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Jimmy Kimmel Live - Season 24 - Episode 89: Chelsea Handler, Chris Robinson
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00:00Under the Trump administration, we want to make it possible for every American to live that American dream in a
00:07beautiful home.
00:08And it's really the one that they pick. It's going to be the apple of their eye.
00:12So I just want to thank everybody. Our country is doing really well.
00:15It's being thought of all over the world with great respect again, more than maybe it's ever had.
00:21Thank you very much. Have a good time.
00:24From Hollywood, it's Jimmy Kimmel Live.
00:28Tonight, Chelsea Handler and Chris Robinson hit the Kletos.
00:35And now, Jimmy Kimmel Live.
00:49Thank you very much, Tom.
00:57I'm Jimmy. I'm the host of the show.
01:00Thank you. Thank you for watching. Thanks for breathing the heat to be here.
01:03Oh, my God, it was hot. It was like 500 degrees here today. It's winter. It's March still.
01:11And it feels like we're in a Bikram yoga studio. It's probably... It was the hottest St. Patrick's Day ever
01:17today in L.A.
01:19The all-time recorded high was 94 degrees back in 1914. Today, it was 97.
01:25Remember when it used to get chilly here in March, Guillermo?
01:28I miss those days.
01:30How hot is it going to be in the summer?
01:32Like, 105, 104. Terrible.
01:35Thank you for the specifics.
01:37You're welcome.
01:38Drink up, everybody. We're in a lot of trouble.
01:41Yeah.
01:41How many of you have been drinking today? Just a quick show of hands.
01:44Okay.
01:47And how many are just Barney Stone tonight?
01:50Yeah, all right.
01:51You know, my kids this morning had to wear green like you do when you go to school.
01:54But we got this email a few days ago from the school that said,
01:58We know many kids get excited about the tradition of wearing green.
02:02Some may have heard that if you don't wear green, you might get pinched.
02:05While we love celebrating holidays and learning about traditions,
02:08we also want to make sure that everyone feels comfortable and respected at school.
02:12Please take a moment to remind your child that pinching is not allowed,
02:16even if it's meant to be in good fun.
02:18Thank you for your help in making St. Patrick's Day a fun and respectful celebration for everyone.
02:24Hey, listen, you know what?
02:25A celebration can be fun or it can be respectful.
02:28It cannot be both.
02:29But then I had to sit the kids down and I had to explain that fun is dead now.
02:35There's no more fun.
02:36These children, they've already been robbed of noogies and wedgies,
02:40and now they're not even allowed to purple and nurple on St. Patrick's Day anymore.
02:45The St. Patrick's epicenter of the United States, if not the world, is Boston, Massachusetts.
02:50They had their big parade on Sunday where the adults got a warning for that one, too.
02:58The South Boston St. Patrick's Day parade are hoping to see far fewer Borgs on Sunday.
03:02Well, what is a Borg?
03:04Well, Borg stands for Blackout Rage Gallon.
03:07Their drinks made in gallon jugs, usually containing vodka, electrolytes, water,
03:12and then added flavoring like Kool-Aid.
03:15Basically, it's an energy drink.
03:17I like that they add electrolytes to the Blackout Rage Gallon.
03:24Hey, watch your mouth, Kimmel!
03:26Kimmel!
03:28Watch your mouth!
03:29This is my culture, okay, you freaking dongweasel!
03:33I'm sorry, do I know you?
03:36All right, Sean Patrick O'Leary, Brockton, Massachusetts.
03:38What's up, kid?
03:39What's up?
03:41Oh, Sean.
03:41Woo!
03:42Woo!
03:43All right, you know what?
03:44Woo!
03:46Woo!
03:46I don't know, just to be clear, drinking from a jug until you black out is your culture?
03:54Yeah, it is.
03:56Okay.
03:57I'll have you know my great-grandfather, Sean Patrick O'Leary III, would regularly get ripped
04:04to the tits off of pitches of hot lager and peppermint schnapps.
04:09They're good stuff, and also my very sweet grandmother, Seanur, Patrick O'Leary, she used
04:16to slam boards like this while she was bouncing me on her pale Irish knee!
04:21And your parents allowed this?
04:24My parents are in jail, dude.
04:26Oh, okay.
04:27All right.
04:27The slammer?
04:28Perhaps you've heard of it, dude.
04:30I have heard of it.
04:30Yeah, yeah.
04:31And Walpole.
04:32Okay, well, I'm sorry that your parents are in jail.
04:34Hey, listen, I still turned out pretty good, wouldn't you say?
04:37I mean, can you believe?
04:39Yeah, thank you.
04:43This is Pete's male performance.
04:46Can you believe I'm already 26 years old?
04:49You look great.
04:51You really do.
04:51Yeah, it's clean living.
04:52Hey, listen, haven't you heard?
04:53This s*** got electrolytes!
04:54Yeah, I did hear that in the news.
04:56Hey, roll this, darling.
04:57Do you mind if we get back to the thing?
04:58Hey, do you mind if I smoke in here?
05:00No, you cannot smoke in here.
05:01Oh, come on.
05:02What a rip-off.
05:03I'm wicked good at chif-chiefing eaters!
05:05Oh, okay.
05:06Thank you so much, Sean.
05:07Please remain silent in your chair, okay?
05:11Guillermo?
05:12Nothing?
05:13Nothing.
05:15All right.
05:15Potter?
05:16Ah, where were you?
05:17Oh, yeah.
05:17At the White House today, the Prime Minister of Ireland visited Donald Trump.
05:23The Irish Prime Minister has a standing appointment to get together with the President of the
05:26United States once a year, just like Melania.
05:29Prime Minister Martin brought a bowl of shamrocks to the President, which is the customary
05:35gift and also the closest Trump's gotten to a salad that isn't in a taco challenge in
05:40quite some time.
05:41You know, Ireland has both a Prime Minister and a President.
05:45Their President has been critical of Trump's war on Iran, and the Prime Minister today
05:50had to sit by quietly while Trump was asked about that.
05:53The Irish President has said that the war against Iran is illegal, it's the top of international
05:59law.
06:00Who said that?
06:00The Irish President.
06:02Look, uh, he's lucky I exist.
06:07Well, then you should probably know that he is a she.
06:09The President of Ireland is a woman named Catherine Connolly.
06:14You know, yesterday he made the same mistake about the President of Venezuela, who's also
06:19a woman.
06:19The guy who's constantly screaming about transgender can't tell a he from a she anymore.
06:24Now, one of Trump's top intelligence officials caused him some tumult by resigning today in
06:32opposition to the war.
06:34Joe Kent, Trump's director of the National Counterterrorism Center, wrote, I cannot in
06:39good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran.
06:41Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation.
06:44And this is not some radical deep state operative left over from the Biden administration.
06:49Kent was a big MAGA guy that Trump appointed.
06:52You get the sense that every one of these Republicans has their ass cheeks clenched tightly
06:57right now, hoping he puts an end to this war as soon as possible.
07:01Trump said he will end it when he feels it in his bones.
07:05And then today, squeaker of the House Mike Johnson was asked to clarify that remark.
07:10He said, well, I think his bones are informed by the intelligence, which seems unlikely to
07:16me seeing as how he doesn't even read the intelligence briefings they give him every
07:20day.
07:20His bones aren't informed by intelligence.
07:23His bones are informed by fried chicken and Boniva, OK?
07:27Trump is so unhappy now with the news coverage of his little excursion into Iran.
07:34He had his lapdog at the FCC threatened to pull the broadcast license from the
07:40major networks.
07:41But what the president may lack in positive press from the networks, there are many patriots
07:45out there on deep cable, including Greg Kelly of Newsmax, who announced that the war has
07:50been won and something else.
07:53I'm not exactly sure.
07:54You know, I think we kind of just won the war as a real possibility of did you see it?
08:03They gave us pretty much everything we want.
08:06Yes, they're still lobbying things here and there.
08:08But no, I think we got this.
08:12OK, dead, alive, gay, we don't know, but we are winning and it could happen very, very soon.
08:18Total and complete victory.
08:22Honestly, I have to say,
08:26I think dead, alive, gay could be the new F. Mary kill.
08:29That's quite, that's a game, right?
08:31Hey, Kimmel, Kimmel, where's the waiter?
08:35What?
08:36What, are you hearing impaired?
08:38No, I'm not hearing impaired.
08:39I said, where is the f***ing waiter?
08:42We don't have a waiter.
08:44I am so thirsty.
08:45I need like six beers ASAP.
08:48I am wicked parched.
08:49Aren't you holding like half a gallon of vodka and whatever else in there?
08:53Oh, yeah.
08:55Yeah.
08:55I f***ing, I f***ing forgot.
08:59Happy St. Patrick's Day, OK?
09:02Hey, you want a swig?
09:04What?
09:06I said you want a swiggy poo.
09:08I'm scared.
09:09I'm hosting the show.
09:10I know, I don't want one.
09:12I'm hosting the show, thank you.
09:13Oh, are you?
09:15So sorry, I apologize.
09:18He's hosting.
09:20Hey, remember when you used to be cool?
09:22Where the f*** is Adam Carolla?
09:25Hey, everyone, ziggy-zaggy, ziggy-zaggy, oi, oi, oi, oi.
09:28Ziggy-zaggy, ziggy-zaggy, oi, oi, oi.
09:31Guillermo, will you do something about this already?
09:34It's a patch, Jimmy.
09:35Let me have some fun.
09:38You know, things aren't going too good for King Hungry VIII right now,
09:42because he is, um, he's doomed in the midterms.
09:45He knows that.
09:45And so now he's pushing what he calls the Save America Act
09:48on Republicans in Congress.
09:50He said the Save America Act is one of the most important
09:53and consequential pieces of legislation in the history of Congress
09:57and America itself.
09:58No more rigged elections.
10:00No rigged mail-in voting.
10:01We are the only country in the world that allows this.
10:04Which, no, we aren't.
10:05Dozens of other countries allow voting.
10:07Canada, Spain, Germany, Switzerland, you, but go on.
10:10No men in women's sports.
10:12No transgender mutilization, which is not a word, by the way.
10:17And what do men in women's sports have to do with voting by mail?
10:21I don't, maybe he's confusing M-A-I-L with M-A-L-E.
10:24I don't know.
10:25But then comes the threat.
10:27He says only sick, demented, or deranged people in the House or Senate
10:31could vote against the Save America Act.
10:33If they do, each one of these points separately will be used against the user
10:37in his, her political campaign for office, a guaranteed loss.
10:41I will never, ever endorse anyone who votes against Save America.
10:46And that, you know he means business because that's in all caps.
10:49He means he capped his pants once again, and this Save Act, let me, this is nothing more
10:56than his attempt to hijack this upcoming election.
10:59It doesn't protect your right to vote.
11:01It does the opposite.
11:02It makes voting so difficult, a lot of people won't bother to do it, which is what he wants.
11:06In order to vote, you would need either a passport or a birth certificate to prove citizenship.
11:11In a lot of states, a driver's license alone won't do it.
11:14And on top of that, this problem he's trying to solve of non-citizen voting, it is not a problem.
11:21We all agree people who aren't here legally shouldn't be allowed to vote here, but they're not.
11:26That's the thing.
11:27In Michigan, for example, in 2024, 0.00028% of the votes were illegal.
11:35That is 15 people in a state with almost 88 million registered voters.
11:40There are more people masturbating in the voting booths than voting illegally.
11:45And by the way, those 15 people, that 0.00028, you know what happened to those people?
11:53They caught them.
11:54They got all of them.
11:55They got all 15.
11:56Meanwhile, half of U.S. citizens don't have a passport.
11:59That's 170 million of us.
12:02And do you know where your birth certificate is?
12:04Mine is with my baby teeth.
12:06I have no idea where it is.
12:08There is no election fraud to stop.
12:10This is an imaginary problem vomited up by our sore loser president,
12:14who still can't deal with the fact that he lost to Joe Biden,
12:17and knows he's about to lose bigly, so he's just making stuff up.
12:22And then they have no mail-in ballots.
12:23No mail-in ballots.
12:25We have no mail-in.
12:26You go to California, they send out like 38 million ballots.
12:31Some Democrats get seven, eight ballots.
12:35Republicans are a lot of times calling in.
12:37Where's my ballot?
12:38Where's my ballot?
12:39They're lucky to get one.
12:41Did you get seven or eight ballots last time?
12:44No, I guess one.
12:44I didn't get seven.
12:45Is it possible he's confusing ballots with those coupons from Bed Bath & Beyond?
12:50Otherwise, somebody should call the FCC.
12:52There's fake news going out over the public airwaves.
12:55I want to file a report.
12:57I have a complaint to make every day.
13:02It's a new barrel of nuts.
13:05You see what he said about our governor, Gavin Newsom, yesterday?
13:08Gavin Newsom, in his book, he wrote a book, he talks about growing up with dyslexia,
13:12which Trump believes should disqualify him from running for president.
13:16Honestly, I'm all for people with learning disabilities, but not for my president.
13:22I think a president should not have learning disabilities, okay?
13:26And I know it's highly controversial to say such a horrible thing.
13:29The president of the United States, Gavin Newsom, admitted that he has learning disabilities, dyslexia.
13:39Everything about him is dumb.
13:42Anyway, be best, everybody.
13:45This is a man who's posted thousands of misspelled words over the last 14 years.
13:49He thinks mutilization is a word in the English language.
13:54In that clip we just showed, he referred to Gavin Newsom as the president of the United States.
14:01And he's worried about Gavin Newsom's learning disabilities.
14:05Everything about him is dumb?
14:07Oh, this.
14:08But enough about President Aaron Gobrales.
14:11We have a St. Patrick's Day tradition that we like to uphold.
14:14We revisit the greatest local news story of all time every year.
14:19This is the 20th year, the 20th anniversary of this clip, which is from all the way back in 2006,
14:25where Local Channel 15 in Mobile, Alabama filed this incomparable report on a leprechaun sighting.
14:32Curiosity leads to large crowds in Mobile's Crichton community.
14:37Many of you bring binoculars, camcorders, even camera phones to take pictures.
14:42To me, it look like a leprechaun to me. I got to do a little bit of a treat. Who
14:45else in the leprechaun say yes?
14:47Yes!
14:50All opposed? The yes have it.
14:54Eyewitnesses say the leprechaun only comes out at night. If you shine a light in its direction, it suddenly disappears.
15:01This amateur sketch resembles what many of you say the leprechaun looks like.
15:06I would pay any amount of money for that original piece of artwork. I am not joking. If you have
15:13it, I'd like it.
15:14Others find it hard to believe and have come up with their own theories and explanations for the image.
15:20Could be a crackhead that got home to the wrong stuff and told me to get up in a tree
15:26and play a leprechaun.
15:28Well, I think we've all been there. Well, thank you, Mobile. You have given us a never-ending pot of
15:33gold.
15:34And we appreciate it.
15:35Oh, come on! Come on! Are you serious?
15:40What?
15:41Leprechauns are an offensive stereotype. I am so friggin' triggered.
15:47I'm sorry you're triggered. I don't think. I see you're on, what, your second Borg now?
15:51Oh, hell yeah, brother!
15:52Okay. Are you sure that's a good idea?
15:54Two times the fun!
15:58All right, you, okay, maybe it's time to head out, huh?
16:00No, I think that's a very bad idea.
16:02Yeah, I think it's a pretty good idea. Oh, my God.
16:06Oh, my goodness.
16:07Hey, you got an extra pair of pants I could borrow?
16:09I don't know. I'm so sorry.
16:11Oh, . I just realized, I'm late for work. I gotta go. I gotta get out of here.
16:15Okay, you're waiting.
16:16I gotta go. I'm late for work!
16:18Well, just one thing. Where do you, um...
16:22All right. Where do you work, out of curiosity?
16:24I work at LAX, air traffic controller.
16:28Oh, great. Okay.
16:29Come fly the friendly skies, you d**k.
16:31All right.
16:32Look at that.
16:32Fuck out, Ridge Gallon!
16:34Borg, Borg, Borg!
16:36Borg, Borg!
16:38Borg, Borg, Borg!
16:40Borg, Borg, Borg, Borg!
16:42Ah!
16:42Borg, Borg!
16:55And we'll be right back with Kelsey Handler.
16:57She'll stick around.
17:13All right.
17:14Welcome back to the show.
17:16Tonight, he's the lead singer of the Black Crows.
17:18They've just been nominated for the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame
17:21and have a new album.
17:22It's called The Pound of Feathers.
17:24Chris Robinson is with us tonight.
17:26Tomorrow night, we will be joined by Lisa Kubrick-Roll
17:30and Charlie Cox from Daredevil.
17:32And sitting in with the Cletones all this week
17:34from the band Lake Street Dive, Rachel Price is with us.
17:37And sounds fantastic.
17:39Thank you, Rachel.
17:40Our first guest tonight is a hugely successful author
17:43and stand-up comedian who wants to expand your mind
17:47both comically and chemically.
17:49You can see her live on the High and Mighty Tour.
17:51Please welcome Chelsea Handler.
18:10Welcome Chelsea.
18:12How are you?
18:13Oh my God.
18:13How are you?
18:14I'm good, I'm good.
18:15I see based on your outfit that you're not celebrating St. Patrick's Day.
18:18I know.
18:18I mean, I kind of celebrate St. Patrick's Day all year long,
18:21if you know what I mean, you know?
18:23I feel I don't need a special holiday.
18:24I'm happy that the Irish have their holiday,
18:26but I like to drink all the time.
18:29I think they would agree with you on that philosophy.
18:32Yeah, yeah, yeah.
18:33Irish are cool like that.
18:34I love going to Ireland.
18:35I love Irish people, you know?
18:36They're the best.
18:37They are.
18:37They are.
18:38And I'm sorry that they have to deal with Donald Trump.
18:41They do.
18:42He seems to have a special, uh, he seems to eye them a lot.
18:45He is a very, well, he's a knack with people in general, you know?
18:49He has an ease about him with other people that are from different countries.
18:53It's very elegant.
18:56He's a people's person is what he is.
18:58Yeah.
18:58I'm happy to actually see you sitting behind this desk because I don't know if you remember,
19:02but the last time I was booked to do this show, you were taken off the air the day before.
19:07Oh, that's right.
19:08Yes.
19:08You were supposed to be on the next night.
19:09I was the guest, so I had to cancel my Hulu prescription or subscription.
19:14Uh-huh.
19:14Is it a prescription or a subscri...
19:16It's a subscription.
19:17Sorry, I'm getting all those things confused.
19:20And then I had to download it again at the end of the week, so it all worked out great.
19:24So good work, good work.
19:25Well, thank you, and thank you.
19:26I'm sorry about that.
19:28That's okay.
19:29That's all right.
19:29I'm glad you're here now.
19:30Yeah, me too.
19:31You've been all over.
19:32You're out of the country a lot, aren't you?
19:33I like to be out of the country.
19:36More so than in the past?
19:38More so than in the past, yes.
19:39It's a little bit unpleasant.
19:41I mean, I'm touring, so I'm in the country a lot, going to all the cities with all the people.
19:45So when I have time off, I like to go far away places.
19:49Where do you go?
19:50Most recently, I went to...
19:51I went from Jamaica to Finland.
19:54To Istanbul.
19:55That's a lot of people take that route, right?
19:57I know, I know.
19:58It's not like a hop, skip, and a jump.
19:59I didn't see any of the same people along the way.
20:02Jamaica to Finland to Istanbul.
20:04Yes, it was a very strange itinerary.
20:06But the purpose of the Finland trip was to see the Northern Lights, which we were able to do.
20:12I've always wanted to do that.
20:13It's beautiful.
20:15Oh, wow.
20:15Look at that.
20:16Yeah, that was a picture from going snowmobiling at night.
20:19And we saw them on the very first night we went.
20:21And we were only there for three nights.
20:22It was my birthday, too.
20:23So I was very lucky.
20:24Oh, wow.
20:24It all came together.
20:26Is that...
20:27Now, I've heard that sometimes the photos appear to be more brilliant than the real-life experience.
20:33Was it like that?
20:34Well, they move around a lot.
20:36The lights move around a lot.
20:37So it's like being on a drug.
20:38So it's hard to tell.
20:40And I'm always on something, you know.
20:42So it's kind of hard to tell.
20:43So they, like, the colors change.
20:45They go from, like, green to purple to red.
20:47But it's pretty magnificent.
20:48And it was definitely something I wanted to see.
20:50I wanted to ski under the Northern Lights.
20:52But they don't really come out until, like, 9.30.
20:54And the ski resort closes at, like, 7.
20:56So I had to settle for a snowmobile.
20:58But I took it.
20:58Yeah, that's not bad.
20:59Do you carry drugs with you from country to country?
21:03Or do you have people there who meet you with them?
21:05I don't publicly admit to doing that, no.
21:08I, um, I actually am very good at sussing out situations before, during, and while, well,
21:15before and during the trip.
21:17So I put the feelers out to whoever's organizing my trip.
21:20Uh-huh.
21:21And then based on their response, I make some decisions.
21:23I see. I see.
21:24Yeah, yeah.
21:25I see.
21:25If you don't get a good enough response, you...
21:27But usually, I mean, people, the great thing about drugs and the ones I do
21:31is that they're pretty much available everywhere.
21:33You know what I mean?
21:34I mean, obviously, I have the good stuff.
21:36But when I go to other places, they kind of know what's up.
21:39I'm pretty public about it.
21:40There's nothing to be ashamed about.
21:42They help a lot of people, myself included.
21:45What about Istanbul?
21:46Yeah, no, you shouldn't bring drugs to Istanbul.
21:48Okay, yeah, right.
21:49Yeah.
21:50Do they have it there for you?
21:51They definitely have it there, yes.
21:53Oh, they do?
21:53Yeah.
21:54There was a movie, I'm sure that you've seen it, Midnight Express.
21:57Many times, yes.
21:58Have you guys seen Midnight Express?
21:59Yes.
22:01So, I watched that while I was in Istanbul, actually.
22:03Did you really?
22:04So, that was a little too close to home for me.
22:06You know what I mean?
22:07Yeah, that could scare you.
22:08So, yeah.
22:08So, I wouldn't advise bringing drugs or traveling with them ever, people.
22:11That's what I'm saying, and those are my words.
22:16But you had no problems in Istanbul.
22:18No.
22:19And you have no, do you dump them while you're there, or you bring them back into the country?
22:23I don't know what you're implying, but I'm just going to have a good time, and whatever
22:28happens while I'm there happens.
22:31Does anything happen when you get to the border?
22:35Typically, no.
22:36Okay.
22:37I haven't had an incident, but I don't cross borders, typically, with drugs.
22:41Okay.
22:42I usually have something set up, an arrangement.
22:44I see.
22:45Okay.
22:45Yeah.
22:45All right.
22:45Good.
22:46All right.
22:46Like with the government or somebody I can rely on.
22:49This is great advice for young people who are thinking about traveling.
22:52Yes.
22:52First watch Midnight Express, though.
22:54That's a deterrent.
22:55Yeah.
22:55Yeah.
22:56Midnight Express was one of those movies that was, like, one of the, like, five movies
23:00we had on Betamax, that, um, and there's a scene where a guy comes up behind another guy
23:05with a knife, and he just, he just, he stabs him in the ass, like, four times.
23:09Yeah.
23:10We used to watch that, just that scene, over and over and over and over again.
23:13Yeah.
23:14And so I never travel with drugs.
23:15Oh, because you, and why did you continuously watch that scene over and over again?
23:19It was funny.
23:19We thought it was funny.
23:20Oh, okay, okay, okay.
23:21I didn't know if you thought it was erotic.
23:22I'm like, where are you going with this?
23:24Oh, okay.
23:24We were the only ones that found humor in Midnight Express.
23:26Yeah.
23:27Okay, yeah.
23:27Now, when you go to other countries, are the people there, do you, are you, uh, how do
23:33they, what do they think of us?
23:35What is their...
23:35I think they just think white girl.
23:38Okay.
23:39Like, white, blonde, like, they yell Hollywood, and that, they don't know who I am, per se,
23:44but they just think I'm from Hollywood.
23:45And are they, are they mad at you?
23:48No, they were wonderful.
23:49Oh, okay.
23:50They were wonderful.
23:50We didn't have any bad experiences in Istanbul.
23:54Everyone was lovely.
23:55Okay.
23:55I mean, they harass you because they want you to buy rugs and lanterns.
23:59Uh-huh.
24:00And they will walk you, follow you down the street, saying, buy a rug, buy a lantern,
24:04and, like, continue to follow you.
24:06So, you have to be cool with that.
24:08But again, if you're on enough drugs, it just doesn't matter.
24:10Did you buy a rug or a lantern?
24:13We did.
24:14Yes, yes, yes.
24:15There was a rug and a lantern, maybe more than one lantern purchase.
24:19Who did you go with to...
24:20I went with a lover.
24:22Oh, a lover.
24:23Yes.
24:23Do you take a lover to each of the nations that you visit?
24:26Well, this lover, this current lover was, yes, we were together for both,
24:31all three legs of the trip, Jamaica, Finland, and Istanbul.
24:34Oh, okay.
24:35All right.
24:35So, he's my current lover.
24:37Oh, all right.
24:37So, you guys, you've been around together.
24:39Yeah, yeah.
24:40We're, yeah.
24:40I met him, I met him in Antarctica, actually.
24:43What?
24:43Yeah, Antarctica.
24:45So, we're just really seeing the whole world.
24:47That's how I like it.
24:49How did you meet him in Antarctica?
24:51Well, I met him in Vegas.
24:52I was gambling, and I ran out of money, so I had to borrow.
24:55He had a lot of money with him.
24:56And I said, hey, can I borrow a couple thousand dollars?
24:59I'll start winning right now, and I'll pay you back.
25:01And I did.
25:02I started winning.
25:03I paid him back.
25:04And then I, you know, I won my money back.
25:07And then he was texting me the next day, going, you're a vibe.
25:10I'd like to hang out with you again.
25:11And I was like, well, my next trip is Antarctica.
25:14And he's like, I'll see you there.
25:17You know what?
25:18You sound like James Bond.
25:21You're meeting people.
25:23You're gambling.
25:24You're guaranteeing you're going to win.
25:25You're jetting off from nation to nation to nation.
25:28I think the State Department needs to keep an eye on you.
25:31Listen, I don't want any trouble with this State Department,
25:34OK?
25:35No, thank you.
25:36Chelsea Handler is here.
25:53We are back with Chelsea Handler, who is on the High and Mighty Tour.
26:00Are you high on the tour or just mighty?
26:03I mean, it's whatever night you catch me.
26:05But a lot of people do bring drugs to the tour.
26:07And I don't discourage that.
26:08Tell me about the comic you travel with.
26:11Because I find her very funny.
26:13Oh.
26:14This is Yamanika Saunders.
26:15I've been following her on Instagram.
26:17I saw some videos she did.
26:18OK.
26:19Yamanika opens for me quite often on the road.
26:21And part of this tour is trying to find her a boyfriend
26:24and some penetration.
26:27So if you're watching this show and you're coming
26:29to one of my shows, we need a strong man, OK,
26:33that can handle a lot of women.
26:35She is a lot of women.
26:36And she requires a lot of attention.
26:39But I think she'll deliver.
26:41And how would people identify themselves at a show
26:44as a candidate for...
26:46When I go out on stage, I say,
26:47are there any volunteers?
26:48Oh, you do?
26:49Yeah, yeah, yeah.
26:49And you can just raise your hand.
26:51And then I'll interview you in the audience.
26:53You evaluate them for her.
26:54And if they're a good candidate,
26:56yeah, obviously, I want to be protective of her.
26:57So there'll be security.
26:58But definitely, if you are interested,
27:01please don't be shy.
27:03Is she in favor of you doing this?
27:06She's about to find out about it, I guess.
27:10I saw in the news today that you still
27:13have a house here in LA.
27:15I do, I do.
27:16You bought it from...
27:18RFK Jr.
27:19I didn't know I was buying it.
27:20I know.
27:20That is laughable.
27:21You can laugh at me.
27:23I didn't know I was buying it from RFK Jr.
27:25because it was a blind trust.
27:27And the house feels like I bought it from RFK Jr.
27:31Yeah, so far I have.
27:32It took me four years to move in.
27:34So there was a lot of problems with the house.
27:36I blame him.
27:39And that they didn't get caught during inspection.
27:42And a lot of drama with the house.
27:43But I just did move in for the first time yesterday.
27:46So I'm good.
27:47I mean, I have chlamydia, herpes, and what else does he have?
27:50Measles.
27:51Oh, measles.
27:52I have chlamydia, measles, and herpes.
27:54But no, it's OK now.
27:55But yes, I would advise anybody to never buy a house from...
27:59Actually, I have to stay away from the Kennedys in general.
28:01Oh, is that right?
28:02Why?
28:03Because every time I'm involved with a Kennedy...
28:05What has happened with the Kennedys?
28:07Something happens.
28:08Always something.
28:09I was once sailing with them.
28:11You were?
28:11Yes.
28:12And I went skiing with them once.
28:13And that was a disaster.
28:15What happened?
28:16They dragged me down a double black diamond.
28:18And I had to climb back up.
28:19I wasn't ready.
28:20I wasn't the skier I was today.
28:21I am today.
28:22I'm a great skier now.
28:23But then I was on a sailboat with Ethel.
28:26And my dress blew up.
28:27And it was awful.
28:28Come on, did this really happen?
28:29This is a true story.
28:30It's all true.
28:31It's all verifiable.
28:33I'm not a liar.
28:33I don't have to lie.
28:34Did the house...
28:35Did Robert Kennedy's house have, like, a lot of pull-up bars and, like, a closet with
28:40no shirts and lots of Levi's or...?
28:43Uh, no.
28:44I mean, you should...
28:45They sent me a note after I moved in.
28:47Cheryl Hines sent me a note saying, thank you.
28:49We're so excited you bought our house.
28:51Uh-huh.
28:51Let us know if there's anything we can do.
28:53And I was like, oh, no!
28:55I was like, I bought RFK Jr.
28:58It's like the one person in the world that I would flag whose house not to buy.
29:02They've done enough, it seems like.
29:04They have.
29:04We've done enough.
29:04All those losers.
29:06How many cities will you be visiting during this tour, do you know?
29:09Oh, I'm going to all over the country.
29:11Probably 30.
29:12I'm about to announce new dates.
29:13I'm going to Springfield, Massachusetts, I think is up next.
29:17I think I have some of the dates.
29:18Yeah.
29:19Springfield, Massachusetts is March 29th.
29:21Oh, thank you.
29:22Uh, Ronard Park, California is on April 3rd.
29:25And then right here in Los Angeles on May 6th.
29:28For Netflix and the Joke.
29:30Is that part of the Netflix special?
29:30Yes, yes.
29:31I'll see you then.
29:32Well, that's great.
29:33And it's great to have you here.
29:34Always.
29:35I hope things go better with the house.
29:37Well, let's, yeah.
29:37If anyone knows anybody who blesses homes, please contact me also.
29:41Yeah, we'll get you a priest.
29:42A cleanse, a blessing.
29:44I'll take a priest at this point.
29:45I will.
29:45Yeah, okay.
29:46All right.
29:46Yes, yes.
29:46Chelsea's looking for a priest.
29:48Check.
29:48You can get tickets for the tour at ChelseaHandler.com.
29:51Chelsea Handler, everybody.
29:53We'll be back with Chris Robinson.
30:00Anyone who ever loved me would look at me and know...
30:05This week on Jimmy Kimmel Live, Lisa Kudrow, Charlie Cox, Sarah Shahi, and Robert Pattinson.
30:14Plus music from Tedeschi Trucks Band.
30:23All right.
30:25That's it.
30:27All right.
30:27You're tuning in with the Clintons.
30:28Our next guest is the Grammy and Rock and Roll Hall of Fame nominated musician you know
30:34from the Black Crows.
30:35This is their new album right here.
30:36It's called The Pound of Feathers.
30:38Please welcome Chris Robinson.
30:54Very good to have you here.
30:55Thanks for coming.
30:56I'm glad to be here.
30:57Yes.
30:58I want to ask about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.
31:00Yes.
31:00Because Black Crows nominated last year, nominated again this year.
31:04It seems inevitable to me.
31:07Okay.
31:08All right.
31:09But I am an avid listener of The Howard Stern Show and I distinctly remember you saying,
31:16and I have the quote right here, back in 2017, I'm not going.
31:20Okay.
31:21If inducted.
31:21Jerry Garcia didn't go.
31:23I'm not going.
31:24Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to me is like going to the mall or something.
31:29All right.
31:30I have a much more positive outlook these days.
31:33You do.
31:34Now do you realize, I don't know if you've thought about this, but the Rock and Roll Hall
31:38of Fame ceremony actually does take place in the mall right across the street.
31:43I know.
31:43Incredible.
31:44Right in front of the pretzel place.
31:46Yeah.
31:47Yeah.
31:47Wetzel's Pretzels is right there.
31:50If you want to get big names, you need pretzels.
31:52You need pretzels.
31:52You get free samples and it's fine.
31:54So you're past that.
31:56You're past that.
31:57You know what?
31:57It's so funny.
31:58Well, it's not funny actually.
32:00But yeah, that time in my life where I was so, I was very negative about the whole thing
32:04and maybe, I don't know.
32:06That was a while ago.
32:08But things definitely changed.
32:09I mean, I wasn't in the Black Crows at that time.
32:11I made that.
32:12I see.
32:13Salacious comment.
32:14I see.
32:15But it is true.
32:16You know, the Black Crows, we were kind of more famous, my brother and I, for hating
32:21each other than like the songs and the music.
32:24Yeah.
32:25You wrote in fact.
32:26It worked for Oasis.
32:26I don't know why it didn't work for us.
32:29But since then, I mean, we've had a real, since 2019, it's not been that way.
32:36It's been the most fulfilling and gratifying.
32:40And when you work with your family, it's multi-layered.
32:43We're brothers.
32:44We're family.
32:45We're creative partners.
32:46We have a business to run.
32:48And it's been fantastic.
32:49It's hard when there's two people, too, because there's no tiebreaker there to ease the tension.
32:56I mean, I'm a Sagittarian and a lead singer, so did I need a tiebreaker?
32:59You know what I mean?
33:00I mean, that's what got you into trouble with your brother, right?
33:02Completely, completely.
33:03Did you look back on arguments and go, that's the dumbest thing we fought about.
33:07Why would we have thought about that?
33:09You know, it's funny.
33:10We've, oh, my God, we had so many stupid fights.
33:13But we were playing Red Rocks outside of Denver.
33:16This was a while ago.
33:18And we started arguing about something.
33:21And it went from just a disagreement to, and there's an English folk band called Fairport Convention.
33:26It doesn't matter.
33:27But I had just bought a Fairport Convention live on the BBC box set on CD.
33:34And it went from whatever to throwing fists at each other.
33:39And then it escalated more because I was like, it broke the box set.
33:45You know what I mean?
33:45The CDs were flying everywhere.
33:47And I was out of control with rage.
33:52But we were so funny.
33:54We could go from bloodied, ripped things to being on stage like, all right.
33:59You know what I mean?
34:00Like, we're happy to be here.
34:02It would be such a weird thing.
34:03You keep it together in front of the kids in a way, right?
34:07Yes, of course.
34:07One of the songs on the new album is called Profane Prophecy.
34:11And you wrote, one of the lines is,
34:13My pedigree and debauchery is my claim to fame.
34:16That's kind of what you were talking about, right?
34:19I've had my moments.
34:20Uh-huh.
34:20And another line is, I eat casino breakfast off the kitchen floor.
34:25Is that biographical as well?
34:28You know, I really just wanted, I wanted it to sound nasty.
34:35So eating casino breakfast off the kitchen floor could be a number of things.
34:41And, I mean, in all, you know, I liked, I do as a lyricist, I like for it to be
34:49in your imagination of whatever bizarre.
34:53I'm thinking of a lyric.
34:53It's more like Hunter S. Thompson or something.
34:55You know what I mean?
34:55Yeah.
34:56It's like something, whatever it is, it shouldn't be happening.
34:59I see.
34:59Okay.
34:59All right.
35:00Do you ever forget it?
35:01But it could have happened.
35:03Do you ever forget your lyrics when you're on stage?
35:05I, you know, I don't want to, it's not a contest with Chelsea Handler, but yes, I did a lot
35:11of drugs.
35:12Uh-huh.
35:14And that doesn't help.
35:15But the best part for me, especially when doing a lot of psychedelic drugs and going on stage, I usually
35:21came up with something better than the original lyric.
35:24And then do you remember the something better that you came up with?
35:27Never.
35:27No, no.
35:27Okay.
35:28Not once.
35:30I do want to ask about your resume.
35:32I'm not sure if you're even aware of this.
35:34This is from IMDB.
35:35This is, IMDB is a website that lists everybody's credits.
35:39Right.
35:39And there you are on IMDB.
35:41That's you, correct?
35:42That, yeah.
35:43I can say that.
35:44These photographs, you would agree, are you?
35:46I'm, yes.
35:47Is this a deposition?
35:48It's close.
35:49Let's look at your credits here.
35:52Um, your credits.
35:53A Runaway Bride for Christmas, Music Supervisor.
35:56Christmas at Mistletoe Hall, Music Supervisor.
35:58Rodeo Christmas Romance.
36:00Christmas in the Ballroom.
36:01A bunch of other rom-coms.
36:03I love, I love romance and the holidays.
36:08I guess so.
36:11This, this is a mistake, right?
36:13One of, but I think the song from the movie, that's not a candy cane.
36:21There is another Chris Robinson out there.
36:24There is another Chris Robinson who is, used to direct some films and a lot of like, R&B
36:30and rap videos.
36:32Oh.
36:33So he's a Chris Robinson and I used to, and at events and stuff over the years, I ran into
36:38him and, and you know, so I'm the white Chris Robinson, he's the black Chris Robinson, but
36:43we ran into each other one time and he was like, wow, it's really you.
36:47You know, it's really you too.
36:49The bane of his existence.
36:51He's like, you know, people think that I score all these crappy romance holiday movies.
36:57I'm sorry.
36:58I'm sorry.
36:59You are going to do a song.
37:02You've done Otis Redding.
37:03You've covered Otis Redding before.
37:05You're going to do an Otis Redding song.
37:06Yeah.
37:06I mean, we, you know, we're being from Atlanta originally, R&B music, soul music, funk music,
37:13it's a big part of the rock and roll we make.
37:15And being from Georgia, there was just a, obviously there was a, well, Otis Redding is
37:21my favorite soul singer.
37:22He's unbelievable.
37:23And he was, correct me if I have this wrong, he was like 25 years old when he died, right?
37:30Yeah.
37:30Tragic.
37:31So many great songs.
37:32And you know, it was amazing.
37:33Two years ago, Zelda, his widow, is still in Macon at the big old ranch.
37:37We were invited over to the ranch.
37:39We had a show in Macon, Georgia, which was Otis' hometown.
37:43Someone from Macon, Georgia.
37:45H&H restaurant.
37:47And it was, his family are fantastic.
37:51Zelda was so cool.
37:53And we got to go and we went into the great man's like studio, like his office or whatever.
38:02And just to be in the presence of his family and his aura was spectacular.
38:07One of the best days.
38:08Well, you are keeping his memory alive.
38:11That song is not on this album, but this album is called A Pound of Feathers.
38:15It's out now.
38:16The Black Crowes tour kicks off next month.
38:18And you're going to do some music with us?
38:20We're going to do some Otis Redding.
38:21From Otis Redding with Chris Robinson.
38:30Thanks to Chelsea Handler.
38:32Apologies to Matt Damon.
38:33Nightline is next.
38:34But first, her new album is called A Pound of Feathers.
38:38This song is in Otis Redding closet with help from Rachel Bright and the Kletos, Chris Robinson.
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