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The Last Leg - Season 34 - Episode 09
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00:02What a break, oh no!
00:04Thank you for lettin' us be ourselves
00:06So don't mind me if I repeat myself
00:08These simple lines be good for your health
00:11And you keep them crime rhymes on the shelf
00:13Live love life like you just don't care
00:15Five thousand leaders never scared
00:18Framing noise is the moment they fear
00:20Get up, son, I'm here
00:22Get up, throw your hands in the air
00:25Drop me up, and show me
00:37Take some government advice, sit the family down
00:40And get ready for your daily hour of screen time
00:42It's Friday, we're live, and it's time for The Last Leg
00:47Tonight on the show, we focus on Iran
00:49Give social media the side-eye
00:51And zoom in on some disability sport
00:54Plus we'll be joined by singer Charlotte Church
00:57And comedian Nabil Abdul-Rashid
00:59On the show that always takes a stern look at the news
01:11G'day!
01:14Hello!
01:15Wow!
01:18G'day, I'm Adam Hills
01:19Welcome to The Last Leg
01:21The show that heard the owner of OnlyFans had died
01:23And thought, I wonder if you have to pay extra for an open coffin
01:27With me as always at the Pride of Dartmoor, Josh Whittacombe
01:30And the man who thought crude oil was the opposite of extra virgin
01:32Alex Brooker!
01:40Loads to get through tonight
01:41Loads to get through tonight
01:42But something happened to me during the week
01:43That I wanted to bring up
01:44Because I know it's happened to Alex as well
01:46In a similar way
01:47So I was walking to tennis
01:49I was in a pair of shorts
01:50I had my prosthesis on
01:52I had it taped up
01:53Because
01:55Look, it comes undone
01:56When I'm playing
01:57So I have to tape it up
01:58I keep saying to you, mate
01:59You've got to get a new leg
02:01Look, I like this one
02:03It's comfy in it
02:04Ditto, I like mine as well
02:05So as I was walking
02:07This woman walked past me
02:08And she looked down
02:09And she saw my prosthetic leg
02:11And then she looked up at me
02:12As she kept walking
02:13And went
02:13Ooh
02:13Ouch
02:19And she went so quickly
02:20That I didn't have time to go
02:21It's
02:22What a weird thing to say
02:25Imagine if she'd seen Brooker
02:26Ouch
02:27Ouch
02:28Ouch
02:30She's there like E.T. with a little light up thing
02:32Ouch
02:34When you first told us that story
02:36You said, oh, woman walked past
02:37Saw you in your tennis gear
02:38Yeah
02:38And said, ouch
02:39I thought she was like the fashion police
02:41And she was like, oh, ouch
02:44But I've, you know what
02:46I've had it before
02:46So I was in my shorts
02:48And I was in the supermarket
02:51And the geezer kept looking down
02:52You know when someone's looking at you
02:53You go, they're going to say something
02:54Yeah
02:55In a minute
02:55And he just went
02:56So, uh
02:58What happened there
02:59And I was like, oh, well, uh
03:00You know, I had to have my foot amputated
03:02When I was a baby
03:03Because I didn't have one of the bones
03:04In my lower leg
03:06So then I had to make the decision
03:07To amputate my foot
03:08So that's why I've got
03:09A prosthetic leg
03:10And he just went
03:12Well, I hope it gets better
03:14LAUGHTER
03:16LAUGHTER
03:20APPLAUSE
03:20Yeah
03:22APPLAUSE
03:24You must have had people wish
03:25For you to get better
03:29Yeah, no, I used to only have one leg
03:30But it grew back
03:33You had that recently in the gym, right?
03:35Oh, yes
03:35I was in the gym
03:36I was in the gym last week
03:37And I had my shorts on
03:38And I was on the exercise bike
03:40And his geezer kept looking down
03:41At my leg
03:42And I'm used to people
03:43Like, I don't
03:44People do a double take
03:45Especially in the gym
03:46I don't mind it
03:47I imagine they're kind of looking
03:48Just going
03:49Bloody hell, he's done more
03:49Than skip leg day
03:50But he was like looking
03:51He was looking down at my leg
03:53And he kept looking at the lower part of it
03:55And I was thinking
03:55This is really weird
03:56Then I got home
03:57And I got in the shower
03:58Took the leg off
03:59And what I'd forgotten
04:00Is that
04:01The other week
04:02I'd let my eldest
04:03Decorate the leg
04:04With capybara stickers
04:06They're called
04:06So I had stickers
04:08All over my leg
04:10Including one that just says
04:11Love
04:13Which Josh put on there
04:14Which was lovely actually
04:15But yeah, it's fine
04:16You know what
04:16When you lifted your leg
04:17Or your trousers up
04:18The only thing I thought was
04:19Ouch
04:22It's fine
04:23It's fine now
04:23My daughter's into capybara
04:25So I tell you what
04:26When she was into
04:26Sabrina Carpenter
04:27And put them stickers on
04:28I just looked like a pervert
04:29So
04:32I'm going to say a sentence
04:32Now that I've never said before
04:33On this show
04:34And I never thought I would
04:36In other capybara news
04:39A rogue capybara
04:40Escaped from Marwell Zoo
04:42Last week
04:42And has been spotted
04:43Across Hampshire
04:44On the banks of the river
04:45Itchen
04:46And at a pub quiz
04:50I don't know who
04:51That hairy guy was
04:52But he was great
04:52On South American geography
04:57This surprising video
04:58Was taken of the rodent
04:59On the banks of a river
05:00Watch the video
05:01But also listen out
05:02For the name of the woman's dog
05:08Growler
05:09Growler
05:10Oh it's a hot deer
05:11No growler wait
05:16Growler
05:23What in hell is that
05:29Who calls the dog growler
05:32Is that this year's Fenton
05:34Yeah
05:35I'm not sure
05:36Kind of naming your dog
05:37After slang terms
05:38For private parts
05:39Is a
05:39Anyway
05:40This is my sausage dog
05:42Schlong
05:44Minge
05:44Minge
05:45Hear Minge
05:49Torture
05:49Torture
05:52Faps
05:56Sorry I've always wanted
05:57To shout that on TV
06:00First time I said the word
06:01Minge
06:04And let's hope
06:05The last
06:07Alex actually met
06:08A capybara recently
06:09And we're not making this up
06:10No I didn't
06:10Have a look
06:11So yeah
06:11I met him
06:12A bit wanted to do it
06:14He called to himself
06:15I'll come over
06:15And see this little weird thing
06:16With funny little paws
06:17But yeah
06:18But you didn't realise
06:19These capybara snickers
06:20They're like Starbucks
06:21If you get ten
06:21You get to get one
06:22So
06:25We are live
06:26On your telly right now
06:27So feel free to ask us
06:28Any questions about the news
06:29Message us on Instagram
06:30The hashtags
06:30Is it okay
06:31Whatsapp
06:32The number is
06:3407956175908
06:34Or you can scan the QR code
06:36On your screen
06:36Crispin Fisher just messaged in
06:38I mean how's this for topical
06:40Is it okay
06:40Will Tiger Woods
06:41Soon be looking for a new driver
06:45Let's get into the big story now
06:46And
06:47You know what
06:48We all wondered
06:49What World War 3
06:50Was going to look like
06:51Turns out
06:51It's a lot more ridiculous
06:53Than any of us
06:54Would have predicted
06:54In the last 24 hours
06:56Donald Trump
06:57Has described the British Navy
06:58As toys
06:59Said Iran
07:00Had been
07:01Beat to shit
07:02And
07:03I'm not making this up
07:04Implied that the new
07:05Ayatollah
07:05Was gay
07:07He sounds like
07:08Jay from the
07:10Inbetweeners
07:13But the thing is though
07:14Generally
07:15If like
07:15One of your mates
07:16Came out
07:16With all of that
07:17Stuff in the pub
07:17You go
07:18Do you know what mate
07:18Shall we
07:19Shall we get you home
07:21We're not sure
07:22Which of Trump statements
07:23Prompted the CIA
07:24Director John Ratcliffe
07:25To adopt this
07:26Relatable pose
07:28Oh
07:29I thought they were
07:30Just playing hide and seek
07:33He's there counting
07:349900
07:36Donald's hiding
07:36The one place
07:37You wouldn't expect
07:37Melania's bedroom
07:42Do you think
07:43Donald Trump
07:44You know when you
07:44Play hide and seek
07:45With a kid
07:45Yeah
07:46With Donald Trump
07:47It's the same
07:47You walk in
07:48And you can see him
07:50Poking out
07:51But you have to
07:52Pretend you can't see
07:53Trump also
07:55Rambled at length
07:56About his love
07:57Of Sharpie pens
07:57For some reason
07:58Before then
07:59Owning himself
08:00In this less than
08:01Humble brag
08:03I'm the only president
08:04That ever took
08:05A cognitive test
08:06I took it three times
08:09It's actually
08:09A very hard test
08:10For a lot of people
08:11It wasn't hard for me
08:13But it's a cognitive test
08:14It starts off
08:15With an easy question
08:17And by the time
08:18You get to the middle
08:18It gets tougher
08:19By the time
08:19You get to the end
08:20Very few people
08:21Can answer those questions
08:22They get very tough
08:24Mathematical equations
08:24And things
08:26I took it three times
08:27I aced it
08:29All three times
08:30In front of numerous
08:30Doctors that I have
08:31No idea who they are
08:32Who they are
08:36Why is he doing it again
08:38If he's acing it
08:39They're going
08:40Bloody hell
08:40That was good
08:41I've got to see you
08:41Do it again
08:44I think he passes it
08:45Goes out
08:46Gives another press conference
08:47And they go in
08:47They go
08:48Do you know what
08:48I think this fucking
08:49Computer won't work
08:51If you have to take
08:52Any test
08:53A multiple number of times
08:54That's not a good thing
08:55I don't want to get into
08:57A cab with a driver
08:57Who's gone
08:58You know what
08:58I've taken the driving test
08:59Nine times
09:03Going home with someone
09:04And they're like
09:05Do you know what
09:05I've been tested for syphilis
09:07Four times
09:12I think we're okay
09:13Look there has been
09:14A lot of back and forward
09:15This week
09:15In fact the whole thing
09:16Has been very
09:17He said she I said
09:21That's lovely
09:23Trump repeatedly said
09:24Iran are quote
09:25Begging for a deal
09:26But they say
09:27That's not true
09:28And look
09:28Let's face it
09:29It's probably not
09:30The first time
09:30Trump's assumed
09:31Someone was begging for it
09:32When they absolutely weren't
09:36This week
09:36An Iranian spokesman
09:37Yeah
09:38Yeah
09:39Yeah
09:46Repost that one
09:47You orange furball
09:50This week
09:51An Iranian spokesman
09:52Explained the situation
09:53In a way
09:53That made it sound
09:54Less like a geopolitical
09:55Confrontation
09:56And more like
09:57A high school spat
09:59Our American counterparts
10:00Have begun
10:01Sending messages
10:02Through others
10:03Other countries
10:04That are our friends
10:05If there are messages
10:06Through others
10:07To which we respond
10:08With our own position
10:09And demands
10:10That is not called
10:11Conversation
10:12Nor negotiation
10:13Or anything
10:14This is simply
10:15Sending messages
10:16Through others
10:17That's like the political
10:18Equivalent of saying
10:19If you've got something
10:20To say to me
10:21Say it to my face
10:23Today the US
10:23Bombed two nuclear
10:24Related facilities
10:25To which Iran said
10:26But we were on a break
10:28The only time you ever
10:30Pass messages to someone
10:32Through their friends
10:33Is when you're at school
10:34When you fancy someone
10:36Yeah
10:36Speaking of which
10:37Adam can you just
10:38Come over here
10:38Wait a second
10:40Do you mind
10:40Sorry
10:42Can you
10:42Can you just
10:44Give this to Josh
10:45For my place
10:51Not with a Capybara
10:52Involved
10:53No
11:05Don't worry
11:05You can't catch it
11:06I've been telling you
11:07For 14 years
11:09I've been tested
11:10Four times
11:18At one point this week
11:19Donald Trump said
11:20He was working
11:20With the Ayatollah
11:21But that's the same guy
11:22Whose father Trump killed
11:23And who may or may not
11:25Be in a coma
11:25So he's either angry
11:27Or sleepy
11:28But how many talks
11:29Are going to go
11:30If he's in a coma
11:30Are they going to be
11:31Operating him like
11:32Weekend at Bernie's
11:35Look it's not
11:36A Zoom call
11:37Moving his jaw up
11:38It's not surprising
11:39Iran were a little bit
11:40Confused by it all
11:41This week Donald Trump
11:42Presented them
11:42With a 15 point plan
11:43But check out the specifics
11:45In this vague clip
11:4815 points
11:49Well they're not going to
11:51Have a nuclear weapon
11:51That's number one
11:52That's number one
11:54Two and three
11:54They will never have
11:55A nuclear weapon
12:01You can't just repeat
12:03The first three points
12:04Over again
12:04It's not the rules
12:06Of Fight Club
12:07What are rules
12:08Four through 15
12:09What did I just say
12:11Everyone thinks
12:12Sorry
12:12No you carry on
12:13Everyone thinks
12:14That the reason
12:14Why they're not agreeing
12:15To it is because
12:16It's the nuclear weapons
12:17And that's the sticking point
12:18But it's not
12:19It's because I found out
12:20That the US are asking
12:22In those 15 points
12:23They're asking Iran
12:24To do things
12:24That are impossible
12:25For them to do
12:26Like point six
12:27Is eat a donut
12:28Without licking your lips
12:29And they're just
12:31Point seven
12:32Is find a word
12:33That rhymes with orange
12:33And they're like
12:34Look we'll give you
12:34The nucleus but
12:37So one two three
12:38Are no nuclear weapons
12:40And then one two three four
12:42Is I declare a thumb war
12:45And then five six seven eight
12:47Is who do we appreciate
12:50Look the main thing is
12:51Iran already agreed
12:52Not to have a nuclear weapon
12:53Before this war began
12:54In fact the entire plan
12:56That was put forward
12:56This week
12:57Seems to be from May 2025
12:59And the giveaway
13:00Is that it contains
13:01References to the hawk tour girl
13:04Point seven
13:05Is you have to watch
13:06Adolescence
13:09No I just think
13:11That it's
13:13I don't
13:14I forgot what I was going to say
13:17You know what
13:18I was thinking
13:18Is the hawk tour girl
13:20Last year
13:22Point twelve
13:23Is you've got to listen
13:25To Lily Allen's new album
13:26What's incredible
13:27Is you aced
13:28Your cognitive test
13:29Four times
13:30Yeah
13:31And I won the thumb war
13:37Earlier in the week
13:38Donald Trump thanked Iran
13:39For giving the US
13:40Quote
13:40A very big present
13:41Worth a tremendous amount
13:42Of money
13:43And everyone was like
13:44Wondering what this amazing
13:45Gift was going to be
13:46Turned out
13:46It was allowing
13:47Eight ships
13:48Through the Strait of Hormuz
13:49Eight
13:50Before the war
13:51There were 138 ships a day
13:53Going through that strait
13:54That's not much of a gift
13:56If this was love actually
13:57Donald Trump just got
13:58The Joni Mitchell CD
14:01Thankfully the British ship
14:02HMS Dragon
14:03Finally arrived in Cyprus
14:04This week
14:05Four weeks after the war began
14:06More like dragging your heels
14:08Am I right
14:08Oh there we go
14:10And just when you thought
14:11The British Navy
14:11Couldn't look more embarrassing
14:12This week they had to
14:13Borrow a ship from Germany
14:15To fulfil their obligations
14:16In the Atlantic Ocean
14:17How's that working
14:19Like borrowing
14:20Borrowing a ship
14:21Off someone to take to war
14:22Yeah
14:22Like is Keir Starmer
14:24Having to go around the ship
14:25With a German
14:25Like with a diagram
14:26Just marking off
14:27Where the dents already are
14:30No there's a scratch
14:31On the starboard side there Keir
14:34The captain gets into
14:35The seats really far back
14:38The last thing he heard was
14:39Make sure you return it
14:41With a full tank
14:44So look
14:44As the ceasefire is extended
14:46And the world speculates
14:47As to how Donald Trump
14:47Is behaving
14:48We think we've found
14:49A pattern of bullshit
14:50Okay
14:51Now
14:52There's an acronym
14:54Being used to describe
14:55Donald Trump's way of operating
14:56And it's
14:56TARCO
14:57Trump always chickens out
15:00But we think
15:01Something else is going on
15:02And I think
15:02Donald Trump's hairstyle
15:03Is the key
15:04To all this
15:08Now
15:08Donald Trump
15:10Likes to charge
15:11Into things head first
15:12But it doesn't
15:13Always work out
15:14Take Iran for example
15:15This is a map
15:16A vague map
15:17Of the Strait of Hormuz
15:19Okay
15:21Can you tell what it is yet?
15:26Ha ha ha
15:34Now
15:36Donald Trump
15:37Attacked these guys
15:38Who then attacked
15:38All of these guys
15:39They then blocked
15:40All of this up
15:41Stopping the oil
15:42Coming from over here
15:43As you can see
15:45He's made an absolute
15:46Mess of it
15:47So
15:47What does Donald Trump do?
15:50LAUGHTER
15:52LAUGHTER
15:54APPLAUSE
15:56He just brushes over it
15:57With claims of a peace deal
15:58That may or may not exist
16:00All he needs is
16:00A sympathetic media
16:01To create a smoke screen
16:02And hold it in place
16:04LAUGHTER
16:05Oh, that's fucking real.
16:09The hair?
16:10I mean, it doesn't look unlike my hair now, does it?
16:14But this isn't the first time Donald Trump has done this.
16:17Have a look at Stormy Daniels.
16:19Trump's lawyer paid $130,000 in hush money
16:23for her to keep quiet about allegations of an affair with Trump,
16:27which he denied.
16:35How about Trump University, set up in 2004?
16:40It didn't actually confer grades or degrees
16:42and was the subject of a number of lawsuits.
16:45But three of those lawsuits,
16:47Donald Trump settled out of court for $25 million.
16:53Then there was Trump's stakes.
16:58That was with my eyes!
17:01Trump Casino Atlantic City.
17:07And Trump Shuttle,
17:09an airline that went under, ironically,
17:11partly due to a spike in fuel prices during the Gulf War.
17:17That was like being in Guantanamo Bay.
17:21Donald Trump has spent his entire life
17:23running headfirst into things,
17:25making an absolute mess,
17:26and then somehow managing to cover it all up.
17:28Which means TARCO doesn't stand for
17:31Trump always chickens out.
17:32It actually stands for
17:33Trump always combs over.
17:47And there you have it.
17:48Male, pattern, bullshit.
17:57All right, let's welcome tonight's guest.
17:59She's a singer who hosts dreaming retreats in the woods.
18:01He's a comedian who has a purple belt in jiu-jitsu.
18:04She's a lover and he's a fighter.
18:06It's Charlotte Church and Nabeel Abdul Rashid.
18:07Hello!
18:08Oh!
18:08Oh!
18:08Oh!
18:09Oh!
18:09Oh!
18:17Oh!
18:18Oh!
18:21Oh!
18:30Oh!
18:33Charlotte, what do you make of the world at the moment?
18:36Oh!
18:37That can be an answer.
18:40What do I make of the world?
18:41I mean, I think that we wouldn't be in this pickle
18:46if there were far more women in power all the way throughout the system.
18:52And, er...
18:54Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:56Yeah.
18:56I think really the longer the short of it is, erm...
19:00Male egos.
19:02Yeah.
19:03Yeah.
19:04Yeah.
19:04Yeah.
19:04Yeah.
19:06I mean, no argument here!
19:08No argument here!
19:09No argument here!
19:10Nabeel, what have you made of Iran and Trump and all of it?
19:14Well, far be it from me to regurgitate crazy right-wing conspiracy theories, but...
19:29I have to close off my chakras.
19:31Now, ha!
19:32It's all the less fault!
19:34You see, what happened is, Donald Trump...
19:36Follow me now.
19:36Donald Trump was friends with Elon Musk, right?
19:39Mm-hmm.
19:39And they staged a breakup, but it was fake.
19:41And Elon Musk was known for selling what?
19:42Electric cars.
19:43Mm-hmm.
19:44That's right.
19:45Now, they fake that breakup.
19:47He then starts what makes oil become expensive.
19:52Donald Trump has been radicalized by Just Stop Oil.
20:06And, I mean, further proof is this.
20:08What are they known for?
20:08They put orange paint on statues of leaders.
20:13Stay woke, people!
20:22Now, Charlotte, you were asked to sing at Donald Trump's, uh,
20:25inauguration.
20:26I was.
20:27And I know this, because in 2017, you tweeted, and I quote,
20:30Your staff have asked me to sing at your inauguration.
20:33A simple internet search would show I think you're a tyrant.
20:37Bye.
20:38Four poo emojis.
20:47Do you ever look back and think, not enough poo emojis?
20:52Yes, quite.
20:53Absolutely.
20:54Not enough poo emojis.
20:56There's not enough poo emojis in the world.
20:58This week, Donald Trump's egomania reached new heights,
21:01as a coin was approved with him on one side to mark America's 250th anniversary.
21:05This is what the brash new coin reportedly looks like.
21:10It looks like he's about to get a prostate exam.
21:14He's got, yeah, I've had three prostate exams and I aced them all.
21:25I'd love it with a whole bunch of people, I don't know who they were.
21:31What's weird is in America, although, look, there are exceptions,
21:34but it's generally illegal in America to have a living president on a coin.
21:39I mean, there's two ways of fixing that, right?
21:43There are some arguments over how big the coin should be.
21:46Not surprisingly, Trump wants it to be as big as possible.
21:51So, bring in the coin!
22:00Thank you, Adam.
22:02Now, this is the biggest one we can make.
22:04As you can see, this is the front, but every head needs a tail,
22:07so this is what the back looks like.
22:25I'm pretty sure that's called butt coin.
22:28We'll have more Last League for you after the break.
22:30We'll log out of Facebook and limit our screen time.
22:32See you in a little bit.
22:48Welcome back to Last League, we're joined by Charlotte Church and Nabil Abdul-Rashid.
22:52In tech news tonight, a woman in America has successfully sued Meta and YouTube
22:57over her childhood addiction to social media.
23:00Jurors found that both companies intentionally built addictive social media platforms
23:04that harmed the 20-year-old's mental health.
23:06How do we all feel about this?
23:08I'm pleased they've lost. I'm delighted they've lost.
23:11I think it's excellent news.
23:18I genuinely...
23:19You actually sent me that in a Facebook message, didn't you?
23:22So, I think it's...
23:23I think, obviously, there's lots of positive things about social media.
23:27Yep.
23:27Um, but I think, um...
23:29It's not just that I think companies aren't interested in stopping people addicted to it.
23:35It is beneficial for them to make people addicted to it.
23:37Their whole raison d'etre is to get people on it for as long as possible.
23:41So everything they do on there is to get people addicted, to get people to keep going on it.
23:46Yep.
23:46And so I think it's obvious that they're doing that.
23:50APPLAUSE
23:53And...
23:54And...
23:54Rochella, I mean, you run retreats in the woods.
23:57This must be, like, perfect news for you.
23:59Yeah, I think it's really important.
24:01I mean, like, the scientific evidence is really...
24:05I mean, it's not just compelling.
24:07It's just completely self-evident at this juncture.
24:11The cognitive decline.
24:13Yeah.
24:13The ways in which, like, young people's brains are growing differently because of addiction to social media and technology in
24:20general.
24:21And, look, this isn't to say, like, technology's not the bad thing.
24:24Technology's a tool and technology can do some amazing things.
24:28It's about the intention behind the technology.
24:30And the people who have got control of the technology are horrific fascists.
24:37LAUGHTER
24:37And, er...
24:39And they are genuinely...
24:42Like, they are...
24:43They are invested in...
24:45In us being, um...
24:48You know, captive.
24:49Yeah.
24:49You know, in so many ways.
24:51And our children being captive.
24:53Captive.
24:53So, I...
24:54I believe, like, we can't wait for governments and nation-states to put in the legislation that protects us.
25:02I think we have to practise guardianship in our own households and families.
25:07APPLAUSE
25:11Do you reckon...
25:11Now, obviously, now it's been proved to be harmful.
25:14Yeah.
25:15Do you reckon they'll have warnings on it, like cigarettes?
25:17You just log on to Facebook, just see a photo of someone who's been catfished.
25:21LAUGHTER
25:23Nabil, anything that I had?
25:25It's almost like billionaires don't care about people.
25:28LAUGHTER
25:30LAUGHTER
25:34I...
25:35I have a restaurant policy when it comes to these things, right?
25:39Yeah.
25:39So, this is advice for you.
25:40If you go to a Nigerian restaurant or a Chinese restaurant or a Thai restaurant,
25:43and there's no Nigerians, no Chinese, no Thai eating in there,
25:46don't eat there.
25:47So, it's the same thing with these websites.
25:49The owner of TikTok doesn't let his children on TikTok.
25:51What the fuck are you doing on TikTok?
25:53LAUGHTER
25:57APPLAUSE
25:59Uh, while we're talking social media,
26:01the thumbs-up emoji was voted this week
26:03as Britain's least favourite message icon.
26:05Uh, people said it's blunt, lazy and rude.
26:08Tell me about it.
26:10LAUGHTER
26:13Fucking get rid of it.
26:15I don't think you should be allowed to do it in real life, either.
26:18LAUGHTER
26:19Good question, what's everyone's most used emoji?
26:22I'm less of an emoji person.
26:24I'm a chronic voice noter.
26:26Oh.
26:26I know, which is my mighty, isn't it?
26:29Some people are like, love...
26:30I think voice noting is a superior form of communication
26:34as to the humble text.
26:37Why not just call?
26:39LAUGHTER
26:40This is true.
26:41You raise a very good point.
26:42But also, my husband's, like, on at me often
26:47that my elongated, you know, sort of bambling voice notes
26:52are a little self-indulgent, so...
26:55How long's your longest voice note?
26:56I got one of eight minutes the other day.
26:58Oh!
26:59I'm not that bad.
27:00I mean, I think I generally keep it around three minutes longest.
27:04Oh, OK. I think that's all right.
27:05I think that's all right.
27:06Yeah.
27:06My favourite emoji is, uh, that...
27:09that guy?
27:10That guy?
27:11You know the big wide mouth guy?
27:17That guy?
27:18That guy?
27:18You know, you know, you know the one.
27:20LAUGHTER
27:21I mean, he's got a big wide mouth and he looks shocked.
27:25Oh, yeah, OK, yeah.
27:26Do you know the one I mean?
27:27Yeah.
27:27That guy.
27:29I'll tell you what, if we...
27:30I know, like, we've been going down on social media and technology,
27:33but if someone can please make that into a sticker.
27:37LAUGHTER
27:38You know what I mean?
27:39Like, when there's an awkward situation.
27:41That guy.
27:42Oh, the teeth one.
27:44That guy, yeah!
27:44Oh, the teeth...
27:45What did you show your teeth in?
27:47LAUGHTER
27:51Meanwhile, Argos has ignited a debate this week
27:53after releasing a wooden influencer kit aimed at toddlers.
27:57We've got one here.
27:58It's for ages three and above.
28:00I'm going to set it up for you.
28:01There's a little tripod.
28:03It comes with a ring light.
28:05It comes with a phone.
28:08And a camera.
28:10And I guess that's like a little mini tablet of some sort.
28:13Oh, and a microphone.
28:14And a little microphone.
28:15What do we think?
28:17I think the audience seemed horrified.
28:19I mean, where did...
28:20Like, I don't...
28:21I don't like that.
28:23But, like, where does it...
28:23Where does it stop?
28:24Like, my first OnlyFans kit?
28:26I mean...
28:28LAUGHTER
28:34The kit also comes with this adorable private plane
28:37to get you out of Dubai.
28:39LAUGHTER
28:43And, look, we've decided to jump on board
28:44and make our own children's toy
28:46for kids who want to grow up to be on the last leg.
28:48Yeah, so we've made...
28:49So we've got...
28:50We've got our very own...
28:51Me and Josh have made our very own
28:52Josh and Alex kits.
28:54So here we go.
28:55So I'm demonstrating...
28:56This is to be your own very own Josh Widdicombe.
28:59We've got the hair.
29:00We've got the glasses.
29:03We've got the podcast mic.
29:06LAUGHTER
29:07LAUGHTER
29:09And we've got...
29:10Oh, why have we bought some nail clippers in it?
29:12Just for...
29:12Well, cos I've got so many nails on my feet.
29:14Oh, right.
29:14And, yeah, yeah, cool, sure.
29:16And your nails.
29:17You've got...
29:17Josh is modelling the...
29:19This is the Alex one.
29:20So I've got the hair.
29:21Yeah, there you go.
29:21And then I've got the mittens.
29:23Here you go.
29:24You've got the little Alex Brooker hands.
29:27LAUGHTER
29:27I'll tell you what, you wear them at Disney,
29:29until you get to the front of the queue.
29:31LAUGHTER
29:32And then...
29:32Look!
29:33Look at this!
29:33Your very own slide-on prosthetic leg.
29:37LAUGHTER
29:38That's a whole, isn't it?
29:39LAUGHTER
29:42APPLAUSE
29:45Yeah, I, um...
29:47I'm gonna be honest, I think I took it in a slightly different direction.
29:49Uh, I've got my first...
29:51My first bone sore.
29:53LAUGHTER
29:54Uh, and then I've got some strawberry flavoured anaesthetic.
29:57LAUGHTER
29:58And a shitload of bandages, all in a little kit called, uh,
30:01the Last Leg Amputation Kit, so...
30:04LAUGHTER
30:05Yeah.
30:10Kids at home, send in your videos, let us know how you got on.
30:13LAUGHTER
30:14Uh, and look, let's do a bit of royal news now.
30:16The Sun this week said that the Duchess of York, Sarah Ferguson,
30:19once met with an American production company
30:20to discuss taking part in a TV reality show
30:23in which she would create clones of Queen Elizabeth's corgis.
30:28Oh, I was worried that if she'd have taken it on,
30:30it would have gone well,
30:32then the idea would have been to clone Andrew.
30:34LAUGHTER
30:35And then the clone would go to prison.
30:38LAUGHTER
30:38Oh, that's clever.
30:39Do the jail time for him.
30:40What if that went wrong,
30:41and she mistakenly cloned 100 Andrews?
30:44LAUGHTER
30:44That's the worst scenario.
30:46God, yeah.
30:46What would you rather fight?
30:47Like an Andrew made up of 100...
30:49Like a massive 100 Andrew-sized Andrew,
30:51or 100 little Andrews?
30:53Are we stoned?
30:54I think so.
30:55LAUGHTER
30:58Did Steve give Josh and Alex an idea for a game, though?
31:00Oh, yes.
31:01Yeah, it did.
31:02So, now, cloning corgis.
31:04We were discussing this earlier this week,
31:05and we said the point is there's no point cloning a corgi
31:09because you can't tell them apart.
31:10All corgis look the same.
31:11Yeah.
31:12And I'm telling you now,
31:12if I had a pound for every time someone has said to me
31:14I can tell any corgis apart easily,
31:16I'd have about £2.36 by now.
31:18So, we are going to put this to a test in a game.
31:21We are calling...
31:24Corgi eyes.
31:27I can't believe my corgi eyes.
31:36Yes!
31:37Welcome to our brand new game show.
31:40Luke!
31:41I can't believe my corgis.
31:45So, this is a game the Queen herself used to regularly play
31:48in a drawing room, right?
31:49In a moment, my dear friend Alex Brooker over there...
31:52...and I are going to unveil nine pictures of corgis.
31:56OK?
31:57But eight of them are the same corgi.
32:01And one is a different corgi.
32:03How do you find the different corgi?
32:07Basically, all you have to do is use the power of your own corg eyes
32:09and tell us which is your one out.
32:12But before we start,
32:13I want to let you know this isn't just a silly game
32:15because we have a very important special prize on offer for you.
32:20This prize is worth winning if you don't live in a flat or have allergies.
32:24Right.
32:25Let's uncover the corgis.
32:28OK, so...
32:29There's corg A.
32:31Corg A.
32:32Corg B.
32:34Oh, they're...
32:35Here's corg C.
32:36Oh, this is...
32:37Corg D.
32:39Happy little guys.
32:40Oh, I understand.
32:40Corg E.
32:42Yeah, get it?
32:43Oh.
32:44Corg F.
32:45Corg F.
32:46Corg G.
32:47I can hear Charlotte's already playing along.
32:48Oh, sorry.
32:50Corg H.
32:51OK.
32:52Ooh.
32:53And corg I.
32:54Oh.
32:55There you go.
32:56OK.
32:56What do you think in the audience?
32:58No, not the woo.
33:02Which corgi are you going for?
33:04What are you going for?
33:05What are you going for?
33:05He's the real one.
33:07He's the real one.
33:08So what do you think, guys?
33:10I think we think...
33:10Well, I'm thinking that C's the real one, simply because all the rest of them...
33:14No, they're all real corgis.
33:15They're all real corgis.
33:16None of them are AI.
33:17This isn't corg AI.
33:19This isn't corg AI.
33:20Oh, yes!
33:22Yes!
33:23Yes, brother!
33:25We're done!
33:27Huh?
33:28Huh?
33:28Huh?
33:29So corg C is the...
33:31Not the real one.
33:33The uncloned one.
33:34The uncloned one.
33:35Do you agree with that, Nabil?
33:36I'm not sure, but there's something about corg AI that makes me...
33:40It looks like it has some kind of substance habit, but that's like...
33:44You had some of that air spray weird.
33:46Okay, so which are you going to lock in your answer?
33:48C, Charlotte?
33:49I'm going to go for C.
33:50Nabil?
33:54What's that sound?
33:55Trying to see what I can recognize.
33:58Yay!
34:01Woohoo!
34:02Wrong corg that sort of thing in this gang.
34:04Oh, yeah.
34:04We probably need an answer.
34:06I think that...
34:08Corgi.
34:09Corgi.
34:10You think corgi, and Charlotte, you said corg C.
34:13Yeah.
34:13Corg C.
34:15Oh, well, I can tell you.
34:17It was a good try, but it's not right.
34:19Your eyes have deceived you.
34:21No.
34:21You failed to spot the old corgi out, and I can't believe you got it wrong.
34:24It's corg D.
34:25Aww.
34:26Aww.
34:27Sorry, and you could have...
34:28You could have won...
34:29You could have won the special prize.
34:31Well, let's see what you could have won.
34:32Let's bring it out.
34:33Oh, gosh.
34:35Corgi.
34:38I can't believe that.
34:41Corgi.
34:46Oh, no.
34:47Is it trained to bark on certain words?
34:51There's certain words, yeah.
34:53He's a little bit against a certain American president.
34:57Ah.
34:58Does it work if I say Donald Trump?
35:01Trump.
35:07All right.
35:08We'll have more last leg for you after the break as we meet England's deaf women's
35:11futsal team and celebrate their massive victory.
35:13We'll see you in a little bit.
35:26Welcome back to Last Leg.
35:28We're John Marshall at church and Nabeel Abdul-Rashid.
35:31In disability news now, a woman by the name of Becky Coleman is hoping to become the first
35:35wheelchair user to row the Oxford and Cambridge boat race course in April.
35:39She's here with us tonight.
35:40So, would you please welcome Becky Coleman.
35:42Woo-hoo!
35:46Becky Coleman!
35:52Now, Becky, let's first say you're wearing a mask because you really don't want to catch
35:56anything before the race.
35:57Is that right?
35:57Yeah.
35:58Got to stay good for next week.
35:59So, yeah.
36:00Awesome work.
36:01So, when did you start rowing?
36:02So, I started rowing just under a year ago, a couple of days before the Oxford and Cambridge
36:07boat race actually, last April.
36:10Right.
36:10And what changes have to be made to the boat?
36:12Yeah.
36:13So, I row with a fixed seat, so I just row with my arms.
36:16And I also have stabilisers on the boat as well to add a bit of extra stability.
36:20And you're the first person to do this, so what's the plan for the future?
36:24Possibly maybe do the Head of the Charles in America at some point.
36:28So, I know we've had a bit of a dig at the US this evening, but maybe, still welcome.
36:34Yeah, possibly that.
36:35And maybe write a book at some point as well, kind of my experience with sepsis that I had
36:39a few years ago.
36:40So, yeah.
36:40And so, like looking into your biog, you're also an elite triathlete and a top 40 wheelchair
36:45tennis player.
36:46So, can you stop making the rest of us look bad?
36:56We do have a little gift for you.
37:00We've got a little hands in a boat.
37:02Hands was our little Paralympic mascot.
37:09There you go.
37:10No worries.
37:12Good luck.
37:12Give us a wave.
37:13Take hands with you.
37:14Good luck, Becky.
37:21Glenn said, is it okay that the women's England's deaf footballers are champions?
37:26Oh yes, it fucking is.
37:27Yes, England won the European Deaf Futsal Championship after their 2-0 win against Poland in the final
37:34over the weekend.
37:35Here are some of the highlights.
37:37This is the first goal from Lucinda Lawson.
37:41Great finish.
37:42Great finish.
37:43Here are the scenes at the final whistle.
37:49And here's the trophy left.
37:56We are very excited to have them in the studio, and they're just as excited to be here,
38:00so put your hands in the air like you really care for the European champions, the England
38:03Deaf Women's Futsal Team!
38:05Woo!
38:07Woo!
38:10Woo!
38:12Woo!
38:14Woo!
38:15Woo!
38:17Woo!
38:17Woo!
38:19Woo!
38:21Woo!
38:22Woo!
38:31Woo!
38:33Woo!
38:34Woo!
38:34Zara, the captain, where's Zara?
38:36Zara, what changes are made to the rules of your game?
38:40Yeah, so it's an indoor five-a-side football style.
38:44Obviously, that's the format.
38:45Without the walls, we play on a hard surface with a heavier ball.
38:49Yeah. So it's a little bit different than football
38:51because we play indoors.
38:53But in terms of the deaf football game,
38:55we obviously play without our hearing devices.
38:57So everyone's on a level playing field
38:59and the referees are supposed to use flags instead of whistles.
39:03It doesn't always work out that way,
39:04especially when you see a referee blowing a whistle
39:06and everyone's still running.
39:08LAUGHTER
39:11So, Kate, what are the challenges of playing deaf futsal?
39:14Well, we can't hear, is the first.
39:17LAUGHTER
39:24That's the start.
39:25I think there's lots of different things that sort of play a part.
39:29So you've constantly got to be aware
39:32of every single little thing around you all the time.
39:35Because as Zara said, sometimes you keep running,
39:38someone else has stopped
39:38and you end up clattering into each other sometimes.
39:42So on the court, that's one thing.
39:45And then off the court, we've actually got...
39:48We've all got full-time jobs.
39:51And then you've got Ellie with a full-time job
39:53and she's also her mum.
39:55And Forrest came out to support us as well.
39:57So there's lots of different challenges.
39:59And Maisie, how do you communicate with each other?
40:02Yeah, so when we get each other's attention,
40:04we use BSL.
40:04So every country will have their own sort of sign language.
40:07But to be honest, the hardest part is actually getting
40:09the person's attention in the first place.
40:12I think some people can pick up a bit of sounds.
40:14You can yell at them and they will hear you.
40:16Most of us it's frantic waving of hands
40:18trying to get people's attention.
40:20Or if you're Ellie better, would you like to jump up and down
40:21and stomp to your feet
40:22and still not get the person's attention?
40:24Yeah.
40:25And Sophie, you're 16.
40:2817.
40:2817, pardon me.
40:30So were you calling home regularly?
40:34No.
40:37To be fair, I'd probably call my friends
40:39more than I'd actually call my own mum.
40:41Which, I'm sorry mum, but...
40:43My friends are more important there.
40:45Yeah.
40:47Wow.
40:48And look, we want to end the show by singing
40:51Football's Coming Home or Futsal's Coming Home,
40:53but we also want to sign it while we do it.
40:55So Lucinda, can you show us how to sign
40:57It's Coming Home, Futsal's Coming Home?
41:05It's Coming Home.
41:08Does it have to be the right hand?
41:09So let's try...
41:11It's coming home, it's coming home,
41:14It's coming, Futsal's coming home.
41:19It's a very small house I've got here.
41:20Yes.
41:22All right.
41:23It's a bungalow.
41:28We're going to try and learn that over the break
41:30and put those skills to use at the end of the show.
41:33We'll hold a sing-along and a sign-along
41:35for the England Deaf Women's Futsal Team.
41:38It's coming home, it's coming home, it's coming, Futsal's coming home.
41:44I think we've got it. We'll see you in a little bit.
41:52APPLAUSE
42:00Welcome back to Last Leg.
42:01We're John Moxell at church and Nabil Abdul Rashid.
42:05We're going to recap some news you might have missed this week.
42:07Sharks swimming in the Bahamas have been found to have traces of cocaine in their blood.
42:13Yeah.
42:14Because sharks aren't cocky enough.
42:17Although I reckon it would be easier to get away from a shark
42:20if before they bit you they had to tell you about crypto.
42:23LAUGHTER
42:24I imagine them so off their nut that in the water
42:27they're doing the Jaws music themselves going...
42:30LAUGHTER
42:32We're going to need a bigger mirror.
42:33Why has my thing gone smaller?
42:36LAUGHTER
42:36I think that would be called the grinding Jaws music.
42:39Along with the great white powder,
42:41sharks were also found to have had caffeine in their system.
42:44I know.
42:45I don't know if you've ever seen an over-caffeinated shark
42:47who's also taken cocaine.
42:49It's pretty much the same vibe as an estate agent's Christmas party.
42:53LAUGHTER
42:54Meanwhile, a former Tory MP named Crispin Blunt
42:56was revealed this week to have been in possession of crystal meth.
43:00Police also found cannabis, presumably for a joint,
43:02or as it's now known on the street, a Crispin Blunt.
43:05LAUGHTER
43:07He represented himself in court, which is never a good sign,
43:10and said that he hosted drug-fuelled chem sex parties at his house
43:14in order to help inform government policy.
43:17No, he didn't!
43:19LAUGHTER
43:20What?!
43:20LAUGHTER
43:21Oh my days!
43:22A man of the people.
43:24LAUGHTER
43:28That's crazy!
43:29I know, right?
43:30Do you know what?
43:31I was up till 3am last night working on policy.
43:34LAUGHTER
43:35I think you might enjoy prison.
43:37LAUGHTER
43:38By the way, Crispin Blunt...
43:38Working on prison policy.
43:41Crispin Blunt lost the party whip in 2023,
43:43and the party handcuffs a year later.
43:46LAUGHTER
43:46Animal Story tonight.
43:48A squirrel was caught on film in London this week
43:50handling a vape in Brixton.
43:53Brr!
43:54LAUGHTER
43:57Here is...
43:59Here is the startling footage.
44:02Uh, there it is.
44:04Squirrel with a vape.
44:05Oh.
44:06I know, somewhere in the Caribbean,
44:07there's a shark on cocaine going, eh, soft cock.
44:10LAUGHTER
44:11LAUGHTER
44:13And finally, Ipswich Town Football Club
44:15were forced to release a statement this week
44:17after reform leader, Nigel Farage...
44:19Oooooooooh!
44:20LAUGHTER
44:21LAUGHTER
44:23LAUGHTER
44:23LAUGHTER
44:24I couldn't help it.
44:25Oh, fuck that guy.
44:26I like that guy.
44:27I like that guy.
44:28I know, you hate Ipswich.
44:29I fucking...
44:30LAUGHTER
44:31LAUGHTER
44:32Sorry.
44:33Huge Norwich fan.
44:34LAUGHTER
44:35Nigel Farage posted these promotional photos
44:37of himself on a tour of the stadium
44:39with the phrase,
44:39I've never been too bad on the right wing.
44:41Fuck off.
44:42Sorry.
44:43Uh, the club pointed out it wasn't an official visit
44:45and that they do not support any political viewpoint.
44:48Uh, yes.
44:49Just reflect how embarrassed the Ipswich town...
44:52The Ipswich fans are so embarrassed.
44:54Like, even more so than Arsenal fans
44:56and Bin Laden supported us.
44:58LAUGHTER
44:59LAUGHTER
45:01Which is rivals Norwich hit back with this cheeky post,
45:04saying,
45:04Book a stadium tour of Carrow Road.
45:06Terms and conditions will most definitely apply.
45:08LAUGHTER
45:09Uh, alright, we're about to end the show
45:10by celebrating the England women's deaf futsal team
45:13winning the European Championships,
45:14but before we do,
45:15would you please thank our guests,
45:16Charlotte Church...
45:17CHEERING
45:20..and Nabeel Abdul-Rashin.
45:22CHEERING
45:24..and my co-host Josh Whittakam
45:26and Alex Brooker.
45:29CHEERING
45:30We'll be back next week
45:31with comedian Josh Pugh,
45:33TV legend Lorraine Kelly
45:34and online sensation Steve Bracknell.
45:35But right now, it's time to celebrate
45:37the England women's...
45:38And I'm...
45:39Yeah, do you know what?
45:39I'm gonna put these on as well.
45:41The England women's deaf futsal team
45:42who last weekend won the European Championships.
45:45CHEERING
45:50Hit the music!
45:54It's coming home, it's coming home
45:58It's coming, console's coming home
46:02It's coming home, it's coming home
46:06It's coming, console's coming home
46:10Everyone seems to know the score
46:16We've heard it all before
46:19But not them, they were sure
46:23That England would just blow them away
46:28With a brilliant display, show them all how to play
46:32Cos they remembered three lines on a shirt
46:38Everybody cheering
46:40It takes twice the work
46:44To win without your hearing
46:59It's coming home, it's coming home
47:04It's coming, console's coming home
47:08It's coming home, it's coming home
47:12It's coming, console's coming home
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