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00:00From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live!
00:04Tonight, Steve Carell, Mike Tyson,
00:08and music from Avid Patton with The Klee Tones!
00:14And now, Jimmy Kimmel!
00:31Dear Mark, I am Jimmy.
00:34I'm the host.
00:34Thanks for watching.
00:35Thanks for joining us.
00:37Thanks for being here.
00:38Welcome to One and All on another busy week
00:44here in sunny Los Angeles.
00:46You know, we got the Lakers in the playoffs.
00:48We had Monday with Star Wars Day,
00:49yesterday with Cinco de Mayo,
00:51and we are smack dab in the middle of Teacher Appreciation Week.
00:54Do we have any teachers in our audience tonight?
00:57All right.
00:57We got one.
00:58We got two.
00:59We got four.
01:00We got a bunch here.
01:02This is the special week of the year.
01:04Every year when we honor the men and women
01:05who taught us about iambic pentameter
01:07and quadratic equations.
01:09Things we forgot almost immediately upon leaving school.
01:13Do you remember those things, Guillermo?
01:14Not at all, Jimmy.
01:15Nothing.
01:16But it is important, I think,
01:17that we pay tribute this week,
01:19not just to the teachers,
01:20but to all the education and education
01:22adjacent laborers out there.
01:24The lunch ladies, the janitors, the nurses,
01:26the counselors,
01:29and even the school crossing guards
01:32who hold those stop signs up high
01:34so our children can safely cross the street.
01:36And in particular, this gentleman from Philadelphia
01:39who saved a child from the wreckage of a car accident
01:43and, as a result, is an early front-runner
01:45for local news clip of the year.
01:47That stolen work truck overturned on its side on the playground.
01:51We spoke also to a crossing guard
01:53who was just steps away when all this happened.
01:56He says he rushed to get a child out of the playground.
01:59And I tell you, he ran the light, T-boned the lady.
02:03I'm bobbing and weaving.
02:05I'm just thankful.
02:06Thankful to be alive right now.
02:08Thank you, Jesus.
02:09I don't know which way to go
02:10because he ends up in the schoolyard.
02:12Luckily, I wasn't on the corner.
02:14I'm in the shade slightly
02:15because it's an 82-degree day today.
02:20See what happened there?
02:24He screamed.
02:25The kids screamed.
02:26They all screamed for a while.
02:27You know the rest.
02:28How good is that?
02:29Everyone being interviewed on the local news
02:31should have an ice cream cone in one hand.
02:33They were in there.
02:34I had to pull a kid out.
02:35No.
02:36I had to pull what's-her-name nephew out.
02:38What?
02:39Mm-hmm.
02:40What?
02:40No, what's-her-name nephew?
02:42Um, um, um...
02:42Thomas?
02:43Mm-hmm.
02:44Yes.
02:44So there were kids in there?
02:45Yes!
02:48Not all heroes wear capes.
02:50Some wear reflective vests.
02:51And, uh, I don't know about you.
02:53I say we need fewer ICE agents
02:55and more ice cream crossing guards.
02:57Am I right?
03:02So, um...
03:04I don't know if you heard,
03:05but they closed the Strait of Hormuz.
03:07Do you know that?
03:08Okay.
03:09The Strait of Hormuz is still closed for business,
03:11but the White House says we're closed to a deal.
03:14Uh, where have I heard that before?
03:15That...
03:16The details of this supposed deal
03:18are still very much in flux,
03:19as in, what the flux are we doing over there?
03:23According to sources familiar with it,
03:25it would include a moratorium on uranium enrichment
03:28for a period of longer than 10 years,
03:30which would be only five years shorter
03:32than the 15-year deal Obama made
03:35that Trump called the worst deal in history.
03:37And now he's going to top it
03:38by making an even worse, worse deal in history.
03:42It's called The Art of the Deal, folks.
03:43You should read the book.
03:44To keep the pressure on,
03:45he made another threat today.
03:47He said if they don't agree, the bombing starts,
03:50and it will be sadly at a much higher level
03:52and intensity than it was before.
03:54Thank you for your attention to this matter.
03:56His list of threats is now longer than Kash Patel's bar tab,
04:00which...
04:01I wonder which will open first,
04:03the straight of Hormuz or his ballroom,
04:06but this is how he does it.
04:07For him, a negotiation, it's like sex.
04:10He's bad at it.
04:11It mostly consists of flailing around,
04:14and he can only do it for a short amount of time
04:17before he starts yelling that he's finished.
04:24Meanwhile, the price of gas is up 52%
04:28since he started this mess.
04:30California has the most expensive gas in the country,
04:33which is a concern because most of our gas pumps
04:35only go up to $9.99.
04:39They might have to start pricing gas by the cup
04:42if this continues.
04:43Don't worry, though.
04:44According to Trump's money muppet, Kevin Hassett,
04:46the fact that everything costs more
04:48means things are going great.
04:50The consumer is really, really firing on all cylinders,
04:53just like the corporate sector
04:54you're seeing in the earnings reports,
04:56and they're doing that because they have
04:57so much more money in their pockets.
04:59In fact, I had the head of one of the big five banks
05:02in my office yesterday going through the credit card data,
05:04and just as Secretary Besant said,
05:06credit card spending is through the roof.
05:09They're spending more on gasoline,
05:10but they're spending more on everything else, too.
05:15I feel like that isn't quite the flex Kevin thinks it is.
05:18And with all this going on, poor Marco Rubio tomorrow
05:21has to go to the Vatican to make nice with the Pope.
05:24Marco Rubio plans to sit down with Pope Leo
05:26to discuss the attacks from our president,
05:29the war on Iran, and on a personal level,
05:31why God didn't answer his prayers for smaller ears.
05:35According to the U.S. ambassador to the Vatican,
05:38Rubio expects to have a frank meeting with the Pope.
05:41Yeah, I'm sure.
05:42This is a guy who wore a pair of giant shoes
05:44because they were a gift from Trump,
05:47and he was afraid to insult him by not wearing them,
05:50but also too embarrassed to admit
05:52he wears a size 7 and exchange them.
05:54He's gonna...
05:55This is the guy who's gonna confront the Pope.
05:57So Trump sent Rubio with a list of things to do.
06:01He's hoping to get the Pope down to five commandments.
06:04And while Marco is heading to take on the pontiff,
06:08he is also dealing with an Iranian leadership
06:10he doesn't seem to trust.
06:12The top people in that government are, to say the least,
06:15um, you know, um, they're insane in the brain.
06:19They should check themselves before they wreck themselves.
06:23Sounds to me like somebody's been listening
06:25to his hip-hop hits of 1993 CD.
06:29And one of the most...
06:31One of the most ridiculous things about this war
06:34is that half the time they talk about it,
06:36they don't call it a war,
06:37because you're supposed to get approval from Congress
06:39to go to war, which Trump did not do.
06:42On Monday, he called it a mini-war,
06:44and today, at a pre-Mother's Day event,
06:47he unveiled a new one.
06:48We're in a, uh, I call it a skirmish.
06:52Because that's what it is. It's a skirmish.
06:54It's a skirmish. He calls it a skirmish.
06:55First, it was an excursion,
06:57then it was a mini-war,
06:58and now it's a skirmish.
07:00Next month, it'll be a tiff.
07:02It'll be a $200 billion tiff.
07:05And then our president, who knows all the best words,
07:07by the way, offered a free vocabulary lesson.
07:10Drug traffic coming into our country is way down,
07:13and by sea, by sea, by ocean, by the water, you know?
07:18A lot of people say, what do you mean by sea?
07:20Is it sea, like vision?
07:21No, it's the S-E-A.
07:24Oh, I thought it was the sea, like senile.
07:26I didn't know.
07:29I was also confused by that.
07:32A lot of people come up to him and ask him,
07:34who are these lot of people who say this?
07:36And in what context are they saying it?
07:38Mr. President, that song, you know the song,
07:40Oh, Say Can You See?
07:41Is that about the ocean?
07:43Either he has a vivid imagination
07:45or he surrounded himself with the thickest people
07:48on the planet Earth.
07:49So this Mother's Day event was for a group of military moms.
07:53Melania showed up to read a prepared statement,
07:55which A, she obviously hadn't reviewed in advance,
07:59and B, showered praise not on the mothers for Mother's Day,
08:02but on her husband, the biggest mother of all.
08:07To the point where, and I've never seen this happen before,
08:12even Donald and Melania couldn't keep a straight face.
08:17Most know my husband as the strong commander-in-chief,
08:22but his empathy transcends the role
08:26and shape a caring leader.
08:31We finally got to see what makes them laugh.
08:34I really feel like I brought those two back together.
08:37I really do.
08:39I'm getting no credit for it.
08:43And by the way, for fans of the president
08:45who are looking to put their moms and America first on Sunday,
08:49have we got a brunch up for you.
08:51Your mom deserves a great Mother's Day meal.
08:55But brunch is for librarians, drag queens, and they-themes.
08:59Until now.
09:01Treat your mom to a MAGA Mama Day brunch,
09:04only at Guy Hop.
09:06Say goodbye to non-binary big games
09:09and whatever the frig of photographers.
09:12At Guy Hop, there are only two genders,
09:14sausage, and bacon.
09:16Does mommy want a mimosa?
09:19that.
09:20We got bottomless monster-osas!
09:24A mixture of brain alcohol, orange soda,
09:27monster energy drink, and Kid Rock's bandana sweat
09:30that is guaranteed to your mom up.
09:36It's true, I'm up!
09:40Woo!
09:41Woo!
09:41So get into Guy Hop and make brunch straight again.
09:45I love you, mom!
09:46I love you so much!
09:48Yeah!
09:49Guy Hop!
09:50If you've got two moms, go to hell.
09:53No, habla espanol.
09:56And then...
09:59That's not real, we made it up.
10:01Yeah.
10:02And then we have the cover-up that is even bigger
10:05than the cover-up on the president's hands,
10:07which was intense today.
10:09Did you see this?
10:10I mean, I don't know who's doing that to him,
10:12but at this point, I would recommend
10:15a good pair of mittens.
10:17And the cover-up I was talking about
10:19is, of course, the Trump Epstein files.
10:21Today in Washington, the Secretary of Commerce,
10:24Trump's pal Howard Lutnick, testified
10:27before the House Oversight Committee
10:28about the relationship with Jeffrey Epstein
10:30he denied he had.
10:31It was a closed-door session with no cameras present,
10:34but we did get to see him take a brisk walk
10:37before spending the next four hours
10:39claiming he doesn't remember anything.
10:40Lutnick's name appears more than 240 times in the files.
10:44They were neighbors in New York, he and Epstein,
10:47and in 2025, Lutnick claimed he hadn't seen Epstein
10:50since 2005 when he and his wife were at his house
10:53and they saw a massage table in the middle of the room
10:55and got creeped out.
10:56Lutnick said, I will never be in the room
10:58with that disgusting person ever again.
11:00And then it turned out, not only did he see Epstein again,
11:03in 2012, he brought his family and nannies
11:07for lunch on the island.
11:08So when the Commerce Secretary was asked back in February
11:11why he brought his children to an island
11:14owned by a convicted pedophile,
11:17he said, I don't recall why we did it, but we did.
11:20And that is the kind of clear-headed leadership
11:22we need in this country right now.
11:24And then you have the reported beef
11:26between the president and his head of the FDA.
11:29According to the Wall Street Journal,
11:30Trump spent this weekend angrily bullying
11:33FDA Commissioner Marty McCary,
11:35seen here moments after he graduated
11:37from the School of Stock Footage Doctors.
11:40They berated him for delaying approval
11:42of flavored electronic cigarettes.
11:45You may remember, Trump promised young MAGA
11:48that he would save vaping,
11:49which is as noble a cause as there is.
11:52And so, like a kid giving up his lunch money,
11:54the FDA finally authorized cotton candy-flavored e-cigarettes.
11:58This is what's important to him, vape pens.
12:01He's definitely been in Florida too long.
12:04And with that said, we have another nugget
12:06from our friends in the Sunshine State
12:07who've gifted us with yet another edition
12:10of This Week in Florida.
12:14This is the park deputies found Stanley Pascal
12:16after his reported mailbox-punching spree.
12:20He also was disrupting traffic
12:21by pulling his pants down
12:23and showing his genitals.
12:27I like it when...
12:28I like when a reporter gets sexy, you know?
12:31The state of Florida never stops giving,
12:34no matter how many times we ask them to,
12:36and I am delighted to say that.
12:38For the first time ever,
12:39they've given us not just one,
12:41but two editions of This Week in Florida This Week.
12:48Guys, there's literally a guy that's, like, flying,
12:53but that's not even the most impressive part.
12:56He has a dog on his jet ski.
12:59What in the world is going on?
13:02It's a dog on his jet ski.
13:04It's a Florida State bird.
13:06Hey, we've got a big choker tonight.
13:08Mike Tyson is with us tonight.
13:09We have music from the Ava brothers and Mike Patton,
13:13and we'll be right back with Steve Carell.
13:22We've got a big choker tonight.
13:28We'll be right back with Steve Carell.
13:32And we'll be right back.
13:33Hi, everyone.
13:34I'm sitting here with the Cletones,
13:35Lauren Smith and Bella Hicks.
13:37Thank you for being here tonight.
13:38We have one of the greatest fighters of all time.
13:41He has the Mike Tyson Invitational 2 starting July 24th in Las Vegas.
13:46Iron Mike Tyson is with us.
13:48And then later on, this is their self-titled album,
13:53The Avett Brothers and Mike Patton from Faith No More.
13:56Avett Patton is here with us tonight.
13:59Tomorrow night...
14:01Let's see.
14:02Tomorrow night, Sharon Stone and Katrina Belf will join us
14:05with music from Social Distortion.
14:06Our first guest tonight is an American we cherish.
14:09He's a terrific actor, and you can see that for yourself
14:12in the season finale of his new series, Rooster.
14:15Watch it Sunday on HBO and HBO Max.
14:17Please welcome Steve Carell.
14:31Welcome.
14:32How are you?
14:34And well.
14:36Good to see you.
14:36Good to see you.
14:38I was happy and surprised to see you and your wife, Nancy,
14:41at the Paul McCartney concert a few weeks ago.
14:43Wasn't that amazing?
14:44It was unbelievable.
14:44It was so great.
14:46I love him so much.
14:48I'd never heard of him before.
14:49I know.
14:50And he really killed it.
14:52Unreal.
14:53He really was.
14:53It was great.
14:54It made me start thinking, maybe I should not eat meat.
14:59I don't know.
14:59I don't know how he does it, and it's incredible.
15:02And the cavalcade of celebrities.
15:07Yeah, there were a lot of famous people there.
15:08And that was, I look over, and there's, I realized something at that concert.
15:15And I don't go to a lot of concerts.
15:17That was a really special one to go to.
15:20It was in a small venue.
15:22Yeah.
15:22But I realized I can't dance at concerts.
15:27I shouldn't do it anymore.
15:29I looked over, and there's Margot Robbie and Taylor Swift and Billie Eilish,
15:34and they're dancing.
15:36It's great.
15:36And I'm on the other side, like, you know.
15:39That's how I am, too.
15:40I don't know what to do.
15:43I'll clap a little bit.
15:44You, no, you did the right thing.
15:46What did I do?
15:47You were, your wife danced, and you kind of held back a little bit.
15:51Yeah, that's because I.
15:52And I look like a complete idiot.
15:54Yeah, well, I feel like we didn't, oh, you were dancing.
15:57I tried, a little bit.
15:59Now I wish I had observed you during the concert.
16:01Well, I was trying to do some subtle dancing, too, like this.
16:04I was just going.
16:07Just trying to stay in the beat.
16:08That's not dancing, that's calling your dog.
16:09I know.
16:13But I've lost it.
16:14That was a crazy night, though.
16:16It was really good.
16:16It really was, like, nuts.
16:18Like, you're looking around, and there's Ringo at the concert.
16:20I know.
16:21And you're like, what is happening here?
16:23There he is.
16:24I'm here with half of the Beatles.
16:26I know.
16:26It's crazy.
16:26I know.
16:27It's like a road map of your life.
16:29It's like, in his music, every song,
16:32you can just harken back to something that
16:35happened in your childhood.
16:36It's really, it really was moving.
16:38It is funny, too, because there's a certain, like,
16:40it's kind of divided, I think.
16:42Because for me, I'm 58.
16:44So for me, the first, of course, I heard the Beatles
16:47when I was a little kid.
16:48But the music that was popular was Wings.
16:51That was the, for me, the original Paul McCartney.
16:54And then I had to go back and learn about the Beatles.
16:57Right.
16:57Well, I'm 82, so I'm right there.
16:59Yeah.
17:00You look really good.
17:01I, I saw them at the, uh, I saw them in Liverpool.
17:08What was the first concert you went to?
17:10Uh, I went, it was the first date I was ever on, too.
17:15Oh.
17:16I went to, have you ever heard of Jethro Tull?
17:18Of course.
17:20Exactly.
17:21Yeah, yeah.
17:22Medieval rock flute.
17:23Yeah, that's right.
17:24And so my oldest brother, Greg, was a huge Jethro Tull fan.
17:29Of course he was.
17:30So was I, of course.
17:31Right, yeah.
17:32Whatever Greg listened to, all right.
17:34That's right.
17:34It's fantastic.
17:35Minstrel in the gallery.
17:37Thick as a brick.
17:37I love it.
17:39They are great songs.
17:40How old are you at this point?
17:41I, it was, it was early high school.
17:44Okay.
17:44And I asked a girl, her name was Katie Fershpan.
17:48So cute.
17:49First date ever.
17:50I was really nervous.
17:52And it was a triple date with two of my older brothers.
17:55And we picked her up and we went into Boston and saw,
17:59it was the worst experience.
18:02Because she wasn't, she wasn't a Jethro Tull fan.
18:05Really?
18:05You're telling me.
18:06And it was just.
18:07Teenage girl wasn't a Tull fan?
18:09I know.
18:10Almost all of the girls I do and I feel were huge Jethro Tull fan.
18:16But what made it worse is that my brothers kept, looked like side-eyeing me the whole time.
18:21Like, oh, oh, like little wings here and there.
18:24Did they have dates with them or it was just.
18:27Yeah, they had their, their girlfriends with them.
18:29So you really had to.
18:30It was, I was really under a microscope and it was so.
18:34The worst was walking to, walking her to her door at the end of the night.
18:38And I could just feel their prying eyes watching to see if anything happened.
18:44Did anything happen?
18:45I shook her hand.
18:49It was.
18:52And that was, and that was it.
18:53That was, that was the last date I ever had.
18:56You're generally uncomfortable with your body is what I'm seeing here, I think, right?
19:00Yeah.
19:01I feel the same way.
19:02I think so.
19:03I never really know what to do.
19:04Do you keep the ticket subs from all the concerts you go to?
19:06I do.
19:07I do.
19:08I, I.
19:09I do too, but there are not as many of them anymore.
19:12Now it's like on your phone.
19:13It's all digital.
19:14But I do, I, the last few weeks I've been going through bins of memorabilia.
19:19And old photographs.
19:22Oh, I think, oh, this, I have one of them here.
19:24Yeah, I, I, I sent you one that I dug up just a couple of days ago.
19:30And I don't remember ever seeing this.
19:32Now this is a photograph of you.
19:37Yeah.
19:38At what age?
19:3813.
19:41Why at 13 years old were you a 53-year-old Greek diner?
19:47Owner of a Greek diner.
19:48You know, I, I dug this out of...
19:52You look older here than you do now.
19:54I know.
19:56I know.
19:57And the, the Naugahyde couch and the hard side part.
20:01Yeah.
20:01I mean, you can understand why Katie Firshband didn't want a second date.
20:04You know, you look like Son of Sam.
20:09But it's, there's like a weird dysmorphia to it because I, I, I don't, I can't believe
20:18that's me.
20:19I can't either.
20:20You know what I mean?
20:21Like, you don't know what you actually look like.
20:24And then you see pictures and go, oh, okay, I get it.
20:27Oh, yeah.
20:27I get it.
20:28Well, you really blossomed.
20:30I'm going to tell you that.
20:32I think that's, I think that's a positive.
20:34You don't want to go the other way.
20:36Did you play an instrument yourself?
20:38I did.
20:38What'd you play?
20:39I played baritone horn.
20:41Oh, that's perfect.
20:42So I had that going for me.
20:44Oh, wow.
20:45I played baritone horn.
20:46Now most people, I was in band, so I know baritone horn.
20:49I played the clarinet.
20:50Oh, yeah.
20:51Oh, yeah, okay.
20:52We'll need to tell you that every night.
20:55Every night that somehow comes up, but.
20:58Clarinet, the clarinet players were the cool guys.
21:00Not at my school.
21:04The baritone horn, first of all, that's a real, that's a loner type instrument.
21:08Because there's not a section.
21:10It's just you, right?
21:11I've never heard it described that way.
21:13Your first chair.
21:14But it's exactly right.
21:15It is, it's like, because, because for, for fourth grade,
21:20the music instructor had a great thing.
21:22He could play every instrument.
21:24So he laid them all out on a stage,
21:26and he played every single one just to show the kids what they sounded like.
21:31Yeah.
21:32And you pick the one that you want to play,
21:34and we're going to have a band.
21:35And me and Clint Bajakian said, baritone horn, baby.
21:41And everyone else was drums or trumpet or anything.
21:45Yeah, the instruments that you can, like, play in public.
21:48Yeah.
21:48Yeah.
21:50But baritone horn, like, there's, I remember,
21:53I can visualize the kids who played baritone in our band.
21:56And you know what they look like?
21:57They all look just like this.
22:04So, so I, I had, so I had that, baritone horn,
22:09baritone horn, and I was a Revolutionary War reenactor.
22:13Oh, boy.
22:14So, so you add those three components.
22:17Which side were you on?
22:18Um, I, I was actually on both.
22:22You know what?
22:23That's very even-handed, yeah.
22:25You, uh, you know, we're, you and I are on,
22:27we have a big charity show tomorrow night at the Hollywood Bowl,
22:31the Night of Too Many Stars.
22:32I'm actually playing clarinet.
22:34Do you still have a baritone horn?
22:36I do.
22:37I could use accompaniment.
22:39Oh, you do.
22:43This is like, by any chance, by any chance,
22:46do you know Anchors Away?
22:48Well, I think there's one song that we're playing as a group,
22:52and there are other, your friend John Stewart is part of this.
22:55Oh, really?
22:56He's playing the drums.
22:57I don't want to give too much away, but think about it.
23:01Think about it.
23:01Yeah.
23:02I'll tell you during the commercial.
23:03You know what? Send me the track.
23:04I'll send me the track.
23:06Steve Carell is here.
23:07His show is called Ruth.
23:15Last night I was watching TV,
23:17and It's a Wonderful Life came on,
23:18and I love the character of George Bailey so much
23:22that I had to watch it all the way through to the end.
23:25What's It's a Wonderful Life?
23:27You're kidding me.
23:28Every time a bell rings, an angel gets its wings.
23:31Is that, like, a Christian movie?
23:33Because, no, thank you.
23:34No, it's not Christian, per se.
23:36It's, uh, well, it's a Christmas movie.
23:38But, um, so, yeah, I guess it's kind of Christian.
23:41That is Steve Carell in Rooster.
23:43He's going to watch on HBO and HBO Max simultaneously, if you like.
23:49This is, uh, now, really, you've got, like,
23:51it's a really good show,
23:52and you've got a really, really good cast
23:54that you've put together there.
23:55Yeah, I don't know.
23:56Are you involved in that?
23:58Choosing?
23:58No, no.
23:59Not well, sort of.
24:00A little bit?
24:01They would sort of run names by me,
24:03but, um, Alison Jones is a casting director,
24:06and she did an amazing job.
24:08It's a great ensemble.
24:09It's really a great group of people.
24:10It's not about cockfighting,
24:11which I was disappointed in.
24:12Just a little bit.
24:15Yeah, it's about a guy.
24:16It's about an author,
24:18uh, someone sort of akin to Carl Hyasson,
24:21who goes to visit his daughter,
24:22who is a professor at a small liberal arts college,
24:26and, uh, one thing leads to another,
24:28and he ends up staying
24:29to be a temporary writer-in-residence.
24:32And he, and teacher, as well.
24:34And teacher, yeah.
24:34Have you done any teaching of any kind, ever?
24:37Um, I taught a little bit at Second City.
24:38Oh, yeah, okay, all right.
24:40Well, that's teaching, right?
24:41Yeah, not really.
24:43It was teaching improv, but...
24:45You, uh, do people,
24:46do you find that there are people now,
24:49maybe they're young,
24:49that don't even know you were on The Daily Show?
24:52I'm sure there are, yeah.
24:54But you don't encounter that in your, in your life?
24:57I don't get a lot of Daily Show shout-outs.
24:59You don't anymore, huh?
25:00No.
25:00Yeah, no.
25:01Oh, you were so good on The Daily Show.
25:02Colbert and I knew we had made it.
25:04Thanks.
25:05When Stephen and I were working on that show together,
25:08we knew we'd made it
25:10when the barista at Starbucks
25:13wrote our name without us telling them our name.
25:15Oh, yeah, that's big.
25:16That was like, okay.
25:18Easy for him, though.
25:19There's two Steves walk in.
25:20I mean, how complicated could it be, you know?
25:22But still, I don't want to take anything away from you.
25:26So Jon Stewart is hosting
25:28that Night of 100 Stars tomorrow.
25:31Yeah.
25:31And we just dug up, we,
25:33we dug up a clip of you.
25:35Um, I think this was a segment where you were, uh, diet.
25:38It was a diet segment, a healthy eating segment.
25:40Slimming down with Steve.
25:42Slimming down with Steve.
25:43Now, take a look at this.
25:48If you'll notice, it says
25:50all
25:52vegetable.
25:54Right.
25:54A couple of scoops of this.
25:56I get all the vegetables I need.
25:58I actually think it's, it's, it's, it's shortening,
26:01vegetable shortening, so it doesn't...
26:02It serves up just like ice cream.
26:05Mmm.
26:07Mmm.
26:12Mmm.
26:14Mmm.
26:14Mmm.
26:15Mmm.
26:16Mmm.
26:17Mmm.
26:18Mmm.
26:19Mmm.
26:20All right, I have a question for you about that.
26:22Yeah.
26:23Was that Crisco?
26:25Oh, yeah.
26:25Yeah.
26:25It was.
26:26That's what I thought it was.
26:27Yeah.
26:27You could just tell.
26:29Right?
26:29That's why I did it.
26:31Because I really wanted to gross out John.
26:35They said you could, we could mock up vanilla frosting
26:38to make it, it would look exactly the same.
26:40But I thought, no, it has to be gross.
26:41It would, though.
26:43There's a slipperiness there that you cannot duplicate.
26:45There is a slipperiness days later.
26:49Oh, there is, yeah.
26:51Really?
26:52Oh, yeah.
26:53The lubricant.
26:54Yeah.
26:57I'm hearing this odd moan coming from over here.
26:59From the inside, too.
27:01That's Guillermo.
27:01He's just hungry.
27:04Um, yeah, well, let's do this tomorrow night.
27:06We'll get our horns.
27:08We'll Crisco ourselves up.
27:11We'll go out there and we'll, you know,
27:13one for the band geeks, you know?
27:15Steve Carell, everybody.
27:17Watch his show.
27:18The season finale of Rooster.
27:20Sunday night on HBO and HBO Max.
27:23Thank you, Steve.
27:24We'll be back with Mike Tyson.
27:36Tomorrow on Jimmy Kimmel Live,
27:39Sharon Stone, Katrina Balfe,
27:41and music from Social Distortion.
27:54Hi there.
27:55You're welcome back.
27:56That's Lauren Smith and Bella Heck sitting in with the Cletones.
27:59Music from Avett Patton is on the way.
28:01Forty years ago this November,
28:03our next guest became the youngest ever heavyweight champion
28:06of the world.
28:07Now he's showcasing new fighters.
28:09The Mike Tyson Invitational 2 starts July 24th in Las Vegas.
28:13Please welcome the impenetrable, inconceivable Mike Tyson.
28:18How are you?
28:37I'm doing good.
28:38I'm doing good.
28:39Welcome.
28:39Welcome.
28:41You look like an angel.
28:42Look at you all in white.
28:43Wow.
28:44Hey, listen.
28:45I wanted to give this a gift.
28:47This is for my Mike Tyson.
28:48For me?
28:49Yeah.
28:49Oh, wow.
28:53Now this is, is this what you give the champion?
28:55Yes.
28:56It's for my Mike Tyson Invitational,
28:58and I have all the fighters from all over the world.
29:00Oh.
29:02Yeah.
29:02What do you think?
29:04What do you think?
29:06This could really, you know what?
29:07This could be, yeah.
29:13I like it, because this could offset the,
29:15the nerd thing with my clarinet this weekend.
29:18Is that tough?
29:18Well, you don't like my clarinet?
29:20I'll beat your ass.
29:21It looks, it looks great on you.
29:23I like it.
29:23Thank you so much.
29:24Oh, it's pushing into my testicles.
29:28So, Mike, you are, you know, I grew up in Las Vegas.
29:31Yeah.
29:31And I love boxing.
29:34You know, I love, especially I got to go see a lot.
29:36I didn't get to go to the fights,
29:37because they were too expensive when I was a kid.
29:38But I would get to go see the, the greats.
29:40They're sparring and training.
29:42I saw Ali.
29:43I saw Larry Holmes.
29:44I saw Duran, Sugar Ray Leonard, you name it.
29:47I saw all of these guys that you probably got to know.
29:51Yes.
29:51Over the years.
29:52Do you, like, you're holding this, this boxing tournament.
29:55Are you concerned that, that people are, like,
29:58boxing is being overshadowed by, by MMA and these,
30:03and people slapping each other in the face?
30:04Boxing is being overshadowed by bike riding.
30:07You know, it's just that they don't do it often enough.
30:11And that's why with these young kids coming up,
30:13we're doing this four times a year.
30:15And by then they can go to other tournaments
30:17and they can constantly get experience.
30:19So you have to think about within, within 44 years,
30:23they all, they probably have 40 fights, 50 fights.
30:25And that's, that's something.
30:27Mm-hmm.
30:27Right.
30:27These are teenagers, right, that are fighting in this tournament?
30:30Because Roberto Duran has a team, and he challenged my team
30:33by having to develop a team yet.
30:35But I have a partially, partially team development.
30:38Then we're going to go fight Panama, Mexico, Great Kingdom,
30:43all, all over the world.
30:44And you are, you've moved from Las Vegas now, right?
30:47To Florida.
30:48No, I live in Florida.
30:49I have a house in Florida.
30:51Oh.
30:51I'm, I'm in Las Vegas.
30:52Las Vegas where I'm going to live and die.
30:54OK, good.
30:54All right, good.
30:55I'm glad to hear that.
30:56I like that.
30:56Because I, I'm imagining you like in a retirement community,
31:00playing pickleball.
31:02No way.
31:02No.
31:02Eating dinner at 5 o'clock.
31:04No way.
31:04I got to drive late at night, get up at 4 in the morning,
31:07then go for a ride somewhere, play with my pigeons.
31:10You know what I mean?
31:11Come back, play with my pigeons, FIT.
31:13I can't go to sleep.
31:14I like that.
31:15That's what I like.
31:15And Florida is nothing but, you know, weak, weak.
31:18You see the mush rats running by.
31:20You know, it's not that alligators.
31:22Oh, yeah.
31:22When the alligators, when you see the alligators,
31:24do they get scared of you?
31:26I do.
31:26No, but I always call this little white guy.
31:29He's like 100 pounds.
31:30He comes.
31:30He takes off his boots.
31:31He throws them in the figure four legs.
31:34Like, they submit.
31:35He ties them up.
31:36And then I take pictures with them.
31:39Do they recognize you, the alligators?
31:41Do they like, hey, my cousin.
31:43Well, I don't know.
31:43They're tied up.
31:44I don't know if they're in a friendly mode or anything.
31:48Do you ever go to Mar-a-Lago when you are in Florida?
31:51All the time.
31:51All the time.
31:52All the time.
31:52Why are you going there?
31:53What goes on there?
31:54Could that possibly be fun?
31:56I was there once, and I've never seen older people in my life.
31:59No.
31:59When did you go?
32:00Did you go?
32:01A long...
32:01Believe me, I'm not allowed there anymore.
32:04I want to be a long time.
32:07Mar-a-Lago is one of the best places in the world to be and hang out.
32:12Do you smoke weed there when you get to Mar-a-Lago?
32:14Well, I'm not going to tell you that.
32:15I'm not telling anybody.
32:17I'm an upright citizen.
32:23You are now, like, you're kind of a part of the Trump administration, right?
32:27Do you believe that?
32:28Hey, it could...
32:29I got too many felons.
32:31I can't be.
32:33I have a feeling...
32:34Well, see, he's got more than you do.
32:39I never thought about that.
32:40You think of it that way.
32:41I never thought about that.
32:42You've known Trump, I know, since, like, the 80s, when you would have fights at his
32:45casinos.
32:46But you're working with Robert Kennedy Jr. on one of the few not-crazy projects that he
32:52has, which is encouraging people to eat healthy.
32:54Hey, listen, I lost my sister at 25.
32:57From unhealthy eating?
32:58Obesity, yes.
32:59Yes.
32:59Yes, yes.
33:00I'm very...
33:01I'm very...
33:02That's a trigger for me when I see somebody that may be obese.
33:06It's just...
33:06It's just a bad experience.
33:08You had mentioned...
33:09I saw that Super Bowl PSA you did.
33:11Yeah.
33:12Telling people about, you know, how you discovered healthy eating.
33:15But you, at that time, said you would eat a quart of ice cream an hour.
33:19Well, probably maybe two hours.
33:21But I ate a lot.
33:22A lot of ice cream.
33:23Yeah.
33:23What kind of ice cream does Mike Tyson eat?
33:25Chocolate chip, cookies and cream.
33:27Uh-huh.
33:28Yeah.
33:28And do you have, like, a huge...
33:29When you're eating that much ice cream, a huge freezer just full of ice cream?
33:32Yes, I do.
33:33Uh-huh.
33:33Unless I have somebody go get it.
33:35And when you smoke now, you don't have the urge to rip the door off that freezer and hit
33:40the ice cream, you know, really teach Ben and Jerry a lesson?
33:43Well, I developed a different lifestyle.
33:46Wow.
33:46You did.
33:47Yeah.
33:47What do you eat now when you're, like, craving, like, when you're high?
33:51Um, if I'm high?
33:53Yeah.
33:53We'll eat a bunch of grapes and...
33:55What are those sumo, sumo, um, oranges?
33:58The sumo oranges, those big juicy apples that get...
34:02Oh, go for the fruit.
34:04Yeah, I'm a fruit guy.
34:05Because I'm doing a lot of, um, whatchamacallit?
34:07Um, you know, what's that called again?
34:11Uh, I don't know.
34:15No, it's not fasting.
34:17It's, um, you eat it, you chew on it.
34:20Drugs?
34:20What is it?
34:22Psychedelic.
34:23Psychedelic.
34:23Oh, psychedelics.
34:24Oh.
34:25All right.
34:27You know what?
34:30I was thinking, like, I was thinking raisins.
34:33I do a lot of psychedelics.
34:36You've been doing a lot of...
34:37What psychedelics do you...?
34:38Mushrooms.
34:38Oh, mushrooms, yeah.
34:39Mushrooms, yeah.
34:40Do you like the mushrooms?
34:41Well, um, every now and then I make a mistake and I take a little too much.
34:46You do.
34:47Do you hallucinate?
34:48I feel a lot of interesting .
34:50You do.
34:52Is there something that comes to mind that you could share that you've seen either recently
34:56or is most notable?
35:02Well, I'd rather not explain that to you at this particular moment.
35:06Have you ever seen, you've been visited by aliens or anything like that?
35:09Or is that kind of thing?
35:11Or are you just seeing colors?
35:11Well, in my particular, um, fantasy, I'm particularly the alien.
35:16You're the alien.
35:16I'm the alien.
35:17I see.
35:18And I'm cruising around trying to find the right people to do the right thing to.
35:24To do the alien stuff too.
35:26Yeah.
35:27Stuff they never heard of before.
35:30That's what makes an alien.
35:32They never heard of it.
35:32Have you had any, um, spiritual experiences?
35:35Like you've seen God or anything like that?
35:37Well, I haven't...
35:38I can't say I've seen God, but I've felt him.
35:40You did?
35:41Yeah, I felt him.
35:42What...
35:43Was that mushrooms that you felt God?
35:44Nah, man.
35:47It's not mushrooms, man.
35:48You don't...
35:49People don't do...
35:49I'm a square.
35:50I don't know.
35:50The toad, dude.
35:51The toad.
35:52Oh, right.
35:52You told me about that.
35:54Yeah, the toad.
35:55The bufo toad or something?
35:56Bufo.
35:57Alivarez, yes.
35:58That's a toad from the, like, the Arizona desert.
36:00Yes.
36:01And they squeeze it.
36:03Nope, nope.
36:04Yeah, they squeeze the pimples on them, I guess.
36:07A little pus goes on the window, it hardens, and then we find it up to a little dust and
36:12take
36:12a light, and they go, beat me up.
36:17And you find that the experience, you're not just doing this for fun.
36:22No, no, no.
36:22You feel like it's helping you.
36:24No, um, well, listen, um, 17 years ago, I was living, I was homeless, and look at me now.
36:35You were homeless 17 years ago.
36:36Yeah, I was homeless.
36:38Living with my wife and our kid, our daughter.
36:41And, you know, we did the toad, and it started happening.
36:45Unbelievable.
36:46Can you believe?
36:46At 49, 48, I said, I'm gonna fight somebody.
36:49After doing the toad, I'm gonna fight a mother .
36:51Can you believe that?
36:53Next thing you know, I'm in there with Roy Jones.
36:55Next thing you know, I'm in there with the Jake Paul guy.
36:58Next thing you know, I'm in this big mansion, you know?
37:01The next thing you know, I'm just, I ain't Mike again.
37:05You feel like that is related to the toad.
37:09Huh?
37:10Have you ever thought about having an all, like, um, toad, uh, fight, uh, tournament,
37:17where everyone fighting takes toad, uh, what is it, venom?
37:21Or what kind of, what is in that?
37:22That would be a very interesting tournament.
37:24Yeah.
37:26Right after taking the toad, right?
37:28Oh, that would be...
37:29Mr. Toad's Wild Ride.
37:30Have you ever done that one?
37:32Tell me that.
37:33Do you know the Mr. Toad's Wild Ride at Disney?
37:35No.
37:36Oh, it's a ride.
37:37Are you serious?
37:38I'm totally serious.
37:39Who knows that ride?
37:41Yeah!
37:42Oh!
37:45Mike.
37:45Yes.
37:46Can we go to Disneyland, take the toad venom, and go on Mr. Toad's Wild Ride?
37:52Please.
37:57If you did the toad, you wouldn't want to go on the ride.
38:01All you be thinking about is God.
38:03Let me make that decision.
38:05No, you're not.
38:05Listen.
38:06You're not going to think you're the person you are once you do it.
38:10Well, whoever I am, I want to be on that ride.
38:13Oh.
38:13With you, sitting right next to me.
38:16Yeah.
38:17Consider it.
38:18Think about it.
38:19For my 60th birthday.
38:20Definitely for you.
38:20Definitely for you.
38:21That'll be my party.
38:23Well, it's great to see you.
38:2460.
38:25I look forward to the tournament.
38:26Listen, you were 20.
38:2760 was like, ooh, huh?
38:28It still is.
38:29Oh, wow.
38:29Yeah, yeah.
38:30It's still tough, yeah.
38:31But I'm a heavyweight champion now, right?
38:33Yes.
38:35July 24th and 25th at the Sahara Hotel in Las Vegas.
38:40I wanted to tell you this.
38:41Yeah.
38:42Me and you have been doing this since 2003.
38:44That's right.
38:45You were here for us the very first year.
38:482003.
38:49I know.
38:50It's crazy, right?
38:51Yeah.
38:51We were just young men.
38:52A lot of guys have died since then.
38:54We're still here.
38:57Mike Tyson, everybody.
39:12Thanks to Steve Carell and Mike Tyson.
39:15Apologies to Matt Damon.
39:16We ran out of time for him.
39:17Nightline is then for first.
39:19This is their self-titled album
39:21with the song Disappearing Avid Patton.
39:44I'm disappearing again.
39:48Holding on, but I can't for much longer.
39:53The clouds are collecting and moving back in.
39:59And I'm disappearing again.
40:11I'm disappearing again.
40:14I'm disappearing again.
40:16Like a note from an old violin.
40:20Tapering on and reaching the end.
40:26And I'm disappearing again.
40:33Maybe it won't be for long.
40:38Maybe it's only a fluke.
40:42Maybe I'll be back tonight.
40:47Maybe I'll come back to you.
40:56I'm disappearing again.
40:58Maybe it won't be for long.
41:01This time it feels like forever.
41:05Drifting away like a leaf in the wind.
41:11And I'm disappearing again.
41:18Maybe it's only a fluke.
41:20Maybe I'll come back around.
41:23Maybe I will recover.
41:28Maybe I'll be here tomorrow
41:32Maybe I'll escape the
41:35Maybe I'll escape the
41:37Maybe I'll escape the
41:39Sorrow
41:56Maybe I'll escape the
41:58Sorrow
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