- 4 hours ago
South Park - Season 27 - Episode 04: Wok is Dead
Category
📺
TVTranscript
00:00MTV
00:31Come on down south by there and meet some friends, man.
00:42Betsy! Betsy! Guess what?
00:45My dad took me to the Asian pop-up store. Look what I got!
00:49Serenity LaBooBoo!
00:50Oh, it's so cute!
00:52Isn't it?
00:53I was at the Asian pop-up, too!
00:54No way!
00:55Yeah, look what I got!
00:57Loyalty LaBooBoo!
00:58Oh, my God! It's so cute!
01:01I know, right?
01:02Yeah, I love it!
01:03Oh, dude, dude, check it out. It's about to happen again.
01:06Ah, shit.
01:07I actually have Loyalty LaBooBoo already, and I got a little costume for it.
01:11That is seriously so cute!
01:14Kenny, you guys! Girls with LaBooBoo's! It's about to happen again!
01:17Oh, hey, LaBoo!
01:18Come on!
01:18And then, believe it or not, I actually have Chesmet Coco LaBooBoo.
01:23No way! That is the rarest one!
01:25Isn't it so cute?
01:27It's so stinkin' cute, but it's really rare. Are you sure it's not a knockoff?
01:31Oh, dog, here we go.
01:32Yeah, I checked!
01:33If anyone's fake, it's probably yours, you fat bitch!
01:36Suck it, skank!
01:37Eat shit, stupid slut!
01:39Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
01:43Yeah! Yeah!
01:45Yeah!
01:45Boo!
01:46Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
01:48Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
01:49Break it up! Break it up!
01:51She's rubbing everyone's noses in her LaBooBoo's!
01:53Both of you to the counselor's office!
01:55Now!
01:57She totally started it!
01:58Oh my god, shut up!
01:59I did not!
02:00She came up to me at my locker with her LaBooBoo and started talking shit!
02:03You talk shit about my LaBooBoo's every day, whore!
02:09Um...
02:10Yay! Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you!
02:13Tell her to stop saying my LaBooBoo's are knockoffs!
02:16I'm sorry, what is a LaBooBoo?
02:19It's a little monster accessory!
02:21They come in blind boxes, so you never know which one you're gonna get!
02:24Like you could just look out and get a time-to-chill-pajama gold LaBooBoo!
02:27Oh my god, that one is so cute!
02:29It's so cute, right?
02:31All right, ladies.
02:32Why don't you just give me the dolls until the end of the school day?
02:36That's not fair!
02:37Go on out to recess and you can pick up your LaBooBoo's after school.
02:41Wow, what kind of counseling was that?
02:43I don't know.
02:44Jesus sucks, dude.
02:45Our old counselor was so much better.
02:59Yeah, yeah, yeah. Get some more over there.
03:01This side's starting to fall.
03:02We are the kings of the castle! Let us in!
03:05Hey, Butters.
03:07Oh, well, uh...
03:08Hey, Red.
03:10Um, I was just wondering...
03:12what you're doing this weekend.
03:18Who, me?
03:19Yeah.
03:20I'm...
03:20I'm having a birthday party at my house
03:22and I was seeing if maybe
03:24you'd want to come hang out?
03:29You're talking about me?
03:30Yeah, I don't know.
03:31It's probably stupid.
03:32I shouldn't have asked. Never mind.
03:34No, no, no.
03:35I'd love to come hang out with you on your birthday, Red.
03:37Really? You would?
03:38Well, sure.
03:39Okay, that's great.
03:40I'll text you all the details.
03:42Okay, Red. I'll see you then.
03:44Okay.
03:44And, um, maybe I'll text you my birthday wish list, too,
03:47in case, you know, you want to get me a present.
03:49Sure thing!
03:54Oh, my God, you guys.
03:55Red wants to hang out with me!
03:57That's incredible!
03:59Bro, it seems like she really likes you.
04:03Really excited to see you Saturday.
04:06Whoa!
04:07Me and Red!
04:09Lucky!
04:10Here is my birthday gift wish list.
04:16This exact boo-boo-boo.
04:21Holy shit, you guys.
04:22You know what I think?
04:25I think on Saturday, I'm going to find out if red-haired girls have a red bush.
04:30Wow!
04:41Welcome to Shitty Asian Pop-Up Store.
04:44Can I take an autoprice?
04:46Wait, didn't this place used to be Shitty Walk?
04:49Yeah, but the whole country changed.
04:51Didn't you hear the news?
04:53Walk is dead.
04:54This shitty pop-up now, what do you like to have?
04:57We got a shitty pop-up keychain, shitty cell phone charm, shitty anime sculpture.
05:01Well, actually, I'm looking for a la-boo-boo.
05:04Oh, yeah, I want love a la-boo-boo.
05:06They very hard to keep in stock.
05:08Very expensive because of tariff.
05:10You know what?
05:10It's really important.
05:12I got this new girlfriend, and she wants this specific la-boo-boo for her birthday.
05:15Oh, that very rare, la-boo-boo.
05:18You only find that in a mystery box.
05:20Mystery box?
05:21Hi, are you guys still serving food?
05:23No, no, no.
05:24Walk is dead.
05:25Haven't you heard the news?
05:27Can't I just buy this la-boo-boo?
05:29No, that's not the way it works.
05:30You buy mystery box.
05:32You open it.
05:32Hopefully, you get the one you want.
05:34Okay, how much is a mystery box?
05:37$85.
05:38$85?
05:39Yeah, you got to pay tariff.
05:41You think I pay tariff?
05:42No, no, no, no.
05:42You pay tariff.
05:44Okay, I'll take one.
05:59Yeah, well, walk is dead, you stupid bitch.
06:01So stop a-nagging me.
06:03Aw, dang it.
06:05This is the wrong one.
06:06Aw, yeah, that's just happiness, la-boo-boo.
06:08Very common, very common.
06:10You try again.
06:11$85.
06:12I have to pay another $85, and I still might not get the one I want?
06:15Hey, it's not me, it's your government.
06:18I don't get fucked by tariff.
06:19You get fucked by tariff.
06:21In China, we call that hot potato.
06:24You're watching Vox News.
06:27The president has just returned from his historic tariff summit overseas.
06:32There's the president now, looking handsome as ever.
06:35Oh, and there's the Prince of Darkness, who's been traveling with the president as of late.
06:40The president has made his way off of Air Force One and will now speak to a diverse crowd of
06:44reporters.
06:45Overhand, overhand, overhand, overhand, Mr. President.
06:46Mr. President, how did the tariff meetings go?
06:49Ah, they weren't great, buddy.
06:51Mr. President, we're all dying to know something.
06:55Your wife Melania has been staying in New York and away from the White House.
06:59That's right.
07:00Well, what Fox News really wants to know is, are you fucking Satan?
07:07No, I'm not fucking Satan.
07:09We're just sort of hanging out.
07:12Oh, come on, President Trump.
07:13With everything you've been doing, pretty much the whole country thinks you're fucking Satan now.
07:18I'm not fucking Satan.
07:20Can we go, please?
07:24He is fucking Satan.
07:26That guy's definitely fucking Satan.
07:28What a stud.
07:29Yeah, Fox News.
07:32All right, everyone, listen up.
07:34As you know, there's a lot being done in the country to bring Christian values back to our schools.
07:37Our new school counselor has some concerns that I understand he'd like to voice.
07:41Go ahead, Jesus.
07:44Well, I'm just a bit confused about the dramatic rise in fist fighting over these labuboos.
07:50Oh, yeah.
07:51Oh, the labubos.
07:52Kids go nuts for them.
07:54I just don't quite understand what the fascination is.
07:57Well, they're just the new fad of the month, you know.
08:00They make them scarce and hard to find a secret one.
08:02Yeah, and then all the kids make their labuboos TikToks.
08:06Labuboos TikTok?
08:07Yeah, the kids make them and they watch them.
08:09I can pull one up.
08:09This is Kelly Bronson from Mrs. Turner's class.
08:12Hey, guys.
08:13This is another labuboos unboxing video.
08:15I got this labuboos online.
08:17I'm pretty sure it's not a labuboos.
08:18I got the QR code right here.
08:19We're going to see what we got.
08:21I hope it's a rare one.
08:22If it is, I'm absolutely going to freak out.
08:24Okay, let's see.
08:25Let's see.
08:25Let's see.
08:27Labuboos.
08:29Labuboos.
08:30Oh, my God.
08:32Oh, my God.
08:33Okay, okay.
08:34Let's start the ritual.
08:37Labuboos.
08:41Labuboos.
08:42Labuboos.
08:42Labuboos.
08:43Labuboos.
08:43Labuboos.
08:44Labuboos.
08:48Labuboos.
08:56What the hell was that?
08:57That's a Labuboos unboxing TikTok.
08:59Kids go nuts for him.
09:02But that's like some dark satanic ritual.
09:04Oh, yeah.
09:05Labuboos are demonic.
09:06Yeah, dark magic.
09:08I don't know if they come that way from China or their kids are infusing them with some Sumerian
09:11dark entity.
09:12It's Mesopotamian.
09:13Got it.
09:13So what are your major concerns, Jesus?
09:18Bro, that's not normal.
09:20These kids are in trouble.
09:22Yeah, that's why every school needs a counselor.
09:38Welcome, shitty pop-up.
09:39Take all the pre.
09:40I have $88.42 in here.
09:43I need to buy another mystery box.
09:45Oh, sorry.
09:46Labuboos mystery box, $120.
09:48What?
09:49It was $85.
09:50Yeah, yeah.
09:51Tariff went up.
09:52You never know with tariff.
09:53They make no stands.
09:54But that's not fair.
09:56Yeah, no shit, tariff.
09:57Not fair.
09:57Please, sir.
09:58My girlfriend's party is today.
10:00And I have to get the Labuboos she wants.
10:02Please.
10:03It's okay.
10:04It's okay.
10:04I have idea.
10:06You want mystery box for cheap price?
10:08You use crime machine.
10:10You try your luck.
10:11Use a crime machine.
10:12You get a mystery box.
10:13Open it up.
10:14Hopefully, you get the Labuboos you want.
10:18Labuboos.
10:20Labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu labu.
10:27Oh, you're so close.
10:28Try again.
10:29Oh, jeez.
10:33Oh, here we go.
10:37I get screwed by tab, so I have to screw the children.
10:40What do you not understand?
10:42Hm.
10:43Yeah, well, walk not coming back, bitch.
10:48Go walk, go block.
10:52Thank you for coming, Mrs. Paxton, Mrs. Gray.
10:54Hey, the reason I called you in today is because your girls were in a major altercation over
10:59their Labuboos.
11:01Okay, so what are you going to do about it?
11:03Well, I was hoping we could work together to maybe just keep them away from the Labuboos.
11:08Oh, sure.
11:09Just take their Labuboos away.
11:10Great counseling.
11:12Look, I have reason to believe that the students are using Labuboos for some kind of ritual.
11:18Yeah, but to do that, you have to have a super rare one.
11:20They're the only ones girls can use in dark rituals.
11:22You know that they're demonic?
11:25Yeah.
11:25What are we supposed to do?
11:27My daughter sees Kelly Miller summoning demonic forces on TikTok, then she wants to be like
11:31Kelly Miller.
11:33Did Kelly Miller summon demonic forces?
11:35I don't know.
11:36She hung herself.
11:37Well, we should probably keep the girls off of TikTok.
11:40Oh, yeah.
11:40Just keep them off TikTok.
11:42That's some clever counseling there.
11:44Do you have kids?
11:45No, I don't.
11:46Figures.
11:46Well, when you do, you try and keep them off of TikTok and out of the Asian pop-up store.
11:51Wait.
11:51What is an Asian pop-up store?
11:53That's where the girls get all the Labuboos.
11:56Where did they find this guy?
11:57We told you he was a crappy counselor.
12:01This is a Fox News alert!
12:04As debates on American tariffs continue, the question on every American's mind tonight,
12:10is President Trump fucking Satan?
12:13The president's been seen less and less with his wife and more often with his new pal,
12:17making people all around the world say Donald Trump has got to be fucking Satan for sure.
12:22Well, for all of us who are still skeptical that President Trump is fucking Satan,
12:26Fox News has obtained some footage of President Trump seeming to be fucking Satan.
12:31This was at a golf course yesterday where the president was heroically golfing.
12:35You can just make out Satan going behind a bush and President Trump right there,
12:38he's fucking Satan.
12:40Karen, what do you think?
12:41I think the president is definitely fucking Satan, and I love it.
12:45Of course, a lot of Americans still argue there's no way the president could be fucking Satan.
12:49So we have a body language expert to show us just how it is possible.
12:54Well, if Mr. President Trump is fucking Satan,
12:57and I'm not saying if he is or he isn't, I'm just kind of hoping he is,
13:00he mostly likely is coming in from the back.
13:03Now, Satan has a pretty large physical presence,
13:06so we're pretty sure President Trump would have to get on top of him.
13:09Oh my God, the president is doing things no other president has done before.
13:12I love him.
13:14You don't think President Trump is fucking Satan!
13:16This definitely proves how he could be!
13:20I love him.
13:22I love him.
13:24I love him.
13:27I love him.
13:29Welcome to shitty Asian pop-up store.
13:32Take all the pee.
13:33Are you the one that has been selling all these libuboos to my students?
13:37Oh boy.
13:39Look, it's not my fault these shitty prices, okay?
13:41Libuboos very expensive.
13:43Those dolls you are selling are cursed.
13:45Yeah, no shit they curse.
13:46It's called tariff.
13:47You pass it along.
13:49I get a curse, I put the curse on you.
13:51It's like AIDS.
13:52Oh my God, I got it!
13:54I got the super rare!
13:56Hey, what the hell are you talking about?
13:57This is the one my girlfriend wants.
13:59Now I can take it to her birthday party.
14:01My child, put that down.
14:02It's dangerous.
14:03Hey, hold on.
14:04That's super rare, the boo-boo.
14:06That worth like $600.
14:07You gotta pay more tariff.
14:13Oh my God, we go away!
14:15Listen, both of you, there are more important issues at hand.
14:19My child, you cannot take that to a birthday party.
14:23Oh shit, where you go?
14:24What the hell are you talking about?
14:56I do not understand.
14:58If you do not want to be here, then why do you stay?
15:03I am forced to stay by the dark tides of destiny.
15:08I wanted to leave months ago, but I cannot.
15:13Because of what's in this box.
15:19What's in the box?
15:21The secret none must know.
15:24And yet all will soon discover.
15:28I can feel the tides of change.
15:32The final showdown is upon us.
15:55Happy birthday, Red.
15:57What is...
15:58Wait.
15:59Is that what I think it is?
16:00Well, you'll have to wait till you open it and find out if you...
16:04Oh, all right then.
16:11I love you, Butters!
16:13Wow!
16:14I got it, you guys!
16:16Oh, wow!
16:17Oh, it's so cute!
16:19I got the super rare, all thanks to Butters!
16:22So, are you going to do it?
16:24Yeah, we're going to go upstairs and do it!
16:26Whoa, we're going to what?
16:28Come up to my room, Butters!
16:29Oh my God!
16:31Hey, if anyone wants to watch us do it, come on up!
16:34Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah!
16:36Oh, this is not Little Shud and Red!
16:38Wait!
16:46South Park Elementary, I'm sorry we're closed.
16:49Beth, I need to know which of the students has a birthday today!
16:52Who is this?
16:53It's me, Jesus!
16:55Who?
16:56The school counselor!
16:58Oh, I don't know who has a birthday today.
17:01That was actually always the counselor's job.
17:03Can you just look it up in the school records, please?
17:06Hang on.
17:07Guess I'm doing your job too now.
17:11Okay, okay, oh my God, I'm so excited to finally do it!
17:15Well, yeah, I guess I'm excited to do it too, Red.
17:18Okay, I think we're all ready.
17:20Here, you take a video of the whole thing.
17:22Oh, can't we just kiss first?
17:25Hey, what's up guys?
17:26This is my TikTok La Boo Boo video.
17:28I got the super rare, so let's see if it works.
17:30Hey, we want to watch!
17:31Yeah, come on in, you guys!
17:36La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo
17:44Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La
17:46Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo,
17:46La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo
17:46Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La
17:50Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo,
17:56La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo
17:57Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La Boo Boo, La
17:59Boo Boo, La Boo, La Boo
18:06We call the demonic forces!
18:09Appear before us at my birthday party!
18:11This is so cool!
18:15Ta-da!
18:17Ew!
18:19Wait, that thing is fucking Satan?
18:21No, I'm not fucking Satan!
18:28This is the FAST NEWS!
18:30Super alert!
18:31We may just have another Trump and Satan spotting.
18:35The two are rumored to be in a small mountain town in the Rockies.
18:38Let's go to our Colorado affiliate.
18:41Yeah, guys, there's definitely black clouds and swarms of locusts here.
18:45Uh, probably another labubu party.
18:47You know, whenever there's a labubu party, the president and Satan usually make an appearance.
18:51We've got our eye in the sky now.
18:53Guys, what are you seeing?
18:54Yeah, you can see little girls running and screaming.
18:57The president just coming out onto the front lawn.
19:00And yes, there is Satan.
19:01And they're definitely hanging out.
19:04Come on, let's go!
19:06Lucifer!
19:11So, it is you.
19:13Just what are you doing, Satan?
19:15I will know!
19:19Okay, it looks like Jesus Christ is now on the scene for some kind of biblical showdown.
19:24I have seen your evil at work, Satan.
19:26I bid you leave this realm at once.
19:29You think I don't want to leave?
19:31I am bound to him!
19:34Bound to him how?
19:35All right, fine, here!
19:38You all want to know the truth?
19:42Yes!
19:43We're together!
19:45We've been together for months!
19:47And I want to leave him!
19:49But I can't!
19:52Because...
19:52I'm pregnant!
20:03He's pregnant?
20:06So now you all know, I am forced to stay in this situation for several more years.
20:16Uh, Satan is saying he's been trapped at the White House because he's pregnant.
20:21Uh, let's get our science expert in here to see if that's actually possible?
20:25Yeah, uh, demonic pregnancies work a little different.
20:29The term is butt baby.
20:32All right, well that seems to be it.
20:34Satan is pregnant with the president's child.
20:36So Fox News can now confirm, Donald Trump has been fucking Satan this whole time!
20:43Yeah!
20:44This is a great day for Fox News!
20:46Yes!
20:46For Fox News!
20:47For all the doubters who thought Donald Trump wasn't fucking Satan,
20:51in your face!
20:52We're gonna check in now with Kid Rock.
20:54Kid, you must be overcome with emotion.
20:57I just...
20:58I just honestly didn't think the president was fucking Satan, but...
21:01Now knowing that he has been this whole time, I'm just so happy.
21:10Well, I hope you guys learned a valuable lesson.
21:14If you mess around, and you aren't safe, it can have really big consequences.
21:21Yeah, I'm not having sex for a long time.
21:24And I'm done with la boo-boos.
21:25Well, that's good, because as your counselor, I'm banning la boo-boos from school.
21:30And TikTok, and cell phones.
21:33Now get back to class, you both have detention for two weeks.
21:36Aw, man.
21:38Wow, new counselor's kind of a dick.
21:40Yeah, but he's better than the last guy.
21:47La boo-boos, la boo-boos, la boo-boos.
22:21Have a great night.
22:22Bye-bye.
22:23Bye-bye.
22:23Bye-bye.
22:24True love.
22:24Bye-bye.
22:25Bye-bye.
22:25You
Comments