:14Economist, I need you to stall him for a little bit.
17:16There isn't time.
17:17Just a little bit.
17:18Okay?
17:19Alright?
17:20I'll try, okay?
17:22Fuck!
17:23I...
17:23Bordeaux sent me out here to help.
17:25Yeah, I don't need help.
17:26I just...
17:27Need this thing.
17:29Okay?
17:33Fuck!
17:34What's so important about this door?
17:37Okay.
17:39Six months ago, right?
17:40I'm fucking around in there with Eagly.
17:42Just letting him fly around.
17:43It's cold outside.
17:44He disappears for a minute.
17:46I go running after him.
17:48I'm yelling, screaming for him.
17:49I find him.
17:50He's by a door that's not mine, but he's squawking at it.
17:53And then I realize the lock is exactly like mine.
17:56And weirder, it's got a rack of peacemaker helmets next to it.
17:59What?
18:01I don't know why, but I tried my dad's code.
18:04It worked.
18:06So I went in, and my dad was there alive.
18:13Chris, this is like after your father died.
18:16It's not.
18:16You saw him then.
18:17It's not the same.
18:17Those visions, they haunted you.
18:19They messed with you.
18:20I was worried, bro.
18:21It's not the same, okay?
18:23This isn't my mind playing tricks on me, alright?
18:25It's one of the 99 doorways to other dimensions in there.
18:28And it leads to a parallel world that's almost exactly like ours.
18:32But it's better.
18:33Better?
18:34Yeah.
18:35It's not just my dad.
18:37It's Keith.
18:39He's alive.
18:42We're best friends.
18:43Him and my dad.
18:45All three of us.
18:46We fight crime together.
18:47They call us the top trio.
18:49The top trio?
18:51Yeah.
18:52It's murals.
18:55Wait, this is it.
18:56Make a lift.
19:12What is this place?
19:14It belonged to my grandfather.
19:15We used to come up here with my dad when we hunted.
19:20Ugh, there's fucking spiders everywhere.
19:23Adrian would love this.
19:25God damn it!
19:26Shoot!
19:35There's different ways to crack this code.
19:38Which way is best?
19:42Hmm.
19:44You don't know?
19:46I'm trying to think through the various possibilities.
19:49Didn't you hack into the CIA when you were 14?
19:52I did.
19:53That's how I got recruited.
19:54Yeah.
19:55You can't hack this?
19:57I can.
19:58I just want to find the best possible way.
20:00And I got caught hacking into the CIA.
20:03And I promised myself I would never make that mistake again.
20:06Quit stalling, John.
20:09Not stalling.
20:10It's a...
20:12It's a...
20:13It's a weird thing to say to a...
20:13Just do whatever ways best.
20:15Fine.
20:28Use this thing.
20:30Great.
20:31Yeah.
20:32This is a...
20:33This is a good thing to...
20:35To use.
20:41Alright, just plug it in.
20:42I mean, obviously it's not a wireless.
20:45I just gotta hook up the leads.
20:49Yeah.
20:57I just have to, uh...
21:00Hit this switch.
21:08Whoa!
21:09Whoa!
21:10What?
21:11You guys hear a cat?
21:12A cat?
21:13Yeah, it sounds like a kitten crying out.
21:16I'm worried it might be stuck in a drawer.
21:18Should we check all this?
21:19I don't care if there's a cat in a drawer.
21:22Okay.
21:23Callous.
21:24Just open it.
21:24Open the door!
21:25Just do it, asshole.
21:28Okay, fine.
21:28As long as we just...
21:29Go back and get the cat afterwards.
21:34That's the purpose I'm sure about.
21:41Whoa!
21:56Okay, here's where I need you to go outside.
21:58Why?
21:58Just do it!
21:59I'll be right behind you.
22:34Why?
22:36I'm going to go outside.
22:38Don't you see anything on the floor?
22:40I'm not gonna play it.
22:42I don't care.
22:44Look, it's not a lucky mess.
22:44That's why, not a good one.
23:02What the fuck?
23:14Shit!
23:20Is that what you wanted it to do?
23:23Maybe.
23:37Whoa.
23:43General, Sasha Bordeaux is on line one.
23:47Sasha.
23:49Nothing.
23:52Why would he have a lock like that on a closet with old sweaters?
23:57Right.
23:59Jeannie, get me an address for Amelia Harcourt.
24:16Oh, my God.
24:29I swear, I'm not a man.
24:32Especially as a man.
24:51Hey, kid.
24:53General, I...
24:54You do not have to call me General.
24:56It's Rick. You know that.
24:58Rick. Right.
25:00Mind if I come in?
25:02Of course, sir.
25:08You doing okay?
25:10Yes, sir. Are you?
25:12Yeah.
25:13Heard you were injured a while back.
25:15Yeah, I broke my back.
25:16Well, it was bullshit.
25:18Oh, right. Congratulations on the promotion.
25:21Director.
25:23Mm-hmm.
25:25You want some coffee, or...?
25:27Sure.
25:28Smidge of milk, no sugar?
25:29Yeah.
25:30Yeah, and yet you can't remember to call me Rick.
25:45Do you remember what you told me after the funeral?
25:54Sir.
25:55Rick.
25:57Rick.
26:00At the end of the day, Smith killed your son because Waller ordered him to.
26:05Yeah, me and Picola Staniel and Ricky in Court of Maltese, we all defied Waller's orders when she went too
26:10far.
26:10Yeah.
26:12I'm not judging you.
26:14I'm sure you miss Ricky, too.
26:17Can't imagine you flew across the country to talk about your son, General.
26:22No?
26:24So you know, you have been blackbooked.
26:31Yeah, I was fairly certain that was the case.
26:34It is.
26:37Waller did it?
26:38Mm-hmm.
26:39On the way out the door, yeah.
26:42So I can't be hired by any of the intelligence agencies for the rest of my life?
26:47That's what it means, yeah.
26:49Fucking.
26:52That is fucking bullshit, to be honest, General.
26:56I know.
26:57I was one among five agents who eradicated an alien threat saving countless lives, and I nearly lost my life
27:04in the process.
27:05I had nothing to do with Amanda Waller's daughter outing her on national TV.
27:09Had Agent Adebayo asked my advice, I would have strongly advised against it and offered other potential solutions for keeping
27:15Agent Smith out of prison.
27:17So I have no fucking idea why I am the one being blackbooked here.
27:22You know Waller, kid.
27:24A woman could hold a grudge.
27:26She needed to blame somebody for corrupting her daughter, and rightly or wrongly, that fell on you.
27:31So my 18 years of service to my country means fucking nothing.
27:35Oh, don't tell me you were in this for the accolades, Amelia.
27:38Accolades I can live without, I'd rather not do without my utilities, which are about to be shut off.
27:42That's why I'm here.
27:47I'm thinking there may be a way for you to get back into good graces of the U.S. government.
27:52Anything.
27:53You have to bring us peacemaker.
28:06My ad just came out in Pro Soldier.
28:09Pro Soldier?
28:10That's right.
28:11Now I'm just waiting for the calls to start rolling in.
28:16Ads Pro Soldier's a scam.
28:18What?
28:19Yeah, nobody reads it.
28:20They make all their money off wannabe mercenaries buying advertising.
28:24How many copies they sell?
28:25I don't know, like 12?
28:271,000?
28:28No.
28:301,200?
28:31Nope.
28:31You see where this is going?
28:33Fuck!
28:33Yeah, 12.
28:35I know all the guys who read it, and they're not hiring anybody.
28:38They're just watching a game show network, collecting their urine in jars, posting on psoriasis, Reddit threads.
28:43I get it.
28:43I get it.
28:44Yeah.
28:46Sorry.
28:49Is there a U in there?
28:51What?
28:53You say there's your dad, there's your brother, but is there a U in there?
29:00I got kind of fucked up.
29:02How?
29:04Well, I didn't mean to, yeah.
29:06Mean to what?
29:08Kill him.
29:10You killed your own self from a parallel dimension?
29:14It was self-defense.
29:15He was going to kill me.
29:16He found me in his room.
29:17Doing what?
29:18Looking at a picture of me and Amelia Harcourt, like, in love.
29:23Back the fuck up.
29:25She's dating Rick Flagg Jr., who's still alive, but really still in love with me.
29:29Rick Flagg Jr. is in love with you?
29:31No!
29:31No, Harcourt.
29:32Wait, okay, this is becoming some fucked up Twilight Zone shit.
29:37Yeah, right.
29:38You ever thought that maybe there ain't another dimension at all?
29:41What?
29:42Like, maybe you walk through that door in there, and you're in some sort of world that messes with your
29:47mind and gives you whatever it is you wanted, but none of it's real.
29:52No, I'm pretty sure it's real.
29:53At the end of the day, does it matter?
29:55Yeah.
29:56Why?
29:58You can't be thinking about going back in there.
30:00I have to.
30:01Why?
30:02First off, my brother, okay?
30:04Losing him as a kid, that was the worst moment of my life.
30:07Now he's got to lose me if I don't...
30:09He already lost his brother if you killed him, Chris.
30:11You don't understand.
30:12Maybe I do.
30:13I owe Amelia an explanation about something.
30:15About what?
30:16Whether or not I want to explore a relationship with her.
30:20What?
30:20I'm not just going to fucking stand the girl up.
30:21She's damaged enough.
30:22He cheated on her.
30:23Dude, if it's real, which I still very much doubt, she thinks you're somebody else.
30:28No, not really.
30:29We have the same DNA.
30:30I passed the fucking eye test.
30:31What's an eye test?
30:32They put the thing over your eye.
30:34Like at the airport?
30:35Yes.
30:36Yeah.
30:37It's like me, except more of a dick with the worst tasting clothes.
30:40I find that hard to believe.
30:42Look what I'm wearing.
30:43Looks like a Saudi prince vomited his fucking dining room all over me.
30:46You're wearing his clothes.
30:47You think I bought this, Ads?
30:49It's fucking hateful.
30:51Chris, no matter how green the grass is over there, our biggest problems in life are the
30:57ones that we carry within ourselves.
30:59Everything else evens out.
31:01This is where God puts you.
31:03You belong here.
31:06Maybe I don't.
31:07Why?
31:08Maybe the universe fucked up, Ads, you know?
31:10You know, maybe I belong in there, and my asshole doppelganger belongs here.
31:14But some fucking cosmic occurrence switched us.
31:17So I end up in the dark dimension, where I can't catch a fucking break.
31:21He ends up in the land of goodness and light, with a brother who's still alive, and a father
31:25who fucking loves him.
31:27The good us.
31:29Where I'm a fucking hero.
31:32It don't feel right, Chris.
31:36Pop, pop, pop, peacemaker!
31:38Oh.
31:39Hey, Ads.
31:40Hey, Adrian.
31:41Um, I got some doors and hinges, just like you asked.
31:45Ooh, quantum unfolding chamber?
31:48Sick.
31:49I've been in there a bunch of times, you know, best friend stuff.
31:52And I bet there's another me in there somewhere.
31:54Do you think?
31:55I don't know, Adrian.
31:56Let's see if we can fill one of those doors on here.
31:59Okay.
32:14I don't know.
32:20Mm.
32:24Hmm.
32:25Mm.
32:28Hmm.
32:30Mm.
32:56I need to borrow your ride.
32:58Where are you going?
33:00See you, Harcourt.
33:03Is that safe?
33:05I need her to answer her question
33:06before I know what to do next.
33:13Take the phone.
33:15I don't trust him.
33:16Watch him.
33:28Did you find anything out?
33:31Amelia, this is your one shot getting back in the good graces of Argus.
33:34This is bullshit.
33:36I don't deserve this and neither does he.
33:38Amelia.
33:39I'm going to meet him now.
33:42Kupferberg Park at Hartley and Vermont.
33:45I'll keep him occupied and distracted and then you come in.
33:48It better be more than just these two bozos.
33:50These what?
33:53You're not taking the Peacemaker down alone.
33:56We'll have everyone there.
34:00You're doing the right thing, Amelia.
34:04I know you.
34:25I've been hiding for far too long.
34:29Seems like forever been singing all this song.
34:35And I've forever been singing all this song.
34:48All things I've seen, what has been done, has turned another man to a rolling stone.
34:59I've been struck down, lying on the ground, with a bitter taste I'm loathing in my mouth.
35:08I've been hiding for far too long.
35:13Seems like forever been singing all this song.
35:18I've been trying to act for long.
35:23Seems like forever been singing all this song.
35:28And I've forever been singing all this song.
35:33And when I was, no way close and close.
35:37Knowing what I do can never be undone.
35:41Knowing what I do can never be undone.
35:42But what a mercy on those souls.
35:47And my retaliation strikes us about to fall.
35:51I've been hiding for far too long.
35:56Seems like forever been singing all this song.
36:02I've been trying to act for long.
36:06Seems like forever been singing all this song.
36:08Settlers Hills.
36:10I got you, motherfucker.
36:40Just singing all this song.
36:54I've been trying too hard to love
36:58Seems like forever
37:00Been singing out this song
37:03Yeah, I'm singing
37:04I've been hiding for a while
37:07Seems like forever
37:10Been singing out this song
37:16I've been hiding for far and far
37:20Seems like forever
37:22Been singing out this song
37:25I've been trying too hard to love
37:29Seems like forever
37:32Been singing out this song
37:35And I'm forever
37:36Been singing out this song
37:39And there I was
37:41Lying on the ground
37:44With a bitter taste of loathing in my mouth
37:48Eagle droppings
37:56Four days old
37:58Hints of cold cut tater chips
38:00No
38:01I get hints of peppermint
38:03Spam
38:04Twizzlers
38:04M&M's
38:05Pretty pebbles
38:07I get it
38:08And protein powder
38:10Whoa, whoa, whoa
38:11Tikka masala
38:12Come on, man
38:13You can't really tell
38:13I'm a beans
38:14Pet thai
38:15A5 Wagyu
38:17He ate all that
38:18Since his fucking last shit
38:21Beluga caviar
38:22There's no fucking way
38:23You know what beluga caviar tastes like
38:25Oh my god
38:26That eagle eats better than I do
38:28That eagle
38:29That eagle
38:30The eagle
38:30The eagle
38:30That eagle
38:31That eagle
38:40You
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