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00:00:22Grazie a tutti
00:00:56Grazie a tutti
00:01:13Grazie a tutti
00:01:54Grazie a tutti
00:02:30Grazie a tutti
00:02:31Grazie a tutti
00:02:34Grazie a tutti
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00:03:22Grazie a tutti
00:03:24Grazie a tutti
00:03:29Grazie a tutti
00:03:35Grazie a tutti
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00:08:01Grazie a tutti
00:10:31Grazie a tutti
00:11:34Grazie a tutti
00:12:07A
00:12:08I
00:12:10K
00:12:15A
00:12:16V
00:12:33It doesn't work.
00:12:41Give us one more chance, monsieur. I'm certain that you will like apartment 418.
00:12:45There's nothing wrong with the apartment downstairs. It's that ocean.
00:12:47But this is a different floor.
00:12:49But it's the same ocean.
00:12:49But don't forget, monsieur, that up here you're 22 feet higher.
00:12:52What sounds like a wild ocean on the third floor on the fourth sounds like a little difficulty with the
00:12:56plumbing.
00:12:57There.
00:12:58Voila, monsieur. This is the most exquisite suite on the Riviera.
00:13:02Show me the bedroom.
00:13:03If you please, monsieur. This way.
00:13:07This, monsieur, is the most elegant bedchamber in our entire...
00:13:16Hello.
00:13:16Hello.
00:13:19And now, if monsieur will inspect the rest of the apartment.
00:13:22If you please, monsieur.
00:13:25Does he go with the plate?
00:13:26Oh, no, no, monsieur. It is nothing.
00:13:28Just a slight misunderstanding.
00:13:28If you please.
00:13:29I want to speak.
00:13:30Don't worry.
00:13:33Monsieur le Marquis, you have caused this hotel grave embarrassment.
00:13:37You had ample warning to move out.
00:13:39I have not yet given up this apartment.
00:13:41You have been moved to apartment 53.
00:13:43Next to the servants' quarters?
00:13:45Never.
00:13:45May I remind you that you haven't paid your bills for the last two months?
00:13:48And may I remind you that I am heartily disgusted with the food in this hotel?
00:13:51You are in opposition to complain.
00:13:53Last Wednesday, for instance, that steak was tough.
00:13:55Maybe it was.
00:13:57But that was no reason for you to disturb the whole dining room by calling for a hammer and chisel.
00:14:00I do not permit any such criticism of my behavior from a hotel employee.
00:14:04Then why don't you leave the hotel?
00:14:06I will.
00:14:06Not before you paid your 60,000 francs.
00:14:08You're going to be paid to the last sou.
00:14:10Oh, I've heard that before, monsieur.
00:14:12Oh, you'll regret this, my good man.
00:14:14I am in communication with an American multi-millionaire.
00:14:17Ah, bah.
00:14:17I have submitted to him a business proposition of such magnitude
00:14:20that the mention of 60,000 francs makes me laugh.
00:14:24Has he accepted?
00:14:26Well, he hasn't refused.
00:14:28I mailed my letter Monday.
00:14:29Well, you can wait for your answer in apartment 53.
00:14:31I will not.
00:14:32Unless these rooms are vacated in one hour, we'll clear them by force.
00:14:43This is the Marquis de Loiselle speaking.
00:14:46Mr. Brandon?
00:14:47Oh, Mr. Brandon, how do you do?
00:14:49Bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, Mr. Brandon.
00:14:52Did you get my letter, Mr. Brandon?
00:14:54What do you think about my proposition?
00:14:56Hello?
00:14:57Hello?
00:14:59You're talking from New York?
00:15:00From New York!
00:15:02Oh, I thought you were a niece, Mr. Brandon.
00:15:04I said I thought you were a niece, Mr. Brandon.
00:15:08Can you hear me?
00:15:09Hello?
00:15:10Mr. Brandon?
00:15:11Mr. Brandon?
00:15:12What?
00:15:13You want to speak to Mr. Brandon?
00:15:16Oh.
00:15:17Hold it, I'm coming.
00:15:19Thanks.
00:15:21New York?
00:15:22Brandon speaking.
00:15:24How's the market, Jeff?
00:15:26Canadian general dropped to 85, buy 300,000 more.
00:15:30How's Pacific Limited?
00:15:32Fine.
00:15:32Sell it.
00:15:33Add another $500,000 and buy Gusher Petroleum to the whole amount.
00:15:38Yeah.
00:15:40Did you get an estimate on the tin factory at P-Pack?
00:15:43Two million?
00:15:44A hundred and twenty-five thousand?
00:15:46It's a bargain.
00:15:47Buy it.
00:15:49Operator, don't interrupt, operator.
00:15:50I know it's three minutes.
00:15:52Hello, Jeff.
00:15:53Say, did you read the Sunday paper?
00:15:56How did Flash Gordon get out of that burning submarine?
00:15:59He didn't?
00:16:01Oh, not till next Sunday.
00:16:04All right.
00:16:05Send me a wire.
00:16:06So long.
00:16:08Thanks.
00:16:09Uh, just a second.
00:16:09Mr. Brandon.
00:16:11Yes?
00:16:11I am the Marquis de Loiselle.
00:16:13How do you do?
00:16:14I'm very glad to have met you.
00:16:15Well, well, well, don't you know who I am?
00:16:17Well, you just told me a Marquis.
00:16:18That's, well, that's somewhere between a count and a duke, isn't it?
00:16:21I wrote to you about a business proposition.
00:16:24Well, I get a hundred business propositions a day.
00:16:27What did you say our name was?
00:16:28De Loiselle.
00:16:29L-O-I-S-E-double-L-E.
00:16:31Oh, Mr. Loiselle, sure, I remember.
00:16:34Well, what do you think about my idea?
00:16:35Great.
00:16:36Isn't it?
00:16:36One of the best projects ever submitted to me.
00:16:39Terrific possibilities.
00:16:40It's a gold mine.
00:16:41Millions in it.
00:16:42Millions.
00:16:42And you'll do it?
00:16:43No.
00:16:44Why not?
00:16:45It isn't worth a nickel unless it's handled right.
00:16:47Oh, naturally, Mr. Brandon.
00:16:48But with my experience?
00:16:50Let me tell you what I've done.
00:16:51Don't bother.
00:16:51I know everything about you.
00:16:52For instance, in 1924, why did you induce a Mr. Bernier to finance automobile races?
00:16:57Why, he was a very rich man.
00:16:59He had the money.
00:17:00I had the experience.
00:17:01And when the races were over, you had the money and he had the experience.
00:17:04Your bank account has overdrawn 10,675 francs.
00:17:08How did you know that?
00:17:10If a man wants to do business with me, I have to know everything about him.
00:17:13Always check up.
00:17:14Always investigate.
00:17:15Oh, that's an excellent idea.
00:17:17This world is full of scoundrels.
00:17:18You bet it is.
00:17:19So long, Mr. Loiselle.
00:17:20But, Mr. Brandon.
00:17:21I'm sorry, I'm a busy man.
00:17:23Mr. Brandon, if you won't finance my business project, would you be interested in buying
00:17:27a bathtub?
00:17:28A what?
00:17:28I have in my possession one of the glories of France, the one and only bathtub of Louis
00:17:32the 14th.
00:17:33Sorry, I use a shower.
00:17:34Oh, but you wouldn't have to use it as a tub.
00:17:36You could put it in your library, use it as an ashtray.
00:17:38Always throw my ashes on the carpet.
00:17:40Carpet?
00:17:40Carpet?
00:17:41I could sell you a carpet.
00:17:42Mr. Brandon!
00:17:44Mr. Brandon!
00:17:47Mr. Brandon!
00:17:48Mr. Brandon!
00:17:49No, no, no.
00:17:50I'm sorry.
00:17:51I tell you, I can't.
00:17:58Aren't you ashamed?
00:17:59A man of your age fooling around with a sweetheart.
00:18:02You know that, too.
00:18:03I only have to look at your pants and I know everything.
00:18:06My pantalons?
00:18:08Oh, oh, I must apologize, of course.
00:18:10They certainly don't match and they are pretty much too long.
00:18:13But you see, well, you know my financial situation.
00:18:16My daughter tries to economize.
00:18:18Your daughter?
00:18:19She bought these for me yesterday.
00:18:21My coat's still good, you see.
00:18:22The girl who bought those pants is my daughter.
00:18:25Is she married?
00:18:26No.
00:18:27Engaged?
00:18:27No.
00:18:28In love with anyone?
00:18:29No, no, no.
00:18:30I'll buy the bathtub.
00:18:31You'll buy the bathtub, Mr. Brandon?
00:18:33Don't call me Mr. Brandon.
00:18:34Call me Mike.
00:18:34We're going to be related.
00:18:38It's only a matter of form.
00:18:40Do you want to know something?
00:18:42I'm beginning to believe in pants.
00:18:44If you hadn't worn those pants, I never would have bought that bathtub.
00:18:47Do you want to know something else?
00:18:48We're going to celebrate our honeymoon in Czechoslovakia.
00:18:52Yes, sir.
00:18:54Yahoo!
00:18:59Albert!
00:19:02Nicole!
00:19:04Hello, Nicole.
00:19:05Hello.
00:19:05I'm sorry I'm late.
00:19:06I was detained at the beauty shop.
00:19:07That's all right, Nicole.
00:19:08Right in the middle of a manicure, the proprietor came in and presented me with last month's bill.
00:19:13Did you pay him?
00:19:14What do you think?
00:19:17You know, the same thing happened to me once with a doctor in the middle of an operation.
00:19:21Do you realize I'm probably the only living man with just one tonsil?
00:19:24Albert, I'd like to talk to you seriously.
00:19:26Do you think that's possible by any chance?
00:19:28Money troubles?
00:19:29Let's sit down.
00:19:33Oh, it's terrible.
00:19:34We owe everybody.
00:19:35Have you ever had a waiter look at you with un-tipped eyes?
00:19:38And the elevator boy.
00:19:40When I say fourth floor, he says, yes, mademoiselle, and makes a detour through the basement.
00:19:44Well, it's humiliating.
00:19:45Oh, I wish I could help you.
00:19:46You can.
00:19:48You're the only person I know who works.
00:19:50Albert, how does one get a job?
00:19:52Well, what can you do, Nicole?
00:19:53Nothing.
00:19:55Absolutely nothing.
00:19:56You know, it's incredible how useless I am.
00:19:58I was thinking about it last night, and I got terribly depressed.
00:20:01And then I remembered that you found a job, and that encouraged me a lot.
00:20:06Hello.
00:20:08Hello.
00:20:09Someone you know?
00:20:10I met him once.
00:20:12Who is he?
00:20:13All I know is he only sleeps in the tops of his pajamas.
00:20:16Oh, I see.
00:20:22Hey, you.
00:20:24Are you speaking to me?
00:20:25I beg your pardon.
00:20:26I mean him.
00:20:27He can't talk to me like that.
00:20:28I should hope not.
00:20:30Well, don't worry.
00:20:30I'll show him.
00:20:31Good.
00:20:35Well?
00:20:36Well?
00:20:37Well, good morning.
00:20:39Morning.
00:20:40Mind if I sit down?
00:20:41Sit down.
00:20:43You know, I was just saying to the lady I'm with, I said, look, who's that good-looking chap over
00:20:48there?
00:20:50Yes.
00:20:51You know, your face looks familiar to me.
00:20:54Oh, I know where we met.
00:20:55At the races at Deauville last summer.
00:20:57I wasn't at Deauville last year, and neither were you.
00:20:59I beg your pardon?
00:21:00You can't speak to me like that.
00:21:01How dare you?
00:21:04I said I was at the races last summer.
00:21:07You weren't.
00:21:07I wasn't?
00:21:08No.
00:21:09Oh.
00:21:10Oh.
00:21:12Well, how do you know?
00:21:13I know everything about you.
00:21:14You're the Count de Regna.
00:21:15You're a bank clerk.
00:21:16Paris branch of the New York discount bank.
00:21:18You get 2,000 francs a month, and you're not worth it.
00:21:21You work in room six at the desk by the window, and you spend most of your time looking out
00:21:24the window.
00:21:25Are you a detective?
00:21:26No, I own the bank.
00:21:28Mr. Brandon.
00:21:30It's my boss.
00:21:31It'd not be too rough with him.
00:21:33Well, I don't know.
00:21:35At your service, Mr. Brandon.
00:21:36What are you doing down the Riviera, anyway, when your vacation was over last Friday?
00:21:39Oh, was it?
00:21:40It's amazing how time flies, isn't it?
00:21:42Since you're here, you might as well act as my secretary.
00:21:44Yes, sir.
00:21:45Take a letter.
00:21:46Yes, sir.
00:21:47Museum of Fine Arts, Hannibal, Michigan.
00:21:50That's my hometown.
00:21:52Gentlemen, within the next few days, I am shipping you the bathtub of Louis XIV.
00:21:56You bought it?
00:21:57As soon as I saw your father's pants.
00:21:59They tell me set bathtub is genuine.
00:22:01I can't guarantee this, because I wasn't around when Louis was bailing.
00:22:04But in any case, it costs plenty.
00:22:06Yours truly, and so forth.
00:22:08Go to room 307.
00:22:09Type that and wait for me.
00:22:10Here's the key.
00:22:11Yes, sir.
00:22:11Sorry, Nicole.
00:22:13I understand.
00:22:17Still crazy about me?
00:22:19Oh, it would be hard to resist a matter of your natural charm and finesse, Mr. Brandon.
00:22:23I love the delicate way you talk to your employees and still indicate that you're not quite pleased.
00:22:28with them.
00:22:29You seem to be a man full of innuendos.
00:22:31I just try to make myself clear.
00:22:33Are you staying here long?
00:22:35Well, you never can tell.
00:22:37You know, I'm pretty glad I came to the Riviera.
00:22:39Oh, yes.
00:22:39It's a lovely place.
00:22:40Beautiful.
00:22:41But the class of people who come here gets worse every year.
00:22:45And this year, we seem to have next year's crowd already.
00:22:49It's been interesting to meet you, Mr. Brandon.
00:23:20Thank you, Mr. Independent.
00:23:36No, no, no, no.
00:23:51It's not a consequence.
00:23:51I was in Czechoslovakia.
00:23:52Didn't it work?
00:23:54Debate matters worse.
00:23:55It reminded me of you.
00:23:56I never shut an eye.
00:23:57I couldn't get you out of my mind a couple more nights like that and I'd be a nervous wreck.
00:24:01I'm in a bad way.
00:24:02You know, I'm crazy about you.
00:24:04Why poor Mr. Brandon.
00:24:06It's no joke.
00:24:07The minute I saw you in that store, I said to myself, there's the girl I'm going to marry.
00:24:11Does that seem kind of sudden?
00:24:12Oh, no, no.
00:24:13A man in your position can't waste time.
00:24:15I believe in snap judgments.
00:24:16That's the foundation of my business and the secret of my success.
00:24:19I act on the spur of the moment.
00:24:20I act on impulse.
00:24:21Now, Mr. Brandon, don't be too spontaneous.
00:24:24I hate overtures.
00:24:25Lovemaking is the red tape of marriage.
00:24:27It doesn't get you anywhere.
00:24:28I could take you out for three months
00:24:30and send you flowers and all that flapdoodle
00:24:32and I wouldn't know any more about you than I do right now.
00:24:34It's only after the marriage that you find out.
00:24:36I bet you've got the wrong girl.
00:24:38Or the right one.
00:24:39Love and business is just the same.
00:24:40You have to gamble.
00:24:41You have to take chances.
00:24:42Only yesterday I took a chance in oil.
00:24:44How is oil?
00:24:45Fine. Went up five points.
00:24:46How's steel?
00:24:47Not so good.
00:24:48Say, are you interested in finance?
00:24:51I should say I am.
00:24:53Gee, that's swell.
00:24:54We're going to have a great time.
00:24:55Yes.
00:24:57What do you say?
00:24:58Pardon me, Mr. Brandon.
00:25:00Was it yours very truly or very truly yours?
00:25:02Make it sincerely.
00:25:04Yes, sir.
00:25:07Now, where were we?
00:25:08On the stock market.
00:25:09Oh, stop kidding.
00:25:10I'm asking you to marry me, seriously.
00:25:13Oh, let's not be too hasty, Mr. Brandon.
00:25:15Don't you want to know a little something more about me?
00:25:17Ask me a few questions before you definitely make up your mind.
00:25:20No.
00:25:20Not even how I feel about this matter?
00:25:23Well, I have...
00:25:24Oh, no.
00:25:25Perhaps that doesn't occur to a man with 50 million dollars.
00:25:28I haven't 50 million dollars.
00:25:30You haven't 50 million dollars?
00:25:32Not quite.
00:25:33Oh, well, Mr. Brandon.
00:25:36A man with your manners can't possibly afford to have less than 50 million dollars.
00:25:40You're behaving beyond your income.
00:25:42I'll make the rest of it if you say so.
00:25:43I'm sure you will.
00:25:45Any morning before breakfast.
00:25:47Mr. Brandon, you're terrific.
00:25:48You're...
00:25:49You're gigantic.
00:25:50You're...
00:25:50You're breathtaking.
00:25:51I wish someone would tell you what I really think of you.
00:26:22I wish someone would tell you what I really think of you.
00:26:25Come in.
00:26:34What'd you do, Mr. Brandon?
00:26:36Hello, Albert.
00:26:37Oh.
00:26:41Don't you feel well, sir?
00:26:42Is there anything I can do for you?
00:26:44I'm all shot to pieces.
00:26:45I can't sleep anymore.
00:26:46Well, about that letter, Mr. Brandon, to the Museum of Fine Arts.
00:26:50Albert, if you want to keep your job with me, don't you ever remind me of it.
00:26:54Never mention the Marquis or that daughter of his.
00:26:56No, sir.
00:26:56Lay off a pajama pants.
00:26:58Yes, sir.
00:26:58I don't want to hear any more about the Riviera.
00:27:00No, sir.
00:27:00Don't speak to me about France and keep away from Czechoslovakia.
00:27:04But if it meets your approval, sir, I won't say anything.
00:27:08Albert, you're a very sweet guy.
00:27:10I forget.
00:27:11How much salary do you get?
00:27:112,000 francs a month.
00:27:14Well, that's enough.
00:27:15I shouldn't have come to the Riviera in the first place.
00:27:17Now, don't talk about it anymore.
00:27:18I want to forget the whole darn business.
00:27:22What's that?
00:27:23The bathtub, sir.
00:27:24The what?
00:27:25The bathtub of Louis XIV.
00:27:27To say no to a man like that, a man who wasn't even hit by the Depression.
00:27:32I counted on it.
00:27:33I know you did.
00:27:34Well, what are we going to do now?
00:27:36I thought we'd have all the money in the world, so I bought a few little things.
00:27:39I had to have several new suits.
00:27:41We needed a new car, Nicole.
00:27:43And I've always wanted to have a bigger table.
00:27:45Now, Father, you're going to cancel everything you bought.
00:27:48Oh, not everything.
00:27:49I still have my 60,000 francs.
00:27:51What 60,000 francs?
00:27:53The check for the bathtub.
00:27:55Give me that check.
00:27:56He bought it.
00:27:57He didn't want that bathtub.
00:27:59That check is his down payment on me.
00:28:01That's not true, Nicole.
00:28:02He insisted upon buying it.
00:28:04He's crazy about that bathtub.
00:28:07Come in.
00:28:14Is there any message?
00:28:15Yes.
00:28:16Mr. Brennan said that you are...
00:28:17Maurice, why make an enemy?
00:28:20Oh, all right.
00:28:21Leave it here in the ante room.
00:28:26Give me that check.
00:28:27What?
00:28:28Oh, but the family, Nicole.
00:28:30I promised to pay all their hotel bills.
00:28:32What hotel bills?
00:28:33I telephoned Paris and asked them all down for the announcement of your engagement.
00:28:36Well, you call them up this minute and tell them not to come.
00:28:39Oh, Nicole, you know the family.
00:28:40With their expenses paid, they're on the train by now.
00:28:43Oh, give me that check.
00:28:45Oh, well, I...
00:28:55Come in.
00:28:59Hello.
00:28:59I imagine you're surprised to see me.
00:29:02Not at all.
00:29:02I expected to.
00:29:04Oh, you did?
00:29:05Sure.
00:29:06Well, you see, I've changed my mind about you.
00:29:09I knew you would.
00:29:10I thought you were a good businessman.
00:29:12What's that?
00:29:13Here's the check, Mr. Brandon.
00:29:15And let this be a lesson to you.
00:29:16Never buy a saddle on a chance that the horse will be thrown in.
00:29:19Now, look here, I don't want you to get the wrong impression of me.
00:29:22I never renege on a deal.
00:29:23But in this case, it so happens that it...
00:29:25Oh, don't worry.
00:29:26We release you.
00:29:28What do you mean you release me?
00:29:29You haven't got a leg to stand on legally.
00:29:33Now, look here, Mr. Brandon.
00:29:35I came here in the most friendly spirit.
00:29:37Yes, you did.
00:29:38But that was a closed deal.
00:29:40You bought a bathtub.
00:29:42And I got a wash basin.
00:29:43Why don't you call an expert?
00:29:45All right, let's get the plumber.
00:29:47Mr. Brandon, I know nothing whatsoever about your education.
00:29:51But King Louis XIV...
00:29:52By the way, have you any idea when Louis XIV reigned?
00:29:58Well, from...
00:29:58I think, um, uh, to, uh...
00:30:01Why did I tell you it's a wash basin?
00:30:03I warn you, Mr. Brandon,
00:30:05if you question our business ethics,
00:30:06we'll force you to go through with the deal.
00:30:08You're practically claiming that we've sold you something
00:30:10into false pretenses.
00:30:12You bought a wash basin.
00:30:13I mean a bathtub.
00:30:14No, you don't.
00:30:15You mean a wash basin.
00:30:15Give me that check.
00:30:16Give me that check.
00:31:13Say, what kind of a hotel is this, anyway?
00:31:15The shower doesn't work,
00:31:16the bathtub's out, I killed her, and...
00:31:19Well, connect me with the head mechanic.
00:31:25Never mind.
00:31:48Take a letter.
00:31:51Yes, sir.
00:31:55Dear Mademoiselle Nicole,
00:31:58You were right, you were right, and I was wrong.
00:32:00It can be done.
00:32:02So, uh, please let me apologize from the bottom of your bathtub.
00:32:06From the bottom of your bathtub.
00:32:09Whether the darn thing is too short, or I am too long,
00:32:13there's a question I would like to discuss with you at dinner.
00:32:17I'm sure that this more formal approach will meet with your approval, so shall we say 8.30 tonight.
00:32:23L-E-A...
00:32:31I remain sincerely yours, Michael Brandon.
00:32:33I'll sign it later.
00:32:35It was a wash basin.
00:32:38It was a wash basin.
00:32:43It was a wash basin.
00:33:08It was a wash basin.
00:33:081643 to 1715.
00:33:10What?
00:33:11Louis the 14th.
00:33:13You looked it up.
00:33:14Born September the 5th, 1638.
00:33:16Came to the throne at the age of 5.
00:33:18Won the battle of Steenkirk in 1692.
00:33:20Got mixed up with Madame du Barry.
00:33:22Died at 4 o'clock in the afternoon on Friday May the 10th.
00:33:26Of smallpox.
00:33:27Well, that's sweet of you.
00:33:30Michael.
00:33:31Yes, Nicole.
00:33:3495 to 97 and a half.
00:33:36What?
00:33:37Oil.
00:33:38It went up 2 and a half points.
00:33:40I'm so glad.
00:33:41Oh, I've never been happier in my life.
00:33:43And not on account of those 2 and a half points.
00:33:45Oh, wait a minute.
00:33:47Louis the 14th didn't die of smallpox.
00:33:49That was Louis the 15th.
00:33:51Oh.
00:33:52Well, I must have skipped a page.
00:33:54Forgive me?
00:33:55Oh, you know, when I saw you first...
00:33:59Do you mind if I skip a few pages?
00:34:01No.
00:34:02I'm crazy about you.
00:34:17Très bien.
00:34:18Très bien.
00:34:23Madame et Monsieur.
00:34:24We are ready for the photograph.
00:34:32When is this wedding going to be?
00:34:34In two weeks.
00:34:35You'll get your money.
00:34:36I'm surprised to say I rather like you, Michael.
00:34:39Thank you, Grandmother.
00:34:41Michael.
00:34:42Don't call her Grandmother.
00:34:44That's Aunt Edwiese, the head of the family.
00:34:46If she had said no to our engagement,
00:34:49I still would marry you.
00:34:52And when you talk to my uncle from Vienna...
00:34:55Oh, I know.
00:34:55I should say Your Highness.
00:34:56No, that's not necessary.
00:34:58Just call him Uncle August.
00:34:59But never say to an Archduke,
00:35:01Hey, Archie.
00:35:02You just give me time.
00:35:04I'll learn.
00:35:08Haven't worn this suit for quite a while.
00:35:10What's that?
00:35:11Rice.
00:35:13Rice?
00:35:15Sure.
00:35:15Don't you use it over here?
00:35:16Well, of course we do.
00:35:18For puddings.
00:35:19No, we use it for weddings.
00:35:20You throw it at the bride and groom.
00:35:21For luck.
00:35:23Did it bring them luck?
00:35:25Well, we had a pleasant six months.
00:35:28What?
00:35:30You...
00:35:31Smile, everybody.
00:35:33Smile, please.
00:35:35That's fine.
00:35:38One, two...
00:35:39Just a moment.
00:35:41We'll be right back.
00:35:42Come, Michael.
00:35:43Michael just wants to tell me something.
00:35:53Michael.
00:35:55You've been married?
00:35:56Yes, but that's all right.
00:35:57My decree's final.
00:35:58Do you mind?
00:36:00No, I suppose not.
00:36:02I thought you knew.
00:36:04You didn't tell me.
00:36:06Don't you read the American newspapers?
00:36:07It was front page stuff.
00:36:08I thought your father was very well informed about me.
00:36:11Oh.
00:36:12He only knows about your bank account.
00:36:15And all I know about you is...
00:36:17I liked you in a department store.
00:36:19I hated you on a float.
00:36:21And I fell in love with you over a bathtub.
00:36:24Darling.
00:36:27Oh.
00:36:29Oh, darling.
00:36:37What was her name?
00:36:39Marjorie.
00:36:40I called her Mug.
00:36:41Why did you divorce?
00:36:43Oh, well, um...
00:36:45Did she do something wrong?
00:36:46No, no.
00:36:47She was a little jealous.
00:36:48But there was no reason.
00:36:49I told her I was crazy about Linda.
00:36:51Linda?
00:36:52Yes, Linda.
00:36:54Then why didn't you marry Linda?
00:36:56I did.
00:36:58Oh.
00:37:00Oh, no.
00:37:01Wait.
00:37:01Let me get this straight.
00:37:03You...
00:37:03You divorced Marjorie because she was jealous of Linda,
00:37:07and you divorced Linda on account of Marjorie.
00:37:10No, no.
00:37:10You got it all wrong.
00:37:11You see, I knew Marjorie long before I met Linda.
00:37:13Yes.
00:37:14And I was going to marry Marjorie when Elsie popped up.
00:37:17Huh?
00:37:17And Elsie...
00:37:18Oh, no.
00:37:19Am I boring you?
00:37:20Oh, no, no, no.
00:37:22No.
00:37:23It's all very interesting.
00:37:24I like to get your point of view.
00:37:27You...
00:37:27You see, to me, this is a very important step.
00:37:30I happen to believe in marriage.
00:37:32So do I.
00:37:33Uh, where were we?
00:37:36Elsie just popped up.
00:37:38Oh.
00:37:39Say, this may take some time.
00:37:40We'd better go and have the picture taken.
00:37:43Michael, in one word, how many times have you been married?
00:37:47Well, uh, you heard about Henry VIII.
00:37:51You mean six times?
00:37:53No, seven.
00:37:56Well, you do believe in marriage.
00:37:59Seven marriages and seven divorces.
00:38:02Only six.
00:38:03One died.
00:38:04I beg your pardon?
00:38:05A natural death.
00:38:07Oh.
00:38:08Well, uh, should we get the picture over with?
00:38:11Get it over with?
00:38:12You mean just like a marriage?
00:38:14Say, you're taking this whole thing too seriously.
00:38:17Oh, no.
00:38:19No, I'm just being practical.
00:38:22You see, today if I'm walking on the street and someone calls Mademoiselle Deloiselle,
00:38:26at least I know that's I.
00:38:28But if someone calls Mrs. Brandon, it might cause a traffic jam.
00:38:32And ten years from now, if you continue like this, I might be trampled to death.
00:38:37I'm just too much of a coward.
00:38:39No, Michael.
00:38:42No, Michael.
00:38:48Thank you.
00:38:49Thanks, Michael.
00:38:54Ah!
00:38:56Ha!
00:39:00What's the matter?
00:39:01It's a fainting spell.
00:39:08Everyone out.
00:39:11Out, out, out, everyone out, at once.
00:39:14Where is this, Mr. Brandon? Where is this, Mr. Brandon?
00:39:21Young man, we've been humiliated quite enough.
00:39:23Now, just a minute.
00:39:24Don't interrupt me.
00:39:25I'm speaking as the head of the family de la Loiselle de la Vertignée de la Courtoisie,
00:39:29including the branch of the Forcignac de Gasconi,
00:39:31and I suggest that you take your hat and leave.
00:39:34Get out of here!
00:39:36Oh, getting tough, huh?
00:39:37I'm not afraid of you. Do you know what you are?
00:39:41Now look here, Grandmother.
00:39:42Don't call her Grandmother. I told you.
00:39:44And don't you call her...
00:39:45Well, anyhow, be careful.
00:39:47And stop screaming at each other.
00:39:49If you want to quarrel, go somewhere else.
00:39:53Michael.
00:39:56Yes, Aunt Adwish.
00:39:58You're the lowest human being I ever met.
00:40:01Is that so?
00:40:02I never realized the depths to which depravity could sink.
00:40:06So I'm depraved, am I?
00:40:08Well, what's a man gonna do when he falls in love with a girl?
00:40:11Why marry her and stay married?
00:40:13And if he finds he's made a mistake?
00:40:15Carry on behind her back, lie, make excuses? Not me.
00:40:18I think that's immoral.
00:40:20Besides, I'm too busy.
00:40:21And how about your poor wives?
00:40:23They're much better than before I married them.
00:40:25Financially, I suppose.
00:40:27You mean financially?
00:40:28Exactly.
00:40:29Keep quiet, Father.
00:40:30You see, I make a clean cut pre-marriage settlement.
00:40:33Pre-marriage settlement?
00:40:34Oh, that's so romantic of you, Michael.
00:40:36Well, I try to be fair.
00:40:38And in case of divorce, she gets...
00:40:40We're not interested in your money.
00:40:42Well, $50,000 a year for life isn't to be laughed at.
00:40:45We're discussing a matter of the human heart.
00:40:47What's $50,000?
00:40:49Yes.
00:40:49What's $50,000?
00:40:51Why?
00:40:52That's a million francs.
00:40:54From government bonds.
00:40:55You mean tax-free?
00:40:57Father, I want you to keep out of this.
00:40:59Achille de Loiselle,
00:41:00if you let financial considerations influence you for a moment.
00:41:03Why shouldn't we consider this proposition?
00:41:05From all angles.
00:41:06Are you a father or an auctioneer?
00:41:08I defy anyone to question my motives in this matter.
00:41:11Then you defy me.
00:41:12I forbid this marriage, absolutely and unconditionally.
00:41:15I've had enough of your tyranny.
00:41:16Aunt Edwige, if you oppose this marriage...
00:41:19Will you be quiet, both of you?
00:41:21After all, it's my life that's being decided.
00:41:23And will you stop walking?
00:41:27I'll make my own decision.
00:41:29Now look here, Michael Brandon.
00:41:31You think that all you have to do is waive a check...
00:41:33and no woman can resist you.
00:41:34But let me tell you something.
00:41:36There are still women in this world who have other standards.
00:41:39I refuse your $50,000.
00:41:41Bravo!
00:41:42I want $100,000.
00:41:44Bravo!
00:41:45Nicole!
00:41:47What's that?
00:41:47$100,000?
00:41:49$100,000 guaranteed in the marriage contract...
00:41:52and I'm Mrs. Michael Brandon.
00:41:53You can leave me whenever you wish.
00:41:55Oh, that'll never be, I hope.
00:41:56Oh, that's very gallant, Michael.
00:41:58But it's $100,000 just the same.
00:42:02Well, that's quite a jump.
00:42:04Make up your mind, Michael.
00:42:05Think fast.
00:42:06If you wait much longer, it'll be $150,000.
00:42:08My price goes up every minute.
00:42:10Oh.
00:42:12Well, Nicole, you got me on the spot.
00:42:14I'm so crazy about you...
00:42:16Don't rush, my dear boy.
00:42:17Take your time.
00:42:18It's a deal.
00:42:18It's a bargain.
00:42:19It's a scandal.
00:42:24Oh,faber?
00:42:27Goodbye.
00:42:27I'll put you to the right, dear.
00:42:29Yes, I will.
00:42:30Goodbye, dear.
00:42:36Au revoir, dear.
00:42:38No, no, no, no.
00:43:02No, no, no, no, no.
00:43:24No, no, no, no.
00:43:56No, no, no.
00:44:30No, no, no, no.
00:44:40By the way, may I offer my congratulations?
00:44:42On what?
00:44:43Well, you got married.
00:44:44Oh, yes, thank you.
00:44:46You're very happy, I suppose.
00:44:48Sure I am.
00:44:49Don't I look happy?
00:44:50Oh, yes, very happy.
00:44:52Anybody said anything?
00:44:54Oh, no, no, no.
00:44:55Now, look here.
00:44:56No more cracks out of you.
00:45:13Here, madame.
00:45:14Thank you.
00:45:14Will you charge it to me, please?
00:45:15Very well, madame Brunton.
00:45:21Hello, Michael.
00:45:23Hello.
00:45:24Are you by any chance buying books?
00:45:26Hmm.
00:45:27I thought you never read anything but the financial page.
00:45:31Doctor's orders.
00:45:32He thinks it'll quiet my nerves.
00:45:34Oh.
00:45:36Yes, monsieur?
00:45:37I want some books.
00:45:38I'd say about half a dozen.
00:45:40What sort, monsieur?
00:45:41A fiction?
00:45:41We have some very exciting new detective stories.
00:45:44No, no, nothing like that.
00:45:44I want something to quiet me down.
00:45:46Something to put me to sleep.
00:45:47Something to put you to sleep.
00:45:49Oh, what you want are the classics.
00:45:51Yes, and put in one volume of poetry
00:45:53in case you need a quick nap.
00:45:55There's nothing like blank verse right after lunch.
00:45:57Very well.
00:45:58I'll make up a selection.
00:46:01If you'd be a little nicer to me,
00:46:02you wouldn't have to buy all those books.
00:46:04How about it?
00:46:05Michael, I have no gift of prophecy,
00:46:07but I see you ending up with a library.
00:46:09Now, why don't you try to be reasonable, Nicole?
00:46:11Let's not quarrel again.
00:46:13We've fought all over Europe.
00:46:15You've presented your arguments
00:46:16in every historical spot.
00:46:19The pigeons in Venice are still frightened.
00:46:22Will you glance over them, monsieur?
00:46:23No, that's all right.
00:46:24You don't need to wrap them.
00:46:25Charge them to me.
00:46:26Very well, madame Brandon.
00:46:44You'd be a little nicer to me.
00:46:45You... books.
00:46:51Well?
00:46:52It was a pleasure to run into you, Michael.
00:46:54Oh, by the way,
00:46:54you've done over your boudoir, haven't you?
00:46:56Yes, it's all in turquoise, blue, and silver.
00:46:58Oh, it's really quite stunning.
00:46:59What about that green carpet, though?
00:47:01What, green and blue are charming to get...
00:47:03and you've done over your boudoir?
00:47:03How did you know?
00:47:05Well, your maid told my valet.
00:47:06They're very friendly.
00:47:07That sometimes happens,
00:47:08even when people live in the same apartment.
00:47:11Yes, I think we're very lucky
00:47:13with most of our servants, don't you?
00:47:14Well, you bet.
00:47:15The new cook's fine.
00:47:16Really?
00:47:17I'm hardly in a position to tell.
00:47:18I've eaten here so little.
00:47:20Oh, yes.
00:47:21I see by the papers
00:47:22you've been stepping out a lot lately.
00:47:23Yes, quite a bit.
00:47:25Having a good time?
00:47:26Oh, it's wonderful
00:47:27not to be under parental control anymore.
00:47:29That's what I love about marriage.
00:47:31How's your father?
00:47:32Fine.
00:47:33The rest of the family?
00:47:34Fine, thank you.
00:47:35How's your business?
00:47:36Okay.
00:47:37Anything else new?
00:47:38No, nothing I know about.
00:47:41Well, goodbye.
00:47:42Hope I run into you again sometime.
00:47:44Goodbye, Michael.
00:47:47Oh, Michael,
00:47:48if you have any complaints
00:47:49about the household or the service,
00:47:51just drop me a note.
00:47:52and in case anything of importance
00:47:54comes up and you have to see me,
00:47:55it's perfectly all right.
00:47:57Just give me a warning.
00:48:11Hey, you.
00:48:13Come here.
00:48:19Are you Mrs. Brandon's new chauffeur?
00:48:21No.
00:48:21Oh, you don't have to hide it from me.
00:48:22I'm quitting the job anyhow.
00:48:24But let me tell you something.
00:48:25Don't take it.
00:48:26You never get home
00:48:27before three o'clock
00:48:27in the morning.
00:48:28and see you then.
00:48:58Okay.
00:49:07Grazie a tutti.
00:49:43Grazie a tutti.
00:50:16Grazie a tutti.
00:50:45Grazie a tutti.
00:51:01Grazie a tutti.
00:51:04Michael, don't do that.
00:51:06Stop it.
00:53:06Michael, let me warn you, the Russians are dancing three ballets tonight.
00:53:10Cupid and Psyche, a toy shop in old Moscow, and the glowworm's birthday.
00:53:16I'll behave.
00:53:25What's the matter?
00:53:27Do you smell something?
00:53:29No.
00:53:30No.
00:53:31There must be onions around here.
00:53:33Oh, yes, right there.
00:53:36Onions!
00:53:36That darn fool knows I can't be in the same room with onions!
00:53:39Michael!
00:53:39Michael, be calm.
00:53:40I can meet this crisis.
00:53:46That's very nice of you.
00:53:47It's all right.
00:54:01Oh, no.
00:54:03Oh, no.
00:54:03No champagne.
00:54:03The cocktail was quite strong enough.
00:54:07Now, let's keep the conversation very impersonal so there won't be the slightest temptation to quarrel.
00:54:12All right.
00:54:13Any subject you want.
00:54:14All the choice is entirely yours, Michael.
00:54:16Art, music, history, the League of Nations, anything that doesn't interest you.
00:54:21Fine.
00:54:21I'll make it as dull as I can.
00:54:22Thank you.
00:54:23And here's to you.
00:54:361643 to 1715.
00:54:391643 to 1715?
00:54:41Louis XIV.
00:54:43Won the Battle of Steenkirk in 1692.
00:54:46Got mixed up with Madame Du Barry.
00:54:48Michael?
00:54:50Well, that's history, isn't it?
00:54:51It's a sad chapter.
00:54:54Mm!
00:54:55Oh, this caviar is salty!
00:55:05Oh, speaking of music, do you remember the waltz they were playing when King Louis died of smallpox?
00:55:11I don't remember any waltz.
00:55:13And after the King died, oil went up two and a half points.
00:55:18I don't remember any waltz.
00:55:20I'll play it for you.
00:55:29I don't suppose you'd be interested in a purely impersonal dance.
00:55:32Michael, the price light starts at 8.30.
00:55:35Oh, what if we do miss a preliminary?
00:55:38All right.
00:55:39But let me warn you.
00:55:41Don't make this a preliminary.
00:55:55Michael, I warn you.
00:56:09Oh, that caviar was so salty.
00:56:12Looky, looky, looky, here comes Cookie, walking down the street.
00:56:17Looky, looky, looky, I call her Cookie, cause she's sweet.
00:56:22Oh, Michael, you're making me cry.
00:56:25Oh, that's not fair.
00:56:28Looky, looky, looky, I call her Cookie, cause she takes the cake.
00:56:32Oh, in the department store, that's where I met you.
00:56:36Yes, you call me the Stripey type.
00:56:38Oh, and I've met every stripe of it.
00:56:40Oh, I could have taken you in my arms and kissed you right then and there.
00:56:44Looky, looky, looky, here comes Cookie.
00:56:47Gotta fix my tie.
00:56:49But, Michael, you look so different.
00:56:52I don't understand that you don't look like a multimillionaire anymore.
00:56:55You look like a man with a hundred thousand dollars or even less.
00:57:00Oh, no, Michael, no, no, Michael, no.
00:57:03You promised me, Michael.
00:57:07No, no, you promised me.
00:57:09Oh, no, no, Michael, no, let me go, Michael.
00:57:12You don't want me to, you're just pretending.
00:57:14No, Michael, between you and me there's a whole world of seven wives.
00:57:19Stop being jealous.
00:57:19I tell you I've forgotten they exist.
00:57:21Oh, that's just it.
00:57:22You buy wives just like shirts and after you want them you toss them away.
00:57:29Don't talk yourself into a laundry complex.
00:57:33Nicole.
00:57:35No, Michael.
00:57:36No, Michael.
00:57:38No, no, don't do that, Michael.
00:57:40Oh, Nicole, be sensible.
00:57:42I mean, don't be sensible.
00:57:44Don't hide your emotions.
00:57:45Oh, Michael.
00:57:47Oh, why did I eat that caveat?
00:57:50You're nothing but a silly little thing.
00:57:53How can a girl be so foolish?
00:57:55Why aren't you nice to me?
00:57:56Nicole.
00:57:57Please, Nicole.
00:58:00You love me.
00:58:01I can tell it.
00:58:02You're trembling in my arm.
00:58:04Oh, tell me you love me.
00:58:05Say it.
00:58:07You're my wife, Nicole.
00:58:08Michael.
00:58:09Yes?
00:58:11Kiss me.
00:58:15What's that?
00:58:16Kiss me, Michael.
00:58:18Kiss me.
00:58:19Oh, so you want me to kiss you, eh?
00:58:23Well, not so quick, young lady.
00:58:25You kept me waiting.
00:58:26Huh, so you thought you could master Michael Brandon, eh?
00:58:29Kiss me.
00:58:31Oh, what does a nice girl say, eh?
00:58:33Please.
00:58:34Please.
00:58:35That's better.
00:58:36If you're gonna talk to me like that.
00:58:38Okay.
00:58:51You animal.
00:58:52You double-crossing animal.
00:58:54Just one little trick after another.
00:58:56You've cheated the life out of me, you've bitten me, and now this.
00:58:58Why don't I...
00:59:00Oh.
00:59:06Well, now let's try to be calm.
00:59:08Let's behave like human beings.
00:59:10Now look.
00:59:12Now look here, Nicole.
00:59:14I married you.
00:59:14No, you didn't.
00:59:15You bought me.
00:59:16Well, then fulfill your contract.
00:59:18Oh, Michael.
00:59:19Now you're Mr. Brandon again, the multi-millionaire.
00:59:22Oh, cut it out.
00:59:22You can't be so stupid as to believe that I made a contract which guarantees you 50,000...
00:59:27No, 100,000.
00:59:28Well, you're not going to get a cent of it.
00:59:30Oh, no.
00:59:31Of course not.
00:59:32Not before the divorce.
00:59:33I knew that's what you were driving at.
00:59:35From the minute we signed the marriage license.
00:59:37And do you think that's honest?
00:59:39No, but it's good business.
00:59:41Do you know...
00:59:42Careful.
00:59:44Do you know what we call people like you in America?
00:59:47Crooks.
00:59:48You mean crooks?
00:59:49I mean crooks!
00:59:51That's exactly what we call them in France.
00:59:55Michael, I'm your worst investment.
00:59:57But I don't pay any dividends and I'm proud of it.
01:00:00That's robbery!
01:00:01It's a swindle!
01:00:03Oh, it's a hold-up.
01:00:06You're much too rich, Michael.
01:00:09Oh, I'm gonna list up some of that money.
01:00:11If you want a divorce, Nicole, you're going about it the wrong way.
01:00:14Oh, really?
01:00:15You don't understand my fundamental characteristic.
01:00:18It's tenacity.
01:00:19I'm tenacious.
01:00:20That's why I'm where I am today.
01:00:22Where's that, Michael?
01:00:24Well, it's...
01:00:25The more trouble a thing gives me, the harder I fight for it.
01:00:27If I let the word failure creep into my vocabulary just once, I'm lost.
01:00:31And as long as you treat me as you do, I'll give up eating and drinking, but I won't let
01:00:35you go.
01:00:36Well, I'm afraid we're tied together for life.
01:00:38If necessary, I can always hang on a half hour longer than you.
01:00:41Oh, it promises to be quite a fight, Michael.
01:00:43And remember, my nerves are made of iron.
01:00:45I fought Canadian tin single-handed and left them yelling for help.
01:00:48Oh, but I won't be fair.
01:00:51I'll knife you in the back.
01:00:53I'll kick, I'll bite, I'll scratch.
01:00:56I'll fight you with every vegetable at my disposal.
01:01:02Is it possible to talk to you quietly?
01:01:04Yes.
01:01:04Now listen, you want a divorce as soon as possible.
01:01:07Yes.
01:01:07Let me give you a tip.
01:01:09Stop keeping me at a distance.
01:01:10Be nice to me, and in three weeks, I'll probably beg you on my knees to give me a divorce.
01:01:15Oh, that's very tempting, Mike.
01:01:17Oh, that wouldn't be fair to my future husband.
01:01:20Your future husband?
01:01:22Well, naturally, I'm going to marry again someday.
01:01:27A woman can't take care of a hundred thousand dollars a year all alone.
01:01:33Why don't I take you right here and crush you like a matchbox?
01:01:36What's preventing me?
01:01:37These walls are pretty thick.
01:01:38We'll settle this.
01:01:39Oh.
01:01:41Oh.
01:01:44Oh.
01:02:00Elysee, 34530.
01:02:03Hello, Pepinard and Pepinard.
01:02:05This is Mr. Brandon speaking. I'm still waiting for Mr. Pepinard.
01:02:09You left ten minutes ago. Well, you told me that a half an hour ago.
01:02:16Nicolle.
01:02:17Hello, Albert.
01:02:18You wouldn't mind giving a poor bank clerk a lift?
01:02:20Oh, come right in.
01:02:26They say at the bank that your husband's going to Brussels.
01:02:29Yes, this afternoon.
01:02:31Well, Brussels is 400 kilometres from Paris.
01:02:34Why, Albert, you're an atlas.
01:02:38Well, if he takes the afternoon train, he can't possibly catch the night train,
01:02:41which leaves there at 12.45 for Paris.
01:02:42Yes.
01:02:43You're a timetable, too.
01:02:46Oh, Nicolle, don't you see what I'm driving at?
01:02:48No.
01:02:49Oh.
01:02:52Nicolle.
01:02:53Yes, Albert?
01:02:55Well...
01:02:58Now, look here, Albert.
01:03:00Even if my husband went to China, which is 10,000 kilometres away,
01:03:04it still wouldn't do you any good to...
01:03:09I've told you so a dozen times.
01:03:29Oh, hello.
01:03:31Hello.
01:03:32Oh, you've grown a moustache.
01:03:34Mm-hmm.
01:03:37Mm-hmm.
01:03:39Mm-hmm.
01:03:42Mm.
01:03:45Mm.
01:03:47Mm.
01:03:52Mm.
01:03:54Mm.
01:04:16Sì, Sì, Sì.
01:04:20you're a fine detective monsieur pepinard
01:04:22please mr pranton don't use the word detective
01:04:24i told the bottle i'm your doctor
01:04:26listen i'm in a hurry i've got to catch a train to brussels
01:04:28what did you find out about my wife
01:04:29mr pranton your wife's conduct leaves nothing to be desired
01:04:32there is no other man i can guarantee it
01:04:34how about those anonymous letters
01:04:35you know who writes those letters
01:04:37who miss sass pranton herself
01:04:39i don't believe it have you any proof
01:04:40sure please
01:04:42here it is
01:04:43same handwriting as the others
01:04:45i saw mrs pranton deposit this letter in the mailbox
01:04:47this morning at 11 18. mr michael brandon hotel metropole brussels
01:04:51intended to greet you upon your arrival at brussels
01:04:53how did you get this letter mr pranton the letter is here
01:04:56how i got it let that remain a secret between me and the mailbox
01:05:01mr brandon tonight at your business conference when you're trying to put
01:05:04something over on your associates in brussels your wife will be putting
01:05:07something over on you too bad you didn't stay at home a friend
01:05:09perfectly simple neglected wife wants to make husband jealous
01:05:13jealous nothing she wants a divorce she wants to shake my nerves to pieces so i
01:05:16i can't attend to my business anymore
01:05:18ha but i'm going to fool her
01:05:19i'll go to brussels all right that's what i'll tell her only i'm not going i'm coming
01:05:24back unexpectedly in the middle of the night and surprise her with this mysterious mr x
01:05:27but there is no mr x that's just it i'm gonna laugh at her i'm gonna have some fun
01:05:31huh and will she be embarrassed i'm gonna make her feel that small
01:05:35that's very small mr pranton i'm gonna cure that young lady
01:05:39thank you very much mr pepinard goodbye
01:05:40au revoir mr pranton oh by the way my wife doesn't suspect that you followed her
01:05:44she doesn't even know that i exist don't forget pepinard and pepinard is a first class firm
01:05:48you will find that out when you get our bill
01:05:52don't worry mr pranton there is nothing wrong with your kidneys
01:05:55au revoir goodbye
01:06:06goodbye
01:06:06au revoir monsieur pepinard
01:06:08au revoir madame au revoir
01:06:17come in
01:06:20you must have mistaken me for someone else
01:06:22sit down monsieur pepinard sit down
01:06:24you followed me monsieur pepinard so i followed you you live at 110 rue de regard a nice apartment
01:06:31but it doesn't get much sun but please madame i know that doesn't mean much to you but don't
01:06:37forget monsieur pepinard your wife has to stay home all day and she's such a pretty little woman
01:06:42oh thank you very much a little plump
01:06:46but it gives her a certain charm and what an engaging smile
01:06:51it's too bad she has such a vile temper
01:06:53hasn't she yet
01:06:54i can imagine what she's like in an argument
01:06:57oh no you can't
01:06:58you'd better be careful monsieur pepinard
01:07:00if she ever finds out that you're going around with that little sales girl from the delicatessen store on the
01:07:05corner
01:07:06oh
01:07:06who by the way is going around with someone else
01:07:09with whom
01:07:11what did you tell my husband
01:07:12you're asking too much madame please
01:07:15well if your wife finds out about the delicatessen store
01:07:18well madame
01:07:19in order to save my home i confess
01:07:21i told him everything
01:07:22he knows about the letters
01:07:24he knows there is no other man
01:07:25he's coming back unexpectedly tonight to surprise you
01:07:29and to laugh at you
01:07:30well maybe we can surprise mr brandon
01:07:33you're going to help me monsieur pepinard
01:07:35i need a man for tonight
01:07:36oh no not me
01:07:37when my husband comes back
01:07:39and he finds somebody here
01:07:40he won't laugh anymore
01:07:42but you must consider that mr brandon is a very strong man
01:07:44there is apt to be a terrible fight
01:07:46well then get me someone who can fight back
01:07:48i'll pay him five thousand francs and i won't tell on you
01:07:51very well then
01:07:53a prize fighter will be the best way out
01:07:55how much does your husband weigh
01:07:56i don't know him that well
01:07:57i'd better get a heavyweight
01:07:58yes have him here at ten o'clock
01:08:00and have him as well dressed as possible
01:08:02you can rely on me madame
01:08:04au revoir
01:08:05au revoir monsieur
01:08:22yes michael
01:08:22you shaved your mustache
01:08:25well goodbye nicole
01:08:26i'm starting for brussels
01:08:27oh i'd forgotten all about that
01:08:29how long will you be gone
01:08:30does that really interest you
01:08:32frankly no
01:08:33mm-hmm
01:08:34you think i'm pretty much of a fool don't you
01:08:36yes
01:08:43well goodbye nicole
01:08:44goodbye michael
01:09:06i'm kid mulligan
01:09:07oh yes
01:09:09i'm mrs brandon
01:09:11come in
01:09:18yes
01:09:19come in
01:09:24sit down
01:09:25thanks madame
01:09:27we may have to wait a little while
01:09:29oh that's all right
01:09:32you understand the situation i suppose
01:09:35yes madame
01:09:35i get the whole set up
01:09:37and i certainly appreciate this opportunity mrs brandon
01:09:39you don't know how tough it is for an american to get a fight in paris
01:09:42and i won't disappoint you
01:09:43i'm all steamed up and ready to go
01:09:46yes
01:09:47oh you know i don't want you to really hurt my husband
01:09:50oh i'll carry him along
01:09:51just keep away with a left jab
01:09:53a left jab
01:09:55what does that do exactly
01:09:56well i might spit his lip or cut his eye a little
01:09:58no
01:09:59well that sounds terrible
01:10:00you mustn't do that
01:10:01well i gotta defend myself
01:10:03oh
01:10:03of course
01:10:04oh but
01:10:06split and cut
01:10:07that sounds horrible
01:10:09couldn't you do something a little more civilized
01:10:11you know just pick him up and throw him in a corner
01:10:14oh no
01:10:15that's wrestling
01:10:16oh
01:10:17i'll tell you what
01:10:18why don't you let me knock him out
01:10:19knock him out
01:10:21oh for heaven's sake
01:10:22no
01:10:22oh all you people got the wrong idea about a knockout
01:10:24if you hit a guy in the right spot
01:10:26down he goes like a light
01:10:28no pain
01:10:29pain no
01:10:30you dream like a baby
01:10:31i can't believe it
01:10:33oh i'm speaking from experience
01:10:34have you been knocked out
01:10:36plenty
01:10:36and believe me there's nothing like it
01:10:38ah what a sensation
01:10:40once i hit the canvas with a bang
01:10:42and the next minute
01:10:43there i was in a japanese garden
01:10:45with them pink cherry blossoms
01:10:47another time i was floating over constantinople
01:10:50i tell you you get to see countries you otherwise couldn't afford to visit
01:10:54it sounds perfectly wonderful
01:10:57and the time i fought battleship mccarty
01:10:59boy i'll never forget that second round
01:11:01now i ask you mrs brandon
01:11:02where is there another racket where a man of my weight can feel like a flying fish
01:11:07all right then do it
01:11:10no don't do it
01:11:11it's too good for him
01:11:12oh come on mrs brandon
01:11:14don't be so hard-boiled
01:11:15oh no no no no no he doesn't deserve it
01:11:17why should he dream he's in a japanese garden
01:11:19after what he's done to me
01:11:21i should pay five thousand francs so he can feel like a flying fish
01:11:25no no never
01:11:27but mrs brandon he's your husband
01:11:28you must have loved him once
01:11:30let's not talk about it
01:11:31oh come on mrs brandon
01:11:32give him a break
01:11:33have a heart
01:11:35all right knock him out
01:11:36sit down
01:11:58come in
01:12:03come in
01:12:03what's the matter with you why don't you come in
01:12:14surprised huh
01:12:15what are you staring at
01:12:19i love you michael but it's good for you
01:12:24good night
01:12:39oh
01:12:40oh you've ruined my whole plan you idiot
01:12:44it serves you right bringing me a handbag in the middle of the night
01:12:47you've spoiled everything
01:12:48i'm tired i wanna go home
01:13:06albert oh i'm so sorry albert
01:13:09poor albert where did he hit you
01:13:12show nicole hmm
01:13:13here
01:13:14here
01:13:15here
01:13:16here
01:13:17here
01:13:18right here
01:13:20here
01:13:28Albert...
01:13:43Oh!
01:13:46Hello, Nicole.
01:13:47Oh, hello, Michael.
01:13:50I thought you were in Brussels.
01:13:52Surprised to see me back?
01:13:54Naturally.
01:13:55Oh, but it doesn't make any difference.
01:13:58You look a little nervous.
01:13:59Why should I be nervous?
01:14:01The husband comes home unexpectedly.
01:14:03Why, you don't think for a moment that I have anything to hide.
01:14:06No, I really don't.
01:14:07Well, I think I'll go and get some sleep.
01:14:09Oh, if you have the slightest doubt, why don't you go in?
01:14:12Let me tell you something. I'm going to fool you.
01:14:13I'm going in.
01:14:14Oh, no, Michael. No, Michael, you can't do that.
01:14:20I'm going in.
01:14:21Quiet, please.
01:14:29Oh, no.
01:14:40You, uh, you miserable little pipsqueak.
01:14:43I'm going in.
01:14:43Yeah.
01:14:44Oh, Michael, please don't hurt him.
01:14:46Hurt him? I'm going to wring his neck.
01:14:47No, Michael, he just came to bring a handbag.
01:14:52Now, look here.
01:14:53You made a nervous wreck out of me.
01:14:55You tortured me.
01:14:56You took my pride away, my self-respect, and I stood for it.
01:14:59But if you try to tell me that he just came here to bring a handbag, I'll kill you.
01:15:05Get out.
01:15:06Yes, Albert, get out.
01:15:08Go home.
01:15:08I can't go.
01:15:10I said go!
01:15:11I can't go while you're sitting on my pants.
01:15:31Well, Nicole, you win.
01:15:33Someone had to win.
01:15:35I've got to hand it to you.
01:15:36You're the first person that ever licked me.
01:15:39You wanted to hurt me, and you did.
01:15:42Well, come on.
01:15:44Why don't you laugh?
01:15:48Send my lawyer around in the morning.
01:15:50You can get the divorce.
01:15:51Oh, no, Michael.
01:15:52After all, I'm the guilty party.
01:15:54It's only fair that I should take the blame.
01:15:57Well, now, look here, Nicole.
01:15:59For several reasons, I think I should appear to be the guilty party.
01:16:02Oh, oh, I forgot.
01:16:06Your reputation.
01:16:08Oh, of course, Michael.
01:16:09Naturally, I'll get the divorce.
01:16:11The world will never know what really happened.
01:16:14As far as the public is concerned, Michael Brandon has tired of another wife and walked out.
01:16:20Another feather in your camp.
01:16:23Well, goodbye, Michael.
01:16:25Goodbye, Nicole.
01:16:38Goodbye, Michael.
01:16:58Sì, grazie mille, professor, e grazie mille volte.
01:17:02You really feel well, monsieur.
01:17:03Well, simply wonderful.
01:17:06I must have been in pretty bad shape, though.
01:17:08Now, tell me, have you ever had a case like mine before?
01:17:10Frankly, no.
01:17:12It's common enough for people to believe that the Alexander the Great or Napoleon.
01:17:16We are prepared for that.
01:17:17But for a man to imagine he's a chicken, well, I should say that's quite out of the water.
01:17:22Professor, I'll never forget that terrible morning when I flew into the kitchen and I said to the cook,
01:17:26Anna, where are the noodles? Quick, make soup out of me.
01:17:31Strange what the stock market can do to one.
01:17:34Well, well, that's all over now.
01:17:36Thanks to you and your splendid system of self-suggestion.
01:17:39Goodbye, monsieur Potin, and good luck.
01:17:41L'écord des nouvelles! L'écord des nouvelles!
01:17:46Merci, monsieur.
01:17:47L'écord des nouvelles! L'écord des nouvelles!
01:18:05You keep quiet or I'll come down.
01:18:07And not another egg out of you!
01:18:11I feel fine.
01:18:12It was a nice day yesterday.
01:18:13It'll be a nice day today.
01:18:14It'll be a nice day tomorrow.
01:18:15I feel fine.
01:18:15I feel fine.
01:18:16I feel very fine.
01:18:18I feel fine.
01:18:19It was a nice day yesterday.
01:18:20It's a nice day today.
01:18:20It'll be a nice day tomorrow.
01:18:21I feel fine.
01:18:22I feel fine.
01:18:23I feel very fine.
01:18:24How are you today, Mr. Brandon?
01:18:25Not so good.
01:18:26I feel fine.
01:18:26I feel fine.
01:18:27I feel very fine.
01:18:28It's a nice day yesterday.
01:18:30It's a nice day today.
01:18:31Your luncheon, Mr. Brandon?
01:18:37Mutton stew.
01:18:38Ah!
01:18:38Now, Mr. Brandon.
01:18:59You must let me in.
01:19:03Now, can't you take me as a patient?
01:19:05I'm very sorry, madame.
01:19:07Even if I were to let you in, it wouldn't do you any good.
01:19:09He wouldn't listen to anything you had to say.
01:19:11Why, the mere mention of your name makes him violent.
01:19:14If Mr. Brandon knew you were under the same roof,
01:19:16he'd jump out the window.
01:19:17We can't take the risk.
01:19:19So, please, madame, goodbye.
01:19:24It's no use, father.
01:19:25They won't let me see him.
01:19:26They won't even let me talk to Professor Urganseff.
01:19:29So, Professor Urganseff won't talk to a d'erloiselle?
01:19:32Well.
01:19:41Yes, sir?
01:19:43Will you step in, please?
01:20:12Yes, father?
01:20:18Nicole.
01:20:21What happened?
01:20:24Yes, father?
01:20:30Nicole.
01:20:32What happened?
01:20:33You bought it?
01:20:35It was a bargain.
01:20:48Nothing.
01:21:14What happened?
01:21:29No, no, no, no, no, no.
01:22:07No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
01:22:17Get out, please.
01:22:18Michael, is it Albert?
01:22:20Is that what's troubling you?
01:22:21No, no, no.
01:22:22I know that was a put-up job and it's just as bad.
01:22:23Now look here, you got your money.
01:22:24That's what you wanted.
01:22:25That's what you always thought.
01:22:27Believe me, Michael, I loved you from the moment I saw you.
01:22:30But you made it impossible.
01:22:32I had to break you down.
01:22:33I didn't want to be just another girl in the Brandon Follies.
01:22:36Well, you haven't broken me down.
01:22:37Oh, no, things have changed for us both, Michael.
01:22:39If I take you now, you can be sure I love you.
01:22:42I'm free, independent, rich.
01:22:45We're on equal terms, Michael.
01:22:48Oh, no, we're not.
01:22:50You're in a straitjacket and my arms are free.
01:22:53As a matter of fact, you're in my power, darling.
01:22:57Sit down.
01:22:58You...
01:22:58No, no, no, no.
01:22:59You never said that to a woman before and don't say it now.
01:23:02Please, Michael, have a chair.
01:23:05Get away from me.
01:23:06No, now, don't be afraid, Michael.
01:23:08Whatever may happen, I'm willing to take the consequences.
01:23:11I'll marry you.
01:23:12I hate you.
01:23:12No, no, no, no.
01:23:14You love me.
01:23:15You ran away from me.
01:23:16That proves it.
01:23:17You've stayed single for six months for the first time since you were thrown out of college.
01:23:21And why?
01:23:22Because you couldn't forget me, Michael.
01:23:24Oh, and they've been six miserable months for me, too.
01:23:28Why?
01:23:29Because I couldn't forget you.
01:23:31That's love, Michael.
01:23:32Stop tickling my face.
01:23:33That's not tickling.
01:23:34That's caressing.
01:23:35Then don't caress me.
01:23:36Then don't pay any attention to it.
01:23:37You better save your energy.
01:23:38I'm never going to marry you again.
01:23:39You've never been married before.
01:23:41Not my kind of marriage.
01:23:43For keeps forever, Michael.
01:23:45Stop caressing me.
01:23:46Now, that's tickling now.
01:23:47You're so mixed up in your emotions, darling.
01:23:50Wait till I get out of this straight jacket.
01:23:52What I'll do to you.
01:23:53Oh, I can hardly wait, Michael.
01:23:56Michael, Michael.
01:23:57Get away from me.
01:23:58Stop doing that.
01:23:59Nicole, please.
01:24:00This doesn't mean a thing to me.
01:24:01No, no, no.
01:24:03It's not going to mean a thing to me.
01:24:04No.
01:24:05I feel fine.
01:24:07I feel fine.
01:24:07I feel very fine.
01:24:08Oh, please, Nicole.
01:24:10Stop.
01:24:10That isn't fair, Nicole.
01:24:16Nothing.
01:24:19Let me up, Nicole.
01:24:21Nicole.
01:24:21Look.
01:24:22Let me up.
01:24:43Michael.
01:24:44Shut up.
01:24:47Non c'è nulla?
01:25:15Non c'è nulla?
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