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The Last Leg - Season 34 - Episode 04
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00:02Wow!
00:03I play the game on the floor.
00:04Thank you for letting us be ourselves.
00:06So don't mind if I repeat myself,
00:09These simple lines be good for your health.
00:11Keep them trying rhymes on the shelf,
00:13Live my life like you just don't care.
00:16Right because I believe it's never scared.
00:18Raise the noises the moment they fear.
00:20Get up, you should a beer from my dear.
00:23Get up, throw your hands in the air.
00:25Get up!
00:38Check out the news, take a deep breath and try not to break a sweat.
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg.
00:47Tonight on the show, we'll check out what happened when Andrew got seized.
00:52Find out whether social media is going to get yanked.
00:54And see who nudged what at the Winter Olympics.
00:58Plus, we'll be joined by comedians Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz on the show that always pushes its luck.
01:19Oh, g'day. Hello. Oh.
01:26Save it, there's a lot coming.
01:28G'day, I'm Adam Hills. Welcome to The Last Leg, the show that's really glad we don't pre-record earlier in
01:33the week.
01:36With me as always, with the pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe, and the man who genuinely said on Wednesday, and
01:41I quote,
01:42I still reckon this Andrew thing's going to escalate.
01:48Alex Crystal Ball Brooker.
01:54Oh!
01:59Crystal Ball Brooker sounds like another of my disabilities, doesn't it?
02:06It's very delicate.
02:08We will cover the biggest news of the year in a second, but before we get this...
02:12To be fair, it's February.
02:16I mean, I can't imagine it getting any bigger than what happened yesterday,
02:19but, Josh, you have had a big week of your own, right?
02:22Yes.
02:22Oh, yes, I've been up to quite a lot.
02:25I framed a man for a crime he didn't commit, actually.
02:32I set up an email address, andypandy at gmail.com,
02:36sent a few emails to Jeffrey Epstein,
02:38and, I tell you what, it snowballed all right.
02:40No, I didn't.
02:43No, I went skiing.
02:44I went on a skiing holiday for the first time, Adam.
02:47Yes.
02:48Yes.
02:48And...
02:49I was...
02:50I'd never skied before.
02:52I'm 42.
02:53I'm shocked to hear you've never skied before.
02:56And I was excellent.
03:00Would you like to see video proof of this?
03:03Yes.
03:03All right.
03:08That sounded like you just...
03:10Someone reacted to you saying you were going to strip.
03:12Oh, yes.
03:12Yes.
03:13I'll see a little bit of that.
03:14My instructor's in.
03:17So my daughter, who's eight, is in the kind of pink trousers,
03:21and then in between us is the instructor,
03:24and then I'm the one, the third one coming down.
03:26So you'll see the kind of speed I'm cutting down the slopes.
03:29Okay.
03:33So here I go, as you can see.
03:36Absolutely nailing it.
03:38Look at that!
03:39Look at that speed!
03:43Look at me go!
03:45Look, wait for it!
03:47Yes!
03:58I love the fact that the instructor's gone,
04:01do you know what?
04:01I'm just going to let the eight-year-old go on their own
04:03and look after this little guy.
04:06I had a feeling it wasn't going to be great
04:07when you described your daughter as wearing trousers.
04:12That genuinely is the worst thing to happen to winter sports
04:14since Tonya Harding.
04:16And much like Tonya Harding,
04:18the people next to you have got gammy legs.
04:22I, uh, genuinely,
04:23obviously they've played that at ten times slower than it should have.
04:26It was tough.
04:28It's tough skiing.
04:29Really?
04:30Have you ever put ski boots on?
04:31You can bet...
04:32Well, it's wrong two people to ask that, actually.
04:34I thought I was so...
04:36What is what you were about to say about the ski boots?
04:38Do you know what?
04:38It's tough to move your foot.
04:42You should try driving in one.
04:46But it wasn't only your feet that struggled at the altitude, right?
04:50I...
04:50So the altitude, the atmosphere, changed my hair.
04:53Mm-hm.
04:54Genuinely, I just...
04:56I looked in the mirror, like, in an afternoon,
04:58I had this haircut, which I've never had...
05:03The irony is, it looks like a ski slope.
05:07LAUGHTER
05:08You know...
05:09You know, you know...
05:10I look like one of those Tories that's just moved to reform.
05:13LAUGHTER
05:14You know, like, in the films, when Shrek becomes human for a little bit?
05:18LAUGHTER
05:22We were trying to work out who you look like.
05:23My first thought was this guy from the Winter Olympics.
05:26LAUGHTER
05:28I think this is the perfect look-alike.
05:33LAUGHTER
05:37APPLAUSE
05:42So that's our poll tonight.
05:44Who do you think Josh looks like in that photo?
05:46What?
05:47Messages on Instagram with the hashtag Joshalike
05:50or on WhatsApp using the number 07956175908
05:53or you can scan the QR code on the screen.
05:56You can also ask us any questions about the news
05:58using the hashtag IsItOK?
06:00Look, let's not muck about, let's jump straight into the big story.
06:03Yes.
06:04Emma said,
06:04Is it OK that Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has finally been arrested?
06:09Now, at 9.55am yesterday,
06:12the big story for this week's show was going to be
06:15the upcoming by-election in Gorton and Denton.
06:18LAUGHTER
06:22That's the sound of a relieved crowd.
06:25LAUGHTER
06:28You should have heard the relieved co-hosts.
06:31LAUGHTER
06:31At 10am yesterday, it was announced
06:33that the Andrew, formerly known as Prince,
06:35had been arrested at his Sandringham estate
06:37for misconduct in public office.
06:38By 10.05, Gorton and Denton
06:40started to sound like Andrew's new cellmates.
06:43LAUGHTER
06:45Lads, is this the ultimate case of fuck around and find out?
06:50Well...
06:50Sorry, I...
06:51I've never heard you say that phrase before, right?
06:56Well, I mean...
06:57Guys, is this a case of chat shit get banged, right?
07:01LAUGHTER
07:03Let me throw it out there, right?
07:05This is Netflix and chill.
07:08I've run out of them.
07:10LAUGHTER
07:10LAUGHTER
07:11Um...
07:12Well, yeah, I mean, it must have been weird
07:13for him to see handcuffs that weren't fluffy.
07:16LAUGHTER
07:18But I genuinely...
07:19When somebody said to me,
07:22Andrew's been arrested.
07:23Yeah.
07:23And they'd have asked me, what for?
07:26Misconduct in the public office
07:27wouldn't have been in my first 100 years.
07:29LAUGHTER
07:29I bet you, even when they told him,
07:32he was like, what, nothing else?
07:34LAUGHTER
07:36If someone said to me, what is misconduct in the public office,
07:39I'd go, has he photocopied his arse?
07:44LAUGHTER
07:44Let's not rule it out, let's not rule it out.
07:47He's ate someone's lunch in the fridge.
07:49LAUGHTER
07:49Police attended Andrew's estate at 8am yesterday
07:52in what we're calling, it's a royal knock at the door.
07:55LAUGHTER
07:55Apparently you're up to 15 police in attendance.
07:58In one car.
08:00LAUGHTER
08:00It's like clowns.
08:02I bet you, before they went and done the arrest,
08:05they were all sat there just going to each other,
08:07tell you what,
08:07I wonder who's going to play me in The Crown.
08:11LAUGHTER
08:12I mean, 15 seems heavy-handed,
08:14but maybe they were just told
08:16they were visiting an estate
08:17to arrest an unemployed single dad
08:18with criminal connections.
08:20LAUGHTER
08:20What's worse for Andrew,
08:21it was his 66th birthday.
08:24LAUGHTER
08:24I know, Fi said,
08:26is it OK to wonder if he thought strippers
08:27had been ordered for his birthday?
08:29LAUGHTER
08:41He didn't know how to feel about it,
08:42cos he'd booked an escape room for his birthday.
08:45LAUGHTER
08:47This is harder than I thought!
08:49All I've got is a bucket and a bed!
08:51Do you reckon when he opened the door,
08:53they still went,
08:54SURPRISE!
08:54LAUGHTER
08:55But this is the thing,
08:56my thing is,
08:58it's like,
08:58I was wondering,
08:59does Andrew,
09:00does he have two birthdays?
09:02Like, the king?
09:04So they're not going to have to, like,
09:05go and arrest him again in June?
09:07LAUGHTER
09:07And go, by the way,
09:08this is your official arrest.
09:09LAUGHTER
09:10All of this raises so many questions.
09:12Will there be a mug shot?
09:13If so,
09:14will he turn side on to make it look like a stamp?
09:17LAUGHTER
09:18Will he be formally interviewed?
09:20If so,
09:21can it be by Emily Maitlis?
09:23LAUGHTER
09:23Will he go to jail?
09:25If so,
09:25will he be serving at his brother's pleasure?
09:29LAUGHTER
09:30And look,
09:31jail won't be too much of a stretch for Andrew,
09:33cos he's used to arriving in a massive building
09:34and saying,
09:35what wing will I be sleeping in?
09:37LAUGHTER
09:37I bet...
09:38I bet you he's watching Shawshank Redemption now,
09:40just planning to tunnel out behind a poster
09:43of a sloppy Giuseppe.
09:44LAUGHTER
09:45By the way,
09:46sloppy Giuseppe is not someone you want to meet in prison.
09:49LAUGHTER
09:51The Guardian reported that police
09:53have been assessing allegations
09:54that Andrew shared sensitive information
09:56with the billionaire child sex offender,
09:57Geoffrey Epstein,
09:58when he was a UK trade envoy.
10:00Which makes me wonder,
10:01are we focusing on the wrong part of the sentence?
10:04LAUGHTER
10:04Cos surely the important words are,
10:06with the billionaire child sex offender.
10:09Not the other...
10:10Hours after the arrest,
10:11the King released a statement saying,
10:12quote,
10:13I'm gonna say it.
10:19Any statement you issue about your brother
10:21in which you have to use his full name
10:22is not a good statement.
10:24LAUGHTER
10:25He finished by saying,
10:26let me say clearly,
10:26the law must take its course.
10:28I thought it was interesting
10:29that the King didn't say,
10:30the news about my brother.
10:32Yeah.
10:33I just...
10:34Surely...
10:34I mean,
10:35I'm sure he's thought this many times,
10:37but especially this week,
10:38King Charles must have sat there just going,
10:40how was he mum's favourite?
10:43LAUGHTER
10:52This is the mad thing,
10:54cos they've just changed his name,
10:56and they're basically going,
10:57oh, he's no longer associated with us.
10:58Yeah, yeah.
10:59To be all serious,
11:00like, the Queen and Prince Philip,
11:03they put the money up for him to,
11:05you know, settle that case situation.
11:07I don't know what the legal way to say that is, Adam.
11:10Yeah.
11:10And then, also,
11:11the Queensland who pushed for him to have this job.
11:13Yeah.
11:13And now, basically,
11:14the royals want less to do with him
11:17than Brooklyn does with his own parents.
11:19LAUGHTER
11:23Meanwhile, the family of Virginia Giffray released a statement,
11:25uh, saying,
11:26today, our broken hearts have been lifted
11:27at the news that no-one is above the law,
11:29not even royalty.
11:30Uh, the statement ended with the phrase,
11:31he was never a prince.
11:33To survivors everywhere,
11:34Virginia did this for you.
11:35And, look,
11:36this may well be the first domino to fall
11:37in all of the rich and powerful men named in the Epstein files,
11:40but if Andrew is found guilty,
11:42let's hope he's not just a mascot
11:44who takes the hit for everybody else,
11:45cos it's very hard to believe
11:47that of all the people named in those files,
11:49Andrew is the only person who may have done anything wrong.
11:53Ironically, Andrew's sister, Princess Anne,
11:55yesterday visited a prison in Leeds.
11:59LAUGHTER
12:02Presumably to do a recce.
12:04LAUGHTER
12:05So, if someone was to escape,
12:07how would they do it?
12:10LAUGHTER
12:12LAUGHTER
12:13Did you think exactly how high are these walls?
12:15LAUGHTER
12:16She smuggled in some drugs to put...
12:18so that he could trade them at a later date.
12:20LAUGHTER
12:21For Andrew, there's three grams of spice
12:22under a light fitting.
12:25LAUGHTER
12:26LAUGHTER
12:27The King...
12:27There's a burner phone in the toilet system.
12:30LAUGHTER
12:30The King, on the other hand,
12:32was at London Fashion Week yesterday.
12:34This candid snap of him with Stella McCartney
12:37looks like he was breaking the Andrew news to her.
12:41LAUGHTER
12:41In real time.
12:43LAUGHTER
12:43And you're not going to believe it, it was his birthday.
12:47LAUGHTER
12:49He's going,
12:50She's hidden spice in the light fitting.
12:53LAUGHTER
12:53I tell you what, though.
12:55The King had a great day.
12:57He said there, going, I'll tell you what,
12:58Andrew would have loved this.
12:59LAUGHTER
13:00He'd have loved this.
13:01It's orange jumpsuits in this season.
13:03He'd have been awful.
13:03The only way the King could have had a better day
13:05at London Fashion Week
13:06is if the fashion had turned out to be big gloves.
13:10LAUGHTER
13:12He's asking Stella McCartney
13:13she could make a custom pair for.
13:15LAUGHTER
13:16Look, it's got to be annoying for Andrew too,
13:18cos he's just moved into a new place.
13:19He's probably signed a 12-month contract with Sky.
13:22LAUGHTER
13:23Plus, who's going to look after his massive horse?
13:26LAUGHTER
13:37Absolutely.
13:40I love that even the horse walks the distance themselves from him.
13:46Social media obviously went into overdrive,
13:48and let's be honest, it was only a matter of time
13:49before someone did this poignant drawing.
13:52LAUGHTER
13:57I've just got an image of Paddington offering him cigarettes.
14:00LAUGHTER
14:01And Andrew pulling some out of his arse,
14:03going, no, I keep mine in here.
14:05LAUGHTER
14:05For later.
14:07And look, just when we thought yesterday
14:08that the story had no more left to give,
14:10Andrew was photographed in the back of the car
14:12as he left the police station.
14:13You've all seen it!
14:15LAUGHTER
14:16In this now iconic image.
14:19LAUGHTER
14:21You know when you've accidentally text someone
14:23that you're slagging off?
14:24LAUGHTER
14:26LAUGHTER
14:28I think...
14:28I know there's not much praise given to Andrew,
14:30but you've got to respect a man who drops ecstasy
14:33for a police interrogation.
14:35LAUGHTER
14:37The worst thing was it was an Uber pool.
14:41LAUGHTER
14:41So far tonight, you've used the word spice and ecstasy,
14:44and I've never seen you more uncomfortable.
14:46LAUGHTER
14:47To be fair to Andrew,
14:49people do say you end up looking like your dad.
14:52LAUGHTER
14:56And look, we've all been...
14:57We've all been caught in awkward photos.
14:59I mean, like this one that was taken of Josh and Alex
15:01arriving at the studios today.
15:04LAUGHTER
15:06LAUGHTER
15:07That's the ecstasy in the spot.
15:09LAUGHTER
15:11LAUGHTER
15:11The government are now said...
15:12The government are now said to be considering
15:13removing Andrew from the line of succession
15:15because he's still eighth in line to the throne.
15:18Think is, though, if he goes to prison
15:20and he's queuing for the bog,
15:21he might only be third in line for the throne.
15:23LAUGHTER
15:24Can you imagine...
15:25I'm not certain if he's in prison and king
15:28and the king's speech is done with his one phone call.
15:32LAUGHTER
15:34And he's like,
15:35I'm going to keep it short,
15:36there's some really scary guys behind me.
15:40LAUGHTER
15:41LAUGHTER
15:43I've seen a few Anderson Reubless in here.
15:46LAUGHTER
15:47Look, if ever there was a chance that Andrew might be king,
15:50it's now gone.
15:50Like, he's not going to get to live in a castle,
15:52he's not going to get to wear the crown,
15:53he certainly won't get to be on a stamp.
15:55So, um, we've made this one up for him.
15:59LAUGHTER
16:02And, look, you know, at the end of the day,
16:05all of the... everything that went on yesterday,
16:07he still missed out on his birthday.
16:09Yeah.
16:09He didn't get to celebrate his birthday.
16:10He got home at, like, you know, after 11 hours.
16:12I'm sure they weren't celebrating then.
16:14No, exactly.
16:14So, we thought we'd do something for him.
16:16Like, obviously, all of this broke yesterday,
16:18we haven't had a lot of time to get a cake together,
16:19but we've managed to get a cake together for him.
16:21And I'm just hearing from our producers
16:23that it has just arrived.
16:24So, let's bring out the cake.
16:27And let's sing.
16:30For he's a pervy old fellow.
16:34For he's a pervy old fellow.
16:37For he's a pervy old fellow.
16:41And so say all of us.
16:43I think we need to be quicker.
16:44And so say all of us.
16:46And so say all of us.
16:48And so say all of us.
16:48For he's a pervy old fellow.
16:50For he's a pervy old fellow.
16:52For he's a pervy old fellow.
16:54For he's a pervy old fellow.
16:55Stop!
16:56I need to say this last bit.
16:57Subject to what happens in court.
17:06There you go.
17:07Thanks for you.
17:09Thanks Fergie.
17:10Good luck with the new job.
17:15All right.
17:15Let's bring out tonight's guests.
17:16Two comedians who are making their first appearance on The Last Leg.
17:19And boy have they chosen the right week to do it.
17:21Please welcome Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz.
17:34All right.
17:35Hello.
17:36Hello.
17:37Happy Prince Andrew Arrest Day.
17:39Happy.
17:43Happy.
17:47Why we just said to me happy Prince Andrew Arrest Day.
17:50Happy Prince Andrew Arrest Day everyone.
17:51Hopefully we don't all hump as it's a special occasion.
17:55Look, obviously, the big question is, first question is,
17:58have you ever had a disappointing birthday?
18:01Um, well, I've never been arrested for sharing trade secrets
18:05with a known paedophile whilst in public office,
18:07if that's what you're implying.
18:10I've only had good birthdays.
18:12So, my last birthday, I went to Disneyland,
18:14and on my birthday, I did, like, a character brunch breakfast,
18:18and I was a bit nervous because Captain Hook's there,
18:20and he was obviously a bit of a wrong-un.
18:22But then I was thinking, that's kind of thematically relevant
18:25because he had his own dealings with the underage on an island.
18:31So, you heard it here first.
18:33Captain Hook is on the Epstein files.
18:36Hey, hey, hey, don't have a guy that's disabled on this show.
18:41Fine, allegedly.
18:44I had my 30th in a Wetherspoons,
18:47and I got there before everyone else,
18:50and everyone was two hours late,
18:53so I was just on my own.
18:54Oh.
18:56Very depressing.
18:57Wow.
18:59Even Andrew went, oh.
19:03Now, Chloe, you're on tour at the moment,
19:05and I bring that up for a couple of reasons.
19:07One, to let everyone know you're on tour,
19:09but also because your tour poster,
19:10on your tour poster,
19:11your hair looks remarkably like Josh's
19:13from earlier on in the show.
19:15LAUGHTER
19:17LAUGHTER
19:22You were at altitude as well.
19:27Everyone was, um...
19:28Yeah, everyone was very surprised by Joyce's haircut,
19:30but it's just a classic lesbian haircut.
19:34LAUGHTER
19:35I would urge you not to go to East London
19:37with your hair like that,
19:38or a lot of ladies that look like me
19:39will try and kiss you on the next.
19:41Be very careful.
19:43And why am I not going?
19:45LAUGHTER
19:46You do dress like a lesbian, Josh.
19:48You what, sorry?
19:49You dress like a lesbian.
19:50Yeah.
19:51LAUGHTER
19:53LAUGHTER
19:53I've got to be clear on this.
19:54I do fail one of the key criteria.
19:57LAUGHTER
19:58Which is...
20:00LAUGHTER
20:01LAUGHTER
20:02I'm a man.
20:05You fancy women, that's close enough.
20:07Yeah.
20:08You've brought along a lookalike of Josh, though.
20:11Well, I've met a lot of horses that...
20:14LAUGHTER
20:16You what?
20:16Have we got a photo?
20:17I think you've got a...
20:20LAUGHTER
20:22LAUGHTER
20:22Yeah, I can see it.
20:23I can see it.
20:24LAUGHTER
20:24Shall we get her back on to Prince Andrew?
20:27LAUGHTER
20:29You've copped it more than him tonight.
20:31LAUGHTER
20:31Look, it's been a bit of deja vu for us, uh, this week,
20:35cos it was only a few weeks ago,
20:36we wrote a song to Farewell Peter Mandelson
20:38for his association with Jeffrey Epstein.
20:40And, look, here we are tonight, doing the same for Andrew.
20:42So, much like Westlife did for Barry Manilow,
20:45we're repurposing the same song
20:46with a slightly different twist.
20:48So, to do that, over to you, Charlie Baker.
20:52APPLAUSE
20:54APPLAUSE
21:00You've been entitled all your life
21:04Lovely house, two kids, a wife
21:08But you were brought undone
21:11Cos you had a weird response
21:13When Maitlis asked why
21:15You were friends with a nonce
21:18Sixty-six just yesterday
21:22But this year there'll be no soiree
21:27Not so long ago
21:29You were perving at G-strings
21:32Now you might go down
21:34And you're serving on D-Wing
21:36Oh, Andy
21:37Well, they came and they ruined your birthday
21:42And they took you away
21:45Oh, Andy
21:47Well, who would you want as a cellmate?
21:52Perhaps you could bonk with Mandy
21:58APPLAUSE
22:08We'll have an all-athlete for you after the break
22:09We'll weigh in on the social media ban
22:12We'll check in on the Winter Olympics
22:13And we'll make a prediction for Gorton and Denton
22:14Plus, we want to know
22:15Who does Josh look like in this photo?
22:17Message us on WhatsApp or Instagram
22:19Use the hashtag Joshalike
22:20We'll see you in a little bit
22:22APPLAUSE
22:36Welcome back to Last Leg
22:37We've done my Bridget Christie and Chloe Petz
22:39We didn't get to ask you about Prince Andrew
22:42About all of what you've made of it all this week
22:43Oh
22:44Andrew, sorry
22:45Andrew
22:45Well
22:47I mean, I think you do have to look at the parents
22:51No, because if you look at all these men
22:53They're egomaniacs
22:55And they have a sense of entitlement
22:56And I don't think that just comes in adulthood
22:58Yeah
22:59And I think that
23:00I do
23:00I think we're too easy on little boys
23:03I think we need to be much harder on them
23:06Yeah
23:06Crueler
23:09So that they feel less good about themselves
23:11I mean, I'm convict
23:12No, it's true
23:13Honestly, I was at a birthday party the other day
23:15Yeah
23:16And, um, the
23:17It was my friend's eight-year-old daughter
23:20And they
23:20It was time for the cake
23:22And then her little brother came out
23:23He was about three
23:25Well, and I'm sorry about this
23:26It's not very nice
23:27But he came out holding a poo on a plate
23:30Oh
23:31Disgusting
23:31I thought, oh, well, the shit's going to hit the fan here
23:34Yeah
23:34Anyway
23:35And they'd have an argument that morning
23:37He starts singing
23:38Also, he wasn't dressed properly
23:40So there was only two candles in it as well
23:43And she was eight
23:44I mean, what a loser
23:45Anyway
23:47And then he sings her this song
23:48Happy birthday to you
23:49I've made you up
23:50Who I know it's disgusting
23:51But I hate you too
23:52Oh
23:53Horrendous
23:54Awful
23:54And he wasn't
23:55And also, I've got to be in my bonnet
23:57About
23:57I don't understand why we make allowances
23:59For little children's bad behaviour
24:01And old people's bad behaviour
24:04So like, oh, he's only three
24:06I know he's brought in a poo on a plate
24:07But he's only three
24:08And I know Granny's racist
24:09But she's 90
24:10I mean
24:12No, but it's true
24:15Why do we do that?
24:18It's true though
24:20And also
24:22I'm 54
24:22And I'm not allowed to pee on a plate
24:24And be racist at a party
24:26Am I?
24:27I found that out the hard way
24:31But my point is
24:32My point is
24:34That the mum
24:35I thought the mum
24:35Was going to go mad about it
24:37But she didn't
24:37She just went
24:38Oh, oh dear
24:39Should we put that in the toilet
24:40Where it belongs
24:41I've forgotten his name
24:42I'm so traumatised by it
24:43Adolf probably
24:44Anyway
24:45And I was like
24:46Oh, this is awful
24:47And I don't think
24:48She would have been
24:48If it was a little girl
24:50I think she would have been
24:50Much harder
24:51On the girl
24:52Because we encourage girls
24:53To be caring
24:54And nice
24:55And nurturing
24:55We don't
24:56And I think
24:58It is precisely
24:58Because we tolerate
24:59Little boys
25:00Pooing on plates
25:01At their big sister's
25:02Birthday parties
25:03That Donald Trump
25:04Is the president
25:05Of the United States
25:09He's got to be harder on them
25:16And that Andrews
25:18Andrews gotten away with it
25:19I mean
25:19It starts
25:20I think
25:20It must have started
25:21When he was little
25:22Chloe, your thoughts
25:22Um
25:23I just liked
25:25That it happened
25:25On his birthday
25:27Because I'm pretty sure
25:29That the arresting officer
25:30Must have been
25:31A gay man
25:32Right
25:33To have that level
25:34Of drama
25:35And chaos
25:38Sat round in the briefing
25:39Like
25:39We shouldn't do it
25:40On his birthday
25:41Should we
25:43And then
25:44They definitely
25:45Plan to get one
25:45Of those big cakes
25:46Right
25:47And then the arresting officer
25:48Jump out of it
25:49And be like
25:50Come on prince
25:51You're going
25:52To the slammer
25:54All right
25:55Let's move on
25:55To other news
25:56Now
25:57And there has been
25:58Other news
25:59Apparently
25:59The boss of meta
26:01Mark Zuckerberg
26:01Was in court
26:02In America
26:02This week
26:03To answer claims
26:03That social media
26:04Platforms
26:04Are engineered
26:05To exploit
26:06Young people's
26:06Brains
26:07Do we think
26:08Social media apps
26:09Have affected
26:10Our brains
26:10Leave a comment
26:11Below
26:15Yeah 100%
26:17I personally
26:18Can't get tiktok
26:19Because I know
26:20That it would
26:21Absolutely
26:21Take over my life
26:22And the good thing
26:23For me
26:24About not having tiktok
26:25Is it gives me
26:26Loads of time
26:26To go on instagram reels
26:31But I think
26:32The thing about me
26:33Is it kind of
26:34Doesn't matter
26:34If I get rid of
26:35The apps anyway
26:35It's the phone
26:36That I'm addicted to
26:37Because if I didn't
26:38Have like instagram
26:38Or tiktok
26:39I'd just be sat there
26:40Like scrolling
26:41The tesco club card
26:42I did this
26:44I genuinely
26:45I locked off
26:46You can get this thing
26:46Where you locked off
26:47All my distracting apps
26:49And then I found
26:50Myself bored
26:51On a train
26:52I was like
26:52I wonder which town
26:53Has uber
26:56So I just
26:57Went on my uber app
26:58And typed in
26:59Different towns
27:00To see if it worked
27:01I was like
27:01I am addicted to this
27:03So there's talk
27:04Of a social media ban
27:05For children under
27:0616
27:06How do we feel about that
27:08Definitely
27:08I would do that
27:09Because it affects
27:10Genuinely
27:11To be serious
27:12Um
27:13It
27:13You can feel it yourself
27:15It affects you
27:16I've never
27:17Gone on social media
27:18And left feeling happier
27:20I always feel worse
27:21I feel more antsy
27:22I feel more anxious
27:24Do you disagree
27:24I'm sorry
27:26I think that
27:26Any parent
27:28I think that
27:29If you've got children
27:30You want them to be on social media
27:32Even more
27:33Because it means that
27:34You don't have to
27:36Talk to them as much
27:45I think they should be on it more
27:48I think all these politicians
27:49Saying no
27:50We've got to ban it
27:50They obviously don't spend
27:51Any time with their children
27:52At all
27:54Over Christmas
27:55My daughter
27:56Made me
27:57A pasta dish
27:58From a recipe
27:59From TikTok
28:00And then played me
28:01A Labby Siffre song
28:02That had gone viral
28:03On Instagram
28:04Yeah
28:04And I was
28:05Eating this amazing dinner
28:06Listening to this music
28:07Going
28:07Social media is awesome
28:08Yeah
28:09Yeah but
28:10Like recipes and music
28:11Existed before social media
28:20Alright let's move on
28:21To the Winter Olympics now
28:22GB racked up their third gold medal
28:24Last night
28:25GB's curlers
28:26Made it through to the final
28:27Which will take place tomorrow
28:29They're going to take on Canada
28:30Geocast said
28:31Is it okay
28:32That the most badass thing
28:33About Canada
28:33Is that they're cheating
28:34At curling
28:37So this week
28:38The Swedish curling team
28:39Accused the Canadian team
28:40Of double touching the stone
28:41Which sounds very much
28:43Like an Australian euphemism
28:44For ruining the toilet
28:47Oh mate
28:48I think I just
28:49Double touched the stone
28:51Didn't Prince Andrew
28:52Double touch the stone
28:54The Canadian athlete
28:55Was accused of
28:56Letting go of the stone
28:57Then giving it a tiny
28:58Extra flick with his finger
29:00Which is not allowed
29:01His response was
29:02To tell the Swedish curler
29:03To and I quote
29:04Fuck off
29:06I know
29:07It's the most exciting thing
29:08To happen to curling
29:10I mean
29:14Who would have thought
29:15The great rivalry
29:16Of our times
29:17Would be between
29:17The firebrands
29:18Of Sweden and Canada
29:19I love the fact that
29:22Somebody told someone else
29:24To fuck off
29:24While they're both
29:25Holding brooms
29:27But this is why
29:29I mean
29:29You don't
29:30You
29:30Canada
29:31You don't want to mess
29:32With Sweden
29:33Because you know now
29:34All the flat pack furniture
29:36That's getting sent to Canada
29:37That's going to have
29:38One screw missing
29:41And finally
29:42How did World War 3 start
29:44And you go
29:44Well it's between Canada
29:46And Sweden
29:48Or should you start
29:50The bombing first
29:52Oh no after you eh
29:54Finally Chinese skier
29:56Is this your audition tape
29:59For
30:00Hello
30:00Hello
30:01Finally Chinese skier
30:03Eileen Gu
30:03Gave one of the best
30:04Answers of all time
30:06At the Winter Olympics
30:07To a journalist this week
30:08Who asked whether
30:08Her two silver medals
30:10Could be seen as a loss
30:12Do you see
30:13These as two silvers
30:15Gained
30:15Or two goals lost
30:19I'm the most decorated
30:20Free skier
30:21Female free skier
30:22In history
30:22I think that's
30:23An answer in and of itself
30:26How do I say this
30:28Winning a medal
30:29At the Olympics
30:30Is a life changing
30:32Experience for every athlete
30:33Doing it five times
30:35Is exponentially harder
30:36Because every medal
30:37Is equally hard for me
30:39But everybody else's
30:40Expectations rise
30:41Right
30:42And so
30:42The two medals
30:44Lost situation
30:46To be quite frank with you
30:47I think is kind of
30:49A ridiculous perspective
30:50To take
30:50I'm showcasing my best skiing
30:53I'm doing things
30:54That quite literally
30:55Have never been done before
30:56And so I think
30:58That is more than good enough
30:59But thank you
31:02Yes
31:02There it is
31:04Come on
31:05At the field
31:08Me and you
31:10How many times
31:11Have we had the conversation
31:12You know
31:13Do we see it as a foot lost
31:14Or a silver one gain
31:19You were fired up
31:20By that Chloe
31:21Yeah absolutely
31:22That was astounding
31:23And that was her
31:24Under the intense
31:25Pressure and media scrutiny
31:27That was so eloquent
31:28And beautiful
31:29Big up her
31:30Also
31:30Eileen Gu is one of the
31:33Highest paid female
31:34Athletes on the planet
31:35She won two silvers
31:36In skiing
31:37And gold
31:37In the freestyle
31:38Verbal smackdown
31:40As I mentioned earlier
31:41The big story of the week
31:42Was going to be
31:43The Gorton and Denton
31:44By-election
31:44It does take place
31:46Next Thursday
31:46And is being seen
31:47As a massive test
31:48For Keir Starmer's leadership
31:49We should have the results
31:50Of the by-election
31:50For you next Friday
31:51Unless another royal
31:52Is arrested
31:53But
31:56I have to cross fingers
31:58Using two hands
32:03This week though
32:04We thought we'd try
32:05To predict the winner
32:05Of what you called
32:06The Mancunian candidate
32:16Now we've taken
32:18Our inspiration
32:18From the Winter Olympics
32:20For this predictor
32:21And just
32:22Genuinely
32:23People accuse us
32:24Of bias
32:24No matter what it is
32:25That we're doing
32:26So
32:26This week
32:28Josh and Alex
32:28Will randomly choose
32:29Helmets
32:30To put on our skiers
32:31Each helmet
32:32Will represent
32:32A different party
32:33We are doing this
32:34Clearly
32:35Fairly
32:35And above board
32:36Just like FIFA
32:38We've got 11 candidates
32:39Up there
32:40Alex pull out a helmet
32:41I'll tell you
32:42Which candidate
32:44And party it's for
32:44Happily
32:45This is
32:46The Conservative Party
32:48The Conservative Party
32:50Their candidate
32:50Is Charlotte Cadden
32:51She spent 30 years
32:52As a police officer
32:53So she's used to
32:54Dressing in blue
32:55This is
32:56The Communist League
32:58The Communist League
32:59The candidate is
33:00Hugo Wills
33:01They are an exceedingly
33:02Left wing political party
33:03And not
33:03As I thought
33:04A super group
33:05Made up of members
33:05Of the Communards
33:06And Human League
33:08The Social Democratic Party
33:11Social Democratic Party
33:12The SDP
33:13Sebastian Moore
33:14Volunteers at a food bank
33:15And at 29
33:16Is a Millennial
33:17Which means
33:17If you don't vote for him
33:18He'll say
33:18It's totes cringe
33:20Rejoin EU
33:22Rejoin EU
33:24Joseph Omar
33:25From the Rejoin EU Party
33:27Wonder what their policies are
33:29I guess we'll never know
33:31Oh the Green Party
33:33Sorry I broke the hat
33:34Oh the hat's broken
33:35Green Party
33:35It's Hannah Spencer
33:36That's because
33:37It's not been made
33:38From good plastic
33:41She's a police officer
33:42No she's a plumber
33:43By trade
33:44So let's hope
33:44She can end the leaks
33:45In Westminster
33:46Reform
33:47Reform
33:49Matt Goodwin
33:49Former GB News presenter
33:51Who ate his own book
33:52Live on air
33:52After losing a bet
33:53And it's not the only time
33:54Words have come out
33:55Of his ass
33:58Advance UK
33:58Advance UK
33:59Nick Buckley
34:01Is a candidate
34:01I don't know much about him
34:02But he's got a subheading
34:03On his Wikipedia page
34:04That says
34:04And I quote
34:05Views about women
34:09Libertarian
34:11Libertarian
34:11That is Dan Clark
34:12Is against digital ID cards
34:14And wants to roll back
34:15The arm of the state
34:15Just like Andrew
34:16Mountbatten wins
34:17But for very different reasons
34:18Labour
34:20Labour
34:21The candidate
34:21Is Angelica Stoyer
34:23She's a Labour candidate
34:25Or as she's known
34:26In Manchester
34:26Can't believe it's not Burnham
34:28Liberal Democrats
34:29Liberal Democrats
34:30Jackie Piercy
34:31A normal competent woman
34:32Who's lived in the area
34:33For years
34:33So she's not going to win
34:36And finally
34:37The monster raving
34:38Loony party
34:38The monster raving
34:39Loony party
34:42Their candidate
34:43Is Sir Oinkalot
34:46Whose slogan is
34:47Genuinely
34:47Think big
34:48Vote pig
34:50Alright
34:50I'm going to count down
34:52I'm going to ask you
34:53To lift the barrier
34:54And the winner
34:55Will be the skier
34:56Who goes the furthest
34:57Once they get off the edge
34:58Glad you're asking me
34:58To do this on live TV
35:00That's great
35:003
35:012
35:011
35:02Go
35:04And it
35:06I'm going to say
35:08Oh my god
35:10Are you okay?
35:10Yeah
35:11I'm fine
35:11Oh my god
35:13It's number two
35:15I fell off
35:16I was so excited
35:19I fell off
35:20No it's number seven
35:24What a way to become disabled
35:27I was so excited
35:31I fell off
35:32So according to our poll
35:34The libertarian candidate
35:36Dan Clark
35:36Is going to win
35:37Gordon and
35:38Benson
35:40Best episode ever
35:42That's high
35:48You know what
35:50I'm better on the ski slopes
35:5314 years waiting for you
35:55To get a limp
35:57We'll have all last week
35:58For you after the break
35:59We'll ask whether aliens are real
36:00We'll meet this week's mystery guest
36:02And we'll find out if Josh is okay
36:04Plus we want to know
36:05Who does he look like
36:06In this photo
36:06Message us on WhatsApp
36:07Are you okay?
36:08Oh my god
36:08You've torn through your jeans
36:10Oh no
36:13Hashtag a Joshalike
36:14We'll see you in a bit
36:28Welcome back to The Last Leg
36:30We're joined by Bridget, Christy and Chloe Petz
36:32We've asked you tonight
36:34Who Josh looks like
36:34In this photo
36:36Andy said
36:37My dog
36:43Can we add the RSPCA to that please
36:47Johnny said
36:48Claire Balding
36:52And Hallie said
36:53This llama
37:03All right
37:04Back to the news
37:05Is it okay
37:05That Barack Obama
37:07Said aliens are real
37:08This week
37:09I don't know if you've seen this
37:10He was answering
37:11Quickfire questions
37:11On the podcast
37:12And he gave this
37:13Intriguing answer
37:15Are aliens real?
37:18They're real
37:19But I haven't seen them
37:20And they're not being kept
37:22In area 51
37:25There's no underground
37:27Facility
37:28Unless
37:29There's this
37:30Enormous conspiracy
37:31And they
37:33They hid it from
37:34The president of the United States
37:36What about area 52?
37:40So he knows they're real
37:42But he hasn't seen them
37:43The only explanation for that
37:45Is a blind date kind of scenario
37:47Where he's sat there
37:49There's three aliens
37:49On the other side of the screen
37:50And he's just asking them questions
37:53He never picked one
37:54Because they kept coming out
37:55With all sorts of innuendo
37:59Obama later issued a statement
38:00Saying statistically
38:01The universe is so vast
38:02That the odds are good
38:03There's life out there
38:04But the distances
38:05Between solar systems
38:06Are so great
38:07That the chances
38:07We've been visited
38:08By aliens is low
38:09And I saw no evidence
38:10During my presidency
38:12That extraterrestrials
38:13Have made contact with us
38:14I think if
38:15President Obama
38:16Had revealed aliens were real
38:19And we were putting it
38:20In part three
38:23That would show quite
38:24How much we do
38:25Want to talk about
38:26Prince Andrew
38:27I also think
38:29That if aliens were real
38:30We would know by now
38:31Because Trump
38:31Would have told us
38:32Right
38:33I mean like
38:34The aliens are real
38:35And they find me
38:35Very attractive
38:38But funnily enough
38:39Overnight Donald Trump
38:39Announced he's now
38:40Going to direct
38:41The defense departments
38:42To release government files
38:44Relating to the existence
38:45Of UFOs and aliens
38:46Oh for the Epstein files
38:48Come on man
38:48Yeah but wait till he find out
38:51That there's a leak in it
38:53And Prince Andrew's been
38:54Feeding secrets to the aliens
38:58Thingy I mean
38:59Will he be redacting
39:01Any aliens in those files
39:06Look it's been a big year
39:08For conspiracy theorists
39:09First it's revealed
39:10The world is being run
39:11By a cabal of pedophiles
39:12Now it turns out
39:13There might be aliens as well
39:15I mean next week
39:16We'll be interviewing
39:16The Loch Ness Monster
39:17And hear the new song
39:18From Tupac
39:21Alright it's time to bring
39:22On this week's mystery guest
39:23Bridget and Chloe
39:23Have to work out
39:24How they're connected
39:25To the news
39:25Can we have the mystery guest
39:26Please
39:31Mysterious guest
39:40Okay so
39:41Who is the mystery guest
39:42This is Brenda
39:43Brenda was in the news
39:44This week but the question
39:45Is why can we have
39:47The dramatic lighting change please
39:51Was Brenda in the news
39:53Because
39:53A she was reunited
39:55With her prosthetic leg
39:56Ten months after losing it
39:57In the sea
39:58Because it finally washed up
40:00On a beach
40:00In east yorkshire
40:01Was it
40:02Because she was reunited
40:03With her prosthetic leg
40:05Ten months after checking it
40:06Into the cloakroom
40:36At the o2 arena
40:37Leg amnesty at the end
40:39Or sometimes
40:40We just all put them
40:40In a bowl
40:46I do like the idea
40:47Of a leg honesty box
40:50I think
40:51I think whatever happens
40:52We know that Brenda
40:53Is a messy as fuck
40:55That is cool
40:56Yeah
40:57Wow
40:57Okay
40:59Should we ask some questions
41:00Well
41:01Just
41:01We have time
41:02What was the concert
41:08What was the concert
41:10What's the point
41:13I will unveil a song
41:14For her as well
41:15Plus Josh will wrap up
41:16The last seven days
41:16We'll see you in a little bit
41:30Welcome back to the last leg
41:31We're joined by Bridget Christie
41:32And Chloe Petz
41:33Now before the break
41:34We challenged them
41:35To work out how this person
41:36Was connected to the news
41:37Can we have the options
41:38Again please
41:40So was Brenda
41:42A reunited with her prosthetic leg
41:43After losing it in the sea
41:45And it finally washed up
41:46On a beach in East Yorkshire
41:48Was she reunited
41:49With her prosthetic leg
41:50After checking it
41:51Into the cloakroom
41:51At the O2 arena
41:52And losing her ticket
41:53She eventually found it
41:54And they returned the leg
41:55Was she reunited
41:56With her prosthetic leg
41:57Ten months after
41:58Picking up someone else's
41:59In the changing rooms
42:00Of a disabled line dancing session
42:02And she found it
42:03In a leg amnesty
42:04What are your thoughts
42:05I wish it was all three
42:07But we think it is
42:09Lost at sea
42:10Lost at sea
42:13Brenda you've just
42:14Given away the answer
42:15But
42:16Can you tell us
42:18The correct answer please
42:20Lost at sea
42:21Yay
42:21It was wild
42:23Thank you
42:24Thank you
42:26Thank you
42:26High high five
42:31How
42:32How
42:33How
42:33We all want to know how
42:36What are you doing now
42:36On my bucket list
42:38Was to have a swim in the sea
42:41Before I was 70
42:42So I joined the flamborough flippers
42:45And decided I was going to have this first dip with them for safety reasons obviously
42:50And I had a sea leg
42:53Don't laugh
42:54I had a sea leg on
42:55So you can just go to the water
42:58So you can just go to the water
42:58You're not supposed to actually swim with it
43:00You're supposed to just get there
43:01Take it off
43:02And then swim on
43:04Yeah
43:05Unfortunately
43:05They wanted photographs
43:06So we stood along
43:08Had a photograph done
43:10And at the last minute
43:11A big wave come and knocked me over
43:14And I fell backwards
43:15Leg went
43:17Off
43:18When it travels
43:20I fell on the floor
43:22But did nobody try and get
43:24Get the leg for you
43:25Um
43:25Somebody apparently saw a leg
43:28Yeah
43:28But couldn't
43:30But couldn't actually
43:31Get hold of it in time
43:33Because the wave was
43:35Took it off
43:36That's a shit lifeguard
43:37That is
43:38So you got the leg off the leg
43:41You'd forgotten about it
43:42Then what happened
43:42Oh
43:42Ten months had gone by
43:44And I'd forgotten about it
43:45And thought
43:45Well I'm never gonna go to see it again
43:48Just thought
43:48I'd never see it again
43:50And then a fossil hunter
43:52Found it
43:54Ten months later
43:55And posted it on Facebook
43:57And one of the Flamborough flippers
44:01Noticed it
44:02And remembered me
44:03And said
44:04Must be hers
44:05And they sent me
44:07They sent me the picture
44:08Of this leg
44:10Embedded in clay
44:11And the fossil hunter dug it out
44:14In clay?
44:14No it was like
44:15In the
44:16In like this
44:17Bottom of the hill
44:18It was like just
44:19Embedded in
44:19Your leg was in a cliff
44:20Yeah in a cliff
44:22Sorry
44:23It wasn't in the bottle
44:24It wasn't in the bottle
44:25It wasn't in the bottle
44:27It wasn't in the bottle
44:27No it was in the cliff
44:28It was like washed up so hard
44:30Yeah
44:30It embedded itself
44:31In some clay
44:32Is it or is the leg like
44:34Is it usable is it
44:35Um
44:35Probably yeah
44:37Probably
44:37Is it like a shell
44:39Where if you put your ear to it
44:41You can hear the sea
44:41I don't know
44:43I'm not that familiar with it yet
44:45I've not had it very long
44:46It's only recently been found
44:49But I reckon it probably is yeah
44:51Well listen we love this story so much
44:53We think it could be a musical
44:54Uh
44:55And we've written a song for it
44:58And we're going to end the show
44:59With it tonight
44:59Yes
44:59The song about you and your reunited leg
45:02Uh would you please thank Brenda
45:03Thank you very much
45:04Thank you
45:05Well done Brenda
45:06Well done Brenda
45:11Uh alright very briefly
45:13We ask you who you think Josh looks like in this photo
45:15Uh
45:16Ollie said a young Alan Bennett
45:20Uh
45:20Katie said Princess Diana
45:24Kelly said
45:25Kelly said
45:26Kelly said Gail Platt
45:32And Alex's mum Elaine Brooker said Peter Mandelson
45:40Jesus Christ mum
45:42Alright
45:43We are about to end the show with a song about Brenda's prosthetic leg
45:46That was returned after 10 months at sea
45:49But before we do would you please thank our guests Bridget Christie
45:53And Chloe Petz
45:57And my co-host Josh Whittacom and Alex Brooker
46:02We'll be back next week with comedians Jason Manford, Bella Hull and Lou Sanders
46:07Right now though we'd like to leave you with a song we wrote about Brenda Ogden's prosthetic leg
46:11That was discovered in a cliff last week after 10 months at sea
46:16And with Wuthering Heights topping the box office we asked Kate Bush tribute act moments of pleasure to help us
46:21out
46:21Thanks for watching the last week my name's Adam Hills
46:24See you next week for the next leg
46:26Thank you
46:26Thank you
46:26Thank you
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47:47Thank you
47:48Thank you
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