- 8 mesi fa
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00:00:00Grazie a tutti
00:00:30Grazie a tutti
00:01:00Grazie a tutti
00:01:30Grazie a tutti
00:02:00Grazie a tutti
00:02:29Grazie a tutti
00:02:59Grazie a tutti
00:03:29Grazie a tutti
00:04:29I wonder where he's going
00:04:32He's got little Timmy
00:04:36Poor Timmy
00:04:37Hit him all up
00:04:40He's gotti
00:05:10He's gotti
00:05:40Jim go over there and talk to that sheriff and find out what the hell's going on
00:05:44Get over here
00:05:45How bad is it?
00:06:15What if the president wants an investigation?
00:06:45Our secretary?
00:06:46What's he doing here?
00:06:47The president's got him?
00:06:49Why him?
00:06:50Because he's got a vegetable garden?
00:06:52He's got some carrots and carrots and carrots and carrots and carrots and squash and tomatoes?
00:06:54Tells me there are reports and they're going to tell me there are reports of incidents like this all over the county?
00:06:57No, no, no, no, no.
00:07:27No, no, no, no, no.
00:07:57No, no, no, no, no.
00:08:27No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:08:57No, no, no, no, no.
00:09:27No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:29No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:31No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:33No, no, no, no, no.
00:09:35No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:37No, no, no, no, no.
00:09:39No, no, no, no, no.
00:09:41No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:43No, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:45No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:47No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:49No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
00:09:51I presento Dr. Nogatafa.
00:09:53How do you do, Doctor?
00:09:54Very well, thank you.
00:09:56Dr. Nogatafa, would you please explain the project of the journey?
00:10:11Gentlemen, what we have developed is, in essence, a half-man, half-robot.
00:10:16A very sophisticated combination of human intelligence and superhuman powers,
00:10:21which we are confident will result in the ultimate destruction of the enemy.
00:10:28Thank you, Dr. Nogatafa.
00:10:32Are there any comments, gentlemen?
00:10:35Mr. Platt.
00:10:37As head of the Federal Intelligence Agency,
00:10:40I certainly don't mean to question the background of these fine gentlemen.
00:10:44But, frankly, I don't think the answer to this problem lies in trinkets and gadgets.
00:10:50This is man versus vegetable.
00:10:53Technically, sir, tomatoes are fags.
00:10:57He means fruits.
00:11:00Ah, fruits.
00:11:02You see what I mean?
00:11:04Mr. Dixon, I've been authorized to assign you four of my best agents.
00:11:08Gentlemen, with your permission, I'd like to introduce Mr. Dixon to his operatives.
00:11:14That's fine, Mr. Platt.
00:11:16In the meantime, the rest of us will accompany the doctors down to view a demonstration of the latest anti-tomato project.
00:11:21We'll be going outside, Mr. Dixon.
00:11:23You better bring your coat.
00:11:24There's a little jap in the air.
00:11:27He needs net.
00:11:27There's a little jap in the air.
00:11:57Actually, gentlemen, this project entails the development of limps with superhuman powers.
00:12:11Unfortunately, budget limitations have restricted our development to only one of these technologically advanced ways.
00:12:18Okay, Brutes.
00:12:20Now let's try running first.
00:12:21Uh, that'd be fine, Bruce.
00:12:26That'd be fine.
00:12:29Uh, Bruce, please, uh, jump for us.
00:12:39Despite some minor recruitment difficulties caused by a recent PR problem,
00:12:43I believe you'll find that your unit will meet the highest of standards.
00:12:49Ten, Chuck.
00:12:52Your men, Dixon.
00:12:55Sam Smith, disguise expert.
00:12:58Greta Attenbaum, swimming expert.
00:13:01Greta defected to us after the last Olympics.
00:13:04We feel she's going to be quite an addition to the department.
00:13:06Greg Colburn, underwater expert.
00:13:11The fourth member of your unit, Lieutenant Finletter, is winding up his current mission.
00:13:17He'll contact you with these coordinates.
00:13:19Expect him at 1,500 hours.
00:13:22Good luck, Dixon.
00:13:23Can you, like, believe how we walk us on every issue?
00:13:44Oh, right on.
00:13:46We'll never have another president as bad as this one.
00:13:48What is it? Over there!
00:14:08Oh, no!
00:14:10Oh, no!
00:14:12Oh, no!
00:14:14Oh, no!
00:14:18Mr. Daniels, I realize that in the past there have been some questions raised regarding the president's use of public funds for what some may consider personal items.
00:14:44However, I can say without fear of contradiction that under no circumstances and at no time has the current administration expended any public monies whatsoever for the purchase of the fluffy flower print toilet paper.
00:14:59Now, if there are no further questions...
00:15:02Thank you, Mr. Press Secretary.
00:15:03Mr. Secretary! Mr. Secretary!
00:15:07Just a moment, gentlemen.
00:15:09One more question.
00:15:11The little fellow in the rear.
00:15:12Bobby Drake, sir, PS149.
00:15:15I have a question, sir.
00:15:18Certainly, young man.
00:15:19What would you like to know?
00:15:20We've heard nothing at all about the growing tomato menace.
00:15:23Growing tomato.
00:15:24Our correspondents around the country even ask people.
00:15:26I...
00:15:26I...
00:15:27wouldn't exactly call it a menace, young man.
00:15:35There have been some isolated reports of alleged incidents involving some unusual activity associated with this particular vegetable.
00:15:48But I assure you that this is not and never will become a menace.
00:15:53However, the president, leaving no stone unturned, has called upon our most noted congressional leaders in this field to begin a thorough, intensive, painstaking, and exhaustive investigation into the backgrounds and origins of this interesting quirk of nature.
00:16:11Now, furthermore, you can assure all of your young readers that this will never become a problem that Americans need fear.
00:16:19This, uh, this meeting of the Senate investigating committee's call to order.
00:16:28Does anybody remember what we're supposed to be investigating?
00:16:37The tomatoes, Wayne.
00:16:39Oh, sir?
00:16:40We're investigating those tomatoes.
00:16:43Oh, yes, yes, yes, of course.
00:16:45Yes, um...
00:16:46Well, here we are.
00:16:48There's one for you.
00:16:50One for you.
00:16:52One here for me.
00:16:54One for you.
00:16:55Well, it's funny, there's supposed to be one for everybody.
00:17:00I wonder where it could be.
00:17:09Good morning, City Arrow.
00:17:10May I help you?
00:17:13Roberts!
00:17:18Sir.
00:17:19Get me Goldstein.
00:17:20Well, he's still in Beirut, sir.
00:17:22Beirut?
00:17:23He's fired, sir.
00:17:24Oh.
00:17:25Yeah, give me jobs.
00:17:27Hurry, sir.
00:17:28He's covering that trial in Texas.
00:17:29Oh, cripes.
00:17:31Okay, just get me anybody in this special assignment desk.
00:17:35Well, on special assignment.
00:17:36God damn it, who the hell is here?
00:17:39Well, uh, there's you, sir.
00:17:42Thank you, Judas.
00:17:45Wait a minute.
00:17:46There's Fairchild.
00:17:47Who the hell is he?
00:17:49She.
00:17:49Sir.
00:17:51Uh, Lois Fairchild, society section.
00:17:53The new kid?
00:17:54Society, huh?
00:17:57Oh, what the hell?
00:17:58Send her in.
00:18:02Now, damn it!
00:18:03Hey, look.
00:18:11It's a funky little tomato.
00:18:17Hey, look.
00:18:29It's a funky little tomato.
00:18:31Where are we going?
00:18:46Take the old mission road.
00:18:47Some crazy-ass biker's got himself munched on by a herd of tomatoes.
00:18:50So what can we do?
00:18:51We can keep it quiet, that's what.
00:18:52Didn't you hear the police radio?
00:18:54It's solid tomatoes between here and Holtville.
00:18:56We're liable to get killed.
00:18:57Will you can it, you little pug-puller?
00:18:59If John C. Republic finds out what's really going down, we're both as good as dead.
00:19:02Fairchild, sir.
00:19:07Huh?
00:19:08Fairchild.
00:19:09Will you stand for me?
00:19:11Oh, yeah, yeah.
00:19:13Have a seat.
00:19:15Fairchild, I've been keeping my eye on you.
00:19:17You've got a good sense of organization.
00:19:21Thank you, sir.
00:19:22Fluid style.
00:19:24Thank you, sir.
00:19:25Thank you, sir.
00:19:27A nice ass.
00:19:28Thanks.
00:19:29I'm about to give you a challenge, your first big assignment.
00:19:33And I expect you to use every attribute at your disposal.
00:19:38I'm sure that what you lack in experience, you'll more than make up for in...
00:19:44determination.
00:19:46Now, this will give you the necessary background to handle the assignment.
00:19:53Go to it.
00:19:55Right away, sir.
00:19:58Now, one more thing, Fairchild.
00:20:01I'm certain the government will go to unbelievable lengths to ensure the secrecy of this thing.
00:20:07Good luck.
00:20:12Help!
00:20:13Help!
00:20:14Do you read me?
00:20:26Do you read me?
00:20:27Go away!
00:20:28Go away!
00:20:29Do!
00:20:30Do you read me?
00:20:32Do you read me?
00:20:32Are you happy now?
00:20:33Are you happy now?
00:20:33You can't defend this goddamn secret.
00:20:35No, we do.
00:20:35Where the hell we are?
00:20:36Do you read?
00:20:36Do you read?
00:20:37Help me!
00:20:38Oh, for God's sake.
00:20:39Give me that.
00:20:39Give me that for God's sake.
00:20:41Will you keep it down for God's sake?
00:20:42You can't tell me to shut up.
00:20:43I quit.
00:20:44What?
00:20:44You can't quit the department.
00:20:46I'm not the department.
00:20:46I'm going to die.
00:20:47You can see the little SOB.
00:20:49I'm going to die, too.
00:20:50Good, good, good, good.
00:20:52Not good, Mr. President.
00:20:56Not good at all.
00:20:58Frankly, I was not overly impressed with the level of competency displayed by the scientific team.
00:21:03I haven't seen Dixon's Special Forces Unit yet, but if it's anything like what I've seen so far, I'd say we're in for a bit of trouble.
00:21:12I know what you mean, Jim.
00:21:13I know what you mean.
00:21:14It's like trying to stack Bibles on whipped cream.
00:21:19Yes, sir.
00:21:19Jim, an unusual problem calls for an ingenious solution.
00:21:23I think I've got one.
00:21:25Jim, have you ever heard of Mindmaker?
00:21:27Well, certainly, sir.
00:21:28The advertising agency you used in your campaign.
00:21:30That's right.
00:21:32You know, they said I'd never get re-elected.
00:21:35Especially after it got out that I used the Statue of Liberty as collateral on that Arab loan.
00:21:39Yes, sir.
00:21:40But I'm sitting here now, and I owe it all to Mindmaker.
00:21:46Incidentally, Jim, you were in the Mideast last summer.
00:21:51Tell me, how does the old girl look in the Dead Sea?
00:21:54Just grand, sir.
00:21:56Good.
00:21:57Well, I tell you, Jim, if those fellas could elect me, they can do anything.
00:22:00Yes, sir.
00:22:02Jim, I want you to fly to New York immediately.
00:22:04I want you to see Ted Swan.
00:22:06Believe me, the man's a genius.
00:22:08I'm on my way, sir.
00:22:19That's the whole story.
00:22:21Say, would you want to buy a huge crib?
00:22:24I don't think so, but I appreciate this information.
00:22:27This could be especially helpful in...
00:22:29Fairchild, from the Times, what's this deal about tomatoes?
00:22:41Huh?
00:22:42Look, buddy, don't try and stonewall me.
00:22:44Hi there, Lois.
00:22:45Oh, hi, Clark.
00:22:50What are you doing here?
00:22:51No comment.
00:22:52Hand out of 2C.
00:22:53No comment.
00:22:54How serious is the situation?
00:22:56No comment.
00:22:57American public has a right to know.
00:22:59Up, up, and away!
00:23:00You can't ignore the press.
00:23:04Dixon!
00:23:05Dixon!
00:23:08Dixon!
00:23:11Dixon!
00:23:13Hey, guys, here it is.
00:23:14The song everybody's been asked for.
00:23:16Ronnie Desmond's Puberty Love.
00:23:18Puberty, Puberty Love.
00:23:22Oh, wow, what is that?
00:23:24Oh, no, don't tell me that's a song.
00:23:26Please, oh, turn it off.
00:23:27God, it's touching from the ears.
00:23:29I can't stand that noise.
00:23:31Oh, no, this is terrible.
00:23:32Let it all be like this.
00:23:33Fuck it.
00:23:34Oh, dear.
00:23:34Oh, dear.
00:23:36This is awful.
00:23:37I want to hear the news.
00:23:41And today, the president closed the nation's last remaining submarine base
00:23:45at Droughton, Connecticut.
00:23:46When asked why he had made the startling decision,
00:23:49the president responded,
00:23:51those funny little black ships just keep sinking anyway.
00:23:54And in other news today,
00:23:57in Newark, New Jersey,
00:23:58a man was eaten by a bacon, lettuce, and tomato sandwich.
00:24:02More than 50 percent.
00:24:03Yeah, let's get to that.
00:24:05Hmm.
00:24:05torrently,
00:24:06I think excited,
00:24:07little Beauty
00:24:07in the vice
00:24:09wanted to say,
00:24:09Once again,
00:24:09properly,
00:24:09a man,
00:24:11and we're safe to do this,
00:24:11a man doesn't matter.
00:24:15A man!
00:24:15This is furious,
00:24:20a man!
00:24:20Oh, yeah!
00:24:21I hate a man!
00:24:23Oh, oh, yeah!
00:24:24Really?
00:24:24Gr Sicht,
00:24:26a man!
00:24:26I hate a man!
00:24:27Fantastic!
00:24:27A man!
00:24:28I hate a man!
00:24:28Alright!
00:24:29I auch!
00:24:29I Phillips that,
00:24:30a man Internet!
00:24:31You're free!
00:25:01You're free!
00:25:31Oh, sei un po' finlander, eh?
00:25:55I'm Mason Dixon, and this is...
00:25:58My God!
00:25:59It's Adolf Fendler!
00:26:01Ah!
00:26:03Ah!
00:26:04Ah!
00:26:05Ah!
00:26:05Ah!
00:26:06Ah!
00:26:07Ah!
00:26:08Ah!
00:26:09Ah!
00:26:10Ah!
00:26:10Ah!
00:26:11Ah!
00:26:11Ah!
00:26:12Ah!
00:26:12Ah!
00:26:13Ah!
00:26:14Ah!
00:26:15Ah!
00:26:16Ah!
00:26:18Ah!
00:26:19This is Sam Smith.
00:26:22He's our undercover expert.
00:26:27He's only disguised as Adolf Hitler.
00:26:31Guten Morgen Herr Hitler.
00:26:33Autobahn.
00:26:34Frecken Sie Deutsch?
00:26:36Wienerschnitzel.
00:26:41Get in the back seat.
00:26:43What about me, Mr. Dixon?
00:26:44What about me?
00:26:46You?
00:26:49You?
00:26:53You go disguise yourself as a tomato and infiltrate their camp.
00:27:01What's up?
00:27:02What's up?
00:27:03You're a bad lady.
00:27:04That's nothing.
00:27:05You're a bad lady.
00:27:06You got to come.
00:27:07You're a bad lady.
00:27:08It's like you're watching.
00:27:09Come hang on.
00:27:10Come hang on.
00:27:11Grazie a tutti.
00:27:41Grazie a tutti.
00:28:11Grazie a tutti.
00:28:41Grazie a tutti.
00:28:43Grazie a tutti.
00:29:15Grazie a tutti.
00:29:17Can I do it?
00:29:18Can I do it?
00:29:20Some sell, some buy, and only we know why.
00:29:28The rapper's more important than the prize.
00:29:33Important decisions are made each day.
00:29:36Much too important for the plain folk to make.
00:29:38They're always in a bind.
00:29:40Depend on us to help make up their mind.
00:29:42Red box, blue box, a red box in a blue box.
00:29:47Bright colors and a coupon on the side.
00:29:52Hard sellers, soft sellers, all the same.
00:29:55Millions of dollar bills are spent every day.
00:29:57Where do they all go?
00:30:00Mindmakers here to run the show.
00:30:06We sell cars and toys for girls and boys and chairs and beds and shrunken heads.
00:30:10Sugar beats and baseball cleats and ice to Eskimos.
00:30:12Leaks and mink and boats that sink no matter what will get it sold.
00:30:16Balloons, catchy, jingles, snappy tunes, and pretty girls will dig balloons.
00:30:21A little lie, a stretch, a truth can turn the public's head.
00:30:24The TV types and ad execs and everyone's the best at the end.
00:30:30They all look up to a single man.
00:30:36And that one single man is me.
00:30:42They sell, they buy, and only I know why.
00:30:50The human mind is putty in my hands.
00:30:54Important decisions are made each day.
00:30:57Much too important for the plain folk to make.
00:31:00They're always in a bind.
00:31:01Depend on me to help make up their mind.
00:31:06Decision-wise, posse-wise, demographically speaking,
00:31:11mind-makers!
00:31:14Well, let's go meet that challenge, young man.
00:31:18I've already put my staff to work,
00:31:20so if you'll be good enough to stop by in the morning,
00:31:22we can take a look-see at some of the preliminary sketches.
00:31:27Roll it!
00:31:28Then I can tell the president that you'll accept the assignment.
00:31:31Keeping a big city on the move in no small town.
00:31:35Traffic cops all over the country meet this challenge day to day.
00:31:38This man is like any other policeman anywhere in the country.
00:31:43He works hard and takes pride in serving people.
00:31:46Yes, he's a policeman just like any other,
00:31:49except for one thing.
00:31:50He is blind.
00:31:51This has been a public service announcement
00:31:58produced for the National Health Foundation.
00:32:12Sir, I really don't think this is a good place to camp.
00:32:15We're not sleeping on the sidewalk.
00:32:18You see that big building over there?
00:32:20It's called a hotel.
00:32:22You and I are going to sleep in the hotel.
00:32:25No campfire, sir?
00:32:27No campfire.
00:32:28Well, then what am I supposed to do with these marshmallows?
00:32:30Here's the key to my room.
00:32:57I'm going to check for messages.
00:32:58Be up in a minute.
00:32:59Yes, sir.
00:33:11Pardon me.
00:33:12Do you have any messages for Mason Dixon in room 401?
00:33:27Okay.
00:33:29Excuse me.
00:33:53Yeah, at the key to room 401, I seem to have misplaced mine.
00:34:03Thank you.
00:34:03Pray Tell Records presents 21 Great Dead Beats.
00:34:09You get the best of Jimi Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Otis Redding, Buddy Holly, Jim Croce.
00:34:13It's the evening news with Charles Collingsmith.
00:34:20Turn that thing off, will you?
00:34:22Let's get some sleep.
00:34:25Substituting for Dan Ratner.
00:34:25Marshmallow.
00:34:26Substituting.
00:34:27Substituting.
00:34:27Substituting.
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00:34:40Grazie a tutti.
00:35:10Grazie a tutti.
00:35:40Grazie a tutti.
00:36:10Grazie a tutti.
00:36:40Grazie a tutti.
00:36:42Grazie a tutti.
00:36:44Grazie a tutti.
00:36:46Grazie a tutti.
00:36:48Grazie a tutti.
00:36:50This NBS News Hotline Bulletin is brought to you by Schritz Beer.
00:36:55You're never too drunk to ask for Schritz.
00:36:58And by Bright Gums, the toothpaste for people without teeth or tension.
00:37:04And by...
00:37:06What is it, Spock?
00:37:31What's in there?
00:37:32Spock?
00:37:33Spock?
00:37:35Spock?
00:37:37Spock?
00:37:38Spock?
00:37:39Spock?
00:37:40Spock?
00:37:44Spock?
00:37:50Spock!
00:37:52Spock!
00:37:53Grazie a tutti.
00:38:23Grazie a tutti.
00:38:53We've captured a giant tomato.
00:38:55Grazie a tutti.
00:39:25Grazie a tutti.
00:39:55Grazie a tutti.
00:40:25Grazie a tutti.
00:40:55Grazie a tutti.
00:41:25Grazie a tutti.
00:41:55Grazie a tutti.
00:42:25Grazie a tutti.
00:43:25Grazie a tutti.
00:43:55Grazie a tutti.
00:44:25Grazie a tutti.
00:44:57Grazie a tutti.
00:46:57Grazie a tutti.
00:48:57Grazie a tutti.
00:49:57Grazie a tutti.
00:50:27Grazie a tutti.
00:50:57a tutti.
00:51:27a tutti.
00:52:27a tutti.
00:53:57a tutti.
00:54:27a tutti.
00:54:57a tutti.
00:55:27a tutti.
00:55:57a tutti.
00:56:27a tutti.
00:56:57a tutti.
00:57:27a tutti.
00:57:57a tutti.
00:58:27a tutti.
00:58:57a tutti.
00:59:27a tutti.
00:59:57a tutti.
01:00:27a tutti.
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01:03:27a tutti.
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01:04:57a tutti.
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01:07:27a tutti.
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01:08:27.
01:09:27a tutti.
01:09:57a tutti.
01:10:27a tutti.
01:11:27.
01:11:57a tutti.
01:12:27.
01:12:57a tutti.
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01:15:27a tutti.
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