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00:00:11Tonight is the big one.
00:00:13Four comedians will deliver the most important set of their lives.
00:00:16And it's all in your hands.
00:00:18You, the global audience at home, will determine our winner.
00:00:22Welcome to the live finale of Funny AF.
00:00:39The comedian going through to tomorrow's live finale is the drummer, Ron, Caitlyn, and
00:00:48Red.
00:00:49This is it.
00:00:51The finale.
00:00:52One final performance to go from dreaming of stardom to being a star by winning their
00:00:58very own Netflix special.
00:01:00Tonight, the power to pick that star is yours with live voting in real time.
00:01:06Growing up, I was like praying five times a day.
00:01:08I was going to the mosque every day.
00:01:09Then I had sex once, and I was like, God might not be real.
00:01:13I got invited to a Friendsgiving that turned out to be an orgy.
00:01:16And I was like, buy the key lime pie!
00:01:19You eat animals?
00:01:20That's terrible.
00:01:21That's like eating your pet.
00:01:22I ain't gonna eat my pet, but I eat your pet.
00:01:25I think there should be a special sex ed class for boys.
00:01:28I want Sesame Street teaching this shit.
00:01:30I want a finger me Elmo in every classroom.
00:01:34Who's your next comedy legend?
00:01:36This will be the most important day of my life.
00:01:38I'm just going balls to the wall.
00:01:40I'm going as hard as I can.
00:01:41If you like loud bitches, vote for me.
00:01:43It's time to bring the heat to you.
00:01:46Tonight, you will crown our champion.
00:01:57Yeah!
00:02:01Thank you!
00:02:04Thank you!
00:02:17Sit down!
00:02:19Sit down!
00:02:21Sit down!
00:02:23Sit down!
00:02:24Sit down!
00:02:25Thank you guys so much.
00:02:28Much appreciated, as usual.
00:02:31I want to welcome you guys.
00:02:32I want to welcome you guys to our top four comics.
00:02:35And I also want to let you know, man, these top four comics have killed it at every stage of
00:02:39this competition.
00:02:41Got to understand, to make it to this moment, it's a big fucking deal.
00:02:44It's a really big deal.
00:02:45And now that they've made it here, well, they got one last shot.
00:02:47They got one last shot, because in the next hour, you, watching live at home, you get to pick the
00:02:53winner.
00:02:56And the prize?
00:02:58Well, the prize is the most coveted opportunity in comedy.
00:03:01It's a one-hour Netflix comedy special.
00:03:05Yes.
00:03:08Huge.
00:03:10Huge!
00:03:13You know, with this show, I set out to find the next great stand-up comedian.
00:03:20A voice that doesn't just belong to the next generation of comedy.
00:03:22A voice that doesn't just belong to the next generation of comedy.
00:03:23But it defines it.
00:03:25Right?
00:03:25Someone original.
00:03:26Someone undeniable.
00:03:28Someone that has the kind of presence that shifts the room and reminds you why stand-up comedy matters in
00:03:33the first place.
00:03:34The big question is, well, who will win it all?
00:03:37Once again, it's not up to me.
00:03:38It's up to you.
00:03:39It's up to you at home.
00:03:41Okay?
00:03:42So, what I want to do right now, I want to do a quick little test to vote.
00:03:45All right?
00:03:46I just want to make sure that you've got everything down, that you know what you're doing.
00:03:49All right?
00:03:49The question's below.
00:03:50Here's the question below.
00:03:51I want you to get to it.
00:03:52Vote right now on your TV.
00:03:55On your TV.
00:03:56Get your remote.
00:03:57Get your remote.
00:03:58Get your lazy ass up and get your fucking remote.
00:04:03See, I want to make sure that you guys understand this, man.
00:04:05Everybody at home watching this on the platform, you have somebody's career in your fucking hands.
00:04:11So, don't be a lazy ass and avoid the opportunity to fucking vote.
00:04:16Get your ass up.
00:04:17Get your control.
00:04:21Use the device.
00:04:25Now, I don't mean to cuss at you.
00:04:27I'm sorry.
00:04:27I'm passionate.
00:04:28I'm hyped right now.
00:04:29Guys, when I say go vote, understand that you have one minute.
00:04:31You have one minute to vote.
00:04:33If you're having any trouble voting, here's what you can do.
00:04:36You can, uh...
00:04:37I mean, I can't do much for you.
00:04:38You can go...
00:04:39Go online.
00:04:40Go to the Netflix Help Center.
00:04:41Uh, and from there, you're on your own.
00:04:43I don't know what the fuck happens after that.
00:04:45Okay?
00:04:45Wait.
00:04:46The results...
00:04:46The results are coming in right now, and it looks like...
00:04:50It looks like most of you are planning to vote.
00:04:51Okay, good.
00:04:52That's the question at the bottom.
00:04:53Most of you are planning to do the right thing.
00:04:55These comics are going to need you tonight.
00:04:58I cannot stress that enough.
00:04:59They need you.
00:05:01All right?
00:05:01With that being said, who's ready for a great show?
00:05:07That's not good enough.
00:05:10That's not good enough.
00:05:13Yeah.
00:05:15Yeah.
00:05:17Yeah.
00:05:19That's what I want to hear.
00:05:21Joining me for the final showdown are two comedy legends.
00:05:26Two comedy legends who've been essential to getting us to this point.
00:05:30This very moment.
00:05:31Okay?
00:05:32They have both delivered specials on their own.
00:05:35Amazing specials.
00:05:36So they know how big of a deal this is.
00:05:38Guys, do me a favor.
00:05:39Please show your love for my pals, Tom Segura and Nikki Glaser.
00:05:42Yes!
00:06:02Welcome back, guys.
00:06:04It's so great to be back.
00:06:05I'm so excited for tonight.
00:06:07First and foremost, Nikki, you look beautiful.
00:06:09Tom, you look amazing.
00:06:11I gotta say, guys, thank you for being a part of the process.
00:06:14Oh, this is so fun.
00:06:15The comics that have made it this far have went through a crazy amount of stages to get
00:06:21here and your voices and your, let's say, like your breakdowns as to what you liked, what
00:06:27you didn't like.
00:06:27All of that stuff was necessary.
00:06:29It was all needed.
00:06:29But this moment, this moment right now, for our audience watching at home, for our audience
00:06:33that's live with us, can you revert back to anything with this type of pressure that
00:06:39you had to experience in your career, Nikki?
00:06:40Oh, yeah.
00:06:41I mean, tonight is such a huge night.
00:06:43We are really going to crown the next comedy star, I believe, and change someone's life
00:06:48with a Netflix special, and I could, I was thinking back about when I got my first Netflix
00:06:52special, everything changed after that.
00:06:54You're suddenly going to clubs and people are coming out to see you as opposed to just
00:06:58because they have a Groupon or they won tickets on the radio.
00:07:01Yeah.
00:07:01Like, when you are able to go, show up in a place and people are there to see you, that's
00:07:05a defining moment that I don't think most people understand is, like, happens in a
00:07:08comic's life.
00:07:09That's...
00:07:09And that, that was the changing moment for me.
00:07:11So tonight someone's gonna get their first Netflix special.
00:07:13It's insane.
00:07:14Huge.
00:07:15It's a big deal.
00:07:17Tom.
00:07:17Tom.
00:07:18Yeah.
00:07:18Uh, Yvette in the game, man.
00:07:20You know, you've been in the comedy game for quite some time.
00:07:23A tremendous amount of success you have and that you still are having.
00:07:26Can you go back to any moment in your career that gives you the same level of pressure
00:07:31that our four comics performing tonight are going to experience?
00:07:34Well, I mean, this is live, so these are, they, they got bigger balls than me.
00:07:37But, um, I remember when I did my, my half hour special the first time and they were
00:07:43like, this is gonna change your career and it definitely did not, did nothing.
00:07:49But, the thing that did, the half hour did shit.
00:07:54The half hour was worth it.
00:07:55But, I'll tell you, Kev, what did change my career was the first time I got a Netflix special.
00:08:00There you go.
00:08:01That changed my career.
00:08:02There you go.
00:08:03There you go.
00:08:04It is a massive deal.
00:08:06A massive deal.
00:08:07And, Nikki, I love what you said.
00:08:09You know, it's all about the difference and understanding when you have fans that resonate
00:08:13with what you do with your craft that are now coming out to see you.
00:08:16It's game changing.
00:08:16Yeah.
00:08:17And to people that are watching at home and, and finding their new favorite comic for the
00:08:21first time on the show, look them up.
00:08:23Go see them at a club near you.
00:08:24These people are touring all the time.
00:08:26They're coming to places near you.
00:08:27Go see live comedy and support them.
00:08:29Go see live comedy.
00:08:29Yes.
00:08:30Yes.
00:08:30Not just us.
00:08:30Go to little comedy clubs, strip malls.
00:08:34Yes.
00:08:34Go see it.
00:08:35All right.
00:08:35Guys, I don't want to waste time.
00:08:36I want to get to it, man.
00:08:38Uh, listen.
00:08:39Guys, you have to make a big sacrifice.
00:08:41We all do.
00:08:42Especially in this career.
00:08:42You gotta make sacrifices to follow your comedy dream.
00:08:45But this guy, well, he went above and beyond.
00:08:48Here is Usama Siddiqui.
00:08:55Fourteen years ago, I just had done the MCAT, which is the entrance exam for medical school.
00:09:00Uh, and I had this inkling in my body to do comedy.
00:09:04I told, uh, my mom and dad the day before I was going to med school,
00:09:08Hey, I'm gonna do comedy.
00:09:10And they loved it.
00:09:12They loved it.
00:09:12They were like, are you gay too?
00:09:13Please.
00:09:14Let's just go all the way.
00:09:15They were completely devastated.
00:09:18When I came to New York to go for it, it was like, my friend who's a comic had like
00:09:22this squatter's den he was living in in Canarsie.
00:09:24And he was like, hey man, you can live here.
00:09:26There's no water supply, but there's no rent.
00:09:28There it is.
00:09:29That's the house.
00:09:30The crack villa.
00:09:31There was a port-a-potty that we had to use and like every four days in the night we'd
00:09:36like carry this vat full of piss and we'd just like pour it into the sewage system.
00:09:40And I was just living like that and I felt so good.
00:09:42I was like just doing as much comedy as humanly possible because I was like, I love this more than
00:09:47I hate the circumstances.
00:09:49The single most powerful thing you can do as a comic is release a Netflix special.
00:09:53So I hope to make my parents proud and make everything worth it.
00:09:59All right.
00:10:00Give it up for Usama Siddiqui!
00:10:11Keep it going.
00:10:13Keep it going.
00:10:18All right.
00:10:19All right.
00:10:19All right.
00:10:20Sit down.
00:10:21Sit down.
00:10:21Hold up.
00:10:28L.A., how are we doing?
00:10:33I love L.A.
00:10:34My uncle.
00:10:35I was hanging out with him all day.
00:10:3685 years old.
00:10:38Some of us got the 80 plus.
00:10:40Fam.
00:10:41We love them.
00:10:42Um, they be saying random stuff, right?
00:10:45We're just hanging out watching YouTube out of nowhere.
00:10:47He's like, I don't like li...
00:10:51I'm like, what? He's like, I don't like living.
00:10:56Pretty sad, right?
00:10:57What made this sadder is that he said this
00:10:59while we were watching one of my stand-up videos.
00:11:03Ouch.
00:11:04He's like, this is not comedy.
00:11:06I will show you some comedy.
00:11:08He starts typing in, Asians are very...
00:11:11I unplugged the TV, bro, I don't know where he's going with that.
00:11:16I love my uncle, man, he's the best homophobe I know.
00:11:21It's different, we grew up in Texas, it's different.
00:11:23You know, New York, L.A., very gay-friendly, it's the best.
00:11:25I'm from Texas, where they're like,
00:11:27if I see a rainbow in the sky, I shoot it.
00:11:32Okay?
00:11:34And I keep shooting that thing
00:11:36till the only colors left are red, white, and fucking blue.
00:11:40Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
00:11:44Uh-huh.
00:11:45Uh-huh. Yeah.
00:11:48And I keep shooting that till the only color left is white.
00:11:51Am I right? Come on, man.
00:11:54Dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab-dab.
00:12:08How does he wake up? How does he wake up? He's like...
00:12:16Bro, waking up is kind of gay.
00:12:19Right?
00:12:24That first yawn, too?
00:12:25Ah! Bro!
00:12:28Sounds like you're taking a dick in your butt, brother.
00:12:33Every dude here is like, I don't wake up like that.
00:12:36Okay? I wake up like...
00:12:38Let's go.
00:12:41Hustle grind.
00:12:43Pussy.
00:12:46You see, I know yourself, man.
00:12:48I'm a brown guy, you know?
00:12:49I did the 23andMe.
00:12:52DNA testing, I'm brown.
00:12:55Kevin, I'm so brown.
00:12:56The paper was like, you are 7'11% brown.
00:12:59Oh, man.
00:13:00No.
00:13:01No.
00:13:06Can we...
00:13:07Can we say white dudes were getting a little goofy
00:13:10with 23andMe?
00:13:11A little bit?
00:13:11One of my white friends got back 3% Iranian.
00:13:14Next day, he bought a hookah lounge.
00:13:17This is the whitest dude from Connecticut.
00:13:19Now he's like, hello, my friend.
00:13:22I'm like, listen, Dylan.
00:13:24He's like, it's Dilan.
00:13:27Please sit down, have some hummus.
00:13:29I'm like, you white fuck, that is mayonnaise.
00:13:31Okay?
00:13:34You know 23andMe was doing forensics for a little bit.
00:13:36You know all about this?
00:13:37Like, if your family member did it, you commit a crime,
00:13:38they can cross-check the DNA to get you.
00:13:40You heard about this?
00:13:42How funny is that?
00:13:44Imagine you're a perfect serial killer, right?
00:13:45You dissolve the bodies in hydrofluoric acid,
00:13:47put them in a drum drive out of the woods,
00:13:48bury the bodies 40 feet deep,
00:13:49and you get caught because your fourth cousin is like,
00:13:52Am I Cherokee?
00:13:58Whoo!
00:14:01Whoo!
00:14:02Whoo!
00:14:03Whoo!
00:14:03Whoo!
00:14:04Whoo!
00:14:04Whoo!
00:14:05That's hello, I think.
00:14:08If I ever got caught like that, I'd be like,
00:14:10listen, I'll go to jail.
00:14:11Let me just kill one more person.
00:14:12All right?
00:14:16Oh, my God, man.
00:14:17Just go travel.
00:14:18That's how you learn, you know?
00:14:19Y'all been to Europe?
00:14:20That's where I was, like, all last week I was in Europe.
00:14:22You know what's crazy about Americans in Europe?
00:14:24In America, we're all different politically, right?
00:14:26Then we go to Europe, we all become American.
00:14:30Immediately, right?
00:14:31Like, here in America, I'm like, uh, left wing,
00:14:34you know, oat milk.
00:14:36You know, I'm like, uh, femme boy pussy la boo boo, right?
00:14:42Then I go to Europe, take one look around,
00:14:44I'm like, me and the boys can take this shit over and do it.
00:14:47Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha.
00:14:49Du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du-du.
00:14:51Get her fuckin' done!
00:14:55In America, I'm ordering lattes, like,
00:14:57can you add some lavender?
00:14:58You know what I mean?
00:15:00Then I go to Europe, and I'm like,
00:15:01soccer's fuckin' gay, all right?
00:15:04It's fuckin' gay is what it is.
00:15:07Europeans are soft, Kevin.
00:15:09It's what happens to you when your healthcare system
00:15:11actually works.
00:15:13Right?
00:15:16Right?
00:15:20They're sayin' crazy shit!
00:15:22Like, had a disease, went to the doctor,
00:15:23no longer have the disease.
00:15:26America, we're like,
00:15:26we're bringin' back polio, motherfucker, right?
00:15:28Oh, man!
00:15:31I will say Germans are kinda scary,
00:15:33the ones that I met,
00:15:34when they're speakin' German.
00:15:36Right? Then they say one word in English,
00:15:37and it's like, we could beat you up, I think.
00:15:40Right?
00:15:40Cause they're like,
00:15:41fowlin, fowlin, fowlin, fowlin!
00:15:43Then they're like,
00:15:44you have to come to Berlin.
00:15:52Why does every German guy go through a sex change
00:15:54on the way to English, bro?
00:15:56Right?
00:15:56Fowlin, fowlin!
00:15:57Put your fuckin' hands up.
00:15:59Oh!
00:16:00Oh, we're raving now in Frankfurt.
00:16:04We're raving now in Haagen-Dazs.
00:16:10Last thing I'll say to the boys, man,
00:16:11hey, if you're out in the streets, wrap it up.
00:16:13All right?
00:16:14I'll wear a condom.
00:16:15I'm a condom guy.
00:16:16I'm a condom and wallet guy, low-key.
00:16:20Every girl I know hates it,
00:16:22my ex was like, condom and wallet?
00:16:23That's fuckin' creepy.
00:16:24I'm like, where else you want us to put it?
00:16:26Wouldn't it be creepier if you're like,
00:16:27where's your condom?
00:16:27And I was like,
00:16:28where's my...
00:16:28Oh!
00:16:32Yeah!
00:16:35Even creepier if I took my pants off
00:16:37and I was already wearing it.
00:16:38I was like...
00:16:40Yeah, I've been hard this entire day.
00:16:43Y'all been great.
00:16:44Thank y'all so much.
00:16:45So funny.
00:16:46Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:16:48Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.
00:16:57Yes, man.
00:17:01Thank y'all, thank y'all.
00:17:02Thank y'all, thank y'all.
00:17:03Well-deserved, well-deserved.
00:17:06You know, Osama, man, I, uh, I, uh, I just gotta say,
00:17:13your material of choice, dude, uh, it just continues to impress me.
00:17:19I love how you weave in and out of, of your topics.
00:17:23I love how you make them personable and make the audience, uh, basically,
00:17:28you put them in a space to see the pictures that you're painting
00:17:30and immediately embrace your stories and your world, man.
00:17:33Uh, and there's such a nice flow to it, right?
00:17:35Like, I'm never stuck outside of what you're talking about.
00:17:38Uh, amazing set tonight.
00:17:40What do you guys think? Thank you.
00:17:41Uh, uh, same thing. The flow was amazing.
00:17:44You, uh, we didn't even know where the next joke started
00:17:47or the last one ended.
00:17:49You just came out of the gate killing, you're a killer.
00:17:51Like, you just killed the entire time.
00:17:53Thank you. Thank you.
00:17:54Which I don't think other people understand how difficult that is
00:17:56to just out of the gate and keep crushing the entire time.
00:17:59And I also want to say, I just really appreciate how you just ring
00:18:02everything out of a premise that you can.
00:18:04Yes. Like, as soon as you think it's over, like,
00:18:06you could have ended on the, the, the, he shoots the,
00:18:08until it's red, white, and blue.
00:18:10But then you were like, then he just wants it to be white.
00:18:12Like, that ash, and that extra thing was like,
00:18:14that's next level. Thank you.
00:18:15Great job tonight. Thank you.
00:18:16Amazing.
00:18:20Dude, you, you crushed.
00:18:23And, and, uh, it's, the joke, it's smart.
00:18:25You have smart comedy.
00:18:26And you, I like that you have physical stuff too.
00:18:29But some of the jokes, I love hearing something that I've never,
00:18:32like, waking up is gay is so funny.
00:18:35It's so funny.
00:18:36And you had so many great jokes.
00:18:38Tom and I both looked at each other like,
00:18:39why have we never thought of that?
00:18:40I know.
00:18:41It was like, one of those moments.
00:18:42Yeah, she has so many gay jokes.
00:18:44But where's that one?
00:18:45You know, you, you, you're the originator, dude.
00:18:47Thank you. Thank you.
00:18:48Uh, guys, one more time.
00:18:49Show your love, please.
00:18:50Usama Siddiqui, one time.
00:18:54Wow.
00:18:56Wow.
00:19:00Well, what we are not going to do is lose that energy.
00:19:03We're going to keep it going.
00:19:04Uh, understand it's hard to survive,
00:19:06especially when you're starting out in comedy.
00:19:07And this guy, this guy did just about everything there is to do
00:19:11to stay afloat as he followed his dreams.
00:19:13Ladies and gentlemen, here's Ron Taylor.
00:19:15Take a look.
00:19:21All right.
00:19:22I'm in this bitch.
00:19:23The finals.
00:19:24I made it.
00:19:25Slinging these jokes, man, this has been the best job I've had.
00:19:29I've been a lifeguard, door guy.
00:19:32I sold donuts and, uh, the job I have now, which will not be named.
00:19:37And I'm not even going to tell y'all where I work,
00:19:39because I don't want to be harassed.
00:19:40And you know what?
00:19:41The ice cream's delicious, so fuck you.
00:19:43Now, the reason I've had those different jobs is more to feel the time.
00:19:47I've never had nothing to pay for.
00:19:49I ain't have no place, no house, no nothing.
00:19:51I lived in a van from 2015 to 2023 till it got taken.
00:19:58I guess if you don't register the tags or whatever, it can't be on the street.
00:20:03So L.A. stole my van.
00:20:05Winning this would be validating, not to mention that I can buy me a new van.
00:20:10I can stop scooping ice cream.
00:20:12I can get crab legs and get me a nice young lady to write comedy jokes with.
00:20:21Oh, boy.
00:20:22Ladies and gentlemen, make some goddamn noise for Juan Taylor!
00:20:46Yeah, sit down, sit down, L.A.
00:20:55Party!
00:20:56Party time!
00:20:57Yeah, I had to quit partying.
00:20:59I had to.
00:21:01I can't party like I used to.
00:21:02I stopped drinking as much.
00:21:03All the rules around drinking is fucked up.
00:21:07Feel like a setup.
00:21:08You can't drink and drive.
00:21:09What the fuck is the cup holder for?
00:21:14You can't drink and drive.
00:21:15Why is there a parking lot at the liquor store?
00:21:20How the fuck do you think I got here on horseback?
00:21:24Let me in this bitch.
00:21:27It's a setup.
00:21:28Then you drink, you drive, you go to jail.
00:21:30What?
00:21:32What year are we in?
00:21:34You can't do something.
00:21:36Get drunk drivers like a lane or something.
00:21:41A drunk driving lane.
00:21:45There's a lane for everything else.
00:21:47You got a carpool lane, a bus lane, a bike lane, a bike lane.
00:21:51Get on the bus, you broke bitch.
00:21:58You be driving out here.
00:22:03And I'll help design it, god damn it.
00:22:06I'll make it just like, you know, when you take kids bowling,
00:22:08you pull the bumpers up on the side,
00:22:10where you just, oh, wait, shit, oh, shit.
00:22:12Oh, wait, there it is, hold on.
00:22:16Get where you need to go.
00:22:19Don't just lock me up.
00:22:21And then the age.
00:22:22How old you got to be to drink?
00:22:2421.
00:22:25Why?
00:22:25Says who?
00:22:28Why not 20?
00:22:30Why not 22?
00:22:31What the fuck is so special about 21?
00:22:33This ain't blackjack.
00:22:36You know how many other dangerous things you can do before you 21?
00:22:40All of them.
00:22:42You knew all the dangerous things.
00:22:44You can drive a car.
00:22:46You can have a gun.
00:22:47You can be in the war, fighting for motherfuckers freedom.
00:22:51This is the craziest one.
00:22:53You can do porn.
00:22:57Is that not crazy to y'all that you can suck dick legally?
00:23:02Pay taxes on it.
00:23:06Yeah, that's your real employment.
00:23:15And that's the fucked up thing.
00:23:17You can do it for a while.
00:23:19After about 18, 19, 20, you ain't no rookie, you a vet.
00:23:24Sucking dick is what you do.
00:23:27You trying to get out the game,
00:23:28you start picking up extra shifts,
00:23:29you just pulled a double-double.
00:23:32That's full dicks now.
00:23:33Come on, do the math.
00:23:37You get off work.
00:23:38You're tired.
00:23:39You're sore.
00:23:40You're sticky.
00:23:42You're crunchy.
00:23:45You go home and got to drink a Capri Sun?
00:23:48What?
00:23:59Give that whore some tequila.
00:24:03She deserves it.
00:24:04Her pussy's on fire.
00:24:06You can't put a pussy fire out with Hawaiian punch.
00:24:09You...
00:24:11Maybe I'm too progressive,
00:24:13but I feel like if you can drink cum,
00:24:15you can have beer.
00:24:16That, you...
00:24:24Shouldn't be washing down no goblet of giz
00:24:27with Sunny Delight.
00:24:27That ain't...
00:24:31They handling big dicks over there.
00:24:34And ladies, listen,
00:24:35stop putting that pressure on us
00:24:37to live up to them pornos and whatnot,
00:24:39having big dicks.
00:24:39I want a big dick.
00:24:40I want a man with a big dick.
00:24:41I want a big dick.
00:24:42Me too.
00:24:47Yet here we are.
00:24:50You get what the fuck I give you.
00:24:53I ain't holding out.
00:24:55I ain't lead a good dick at the house.
00:24:58This it.
00:24:59I brought it all with me.
00:25:02Standard issue.
00:25:05I got the Toyota Corolla of dicks.
00:25:10It ain't fancy,
00:25:11but damn it, you gonna get there.
00:25:12It's efficient and it's reliable.
00:25:24I don't even know how much that shit matter,
00:25:26like all that size and whatnot.
00:25:28I really feel like ladies,
00:25:29y'all can't agree on it.
00:25:30Ladies, do size matter?
00:25:32Okay, a lot of whores in the house.
00:25:37I'm just serious.
00:25:38No.
00:25:41If you say size matter
00:25:42and you know what you want,
00:25:43I want any woman in here right now
00:25:45yell out your dream size.
00:25:47Hold on.
00:25:49Who says seven?
00:25:50That's your dream size?
00:25:52Call me Santa Claus, god damn it.
00:25:54I can give you that.
00:25:59I heard a lady one time say,
00:26:01I want 12.
00:26:04I said 12 what?
00:26:07Like 12 inches?
00:26:10Like 12 whole inches?
00:26:1212 inches in a row?
00:26:15I can give you 12 inches,
00:26:17but I got to fuck you twice.
00:26:18I can't give it to you back to back like that.
00:26:24Have you seen a ruler?
00:26:26For how long 12 inches is?
00:26:29A foot?
00:26:31A pound.
00:26:33And I wear it 11,
00:26:34so you got one more to go.
00:26:36You want a Subway sandwich in your pussy.
00:26:41You want an entire Italian BMT
00:26:45in your body.
00:26:46I know all the sandwiches.
00:26:47You want a meatball marinara
00:26:50in your muff.
00:26:5212 inches.
00:26:52That's two inches short of a Comcast remote.
00:26:57You want 120 channels in that pussy?
00:27:01Well, we don't watch cable no more.
00:27:03We stream.
00:27:04I ain't got Comcast dick.
00:27:05I got Roku dick.
00:27:07I got...
00:27:09Ladies and gentlemen,
00:27:09that's my time.
00:27:29Ron...
00:27:33Ron Raw Taylor.
00:27:35That's the nickname I gave you, man.
00:27:37Ron Raw Taylor.
00:27:39You are raw.
00:27:41I can't say it enough, man.
00:27:43It truly comes out of nowhere,
00:27:45and I love the fact that it's unexpected.
00:27:48I love your fucking wardrobe choice tonight.
00:27:51I love, like...
00:27:52Like, dude, you really do fit the perspective of a comedian, man,
00:27:58and your material does not let the audience down.
00:28:02Good shit tonight. Very, very funny set, man.
00:28:04Very funny set.
00:28:07That was so much fun.
00:28:08You're just a blast to watch.
00:28:10And again, another killer set, front to back.
00:28:12I mean, you brought it tonight.
00:28:14And you started with a pro-drunk driving joke,
00:28:17and everyone was on board.
00:28:19Everyone's on board. We just love you.
00:28:21And taking dick jokes to another level,
00:28:24where I'm...
00:28:26You know, we feel like we've heard them all.
00:28:28We certainly haven't.
00:28:30I want more from you.
00:28:31Um, and it's just so good tonight.
00:28:34It's so fun. I can't wait to see more from you.
00:28:39Dude, that was unbelievable.
00:28:41You did the drunk driving thing.
00:28:42You also did drunk driving stuff for a while.
00:28:45Like, it wasn't, like, a quick thing,
00:28:47and you really, really broke it down.
00:28:49It was so funny.
00:28:49I feel like you have the spirit of an older guy, right?
00:28:54Like, you have, like, the cadence of, like, a Robin Harris,
00:28:59like, that type of soul, which is the biggest compliment.
00:29:01And it's...
00:29:02I feel like you could be funny reading a menu.
00:29:04You're hilarious. That was so funny, dude.
00:29:06So good.
00:29:07Hey, man.
00:29:07Do me a favor.
00:29:08Make some more noise.
00:29:09One more time for Rob Taylor.
00:29:19Oh, boy.
00:29:22All right, guys.
00:29:23Look, before our next performance,
00:29:24I just want to give a shout-out to the contestants
00:29:26from earlier in the season who came out tonight
00:29:29to support their fellow comics,
00:29:31because that's what comedy is about.
00:29:34It's the community.
00:29:34The community is what we embrace.
00:29:36So please show them some love, man.
00:29:38They're all right there in the front.
00:29:42Such a great group of talents.
00:29:45I appreciate them being here tonight.
00:29:47All right.
00:29:48Guys, here's our next comic, okay?
00:29:50In auditions,
00:29:51well, she had the Comedy Cellar rolling in their seats.
00:29:54Let's see if she could bring that energy tonight.
00:29:56Here is Caitlin Palufa.
00:30:02I'm a little more aggressive on stage than most.
00:30:05I'm loud.
00:30:05I'm not afraid to talk to people.
00:30:07I was raised by two working-class people,
00:30:09and it was like,
00:30:10okay, you might not have all the talent,
00:30:11but if you beat them with work ethic,
00:30:13you can still get to where you want to go.
00:30:14And I kind of just live by that mentality.
00:30:17I moved from San Francisco to New York to go to grad school,
00:30:20which was very much a waste of money.
00:30:23I started doing comedy in New York,
00:30:25and it was tough.
00:30:26Take off the jacket or no one's getting wet.
00:30:29All right.
00:30:30I went to be a full-time comedian after I did Colbert,
00:30:33and then the pandemic hit.
00:30:34That was devastating,
00:30:36and I went back to my day job,
00:30:38which was art handling,
00:30:39and I can't go back to that again.
00:30:40But it also makes me appreciate this moment.
00:30:43It makes me so grateful for this opportunity.
00:30:46Winning this competition would be huge
00:30:49because it puts you on the biggest platform in the world.
00:30:52Comedy is so subjective.
00:30:54You can only be yourself.
00:30:55And if the people don't really fuck with me,
00:30:58then that's okay.
00:30:59And then the people who do fuck me will find me,
00:31:02and then we will all fuck together.
00:31:07Ladies and gentlemen, please give it up for Caitlin Palufo!
00:31:24Hey! Hello, Los Angeles!
00:31:29Sit down, sit down, sit down!
00:31:32I gotta talk about my pussy.
00:31:33Thank you!
00:31:36Oh, I'm doing great.
00:31:37I'm feeling good.
00:31:38I'm actually, I'm newly single, okay?
00:31:40Yes.
00:31:42I was in a relationship for seven years.
00:31:45We broke up about eight months ago,
00:31:46so you know what that means, right?
00:31:48I am easy!
00:31:51Okay.
00:31:53No, it was a long time to be with something.
00:31:55No, nothing bad happened, okay?
00:31:57It was a good breakup.
00:31:58You know, it just kind of fizzled out.
00:32:00You know a relationship's over
00:32:01when the presents get too practical?
00:32:04For his birthday, I got him Invisalign.
00:32:08That's tough.
00:32:09Happy birthday!
00:32:10Fix your face, okay?
00:32:12I'm tired of looking at it like this, alright?
00:32:15And sex goes out the window.
00:32:17With an Invisalign, nothing kills the mood
00:32:19like a guy going,
00:32:19you look sexy in an outfit.
00:32:23Let's show it in Texas.
00:32:26But he was a good guy.
00:32:27Sweet, kind, funny, smart, handsome.
00:32:30Had a good job.
00:32:30And he had two perks.
00:32:32He had a double perk, okay?
00:32:33Ladies, he had a big dick, and he had no back hair.
00:32:39I love saying that out loud.
00:32:40You really find out where the sluts are.
00:32:42Okay?
00:32:43Yeah, right in this little corny little hookers.
00:32:45Hi, yeah!
00:32:46Because the sluts know you never get both.
00:32:48You get one or the other if you're lucky,
00:32:50but both you fucking hold on, you know?
00:32:53And I felt the vibe in here change.
00:32:55Did we feel that?
00:32:56Did we feel every single man go,
00:32:58what the fuck?
00:33:00What's this perk shit she's talking about, huh?
00:33:03They're perks in a relationship.
00:33:04They're not deal breakers.
00:33:05So don't worry, gentlemen.
00:33:06If you don't have a big dick, that's fine.
00:33:08Not a big deal.
00:33:09Just get funny, okay?
00:33:12Yes, absolutely.
00:33:13Tell us a joke while you let us down, all right?
00:33:24No back hair is a real win, though, right?
00:33:26We like a smooth boy, yeah.
00:33:28We like a little dolphin from the neck down,
00:33:30don't we, ladies?
00:33:31Yeah, and again, I'm not trying to body shame.
00:33:33Look at this.
00:33:34We got some furry boys in the front.
00:33:35Hi.
00:33:36I see that beard.
00:33:37You look like you tickle, okay?
00:33:42There's nothing wrong with back hair, okay, gentlemen?
00:33:45It's beautiful, natural, normal.
00:33:47It's just something women want to know about
00:33:49before we encounter it for the first time.
00:33:52It can be a little jarring, a little, you know?
00:33:55Takes us out of the moment.
00:33:56It's kind of like when you're swimming in the ocean
00:33:59and then your foot touches kelp.
00:34:02Like, oh, this water is so, ha, ha, ha!
00:34:05It's a sea beast!
00:34:07Oh!
00:34:08Because how do we find out that a man has back hair?
00:34:10We usually find out when we're about to have sex
00:34:12for the first time,
00:34:13and that is a very different experience for men and women.
00:34:16Men, you guys are easy.
00:34:17You guys are stoked.
00:34:18You're focused.
00:34:18You come to that room and you're like,
00:34:19oh, boy, I hope she's got tits.
00:34:22Ah!
00:34:23And then you count them out loud.
00:34:25One, two, yeah.
00:34:28I knew there'd be two.
00:34:31Women, we got a lot of other stuff going on.
00:34:33We got heavier stuff.
00:34:34We come into that room, we're like,
00:34:35oh, boy, I hope he doesn't kill me, okay?
00:34:39Please let me keep my eyelids, all right?
00:34:44No.
00:34:45We got to do a lot more maintenance when it comes to sex, right, ladies?
00:34:48We got to wax?
00:34:49Yeah.
00:34:49I'm waxing my puss-puss.
00:34:52Do you know how optimistic that is?
00:34:54I have no prospects and I'm still getting waxed?
00:34:56That's crazy.
00:34:57That is optimism.
00:34:58That is car insurance with a bus pass, all right?
00:35:02I am waiting for my life to change.
00:35:07Clap if you're a woman who gets waxed in here.
00:35:09Who does it?
00:35:09Who's waxing?
00:35:10Oh, a lot of us.
00:35:11Wow.
00:35:12You guys doing the whole thing?
00:35:13Whole thing?
00:35:13Whole thing?
00:35:14We got Navy SEALs in the room.
00:35:16Goddamn.
00:35:17That's incredible.
00:35:18I just do the sides.
00:35:19I voted for Kamala, okay?
00:35:25If you have ever gotten waxed as a woman,
00:35:27you know there is no dignity in it.
00:35:28It's so embarrassing.
00:35:29They put you in the most well-lit room on the planet.
00:35:32They make you go Winnie the Pooh style, yeah?
00:35:35Shirt, socks, nothing in between.
00:35:38They don't even give you a blanket.
00:35:39They give you a little wet nap,
00:35:40and they're like,
00:35:41clean yourself up, little piggy.
00:35:42Oink! Gross!
00:35:44If you get the back door done,
00:35:46you have to roll over onto your stomach
00:35:48and spread your own cheeks open.
00:35:51Yeah, and you boys can't even trim your ball hair?
00:35:54Fuck you!
00:35:57We're angels.
00:35:59You don't deserve us.
00:36:04Okay.
00:36:04So the other day, the other day,
00:36:06not too long ago,
00:36:07I'm getting waxed, all right?
00:36:08And you have to make small talk with these women.
00:36:10You have to chit-chat.
00:36:10It's so awkward.
00:36:12I'm laying there spread eagle just like,
00:36:14so, where'd you park?
00:36:17You know?
00:36:18Apparently, I distracted her
00:36:20because all of a sudden,
00:36:21I felt hot wax
00:36:22where I have never felt hot wax before.
00:36:24Right down the middle.
00:36:26A little to the left.
00:36:29And I'm so naive.
00:36:30I thought she could take some warm water,
00:36:31wipe it off, try again.
00:36:32So I was like,
00:36:33oh, miss, I'm just doing a bikini wax.
00:36:34I'm not doing a Brazilian.
00:36:35And she goes, oh, no.
00:36:37I said, you can't just wipe it off.
00:36:38And she goes, oh, no.
00:36:40Then she told me to take a deep breath.
00:36:44And then I felt the worst pain I've ever felt.
00:36:47And whoosh.
00:36:47I thought she took a lip off.
00:36:49Hand to God.
00:36:50I thought she threw my labia in the trash.
00:36:54I was like, bitch, get some ice.
00:36:55We can reattach it.
00:36:58It was so painful.
00:36:59I told her to stop waxing.
00:37:01I was like, we're done.
00:37:02I'll make up a story.
00:37:05I'll just say I dropped a cigarette.
00:37:07And that's what I'll say.
00:37:08It's the new trend.
00:37:10I'm rocking the good puss, bad puss.
00:37:13But then I was like, no, no, no.
00:37:15No, no, no.
00:37:15Caitlin, you can handle pain.
00:37:17You just weren't ready for it.
00:37:18Also, you don't want to be known as a woman
00:37:20with a yin-yang pussy.
00:37:21Okay?
00:37:22So I told her, go ahead.
00:37:24Take the rest of it off.
00:37:25And she did.
00:37:26So now you're looking at a girl with a bald puss.
00:37:28All right?
00:37:31I appreciate it.
00:37:33Which means I had to look at her in the mirror
00:37:36for the first time.
00:37:38First time in my adult life,
00:37:40I saw what my bare vagina looked like.
00:37:43And I'm looking at her, and I'm looking at her,
00:37:45and I'm like, oh, wow.
00:37:48She needs bangs.
00:37:55I gotta be honest,
00:37:56I don't have a cute-looking pussy, okay?
00:37:58I got more of a...
00:37:59That's what I got, okay?
00:38:00You probably got to dart a little...
00:38:02Yeah, yeah, not me, no.
00:38:04I got a working girl's puss.
00:38:07Little ballerina pussy.
00:38:08I got a Carhartt pussy.
00:38:10That's what I got.
00:38:11My pussy's been working on the docks for 20 years.
00:38:14She pays her union to...
00:38:16Hell, I think she voted for Trump, okay?
00:38:22They don't tell you it doesn't grow back all at once.
00:38:26Yeah, they should let you know.
00:38:27If you take it off all at once,
00:38:28you'd think it'd grow back all at once.
00:38:29Just kind of like a Chia pet.
00:38:32It grows in patchy, scraggly, a little lopsided.
00:38:36I got Timothee Chalamet's mustache.
00:38:40All right, you guys have been great.
00:38:41I'm Caleb Palufo.
00:38:42Thank you so much.
00:38:57Caitlin, Caitlin, Caitlin.
00:39:01Good job.
00:39:02As usual.
00:39:03It's expected.
00:39:03I mean, you know, you remain likable
00:39:06while talking about your vagina
00:39:08in such a vulgar way.
00:39:11And it comes off with so much presence,
00:39:14so much personality.
00:39:15And that's just because of your charm, right?
00:39:17There's a lot of charisma to you.
00:39:18Every time you touch the stage, you light it up.
00:39:20You didn't do any different tonight.
00:39:22Congrats on another amazing set.
00:39:24Good job tonight.
00:39:25Thank you so much, Caitlin.
00:39:27I love you so much, Caitlin.
00:39:29That was so strong.
00:39:30You are just...
00:39:31You're so good at this,
00:39:32and you make it look so easy, which it's not.
00:39:34And you were just so funny tonight.
00:39:36And thank you so much for talking about
00:39:38getting waxing in that kind of way
00:39:41that I had...
00:39:42I've been through that too
00:39:42and never processed it in that way.
00:39:44And I feel like you brought us all along a journey
00:39:46that feels so alone sometimes.
00:39:48And I think that's so important about comedy
00:39:50is that you're able to articulate these things
00:39:52that we, like, struggle with and can't talk about.
00:39:54And so I just appreciate that.
00:39:56It's so many great pussy jokes.
00:39:58I felt like I had done all of them
00:40:00that there were to be done,
00:40:01but you had so many...
00:40:02You're just a joy to watch.
00:40:05I am obsessed.
00:40:06I love you.
00:40:06Thank you so much, Caitlin.
00:40:07You make me so proud to be a comedian.
00:40:09I love you so much.
00:40:12Dude, you crushed.
00:40:13That was fucking awesome.
00:40:14Thank you so much.
00:40:14I've gotten waxed too.
00:40:15I did appreciate all that.
00:40:18Yeah.
00:40:18I feel seen, but...
00:40:19Really, Tom?
00:40:20Yeah.
00:40:21In...
00:40:21In...
00:40:22What?
00:40:23The balls?
00:40:24Down there?
00:40:25I did my ass.
00:40:26Oh, shit.
00:40:26And my back.
00:40:27Did you lose a lip too?
00:40:29Huh?
00:40:29Did you lose a lip too?
00:40:30I wiped clean for months.
00:40:32It was awesome.
00:40:33It was great.
00:40:34I recommend it.
00:40:35He was an ally.
00:40:35That's nice.
00:40:36It was awesome.
00:40:36I recommend it.
00:40:37I recommend it.
00:40:38Get your ass waxed.
00:40:39Um...
00:40:40But you're...
00:40:40No.
00:40:41You're a fucking joke machine.
00:40:42And what I loved is that it was like...
00:40:43It was just one after another.
00:40:45And they were all so well written.
00:40:46So funny.
00:40:47You absolutely crushed it.
00:40:49I loved watching your set.
00:40:50So, please keep fucking doing what you're doing.
00:40:52Yes.
00:40:53So good.
00:40:53Good job, Caitlin.
00:40:54Good job.
00:40:56One more time, guys.
00:40:57Caitlin Palufo.
00:40:58One more time.
00:40:59One more time.
00:41:05Okay.
00:41:07It's heating up.
00:41:08It's heating up.
00:41:09All right, guys.
00:41:09Look, to round it out.
00:41:10This last comic has had his ups and downs in the competition.
00:41:14But throughout his career, well, he's always known how to hustle.
00:41:17Here is Reg Thomas.
00:41:23Do I, Reg Thomas, know what it means to hustle in comedy?
00:41:26Yeah.
00:41:26I hustle in general.
00:41:27I definitely know what it means to hustle in comedy.
00:41:29I've been promoting and running my own comedy show called Productively Stone for 10-plus years.
00:41:34The little kid who was sitting in elementary class daydreaming out the window would be very proud to see that
00:41:39I turned out to be this guy.
00:41:41But, like, I had to work hard to get to this place.
00:41:43I'm from a traditional family, and I'm from New York City.
00:41:45You gotta hustle.
00:41:46You gotta get money.
00:41:47And for a long time, I was in comedy just not getting money.
00:41:49I was just doing it because I knew I had to get better to get where I'm going.
00:41:53So I did what I had to do.
00:41:55Like, I remember my cousin Gary passed away of cancer.
00:41:58I held his hand until his body got cold.
00:42:01And then I walked to go do a comedy show.
00:42:03Like, I'm built different.
00:42:06I'm a different breed, man.
00:42:07I know what it is.
00:42:09I wanted to win a Netflix special because it's been 15 years of me trying to get the world to
00:42:13realize, like,
00:42:13yo, this guy's kind of funny.
00:42:14And it's my turn now.
00:42:16It's my time.
00:42:20Well, at this time, I want you to do my thing and put your hands together for Rich Thomas!
00:42:38There you go.
00:42:40All right.
00:42:43Happy to be here.
00:42:44I just, uh, I just got through a little bad breakup.
00:42:47And, uh, like, you know, breakups are hard for everybody.
00:42:51But what I've learned is that, like, women don't think they could be dumped.
00:42:57You see how it stopped being funny?
00:43:01Fellas, you know, breaking up with a girl is impossible.
00:43:03Breaking up with a girl is like breaking up with your gym membership.
00:43:08She's like, write me an essay.
00:43:09Tell me why you want to leave.
00:43:12I'll review it and tell you why you're wrong.
00:43:16You try to kick a girl out of your life, she start acting like a squatter.
00:43:21She's like, the county says I can stay.
00:43:26Me and my girl, we were together for four years.
00:43:28And it was sweet, but it got toxic.
00:43:31She caught me cheating once.
00:43:34A month.
00:43:36And accused me of not knowing what loyalty was.
00:43:42And then she got into a new relationship.
00:43:44And she got dumped for cheating.
00:43:46With me.
00:43:50Silly rabbit.
00:43:54This is when it got toxic.
00:43:55When she got caught cheating, I was there for her.
00:43:58I was like, yo, I know what you're going through right now.
00:44:09Now you would think telling a cheating joke at a comedy show is a good idea.
00:44:14But most comedy shows are date night.
00:44:17So I tell a cheating joke and all the fellas are like, ha, hmm.
00:44:24Talk about some other shit right now, my nigga.
00:44:28But personally, I think cheating jokes are funny.
00:44:32Fellas, you ever been going through a breakup and you couldn't tell your girl?
00:44:41You just walk around the house, sad as hell?
00:44:44Ain't no, your girl can read your energy.
00:44:46Your girl knows when something bothers you.
00:44:47She's like, babe, what's wrong?
00:44:52You wouldn't understand.
00:45:00That wasn't even the worst.
00:45:01The worst breakup I ever went through, me and this shit, we weren't even together.
00:45:03We were seeing each other for 30 business days.
00:45:07And I called it all off.
00:45:08She got so upset at me, she made nine Instagram pages.
00:45:12And they were all combinations of my name with the word bum.
00:45:17So it's Reg is a bum.
00:45:19Bumming ass Reg.
00:45:22Reg Thomas, still bumming like the fuck.
00:45:26And they were all screenshots from a sex tape we made.
00:45:30No bueno.
00:45:33They weren't even pictures of my dick.
00:45:34They were pictures trying to embarrass me.
00:45:36Like pictures of me in bed without a shirt.
00:45:38Like, bitch.
00:45:41I know I got a gut.
00:45:43I put it here.
00:45:45But the angle she took the photos at looked like three niggas was in the bed.
00:45:49I was like, wow.
00:45:51Dying starts on Monday.
00:45:55She followed every comedy club I work at, every comedian I know.
00:45:59All my homeboys were trying to be supportive.
00:46:01They were like, we flagging it.
00:46:03We flagging it.
00:46:06We flagging the pages.
00:46:10I was like, that's great.
00:46:11But could you niggas stop liking the photos?
00:46:13That'd be so much better.
00:46:17I'm trending.
00:46:20My best friend tried to give me advice.
00:46:23But you know guys give the worst advice at a moment like that.
00:46:25He's like, that's why you got to date white girls.
00:46:27A white girl would have never did you like that.
00:46:29And I was like, you right.
00:46:30A white woman would have done way worse.
00:46:34A white girl would have moonwalked into traffic and said I pushed her.
00:46:39Black girls or white girls just get mad different.
00:46:41A black girl gets mad and now you on Instagram looking crazy.
00:46:44A white girl gets mad and niggas go missing.
00:46:48Me and Reg were having a fight.
00:46:51Then I went on my nightly run.
00:46:54And now Reg is missing.
00:46:58Whole time I'm wrapped up in a yoga mat in the back of this bitch's Subaru.
00:47:05I don't got no beef with white girls.
00:47:07White girls are cool, but it's the thing.
00:47:08In my past, if a white girl ever liked me, she was never the baddest white girl.
00:47:12If a white girl liked me, she was the type of white girl, you'd find her the Buc-ee's.
00:47:18Pajama pants in public, you know the type.
00:47:21I much rather dated black women.
00:47:23Me and black women, we get way along way better.
00:47:25I love black women.
00:47:26They give me my confidence.
00:47:28They give me my drip.
00:47:30And they can see through my bullshit, so it keeps me honest.
00:47:34It's like the Gayle King and R. Kelly interview all over again.
00:47:38Y'all know about that interview?
00:47:40Y'all know who Gayle King is?
00:47:42Oprah Winfrey's best friend?
00:47:44Y'all know who R. Kelly is?
00:47:46Phenomenal musician?
00:47:48Right, and so anyway, one year, Gayle interviewed R. Kelly.
00:47:54And R. Kelly lied the entire interview.
00:47:55R. Kelly lied from the rooter to the tutor.
00:47:58And Gayle just would not believe a word R. Kelly said.
00:48:01And R. Kelly got so frustrated in the middle of the interview, he goes,
00:48:03I'm fighting for my life!
00:48:06And Gayle kept it so gay, so she looked right through R. Kelly and said,
00:48:10Robert?
00:48:15And even though she said, Robert, all I heard was, nigga, stop lying.
00:48:19That's all I really heard.
00:48:24But I know I've been talking about breakups here.
00:48:27Black love is still beautiful.
00:48:28I don't want you to think I'm against black love, like, very much pro-black love.
00:48:32My favorite couple of all time.
00:48:34My favorite couple of all time is Michelle and Barack.
00:48:38Because I don't even follow politics.
00:48:41I'm just impressed with how much he loved his wife.
00:48:43For eight whole years, he always found a way to give his girl a shout-out,
00:48:46no matter what the speech was about.
00:48:48He'd be up there giving bad news.
00:48:50Like, today in the Middle East, we blew up a school.
00:48:53On a lighter note, who would have thought that a girl from the south side of Chicago,
00:48:59and I'm like, yo, what happened at the school, dog?
00:49:01Like, you was telling a whole story.
00:49:05But that's what he told me.
00:49:06He told me, you got to make your girl feel special.
00:49:07You got to make your girl feel like a rock star.
00:49:09Like, I like a girl with a nice booty.
00:49:11But if the next girl I fall in love with got a little booty...
00:49:16Like, she don't got no booty.
00:49:19I'ma treat that little booty like it's the biggest ass I've ever seen.
00:49:23And every time she get naked, I'ma make a scene about it.
00:49:26And I'm a real New York nigga. I'ma sell it.
00:49:29Like, damn, babe, are you coming with OLS?
00:49:33What am I supposed to do with all this booty? You trying to kill a nigga?
00:49:37The whole time, she in my bed.
00:49:41Because women do it for us all the time.
00:49:43The first time they see your sneakers, you'll be like...
00:49:48Patchy back hair?
00:49:50I love patchy back hair!
00:49:53Baby, that's my time. My name's Reg, Tom.
00:49:55And thank y'all very much.
00:50:06Reg, Reg, Reg.
00:50:09You know, I don't know a better way to say it, man.
00:50:14I mean, like, since your return, you came back different.
00:50:18And it's not because you are different.
00:50:19It's because you had all of the things that you're showing and putting on display now.
00:50:24You had it then, but you didn't get to it yet.
00:50:27And when you got the opportunity to get to it, you've done nothing but show out, man.
00:50:31Your material, uh...
00:50:36Dude, it's so dope, it's so honest, it's so relatable.
00:50:40And you do it while not ever losing your foundation of where you're from and who you are.
00:50:45Like, the New York never goes away.
00:50:48Regardless of your topic, regardless of what you're talking about, man.
00:50:51It's dope as fuck to see you and see you shine the way you've been shining.
00:50:54Good set, man. Congrats again for another amazing performance, man.
00:50:58Thank you, Reg.
00:51:00That was incredible.
00:51:01You know what?
00:51:02My favorite thing about watching a comic like you is, like,
00:51:04I feel like we're friends now after I just saw that set.
00:51:07I feel like I know you more.
00:51:08It felt like we were hanging out.
00:51:09Yeah.
00:51:09You are such a natural...
00:51:11You were able to not only have just great jokes,
00:51:14but you told a really vulnerable, somewhat embarrassing story
00:51:17that just felt so intimate that pulled us in.
00:51:20And then you did pop culture references to close it out.
00:51:22Like, you had everything in that set.
00:51:24And I just think you are just so good.
00:51:26And you're so...
00:51:27You deserve to be here so much.
00:51:29I'm so glad I got to watch you tonight.
00:51:32Amazing.
00:51:33Yeah.
00:51:35That was tremendous.
00:51:37First of all, thank you for acknowledging how amazing R. Kelly is as a musician,
00:51:40because he is.
00:51:41But the guy's unbelievable.
00:51:43But...
00:51:47He really is.
00:51:48He should be back.
00:51:49But what I was...
00:51:49But what I love is a...
00:51:52I love watching stand-ups that have, like, what I call, like, confessional sets.
00:51:56People who talk about their life.
00:51:58Nobody else can do the set that you just did.
00:52:01You know what I mean?
00:52:02Nobody else can take that.
00:52:03Absolutely.
00:52:03It's singular to you.
00:52:04It was so funny.
00:52:06So fucking solid.
00:52:08Congratulations.
00:52:09That was a fantastic set.
00:52:10So good, man.
00:52:11Amazing.
00:52:12Give it up for Rash Thomas one more time.
00:52:14Ladies and gentlemen, one more time.
00:52:19All right.
00:52:21Now, we have seen four comments.
00:52:24We have seen four sets.
00:52:27But it is out of their hands now because it's time.
00:52:31It is time for you at home.
00:52:32You at home will decide the winner of Funny AF.
00:52:36So what I want to do right now, I want to get the others back out here, man.
00:52:39Make some noise for your finalists tonight, man.
00:52:42Usama, Ron, Caitlyn, and Reg.
00:52:53Holy kind.
00:52:56Holy kind.
00:53:01Four...
00:53:02Four finalists.
00:53:06Four different comedians.
00:53:09Four different styles.
00:53:12It's been a long road.
00:53:14It's been a long road.
00:53:15And whatever happens, man, I want you to know, all four of you, truly, like, you did a truly amazing
00:53:20job, man.
00:53:21Not just tonight, but throughout this whole experience.
00:53:24You guys have earned this moment.
00:53:26And I mean that.
00:53:27Like, those are big facts.
00:53:28You earned the right to be on this fucking stage tonight.
00:53:31So sit in that for a second and realize that you're here because you're supposed to be here.
00:53:36Okay?
00:53:40Uh...
00:53:40Well...
00:53:41But now...
00:53:43Well, now...
00:53:44Now it's time for you to...
00:53:46To you to step up.
00:53:47I'm talking about you.
00:53:49The people at home.
00:53:50It's time for you to step up and vote for the winner of Funny AF.
00:53:53I cannot stress this enough.
00:53:55I need your participation.
00:53:57I need your votes in real time so that we can change the lives of one of these goddamn four
00:54:04finalists on this stage.
00:54:05So the final vote is open now.
00:54:08You got one minute.
00:54:09You got one fucking minute!
00:54:13One minute!
00:54:15Do your job, people.
00:54:17Do your job.
00:54:18I did my job.
00:54:20I bought you A-list talent.
00:54:23And I made that talent deliver.
00:54:25So do your fucking job.
00:54:27Match my energy and the energy of all that have participated in the show with me and fucking vote in
00:54:32real time right now.
00:54:34While you do that, I'm gonna give you guys a little recap of our four comics tonight.
00:54:39Take a look.
00:54:42Because every straight dude, we all got gay moments in our day.
00:54:46Right?
00:54:47You think he's straight?
00:54:48Not when he's waking up.
00:54:49How does he wake up?
00:54:49He's like...
00:54:56Oh, waking up is kind of gay.
00:55:02You want an entire Italian BMT in your body.
00:55:07I know all the sandwiches.
00:55:08You want a meatball marinara in your muff.
00:55:1312 inches.
00:55:14That's two inches short of a Comcast remote.
00:55:18You want 120 channels in that pussy.
00:55:22Then she told me to take a deep breath.
00:55:26And then I felt the worst pain I've ever felt.
00:55:28Whoosh.
00:55:29I thought she took a lip off.
00:55:30Hand to God.
00:55:32I thought she threw my labia in the trash.
00:55:35I was like, bitch, get some ice.
00:55:37We can reattach it.
00:55:39She called me cheating once.
00:55:43A month.
00:55:44And...
00:55:47Accused me of not knowing what loyalty was.
00:55:50And then she got into a new relationship.
00:55:52And she got dumped for cheating.
00:55:55With me.
00:55:59Silly rabbit.
00:56:00Silly rabbit.
00:56:10Well...
00:56:11We are back.
00:56:13We are back.
00:56:14We are live.
00:56:16I gotta say it again.
00:56:17Great job.
00:56:18You fucking took the stage.
00:56:19You all stepped up to the stage.
00:56:21You did what you were supposed to do.
00:56:22But I love the fact...
00:56:23I love the fact that we are looking at four different comedians.
00:56:25Four different styles.
00:56:27Right?
00:56:27Four different approaches to the craft of stand-up comedy.
00:56:30And although I'm a fan of all.
00:56:33I love the fact that it's not in my hands.
00:56:35I love the fact that it has nothing to do with me or my decision.
00:56:38It has to do with those that are watching.
00:56:40I love the fact that I am not responsible for whatever feeling the losers have when this is all over.
00:56:47Okay?
00:56:48Well, yeah, you're winners.
00:56:50But some will lose.
00:56:51It just is what it is, Rich.
00:56:52This is where we gotta rip the band-aid off.
00:56:54Okay?
00:56:55What I want to know right now is the pressure.
00:56:57I want to know how you fucking feel.
00:56:59Reg, you just had a phenomenal set.
00:57:00How do you feel knowing that you're waiting on the fucking people?
00:57:04How do you feel?
00:57:06I feel phenomenal because I did what I was supposed to do.
00:57:08I just need them to do what they do.
00:57:09Okay.
00:57:10Okay.
00:57:12Uh...
00:57:12Caitlin, I want to know how you feel.
00:57:15You just had a phenomenal set.
00:57:16How are you feeling in this moment as you wait on the people to do their fucking jobs?
00:57:22I really hope I didn't, uh, tell everybody I have a bad wax for no reason.
00:57:26Okay?
00:57:32Ryan.
00:57:34Ryan.
00:57:35Tell the people that are watching what you are feeling in this moment as you are waiting on them to
00:57:41do their fucking jobs.
00:57:43What is your feeling now?
00:57:46Uh...
00:57:46I feel good.
00:57:47I feel appreciative.
00:57:48And I feel like y'all shouldn't drink and drive.
00:57:51I'm sorry I said that.
00:57:57Insama.
00:57:59Last one.
00:58:00How do you feel?
00:58:02Uh...
00:58:03I just want to say, uh, I just love my family.
00:58:05My mom, my dad, my brothers, uh, and I'm just happy that they're watching.
00:58:08And that's really all that I'm feeling right now is love for them.
00:58:11That's it.
00:58:11For real.
00:58:12For real.
00:58:13Okay.
00:58:16All right.
00:58:18The vote is now closed.
00:58:20Okay?
00:58:21The vote is closed.
00:58:22And the results are in.
00:58:25It has been, I want to say, it has been an honor.
00:58:28An honor to watch all of these comics throughout the season.
00:58:31It truly has.
00:58:32Um, but it's no need to waste time.
00:58:35We're here.
00:58:35We're here now.
00:58:35So here we go.
00:58:36We are going to announce the top two.
00:58:40Okay?
00:58:41We're going to announce the top two.
00:58:44In no particular order.
00:58:45This is in no particular order based on the worldwide vote.
00:58:49The first comic into the top two is...
00:58:52Get my envelope.
00:58:53Get my envelope.
00:58:54Get me.
00:58:55We live.
00:58:55Give me the goddamn envelope.
00:59:01Before I open this envelope...
00:59:06I just want y'all to know...
00:59:08That the winner of this competition walks away...
00:59:12With a hour special on Netflix.
00:59:15On the platform.
00:59:20That's what the winner will get.
00:59:21And right now...
00:59:23Right now...
00:59:24We are a step closer to knowing who the winner will be.
00:59:27Because this is about the top two.
00:59:28So the first name of the top two is...
00:59:47Ron Taylor.
01:00:06Oh, shit.
01:00:10Oh, shit.
01:00:15Well, I want to know I want to know who else has made it into the top two. I
01:00:20Don't want to wait. I want to know I want to know who else is in the top two envelope
01:00:24get my envelope man
01:00:29Before I open this envelope I'm joking. I'm joking. I'm joking
01:00:38Osama Sadiqa
01:00:53Oh
01:00:58Listen listen
01:01:01Give me a second give me a second give me a second man
01:01:05Reg Caitlin before you guys leave a true heartfelt moment for me to you. I
01:01:10love the fact that
01:01:12You were eliminated
01:01:14Made an alternate came back came back with a chip on your shoulder and showed the fuck out you show
01:01:21Brother
01:01:24You you are a polished comedian. You are a seasoned comedian when you say you've been doing it for 15
01:01:29years
01:01:30It is obvious. It does not shock me. It does not blow me away
01:01:33Everything about you says poised polished more importantly man well crafted. Thank you for participating
01:01:39Thanks for being close
01:01:40Thank you very much for having me man
01:01:45Thank you so much
01:01:50I
01:01:52I
01:01:54I
01:01:55I
01:01:55I
01:01:55I
01:01:55I
01:01:55I
01:01:55I watched
01:02:17I
01:02:25I
01:02:26I
01:02:27I
01:02:27I
01:02:28I
01:02:28I
01:02:28I
01:02:36I
01:02:36I
01:02:37I
01:02:37I
01:02:37I
01:02:37I
01:02:37I
01:02:40I
01:02:41I'm such a huge fan of Caitlin and Reg I was wondering if you guys would want to open for
01:02:45me on my tour this
01:02:47song
01:02:47It's so long
01:02:47It would be
01:02:50I'm
01:02:51I just want my show to be as good as possible
01:02:54Hold on
01:02:56Hold on
01:02:58God dammit
01:03:00For those who did not hear what Nicki just said
01:03:04Nicki just offered Caitlin and Reg a fucking opportunity to open for her on the toilet
01:03:09I just want to be around you guys and learn from you. You're incredible. Just say yes. Will you do
01:03:17it? I'd love it. Get out of here. Go. Get out of here.
01:03:22All right. All right. Okay, guys. Shit, man. Come on up. Let's walk up right here. One on this side,
01:03:36one on this side. Okay.
01:03:37Okay. We are down to the top two. I mean, this is huge, guys. It's a huge accomplishment. It's a
01:03:46huge accomplishment, but unfortunately, only one of them will walk away with their very own Netflix comedy special. A lot
01:03:53of tension, a lot of pressure in the room, and it should be. So, fuck it. Let's just get to
01:03:59it. Okay? Here we go. Here we go. It's between Ron Taylor and it's between Osama Sadega.
01:04:08The viewers. The viewers around the world have voted. And the winner of Funny AF is...
01:04:19The winner of All Days.
01:04:49What?
01:05:02Hey man, hey man, just give me a second and I'm not gonna get, I'm not gonna get too
01:05:15emotional in the moment, but I know what it's like to have a fucking story, to have a hard
01:05:21story, to have a fucking hard story. You're looking at two real difficult roadmaps to
01:05:28get to this stage tonight, man, and I know the fucking feeling, Ryan, that you have in
01:05:32this moment, and I resonate with it, I see it on your fucking face. For somebody, for
01:05:41somebody that truly wants to see somebody else do amazing things in the business, it's
01:05:48dope as fuck to fucking help somebody with a story like yours. Congrats, man.
01:06:01Uh, bro, I'll, I'll say this, and, and I want the world to hear it. I don't know if you
01:06:09got a manager, I don't know if you got an agent, I don't know if you have representation, but
01:06:13I will tell you, your phone is about to light up, because you're a fucking star. You're
01:06:18a star. You're a star. At this point, man, I thank once again to all of our contestants
01:06:30that participated. Uh, what an amazing show, what an amazing journey. And yes, we can have
01:06:35one winner, but I told all of those that participated, you all win. You all got to show your face
01:06:40on
01:06:40the biggest platform. You all got to be seen. But celebrations are due, and Ryan Taylor, you
01:06:50deserve your fucking moment to stand in front of that crowd and goddamn reap the benefits of
01:06:53your win. Please make some noise for Ron fucking Taylor.
01:07:12Um, Ron, we, we, we just need to hear from you in this moment. Like, what are you, what are
01:07:22you feeling? What are you thinking? What does the moment mean to you?
01:07:30First of all, I want to say thank y'all, man. Thank y'all. Thank y'all. That's number
01:07:35one. Uh, I'm gonna be completely real with y'all. I, I, I did not think I was gonna win
01:07:41this
01:07:41bitch, dawg. I promise you. I swear, dawg. And I'm glad I was wrong. I'm gonna thank my family,
01:07:47all my friends, supporters, fans, everybody. I'm gonna make it my mission not to waste this
01:07:58opportunity, man. So I want to show y'all, y'all pick the right one. I love y'all. I
01:08:05want to thank
01:08:05you, brother Tom, Miss Nikki, brother Kev. I thank all of y'all, everybody. I just thank
01:08:10you. I love you. Appreciate it.
01:08:15Alright, uh, before we wrap up, two things I want to give you, Ron. One, I want to give you
01:08:20that card. I think you should keep that. This is the first season of Funny AF. Uh, you are
01:08:29my first winner on Funny AF. I can only hope that after this, so many more will want the
01:08:36same opportunity that was had for you, and that so many more strive to walk away with
01:08:42something as gracious as an hour Netflix special. I want you to take the moment, seize the moment,
01:08:46but yo, like, make sure you step up to the moment. Fuckin' knock this hour special out of the
01:08:51part, and goddamn it, I'm looking forward to seeing you on more things and doing more work
01:08:54with you. It's that simple, okay? Now, what I want to do, I want to invite you over here,
01:09:02before we go, I want to invite you to sit on the couch. That's right, come sit on the couch.
01:09:09Come sit on the couch. Because, Ron, you deserve a seat at the goddamn table, okay?
01:09:16You deserve a seat at the table. I gotta say thank you to Nikki. I gotta say thank you to
01:09:24Tom. Uh, I also gotta say thank you to my partners at Netflix. Thank you for believing
01:09:30in the vision, seeing the vision, and more importantly, supporting the outcome of the vision.
01:09:35There is no me without you, Netflix. I also want to thank all the viewers that participated,
01:09:40that voted. Uh, I want you guys to know, my name is Kevin Hart. Tune in for the roast
01:09:47on goddamn May 10th. I'm gonna fuck shit up. Good night.
01:10:10And welcome back to Jeff Capper.
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