- 6 hours ago
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00:14DIMITRI ARENOV
00:14Here's all you need to know
00:18That's missing Cain's wife. We have her. You had a mole within Citadel
00:23It was you. If I see you again, I will kill you.
00:26Russian president Dmitri Aronov is set to attend the G8 summit next week.
00:32I need my assassin in ten days
00:35We lost the one man who could build what we need. There's someone else who could fix this software
00:40Korean hacker. If we have any chance of stopping Paulo Braga, we cannot do it alone.
00:46Bernard's still alive.
00:49Isn't that your friend?
00:50It is
00:53We gotta go
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18:10Plus, I don't really have a good memory for faces, nor names.
18:13What is he good at?
18:15Who was he with? Was he with Korean NIS?
18:18No, he was handled by the CIA.
18:21How do you know it was the CIA, you crumpet-eating motherfucker?
18:24Because CIA always tell you they're CIA,
18:27because it adds a tiny centimeter to their tiny penises.
18:34Why is that funny?
18:35I never say I'm CIA.
18:37At least twice a day.
18:39Oh, there's mold on that cheese.
18:42Yeah, it's well-aged. Mold is decadence.
18:47You remind me of someone.
18:48A handsome former lover?
18:50No, my uncle, Frédéric.
18:53He was very sad and poor, and he died alone.
18:58Okay, must I listen to this?
18:59So, if Edison was handled by the CIA, they would know his true identity,
19:03they would know his whereabouts, and that intel would be stored
19:06at CIA European headquarters in Rome.
19:09Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Bernard.
19:09That's where it is.
19:10We can't talk about the library.
19:11What?
19:12We don't know this guy.
19:13I can't hear you.
19:14What are you saying?
19:15You want to break in there?
19:16Yeah.
19:17That information is in an air-gap server in an ultra-secure room.
19:20I literally can't hear you.
19:21On a floor that you have to have top-level security clearance just to get onto.
19:25It's never gonna happen.
19:26We can't just walk in there.
19:27There's only one person in the entire agency who operates that database.
19:31Hutch.
19:31It's not gonna happen.
19:32This is the fucking CIA we're talking about.
19:34They're absolute morons.
19:36We can do this blindfolded.
19:39We can do this.
19:41No, you said we.
19:42Yeah.
19:42That made me nervous.
19:44I assume you mean you three.
19:47Because it'd be very strange to include me in any kind of we,
19:50seeing as I'm me, seeing as I don't know you,
19:53seeing as I've never met any of you.
19:55So why would I want to be part of your we?
20:00Why are you staring at me?
20:01You're broke.
20:02And I'm hiring.
20:04There's no need to overcomplicate this.
20:08I understand that you're a master in the art of accruing compromising information.
20:12Well then, you must have been misinformed.
20:18Well, I may have some knowledge of the debauched.
20:20I need dirt on people.
20:21I need fetishes.
20:23I need addictions.
20:24I need predilections.
20:25Well, if you double that, I'll make it fucking disgusting.
20:27How's that?
20:30Cheers.
20:31Cheers.
20:32Put the gun away.
20:41The bank foreclosed on this place three weeks ago.
20:44I'm just waiting for them to kick me out.
20:48Now, you wouldn't be a chap and take these bags from me, would you?
20:5436 years in the service.
20:56No nobility.
20:57What?
20:58What I said was there's no nobility.
21:02Well, it's not just about nobility.
21:06You know that.
21:08Someday, very soon, they're going to realize they can't have former spies running around with institutional knowledge.
21:17And they're going to come for you.
21:19And it won't be for Fusili.
21:21All right.
21:27It's all right.
21:27I'll load my bags.
21:29Fucking cheek.
21:34Oh, you're fucking kidding.
21:37Fuck.
21:40Can we really trust Olic?
21:44I don't know.
21:46And the pretty ones?
21:48I don't like their energy.
21:51I don't know if they want to kill each other or to kiss each other.
21:54Yeah.
21:55So fucking annoying.
21:57Dicey.
21:58Very dicey.
21:59Super dice.
22:01So if we have to, we, you know, if the time comes, we have.
22:09Unfake, untabby, dude.
22:11Like after numero uno.
22:12And numero uno.
22:13Numero uno was, that mean, yeah.
22:15That means me and you is numero uno.
22:18It's the royal uno.
22:20I'm breaking your chops.
22:22You're breaking my balls.
22:24You're busting my chops.
22:25Oh, shut up.
22:26Okay.
22:35Celine Ward.
22:37Agents Benjamin Cash and Charles Bantam.
22:39Pleased to meet you.
22:40You're being assigned a new level of responsibility at the agency.
22:43You're going to be nuts deep in it, so buckle up, Bobcat.
22:46It's not a Bobcat.
22:47Go to the slides.
22:48Trigger warning, Gen Z.
22:49I'm a millennial.
22:51Mm-hmm.
22:51You know where this is?
22:53No idea.
22:54Dar al-Moxon.
22:55Legislative building.
22:56Morocco.
22:57Simas Palace.
22:59Lithuania.
23:00The Children's Museum.
23:02Oslo.
23:02Goddamn butterfly exhibit.
23:04Is this the work of a terrorist?
23:06This is the work of your new partner.
23:09James Hutch.
23:10Oh, he's an A-plus agent.
23:12Oh, and he is an A-plus asshole.
23:14He is a maniac.
23:14A menace.
23:15He is the best damn reaper we've ever unleashed on the POS's of the world.
23:19He's very effective, very hard to reign in.
23:21That's where you come in.
23:22Did you what?
23:23We think you'll be a good yin to his yang.
23:25You know, help focus and keep him in line.
23:27He does not like orders.
23:28So I help him stay on mission?
23:30You bet your sweet ass you do.
23:32And out of the Hague.
23:33And us out of the Hague.
23:34But you answer to us.
23:35Both of us.
23:35Not him.
23:36No fucking way.
23:37And in the event?
23:38The very likely event.
23:39Then he goes off the reservation.
23:40We're talking full Bonnie and Clyde.
23:42You have to promise us that you'll extinguish him.
23:45Take him out.
23:46You'll do as we ask.
23:47Without hesitation.
23:48Would that be our problem, Ms. Rohrer?
23:50Great fucking flow.
24:08The movies always portray them as Mr. and Mrs. Smith types.
24:12Yet my experience of the CIA is, uh, well, they're just a box of dickheads.
24:17Case in point.
24:19You're cute when you're trying to be funny.
24:21But you wipe away the mystique and what are you left with?
24:24A sloppy slut with a huge bank account.
24:26Oh, it's not a job when you love what you do.
24:29That's good.
24:30And lucky for us, in front of you all is a mark.
24:33It is human error.
24:34But we plan to make them work for us.
25:15Have a lovely day.
25:18Pleasure as always.
25:23She's in.
25:24Okay.
25:24Good.
25:25She's really very good.
25:26If ever you're on the market for a Ukrainian sex worker, I highly recommend.
25:30I've just used her for something else.
25:32Oh.
25:33Was that somebody else paying her to have sex with you?
25:35How dare you, Bernard?
25:37What's your going rate?
25:38Reasonable.
25:39There you go.
25:39Come on.
25:44Let's go.
25:50Okay.
25:53Good boy.
25:55Good boy.
25:56Good boy.
26:03Good boy.
26:05Good boy.
26:07I love you.
26:11Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
26:21Yeah, I know how to walk.
26:23Just keep moving, you limey bastard.
26:42Can I help you?
26:43Uh, we're already being helped.
26:46You're gonna want to use her as a shield.
26:49It'll just be a second.
26:50In five, four, three, two, one.
27:00Alright, relax.
27:02We come with a peace offering, Nadia Singh and Frank Sharp.
27:05Francis.
27:09I'm not AWOL, it's a side mission.
27:11Tell Bantam and Cash to get out here.
27:14We're gonna make a deal.
27:15You don't get to make the man's, Hutch.
27:16We want back in.
27:18Let me see the heads!
27:22We're gonna go on the ground!
27:24She has a gun!
27:28I've also got a gun!
27:30We've all got guns, but we're not gonna use them.
27:32Get on the ground!
27:33Stop it!
27:33Right now!
27:34I'm a blue!
27:36I'm a blue!
27:37I'm a blue!
27:38Shut the fuck down!
27:39Hey!
27:40Stop!
27:40They're not here to make a deal with you.
27:42They're here to steal intel.
27:43What are you doing?
27:45I will shoot your pasty ass face.
27:46Shut the fuck up!
27:47I'm a sword!
27:48Now!
27:48He's fucking you!
27:50Badly!
27:50You're a lion sack of shit!
27:52I am telling the truth!
27:53You listen!
27:53Stop!
27:54You're a weapon!
27:54I have a daughter, okay?
27:55No!
27:56I have a daughter and I need to get her out.
27:58And I will make you a trade.
28:00Mason Kane and Bernard Orlick.
28:03You don't think Langley will kill for them?
28:05All you have to do is disappear me and my daughter.
28:10Give me Bantam and Cash.
28:15Bantam and Cash.
28:17Last time I saw you, Bantam, you'd had too many animals.
28:20You were freaking out in the corner.
28:21Remember that?
28:22You're so fucking juvenile.
28:23Yeah, have you come all the way to this shithole to get a promotion, huh?
28:26Don't kick you, wise ass.
28:27To what do we owe this visit, Hutch?
28:29You've been dark for five months.
28:30Ever since your little blow up about Braga.
28:32And you haven't checked in with your security supervisor.
28:34Or your logistics officer.
28:36The question is...
28:38Where the fuck have you been?
28:40Going against our orders and trying to kill Braga?
28:42Guys, guys, guys.
28:43Don't give yourselves a hernia.
28:44You really think I'm that stupid?
28:47I've been on what you might call a little self-directed mission.
28:50Okay.
28:51And here I am.
28:52With Nadia Singh and Frank Sharp in hand.
28:54All wrapped up for you.
28:55You're welcome.
28:56First off, nobody knows your boy Sharp.
28:58He's a wet fish.
28:59Nobody.
29:00Analysts have to look him up.
29:01They still couldn't find anything.
29:02That's how good he is.
29:03Oh, really?
29:05MI6, Mossad, Manacor.
29:07The guy knows the internal workings of countless intelligence agencies,
29:11but I'm sure you're gonna waterboard that out of him.
29:14I don't know what you've been told, but, um...
29:16Uh, so I was at the Dean Street Casino at the roulette wheel.
29:22I was up and sat next to the most beautiful lady who said her name was Camilla and she worked
29:28for the government.
29:28I'm here and I'm psyched to get back to work.
29:32So what have you got for me?
29:33Yeah, well, you see, the thing is, Hutch, right now you're an enemy of the state.
29:36A turncoat.
29:38As far as Langley's concerned, you're a double agent working with the bad guys.
29:41What?
29:41And Nadia Singh is corroborating that.
29:47Bold move coming in.
29:49I'd say you were double crossing if there was still an agency for you to cross.
29:52Now tell me, how'd you get in with Hutch and Roar?
29:54That is a really long, boring part of the story and we're running out of time.
29:58I really need you to believe I'm telling you the truth.
30:00How do I know that?
30:01You don't.
30:02But I will give you Mason Cain and Bernard Orling.
30:05In exchange for?
30:06You disappear me and my daughter.
30:08For good.
30:10Make the fucking deal or I'll shock him to the Chinese.
30:13You remind me of someone.
30:15You remind me of my uncle.
30:17He's, uh, boring.
30:20Nobody wanted to have sex with him.
30:22So he had to see prostitutes.
30:24Um, I took some Viagra that night, so there was a bit of spring in my stand, so to speak.
30:30Pronto sono Catherine?
30:31Signore Dalani, sono Leon Brezzi del San Vicente.
30:34Che è successo?
30:36Tutto bene, ma Felix ha avuto un piccolo incidente al parco gioco.
30:41Oddio.
30:42Pensiamo che il suo braccio sia rotto.
30:45Lo stiamo portando al pronto soccorso del San Giovanni.
30:48Vengo subito, guardi, arrivo appena posso.
30:51Grazie mille, signora.
31:00Let's get to the truth, ok?
31:02Yeah, not fucking around.
31:03Ok.
31:05Can I get a coffee first?
31:07You give me the truth or I will literally shit in you.
31:12Get him a fucking coffee.
31:40Get him a fucking coffee.
31:41All in my fucking eyes out.
31:43Now, you might be thinking, Maggie Smith, Judi Dench, it's gonna be emotional.
31:48This wasn't that.
31:49This wasn't that.
31:49I was a fucking wreck.
31:50I didn't stop crying for three days.
31:54Oh, is that for me?
31:58Langley tracked you from Syria to Dallas and then lost all trace of you.
32:01You dumped all your devices in the bathroom of an airport Sbarro's.
32:04Well, after my break down, I needed a little me time.
32:07Where was that?
32:10Uh, Belize, naturally.
32:13So, I ended up in a spiritual retreat center for a month of amplified self-reflection.
32:18Not my usual cup of chowder, you might say.
32:21But I was desperate and needed answers.
32:24I was willing to try anything.
32:26Yoga, veganism, ayahuasca.
32:28I even read a fucking book.
32:31Have you ever tried reading a book, Cash?
32:33One night, I'm laying there in a sound bath, free base of my own subconscious.
32:38And all of a sudden, I hear this voice that says,
32:42The answer lies at sunset.
32:51And it was just like the universal consciousness came down and popped a finger right up my butthole.
32:57Did you also get sin and sharp out of your finger-blasted asshole?
33:00I, uh, I spotted them on the streets of Belize.
33:05Believe it or not, uh, yeah.
33:07While I was walking around, drinking a beer.
33:09And, uh, my instinct kicked in.
33:11Knew I had to bag him and tag him.
33:13Knock Sing out with the beer bottle.
33:15God, lady, I'm giving this to you on a silver platter and you're fucking it up.
33:18We've run out of time, just accept the fucking deal.
33:21And as I'm folding up Sharp's clothes, with him still in them, by the way,
33:25I see the light starting to fade from his eyes.
33:30Okay, so do I just get what I need?
33:36And it dawned on me.
33:39This is my sunset.
33:41And for the first time since I saw Judi Dench in that Marigold Hotel.
33:45I say, you don't have any earplugs, do you?
33:47I found my smile again.
33:49And I knew that this is what I've been put on God's green earth to do.
34:02That's quite a story.
34:04I've got chills.
34:05Phantom forgot to mention though, you were also spotted by agents in France.
34:10Never in Belize though.
34:11So we know with absolute 1000% certainty that what you just told us is 100% first class grade
34:18A bullshit.
34:19Alright guys, you got me.
34:21Yeah.
34:22Well look, I need help. I'm in way too deep.
34:25That's why I came here.
34:27We're renditioning your ass back to the stage.
34:30The stage is up.
34:30Focus.
34:32Oh God!
34:36You are in no position to make any kind of demands, do you understand that?
34:39I am though.
34:40I am in that position.
34:41Ow!
34:42Ow!
34:43Ow!
34:45How much more?
34:46Ten more seconds.
34:49Otherwise we cook them.
34:51Well, I guess I'm just going to finish my coffee and get out of here.
34:563, 4, 5, 8, 8, 8, 1, 2, 3, 5, 5, 6, 3, 2, 5, 8, 8, 8, 8, 1,
35:032, 5, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 9, 10.
35:16Later, homies.
35:23How bad is it?
35:25Like, 200,000?
35:30400K.
35:31Oh, shh.
35:34I'm sure the people you owe the money to are not very nice.
35:39I'm sure they're very mean.
35:40They are.
35:42Very mean.
35:43And what if I told you I could give you your money?
35:47What?
35:48But I just need one thing from you.
35:51And what's that?
35:53Oh, just a cup of coffee.
35:56Get him a fucking coffee.
35:58You heard the name.
36:05I literally couldn't stop crying for three days.
36:08Oh, is that for me?
36:10Thanks.
36:18Go, Luke!
36:19Go, Luke!
36:21Go, Luke!
36:22Yeah.
36:28Should have just taken the deal.
36:31Foxy took my ID.
36:33Open the door, Tony.
36:46You good?
36:47Yeah, fine.
36:49What was all that?
36:50Turning everybody in, we're up to something shit.
36:52That's not what we talked about.
36:54Well, it was a shit show.
36:55No one believed you.
36:56I had to improvise.
36:59You fucked us.
37:04That's a one-strength rule in my book.
37:10Jesus, Totson.
37:16Suspect's shot.
37:18We need medical.
37:19Archers in the U-swing.
37:20He's headed towards the library.
37:24Nobody let him leave this building.
37:28Hot!
37:30Oh, hot!
37:38We'll see you party.
37:39Bye.
37:44Bye.
37:48Bye.
37:50Bye.
37:53Bye.
37:55Bye.
37:58Bye.
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